Monthly Archives: February 2019

LOVEY

 

Lovey is exhausted and anxious. She’s been cooped up in the hot, dirty van for almost two days. Her legs are restless; she’s so thirsty that she begins to tremble. She trumpets her fear, and discomfort for all to hear if anyone bothers to listen. She’s angry. She hasn’t felt anything for a long time, but she feels red-hot anger now. She rocks back and forth hitting the sides of the van so violently that the van sways and rocks with her.

The driver of the van yells, “Stop Lovey, stop” to no avail. He calls his boss on his cell phone. “You have to stop, so I can let Lovey out, or she’s going to cause herself and the van untold damage.” The owner agrees to stop in the next empty lot he sees. And stay for the night, take care of the animals, and let everyone rest before their next performance.

The last caravan pulls into the deserted parking lot well past midnight. Time and the sun have faded the painting of the bearded lady on the side of the van. But you can still clearly see her glamorous figure clad in a red, white and blue ballerina tutu. Her glorious red beard is there for all to admire.

They had driven almost six hundred miles in the last two days. Everyone in the Three Ringed Circus is extremely tired, hot and sweaty. It was getting harder and harder to find new venues. The public wants to see the glamour and amazing feats of courage and flying acrobats, doing death-defying acts. They want their animals wild, but safe, looking healthy and happy.

But they weren’t getting that from Three-Ring Circus. It’s on the last leg of a journey that began its’ history in the early 1950s. Most of the famous performers have retired or moved on, or just disappeared from sight altogether.

When Gaucho pulls open the sliding doors to the van, Lovey trumpets as loud as she can. The only thing keeping her in the van is the shackles on her ankles. Gaucho has the bullock in his hand and shows it to Lovey. Usually, this is enough to calm her down.

She knows from many years of experience that if it slaps against her sensitive skin, it will sting for a very long time and might well cut her. If the cut becomes infected the circus doesn’t have a veterinarian on staff. And certainly, the little towns that they frequent don’t have a wild animal vet. She would be a very sick elephant and might die from a simple injury.

The circus often only had outdated medications and no money to spend on the care that these animals need. In the wild elephants often walk up to fifty miles a day across the savanna and live as long as fifty years. Animals kept in circuses even the famous, moneyed ones lived an average of twelve years.

Gaucho steps back, he knows this animal has great power and weight behind her, but he’s never seen her like this. He has been her trainer for five years. He knows from talking to the other carnies that Lovey and has been with the circus for a long time.

And that at one time, she had a mate, named Ganesha a huge elephant from India. He had sickened and died before a large animal vet could be found. Lovey had been very attached to him and mourned his death for many years. He was told that she was never the same after his death.

She had refused to perform and sometimes refused to eat or drink. She has a big heart, and it had been broken by the loss of her mate. Elephants are herd animals, and she was here alone with no other elephants. She was near animals that would have been a threat to her if she were still living in the wild. Her life with the circus was unnatural and very stressful for her and all the other wild creatures that are captive here.

Gaucho walks over to the supply truck and pulls out a wagon that contains water. Luckily, they had filled all the containers on their last stop. He grabs a bucket and puts it in the wagon. He pulls down the ramp and hurriedly pulls the wagon down the ramp, and over to the terrified, and terrifying Lovey.

He carefully slides the bucket next to her and fills it with water. Lovey’s about to kick the bucket away then she realizes its water. She puts her trunk down into the bucket and sprays the water across her back and then again into the bucket and quenches her thirst.

She feels momentarily relieved and quiets. Gaucho slowly and carefully unchains her ankles. By this time many of the circus performers and all of the grunts are standing behind Gaucho. “Stay back, fools, get away from here while I take care of Lovey. Unless you want to be pummeled into the earth.”

Gaucho waits for a few moments then give Lovey the trunk-up signal. Lovey becomes enraged and begins trumpeting loudly and stamps her feet. There’s a look of fire in her eyes and it’s at that moment that Gaucho knows to get the hell out of the way and shouts.” Run, run.”

He follows his own good advice just in time, Lovey charges out of the van and begins running, running for her life. In her mind, she sees before her the golden savanna grasses being blown by the soft breeze and the cool water of the elephant water hole of her youth in the distance.

She’s determined to reach it at any cost. She will run down anything that tries to prevent her from arriving there. She’s saving her life. Her instinct for self-preservation kicks in and she runs full tilt, there’s no stopping her. Everyone who has been watching her now disappears into the wind, not wanting to be trampled by this behemoth that has lost her mind.

Someone has called the coffer and he arrives just in time to see the elephant charging his jeep. He quickly reaches behind him to get his rifle and aims it at her head and pulls the trigger, and then again for good measure. Lovey keeps moving momentarily before the message gets to her brain that she’s dead. And then she drops to the ground, finally free, free to travel the land of her birth, among her tribe. She sees her beloved Ganesha, she feels love fill her huge heart and then peace.

 

SHAKE THREE TIMES, THEN IRON

I read in the news today that the Hasbro toy company is tossing out the iron token in the Monopoly game since they consider it to be a passé` icon. Their argument is that only our grandmothers, or perhaps great grandmothers would recognize, in our high tech, high def world such an old fashion household appliance.

This may be overwhelmingly true for the Millennial Generation. I’m sure they don’t own irons. And it’s possible even their mothers shunned this homely gadget.  Perhaps viewed as a shackle that chained their mothers for hours in the kitchen. When they could be out in the world making a real difference for themselves, and their future generations. I have to confess that I too, hate to iron. However, as a frequent sewer, I consider it to be a necessity, not a pleasurable activity.

On the other hand, some of my warmest memories of my childhood revolve around the kitchen, and my mother bent over the iron. My mother was a prolific ironer; she ironed everything from our clothing, to sheets and pillowcases. You name it if it had been in the washer; eventually, it did its time on the ironing board as well. She kept a 7-UP bottle filled with water and plugged it with a metal sprinkle head as her constant companion. She would sprinkle all the stiff dry clothes with the bottle.

These were the days before wash and wear, permanent press, before we had a dryer. The clothes were hung on a line in our backyard to dry, regardless of inclement weather. My mother would clip them with wooden clothespins to a clothesline that was suspended by two metal poles cemented into the earth.

Even Hurricane Hazel didn’t knock that sucker down, it held. When the clothes were dry, my mother brought out her wicker clothes basket, gather the clothes to be ironed. We were a family of eight, so there was an unending supply of things that my mother deemed in need of ironing.

When I arrived home from school at about 3:00 pm, I would find my mother ironing. Perhaps even in the early sixties, this was a passé activity. I not knowing any differently believed all children’s mothers spent hours daily washing and ironing their clothes.

I can picture it so clearly as if it were only yesterday. I run at fast as I could home from school, burst in the front door. My mother was always home, standing there perhaps suspended in time waiting, waiting for me to come home, and tell her all the news of my day.

“Hey Mom, I’m home, I’m starving, anything to eat?”

“Oh Susie, there you are, I was beginning to get worried. How was your day? What did you learn today? Where is your sister Karen? She would pepper me with questions, not giving me a chance to answer her. “Let me get you some milk and cookies. Daddy went shopping today, and he bought your favorite, Fig Newtons, won’t that taste good?”

She would quickly run over to the refrigerator, and fill a tall glass with cold milk, and put two or three cookies on a plate. I would pull out a chair and have a seat next to her near the ironing board. She would get back to ironing and I would tell her about my day.

No matter how insignificant or mundane my day had been my mother would give me her undivided attention. She made me feel as if I was in that moment the center of her life, in a world where I didn’t often feel I was important at all.

Those few moments my mother and I talked were the most life-affirming, and memorable of my life. I can still hear the hiss as the iron struck the damp clothes; smell the fragrant air that perfumed the basket of clothes. And most memorable see my mother smile and hear her gentle laugh at the stories I told her while she ironed her afternoon away.

Perhaps in this hurry up, can’t get things done quickly enough world, we should stop for a moment, and take a breath, and listen to what our children tell us. How they experience the world, how they feel, and let them know that no matter that the cell phone is ringing, or we have dinner to cook, places to go, meetings to take. That just for those few moments suspended in time, we are there, really there for them to lend a listening ear and an open heart.

 

 

Morning Has Broken

I woke up in the middle of the night with a slight throb in my lower right molar. I probed it gently with my finger. I felt a small lump on the gum underneath the tooth. Oh god no I thought not another tooth problem. I looked into the medicine cabinet and found a bottle of aspirin and threw it back two with a gulp of water. I went back to bed and hoped for the best.

Unfortunately, in the morning it isn’t better. Now the whole right side of my face is aching, and even my ear is hurting. I walk toward the bathroom like I’m walking to my execution slowly, and hesitantly. I don’t have my glasses on but even without them, I can see in the mirror that my face on the right side looks like I have the mumps.

I open my mouth. When the cool air hits my tooth I think the top of my head will explode. I probe around again with my finger and the lump on my gum was now a horrible yellowish color. I stare into the abyss. God no, not another abscess, I just didn’t understand why this kept on happening to me.

I brush and floss twice a day. I have a check-up every six months. What the hell is going on? If that freaking dentist tells me I need another root canal I’ll just go out of my mind. I’ll just have the damn thing pulled out. That’s it, pull that thing out, and forget about it.

I dose myself again and put a heating pad on my face. I call my office. “Louise, I have a tooth problem. I’m going to have to get an emergency dentist appointment. Can you please cancel all my appointments for the day? Yes, I know I had a ten o’clock appointment with Mr. Cochran. I’m not going to be able to make it. My whole face is swollen. I’m in pain. Yes, yes, I know I just had a tooth problem recently. Just cancel my appointments already, will you?” God, sometimes I just hated that woman; she argues more with me than my ex-wife.

My freaking dentist is on vacation. The answering service gives me the number of a dentist that’s filling in for him. A young guy, what else can go wrong? With my luck, he won’t speak English, or he’ll have just graduated from dental school or something.

I get an appointment for two hours from now. The painkillers are doing nothing. God, I wish right now my ex was here she always had some oxy or something in her purse. She popped those things all day like tic tacs.

I go early to the dentist, maybe he’s a fast worker, and is waiting for me. No such luck he is overbooked, and I have to wait an hour. At one point I almost started to cry it hurt so damn much. I rush up to the reception window. “Miss, miss, my name is Tony Barra. I have an appointment at 10 am. I’ve been waiting, I’m in pain, when is the doctor going to see me?”

“I know Mr. Barra as I explained to you fifteen minutes ago, the Doctor is running behind, he’ll see you shortly. She closes the window and takes out her cell and starts scanning her messages. I tap on the window to no avail. She’s engrossed in her phone messages. I sit down and wait.

Finally, finally, they call me in, the assistant is in her early twenties, very pretty. I could care less I’m nearly delirious with pain. She sits me down, tells me to turn off my cell phone. She puts that stupid napkin and the clip thing around my neck. “So, sir, what seems to be the problem this morning?”

“The problem, the problem is if you had eyes in your head, my face is swollen up the size of a watermelon. I’m in terrible pain, since last night, I have an abscessed tooth. I open my mouth, the air hits it, and I let out a little scream. I think I might vomit any minute.

“Well sir, we’ll leave that to the doctor to determine, right now I’m going to have to take an x-ray. She jams the film in my mouth and I almost hit her. She steps back. Sir you are going to have to calm down. Or I’ll have to call the doctor in here.”

“Yes, yes please do call the fricking doctor in here, about damn time.”

She stamps out of the room. The doctor comes in. I’m right on both counts he’s really young, maybe right out of kindergarten. Maybe a little older but his English is very difficult to understand. This is my lucky day. I should have bought a lottery ticket on the way over I’m really feeling lucky wow.

“Hello Mr. Barra, how are you doing today? I’m Dr. Wong”

“Well Doctor, if you are indeed a doctor, how do I look like I am doing?”

“Well let’s take a look, shall we?” He starts probing around in my mouth with one of the sharp curved dental instruments of torture. “Does this hurt, how about that?”

I feel my hands starting to form fists. I put my hand up in the universal sign for stop. I can’t really speak because he has both his hands and possibly one of his feet in my mouth. He removes one of his hands, “Hurts, hurts, hurts.” I say around his hand.

The assistant appears at the doorway and says from a distance. “Here is the film doctor.” She disappears as quickly and quietly as she appears.”

Doctor Badlove says, “It appears as if there is an abscess and the infection has spread to the two teeth adjacent to it, that is unfortunate.”

Yes, I think to myself that is unfortunate, isn’t it?

“Well Mr. Barra, you may lose the tooth with the initial infection. We’ll have to do root canals on the other two. How would you like to proceed? Shall we get started today?”

“Doctor I would rather have all my teeth removed than endure another root canal, any other solutions?”Well actually I do have a suggestion, I could use a new type of anesthesia that doesn’t put you to sleep, but makes you feel very relaxed and somewhat groggy. Some people feel a little groggy afterward but it wears off fairly quickly. If you agree we can take care of all three teeth now. Perhaps I’ll be able to save the badly infected tooth, once I see what it looks like. What do you say sound good to you?”

I think work gets done all at once, no pain, go home relaxed. “Yes, I can live with that plan, do it.”

“Alright first I’ll give you a local anesthetic then I’ll use the sedation, which you will inhale through a mask that my assistant will place over your nose. Open your mouth and I will inject the anesthetic. Very good, my assistant will be here in a few moments and then the next thing you know, you will be done, and out of here.

You will have to take antibiotics for ten days. You’ll get aftercare instructions. You have to come in for a follow-up visit in ten days. Of course, if there are any problems please feel free to call.”

The next thing I remember is opening my eyes up and seeing the very young dentist standing before me. At least I think it’s the dentist but he looks different somehow. He has a mask on over his nose and mouth. But there is something different about his face.

Then I realize his eyes are heavily made up and he’s wearing high heels, and a skirt and blouse under his white jacket. The blouse is lime green, and the skirt is kind of frilly looking. He has green dangling earrings.

Oh, I must be dreaming or having some kind of drug-induced hallucination. The next thing I know the assistant is helping me sit up and take the napkin off of my neck.

“Ok Mr. Barra, luckily the doctor was able to save all of your teeth, you will experience some discomfort. The doctor is giving you a pain prescription if it’s too uncomfortable. Take your time. There’s a room to your left that says recovery room. Please go in there and sit until you feel well enough to drive, then you can leave. Good day, Mr. Barra, I hope you feel better soon.

I walk somewhat wobbly to the Recovery Room. There’s no one else in there at the moment. I sit down and think about the doctor, and how I remember him being dressed. No, it can have happened, just some weird side effect of that anesthetic.

I sit for a good half hour, but that weird image keeps popping into my mind. I try dismissing it. I start feeling more myself. My mouth is still numb, and drool is running out of my mouth so I wipe it off and prepare to leave.

Just as I’m standing up to leave, Doctor Wong sticks his head in the doorway. He’s dressed normally. I feel a sense of relief wash over me. “Oh, Mr. Barra you’re still here. How are you feeling?”

“Oh, pretty good, but my mouth is still numb.”

” That’s perfectly normal it will wear off slowly in the next couple of hours. Call my office if there’s any problem, any problem at all.”

Just as he is turning away, I notice he has on one of the green dangling earrings.