Monthly Archives: May 2021

MARIE’S RECIPES

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It’s almost unbearably hot in the kitchen, even though all the windows in the kitchen are wide open. And Marie’s new summer curtains are pushed aside. If it wasn’t for the ceiling fan that Harry installed a couple of years ago Marie thinks she would probably pass out or have expired by now. Summer in New Jersey is not only hot but unbelievably humid. You know how people say, “it’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.” Well, it’s both.

Mom sitting at the kitchen table,

Marie isn’t one to complain. In fact, she never complains. She learned that complaining is an unwelcome trait when she was growing up as the only daughter in a house filled with older brothers and a sick mother.

She’s been bent over the ironing board for the past several hours but thank god she’s finally finished that tedious task. She had a large family with six children. All grown and left home save for the youngest two, who are twins in the fifth grade. And even though there are only four people living in the house now, there’s still plenty of ironing to do. Harry is fussy about how his clothes look. Of course, she never mentions to anyone how much she hates ironing, especially Harry, never has, never will.

Marie notices a movement out the kitchen’s side window. She tilts her head to get a better view. It’s Mrs. Rice, her next-door neighbor. She has her rotary push mower out and is energetically pushing the mower in crooked rows from one side of her front yard to another. It isn’t unusual for her to cut the grass on the most inhospitable day. Although she usually chooses a day when it’s pouring down rain. Mrs. Rice is a widow with one son that lives at home and three married daughters.

Marie would never admit it out loud, but she really doesn’t like Mrs. Rice at all. The woman just rubs her the wrong way. She made a habit of saying hurtful things to Marie, and she goes out of her way to talk to Harry. Whenever Mrs. Rice talks to her, Marie nods and keeps walking or ignores her altogether. Marie is friendly and thoughtful to people but she cannot bring herself to even look at the woman for any length of time.

The final straw that broke the camel’s back happened when Mrs. Rice came over to the side door and hammered on it with her closed fist. Marie looks out the curtain and sees Mrs. Rice. She reluctantly opens the door and she can tell by the look on Mrs. Rice’s face that she’s fit to be tied. “Yes, what can I do for you?”

“I just had my front steps painted red and “someone” came over and took some of the paint and the paintbrush and painted nasty words on my sidewalk. And I think it was your daughter, Susan. She will have to clean it up.”

“What?” Susan would never do such a thing, and she doesn’t know any bad words. She’s only ten years old.” And with that, my mother slammed the side door in Mrs. Rice’s face. If it was possible Marie thought she actually hates Mrs. Rice. But she knows that’s wrong and tries not to think about it again.

It’s Friday afternoon and it’s Marie’s custom to make a cake for Sunday afternoon. Today she decides to make an Applesauce Cake. She takes out all the ingredients, a measuring spoon and a measuring cup, and a spatula. And she opens the cabinet and pulls up the mixer. She just loves how Harry attached the mixer inside the cabinet and all she had to do is pull it up and lock it into place.

She began adding the ingredients one by one.

1 1/3 cup flour

1 13 cup sugar

¼ tsp. Baking powder

1 tsp. Salt

½ tsp. Cinnamon

¼ tsp cloves

¼ tsp. Allspice

w/3 cup shortening

1/3 cup water

1 cup unsweetened applesauce

1 large egg (beaten)

1/3 cup chopped nuts

2/3 cup chopped raisins.

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Grease rectangular pan well and dust with flour. Sift dry ingredients into a bowl. Add shortening, water, and applesauce. Beat 2 min. Scrape sides of bowl constantly. Stir in nuts and raisins. Pour in prepared pan, bake for 35 to 40 minutes.

Baking is one of Marie’s favorite tasks. Rarely does anyone say thank you for cleaning the house and washing my clothes, but everyone loves her cakes, cookies, and pies? She’s proud of her baking skills. Although she rarely eats cake, she does love her Peppermint Patties.

When the twins come home from school, they sit down and she gives them each a glass of milk and some cookies. They love to dunk the cookies in cold milk. Marie is still bent over the ironing board making her way through the wrinkled clothing. Marie doesn’t have a dryer. She still hangs all her clothes on a clothesline out in the backyard. If it is raining or too cold outside, she hangs them on clotheslines in the basement. This is why they are wrinkled. If she doesn’t have time to iron all the clothing in one afternoon, Marie rolls up the clothes and puts them in the back of the refrigerator, until the next day.

Susan sits down and starts eating her cookies and dipping them in the cold milk. Susan’s twin sister says she will eat her cookie on the way to her friend’s house. “Alright, but go up and change into your play clothes before you go, and be home for dinner at 5:00. Don’t be late.”

“I won’t be. I’ll see you later.”

“Be careful riding your bike in the street.”

“Susan, so how was school today?”

“Mr. Mc Elliot was teaching us some words in French today. Also, he told me that he knows my brother Harry and that he used to work with him at the Post Office. He thinks he is one of the smartest people he ever knew.”

“Oh, I forgot about that. That was a long time ago.”

“Did anything else happen in school today, Susan?”

“Well, I was showing Mr. Mc Elliot some of my drawings that I made. Remember I drew all those pictures on the stiff paper Daddy gave me. Well, all the kids gathered around him to look at the drawings and were handing them to each other to look at. And I ask for them back. And they didn’t give them to me right away and I got mad.”

“Were you afraid you wouldn’t get them back?”

“No, I got mad because they were looking at my drawings but didn’t pay any attention to me, and I made the drawings.”

“Oh, you felt ignored. What kind of drawings were they?”

“Well, one of them was a drawing of a shooting star and the star had a face and a holster and was shooting a gun.”

“Oh, that was a clever idea, Susan. Why don’t you show them to me?”

“Mr. McElliot still has them, he said he’ll give them back tomorrow.”

“I’m sure he will Susan.”

“OK, Mom.”

“Why don’t you get change and go out and play for a while, I have to start dinner.”

“What are we having, Mom?”

“Your favorite, Susan, beef stew.”

“Great, Mom, I’ll be home on time.”

I go to my room and change my clothes and throw my uniform on my bed. I pull my play clothes out of the drawer and put them on. I grab my sneakers and shove my feet into them without untying the shoelaces.

I run down the steps two at a time.  Susan is about to run out the door and she says, “what kind of cake did you make, Mom?”

“Applesauce Cake, Susan, one of your favorites.”

“Oh, boy can I have some now?”

“No, you already had cookies, that’s for Sunday after dinner. It’s the dessert you know that.”

“OK, I’ll be home at five Mom.”

Marie has finished ironing for the day, so she rolls up any unfinished ironing and puts it in the back of the refrigerator on the second shelf under the milk and eggs. She goes over to the counter and pours herself a cup of hot coffee from the percolator and adds cream and three sugars. Marie doesn’t have a big appetite but she does love her sweets including sugar.

After Marie finishes her coffee, she washes the coffee cup and dries it, and puts it away. She decides she has time to wash the kitchen floor. So, she gets out the bucket and fills it with warm water and floor cleaner. First, she puts all the chairs upside down on the kitchen table and then sweeps the floor with the broom and dustbin. Then she washes the floor on her hands and knees from the front window all the way up the kitchen counters. She takes the bucket into the bathroom and dumps the dirty water down the toilet and flushes it.

Marie goes down to the shelf in the cellarway and gets out some of the newspaper.

She lays the newspaper on the kitchen floor. Because she knows one of the kids and some of their friends might show up and walk all over her clean floor looking for a snack.

It has been a long day, and Marie goes into her bedroom and takes off her shoes, and sits in her chair. This is really the first time she’s sat down all day. Marie wakes up at six o’clock sharp and goes to Mass every day, she’s never missed a single day. She belongs to the Altar and Rosary Society at the church and she attends Mass with them.

But now it is her time to relax. As she sits down in her rocker, she pulls her rosary out of her pocket and starts saying her prayers. It’s called “saying the Rosary.” Marie finds this ritual comforting. Sometimes she says some extra prayers from her prayer book. She prayers for all her children, the grown ones that have children of their own, and the two she still has at home. As she gets to the end of her prayers she starts to nod off. It has been a long day.

Marie wakes up with a start and looks at her clock it is four O’clock and she has to check on the Irish Stew she has on the stove and make the crust for the top and then put it in the oven. Luckily, Marie woke up just as the cake was finished baking and it didn’t burn. She can smell the wonderful smell of apples from the applesauce cake.

Marie rises from the rocking chair. It isn’t as easy to get up as it used to be. She puts her rosaries away and walks into the kitchen. The timer has just gone off on the cake that was in the oven and Marie gets her potholders and takes it out of the oven and puts it on the hot plate on the kitchen counter to cool off.

Then she walks over to the counter and gets the ingredients out to make the crust for the stew she has been cooking all day on the stove.

Irish Stew is usually made with lamb, but Harry doesn’t like lamb. So, Marie always makes it with beef.

The Beef Stew Recipe:

1/4 cup vegetable oil

1 1/4 pounds stew beef, cut into 1-inch pieces

6 large garlic cloves, minced

8 cups beef stock or canned beef broth1 tablespoon sugar

1 tablespoon dried thyme

1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce

2 bay leaves

2 tablespoons (1/4 stick) butter

1 large onion, chopped

2 cups 1/2-inch pieces peeled carrots

2 tablespoons chopped fresh parley

1 can of small potatoes (already peeled)

Preparation

Heat oil in a heavy large pot over medium-high heat. Keep the burner on low. Add beef and sauté until brown on all sides, about 5 minutes. And sauté 1 minute. Add beef stock, sugar, thyme, Worcestershire sauce, and bay leaves. Stir to combine. Bring mixture to boil. Reduce heat to medium-low, then cover and simmer for 1 hour, stirring occasionally.

Meanwhile, melt butter in another large pot over medium heat. Add potatoes, onion, and carrots. Sauté vegetables until golden, about 20 minutes. Add vegetables to beef stew. Simmer uncovered until vegetables and beef are very tender, about 40 minutes. Discard bay leaves. Tilt pan and spoon off fat.

Recipe for the Stew Crust  

And while the stew is simmering Marie makes the crust for the top of the stew.

1¼ cups all-purpose flour plus more for dusting your work surface

¼ tsp salt

6 tbsp unsalted butter and cut into 1/2 “cubes

2 tbsp chilled shortening and cut into ½ cubes

5 tbsp ice water

Using a dry ingredient measuring cup, add the flour to the mixer

Add the salt and then the chilled butter and shortening.

Cut the fat into the flour.  The butter should resemble small frozen peas.

Add the ice water, 1 tbsp at a time, just until a ball form.  Immediately stop mixing.

Remove the dough from the mixer bowl and using your thumbs, for a disc.

Enclose the dough in plastic wrap and place in the refrigerator for 1 hour.

On a lightly floured counter/surface, place the dough.  Try not to handle the dough too much, to prevent the butter pieces from melting.

You’ll need to roll out the dough to about 3 to 4 inches greater than the inside diameter of the pan.

Try and roll the dough out in a few ‘rolls’ as possible. Repeated rolling will overwork the dough, and will yield less flakey crust.

To transfer the dough to the pot, fold one half over, then fold over again into a quarter. Gently place onto the top of the large stew pot and then unfold the dough. Trim the edges with scissors.

Use your fingers to flute the edges.  Your pie dough is now ready for baking! And then bake in the oven until the crust is golden brown. Bake at 350 degrees for one hour or until the crust is golden brown.

Marie gets the large bowls, dishes and knives, and forks out for dinner and large spoons for the kids. At the last moment, she remembers to put salt and pepper on the table and bread. God, forbid she forgets the bread.

Marie sits down and has another cup of coffee; this is a quiet part of her day. She thinks about what she will cook tomorrow. About a half-hour goes by and Marie hears Susan coming in and slamming the front door behind her. “Susan what have I told you about slamming the door?”

“Sorry Mom, I always forget. Oh, Mom, I forgot to tell you earlier but after Mr. Mc Elliot looked at my drawings, he asks me what I wanted to be when I grew up.”
“What did you say, Susan?”
“I said I wanted to be an artist or a veterinarian.”

“Really, that’s wonderful.”

“Susan, could you take the newspapers off the floor for me. The floor is probably dry by now.”

“Sure, Mom. Can I watch Popeye after that?”

“Yes, after you pick up the newspaper.”

“OK, Mom.”

“I’ll call you for dinner, Susan.”

“Thanks, Mom. I love Irish Stew Mom. Thanks for making it. It’s my favorite.”

“I know it is Susan, that’s why I make it.”

At five o’clock sharp Susan’s twin sister arrives with a bang at the front door.”

Marie yells out, “Karen, I told you a million times not to slam the door.”

“Sorry, Mom. Is dinner ready? What are we having?”

“Irish Stew. Can you tell Susan that dinner is ready?”

Then she screams at the top of her lungs, Susie, dinner’s ready.”

“What did I tell you about yelling?”

“Sorry, Mom.”

And then the three of them have a delicious Irish Stew dinner. Harry is working the second shift this week, so he isn’t having dinner with them.

“That was great Mom,” said Susan and her sister in unison.

“Ok, why don’t you go do your homework.”

Susan says, do I have to do it now?”

“Yes, you do. If you get done before it’s dark you can go outside and play for a while.”

“OK, Mom.”

Marie starts clearing the table and washing the dishes, then she dries them and puts them away. She puts the leftover stew in a container on the counter to cool off before she stores it in the refrigerator. She wipes down all the countertops and the stove and the front of the oven.

She decides to read the newspaper in the living room, when Harry is home, she isn’t able to read the paper until he is finished with it. But for now, she can take all the time she wants to read it. Marie brings a cup of coffee to the dinner table and sits down. It always feels so good to get off her feet and relax. Marie reads the comics first as she sips her hot coffee, black with plenty of sugar. She takes a deep breath and relaxes.

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PART 2- ON THE WALK BACK TO GLAMPING CAMPING

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Joe and Frieda are hiking at a fairly fast clip and Kathie‘s getting a little out of breath since she already walked quite a distance. “Hey, you guys would you mind taking a short break before we make the rest of the hike back to the camp. I’m kind of bushed?”

“What? Of course not, no problem. I know a place up ahead about a quarter of a mile where we can rest on the beach near a gorgeous lake and cool off. What do you think? Would you like to do that? They also have a cabana there where you get a cold drink and some snacks. How’s that sound?”

“That sounds great, I would love to sit on the beach and have a cold drink. Let’s go for it.”
“Awesome, we could even take a dip in the lake and cool off. We went swimming there yesterday. And the water was so clear, you can see straight to the bottom of the lake. I’m sure you’ll love it.”

“Oh Frieda, I don’t have my bathing suit on under my clothes.”

“Oh, that’s not going to be a problem, don’t worry about it.” After about twenty minutes Kathie can hear people talking and laughing. The closer they got to the lake the louder the voices got louder. She doesn’t hear any kids yelling or playing.

“Oh, here we are Kathie, we know some of the people that are here because we come camping here almost every summer. I think you’ll love them as such open-minded and fun-loving people. I know you’ll love them, Kathie.”

Kathy can see the lake now, and it does look beautiful. “Wow, this is wonderful. No kids here, huh? That’s not a bad thing, it’s just that all the beaches I’ve been to in New Jersey were swarming with families and kids of all ages.”

“Oh, I guess I forgot to mention this is an adult beach only. But there are other lakes here that are family beaches, but all of them are clothing optional. I would have said something before, but most people know that before they come here. Although I guess Glamping Clamping doesn’t advertise it.”

“You’re kidding, I had no idea.” As Kathie looks up and down the beach, she sees that about one-half the people are wearing bathing suits and the other half, nothing. She decides that it doesn’t really bother her that much and plops down on the beach. “Well, I never went to a nude beach before, but I guess it’s not a big deal. But I think I’ll have to work up to it. Right now, I think I’ll just go get a cold drink and a snack.”

Kathie was relieved that the guy selling the drinks and snacks was wearing swimming trunks. “Hi, could I get a tall ice tea with ice?”

“Sure, coming right up. Is this the first time you came here to Glamping Camping? I don’t remember seeing you here before?”

“Yep, first time, turns out this is going to be my first time doing a lot of things here.”

The waiter chuckled, and said, “don’t worry you’ll get used to it.”

“Yes, I guess you can get used to anything, eventually, Thanks. “

I head back to where my new friends are standing on the beach and I’m somewhat surprised to see them standing in a group of people sans clothing. “Oh boy, here we go. Take a deep breath and keep walking Kathie. I said to myself.

“Oh, here she is now. I was just telling our friends here how we met you on the trail on our way here.’

I smiled and kept my eyes averted. I’m quite sure it is going to take me more than a little while to get used to talking to total strangers who are naked. “Oh hello, everyone, it’s so nice to meet you all. I was lucky to run into Joe and Freida this morning since I lost my way for a little bit. I never had a great sense of direction.”

Then everyone started introducing themselves to me, one by one. And I said jokingly, “I think it would be a lot easier if you all had name tags and I would remember your names better. Then I blushed, but they all laughed. And then I said, “Or not, LOL.”

Frieda said, “that’s a good one.” And she laughed.

“I think I’ll take a walk around the lake and check it out. It really is beautiful here.”

A young guy about my age asks me, “would you like some company?”

“Ah, yes, sure. I guess.”

“Oh, I’ll be right back I’m going to put on my swimming trunks since I know you are a newbie.”

I just stood there trying to decide if I was alright with the turn of events or if I wanted to run far, far away really fast. I decided to wait for him to return. I took a deep breath and waited. I decided I would wait and tell him I just wasn’t comfortable with the whole clothing-optional lifestyle.

After a couple of minutes, he came towards me. I relaxed as he had put shorts on. I realized I didn’t even know his name.” I’m sorry if Freda told me your name, I seem to have forgotten it all ready.”

“She didn’t. My name is Paul, Kathie. So, let’s take our walk and you can tell me what you’ve been up to so far.”

“Well not much really, I only just arrived a short time ago and after I settled into my little house, I took a hike, and lo and behold I saw a huge black bear up a tree. And it really freaked me out. I started running without really paying attention and got somewhat lost and that’s when I ran into Freda and Joe. And then we came here and I found out this it was a clothing-optional beach. Surprise, surprise, surprise.”

“Actually, you took it pretty well, some people might have run away. I felt awkward when I first came here, but now I don’t even think about the nudity.”

“If you say so, but I think it is something that will take me more than a little while to get used to. “

“You’re fine, don’t worry about it. It’s a choice, like I said, you do whatever you feel comfortable doing.”

“I appreciate that Paul, and I think I’m more of a traditional kind of person and I’m going to stick to swimming with people that wear bathing suits. No judgment, just my own comfort level.”

“Alright, no pressure, but maybe we could get together for lunch before you leave?”

“Thanks, but I already have my week planned out, it was nice meeting you, take care.”

The look on his face was heartbreaking really, but I turned and start walking away all the same. I felt bad if I hurt his feelings. But before I took this trip, I decided I was going to start listening to my inner voice and not to everyone around me. I felt proud that I was able to speak up for myself, but I felt a little guilty for hurting him.

I start hiking towards my little house and believe it or not I arrive there relatively unscathed and intact. I walk over to my little house and decide to take a shower and then a nap. It’s only about one 0’clock in the afternoon, but it had been a long day of traveling and hiking and weird experiences.

As I approach my little house, I can’t help but notice that the door is wide open. I walk slowly up to the door and peek in. I think well maybe housekeeping is in there? Nope, can’t be that I just arrived and it doesn’t need cleaning. Maybe, someone broke in and stole my belongings. Well, I had my wallet with me, and I didn’t bring any jewelry with me. Well, maybe a plumping problem?

I’m afraid to walk in so I just stick my head inside the door and I can’t help but notice that there is something or someone lying on top of my bed. What the heck is going on. I hear a loud sound, which I realize is snoring. But who or what is it? And then the snorer turns over and I see a hairy black face and I realize there is a hairy black body to go with it.

At first, my mind refuses to accept the reality of what I’m seeing. It is a bear; it is most likely The Bear that I saw earlier in the day up in the tree. What the heck, am I Goldilocks, are there three bears in there. I scream at the top of my lungs and run the fasted I have ever run in my life to the manager’s office.

I am so overwrought and freaked out that once I arrive at the office. I throw open the door and yell at the top of my voice, “BEAR, BEAR, BEAR.  There’s a Bear in my bed in my tiny house.”

The Manger takes his time responding to me, or even looking up. “What, a bear? That’s highly unlikely Miss.”

I scream again, ‘There’s a bear in my bed in my tiny house.”

“Well, I’m sure your mistaken. But, let’s go have a look shall we.”

My heart is beating so hard it feels like it might explode. “OK, that’s my house there, the one with the door wide open and he’s sleeping on my bed.”

“Sleeping on your bed, oh surely you’re mistaken.” If looks could kill this guy would be dear. I’m so mad at him for not taking me seriously.

He is about to walk into the house when I grab his arm and say, “are you insane? He’ll kill you, he’s huge, and by that, I mean HUGE.” He laughs at me and steps in through the doorway. I step back and then I move about ten feet away from the door to the right. If and when this bear comes running out, I don’t want to be in his path.

And that is when I hear the manager screaming, and running in my direction, he is yelling, ‘RUN, RUN, RUN.’

And I run toward the office. The manager is directly behind me, for an old guy he can really move. “GET IN CLOSE THE DOOR. GET IN.” And then he locked the door behind us and we pushed his desk up against it. As we are looking out the door window, we see the bear ambling away, ever so slowly. He’s not in any kind of rush. He swings his huge head in our direction and gives us what looks like a big, toothy grin. And then he heads back towards the woods.

Meanwhile, we are both shaking and out of breath, “dear god, I’ve never been more frightened in my life, he could have killed me with a swipe of his gigantic paw. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.”

“Maybe, I’m overreacting, but I believe that I need a vacation from this vacation. Between naked people swimming in the lake and bears sleeping in my little house, I think it’s time for me to go home.”

“Now miss, please reconsider, this is your first day, I’m sure it was just an aberration.”

“Nope, nope, I’m leaving and I’m sure you will give me a complete refund for this week considering what has happened here today, I’m sure you don’t want me to give you a bad review this early in the season.”

“Of course, no problem if you’re sure you won’t change your mind.”

“I’m sure, could you please walk me over to the tiny house so I can gather my belongings safely?”

“Yes, of course.”

He stuck his head out of the door and looked to the right and the left. No sign of the bear. “Looks like the coast is clear, let’s go.”

When we got back to my tiny house the door was all but torn off the hinges. We peeked in the door, and the bear was gone. “You first.” And he stepped into the room. The room looked like a cyclone had hit it. My clothes were strewn all over, the mattress was on the floor, as were the sheets, pillows, and quilt. “Good grief.”

“Ok, well, I’m just going to use the ladies’ room, gather all my belongings, could you please go back to the office and get my refund ready?”

“Yes, of course, I’m sorry this all happened. I hope in the future you might come again.”

I laughed and laughed. Then I went into the bathroom and took care of my business, gathered all my stuff, came back to the bedroom threw all my clothes in my suitcase. I took a good look around to make sure I didn’t miss anything. I put my stuff in the trunk of my car and drove it over to the manager’s office. He was waiting for me.

“Here’s a copy of the credit I applied to your credit card, I’m so sorry this happened. I can’t apologize too much. This sort of thing has never happened before.”

“Well, I say this for you. I have had a short but intense vacation. One that I will never forget. And I’m sure sometime in the distant future I’ll be able to laugh about this experience. But not today. Goodbye.

On the way home I thought, how will I ever top this vacation. And I headed back towards Route 9 and home.

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Dream Vacation – Day ONE-Glamping in Cape May

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This is my first vacation in ten years. I have been counting the days for the last six months. Kind of like when I was a kid when I used to count the days until Christmas. As “The” Day comes closer my excitement and anticipation are so great I feel as if my head or my heart might explode.

Little House

I‘m having a difficult time deciding on a vacation location. There are so many to choose from, literally thousands. The last time I went on vacation was to Atlantic City. I had to attend a work convention there. So, it wasn’t strictly a vacation since I had to attend meetings five out of seven days that I was there. But the added benefit was that I could spend almost every evening in the Casinos.

The convention was being held at the Borgata Casino and Hotel. The first night I won $900.00 on the roulette wheel, unfortunately. I say unfortunately because I was hooked once I won that $900.00 And every chance I had I was spinning that wheel of fortune. And the only time I saw the ocean was when I took a tram or walked the boardwalk to the next casino. I didn’t even come home with even a hint of a tan. What I did come back to was an empty bank account and maxed out all t my credit card cash advances. It took me three years to pay down the debt.

I’m having a hard time deciding what to do and where to go. I only have a week off so it can’t be too far away and my budget limits me as well. And I want to do something totally out of my comfort zone. I finally decide to go camping in the woods by myself. I live in New Jersey and I’ve decided to camp in Cape May, which is the southernmost point of New Jersey. I found the perfect place to camp. The newest trend in camping is called glamping at a location not so cleverly named GLAMPING-CAMPING in Cape May.

Bear in a Tree

Glamping is camping only with creature comforts. Each brand-new Tent or little house features a queen-size bed and ceiling fans and an air conditioner or a heater if you go during the cold months. It’s not unlike a hotel room, each tent or house has a small refrigerator, coffee maker, and microwave. Outside, there is a small deck, grill, picnic table, and chairs.

I want to experience the great outdoors for sure, but let’s not get carried away. I hate mosquitoes, so I want no part of them. I’m not big on showering in a big room with strangers. So, I’ll be showering in a single shower that provides all the creature comforts like, soap, hot water, towels, mirrors, and toilets with privacy. I’m not much for letting it all hangout. If you catch my drift.

Anyway, I’m really jazzed about the whole trip, a change of scenery, the ocean, the beach, the ocean breeze, the sunrise over the ocean. I dig it all, can’t wait.  It’s going to be a blast. As long as there aren’t any horse flies or mosquitoes. I detest biting insects.

So, in ten days I’ll be there not only in my imagination but for reals, people, for reals.

Oh, I have to find someone to take care of my fish. I better put that down on my “to-do list” right now before I forget. I don’t want to come home to find my beautiful fish floating upside down. That would be a tragedy I might not survive intact.

Today is the day, I’m so excited I wasn’t able to sleep all last night. Everything is packed in the trunk of my car. I checked and rechecked my whole list. I don’t want any unpleasant surprises. As soon as I shower and get dressed, I’ll be on my way to Cape May.

Oh, that reminds me of something that happened to me one time when I went shopping at the craft store. When I got in line to pay the cashier, I heard someone singing really loud “On the way to Cape May, I fell in love with you.” As I got closer to the front of the line, I realized it was the cashier. She was singing,” On the way to Cape May, I fell in love with you”. She wasn’t humming it. She was singing it out loud with facial expressions, and swaying back and forth, and doing a little two-stepping too. It was weird, but somehow everyone that was in her line left smiling and in a better mood. The cashier seemed to be totally unaware that she was doing anything unusual.

In honor of that singing cashier, I sang, “On the Way to Cape May, I fell in love with you”, for a good hour. I’m really jazzed. I absolutely, positively know this is going to be an experience I’ll never forget. It is about an hour and a half drive from where I live to Cape May. All I see for miles and miles on Route 9 are trees and the occasional pick-up truck zooming by me at the speed of light.

According to my GPS,  Glamping Camping is only minutes away. Seven days of fresh air, sunshine, and solitude. Hiking, swimming, and canoeing at a lake within walking distance to the Tiny House I rented for the week.

And finally, here I am at Glamping Camping. I pull in through the front entrance and park outside of the main office. As I enter the office, I see a man in his mid-fifties standing behind the desk. “Hello, can I help you?”

“Yes, my name is Katherine O’Connor I have a reservation for a week in one of your tiny houses. I can’t tell you how much I have been looking forward to this vacation. I just know it’s going to give me a new lease on life. I haven’t had a vacation in ten years. I’m so looking forward to the quiet, the solitude, the fresh air, the water, the ocean. Just all of it. Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to go on and on.”

“No problem we have been looking forward to your arrival today, and you should find everything in the house that you need. My name is Bill Anderson, I’m the manager. Here is a pamphlet with a list and schedule of all the activities available at Glamping Camping. Here is some information regarding local food stores, pharmacies if needed, and directions to the Cape May area and all the activities available there. If you’ve never been there before you will be more than pleased, I know. Here’s your key to the house, if there are any problems just pick up the phone and call the office. Someone is here twenty-four seven.”

“Thank you, I look forward to a wonderful stay here. I think I’ll unload my car and take a walk around the grounds and maybe take a swim in the lake later this afternoon.”

I drive my car a short distance to the area where the tiny houses are located. I’ve seen pictures of them but I’ve never seen one in person. And it is tiny but more than enough room for me. The bed is queen size and there is a tiny bathroom with a sink, toilet and shower, and towel rack. The kitchen is in the same room it consists of a sink, two cabinets, and a microwave, and a small refrigerator.

I step out the front door and I see seating for two and a table with a sun umbrella. Around the back of the house, there is a barbeque. It looks clean as a whistle. I don’t see many people around they must be out enjoying the woods, or the lake, or maybe they drove to Cape May to eat lunch or go to the beach. I can’t wait to do the same. So far, I’m impressed.

I decide to get my suitcase and supplies and put them in the house and put on some more suitable clothing for a hike in the woods. It is such a beautiful day sunny and warm with a slight breeze, perfection really. After I put my things away, I look at the pamphlet to see the best area to start hiking within the camp.  I see it is only a short distance away. I put on sunscreen and spray myself with bug spray. One thing I know for sure if you’re going in the woods be prepared for biting insects.

I start walking down a path that has an arrow pointing to it. I walk for about fifteen minutes without meeting anyone along the way, but I can hear some voices in the distance. But I don’t see anyone. It’s absolutely wonderful here, quiet, except for the birds singing in the trees above me. And somewhere not too far away I hear water so there must be a stream or perhaps a lake nearby. I decide to head that way. Now I wish I had worn my bathing suit under my clothes.

I keep heading in the direction of the sound of water. I walk about another thirty minutes. The terrain is getting more challenging. I am getting a little out of breath. I realize that I can’t hear the water any longer. I must have taken a wrong turn somewhere along the way. I feel a little nervous. I don’t have a great sense of direction.  I decide to turn back in the direction I came from before I really get lost.

I hike for another half hour or so, I’m really tired. I have to admit I’m out of shape. My job is sedentary. And I avoid the gym like the plague. But I do love to walk and hike whenever I can. I see a clearing ahead. I hope I find some fellow glampers. I know I must be headed in the right direction if other people are there.

Finally, I hear some noise up ahead and I run in that direction. I’m not sure why I’m running. And then I arrive and I still hear a kind of rustling noise. But I don’t see anyone. I do see a large lake and in the distance on the other side of the lake, I see some people paddling a canoe. I wave like crazy at them. They see me and wave back.

I hear the rustling noise again it seems to be coming from a tree up ahead. I can’t imagine what it could be. I don’t hear any talking. It sounds something like branches being moved. Maybe someone is gathering wood to start a campfire? I keep walking towards the sound. I’m now standing directly under the tree. I hear the noise. I step back to see if there is anything up there.

And low and behold there is a bear up in the tree. And I’m not talking teddy bears here, it is a giant bear at least a hundred and fifty pounds or more. I yell at the top of my lungs,” holy crap.” And then I clap my hands over my mouth the bear is now looking directly at me. Dear god, I think, my first vacation in then years I’m going to get mauled and eaten by a bear on my first day. I don’t know what I should do, run like hell, or slowly back away or wait and see if the bear is going to get down the tree and go on his merry way.

I decide to watch him for a minute or so and see if he is going to descend the tree. I stare up there until I start getting a crick in my neck. The bear is stretching out and making himself comfortable up there. I decide my best course of action is to back away quietly until I’m out of his range of sight. I back away and back away some more. I don’t see or hear the bear running after me. So, I start walking faster and faster until I am full out running and I don’t stop until I feel I left him far behind me.

I’m so exhausted I decide I need to rest for a few minutes. And I think, why oh why didn’t I bring some water with me. I keep moving forward, but every once in a while I turn and look back. And then I hear some voices ahead of me. I head toward the comforting sound of human voices.

Suddenly, I hear someone say, “Hey, was that you yelling a few minutes ago? Are you alright?”

“Yes, I’m alright. I just had a somewhat disturbing experience that’s all.”

A man and woman in their late thirties walk toward me. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost or something, what happened?”

“Well, I was hiking and I got a little turned around and ended up near a big lake and there was a huge, absolutely huge black bear in the tree up ahead of me. I didn’t know what to do. The only wild animals I’ve seen before were squirrels and an occasional bunny. It was a shocking experience.”

“You saw a black bear, wow you are lucky. I had heard that there was an increasing number of bears in the area especially since it is Summer. What did you do?”

“Well, as you heard I screamed like a banshee first and then I calmed down and slowly backed away. The bear saw me but just continued to lie up in that tree. And I backed away slowly until I put some distance between us, and then I ran like a bat out of hell. I was terrified.”

The two of them laugh and then I laugh. “Well, all things considered, it was an exciting beginning to my vacation and it will be a great story to tell everyone when I get back home.”

“You’re right, it will be. All the same, I think I would avoid going back there in the near future you don’t want to test your luck. By the way, what’s your name? Our names are Joe and Freida Melony. We just got here today. We’re staying for the week. “

“My name is Katherine O’Connor. But everyone calls me Kathie. I’m here for the week too.”

“Well, Kathie O’Connor I’m glad to meet you. Why don’t you walk back with us, do you have any plans for dinner tonight? We were thinking of heading into Cape May and going out to dinner, would you like to join us?”

“You know I would like to join you that sounds like fun.”

“So, Kathie while we walk back to the campgrounds why don’t you tell us about yourself.”

“Really, well this is the first vacation I’ve taken in ten years. So, it looks like it’s taken off with a bang. I expect this vacation is going to be a whole lot of fun and unexpected surprises.”

“Yes, it does, doesn’t it? Continue while we walk, look out ahead the path is a little bumpy up ahead. Wouldn’t want you to take a fall.”

“Thanks, from now on I’ll keep my eyes wide open.”

PART 2- NEXT WEDNESDAY

 

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