Monthly Archives: October 2024

FALL IS THE SEASON

Fall in New Jersey at our previous home

Fall weather is a balance between summer’s heat and winter’s cold, with cool mornings and warm afternoons. The cooler temperatures are good for your health, and fall is also less humid than other seasons.

Fall weather is a balance between summer’s heat and winter’s cold, with cool mornings and warm afternoons. The cooler temperatures are good for your health, and fall is also less humid than other seasons.

It was the last fall that I had experienced for a long time. I grew up in New Jersey and lived there until I was twenty-two. That is when I moved to Florida. Fall was my absolute favorite time of the year. The long, hot, and humid Summer was over. And I looked forward to the cooler weather. And, I so looked forward to the changing of leaves on the trees. Of course, moving to Florida meant no more wonderful fall weather and no more changing of the trees to fall’s beautiful orange and yellow colors.

When I was a child, I absolutely loved Summertime. The main reason was that I no longer had to attend school. I attended Catholic grade school at Our Lady of Perpetual Help Elementary School for eight years in Maple Shade, NJ. Then I attended St. Mary of the Angel’s Academy Catholic High School in Haddonfield, NJ. For four years the last day of school was a day to celebrate for the teachers as well as the students.

Fall announced the beginning of the school year. I can not tell a lie, and I did not enjoy grade school at all. I made many friends while I attended school, but the regiment was the “dear nuns.” I did not enjoy that at all. But, despite that Fall also meant I had to return to school, it also brought the cool weather and the turning of the tree’s leaves to all their magnificent colors. I absolutely loved it. I would ride all over town on my bike and often rode my bike to Strawbridge Lake. In the winter, my friends and I would ice-skate on the frozen Lake. For the rest of the year, we would walk or ride our bikes to the lake and have picnics there. We would also watch the fishermen. We would walk across the waterfall, which was a No-No, but nonetheless, we would all dare each other to cross over to the other side. We would often spend the whole day there. My parents never asked where we were all day, as long as we got home in time for lunch. They never had any idea what we were up to.

Fall is almost the perfect season because it has everything we want and needs to end happily and begin again. Embrace the change and embrace Fall! Fall also brought Halloween. My second favorite holiday, after Christmas. Not only did we go out Trick or Treating. We also participated in the Halloween parade in our costumes, up and down Main Street in Maple Shade. Fall also brought Halloween. My second favorite holiday, after Christmas. Not only did we go out Trick or Treating. We also participated in the Halloween parade in our costumes, up and down Main Street in Maple Shade.

To top that all off, we would go out trick or treating all over town. And we carried bags to put all the candy into each time we knocked at someone’s house and yelled, “Trick or Treat” at the top of our lungs. I went out with all my girlfriends and the neighborhood boys. And once our bags(pillowcases) were full, we would all return to our homes and dump the candy on the kitchen table. And then, we would go out again until we had filled the bags at least twice.

And let me tell you something: there was no one that had a bigger sweet tooth than me. In fact, I believe the whole Boomer Generation had sweet tooths. Because this was back in the days when there were stores that sold penny candy. And if you had a quarter, you could get twenty-five pieces of candy. I kid you not. Our neighborhood candy store was called Schucks. The Schuck family owned it.

I would spend a day walking up and down Main Street, looking for a change that people had dropped. And sure enough, I always found some change. And no sooner did I see it than I would make my way to Schuck’s. Mrs. Schuck’s family owned the store. And it had a large candy counter with every kind of candy you could imagine. Mrs. Schuck knew all the names of the kids who lived in Maple Shade, where I grew up. She would patiently stand there while I would tell her what candy I wanted, and then she would put them all in a brown paper bag. And I would hand her all my change, which most often was pennies or, if I was lucky, nickels.

In addition to selling penny candy, Schucks had a luncheon counter and made milkshakes, sodas, and hoagies. There was also a separate room for teenagers to play records and dance with one another. I used to watch them from the other side of the swinging doors. I wondered if I would ever get old enough to dance in there when I got bigger. But by the time I became a teenager, Schucks no longer existed.

Oh, the fifties were a wonderful time for us baby boomers. We had almost total freedom. As long as we came home on time for dinner. And, of course, in the Summer, we were free to roam all over town or as far as we could go on our bicycles. I don’t remember my mother ever telling me not to eat all that candy. It’s a wonder that I had a tooth left in my mouth that didn’t have a cavity.

In fifth grade, I developed an abscessed tooth because of all the sweets I ate and the fact that I didn’t always brush my teeth very often. After my parents took me to the dentist, and he read the riot act to them after examining my decayed teeth. He didn’t yell at me, but he should have. But, as a result, my parents, mainly my mother, stood there twice a day and watched me brush my teeth. And from that time forward, I went to a dentist for a check-up once a year.

And although we all loved the Fall, we looked forward to the winter as well. Not only could we go ice skating on Strawbridge Lake, but we would also play in the snow for hours and hours, no matter how cold it was. We only went home if our gloves became too wet, and we had to put on different gloves and new socks to keep them from freezing in our wet boots. We would build igloos and snow men in all our yards. We would sled on the frozen sidewalks and snow until our hands and faces felt as if they were frozen.

Our childhood was a magical time for all of us. We had unlimited freedom. Not only that, it was a time of innocence when our parents didn’t worry about Stranger Danger. That didn’t happen until my children were born in the early 1980s, and we all became paranoid.

It was the last fall that I had experienced for a long time. I grew up in New Jersey and lived there until I was twenty-two. That is when I moved to Florida. Fall was my absolute favorite time of the year. The long, hot, and humid Summer was over. And I looked forward to the cooler weather. And, I so looked forward to the changing of leaves on the trees. Of course, moving to Florida meant no more wonderful fall weather and no more changing of the trees to fall’s beautiful orange and yellow colors.

When I was a child, I loved Summertime. The main reason was that I no longer had to attend school. I attended Catholic grade school at Our Lady of Perpetual Help Elementary School for eight years in Maple Shade, NJ. Then, I attended St. Mary of the Angel’s Academy Catholic High School in Haddonfield, NJ. For four years, the last day of school was for the teachers and the students to celebrate.

Fall announced the beginning of the school year. I can not lie, and I did not enjoy grade school. I made many friends while I attended school, but the regiment was the “dear nuns.” I did not enjoy that at all. But, despite that Fall also meant I had to return to school, it also brought the cool weather and the turning of the trees’ leaves to all their magnificent colors. I absolutely loved it. I would ride all over town on my bike and often rode my bike to Strawbridge Lake. In the winter, my friends and I would ice skate on the frozen Lake. For the rest of the year, we would walk or ride our bikes to the lake and have picnics there. We would also watch the fishermen. We would walk across the waterfall, which was a No-No, but nonetheless, we would all dare each other to cross over to the other side. We would often spend the whole day there. My parents never asked where we were all day until we got home in time for lunch. They never had any idea what we were up to.

Fall is almost the perfect season because it has everything we want and needs to end happily and begin again. Embrace the change and embrace Fall! Fall also brought Halloween. My second favorite holiday is after Christmas. Not only did we go out Trick or Treating. We also participated in the Halloween parade in our costumes, up and down Main Street in Maple Shade. Fall also brought Halloween. My second favorite holiday, after Christmas. Not only did we go out Trick or Treating. We also participated in the Halloween parade in our costumes, up and down Main Street in Maple Shade.

To top that all off, we would go out trick or treating all over town. And we carried bags to put all the candy into each time we knocked at someone’s house and yelled, “Trick or Treat” at the top of our lungs. I went out with all my girlfriends and the neighborhood boys. And once our bags(pillowcases) were full, we would all return to our homes and dump the candy on the kitchen table. And then, we would go out again until we had filled the bags at least twice.

And let me tell you something: there was no one that had a bigger sweet tooth than me. In fact, I believe the whole Boomer Generation had sweet tooths. This was back in the days when stores sold penny candy, and if you had a quarter, you could get twenty-five pieces of candy. I kid you not. Our neighborhood candy store was called Schucks. The Schuck family owned it.

I would spend a day walking up and down Main Street, looking for a change that people had dropped. And sure enough, I always found some change. And no sooner did I see it than I would make my way to Schuck’s. Mrs. Schuck’s family owned the store. And it had a large candy counter with every kind of candy you could imagine. Mrs. Schuck knew all the names of the kids who lived in Maple Shade, where I grew up. She would patiently stand there while I would tell her what candy I wanted, and then she would put them all in a brown paper bag. And I would hand her all my change, which most often was pennies or, if I was lucky, nickels.

In addition to selling penny candy, Schucks had a luncheon counter and made milkshakes, sodas, and hoagies. There was also a separate room for teenagers to play records and dance with one another. I used to watch them from the other side of the swinging doors. I wondered if I would ever get old enough to dance in there when I got bigger. But by the time I became a teenager, Schucks no longer existed.

Oh, the fifties were a wonderful time for us baby boomers. We had almost total freedom as long as we came home on time for dinner. And, of course, in the Summer, we were free to roam all over town or as far as we could go on our bicycles. I remember my mother telling me not to eat all that candy. It’s a wonder that I had a tooth left in my mouth that didn’t have a cavity.

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LIFE AS I HAVE KNOW IT

I have reached a point in my life when most of my years are behind me and few in front of me. As a result, I have begun reflecting on what I should do with my remaining years, barring unforeseen health issues or unexpected events like getting run over by a car.

I believe that I have lived an interesting life; I’m not famous or rich. However, I have lived my life based on setting certain behavior standards and meeting my goals. In addition, I have made decisions in my life that I felt would benefit my future in some way. Be it big or small. As I reflect on all the years I have lived and what I have accomplished over those years, I feel I have accomplished a great deal considering my background and the times that I grew up in from the early fifties through the 1970s to our present time.

I was born in the early 1950’s. I was part of the Baby Boomer Generation. We were preceded by the Silent Generation and followed by Generation X. I am not, nor will I ever be, either rich or famous. I have never set goals for myself that would enable me to become rich or famous. And that fact does not bother me in the least. I have met many people over my lifetime who have been wealthy, and some have been famous. They did not seem any more content with their lives than I did. I have to admit that, for the most part, I am proud of my accomplishments over the past 73 years, big or poor. I haven’t let fear get in my way. And that is saying a lot because I was a shy and quiet child who came from a large family.

But let me digress for a moment and give you some of my background. My sister and I were fraternal twins born in 1951. We had four older siblings. My oldest siblings were nineteen and twenty years older than us. My subsequent siblings, two sisters, were eight and seven years older than myself and my twin. They might as well have been lightyears ahead of us since there was a significant age gap when we were seven and starting grade school. 

I attended twelve years of Catholic School. My elementary school was less than a block from our childhood home, and the Catholic Church was a mere two houses away from where I grew up in Maple Shade, New Jersey. Going to twelve years of Catholic School had a profound effect on me. When I was attending grade school, we had St. Joseph nuns teaching us. It taught me self-control since not following the directions of the “dear” sisters often had painful consequences. And those consequences were often painful, physically and psychologically. Since the dear sisters were not beyond rapping our small and fragile hands with wooden rulers with metal edges on them, and if that didn’t work, you would be sent to the front of the classroom, where they would bang your head into the blackboard. And worse, they would demean and diminish you by telling you you were stupid.

To some extent, I understand why we were disciplined this way. That was because the classes were overcrowded due to the sheer number of kids in the class, which could be sixty or more. When I was in first grade, there were three first-grade classes because of the number of students entering first grade. My sister and I were required to stay after school and help clear up after the other students. I never questioned why we had to do it, but in retrospect, I suppose the school reduced the cost of the school tuition by having students do physical labor. I also had to go to the convent where the nuns lived on Saturdays and work. My job was cleaning the storage room where the nuns’ food supplies were stored. My sister had to iron the church vestments.

I have to admit I did not put too much effort into studying when I was going to elementary school. But, somehow, I did pass and move forward to Catholic High School. Anyone who wanted to attend Catholic High School had to take a test to get in. There were two Catholic Schools to choose from in our area. We had to take an entrance exam to be accepted into the Catholic High School. I passed both tests and was accepted at St. Mary of the Angels Academy, which was an all-girl School, and Holy Cross High School, where my two older sisters had attended. Somehow, I passed both of them. My parents decided that we would attend the Girl’s School. Because they wanted to keep us from intermingling with boys. I wasn’t particularly interested in boys at that time, so I didn’t care one way or the other. Boys at that time, so I didn’t care one way or the other.

And so my sister and I attended four years of all-girl school at St. Mary of the Angel’s Academy. It was a college prep school, more challenging than a public high school or Holy Cross High School. My parent’s goal was to keep us away and safe from boys during our adolescence so we wouldn’t get pregnant. They were unaware of my lack of interest in boys at that time. Over time, in my late teens and early twenties, I eventually became interested in dating,

I had my first boyfriend when I was twenty-one, David Gatelein. It didn’t last long since we had little in common. He had recently been released from the military with some emotional or mental issues due to fighting in the Vietnam War that I wasn’t aware of for quite a while.

After about a year of dating him, he broke off with me. I was somewhat upset, but I got over it since I hadn’t fallen in love or made any real connection with him. And we had very little in common since the only thing he cared about was sailing and drinking beer. And I didn’t drink and. I didn’t even know how to swim. And that was the end of him.

Not long after that, my best friend invited me over to meet her boy cousin, who just exited the Navy Reserve. His immediate family lived in Florida. And he was visiting all his cousins before he returned home. We hit it off, and after he returned to his home in Florida, we began writing back and forth. Eventually, I decided that this was a person I wanted to be a part of my life. And eventually, we moved to Florida and found a job and an apartment, and after some time passed by, we decided to get married. During my vacation in Florida, I attended the Florida Beauty Academy and earned a license in hairdressing. I’m not sure why I decided to do that since I never had any desire to cut hair or style hair. But, I suppose I thought it would provide an income for us while he was going to school. And it did, over the years, provide additional income.

Of course, many things happened over those fifty years. After we were married, Bob decided he wanted to attend Brooks Institute in California. It was a school that taught photography. While he went to school, I worked full-time. My first job was selling hats and wigs at Robinson’s Department Store. And I there was a more boring job than that I can’t imagine what it would be. I worked there for a year until one of the girls that I met at Robinsons told me about a school for mentally handicapped children. She said they were looking for reliable women to work with the kids; she was volunteering there. She gave me a reference, and I called St. Vincent’s every day for two weeks until they agreed to interview me. Eventually, they did, and after filling out an application and being interviewed by several people, I was hired as a counselor. I worked there for two years. And I loved every minute of it. I can’t describe how much I came to love those kids. I took care of girls ages twelve to seventeen. And I came to love those kids like they were my own. 

After Bob graduated from Brooks Institute, we decided to move back to the New Jersey, Philadelphia area, where Bob thought he had a better chance to find employment. Unfortunately, there weren’t any photography opportunities at that time. He was employed at RCA in Princeton, NJ, as an electronic technician for two years. Until he was hired at GE, he was hired as an engineer lab supervisor for fifteen years.

We had two children, three years apart. And eventually moved from our house in Pennsauken, NJ, to a large home in Pitman, NJ. It had been empty for eight years and was in need of a new roof, new heater, and refrigerator and stove. We spent years updating and redecorating the house. It was 5.000 square feet and was three stories high with two large basements and a two-car garage. We painted the shutters for the fifty-five windows it had and had the house painted. I did all the gardening and took care of the house in general. Bob did all the heavy work. After approximately one year, I opened my own business called The Art Room, where I taught Art to children in the afternoon and adults in the evening. I used the three rooms that had been used by the doctor who lived in the house previous to us. We came to love our house. And we lived there for 24 years.

When we were getting close to retirement age, we realized that the real estate taxes increased every year because of the cost of keeping up this large home. And we knew we could not continue living in our house once we retired. So, with a heavy heart, we put our beautiful home up for sale. It took almost eight months to sell it since most people in the area could not afford such a large house or the taxes to live there. Eventually, a lawyer and his wife, a nurse, made an offer for our house, and we accepted it. They had several children, and the lawyer’s sister was also moving in with them. The house had four bedrooms. And offices, as I mentioned earlier. The day we packed up all our belongings and went to the settlement was one of the most challenging days of my life. I can not tell you how much I loved that home, but we could never retire if we stayed there. So, we went to the settlement, signed away our house, and headed toward the home we had purchased in North Carolina. We have been living here for almost nine years. We live in a quiet neighborhood where everyone keeps to themselves. I still miss all the friends that I had in Pitman, New Jersey. I miss our small town where our kids went to school, and I knew so many of the children and their parents who I came to know through The Art Room. Those were wonderful years with great friends and neighbors, and we were so lucky to have the opportunity to spend our middle years there. I have no regrets.

My husband, my younger daughter, and I live in a small development in Willow Spring with our two dogs, one cat, and ten birds. Oh, I forgot to mention how much I have always loved small children and animals.

Finally, I would like to say that I have had a blessed life and many good times. I have had my share of losses. My older sibling passed away, my beautiful oldest sister, Jeanie, who died of emphysema when she was forty-one, and my oldest sibling, my brother, Hugh, who was a psychologist who passed away five years ago. I am lucky to have still my sister, Eileen, my sister, Liz, and my fraternal twin, Karen, who all live in New Jersey. I also have many nieces and nephews and great-nieces and nephews.

I have been volunteering at an animal sanctuary for the past nine years, caring for parrots, doves, and finches. Over two hundred animals reside there. The sanctuary is located in Coats, NC, on Live Oak Road. If you ever have the opportunity to visit, please do.

I do not know how much longer I will live in this world, but I do know that I plan to make the most of the time I have left. I will always love animals and continue to create art and gardens. Life is short, so make the most of it. Treat people the way you want to be treated. Live your life to the fullest. Try to find something that makes you happy each day. Life goes by so quickly.

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STICKY FINGERS

As far back as I can remember, I had an uncontrollable impulse to steal. And I’m talking about when I was young, perhaps seven or eight years old. At first, it was nickels and dimes. If my mother, father, sisters, or brothers left their wallet or purse in sight, I would shove nickels, dimes, and quarters in my pockets. Then I would walk down to the 5+10 store and buy cheap toys, like puzzles, crayons, or barrettes for my hair. I didn’t buy them because I didn’t have any. It was because I wanted more. I never seemed to be satisfied with what I already had; I always wanted more and more. And that wasn’t just cheap toys; it also included going to the candy store and buying candy. I was just never satisfied. I always wanted more. I’m surprised that I have most of my teeth after all the candy I ate when I was six or up.

I used to walk up and down Main Street and search for coins or dollar bills that someone had carelessly dropped on the sidewalk. I almost always found some. If I didn’t see any coins on the sidewalk downtown, I would go to our church, go up and down the pews, and pick up all the loose change I found. And I never felt an ounce of guilt.

I also had other expenses that I had to consider. And going to the movies every Saturday afternoon was one of those. It was called the Roxy Theater, and almost every Saturday, there was a new movie. But, even if I had seen the film before, I would have gone to see it again. I just loved going to the movies. All the kids in our small town went to the Saturday Matinee. We would all bring our lunches, which always included a dessert. My mother made a different cake every Saturday. I can not tell you how much I loved my mother’s homemade cakes. They were so delicious. I would have been as big as a house if I wasn’t such an active kid. But I was very active; I roller skated, and I rode my bike from one town to another. I walked to Strawbridge Lake at least once a week when the weather was good. And it was a good three miles away from my hometown. And then, I was out playing with my friends every day until dark at night during the summer. And, of course, while I was riding or walking all over town, I looked for lost coins. I was more than willing to do chores for our neighbors if they paid me.  My father- 1960's

Once I could earn money, I stopped looking for lost money or someone else’s lost coins. And when the time came when I was old enough to babysit my nieces and nephews, I was paid for my time, and I didn’t resort to looking for lost coins on my mother’s change. What ultimately stopped me from looking for lost change and searching the church for coins happened when I was in the fifth grade, and I developed a toothache while in school. And it wasn’t just an ache that hurt once in a while; it was a god-awful abscess due to my constant candy addiction and not brushing my teeth every day. My mother told me to brush my teeth, but I rarely did.

As a result, one day, in the fourth grade, I developed a horrible toothache. In fact, it was an abscessed tooth; I failed to tell my mother or father about it because I was afraid of going to the dentist. However, this abscess was so painful that I started to cry in my classroom, and I told Sister Joseph Catherine, my teacher, that I had a horrible toothache. She didn’t believe me right away, but eventually, she decided I was telling the truth, and the school called my parents and told them that I needed to see a dentist. We only lived two houses from the school, so it was a short walk home. When I got home, I found that my mother and father had contacted a dentist in Philadelphia, and they had made an appointment for me that day. And off we went to the dentist. Well, it turned out that that m tooth was abscessed and had to be pulled. My parents were distraught. They blamed themselves. But it was my fault for eating all the sweets and not brushing my teeth. I was a very stubborn kid. And didn’t always do what I was told or what was good for me. I was quiet for the most part, and I don’t think my parents realized how stubborn and mule-headed I was.

So, we were off to the dentist, who informed my parents that not only did I have an abscessed tooth, but many of my teeth had cavities. And I need a lot of work done. My parents were informed that they needed to observe me brushing my teeth three times daily and cut out all the candy and cakes I ate. And suggested that fruit would be a better snack for me. And I needed to brush my teeth three times a day and go to the dentist at least once a year.

Mom, sitting at the kitchen table,

After that, my mother would come into the bathroom with me after every meal and observe me brush my teeth. Both of my parents had dentures, and they didn’t want me to end up the way they did without teeth. When they were kids, they did not have the opportunity to go to the dentist. My father grew up in an orphanage called “Gerard College.” Where boys with no living fathers grew up, my mother was the youngest of many siblings, and there was no money to pay a dentist. It was a challenge to feed all the members of her family. My mother was born in 1910. My father was born in 1911. his father had passed away, and his mother had to work, so she put him in “Gerard College, and he didn’t leave until he was age. He only saw his mother once a year. He had a difficult and lovely childhood. My father became a bus driver, and my mother met him when she took the bus, and he was the driver.  They proceeded to have six children, and two that didn’t survive. They were married in 1929.

My parents did not have an easy life or marriage. My mother was one of the kindest people I ever knew, and my father cared in his own way, although he could be difficult. I loved my parents deeply and couldn’t imagine having any other parents. And the only regret I ever had was that my parents didn’t live longer lives. My father died in 1986 from lung cancer, he was a long-time smoker, My mother died one year later, from congestive heart failure, I believe her heart broke when my father passed away. They didn’t have a perfect life, but they did the best they could. They died almost forty years ago, and I still miss them to this day. I would give anything to see them one more time. I do not know if there is heaven, but I hope there is one because I would love to see my dear mother and dad again. Even if it was for just a minute. I feel I was blessed with the parents I had and the life they gave me. They worked hard every day and were a blessing to me. And there isn’t a day when I don’t miss them. As for my sticky fingers, once I stopped eating candy and sweets, I no longer had the sticky fingers, and to this day. And I made it a practice to work hard, earn my own money, and never take anything that wasn’t mine. The fact is, I found that working hard and paying my way in life had been bigger blessings than any amount of money or sweets I had ever eaten. And I have to say that my parents were the best example of hard-working and honest people. And I believe they would be proud of my accomplishments if they were still living, including attending Temple University when I was thirty-six and graduating at the top of my class at forty-one years old with two degrees.

My husband, Bob, and myself with my two adult children when we lived in Pitman, NJ

I have been married for fifty years and raised two intelligent and gifted children. I went to college when I was thirty-six and graduated with two degrees and teaching credentials when I was forty-one,. I started my own” The Art Room” business and taught art to children and adults for many years.  Here I am, retired and living in North Carolina. I am far from the shy girl I was as a child, and I do not let anything or anyone stand in the way of the things I want to accomplish. I don’t know how much longer I will be in this life, but I promise you this: I will always do my best, work as hard as I can, and accomplish every challenge that comes my way.

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