Daily Archives: September 30, 2019

Every Dog Has His Day

I open my eyes and look at my clock. As usual, I wake up five minutes before the alarm goes off. It’s a weird and really useless superpower, but it seems to be the only one I possess. If I had a choice, I would choose to be able to become invisible at will.

There are quite a few reasons why I would like to claim this power. At school, it would be especially useful. I could disappear when I was called on in class when I didn’t know the answer.

I could listen in on conversations that I was not supposed to hear. For instance, I could listen in when Sister Joseph Catherine and Sister Saint George, the other fifth-grade teacher, are planning on giving us a pop quiz. I’d know exactly what to study and not get the second-lowest grade in the class in Math. Robin Schultz is always last.

Although I don’t know if invisibility would help, sometimes it seems no matter how hard I study, my mind goes completely blank when I take a test. As soon as sister says, get out a piece of paper for a pop quiz. It is as if my mind is a chalkboard that someone has hastily erased. I can almost see what is written there, but it’s blurry.

As long as I’ve mentioned Robin Schultz, I might as well tell you how he is my arch-enemy. I don’t know why he hates me so much, but it seems his sole purpose is to make my life a misery in school.

As if I don’t have enough reasons to hate it. What with Sister Joseph Catherine using me as her slave and telling me twenty times a day how she doesn’t understand why I am so stupid and not as smart as my sister, Karen?

Oh yeah, did I forget to mention, I have a twin sister, not the cool kind that looks just like me and is your best friend, but the fraternal kind, who has a million friends, never studies, and gets straight A’s. We are in the same classroom and have been since first grade. She pretends that she doesn’t know me. Since, for some reason, she thinks I am weird.

Anyway, getting back to Robin Schultz, he takes every opportunity to get me in trouble or make fun of me when there are a lot of other kids around. Do you think he would have some empathy for me since we are the shortest kids in the class?

Maybe you know what that’s like? When they take the class picture, I always have to stand in the front. People think I’m younger than I am and talk to me like I am a baby. Even my mother does that sometimes. One day I ask her if I can walk to the Cherry Hill Mall with my best friend, Joanie.

She said, “No, you aren’t old enough.” But she lets my sister Karen go there all the time. The last time I said,” Why can Karen walk there, but I can’t?” Well, Susie, Karen is older.” But she’s my twin. And Karen is only seven minutes older for crying out loud. It’s ridiculous!

Anyway,  Robin Schultz is the bane of my existence. Just yesterday, I was called up to the front of the class to do a math problem on the blackboard. We’re studying adding, subtracting, and dividing fractions. I can never remember the common denominator.

I’m terrified of having to stand in front of the other kids in class. I’m afraid everyone will laugh at me, or I won’t know the answer. And then my whole class will think I’m stupid, just like Sister Joseph Catherine is always telling me. Whenever we are doing math problems on the board, I keep my head down behind my book, hoping that I won’t get called on. But I always do. 

So, anyway yesterday, Sister calls on me, and as I’m walking up to the board, Robin Schulz sticks his foot out. And then I trip and almost fall on top of Thomas Beck, who I have a secret crush on. Everybody starts laughing, and my face gets all red, and that makes them all laugh even harder. Even my friend Irene is laughing.

Sister screeches at the class,” That’s enough. Quiet down. Susan, get busy doing that problem!”

At that moment, I made a vow to myself that I would seek vengeance on Robin Schultz. He has had his last laugh at my expense. That night I can hardly sleep because I decide that tomorrow, I am going to get him and get him good.

The next day, right before the lunch bell rings, I raise my hand and ask, “Sister, can I go to the ladies’ room?”

She says,” Well, Miss Carberry, can’t you wait until you get home?”

“No sister, it’s an emergency, I can’t wait.”

She took this statement seriously because the last time I told her the same thing, she had said, “Well, you are just going to have to wait until you get home, missy!” But I couldn’t wait, and I wet my pants while I was in line waiting to go home for lunch.

After my sister excused me, I ran out of the classroom, and instead of going to the bathroom, I ran out the emergency door and took the shortcut home through Lombardi’s backyard.

Before I had left for school that morning, I tied a jump rope to a stake in Lombardi’s front yard next to their sidewalk across from the big Maple tree. I hid behind the tree with the rope clasped tightly in my hands. Robin lives on my street, about a block and a half away from my house. I know he’ll be passing by soon.

And just at that moment, I see him walking quickly in my direction, then he starts running. I quickly pull the rope as hard as I can. Down he goes, and he hits hard, a big whoosh of air came out of him when he hits the ground. I see tears erupt from his eyes, and his face becomes as red as a beet.

At that moment, I feel a mixture of joy and pity for him. I run over to him, and say,” Well Robin, how does it feel to be on the receiving end of a mean prank, not so funny is it?”

He probably would have gotten up at that moment and punched me if it wasn’t for the fact that the wind was knocked out of him. He slowly and deliberately says, “I’m going to annihilate you.”

“No, no, you’re not Robin, not today, and not ever again. Because if you do, I’m going to tell everybody in the whole class, maybe everybody in the whole school, how you cried like a baby. And the only person you can ever beat in a fight is the smallest girl in class!” And that is how I used my intelligence to beat Robin Schultz—the bully who terrorized and made me feel miserable for five years of school.

I know now that bullies are cowards since the only people they pick on are younger or smaller or afraid to stick up for themselves. If I ever see anyone bully, I tell them to stop. If that doesn’t work, I’ll tell a teacher or my Mom what is happening. No one has the right to bully or make fun of another person for any reason. Everyone has the right to be treated with respect and dignity.