Monthly Archives: December 2023

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

I am taking a week off from writing Dear Followers this week. Please feel free to go to WRITE ON website and read any of my nearly three hundred stories and memoirs. Best Wishes and Happy New Year, Susan A. Culver

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The Christmas Spirit

Christmas time is here again. At my age, it seems difficult to summon up the Christmas spirit.

Maple Shade, NJ Christmas 1960’s

But when I was a child, it was a different story. I remember the days leading up to Christmas seemed to go by at a snail’s pace. I would ask my mother every day, “How many more days until Christmas, Mom?

She answered, “One less than when you asked me yesterday. Now, why don’t you go find something to do and keep yourself busy.”

I know if I kept bugging her, she’s going to find something for me to do. “OK, Mom, I think I’ll take a walk. I’ll be back in a little while.”

I decided to walk downtown and look in the windows of the stores. We live in a little town in Southern New Jersey called Maple Shade. And all the stores are decorated for Christmas. We even have a Christmas parade. And Santa Clause takes a ride all over town in the fire truck. And he throws candy to all the kids that are lined up on the sidewalks. All my friends and I walked down the pike on Main Street to see it yesterday. We had such fun. It was really cold outside, so we all had our winter coats on and hats and gloves and snow boots. Because the day before yesterday, we got over a foot of snow.

As I walked down the street, I noticed that the repair shop had a TV in the window, and it was playing It’s A Wonderful Life with Jimmy Stewart. I’ve seen this story before, but all the same, I stand there and watch it for quite a while. I can’t hear the sound, of course, but I know most of the dialogue anyway since I’ve seen it so many times. I decided to walk down to the Five & Dime Store to look at all the cool toys in the window. I asked Santa for a Barbie doll. I hope I get one.

The Christmas Lights along Main Street are beautiful. Of course, they look better when it’s dark out. The volunteer firemen drove up and down Main Street in their Fire Trucks and put up the lights and the Christmas Wreaths with big red bows on them the week before Thanksgiving. I watched them. The Rexall Drug Store is next to the Five & Dime Store. They have a display with a train set riding around on the train tracks with little houses and churches and trees and tiny little people walking around. There is even a little dog in the front yard of one of the little houses. At least, I think it’s a dog, but it’s hard to tell because it is so little. Above the houses, Santa is flying through the air with his reindeer, including Rudolph with his red nose. There’s a little stream of smoke coming out of the smokestack of the train engine. I wish we had one of those going around our tree.

I walk down to the bakery and look in their window. There are so many delicious-looking cakes in the window. My stomach starts growling really loud. My mother says I have a sweet tooth. I’m not sure what that means. But I really do love candy and cake. I hope I get some candy canes in my Christmas stocking and some chocolate kisses with red and green foil wrapped around them. Oh, how I would love to have an éclair too. My mother is making a cake for Christmas. She is a really good baker. I hope she makes a vanilla cake with shredded coconut on it. I really do love coconut. Oh, I almost forgot that every Christmas, my mother makes a giant tin of Christmas cookies. She puts the cookie dough in a cookie press, squeezes out these cookies in all kinds of shapes, and puts different colored sprinkles on them. I always find where she hides the cookie tin in the cellar, and I eat a whole bunch of them before Christmas gets here.

As I’m walking down Main Street, I see a police car coming in my direction. The car pulls over, and I hear the policeman calling out my name and saying, “Merry Christmas, Susie.”

I walk over to the curb, and I see it is Mr. Lombardi, our next-door neighbor. He is a policeman in our town. “Merry Christmas, Officer Lombardi,” I scream at the top of my voice. And then he waves again and drives away.

I continue walking down the street, and I see a couple of kids from school. I hear them yelling, “Hey Susie, do you want to go and play behind the church?”

“Sure,” I say. When I caught up with them, I saw it was my friend Helen and Ann Marie.

“What were you up to, Susie?”

“Nothing, just walking downtown and looking in all the store windows. What do you guys want to do?’

“We were just going behind the church and seeing who is playing in the snow out there. Are you getting anything good for Christmas, Susie?”

“I don’t know what I’ll get, but I asked for a Barbie doll and some art supplies. How about you guys? What did you ask for Christmas?”

“I ask for two games, Operation and Twister. I love games, said Ann Marie. “

“I ask for an Easy-Bake oven. said, Helen.”

“Oh, that sounds like fun.”

We rounded the corner at Main Street and Fellowship Road, and I said, “Let’s have a race to the pump house behind the church. Ready, set, go.”

And we all ran as fast as we could. And at the last minute, I slipped on an icy spot and fell flat on my back. Ann Marie and Helen ran up to me and said all at once,” Are you alright?”

“Yes.” I manage to say, even though the wind really got knocked out of me.

“Ok, then I bet I can beat you to the pump house Helen yells.” And before I even got up from the icy sidewalk, they were running at top speed to the pump house. I scramble up and start running as fast as I can. I was just about to catch up with them when I heard them yelling, “We beat you; we beat you.”

All the same, I kept running, and before you knew it, I was scrambling up the side of the pump tower to the top along with them. There were a whole lot of kids from Our Lady of Perpetual Help school there and some of the public-school kids too. And they were climbing up hills of snow and sledding across the parking lot. We laughed hard, and the air was so cold I could hardly breathe. I don’t know how long I stayed out there. But I knew by the time I heard my mother yelling, “Susie, it’s time to come home. It was starting to get dark outside. What a day it was, what a day!

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As The Crow Flies

I woke up abruptly this morning. I heard something tapping on my bedroom window. I tried to ignore it for quite a while. I put my pillow over my head. I plug my ears. The noise is relentless. My bedroom is on the second floor. So, really, who could be knocking on the window? A window washer, Superman, and a drone. Oh no, perhaps it’s a second-story man.  All highly unlikely suspects. I toss and turn and try to fall back to sleep. No luck; I’m wide awake. And once that happens, I have to get up. I  walk over to the window and throw open the curtains.

CROW by Capri 23auto

I’m startled. I see a Crow with bright, black eyes staring back at me. He begins tapping on the window. Tap,   tap. Tap. I tap back. Tap.  Tap. Tap. He’s hanging on the screen.  “Hello,” I yell loudly. He opens his beak wide. I believe he might be saying hello back to me.  I smile. He opens his beak again. And then tap.  Tap, tap. What does it mean? He flies away and lands in the Dogwood Tree that I planted next to my Koi pond last year. It’s just now beginning to bloom—my favorite tree.

I’ve always been very fond of birds. I think you might call it some kind of harmless obsession. I’m a painter, and almost all my paintings have birds in them.  I spend a great deal of time in my garden, planting flowers that will attract birds, butterflies, and bees. I have nesting boxes and bird feeders all over my yard.

But all that is beside the point.  I have enjoyed my momentary interaction with the Crow. Since I’m awake, I decide to get an early start on my day. I dress, go into my studio, and continue working on my latest painting. Several pleasant hours pass by. I notice a growling noise. It’s my stomach; I realize that it’s nearly lunchtime, and I haven’t eaten anything yet today.

I rummage around inside my frig and decide to heat some vegetable soup. That I made yesterday, it’s a gorgeous sunny Spring day. I choose to go outside to my screened porch and eat my soup and crackers. I take a deep breath. The air is sweet and fresh.

I so enjoy watching the birds fly from one feeder to another. There are six Cardinals at the feeder next to the back fence. I notice that a Blue Bird and her mate are building a nest inside the Blue Birdhouse. I smile. What could be better than this? I look forward to seeing them raise a family there. Spring, by far, is my favorite season. It inspires hope when the earth wakes up from its wintery sleep. It inspires hope, as all new beginnings do.

As I sit on my porch, I think, what could be better than this? I finish my soup, and I must admit it’s delicious. Nothing tastes better than something made from vegetables that you grow in your garden from seed. As I’m about to go back to the house, I notice a crow in the cul-de-sac. He’s standing in the middle and is bowing over and over again. Four crows are walking in a circle around him. It looks so absurd that I burst out laughing. I wonder if he’s the same crow that was taping on my window early this morning. Perhaps he’s the King of the Crows.

The next morning, I’m still fast asleep. And I hear a tapping noise once again. I groan and look over at the clock. It’s 6:45 am. I pull my pillow over my head so as not to hear the tapping. It’s relentless. I can still hear it. Tap.  Tap. Tap. I throw my legs over the side of the bed and walk over to the window. And Pull the curtains aside. And behold, it’s the King of Crows. Once again, I tapped on my bedroom window. As I study him, I realize that he isn’t the uniform black that I first observed. He had a light violet on his torso. And his wings were a fantastic, greenish-blue.

“What? What are you trying to tell me? Please stop waking me up so early in the morning. I realize he can’t hear me through the closed window. I open it up slightly. He begins to caw loudly. I still don’t understand what he wants me to do. I decided to do some research on Crows that will enlighten me on this behavior.

The next morning, I woke up bright and early. I wonder if the Crow will tap at my window. I’m somewhat disappointed when he doesn’t arrive. I get up and walk over to the window. I pull one of the curtains back just far enough to the lookout. My crow is hanging on the window screen.  He looks directly at me. I see his beak opening up wide. I know he‘s cawing at me. I decided that this is just his way of saying Good morning or hello. I laugh. He opens his beak again.

He flies away, and I  watch as he lands once again in the middle of the cul-de-sac. Four crows fly down from the forty-foot evergreens on the opposite side of the cul-de-sac. They form a circle around him once again, and he bows as they circle him. I open the window, and I hear him cawing. The four other crows join in. It’s a mysterious ceremony. I feel a compulsion to join in. I know it’s absurd, but still, I want to do it. Perhaps I was a crow in a former life? Then I say out loud, “former life, I’m losing it. I’m going off the deep end.” I’m spending too much time alone in my studio. I need to get out more. See more people, join in. Go to the gym. Something.

I ended up going to the library and researching Crows. I know I can find information about them online. But then I wouldn’t be getting out of the house, would I? And I would also miss going to my favorite place in the world, the library. Yes, that’s right, the library. I have memories of a lifetime of experiences within the walls and between the stacks at my childhood library, the library in my college, and, of course, my local library. The bastion of knowledge, a literary jackpot. The somewhat cheesy smell and touch of old books and ink on paper. The oily residue of a hundred hands.  Old books have their history. How many people have touched the pages and digested the words? The possibilities are endless. For me, it is a sanctuary, a respite. Yes, even nirvana.

I decided I should approach the research librarian. I’m somewhat ambivalent, though I have a fierce love of the library and its contents. I fear the librarians. It has been my experience that librarians are not social creatures. I believe they each chose this calling because they don’t care about interacting with their fellow human beings. And that is precisely why they chose this line of work. Because they mistakenly thought, they would spend their entire working lives with their beloved books. But alas, no. They soon realized that they would be interacting with people. Beings capable of disrupting the quiet. They might become noisy, even boisterous at times. And god forbid dogearing the pages and, most hideous of all, desecrating these sacred volumes by marking the pages.

I stealthily approach the research librarian’s desk. She has her head down. Several ancient-looking tomes are open on her desk, and she’s running her index finger along the line of printed words. She is scrupulously not to touch the page lest oil from her hands mar its precious surface. I consider telling her to use finger cots, but I imagine she might slap me for making such a crude suggestion. As if I might be suggesting she use a condom.

“Excuse me,” I say in a voice hardly louder than a whisper. “Excuse me.” No response. I clear my throat several times. Nothing. I say in a somewhat louder tone, “Hello, madam, could you please help me? I need some assistance. I wish there were a bell on the desk. But no such luck. I imagine she may stroke out if I did ring a bell. She slowly raises her head. She gives me a cold, dead stare. Her eyes are pinned on me. I fear she might make a sudden move and attack me in some way.

“Yes.”

I smile my very friendliest smile. One that I reserve for dogs and babies. A smile that rarely fails to ingratiate me. It does not affect her. She continues to stare. It’s unnerving; I decide to jump in and spill it all out at once. “Could you please help me find information about the crows that live in this section of the country?”

She begins by typing rapidly on her computer. I wait patiently. After no more than a minute, she says, ”Corvus brachyrhynchoz, American Crow. Common to this area.”

“Can you tell me if you have any books in this library that I can take home to study?”

She accesses her computer once again. “No, not here. But I can put in a request from one of our other branches. If you give me your library card and contact information, I will notify you when we receive it at this branch. She slides me a form to fill out. I quickly do so. Then, she writes down some numbers on another paper and says abruptly, “Here, go to the stacks listed on this paper, and you will find several books on birds that inhabit North Carolina. They’re reference books, but you can copy pages that interest you.”

She puts her head down; I’m dismissed. And I have disappeared from her conscious thoughts. I count my lucky stars. I came away from this interaction relatively unscathed. I look at the call numbers for the books. And I’m off to the reference section of the library. I notice that my teeth are clenched and my shoulders are hunched. I take several breaths and try to relax. At one time, I had considered becoming a librarian. I can see that I would then have become a clone of this woman. And I don’t know for sure if that would have been a good thing or a bad thing.

I find the books noted on the paper and sit down for several hours immersed in my current obsession, the Crow. It’s fascinating.  I wonder where this experience will take me. I could study this particular species and be done with it. Or perhaps once I read about it, I’ll then want to observe the “Crows” behavior. Or maybe I’ll take it further. There’s no knowing at this point. But I have been down this path before. And have only regretted it once before. Only time will tell.

After spending numerous hours reading about crows, I realized that this would become a long-term project. OK, some may call it an obsession. But I say tomato, tomato—same difference. I would spend the evening creating my strategy, and tomorrow I would begin.

I set my alarm for sunrise. Last night, I studied the research that I gleaned from my visit to the library. It was enlightening, to say the least. Most importantly, I have discovered that Crows are highly intelligent creatures. More intelligent than Parrots. They are capable of making and using rudimentary tools in their pursuit of food. They have phenomenal memories. They can distinguish and remember a human face over a long period, even if they haven’t seen that face for several years.

They are known to band together to mob predators and even humans that they consider a threat for some reason.  They mate for life, and both the male and female and older siblings care for the baby birds communally. And what I found most profound of all is that they mourn the death of a fellow crow, even if it was formerly unknown to them. And it’s at that point I know I have entered the first stage of a full-fledged obsession.  I welcome it. I’m never more complete than when I’m immersed, whether it be a new painting, creating a new garden, or solving a mystery.

Last night, before I retired to my bed, I gathered different types of food that I believe would entice my new avian friend to stay longer at my window. And that I might become better acquainted with him. I had read during my research at the library that Crows are omnivorous. And they will eat whatever food is readily available. That could include anything from vegetables to insects—or even dead animals and garbage.

I collect an assortment of food, from hard-boiled eggs to a spider I captured in my basement. I carefully placed it in a small cup that I attached to the siding underneath my bedroom window.

The following morning, I heard a scratching sound followed by cawing outside of my window. I carefully peek through the curtain. I see my crow studying the food cache I left for him. He’s eyeing it thoroughly, and then he reaches down and gingerly picks up a grape and eats it.  He looks directly at my face and caws. He picks up the piece of boiled egg and flies off with it in his beak. I watch him until he’s no longer in my field of vision.

Later that afternoon, I peeked out the window. And I realize that all the food I left is gone. And in its’ place is something shiny. I shove the window open and pick it up. A small cut stone.  I realize it is an emerald. It looks familiar, somehow. I stare at it. And then it comes to me. It looks just like the emerald that I lost last Spring when I was working in the kitchen garden. I rush over to my jewelry box and pick up the ring that’s missing its stone. I remember how upset I was when I lost it. I looked everywhere for it. It was a birthday gift from my mother on my sixteenth birthday.

My mother passed away last summer. I put the stone in the setting. It fits perfectly. A wave of emotion fills me up, and tears flow out of my eyes. I feel like I have regained a little piece of my mother again. I can’t stop thinking about it for the rest of the day. I think that King Crow and I were somehow ordained to meet. And I’m somehow meant to help him in some way in the future.

About a week later, I enjoyed a bowl of hot oatmeal on my back porch when I heard a loud ruckus. I realized that it was a murder of Crows cawing at a hawk swooping down on a fledgling that was eating seeds on the ground underneath my birdfeeder. I stand up pick up my binoculars, and look at the bird on the ground. It’s a fledgling crow.

I’m finally able to drive off the Hawk by walking around the backyard banging a pot and pan together. After I go back onto the porch, I sit and watch as four crows come down and surround the fledgling. They walk all around him, bobbing their heads. I know he will be safe for now. But I have to come up with a plan to keep the hawk out of my pond and away from the crows.

I decided to create a scarecrow. I‘m going to dress the scarecrow in my old gardening clothes. I know the Crows recognize me and aren’t going to be scared away by a scarecrow, but the hawk would be. My Koi will be safe, and so will King Crow and the fledglings. I go into the garage and begin to build the frame for my scarecrow and put my old clothes on it. I have to admit it looks like a decent facsimile of me. I even put my old straw gardening hat on its head.

As I place the scarecrow near the back fence, I notice that at least a hundred crows are roosting in the trees in the woods behind my fence. They are cawing to one another. Then, one crow flies down and lands on the ground about five feet away from the bird feeder. He watches me with great interest. He doesn’t leave until I start walking away. I look at him and bow, and he bows back. I‘m certain it’s King Crow. He caws loudly, and I caw at him. I walk back to my house and then turn and wave at the crows.  He brought the ring back to me, and I gave him and his fellow crows a haven. It’s. No one will ever convince me of anything different.

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DID THE WALLS HAVE EARS

I have been fascinated by the town of Haddonfield, New Jersey, ever since I attended high school at Saint Mary of the Angels Academy. I graduated in 1969. And after I graduated from St. Mary’s I worked for a high-risk auto insurance company in Collingswood. I rented a small one-bedroom apartment in Haddonfield. It was only a block away from the Haddonfield library and within walking distance of downtown Haddonfield. Some years later, after I was married, my husband and I were looking for a larger house to purchase, and I suggested looking at homes that were located in Haddonfield. And what I found fascinating was the local legend that all the local businesses had relationships with the local ghosts. Of course, I didn’t tell Steven about this. And I kept my fingers crossed. 

Actually, we found one house that we liked, but it needed a great deal of repair. And we decided we couldn’t afford to have all the repairs done. Unless we did the repairs ourselves. In addition, the taxis in Haddonfield were high, very high. We would have to find another way to save money. Steven was going to have to rent an office too.

But then there was the experience we had when we were viewing the large Colonial house we were considering purchasing. How can I begin to explain our experience without coming off as some kind of nut case? Let me start at the beginning. And we had an appointment to meet with our realtor at the house we were considering purchasing. But when we arrived, our realtor wasn’t there. However, there was a note taped to the outside of the front door. It stated, “So sorry I couldn’t wait any longer for you. I’ve left the key in the mailbox so that you can view the house. Keep in mind that this is a house with a great deal of potential but needs work. As I previously explained to you during our last phone conversation.

Please give me a call if you decide you want to make an offer. This house has great potential, it is located in a fantastic neighborhood. And the schools in Haddonfield are top-notch. It is a safe and inviting place to live. The house is located close to the downtown area where you will find a great many wonderful restaurants. Not to mention the beautiful homes in that area. It would be a good investment, and with repairs, this house will eventually be a valuable asset for you. And if you start a family, the schools in Haddonfield are, without a doubt, the best in the area. Give me a call and let me know what you decide to do. Marion Lombardi.

My husband went over to the mailbox and opened it. And low and behold, the keys to the front door were indeed waiting there for us.

Steven put the key into the front door, and with some difficulty, he was able to turn the key and unlock the door. The door creaked open. We took a step forward into the entryway, and we found ourselves looking into what must have been the formal living room. We stepped inside, and to our left was a staircase that looked as if it must have been truly outstanding back in the day. To our right was a brick fireplace with a marble mantlepiece. Above it was a huge mirror that reflected the whole living room.

The floor looked like it was mahogany, but it was in very bad shape as it looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in a very long, long time. On the walls was a blue and silver wallpaper that looked like it had been hanging there for a century or more. And may well have been.

There were double doors between the living room and what we thought might be the formal dining room. It was empty save for what I can only describe as a long bar with a huge mirror behind it. Steven and I looked at one another, and finally, I said, “Why in the world is there a bar in the dining room?

Steven took a look behind the bar, and there wasn’t anything there except dust, years and years of dust. He blew at it, and he was able to see that the top of the bar was beautiful marble. He said, “Wow, I’m sure we could make use of this beautiful marble somewhere in this house.” I just nodded my head, and Steven said, “Kelly, let’s keep looking at the rest of this floor. There was a small pantry with shelves and drawers and a small pantry closet, and we walked through the doorway into a kitchen that looked like we were stepping right into the last century. There was an old, perhaps ancient stove that looked as if it hadn’t been used for decades and white cabinets that were tall and had glass windows. I said, “Oh wow, this kitchen has a great deal of potential.” Steven didn’t respond. So, I said, “Shall we carry on to the second floor?”

“But first, let’s go look out the back door. And see what kind of yard it has. And off we went to the back door. It was locked, and we didn’t have a key for it. And the front door key didn’t fit it. We looked out the back entrance and saw steps that were in bad shape, many bricks were missing, and the hand railing was in place but extremely rusty. The backyard was small, and we could see a two-car garage and a long driveway. There were large trees lining the driveway, and we could see the side of a neighbor’s house behind the trees.

Then we went to investigate the second floor there. When we arrived at the top of the steps, there was a railing to our right and a closed door in front of us. Steven walked over to the door and opened it. It was a bedroom with a large closet. I could see it had great potential. Steven said, “Nice, let’s keep going. The next closed door was just ahead of us. It turned out to be a huge bathroom with black and white tiles on the floor, a large tub with feet, and an empty medicine cabinet. As I looked in the mirror, I saw my reflection, and then, for a moment, I glimpsed another face. It looked like an elderly woman with many wrinkles and white hair that was pulled back into a bun high up on the back of her head. I saw her wink at me. And that is when I let out a blood-curdling scream. Steven said, “What in the world is the matter with you? What are you screaming about?”

I said, “There was a very old woman looking at me in the mirror?”

He said,” What in the world are you talking about” No one else is in the house.“

“I don’t know. It must be my imagination getting away from me again. You know, “a spooky old house and creaky steps. Oh, I don’t know. It’s just that I don’t feel like we are alone in the house. It feels like there are other people here, too.”
“Oh boy, you are letting your imagination get away from you once again.”

“Ok, Ok, that’s enough. Stop making fun of me. But, I promise you, I did see some old woman’s face in the mirror. She had long, grey, and white hair that was up in a bun with a metal clasp. And she had a wrinkled face. She looked ancient, really.”

“Oh brother, you are really letting your imagination get away with you. Let’s keep looking. We walked down the hallway, and to our right was another bedroom twice as large as the first one.” It had floral wallpaper on it. It was faded, but I imagine that once upon a time, a long, long time ago, it must have been beautiful. And some young lady loved it.”

“Let’s continue on, shall we.”

“Yes, let’s continue. As we stepped out the bedroom door we realized that there was a wrong iron gate ahead of us. But luckily, there wasn’t a lock on it. So, we just pushed it out of the way. And we walked into yet another bedroom. It was painted pink. Albeit a faded pink. “Good Lord, pink?”

“Well, maybe it was a baby’s room?”

Then we found a bathroom and a dressing room to the left. It was small but not in bad shape. I thought oh, maybe a bigger mirror. And as I looked in the mirror, I saw the old woman’s face again. She was staring at me so hard I could almost feel it. I screamed, “Good Grief! It’s that old woman again, “Why? Oh, Why? Do weird things always happen to me?

”Did you see her face in the mirror this time?”

“No, dear. I didn’t. You have an active imagination. It is a bit of a spooky house. It is old, and it’s been empty for a long, long time. Maybe it’s just energy that built up here over a hundred years.”

Let’s keep going. And they stepped back into the empty bedroom and towards a closed wooden door. That looked ancient. Steven stepped forward in the doorway. And then he let out a low whistle. “O my god. Would you look at the size of this room?”

I stepped through the doorway and I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was the biggest room I ever saw in any house I had ever seen in my own life. The ceiling had to be fifteen feet high. There was a huge chandelier hanging from the middle of the ceiling. There was a brick fireplace on the back wall. And the window on the opposite side of the room nearly took up the whole side. I could see the top of two trees at the bottom of the outside of the window. There was a bird’s nest on the top, and I could see baby birds being fed by their mother. I made a 365-degree turn around the room. And I just could not get over the sheer size of the space. And all along the walls of the room were bookcases. There was not a single book on the shelf.

“Steven, it would take us a lifetime to fill up these bookcases. It’s bigger than the library where we used to live. This place is simply unbelievable. “ I walked toward the window and saw another window to my left. And I couldn’t believe my eyes but there was a balcony outside the window. And just as I was about to call Steven to come over and look at the balcony, I saw the old woman on the balcony, and she was waving at me. She was wearing a long, long black dress with a white lace collar, and as I stared at her, I realized that her fingernails were very long and were painted a bright red. They were almost glowing. I turned around to get Steven’s attention. “Steven come here, the old lady is out on the balcony. Hurry, hurry.”

Steven nonchalantly walked over and then I heard a gasp come out of him. And he said, “What the…”

“ Steven what is it.”

“It’s the old lady, I saw her. She is standing outside the double doors. She’s on the balcony.”

“I told you, I told you. You never believe me. But, now you saw proof.”

“I guess I did.”

“Well, Kelly let’s get the hell out of here. It’s giving me the creeps.”

“What? You mean you were going to let some ghosts keep you out of this fabulous house? And you know this would be absolutely perfect. You could have a home office right here instead of renting space. That would save you money, wouldn’t it? How about we think about it overnight, and then we can make a decision?”

“OK, but I’m certain, I won’t change my mind. Let’s discuss it again tomorrow. Meanwhile, tomorrow I’m going to go to that library we passed on the way here and do some research.”

The following day, I spent several hours at the local library. What I found out was that many people who are Haddonfield residents or are owners of Haddonfield businesses have a cordial relationship with the local ghosts. Many residents have reported over the years or were aware of that creepy feeling of being watched in their own older homes.

And then one day that I will not forget, I was standing in the biggest bedroom when I heard what sounded like an older man clearing his throat and coughing vigorously. And then I saw smoke and smelled smoke rising up to the chandelier that hung from the fifteen-foot ceiling above me. It really freaked me out and I went downstairs looking for someone else to tell about my experience. But everyone had already left for the day. I thought about calling one of my friends but I knew they wouldn’t believe me. And most likely, they would go around town and tell everyone they knew that I was losing my mind. So, I decided to keep it to myself.

From that day forward I often felt the presence of an unseen person and often smelled the cigar smoke. I decided to keep it to myself. As I continued my research into the people who have lived in the house over the past one hundred or more years, that the most likely life force roaming the house was the original owner who died suddenly from a combination of lung cancer and heart disease. And it was believed by many of the older residence in the area that he still lived within the hallowed walls of the old house. And most likely there lived similar spirits in most of the older homes, especially in the Grove area where the oldest homes resided.

Over time I became comfortable with this belief. In fact, I found some comfort in the thought that I was never really alone. That old soul still visited or even lived permanently within the walls of my historical home. Then one day I woke up feeling fatiqued even though I had fallen asleep early the previous evening. And then I felt a shortness of breath and then a crushing pain in my upper chest. And that was the last thing I remember. And then one overcast day I became aware that I was looking down from the ceiling next to the large chandelier in the center of the ceiling in the large bedroom. And that is when I realized that I, yes, was no longer among the living but was now a spirit that lived within the walls inside my beautiful Victorian home.

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RANCH HOPE SNOWED IN FOR FOUR DAYS

It was 1994 and II was working at Ranch Hope in Alloway, New Jersey. Ranch Hope was, at that time, a residential, Christian residence for boys ages seven through twenty who were in crisis. Ranch Hope has existed since 1964. I began working there as the first female counselor, and as time went on, I was made the assistant supervisor at Ranch Hope at Turrell Cottage. The boys I was responsible for were between the ages of fourteen to eighteen. These boys had been adjudicated by the court to reside at Ranch Hope because of either family difficulties or breaking the law. And it was either Ranch Hope or jail. Ranch Hope was a last-ditch effort to save these kids who came from rough backgrounds and give them a new chance to start over again. Some of the boys ended up living their entire adolescence at Ranch Hope.

At the time I was working a split shift from seven AM in the morning until ll AM. And then went home until my second shift began from 2:30 until 11:30 PM. That is when the night proctor arrived. And he was often late. Sometimes, I didn’t get home until midnight. And the next day I was tired all day.

On that particular day, it started to snow lightly in the morning at first, and then later, heavy snow began to fall about the time the boys were dismissed from school. All the boys attended Strang School, which was a school that was located on the Ranch Hope Campus within walking distance from the cottages. Most of the teachers were anxious to leave that day since the snow was beginning to accumulate rapidly, and they didn’t want to be stuck there overnight.

I wasn’t too concerned at first. Because I thought the snow would slow down as it had recently, and I would be able to go home as usual. But that isn’t what happened. The snow continued to come down heavier and heavier during the day, and by nightfall, there were several feet of snow. I knew there was no way I was going to get home that night. And that I was going to end up sleeping on the lumpy couch in the living room.
After several hours of heavy snow, I knew for sure that I wouldn’t be going anywhere anytime soon. And that was exactly what happened. The night proctor was not able to make his way from his residence to Ranch Hope because the roads had become impassable, and almost impossible to see where you were going. Ranch Hope is located out in the middle of nowhere, and the roads were rarely plowed. There weren’t any street lights on the roads leading in and out of Alloway and the nearly forty-minute drive home. And on this particular night, the roads were unpassable altogether.

The boys were all excited because of the snow and the fact that they wouldn’t have to attend school for several days. Of course there was other staff from the rest of the cottages that were not going to be going home anytime soon either. Fortunately, Ranch Hope had its own cafeteria and kitchen staff that prepared food for the boys and the staff, and it was only a short walk from any of the cottages to the cafeteria.

As the day went by, I knew for sure I was not going to go home anytime soon. But, at least I was in a warm and safe place. What I didn’t realize right away was that the snow wasn’t going to stop anytime soon. In fact, I ended up staying at Ranch Hope for several days. One of the main problems for me was that the rest of the staff who worked in the residential cottages were men. And I, well, I was the only female. So, there weren’t any female facilities like bathrooms, showers, etc.

By the end of the third day, I was feeling uncomfortable since I had been wearing the same clothes for several days, my hair felt dirty, and I didn’t have any other clothes to wear. At this point, I decided to call the staff at Camp Edge. Camp Edge was a place for the boys to camp and learn some life skills outside of their own background, which was mostly inner city, Camden, or worse. Most of these boys grew up in poverty; many were from broken families or families with addiction problems, or their parent or parents were incarcerated. And Ranch Hope was their last chance to redeem themselves before they ended up incarcerated themselves.

I was able to get ahold of the married couple that ran Camp Edge and asked if would be possible for me to come there and get a shower and borrow a change of clothes. Since I didn’t know when I would be able to get home. Meanwhile, I had to find someone to come to Turrell Cottage and watch the boys while I was gone. After finding a staff member to fill in for me at Turrel for an hour or so, I headed slowly on the snow-covered back roads to Camp Edge. I have to say, even though I grew up in New Jersey and learned how to drive in all kinds of weather. It was a bit scary to drive on back roads with several feet of snow, even though some had been plowed at some point in the last several days. They still have a couple of feet of snow I would have driven through, and I wasn’t up for that. So, I stayed put at Turrel Cottage until the roads were cleared for the most part.

Some of the roads that were plowed had melted and frozen over again and again, and they were sheets of ice. I won’t lie, it was scary. I knew if I had an accident there were very few people on these back country roads that would find me. And then I thought, oh, the couple at Camp Edge knew I was coming, and if I didn’t show up, they would come looking for me. Or at least they would know and inform Ranch Hope staff that I never arrived.

But my luck held out, and I slowly made my way to Camp Edge and drove down their rough driveway and up to their house, which was really more of a cabin than a house. But, still, it had heat, and I could take a shower and change clothes, which would be a blessing. They were waiting for me on their front porch and welcomed me into their home. It was so warm and inviting I hated the idea of leaving and going back on the snow covered, icy roads back to Ranch Hope. And I didn’t know how long it would be before the roads were clear enough to go home and get a good night’s sleep in my own warm bed.

After I showered and changed clothes I thanked them and said, “hopefully, the next time I see you I won’t smell to high heavens.” And they laughed. And I got into my car and slowly made my way back to Ranch Hope. When I arrived, all the boys were in the cafeteria eating lunch. And I went in and grabbed something to eat, and sat down at the table with my boys at Turrell Cottage’s table. They were still really worked up and excited by the snow and no school. And they were being rather boisterous, but not for long. Because when they saw me come into the cafeteria, they knew better than to be acting out. I was a kind caretaker, but I stuck to the rules. I took a good look at the boys. And they were all there but spread out over two tables. And I saw a couple of the older kids were working in the kitchen.

In fact, all the boys, after they had been there for some time, were given jobs if they were being compliant in the cottage and in the school. They were given the opportunity to work and earn money. And if they earned enough points, they would allowed to go on outings. At some point, when the roads cleared up and it was safe to travel, they would be able to go out to the Malls in the area and speed some of their hard-earned money. I won’t lie. Sometimes, some of the boys would try hard to do the right thing, but other times, they tried to sneak around and do things that they weren’t allowed to do. And they would lose points and privileges. And they wouldn’t be able to go off campus or even out of the cottage if they were out of compliance with the rules.

About a day and a half later, I was able to go home, take a day off, and catch up on my sleep. I decided that from then on out, I would bring a change of clothes with me just in case. I worked several more years at Ranch Hope, and although it could be stressful working there, I loved it. And I came to love all those boys. Even the difficult ones. I think it was one of the most rewarding yet stressful jobs I ever had. I can only hope that I helped those boys through a challenging time in their lives. They learned some self-control and came to understand that they were in charge of making their lives and their futures flourish or fail. It was up to them. Over the course of my working life, which started when I was seventeen and extended into my early sixties, Ranch Hope was the job I loved the most and the one that has held many good and bad memories. But, the job that I will always be proud of was the one in which I hope I guided young boys to turn into men with a conscience that knew right from wrong. And to make it their business to treat all people with care and concern and good will.

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