Once upon a time, when I was thirty-six years old, I decided to go to college. It was 1988. That’s right, I said college. Not only was I thirty-six years old, but I also had two young daughters. Jeanette was six years old, and Bridget was three. I didn’t have the opportunity to attend college at the traditional age of eighteen. My parents did not have the money to send me to college. I started working full-time as a dental assistant at eighteen. When I was twenty-two my now husband and I started seeing each other. He had just gotten out of the Navy. He was my best girlfriend’s boy cousin, and I had known him since I was about ten years old, and I had always had a crush on him. His family was living in Florida at the time. We corresponded for about a year. And I decided to move to Florida, and the rest is history. I found a job and started working full-time for an insurance Company. I hated that and decided to go to hairdressing school. It was called the Florida Beauty Academy.
Meanwhile, Bob was working late shifts. Ultimately, he decided he wanted to go to Brooks Institute for Photography, and he applied and was accepted. So, the next thing we knew, we were on our way to California. After he graduated, we decided to move back to the Philadelphia area for better opportunities in Photography.

     We temporarily lived with my parents for about a year until Bob decided we should buy a house. Since he had served in the military, we could buy a house without paying down. The house was about twenty-five years old and needed some work. It was only about a fifteen-minute drive to my hometown of Maple Shade, where my parents lived.

     At this point, I realized that if we were going to have a family, we better get started since I was about to turn thirty. Unfortunately, it took me several years to become pregnant. First, Jeanette was born, and then Bridget three years later. Bob had found a good job by then, but unfortunately, it was not in photography; it was in electronics. As it turned out, he was quite successful working in electronics.

     Time flew by quickly, and Jeanette and Bridget grew up before I knew it. Jeanette went to kindergarten and first grade, while Bridget, three years younger, was in daycare. Meanwhile, I decided that sometime in the not-too-distant future, I would go to college. Since I did not have that opportunity after graduating from High School, I worked full-time as a dental assistant for several years.

     I had to take an exam before I was accepted into Temple University. I passed and was accepted into the Freshman Class the following September. The first day of my Freshman class I was the first to arrive even the teachers hadn’t arrived yet. So, I walked all around the campus, and the first person I met was a middle-aged man working in the front gardens. I asked if he could direct me to the Graphics design classroom. It turned out that he had a heavy Irish accent. But, somehow, I managed to figure out what he was saying. He told me to follow him and walked me to the correct building.

     I was the first one to arrive—shocking, huh? I decided to walk around the rest of the campus until it was almost time for the rest of the student body to show up. I kept peeking at the parking lot to see if anyone had arrived. Finally, I just sat down at one of the desks and waited. Finally, some students, really young-looking students, started coming into the classroom and sitting down.

     Every single one of the students, male and female, asked me if I was the instructor. After a while, I said, No, I’m not the teacher. And then they would look at me again. I guess they couldn’t imagine that I was a student. Considering that I was twice their age, I didn’t blame them. Over time, I made it my business to befriend every student in all my classes. And sure enough, they came to accept me as a fellow student and forgot about the age gap.

     When the Graphic Design teacher came in, she did a roll call. She gave me a long look, but once she realized my name was on the list, she just let the whole age thing go. As the day went on and I went to each class I was scheduled to take the first day, I began to feel comfortable in my skin and kept up my promise to introduce myself to every student in each class and ask them about themselves.

     The next day that I went to Temple, I decided that every day I would sit at a different lunch table and talk to the students at the tables, ask them their names, what class they were in, and what degree they were working towards. I even decided to introduce myself to everyone who worked at Temple, regardless of their position, lunch lady, professor, or staff member in the office. I befriended everyone over time.

     I must admit that attending college full-time with two young children was no piece of cake. My youngest, Bridget, was in a Christian Day Care Center. Jeanette was in elementary school. After school, my friend Maryanne Czyzewski’s husband watched them until I arrived home. They had a daughter who was a year younger than Jeanette. When I was on Spring Break or during the Summer, I didn’t take any college classes. And I would take care of Maryanne and Jimmy’s daughter, Laura, every weekday until they came home from work. She was a sweet little girl with no trouble at all. Jeanette loved her.

     The four years at Temple were challenging, to say the least. I went to school all day, did homework and research at night, and completed required drawings and paintings for classes, not to mention the hours and hours I spent reading textbooks on Science, history, etc., and studying for tests.

     The most time-consuming work was graphic design. I can’t tell you how many hours I spent on graphic design work for four years. I studied and completed complex paintings and the work for all my other classes. It was intense and time-consuming, but I loved it. I enjoyed the challenge, the students, and most of the teachers.

     It was the most challenging and exciting time of my life. I would do it all again. I graduated in 1992, when I was forty-one years old. I received a standing ovation when my name was called out at graduation. I never had a prouder moment than when I was handed my diploma.

     And all the students clapped their hands when my name was called out, and I accepted my diploma. I spent the rest of the Spring and the Summer with my kids and sent resumes to all the elementary and secondary schools in New Jersey. And I received no responses. Then, I found that New Jersey would no longer finance funding for art education at the elementary, middle, or high school level. So, I started sending resumes to Philadelphia elementary schools to no avail. They were not hiring art teachers either. I was heartbroken.

     One day, in the newspaper, I found a large house for sale in Pitman, New Jersey. It had been empty for eight years, and the owners had died. So, we went to an open house the next weekend, and I decided that this was where I would teach art. A doctor and his wife had owned it for many years, but had passed away.

     We put a down payment on the house in Pitman. Our home in Pennsauken did not sell right away, so we advertised that we would sell the house as a rent-to-buy. Their rent payment would be the down payment. Then, they would have to take out a mortgage and pay the balance. And through some miracle, it all worked out.

     We lived in our house in Pitman for twenty-four years. During that time, I renovated three of the rooms the previous owner used for his practice as art rooms. I named my business THE ART ROOM. And I made a flag with that sign on it. And put an Ad in the local newspaper called THE PITMAN NEWS AND WORLD REPORT. This was in September of 1994. I taught art to children after school and to Adults in the evening. It was a great experience, and I became familiar with almost everyone who lived in town and some people in the nearby cities. I have to say it was one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done in my life. And if given a chance, I would do it again.

     Bob and I put our house in Pitman up for sale. We had spent many years renovating the house inside and out, including putting a new roof on it and the old garage. I had spent years creating a beautiful garden in the front and back, including a small Koi Pond. We would have loved to live there for the rest of our lives, but the truth was that the real estate taxes in New Jersey are very high, and once we both retired, we couldn’t afford the taxes and the upkeep of such a large home. So, I started investigating the internet about the most affordable states to retire to. And I concluded that North Carolina was the place for us. And here we are, nearly nine years later, living in a smaller home that we have improved over time, including enlarging the gardens and adding a pond. I no longer teach art. But, it is still dear to my heart.

     I have kept myself active by volunteering at an animal sanctuary and caring for exotic birds. You never know where life will take you, but I know that although I am no longer young, I will continue to participate in life with all my energy. You will never see me just sitting around; I will always move forward until I reach the end.

 

It all began one rainy Spring morning. I kept hoping the rain would stop since it had rained daily for the last two weeks. I know that April showers bring May flowers, but could we please have at least one day when the sun is shining? I was expecting a package in the mail, so I knew I would have to make a run for the mailbox sooner or later since there were at least five days of mail in my mailbox. I know it’s mostly crap, but still, I was hoping I would get a surprise package from my Aunt Betty since today was my birthday. And she always sent me a birthday card and a gift.

I decided to put on my old raincoat and run for the mailbox. Lo and behold, my dear aunt had not left me down. When I opened the mailbox, a package was shoved way back in it, along with a whole big pile of junk mail. I have no idea how my name got on every junk mail list. 

I grabbed the mail and the package and ran for the side door as quickly as possible. And just as I was about to grab the door handle, I lost my footing and fell flat on my face. The mail was scattered in every direction. I groaned and moaned. It felt like I chipped my front tooth. The one I just had capped recently cost me almost five hundred dollars since they had to do a root canal and a crown. If I weren’t lying on the cold, wet cement driveway, I would have started crying.

I made it to the door, pulled it open as quickly as possible, and smacked myself. I felt a tear, and then another ran down my cheek. I realized that it was raining even harder in addition to my tears. I gingerly picked myself up and slowly went through the door. Luckily, the package was in one piece, but the mail was scattered everywhere and was getting wetter by the minute. I wiped away the tears and ran for my life. Well, that could be a slight exaggeration. But, most likely, I would get a cold or pneumonia from the soaking rain. Or, once again, I may be exaggerating.

I made it into the house without any further drama. I put the mail on the kitchen table and then moved it to the top of the kitchen heating vent to dry. Most likely, It was all junk mail, and it wouldn’t matter one way or the other. I decided I would do the laundry and then vacuum all the rugs. Before I knew it, I cleaned the bathrooms, including the tub, shower, and toilet. Suddenly, I had a burst of energy and decided to vacuum all the bedrooms and clean the windows on the inside. I tend to get carried away with whatever I’m doing. And this, my friends, is why I’m not married and never will be. I drive everyone away with my manic behavior. What can I say, like Popeye used to say, “I am who I am.”

After I finished cleaning the whole house, I considered going out and looking at my garden, but then I remembered it was pouring outside, and the plants would be delicate without me today or whenever it stopped raining. I made myself a cup of hot tea and peanut butter on toast. This has been my favorite breakfast since I was a kid. I love peanut butter. After finishing my breakfast and cleaning up my mess, I decided to examine the mail and see if any of it was worth looking at or if it was all junk mail, as expected.

Then I realized that two letters were stuck together, and the letter on the bottom was from my Aunt Betty. I was so happy that she wrote to me. She is my favorite person on the planet. She raised me when my father and mother divorced, and neither wanted to raise me. I was heartbroken for many years after that. If it weren’t for my Aunt Betty, I would have been put into foster care since my parents didn’t want me.

I slowly opened the envelope, and my Aunt Betty said, “Dear Marie, I’m afraid I have some bad news for you. Do you remember the old commercial on TV where the old woman said, “I’ve fallen and can’t get up?” Well, I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up. I know you are busy with your work, but is there any way you can come and take care of me while I recover? I broke one of my legs and will have to use a walker for a while. I have been assured that I will be up and walking, but it will take a while, and I will need to go and get physical therapy until my leg heals. If you can’t come, I understand, and I will have to go to a nursing home until I heal. Please call me as soon as you know if you can come. Love, Aunt Betty.

I picked up my cell phone and called my Aunt Betty. I waited and waited while the phone rang. Then I heard someone pick up and, in a very low voice, say,” Hello, is someone there? Is someone there?”

“Yes, Aunt Betty, it’s me, Marie. Of course, I can come. I have some vacation time left, or I could do my online work. Do you have the internet, Aunt Betty?”

“ Well, you probably won’t believe this, but I recently installed the internet in my house. All my neighbors kept haunting me day and night to get it installed, and I did. It took a while, but it’s working now.”

“Aunt Betty, I will have to inform my employer what I will be doing, but there shouldn’t be any problem at all. I will give you a call tomorrow when I am about to leave, and call you when I’m an hour away. I’m so sorry you got hurt, I love you, Aunt Betty, I’ll see you seen. She said, “Oh, you are such an angel. “I love you, too. I can’t wait to see you again. Bye, see you tomorrow.” And then she hung up.

I contacted my employers and let them know what I was doing. They didn’t have a problem as long as I continued to complete my work on time. Thank God for the internet; that’s all I can say. I spent the rest of the day packing my stuff, including my laptop and printer. I made some sandwiches and iced tea for the long trip and decided to go to bed early since tomorrow would be a long day.

I had a somewhat restless night. I kept waking up and looking at the clock, afraid I would oversleep. But the alarm woke me up right on time. I took a quick shower and got dressed. I left a note in the mailbox and asked the mailman to tell the post office to hold my mail until I called them and let them know when I would be back from my Aunt’s house.

I put my suitcases in the trunk. I hoped all my plants wouldn’t die, but if they did, they did. My aunt was more important than any plant. The whole time I was driving to my aunt’s house, I thought of all the good memories of my aunt and the childhood I spent with her. She is truly the most loving and caring person I have ever known. And I would do anything I could for her, as she had done for me. I do not remember a single complaint from my Aunt when I was living with her, even during those teenage years when I must have been difficult at times. It took me a long time to make friends at the school I attended while I lived with my aunt. Every day, she made me breakfast, packed my lunch, and met me where the bus let me out. She was never late, she gave me a big hug when she saw me, as if she hadn’t seen me in days or even weeks. And oh, how I loved her hugs,

My parents were not big on showing affection. Nor did they ever seem that interested in my experiences in school or who my friends were. And once their marital problems appeared, things just went downhill from there. First, my father moved out, and then my mother informed me that I would be living with my Aunt Betty since she would have to work full-time now. She would have to live in a small one-bedroom apartment in the city, and there wouldn’t be any room for me anymore. As soon as my mother told me that, it felt like my heart broke in two. My father said, “You be a good girl, I hope to see you sometime soon. And he was out the door, and he never looked back. I never heard from him again. I’ve only seen my mother once a year at Christmas since then. Sometimes, she didn’t come at all and just sent me a Christmas Card with ten dollars in it. I wrote long, long letters to my father and mother. Telling them how much I missed them. And asking them when they were coming to get me. Over time, it became clear to me that they would never get me. And if a heart can break in two, I believe my heart did, or maybe it was shattered altogether. And I would never be able to feel whole again.

My Aunt Betty was the kindest, most loving person I ever knew in my entire life. It is only because of her that I learned there are caring and loving people in the world. I was a person of value who could do anything I wanted to do in life if I set my mind to it. And they never lost faith in me because of her. And if I had to spend the rest of my life caring for her, I would do it. As I recalled all these memories, I realized how much I missed my Aunt Betty, not just her wonderful cooking, but everything about her, her hugs, her kisses. Every day I spent with her was a good day, living where she loved me and would do anything for me if I needed it.

Before I realized it, I was within three miles of my aunt, and I gave her a call to let her know. She didn’t answer the phone,  I realized it must be the nurse or caregiver who was talking. I explained, this is Marie, Aunt Betty’s niece. I will be at the house in about fifteen minutes. Would you please let my aunt know I’ll be there soon? She said, “Yes, I will. She has been looking forward to you. She will be so happy. See you soon.”
The last fifteen minutes of the drive flew by, and before I knew it, I was at my aunt’s home. And so many good memories came flying back to my mind. It looked the same. To tell the truth, it looked like heaven to me. I parked the car under the Willow tree and grabbed my bags out of the trunk. And before I knew it, I was knocking on the door. One of the caretakers came to the door with a big smile on her face and said. “Miss Betty has been so looking forward to you. Oh, I forgot my name, Teresa. Could I take those bags for you? Miss Betty will be so happy.”

I handed over my bags and I said, “ I have a few other bags, but I’ll bring them in later, don’t worry about it. And I ran up the steps two at a time. I looked around the house, and it didn’t look any different from the last time I was here. I couldn’t imagine coming here without my aunt living here. The very thought of the rest of my life without her loving presence in my life would be hard to endure. But, somewhere at the back of my mind, I knew my Aunt Betty didn’t have much time in her life. And I also realized that I would be staying here with my dear aunt for whatever time she had left on this planet. When I quietly knocked on her door, I heard her sweet voice say: “Marie, is that you? Oh, I’ve never been so happy to see anyone in my whole life. Please come over and give me a hug.” I didn’t know it at the time, but it would be the last hug I gave my dear aunt.

I pulled up a rocking chair next to her bed and quietly watched her as she closed her eyes, and then, about five minutes later, I saw my dear aunt take her last breath and close her eyes. And I knew that my dear aunt had left this world, and I would miss her for the rest of my days. But I know she will always live in my heart and memories. And that someday, when my life would come to an end. We would meet again. I felt warm tears run down my face as I held her wrinkled hands and heard her take her last breath. This is the person who has loved me unconditionally my entire life. And I knew that someday we would meet again. But, until then, I would keep her in my heart and in my thoughts.