Monthly Archives: December 2024

Life Is Not Always A Bowl Of Cherries

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My dear mother, passed away in 1987

My dear mother passed away in 1987

Life Isn’t Always A Bowl Of Cherries. I’ve heard this expression throughout my life many times. And I get it. No one’s life is perfect all the time. As we go through life, we will occasionally face difficult times. We can face health issues that we never would have thought would affect us. This has happened to me. When I was in my early 50s, I started experiencing angina pains up and down my right arm. Then, I began getting short of breath when going up and down steps or sometimes just walking too fast. I tried to ignore it, but it didn’t go away. So, I decided I would make an appointment to see my regular doctor.

The doctor listened to my heart and took my blood pressure. I was asked multiple questions about what I was doing at the time. I noticed changes in my ability to walk without shortness of breath, etc. My primary physician gave me a referral to a cardiologist. I was shaken up about the whole thing. I had just turned fifty, and in general, I had good health. I rarely got sick, I didn’t drink, I didn’t eat meat. I exercised every day. Nonetheless, it seemed as if I had a cardiac condition.

As I was leaving the doctor’s office, tears started running down my face. All I could think about was my mother. She had congestive heart failure, and ultimately, she died from it. Even though she was being treated for it. I was thirty-six when she passed away. My children were six and three at the time. They never really got to know either of my parents since my father had died the year before my mother died from lung cancer. He had been a long-time smoker;, sometimes, he smoked two packs a day. I never smoked. My mother smoked, but she only smoked two cigarettes a day. As it turns out, congestive heart failure is an inherited trait. And unfortunately, I inherited that trait.

Life is full of challenges. We have to face them and deal with them the best we can. We do not get out of life alive. Eventually, we will all pass away from something. I grew up in a family with six siblings. I had an older brother, Hugh who was twenty years older thatn I was, and my sister,, Jeanie who was ninteen years older than I was. Unfortunately, my sister, Jeanie, developed Emphysema; It was called Alpha-1 antitrypsin (AAT) deficiency. It is a genetic disorder that causes low levels of AAT, a protein that protects the lungs and liver. It’s also known as “genetic COPD” or “genetic emphysema.” It is an inherited trait. When she was forty-one, she passed away. She was among the kindest, generous, funniest people I ever knew. And she was absolutely beautiful. It has been almost fifty years since she passed away.

I still have three siblings, including my twin sister. My oldest sister, Eileen, was diagnosed with cancer a year ago and has spent the last year being treated with Chemotherapy and radiation. After a year, the doctors believe she is cancer-free. I can not tell you how much I admire my sister, who followed the doctor’s orders, endured the treatment, and never complained. She is my hero. My only wish for her is that in her remaining years, she remains cancer-free and healthy. My oldest sibling, who was twenty years older than me, passed away five years ago. My sister, who is my fraternal twin, has diabetes, but other than that, she seems healthy, and my sister, Liz, is well, as far as I know.

I know we have no guarantees in life, so I made a decision years ago after I was diagnosed with left heart failure that I was going to live my life to the fullest, for whatever time I had left. It has been twenty years since I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. And I feel fine at this time, I try to eat healthy food (no meat, no sweets, no junk foord.} And so far, I am doing well. I’ve never had a heart attack, and I haven’t had angina pain in years. I believe I will live out whatever years I have left feeling well and making the most of each day of my life. Who could ask for more than that? As the French say, “ vivre la vie pleinement” Live life to the fullest. And that, my friends, is my advice. Live life, be happy.

 

 

 

The Time Just flew by

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Looking back over my lifetime, I realize that some of my best memories were my childhood experiences. I’m a baby boomer, meaning I was born between 1946 and 1964. They’re currently between 57-75 years old. I was born in 1951, and although I find it difficult to believe, I am presently seventy-three years old. I know I am 73, but I don’t feel that old. I still look forward to each new day, and I am busy from six-thirty in the morning until I go to bed at 8:45 at night.

My husband and I retired nine years ago and moved to North Carolina. Before that, we had lived in New Jersey for thirty-one years. We have also lived in Florida and California during our early years of marriage. I have had an interesting life and met many interesting and famous people. I have worked as a dental assistant and an oral surgeon assistant. When we lived in California and Bob, my husband, was attending Brooks Institute for Photography in Santa Barbara, I worked as a counselor at St. Vincent’s School and a live-in facility for mildly retarded children. I must admit that of all the jobs I had over my lifetime, St. Vincent’s School was my favorite. I came to love those children with my whole heart. 

After my husband had completed his education, we returned to New Jersey and Philadelphia. We lived with my parents for several months. Bob found employment as an engineering tech. And we decided that we would buy a house. Since Bob had served in the Military, he could buy a house without a downpayment. And that is precisely what we did. We found a house for sale in Pennsauken, New Jersey, in a nice middle-class neighborhood. We made an offer for the house, and it was accepted. It was a 1950’s house. It had three bedrooms, a small kitchen and dining room, and a half bath. It is a big yard, front and back. And then we proceeded to have two children, both daughters. I had been looking forward to having kids since I always loved playing and caring for my many nieces and nephews as a teenager. And I had also come to love the kids at St. Vincent’s. We spent the time before our first child was born updating our little house. We lived there for fourteen years. Our kids attended school at Pennsauken Elementary School.

Temple University, Tyler School of Art

When my oldest daughter was six, and my youngest was three, I decided to attend college. I was thirty-six at the time. I applied to three art schools and was accepted by all of them. I decided to participate in Temple University, Tyler School of Art, and Hussian School of Art. However, I decided to attend Tyler School of Art because they offered me financial assistance and a scholarship for the first year.

I’m not going to lie. It was difficult attending college full-time with two small children. Luckily, one of my neighborhood friends offered to babysit my kids after school and on holidays. I babysat her daughter, who was about my oldest daughter’s age, during the Summer since I didn’t take Summer classes.

I did not get much sleep during those four years, but it was one of the best experiences of my life. I was the only adult student in all my classes. And often, the other students thought I was a teacher. However, as time passed, I befriended all the students in my classes. By the end of my four years at the Tyler School of Art, I was known to almost everyone in the school, Mainly because on our lunch break, I would go down to the student cafeteria and ask if I could eat lunch at their table if there were an empty seat and they always said yes. In this way, I befriended every student in the school. And some of the teachers who were about my age. It was challenging to go to college at my age, but I loved every minute of it, and never regretted it for a minute. The day my class graduated from school. I got a standing ovation from everyone. I have to say it was one of the best experiences of my life. When I think back on it, I don’t know how I did it. But, overall, I think that once I am determined to accomplish something, I will do it, no matter how difficult or complicated. When I attended Tyler, I was the only adult student, but more and more adult students attend college. And to tell you the truth, the day I graduated was one of the proudest moments of my life.

After I graduated from Tyler, I applied for every art teacher position I could find. As I started sending out my resumes to different public schools in other areas of New Jersey, I became aware that the schools were no longer teaching art. They decided it was necessary. But, of course, it is. Anything that teaches children how to think creatively has excellent value for their whole lives due to not finding employment. I decided that I was going to start an Art School of my own. And then, I started looking for a house in the South Jersey area. One day, I received a newsletter with an advertisement on the front page for a big, old Victorian home in Pitman, NJ. That was for sale. And my husband and I attended the Open House. And it was exactly what I envisioned, except that it had been unoccupied for the past eight years. It was in need of repair, a new roof, right off the bat since the roof was leaking, it had wood floors throughout, but it was in bad repair, it was covered in wall paper from decades ago that was glued to the walls. It was a house with four bedrooms, two and a half baths, two cellars, and a third floor that was immense. In addition, the previous owner had a business in which he dedicated two rooms and a bathroom. And this, my friends, was perfect for my “ Art Room.“ After several months of cleaning and remodeling these rooms, I posted an advertisement in the “Pitman News and World News Report.” Within two months, children and adolescents came to my art room for classes, and adults arrived at night.

It was a great experience, and I became friends with all of my neighbors and many of the people who lived in Pitman. This is an old saying, but none-the-less truth. “Never give up. Just try, try again. And that is precisely what I did.

And so, we lived in Pitman, New Jersey, for twenty-four years. And I loved every minute of it. We stayed there until it was time for us to retire. And so here I am some eight years later in North Carolina. Believe it or not, I volunteer at an animal sanctuary, caring for birds, Parrots, Macaws, finches, pheasants, and doves. I have always been a great lover of all animals. Presently, I have two dogs, ten birds, and a cat that resides in our house. And we have a Koi pond in our backyard, and I feed all the wild birds in our yard. I have seven bird feeders. I don’t know my future, but I assure you it will be interesting and challenging.

It All Began With My Neighbors Cats

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Strottles on a bad day

I grew up in the small town of Maple Shade, New Jersey, in the 1950s and lived there until I was twenty. There were a great many children my age living in Maple Shade, so there were always friends to play with me. But, occasionally, I would find myself alone and go over to my neighbor’s house and visit her cats. Her cats lived in her house, but they had access to a cellar window where they could go outside in a large fenced area in her backyard to spend the day outside for as long as they wished. I loved to go over and talk to the cats and often spent most of the day there. Mrs. Collins lived two houses down from my house. So, my mother never had to go far to find me. Suppose it was time for lunch or dinner. She just called out,” Time for lunch, Susan.”

I also befriended all my neighbor’s dogs. I constantly begged my parents to get a dog. My neighbor, the Lombardi’s, had a cat they fed but were not allowed to live in their house. His name was Strottles, And I made it my business to spend a good part of my day talking to him and feeding him snacks that I would get out of our refrigerator. I was careful not to take any of my father’s favorite foods, or he would have “a bird,” as my mother used to say.

Strottles spent much time coming to our kitchen door and meowing when hungry. One day, my mother was taking the trash out to the garbage can, inadvertently leaving the side kitchen door open. And Strottles came into the kitchen. I suppose he was looking for something to eat. Unfortunately, my mother had left her pet parakeet out of the cage, and he was walking across the kitchen table, knocking the knives and forks off the table, Which was his daily habit. And Strottles managed to jump on the table, and he killed my mother’s pet, whom she loved dearly. This broke my mother’s heart. And my father blamed me because I had befriended the cat that killed my mother’s birdy. I ended up getting a spanking, and my father made me go down into the cellar until he told me I could come up to the kitchen again. I was broken-hearted. I love my mother’s little bird, too, and I never wanted it to be harmed in any way. I felt bad about my mom’s bird being killed. The guilt was overwhelming at times. And although it has been over sixty years, I never forgot it.

Somehow, this event did not deter my love of animals, but I did become aware of keeping all my feathered and furry friends safe from harm. And that remains true to this day. And here I am in the last years of my life, and over the years, I have owned and loved many cats and birds, mostly cocktails, and several dogs.

Presently, I have two dogs and ten birds. And one cat. For the last nine years since I retired, I have been volunteering at an animal sanctuary. And I have been taking care of parrots, doves, and occasionally pheasants. Over two hundred animals live at the sanctuary, and it feels like my childhood dream has come true. At one point in my life, I considered attending school to become a veterinarian. But realized it would take many years since I was thirty-six. Instead, I applied to Tyler School of Art at Temple University in Philadelphia, PA. I was the only adult student in the Freshman Class. But, honestly, that never bothered me. I befriended all the students who attended Tyler with me. And some of the teachers who were my age. It wasn’t easy because I had two young children at the time, a house, and a husband to care for. But, somehow, I got through those four years. And graduated at the top of my class Magnum Cum Laude. I taught Art to children and adults for many years in a school I opened up in our new Pitman, New Jersey home.

But I had a house with eight cats and a couple of birds, not to mention all the wild birds I fed and the neighbor’s cats. Who somehow found out about me and came crying at my back door. I realized over time that these outside cats were propagating like crazy, so I bought a couple of large traps, captured them, and took them to the vet’s to have them altered so they wouldn’t have any further kittens. I found homes for the kittens that had already been born, and I kept several of them myself.

Life offers us many opportunities to do good in the world and make the most of our time here.

After I graduated from college at the top of my class with two degrees and teaching credentials. I worked in Social Service positions in Camden, NJ. I worked at the Center for Family Service with Wilson Goode. We matched at-risk kids in Camden with mentors from the five churches with mentors from churches. In this capacity, I had to visit the parents of some of these children who were incarcerated in prison for reasons I didn’t always know. I had to explain to the parents that I needed their permission to match their child or children with mentors from the churches in the hope of preventing their children from repeating their parent’s mistakes and ending up in prison. Most parents were more than willing to help their children in any way they could. The Center for Family Services, which employed me, would match these children with church members. It was not an easy job, but it is one that I feel provided a better life for the children who lived in Camden, NJ. After that, I worked at Ranch Hope in Alloway, NJ, as a counselor with at-risk adolescent boys adjudicated by the court for various infractions with the police. These boys had grown up under difficult circumstances and didn’t always have good role models; most lived in poverty. I worked at Ranch Hope for five years, a complex and challenging position. I do feel that I succeeded with these boys to some degree and that some did manage to change their behavior so that when they were released from their time at Ranch Hope, there was a strong possibility that they could go out in the world and keep out of trouble and hopefully make some positive contributions.

I look back at that time and wonder how I had gotten through those years. They were not easy ones. But I do feel that I did give those boys an opportunity to create a better life for themselves. I knew that there were some adults in their lives who wanted them to move forward, succeed in life, and hopefully do better than their parents had done.

I’ve had many jobs over my long life, and I believe I have learned as much from the children I’ve taught as they have learned from me. I have no regrets about my life at all. I have lived all over the country in New Jersey, Florida, and California and now retired in North Carolina. I no longer work with at-risk kids. I work with animals, who have also been one of the great loves of my life. I don’t know my future since I am now seventy-three years old. But I know that as long as I have breath in my body, I will continue to do good for as long as possible.