Daily Archives: April 1, 2025

The Stories Of My Youth

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Sometimes, I find it challenging to write about my past because what is happening now in the present is overwhelming and terrifying. I was born in 1951, which, to many people, may seem like a very, very long time ago. Nonetheless, the last seventy-three years seemed to fly by. Although I don’t believe I’ve lived an extraordinary life, it has been an interesting and challenging one.

I came from an Irish Catholic family, and I had five siblings. Of which my twin and I were the last offspring. My older brother, Hugh, who was nineteen years older than I, passed away several years ago from liver cancer. He was a psychologist who spent his adult life helping people. My oldest sister, Jeanette, was twenty years older. She passed away when I was forty-one. She had Alpha 1 deficiency, which caused her to have a genetic form of emphysema. She was such a wonderful person and kind to all. I still miss her to this day. My sisters, Eileen and Elizabeth, are retired in New Jersey. My twin also lives in New Jersey and retired after working as a District Manager for Subaru for years.

I haven’t seen them in nine years because when I retired, we moved to North Carolina, where living is less expensive. My family was surprised when I decided to move to Florida in 1974 to be near the young man I eventually married. We recently celebrated our 50th Wedding Anniversary. We’ve had our ups and downs. But somehow, we keep rolling along a bumpy road at times. I keep putting one foot in front of the other.

We lived in Pitman, New Jersey, in a large Victorian house for twenty-four years, when we realized we could not retire and continue living in our home because we couldn’t afford to pay New Jersey real estate taxes after we both retired. It was a hard dicision because we loved that house so much. And we made many friends in Pitman during our twenty-four years there. We packed all our worldly belongings, rented a moving van, and headed for North Carolina.

Painting of the house I grew up in Maple Shade, NJ

So here we are, nine years later, in North Carolina. I have been volunteering at an Animal Sanctuary for almost nine years. I have always been an animal lover, which seemed like a good match. I have cared for Parrots, Macaws, pigeons, doves, and pheasants. I have to admit that the birds can be pretty noisy, but I got used to it after a while. There are over two hundred and twenty animals there. It is out in the country in a town named Coats. If you ever visit North Carolina, you should make a point of going there. You won’t be disappointed.

In addition, I have a writer’s blog called Write On, which I post on Facebook. I have about 900 followers. You are welcome to follow it if you wish. Here is the link: https://susanaculver.com.

St. Mary of the Angels Academy

Over my lifetime, I have worked in many different kinds of jobs. My first employment was right out of High School. I was offered a position at a dentist’s office as a dental assistant at Dr. E. G. Wozniak in Haddon Township, NJ. His wife had attended the same High School—St Mary of the Angels Academy, but years before I did. So when Dr. Wozniak needed a new assistant, the principal of St. Mary’s recommended me for the job. I was hired, and it turned out that I was pretty proficient at it. And I worked there for quite five years. I liked the job, but unfortunately, I had to work many evenings and on Saturdays. And that didn’t leave me much time to have a life outside of working.

I decided to look for a nine-to-five job, only five days a week, and no evening or Saturday. I found a position at a high-risk auto insurance company called The Ellis Brothers. It was a fascinating job, and the Ellis brothers were from a wealthy family in Haddonfield, NJ. And they didn’t like working nine to five, so my co-workers, the Ellis Brothers, and I often went out for breakfast, etc. They were fun to work with and I stayed there for a couple of years.

About this time, my friend, who lived down the street from me, introduced me to her boy cousin. And we went out a couple of times, and then he had to return to Florida, where his family lived.

Bob and I communicated by mail for quite a while and occasional phone calls. I decided that this was the guy for me. I suggested that I move to Florida to get to know him better. He said yes. And as a result I made plans to travel to Florida via the Auto-train I had to drive several states away from NJ and then my car, a 1970 Volkswagen was loaded on the train. I was a passenger on the train, and believe me, it was a long ride. I had the unfortunate luck to have a mother with her infant baby sitting next to me, and as a result, I had no opportunity to get any sleep. It was a 24-hour ride. When I finally disembarked from the train, my car was also removed. And I spent at least another five hours sweating out in the Florida heat, waiting for “Bob” to arrive so I could follow him to the apartment that he rented for me. He finally arrived, and I have t admit we were both tired since he had worked all night and then had to drive for hours to the location I was waiting at.

It was quite a distance. Thank god my car had air conditioning, or I might have died. And I was starving. I had called my parents to let them know that I had arrived safely, and then I called them again when I arrived at the apartment. My parents were upset that I had moved away. And my mother had started crying on the phone. I felt terrible about it. But, at some point, we all must grow up and create our own lives separate from our parents. No matter how much we love them. It’s a part of life. Being a parent is not an easy task. I know that from my experience as a parent of two adult children.

Once I got settled in the apartment, I started looking for employment. One of Bob’s girl cousins suggested that I apply at an insurance company she had formerly worked at. That is precisely what I did. I worked there briefly, when they started laying people off for some reason. Their business wasn’t doing well. So, here I was again, unemployed. I looked for a job for a couple of months with no luck. Then, I got the brilliant idea to go to hairdressing school. So, I applied and was accepted. I had no experience in hairdressing, nor did I care about hairdressing. Nonetheless, I attended the Florida Beauty Academy for almost a year. Then, I took the state test to get my license. And I passed it with flying colors. And that was the beginning of part two of my adventures in Florida. I will continue my story next week. Stay tuned. It gets better.

 

The Time Has Come

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     She realized that she would be alone for the rest of her life. Sandra looked down at her dear mother and realized she was no longer breathing. Her mother’s illness had been prolonged and painful both for her mother and herself. During the last year of her mother’s life, she had found herself wishing her mother would pass away in her sleep.

     Her mother not only had cancer, but she also had dementia. Every day, Sandra continued to breathe, and she felt mixed emotions. She loved her mother but missed having a life of her own. She had taken care of her for many years. And she was worn out. She was always lonely because her only company was her cat, Thelma. She was getting old, almost twenty, and Sandra knew she wouldn’t live much longer.

     Sandra was a quiet young woman who kept to herself. She was never very popular in school. Since she was shy and hated calling attention to herself, the other kids made fun of her ever since she was of school age, especially the girls who called her mean names because she was fragile and had bright red curly hair. The boys made fun of her too. She had a best friend named Elaine when she was younger. But her family and she moved to another state where they thought things would improve, as more jobs were available than in the sticks where they lived.

     Every day when she looked down at her mother, she felt sick to her stomach. Because she couldn’t do anything to make her well or even lessen the pain, the doctor said they had done all they could for her. And she wouldn’t live much longer. Every day she saw her mother shrinking away, and she could do nothing to make her feel better. She thought about putting her in a nursing home, but when she checked out the cost, she realized there was no way for her to pay for it. And her poor mother would feel abandoned. So, Sandra kept going one day at a time. Occasionally, one of her neighbors would leave her some home-cooked meals. And Sandra would gobble them down to distract herself from her loneliness and depression.

     The following day, Sandra went to the mailbox to get the mail. She kept forgetting to get it, so a week’s worth of mail was stuffed in her old metal mailbox. She prayed that it wasn’t all bills since she only had fifty dollars in her bank account. But it turned out it was a letter from a law firm.

     Sandra thought, Oh no, I hope no one is suing me because I owe so much money to just about everyone. She was afraid to open the letter, so she held it tightly, walked slowly up to the front porch, and plopped down on the old porch swing. She slowly opened the large envelope, which looked like a letter from a lawyer. God, was she going to be sent to jail for all the money she owed to just about everyone?

     A tear ran down her pale cheek as she slowly opened the envelope. The short message was, ” Sandra Cummings, I have represented your mother for many years. And your mother is the only relative still living besides yourself. The check that is enclosed is in your and your mother’s name. We have been informed that your mother is dying and will most likely pass shortly. If she does pass away in the near future, the entire sum of money will go directly to you as the only living member of your mother’s family.

     Sandra was shocked and couldn’t grasp what she had just read about a large inheritance since she knew of other family members still living, let alone having a large sum of money. Sandra slowly opened the envelope and carefully pulled out the check within it. She almost took a nose dive off the front porch when she stared at the check and the amount.

     The check was in her name, and the amount was unbelievable. Sandra thought it must have been a joke or some mistake. The law firm had sent the check using a phone number and the law firm’s name. So, she plopped down on the porch swing and stared at the check for at least ten minutes.

     Then, she grabbed the phone and called the number. A woman answered the phone and said, “ Can I help you?” Yes, my name is Sandra Cummings, and I received a letter with a check for a large amount of money on it, saying I have inherited the money. “Oh, hold on, Ms. Cummings, I’ll check.” A few minutes passed, and Sandra thought, Oh, this must be a mistake, or maybe I’m dreaming all this. She waited for what seemed a long time. And then she heard a man’s deep voice saying,” Is this Sandra Cummings?”

“Yes, yes it is. I was calling about a check my mother received today.”

     “Yes, we sent you a check, it is the last of the money from your mother’s inheritance. She invested it many years ago. And it has increased in value. “Your mother informed us that she was ill, and she wanted to leave her money to you. Since you have loved and cared for her for many years, she wanted you to have some joy and happiness. And she realized that she was going to pass away soon. She loved you very much and felt guilty that you had to spend so many years caring for her. She wants you to sell the house as soon as she passes and create a happy life for yourself. She knows that you have always wanted to travel and see the world. And she wants you to find love in your life.

     Sandra could hardly speak; she didn’t know what to say. “ Sandra, when your mother passes, she wants you to know that she has arranged for the funeral and has already purchased a burial plot in her name. Her biggest wish is for you to find love and have a happy life from this day forward. Sandra was so shocked she didn’t know what to say.

     “Sandra, please inform me when your mother passes away, and the information of when and where she will be interred, and any problems you may need help with. I know it is a big loss when we lose our parents. But remember your mother had a long life, and now she hopes you will have a good life with love and perhaps a family someday. Please call me if you need any help or assistance. You have my number. Take care, I hope to hear from you soon.”

     And then he hung up the phone. Sandra was gobsmacked; she could hardly believe any of it. At that moment, she realized she had been on the phone for quite a long time. She better check on her Mom. Sandra slowly walked back into the house to check on her mother. As soon as she looked down at her, she realized her mother had passed away. Tears rolled down her face. She suddenly felt a big space in her heart. She knew she would miss her, but still it was so hard watching her mother suffer and not be able to help her. And now she was at peace. And wouldn’t suffer anymore. She would always miss her mother. But, she knew her mother was at peace. And her suffering in pain was over. For that reason alone, she was happy for her mother.

     She leaned down and kissed her mother’s soft cheek, and tears rolled down her face onto her mother. She looked around and realized there was nothing to keep her here anymore. She walked back to the phone and called the mortician to please take her mother, as she had passed. He said he would be there as soon as possible. And he was very sorry for her loss. She started to cry again, and she hung up the phone and stood next to her mother’s now still body, and she cried again. All she could think was Now I’m all alone in the world.