Author Archives: Susan

GROWING UP IN MAPLE SHADE, AND SO ON AND SO ON

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GROWING UP IN MAPLE SHADE, NEW JERSEY, AND SO ON AND SO ON

I was born in 1951 in the Burlington County Hospital in New Jersey. I have a fraternal twin sister. Which means we were born at the same time. But we were not identical. I just celebrated my 74th birthday. Two days ago. I know seventy-four seems old to most people, especially the younger ones. I know I am no longer young, but I keep moving forward one day at a time. I try not to waste too much time being disappointed or angry. Life goes by quickly, so don’t waste it. And it’s true you only live once.

On the other hand, I can look back over my seventy-four years and think, although I’ve made a few mistakes along life’s highways, I have had an interesting and challenging life. And I do not regret a moment of it. Have I made some mistakes? Well, hell yes. But, I don’t regret the mistakes because I learned from them, and I made it a point not to repeat the same stupid mistake.

I am a baby boomer, and I must say that we baby boomers had generally great childhoods. We had a whole lot of freedom, our parents would tell us Don’t be late for dinner or lunch but that’s about it. After dinner, in the summer, we used to stay out until dark, and the only reason we came in early was if the mosquitoes were eating us alive. I grew up in New Jersey, so you know there were a million mosquitoes. In fact, during the Summer, my friends and I would stay out until dark and follow the mosquito truck that was spraying bug killer up and down all the streets in our little town. We never considered that the spray might have been toxic to us as well. And neither did our parents seem concerned about it. And so far, I haven’t noticed any adverse side effects. But, since it’s been some sixty years since that. I think I’m safe.LOL.

We used to shoot off bottle rockets and other dangerous things. Somehow, I never managed to kill myself or do permanent damage. In addition, few of my generation grew up with air conditioning. We were lucky if there was a fan in the living room, where we spent all our free time watching some TV show, like Gunsmoke. There were a whole lot of cowboy shows back then.

When we weren’t outside getting eaten alive by mosquitoes, my friends and I would ride our bikes all over South Jersey. Our parents never asked where we were; we just had to be home in time for lunch and dinner. After dinner, we would go back outside and play until our mothers would scream out at the top of their lungs,” TIME TO COME IN.” By then, we had so many bites it didn’t matter because all the windows in our houses were open. After all, it was hot as hell in our home, especially the second floor, which was a part of the attic. The mosquitoes would buzz around and around your head until you pulled the covers up over your head. Honestly, I don’t know how I survived all those unbelievably hot summers and the bugs.

I came from a family of six and my parents. My twin sister and I were the youngest. I had one brother, twenty years older than I, and three sisters who were older than I. Most of the families that lived on our street, Fellowship Road, were Catholic. My family lived two houses down from Our Lady of Perpetual Help Church. And in addition to that. I attended twelve years of Catholic school. The high School I attended was St. Mary of the Angels Academy in Haddonfield, NJ. It was an all-girl’s highschool.

When I graduated from high school, I was offered a job as a dental assistant. I took the job because there was no way my parents could afford to send my twin and me to college. So, I spent the next five years working as a dental assistant. It took up all my time, because I worked during the day and in the evening, when Dr. Wozniak often had adult patients. After about four years, I decided to look for another job so I would have some free time.

I applied for a position at Ellis Insurance, a company based in Haddon Township, NJ. I worked there for several years as well; It was an interesting place to work because the Ellis Brothers had practically no work ethic, and we spent a lot of time going out to breakfast and lunch. One day, they took all of us who worked there to the race track. And of course selling, “high-risk auto insurance.

By this time, I had decided to move out of my parents’ house, and I rented an apartment in Haddonfield, right down the street from the library and downtown Haddonfield, where I had attended St. Mary of the Angels Academy high school. So, I felt right at home.

At about this time, my best childhood friend, Joan, told me that her cousin Bob was coming to visit. Since he had just gotten out of the Navy, she knew I had always had a crush on him, and she asked if I wanted to come over. “ I said, ‘Yes.” And that, friends, was the beginning of a whole new chapter in my life as Bob and I did connect. And after he returned to Florida, where his family was currently living. We started writing back and forth. And over time, I eventually quit my job and moved to Florida. I was able to find employment at a Home Insurance Company. And worked there for a short time until I found better employment that paid more. And that’s when I decided to attend hairdressing school. I’m not entirely sure why I made that choice since I never had any desire to be a hairdresser. I didn’t pay that much attention to my hair.

But, nonetheless, I completed the program and eventually found a job. Mostly, I found myself giving perms to older ladies; I also met many young people taking the hairdressing course. And I made many friends. Overall, it was a good experience, and regardless of where Bob and I went, I was able to earn money doing hair.

At one point, Bob decided he wanted to go to Brooks Institute in California, and that is precisely what we did. When we arrived there and found a small apartment, Bob started his education. I got a job at a large department store, called Robinson’s Department Store, selling hats and wigs.

I was befrieded by a young woman who worked part-time there and she told me about a job working with mildly retarded children at St. Vincent’s School. And I thought that was a great opportunity and a million times more interesting than selling hats and wigs. And sure enough, after interviewing me, I was hired. I ended up loving this position, and I loved those kids like they were my own. I worked there for the rest of the time that Bob attended Brooks Institute. I came to love those kids like they were my own. And when Bob was about to graduate, we decided there were more opportunities in the Philadelphia area than in California.

It was difficult leaving all those kids behind, since I had come to love each one of them. Nonetheless, we packed up what worldly things we had and drove back to the Philadelphia/New Jersey area. We stayed at my parents’ childhood home for about a year, until we decided to buy a house. We were able to do so because Bob had served in the military, which allowed him to take out a home loan without a down payment, as he was eligible for a military benefit. It was in the small town of Pennsauken, New Jersey, and we lived there for fourteen years. We had two children while we were living there for fourteen years. We came to know and make friends with almost all our neighbors. It was a good experience.

 

 

Saint Mary Of The Angels Academy 1965-1969

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Saint Mary of The Angels Academy

My first memory of St. Mary’s was getting measured for the school uniform. I couldn’t get away from wearing uniforms. I wore a different uniform in Catholic Elementary School. But, on the upside, I wasn’t wearing hand-me-downs anymore. The first year I attended St. Mary of the Angels Academy, a private, Catholic, all-girl high school in Haddonfield, NJ, was the Fall of 1965. I spent my freshman year going to high school in a house that used to be a boarding school for rich girls. It was a Victorian house on King’s Highway in Haddonfield—a town where wealthy people lived.

The house was Victorian. It had winding staircases, bathrooms with claw-footed tubs, and fireplaces in the classrooms. It was a unique experience. About 200 female students attended the school. Most were from well-to-do families in Southern, NJ, which included Haddonfield.

My dear mother is the kindest person I was lucky enough to have for a mother.

My family was not wealthy. My father worked for Septa, the Philadelphia Transportation Company, as the district manager for over thirty years. My father took a second mortgage out on our house so we could attend St. Mary’s. I believe my mother wanted to keep us away from the boys.

I became even shyer and avoided boys altogether—however, the rest of the SMAA (ST. Mary of the Angels Academy and most of the rest of the student population were obsessed with boys. Spending endless hours discussing how to meet boys, kiss boys, etc. It was the sixtie,s make love, not war generation.

I had an “elite” group of friends: Christine Conn, Mary Beth Elliot, Delores O’Hearn, Anne Marie Rafferty, and Janice Short(who left after Freshman year. My sister, Karen, had her own friends, a more popular group. I spent most of my time at SMAA complaining about the nuns trying to avoid taking showers and going to the gym.

When I entered 10th grade, the house (school) was demolished and knocked down, and a vast new school was erected, state-of-the-art for that time period. But it certainly lacked the charm of attending school in a Victorian house with chandeliers. I did not excel in school as I lacked confidence in my intelligence. As I had spent my childhood hearing from my father that he didn’t know if I was lazy or just plain stupid. Karen probably did better, but probably would have done much better if she hadn’t procrastinated and spent so much time avoiding her school work. Let’s say that both Karen and I did not livie up to our potential.

The nuns(or sisters, as we called them) who taught the students were Franciscan, which was a difficult job. Their highest concerns at the time seemed to be keeping everyone’s hair out of their eyes and making sure the tuition was paid on time. This concern became more understandable when the school went bankrupt the year after we graduated.

It is difficult for me to remember the good times. I can’t really say that high school was an enjoyable experience for me. Although I had my own group of friends, I wasn’t really accepted into the general population of the school. I was shy and had a somewhat offbeat sense of humor, and I was received differently than most kids my age. I never experimented with drugs or alcohol, as some kids my age were doing.

My life at home stayed pretty much the same. All my siblings were out of the house except for my twin, Karen. My siblings had all married and had families of their own. My parents got along by having very little conversation at all. My father continued to work for SEPTA until he was 62, and then he retired. My mother worked at Wanamaker’s as a cook in the employees’ kitchen until my senior year of high school. I believe she was fifty-nine at the time. She worked hard all her life for our family and never even whispered a word of complaint. I often wondered how much happiness she experienced in her life. I fear precious little at all.

There was a great deal of turmoil politically at that time, 1969. The war in Vietnam was in full force. Many of my grade school friends (boys) were drafted. Many did not return alive or were permanently altered. There was a great deal of drug experimentation going on at the same time. I was not a participant in any of it.

My senior year of high school, I was offerend a full-time job at Dr. E.G. Wozniak, a local dentist I Oaklyn, New Jersey. I was offered a job at his dental office as a dental assistant and receptionist. I stayed there until I was twenty-one. I had a quiet life. When I was twenty-one, I met a boy through my brother-in-law, David Gatelein. He was about one year older than I. He gave me my first kiss—no big thrill. But I had little knowledge of sex. And my first experience with him was not great. Probably, because I hadn’t formed any real attachment to him, it turned out that David, though a nice looking boy was pretty screwed up. He had spent three years in Vietnam. He was given a dishonorable discharge because he attempted to “frag” (kill) his commanding officer. He dumped me like a bad habit. And I was deeply hurt by the whole thing. It took me a long time to get over it. But, eventually, I did. It turned out that he was an alcoholic, and once I found that out, I stopped talking to him. And that was the end of that.

After I quit Dr. Wozniak, I got a job at Ancora State Mental Hospital through my brother, Harry, who had worked there at one point as a psychologist. I was trained as a nurse’s aide with females in the active psyche ward. I had hoped to work with emotionally disturbed children. It didn’t last long, and it was a very bad experience.I only stayed at Ancora for a year.

Then I found a job working for the Ellis Brothers, who sold high-risk Auto Insurance. It was not a difficult job, and for the most part, I enjoyed working there because the Ellis Brothers didn’t have very strong work ethics and often wanted to go out and do something fun, including going out to breakfast every workday. And they paid.

In early 1972, my best friend Joanie set up a date with her first cousin Bob Culver, who had just left the Navy. I had a crush on him since I was about ten years old. That was the beginning of a whole new chapter of my life, which will be published next week.

 

TEMPLE UNIVERSITY

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     Once upon a time, when I was thirty-six years old, I decided to go to college. It was 1988. That’s right, I said college. Not only was I thirty-six years old, but I also had two young daughters. Jeanette was six years old, and Bridget was three. I didn’t have the opportunity to attend college at the traditional age of eighteen. My parents did not have the money to send me to college. I started working full-time as a dental assistant at eighteen. When I was twenty-two my now husband and I started seeing each other. He had just gotten out of the Navy. He was my best girlfriend’s boy cousin, and I had known him since I was about ten years old, and I had always had a crush on him. His family was living in Florida at the time. We corresponded for about a year. And I decided to move to Florida, and the rest is history. I found a job and started working full-time for an insurance Company. I hated that and decided to go to hairdressing school. It was called the Florida Beauty Academy.
Meanwhile, Bob was working late shifts. Ultimately, he decided he wanted to go to Brooks Institute for Photography, and he applied and was accepted. So, the next thing we knew, we were on our way to California. After he graduated, we decided to move back to the Philadelphia area for better opportunities in Photography.

This is our former home in NJ where I taught Art for many years to children and adults.

     We temporarily lived with my parents for about a year until Bob decided we should buy a house. Since he had served in the military, we could buy a house without paying down. The house was about twenty-five years old and needed some work. It was only about a fifteen-minute drive to my hometown of Maple Shade, where my parents lived.

     At this point, I realized that if we were going to have a family, we better get started since I was about to turn thirty. Unfortunately, it took me several years to become pregnant. First, Jeanette was born, and then Bridget three years later. Bob had found a good job by then, but unfortunately, it was not in photography; it was in electronics. As it turned out, he was quite successful working in electronics.

     Time flew by quickly, and Jeanette and Bridget grew up before I knew it. Jeanette went to kindergarten and first grade, while Bridget, three years younger, was in daycare. Meanwhile, I decided that sometime in the not-too-distant future, I would go to college. Since I did not have that opportunity after graduating from High School, I worked full-time as a dental assistant for several years.

     I had to take an exam before I was accepted into Temple University. I passed and was accepted into the Freshman Class the following September. The first day of my Freshman class I was the first to arrive even the teachers hadn’t arrived yet. So, I walked all around the campus, and the first person I met was a middle-aged man working in the front gardens. I asked if he could direct me to the Graphics design classroom. It turned out that he had a heavy Irish accent. But, somehow, I managed to figure out what he was saying. He told me to follow him and walked me to the correct building.

     I was the first one to arrive—shocking, huh? I decided to walk around the rest of the campus until it was almost time for the rest of the student body to show up. I kept peeking at the parking lot to see if anyone had arrived. Finally, I just sat down at one of the desks and waited. Finally, some students, really young-looking students, started coming into the classroom and sitting down.

     Every single one of the students, male and female, asked me if I was the instructor. After a while, I said, No, I’m not the teacher. And then they would look at me again. I guess they couldn’t imagine that I was a student. Considering that I was twice their age, I didn’t blame them. Over time, I made it my business to befriend every student in all my classes. And sure enough, they came to accept me as a fellow student and forgot about the age gap.

     When the Graphic Design teacher came in, she did a roll call. She gave me a long look, but once she realized my name was on the list, she just let the whole age thing go. As the day went on and I went to each class I was scheduled to take the first day, I began to feel comfortable in my skin and kept up my promise to introduce myself to every student in each class and ask them about themselves.

     The next day that I went to Temple, I decided that every day I would sit at a different lunch table and talk to the students at the tables, ask them their names, what class they were in, and what degree they were working towards. I even decided to introduce myself to everyone who worked at Temple, regardless of their position, lunch lady, professor, or staff member in the office. I befriended everyone over time.

     I must admit that attending college full-time with two young children was no piece of cake. My youngest, Bridget, was in a Christian Day Care Center. Jeanette was in elementary school. After school, my friend Maryanne Czyzewski’s husband watched them until I arrived home. They had a daughter who was a year younger than Jeanette. When I was on Spring Break or during the Summer, I didn’t take any college classes. And I would take care of Maryanne and Jimmy’s daughter, Laura, every weekday until they came home from work. She was a sweet little girl with no trouble at all. Jeanette loved her.

     The four years at Temple were challenging, to say the least. I went to school all day, did homework and research at night, and completed required drawings and paintings for classes, not to mention the hours and hours I spent reading textbooks on Science, history, etc., and studying for tests.

     The most time-consuming work was graphic design. I can’t tell you how many hours I spent on graphic design work for four years. I studied and completed complex paintings and the work for all my other classes. It was intense and time-consuming, but I loved it. I enjoyed the challenge, the students, and most of the teachers.

     It was the most challenging and exciting time of my life. I would do it all again. I graduated in 1992, when I was forty-one years old. I received a standing ovation when my name was called out at graduation. I never had a prouder moment than when I was handed my diploma.

     And all the students clapped their hands when my name was called out, and I accepted my diploma. I spent the rest of the Spring and the Summer with my kids and sent resumes to all the elementary and secondary schools in New Jersey. And I received no responses. Then, I found that New Jersey would no longer finance funding for art education at the elementary, middle, or high school level. So, I started sending resumes to Philadelphia elementary schools to no avail. They were not hiring art teachers either. I was heartbroken.

     One day, in the newspaper, I found a large house for sale in Pitman, New Jersey. It had been empty for eight years, and the owners had died. So, we went to an open house the next weekend, and I decided that this was where I would teach art. A doctor and his wife had owned it for many years, but had passed away.

     We put a down payment on the house in Pitman. Our home in Pennsauken did not sell right away, so we advertised that we would sell the house as a rent-to-buy. Their rent payment would be the down payment. Then, they would have to take out a mortgage and pay the balance. And through some miracle, it all worked out.

     We lived in our house in Pitman for twenty-four years. During that time, I renovated three of the rooms the previous owner used for his practice as art rooms. I named my business THE ART ROOM. And I made a flag with that sign on it. And put an Ad in the local newspaper called THE PITMAN NEWS AND WORLD REPORT. This was in September of 1994. I taught art to children after school and to Adults in the evening. It was a great experience, and I became familiar with almost everyone who lived in town and some people in the nearby cities. I have to say it was one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done in my life. And if given a chance, I would do it again.

     Bob and I put our house in Pitman up for sale. We had spent many years renovating the house inside and out, including putting a new roof on it and the old garage. I had spent years creating a beautiful garden in the front and back, including a small Koi Pond. We would have loved to live there for the rest of our lives, but the truth was that the real estate taxes in New Jersey are very high, and once we both retired, we couldn’t afford the taxes and the upkeep of such a large home. So, I started investigating the internet about the most affordable states to retire to. And I concluded that North Carolina was the place for us. And here we are, nearly nine years later, living in a smaller home that we have improved over time, including enlarging the gardens and adding a pond. I no longer teach art. But, it is still dear to my heart.

     I have kept myself active by volunteering at an animal sanctuary and caring for exotic birds. You never know where life will take you, but I know that although I am no longer young, I will continue to participate in life with all my energy. You will never see me just sitting around; I will always move forward until I reach the end.

 

WHERE WOULD WE BE WITHOUT THE ANGELS THAT COME INTO OUR LIVES

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It all began one rainy Spring morning. I kept hoping the rain would stop since it had rained daily for the last two weeks. I know that April showers bring May flowers, but could we please have at least one day when the sun is shining? I was expecting a package in the mail, so I knew I would have to make a run for the mailbox sooner or later since there were at least five days of mail in my mailbox. I know it’s mostly crap, but still, I was hoping I would get a surprise package from my Aunt Betty since today was my birthday. And she always sent me a birthday card and a gift.

I decided to put on my old raincoat and run for the mailbox. Lo and behold, my dear aunt had not left me down. When I opened the mailbox, a package was shoved way back in it, along with a whole big pile of junk mail. I have no idea how my name got on every junk mail list. 

I grabbed the mail and the package and ran for the side door as quickly as possible. And just as I was about to grab the door handle, I lost my footing and fell flat on my face. The mail was scattered in every direction. I groaned and moaned. It felt like I chipped my front tooth. The one I just had capped recently cost me almost five hundred dollars since they had to do a root canal and a crown. If I weren’t lying on the cold, wet cement driveway, I would have started crying.

I made it to the door, pulled it open as quickly as possible, and smacked myself. I felt a tear, and then another ran down my cheek. I realized that it was raining even harder in addition to my tears. I gingerly picked myself up and slowly went through the door. Luckily, the package was in one piece, but the mail was scattered everywhere and was getting wetter by the minute. I wiped away the tears and ran for my life. Well, that could be a slight exaggeration. But, most likely, I would get a cold or pneumonia from the soaking rain. Or, once again, I may be exaggerating.

I made it into the house without any further drama. I put the mail on the kitchen table and then moved it to the top of the kitchen heating vent to dry. Most likely, It was all junk mail, and it wouldn’t matter one way or the other. I decided I would do the laundry and then vacuum all the rugs. Before I knew it, I cleaned the bathrooms, including the tub, shower, and toilet. Suddenly, I had a burst of energy and decided to vacuum all the bedrooms and clean the windows on the inside. I tend to get carried away with whatever I’m doing. And this, my friends, is why I’m not married and never will be. I drive everyone away with my manic behavior. What can I say, like Popeye used to say, “I am who I am.”

After I finished cleaning the whole house, I considered going out and looking at my garden, but then I remembered it was pouring outside, and the plants would be delicate without me today or whenever it stopped raining. I made myself a cup of hot tea and peanut butter on toast. This has been my favorite breakfast since I was a kid. I love peanut butter. After finishing my breakfast and cleaning up my mess, I decided to examine the mail and see if any of it was worth looking at or if it was all junk mail, as expected.

Then I realized that two letters were stuck together, and the letter on the bottom was from my Aunt Betty. I was so happy that she wrote to me. She is my favorite person on the planet. She raised me when my father and mother divorced, and neither wanted to raise me. I was heartbroken for many years after that. If it weren’t for my Aunt Betty, I would have been put into foster care since my parents didn’t want me.

I slowly opened the envelope, and my Aunt Betty said, “Dear Marie, I’m afraid I have some bad news for you. Do you remember the old commercial on TV where the old woman said, “I’ve fallen and can’t get up?” Well, I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up. I know you are busy with your work, but is there any way you can come and take care of me while I recover? I broke one of my legs and will have to use a walker for a while. I have been assured that I will be up and walking, but it will take a while, and I will need to go and get physical therapy until my leg heals. If you can’t come, I understand, and I will have to go to a nursing home until I heal. Please call me as soon as you know if you can come. Love, Aunt Betty.

I picked up my cell phone and called my Aunt Betty. I waited and waited while the phone rang. Then I heard someone pick up and, in a very low voice, say,” Hello, is someone there? Is someone there?”

“Yes, Aunt Betty, it’s me, Marie. Of course, I can come. I have some vacation time left, or I could do my online work. Do you have the internet, Aunt Betty?”

“ Well, you probably won’t believe this, but I recently installed the internet in my house. All my neighbors kept haunting me day and night to get it installed, and I did. It took a while, but it’s working now.”

“Aunt Betty, I will have to inform my employer what I will be doing, but there shouldn’t be any problem at all. I will give you a call tomorrow when I am about to leave, and call you when I’m an hour away. I’m so sorry you got hurt, I love you, Aunt Betty, I’ll see you seen. She said, “Oh, you are such an angel. “I love you, too. I can’t wait to see you again. Bye, see you tomorrow.” And then she hung up.

I contacted my employers and let them know what I was doing. They didn’t have a problem as long as I continued to complete my work on time. Thank God for the internet; that’s all I can say. I spent the rest of the day packing my stuff, including my laptop and printer. I made some sandwiches and iced tea for the long trip and decided to go to bed early since tomorrow would be a long day.

I had a somewhat restless night. I kept waking up and looking at the clock, afraid I would oversleep. But the alarm woke me up right on time. I took a quick shower and got dressed. I left a note in the mailbox and asked the mailman to tell the post office to hold my mail until I called them and let them know when I would be back from my Aunt’s house.

I put my suitcases in the trunk. I hoped all my plants wouldn’t die, but if they did, they did. My aunt was more important than any plant. The whole time I was driving to my aunt’s house, I thought of all the good memories of my aunt and the childhood I spent with her. She is truly the most loving and caring person I have ever known. And I would do anything I could for her, as she had done for me. I do not remember a single complaint from my Aunt when I was living with her, even during those teenage years when I must have been difficult at times. It took me a long time to make friends at the school I attended while I lived with my aunt. Every day, she made me breakfast, packed my lunch, and met me where the bus let me out. She was never late, she gave me a big hug when she saw me, as if she hadn’t seen me in days or even weeks. And oh, how I loved her hugs,

My parents were not big on showing affection. Nor did they ever seem that interested in my experiences in school or who my friends were. And once their marital problems appeared, things just went downhill from there. First, my father moved out, and then my mother informed me that I would be living with my Aunt Betty since she would have to work full-time now. She would have to live in a small one-bedroom apartment in the city, and there wouldn’t be any room for me anymore. As soon as my mother told me that, it felt like my heart broke in two. My father said, “You be a good girl, I hope to see you sometime soon. And he was out the door, and he never looked back. I never heard from him again. I’ve only seen my mother once a year at Christmas since then. Sometimes, she didn’t come at all and just sent me a Christmas Card with ten dollars in it. I wrote long, long letters to my father and mother. Telling them how much I missed them. And asking them when they were coming to get me. Over time, it became clear to me that they would never get me. And if a heart can break in two, I believe my heart did, or maybe it was shattered altogether. And I would never be able to feel whole again.

My Aunt Betty was the kindest, most loving person I ever knew in my entire life. It is only because of her that I learned there are caring and loving people in the world. I was a person of value who could do anything I wanted to do in life if I set my mind to it. And they never lost faith in me because of her. And if I had to spend the rest of my life caring for her, I would do it. As I recalled all these memories, I realized how much I missed my Aunt Betty, not just her wonderful cooking, but everything about her, her hugs, her kisses. Every day I spent with her was a good day, living where she loved me and would do anything for me if I needed it.

Before I realized it, I was within three miles of my aunt, and I gave her a call to let her know. She didn’t answer the phone,  I realized it must be the nurse or caregiver who was talking. I explained, this is Marie, Aunt Betty’s niece. I will be at the house in about fifteen minutes. Would you please let my aunt know I’ll be there soon? She said, “Yes, I will. She has been looking forward to you. She will be so happy. See you soon.”
The last fifteen minutes of the drive flew by, and before I knew it, I was at my aunt’s home. And so many good memories came flying back to my mind. It looked the same. To tell the truth, it looked like heaven to me. I parked the car under the Willow tree and grabbed my bags out of the trunk. And before I knew it, I was knocking on the door. One of the caretakers came to the door with a big smile on her face and said. “Miss Betty has been so looking forward to you. Oh, I forgot my name, Teresa. Could I take those bags for you? Miss Betty will be so happy.”

I handed over my bags and I said, “ I have a few other bags, but I’ll bring them in later, don’t worry about it. And I ran up the steps two at a time. I looked around the house, and it didn’t look any different from the last time I was here. I couldn’t imagine coming here without my aunt living here. The very thought of the rest of my life without her loving presence in my life would be hard to endure. But, somewhere at the back of my mind, I knew my Aunt Betty didn’t have much time in her life. And I also realized that I would be staying here with my dear aunt for whatever time she had left on this planet. When I quietly knocked on her door, I heard her sweet voice say: “Marie, is that you? Oh, I’ve never been so happy to see anyone in my whole life. Please come over and give me a hug.” I didn’t know it at the time, but it would be the last hug I gave my dear aunt.

I pulled up a rocking chair next to her bed and quietly watched her as she closed her eyes, and then, about five minutes later, I saw my dear aunt take her last breath and close her eyes. And I knew that my dear aunt had left this world, and I would miss her for the rest of my days. But I know she will always live in my heart and memories. And that someday, when my life would come to an end. We would meet again. I felt warm tears run down my face as I held her wrinkled hands and heard her take her last breath. This is the person who has loved me unconditionally my entire life. And I knew that someday we would meet again. But, until then, I would keep her in my heart and in my thoughts.

GROWING UP CARBERRY

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My Dear Mother

My maiden name was Susan Carberry, and my family of origin was from Ireland. I grew up in a large family with five siblings. I was a fraternal twin. Being in a large family had its advantages and its disadvantages. One of the advantages was that you were rarely alone. One of the disadvantages was that I was never alone. I shared my room with my twin sister, Karen. And with my two older sisters, Eileen and Betty. My eldest sister, Jeanie, had her room as well as my oldest sibling, Harry, who had his own room.

Another disadvantage, I being the youngest and the smallest, was that I was the last in line to receive the hand-me-down clothes. We did all get a new Easter outfit every year. Sometimes, we have to pick out the clothes ourselves, sometimes not. If my father picked out the clothes, you could bet they were durable and extremely ugly.

We Carberrys were good Catholics, despite not having a lot of money. We all attended Catholic School through high school. This meant we wore uniforms. In grade school, there were maroon wool jumpers with a white blouse. And of course, a beanie on the girl’s head. The beanie had the emblem of OLPH School on it, which stood for Our Lady of Perpetual Help. In highschool I attended St. Mary of The Angel’s Academy. It was an all-girl school. We wore navy blue uniforms, the skirts were pleated and didn’t look good on anyone, unless they were really thin. Going to Catholic School meant nuns taught us, which is another benefit???

House I grew up in. and my father's first car

My parent’s house and my father’s first car

Sunday morning meant Sunday Mass and a big breakfast with the whole family. My mother fried bacon and then fried the eggs in the bacon grease, which was kept in a coffee tin on the stove. My father’s job was to butter the toast, generously, I might add. My mother made a special cake on Sunday morning for dessert after supper. It was half vanilla and half chocolate, with pudding in between the layers and coconut on the icing.

For supper, we always had a roast and potatoes. Supper was a quiet affair at our house; my father was not a fan of free speech. He did not care for any opinions that did not agree with his. He was a great believer in children being seen and not heard, especially while watching TV, which was any night he didn’t have to work. My father was the head dispatcher at SEPTA, the transit company in Philadelphia, for thirty years. My father was an intelligent man. My father slept during the day, and it would behoove you not to wake him up; you would regret it. He was called “The Old Bear” for a reason.

After school, my mother could be found ironing without fail. She ironed all our clothes, sheets, socks, and towels. These were days before wash-and-wear garments. Any clothes that weren’t washed one day would be sprinkled with water, rolled up, and stored in the refrigerator until the next day. My mother would always offer us cookies and milk or crackers with peanut butter and jelly as a snack after school.

Life in our house was very predictable; we had the same thing for dinner each night of the week. On Sundays, it was roast and potatoes; on Mondays, it was meatloaf and mashed potatoes. A special treat was on the first Friday of the month. When we Catholics couldn’t eat meat. We had tuna fish casserole, with potato chips on top. My mother was not a creative cook, but we never went away hungry. And we never had to ask “What’s for dinner?”

We watched the same TV shows each week. Monday through Friday we went t school. Saturday, we played with our friends, of whom there were many. On Sunday, we had the “special cake.” I attended the children’s Mass every Sunday at nine o’clock with all the other kids from my elementary school.

When my sister and I came home from Mass, my mother had breakfast ready. She always attended the 7 AM Mass with her Altar Rosary Society. She was a very devout woman. She attended Mass every single morning and said the rosary in the afternoon after she had finished all her housework. My father- 1960's

After school, I went home. Our house was only two houses away from the school. When I arrived home, my mother was always bent over the ironing board, ironing everyone’s clothes. She ironed everything, including clothes, sheets, etc.

My dear mother always offered us cookies and milk or crackers with peanut butter as snacks after school.

Life in our house was predictable. We ate the same thing for dinner every night, every day of the week. For instance, we had tuna fish every Friday, especially on First Friday, when we weren’t supposed to eat meat. Although my mother was not a creative cook, we never went away hungry. And like I said, there was always that homemade cake to look forward to.

We watched the same TV Shows as well, the shows my father liked, he was the boss applesauce. On Saturdays, we played with our friends. Sunday, as I said, was the “Big Breakfast Day.” And dinner on Sunday was usually a roast beef. Our birthdays were a big event, getting a new toy and having a birthday cake with candles. After that, we looked forward to Christmas. My father was a bit of a grinch, but didn’t dampen our anticipation. My mother always made it special. My mother was the kindest, most hardworking person I ever knew. I feel so blessed to have had such a kind and loving mother. I still miss her to this day.

My father was a man of few words but made his feelings known by a look. And that was all it took to get his point across. His nickname was “THE BIG BEAR.” The kitchen was an essential element in our house. All important events took place in the kitchen.

My mother always had a comforting word for us if we had a bad day. If we were acting out, she would say,” Wait until your father gets home.” That would definitely change our tune.

Ultimately, our home was not all that different from other homes in the 1940s, 1950s, and 1960s. I had a father who earned money and paid the bills but was not involved in raising the kids unless there was a serious problem. Sisters and brothers who loved and hated each other lived in the “CARBERRY HOME.” It was two doors down from Our Lady of Perpetual HELP church and school.

 

LIFE AS I KNEW IT

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My dear mother, when she was young

     It is the year 2025, and in May, I will be seventy-four. It is hard to believe because I certainly don’t feel that old, but I am going to be that old. This fact makes me reflect on my parent when they were that age. My father died from lung cancer in 1986, and my mother died from congestive heart failure one year later. My mother was born in 1910 and my father was born in 1911. They were married in 1929. They lived in Philadelphia for a time and ultimately purchased a home my father helped build in Maple Shade, New Jersey.

     They had eight children in all. Unfortunately, a set of male twins that were born after my twin sister and I were born did not survive as they were born prematurely. They were buried in a cemetery in Moorestown, New Jersey.

House I grew up in.

CHILDHOOD HOME

     My oldest sibling, Harry, was twenty years older than I, and my oldest sister, Jeanie, was nineteen years older. My sister, Eillen, is eight years older than I am, and my sister Liz is seven years older than I am. My eldest sister, Jeanie, passed away when she was forty-one. She developed Alpha-1 antitrypsin (AAT) deficiency ( a genetic disorder), causing emphysema. No one else in our family developed this disorder aside from her.

     My sister, Jeanette, was one of the kindest, funniest, and most beautiful people I ever knew. My brother, Hugh Carberry, was twenty years older than I. He passed away five years ago when he was eighty-five. He was a practicing psychologist who spent his life helping people. He was an outstanding father and husband.

THIS IS MY STUDENT ID WHEN I ATTENDED TEMPLE UNIVERSITY AT THE TYLER SCHOOL OF ART. I WAS 36.

My next oldest sister is Eileen, who is eight years older than my twin, Karen, and me. She is one of the kindest and hardest-working people I’ve ever known. My sister Elizabeth is seven years older than my twin and me. She was a practicing nurse in her working years. She dedicated her life to helping people when they were ill. And then there was me, and my fraternal twin, Karen. Karen had a highly successful career during her working life. She was a district manager for Subaru for many years.

     My employment years were diversified. Over my forty-year career, I worked in many areas, starting with being a dental assistant right out of high school for six years. Then, I worked as a psychiatric aide in Ancora State Mental Hospital for a little over one year. I then worked at Ellis Insurance Company, selling high-risk insurance in Haddon Township, NJ.

     At that point, I met my now-husband, who was a cousin of my best girlfriend. I ended up moving to Florida to be with him, and shortly thereafter, we were married. That, my friends, was fifty years ago. My husband Bob and I moved to California because Bob wanted to attend Brooks Institute for Photography, which is his main interest.

     After Bob graduated from Brooks Institute for Photography, we returned to New Jersey and stayed with my parents for about a year. And then we purchased a house in Pennsauken, NJ, where we lived for fourteen years.

     We had two children, daughters three years apart. When Jeanette turned seven, and Bridget was four I applied to and I was accepted with a scholarship for the first year at Temple University after they inspected my art portfolio. I graduated four years later with a 4.0 average with Magnum cum Laude (great with honors) and Art teaching credentials. I sent my resume to all the public and private schools in the South Jersey area. Only to be informed that the public and private schools were no longer teaching art to save money. I spent months looking for a position teaching art to no avail.

OUR HOME AND MY ART SCHOOL IN PITMAN, nj WE LIVED THERE FOR 24 YEARS.

     And that was when I decided to look for a bigger home to accommodate our family and have room to teach art. I eventually found a home in Pitman, NJ, which had been empty for almost eight years. It was 5,000 square feet. Within that area were three rooms and a bathroom where I could teach art. So, we sold our house in Pennsauken and moved into the Pitman home, which needed much work, not to mention a new roof and heating and air conditioning units.   Somehow, we succeeded in my endeavor, bought the house, and had a new room put on it.      Over the twenty-four years, we have renovated the house and the yard, front and back. I opened my school and taught art to children after school and adults in the evening, for many years. In this way, I met and befriended many people who lived in Pitman. And we lived there for twenty-four years. Until we reached retirement age,

     it was hard to leave our home, and all the friends we had made over the many years we lived there. But, we couldn’t afford the high taxes we had to pay every year once we retired. It was a difficult decision; our kids had grown up there and had friends. We had many friends, but it was hard. But life can be difficult sometimes, and you must roll with the punches and move forward. After much thought and research, we sold our beautiful home in Pitman, NJ, and all our friends. And retired to North Carolina, a less expensive area to live in during our retirement.

     And here we are, almost nine years later, living in North Carolina. I have been volunteering at an animal sanctuary for the past nine years. And I began writing short stories and memoirs. I don’t know what will happen in the coming years. But, I will keep on keeping on as my generation has always said. So, I keep putting one foot in front of the other, and never giving up. Life is what you make of it.

     It is the year 2025, and in May, I will be seventy-four. It is hard to believe because I certainly don’t feel that old, but nonetheless, I am going to be that old. This fact makes me reflect on my parents when they were that age. My father died from lung cancer in 1986, and my mother died from congestive heart failure one year later. My mother was born in 1910 and my father was born in 1911. They were married in 1929. They lived in Philadelphia for a time and ultimately created a home my father helped build in Maple Shade, New Jersey.

     They had eight children in all. Unfortunately, a set of male siblings (twins) was born after my twin sister and I were born. They did not survive as they were born prematurely. They were buried in a cemetery in Moorestown, New Jersey. My oldest sibling, Harry, was twenty years older than I, and my oldest sister, Jeanie, was nineteen years older. And then my sister, Eileen is eight years older than I, and my sister Liz is severn years older than I am. My eldest sister, Jeanie, passed away when she was forty-one. She developed Alpha-1 antitrypsin (AAT) deficiency ( a genetic disorder), causing emphysema. No one else in our family developed this disorder aside from her. My sister, Jeanette, was one of the kindest, funniest people I ever knew, and so beautiful. My brother, Hugh Carberry, was twenty years older than I; he passed away five years ago when he was eighty-five. He was a practicing psychologist who spent his life helping people. He was an outstanding father and husband.

     My next oldest sister is Eileen, who is eight years older than my twin, Karen, and me. She is one of the kindest and hardest-working people I’ve ever known. My sister Elizabeth, is seven years older that My twin and I she was a practicing nurse in her working years. She dedicated her life to helping people when they were ill. And then there was me, and my fraternal twin, Karen. Karen had a highly successful career during her working life. She was a district manager for Subaru.

     My employment years were diversified. Over my forty-year career, I worked in many areas, starting with being a dental assistant right out of high school for six years. Then, I worked as a psychiatric aide in Ancora State Mental Hospital for a little over one year. I then worked at Ellis Insurance Company, selling high-risk insurance in Haddon Township, NJ.

     At that point, I met my now-husband, who was a cousin of my best girlfriend. I ended up moving to Florida to be with him, and shortly thereafter, we were married. That, my friends, was fifty years ago. My husband Bob and I moved to California because Bob wanted to attend Brooks Institute for Photography, which is his main interest.

     After Bob graduated from Brooks, we moved back to New Jersey. We stayed with my parents for about a year, then purchased a house in Pennsauken, NJ, where we lived for fourteen years. We had two children, girls, three years apart. When Jeanette turned seven, and Bridget was four I applied to and I was accepted with a scholarship for the first year at Temple University after they inspected my art portfolio. I graduated four years later with a 4.0 average with Magnum cum Laude (great with honors) and Art teaching credentials. I sent my resume to all the public and private schools in the South Jersey area. Only to be informed that the public and private schools were no longer teaching art to save money. I spent months looking for a position teaching art to no avail.

     And that was when I decided to look for a bigger home that would accommodate our family and have room to teach art. I eventually found a home in Pitman, NJ, which had been empty for almost eight years. It was 5,000 square feet. Within that area were three rooms and a bathroom where I could teach art. So, we sold our house in Pennsauken and moved into the Pitman home, which needed much work, not to mention a new roof and heating and air conditioning units. Somehow, we managed to succeed in our endeavor, bought the house, and had a new room put on it. Over the twenty-four years, we have renovated the house and the yard, front and back.
I opened my school and taught art to children after school and adults in the evening, for many years. In this way, I met and befriended many people who lived in Pitman, and we lived there for twenty-four years until we reached retirement age.

     It was hard to leave our home, and all the friends we had made over the many years we lived there. However, we couldn’t afford the high taxes in New Jersey that we had to pay every year once we retired. It was a difficult decision; our kids had grown up there and had friends. We had many friends, but it was hard. But life can be difficult sometimes, and you must roll with the punches and move forward. After much thought and research, we sold our beautiful home in Pitman, NJ, and all our friends. And retired to North Carolina, a less expensive area to live in during our retirement.

     And here we are, almost nine years later, living in North Carolina. I have been volunteering at an animal sanctuary for the past nine years. And I began writing short stories and memoirs. I don’t know what will happen in the coming years. But, I will keep on keeping on as my generation has always said. So, I keep putting one foot in front of the other, and never giving up. Life is what you make of it. I try to keep a positive mindset at all times. I continue to try to be kind to all the people I meet along my way. Keeping in mind that life is short and I shouldn’t waste time trying to change things I can not change. And I continue to treat all the people I meet along the way, in the same way that I wish to be treated, with kindness and consideration.

The Stories Of My Youth

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Sometimes, I find it challenging to write about my past because what is happening now in the present is overwhelming and terrifying. I was born in 1951, which, to many people, may seem like a very, very long time ago. Nonetheless, the last seventy-three years seemed to fly by. Although I don’t believe I’ve lived an extraordinary life, it has been an interesting and challenging one.

I came from an Irish Catholic family, and I had five siblings. Of which my twin and I were the last offspring. My older brother, Hugh, who was nineteen years older than I, passed away several years ago from liver cancer. He was a psychologist who spent his adult life helping people. My oldest sister, Jeanette, was twenty years older. She passed away when I was forty-one. She had Alpha 1 deficiency, which caused her to have a genetic form of emphysema. She was such a wonderful person and kind to all. I still miss her to this day. My sisters, Eileen and Elizabeth, are retired in New Jersey. My twin also lives in New Jersey and retired after working as a District Manager for Subaru for years.

I haven’t seen them in nine years because when I retired, we moved to North Carolina, where living is less expensive. My family was surprised when I decided to move to Florida in 1974 to be near the young man I eventually married. We recently celebrated our 50th Wedding Anniversary. We’ve had our ups and downs. But somehow, we keep rolling along a bumpy road at times. I keep putting one foot in front of the other.

We lived in Pitman, New Jersey, in a large Victorian house for twenty-four years, when we realized we could not retire and continue living in our home because we couldn’t afford to pay New Jersey real estate taxes after we both retired. It was a hard dicision because we loved that house so much. And we made many friends in Pitman during our twenty-four years there. We packed all our worldly belongings, rented a moving van, and headed for North Carolina.

Painting of the house I grew up in Maple Shade, NJ

So here we are, nine years later, in North Carolina. I have been volunteering at an Animal Sanctuary for almost nine years. I have always been an animal lover, which seemed like a good match. I have cared for Parrots, Macaws, pigeons, doves, and pheasants. I have to admit that the birds can be pretty noisy, but I got used to it after a while. There are over two hundred and twenty animals there. It is out in the country in a town named Coats. If you ever visit North Carolina, you should make a point of going there. You won’t be disappointed.

In addition, I have a writer’s blog called Write On, which I post on Facebook. I have about 900 followers. You are welcome to follow it if you wish. Here is the link: https://susanaculver.com.

St. Mary of the Angels Academy

Over my lifetime, I have worked in many different kinds of jobs. My first employment was right out of High School. I was offered a position at a dentist’s office as a dental assistant at Dr. E. G. Wozniak in Haddon Township, NJ. His wife had attended the same High School—St Mary of the Angels Academy, but years before I did. So when Dr. Wozniak needed a new assistant, the principal of St. Mary’s recommended me for the job. I was hired, and it turned out that I was pretty proficient at it. And I worked there for quite five years. I liked the job, but unfortunately, I had to work many evenings and on Saturdays. And that didn’t leave me much time to have a life outside of working.

I decided to look for a nine-to-five job, only five days a week, and no evening or Saturday. I found a position at a high-risk auto insurance company called The Ellis Brothers. It was a fascinating job, and the Ellis brothers were from a wealthy family in Haddonfield, NJ. And they didn’t like working nine to five, so my co-workers, the Ellis Brothers, and I often went out for breakfast, etc. They were fun to work with and I stayed there for a couple of years.

About this time, my friend, who lived down the street from me, introduced me to her boy cousin. And we went out a couple of times, and then he had to return to Florida, where his family lived.

Bob and I communicated by mail for quite a while and occasional phone calls. I decided that this was the guy for me. I suggested that I move to Florida to get to know him better. He said yes. And as a result I made plans to travel to Florida via the Auto-train I had to drive several states away from NJ and then my car, a 1970 Volkswagen was loaded on the train. I was a passenger on the train, and believe me, it was a long ride. I had the unfortunate luck to have a mother with her infant baby sitting next to me, and as a result, I had no opportunity to get any sleep. It was a 24-hour ride. When I finally disembarked from the train, my car was also removed. And I spent at least another five hours sweating out in the Florida heat, waiting for “Bob” to arrive so I could follow him to the apartment that he rented for me. He finally arrived, and I have t admit we were both tired since he had worked all night and then had to drive for hours to the location I was waiting at.

It was quite a distance. Thank god my car had air conditioning, or I might have died. And I was starving. I had called my parents to let them know that I had arrived safely, and then I called them again when I arrived at the apartment. My parents were upset that I had moved away. And my mother had started crying on the phone. I felt terrible about it. But, at some point, we all must grow up and create our own lives separate from our parents. No matter how much we love them. It’s a part of life. Being a parent is not an easy task. I know that from my experience as a parent of two adult children.

Once I got settled in the apartment, I started looking for employment. One of Bob’s girl cousins suggested that I apply at an insurance company she had formerly worked at. That is precisely what I did. I worked there briefly, when they started laying people off for some reason. Their business wasn’t doing well. So, here I was again, unemployed. I looked for a job for a couple of months with no luck. Then, I got the brilliant idea to go to hairdressing school. So, I applied and was accepted. I had no experience in hairdressing, nor did I care about hairdressing. Nonetheless, I attended the Florida Beauty Academy for almost a year. Then, I took the state test to get my license. And I passed it with flying colors. And that was the beginning of part two of my adventures in Florida. I will continue my story next week. Stay tuned. It gets better.

 

The Time Has Come

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     She realized that she would be alone for the rest of her life. Sandra looked down at her dear mother and realized she was no longer breathing. Her mother’s illness had been prolonged and painful both for her mother and herself. During the last year of her mother’s life, she had found herself wishing her mother would pass away in her sleep.

     Her mother not only had cancer, but she also had dementia. Every day, Sandra continued to breathe, and she felt mixed emotions. She loved her mother but missed having a life of her own. She had taken care of her for many years. And she was worn out. She was always lonely because her only company was her cat, Thelma. She was getting old, almost twenty, and Sandra knew she wouldn’t live much longer.

     Sandra was a quiet young woman who kept to herself. She was never very popular in school. Since she was shy and hated calling attention to herself, the other kids made fun of her ever since she was of school age, especially the girls who called her mean names because she was fragile and had bright red curly hair. The boys made fun of her too. She had a best friend named Elaine when she was younger. But her family and she moved to another state where they thought things would improve, as more jobs were available than in the sticks where they lived.

     Every day when she looked down at her mother, she felt sick to her stomach. Because she couldn’t do anything to make her well or even lessen the pain, the doctor said they had done all they could for her. And she wouldn’t live much longer. Every day she saw her mother shrinking away, and she could do nothing to make her feel better. She thought about putting her in a nursing home, but when she checked out the cost, she realized there was no way for her to pay for it. And her poor mother would feel abandoned. So, Sandra kept going one day at a time. Occasionally, one of her neighbors would leave her some home-cooked meals. And Sandra would gobble them down to distract herself from her loneliness and depression.

     The following day, Sandra went to the mailbox to get the mail. She kept forgetting to get it, so a week’s worth of mail was stuffed in her old metal mailbox. She prayed that it wasn’t all bills since she only had fifty dollars in her bank account. But it turned out it was a letter from a law firm.

     Sandra thought, Oh no, I hope no one is suing me because I owe so much money to just about everyone. She was afraid to open the letter, so she held it tightly, walked slowly up to the front porch, and plopped down on the old porch swing. She slowly opened the large envelope, which looked like a letter from a lawyer. God, was she going to be sent to jail for all the money she owed to just about everyone?

     A tear ran down her pale cheek as she slowly opened the envelope. The short message was, ” Sandra Cummings, I have represented your mother for many years. And your mother is the only relative still living besides yourself. The check that is enclosed is in your and your mother’s name. We have been informed that your mother is dying and will most likely pass shortly. If she does pass away in the near future, the entire sum of money will go directly to you as the only living member of your mother’s family.

     Sandra was shocked and couldn’t grasp what she had just read about a large inheritance since she knew of other family members still living, let alone having a large sum of money. Sandra slowly opened the envelope and carefully pulled out the check within it. She almost took a nose dive off the front porch when she stared at the check and the amount.

     The check was in her name, and the amount was unbelievable. Sandra thought it must have been a joke or some mistake. The law firm had sent the check using a phone number and the law firm’s name. So, she plopped down on the porch swing and stared at the check for at least ten minutes.

     Then, she grabbed the phone and called the number. A woman answered the phone and said, “ Can I help you?” Yes, my name is Sandra Cummings, and I received a letter with a check for a large amount of money on it, saying I have inherited the money. “Oh, hold on, Ms. Cummings, I’ll check.” A few minutes passed, and Sandra thought, Oh, this must be a mistake, or maybe I’m dreaming all this. She waited for what seemed a long time. And then she heard a man’s deep voice saying,” Is this Sandra Cummings?”

“Yes, yes it is. I was calling about a check my mother received today.”

     “Yes, we sent you a check, it is the last of the money from your mother’s inheritance. She invested it many years ago. And it has increased in value. “Your mother informed us that she was ill, and she wanted to leave her money to you. Since you have loved and cared for her for many years, she wanted you to have some joy and happiness. And she realized that she was going to pass away soon. She loved you very much and felt guilty that you had to spend so many years caring for her. She wants you to sell the house as soon as she passes and create a happy life for yourself. She knows that you have always wanted to travel and see the world. And she wants you to find love in your life.

     Sandra could hardly speak; she didn’t know what to say. “ Sandra, when your mother passes, she wants you to know that she has arranged for the funeral and has already purchased a burial plot in her name. Her biggest wish is for you to find love and have a happy life from this day forward. Sandra was so shocked she didn’t know what to say.

     “Sandra, please inform me when your mother passes away, and the information of when and where she will be interred, and any problems you may need help with. I know it is a big loss when we lose our parents. But remember your mother had a long life, and now she hopes you will have a good life with love and perhaps a family someday. Please call me if you need any help or assistance. You have my number. Take care, I hope to hear from you soon.”

     And then he hung up the phone. Sandra was gobsmacked; she could hardly believe any of it. At that moment, she realized she had been on the phone for quite a long time. She better check on her Mom. Sandra slowly walked back into the house to check on her mother. As soon as she looked down at her, she realized her mother had passed away. Tears rolled down her face. She suddenly felt a big space in her heart. She knew she would miss her, but still it was so hard watching her mother suffer and not be able to help her. And now she was at peace. And wouldn’t suffer anymore. She would always miss her mother. But, she knew her mother was at peace. And her suffering in pain was over. For that reason alone, she was happy for her mother.

     She leaned down and kissed her mother’s soft cheek, and tears rolled down her face onto her mother. She looked around and realized there was nothing to keep her here anymore. She walked back to the phone and called the mortician to please take her mother, as she had passed. He said he would be there as soon as possible. And he was very sorry for her loss. She started to cry again, and she hung up the phone and stood next to her mother’s now still body, and she cried again. All she could think was Now I’m all alone in the world.

I WAS ALWAYS A LITTLE DIFFERENT

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As far back as I can remember, I always felt I didn’t quite fit in with everyone my age. Reflecting on my childhood experiences, I believe there were several reasons why I felt like the “Odd One.” 

I grew up in the 1950s. My fraternal twin didn’t seem to care for me at all. On the other hand, I had a lot of friends in the neighborhood where I grew up. My best friend, Joanie, lived three houses away from my house. Then, I made friends with a new girl who lived at the end of Fellowship Road.

That is the name of the street I lived on until I was twenty when I moved out. And there was the fixation I had on Cats. I loved them. The neighbor lady, Mrs. Collins had many, many cats,, and they lived in her basement and could go in and out through a flap in the basement window. They would then be inside a fenced-in area that ran from the back of her house to the end of her backyard. I became obsessed with those cats. I visited them every day, sometimes several times a day, for my entire childhood. And Mrs. Collins had a dog named Rudy, who I loved as well. That is where my love of animals began.

Now, don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t that I had no friends. I had a lot. First, my best friend, Joanie, lived next door to Mrs. Collins. And all the other kids who lived on Fellowship Road, including the boys. I used to go next door and play with army men with my next-door neighbor, Jackie Rice. He was a few years older than me but a friendly kid. His mother was a window as her husband had died many years before. I used to go to Joanie’s house as soon as I was dressed. Her father soon told me not to come over so early or often. Fortunately, he wasn’t home that much during the day since he worked long hours at an Acme Food store.

After school, I would play with all my school friends, as my friend Joanie had to do her homework right after school. I did mine after dinner. Before I had a bike, I used to walk to my friends’ houses. But once I was on wheels, there was no stopping me. I went over all my girlfriends’ houses and didn’t leave until it was almost dinnertime or when their parents said,” Time to go home, Susie.”

When I wasn’t visiting my friends, I would make things out of stuff I found around my house. I was always a creative kid and kept myself busy. I spent much time at the Maple Shade Library, where I learned how to read. It was located on Main Street, next to the police station. Once I had my bike, there was no telling where I would go or how far. As long as I got home in time for dinner, there was no problem. My parents never asked me where I went or what I was doing. I kid you not. Maybe they thought they were better off knowing what I was up to at any given time.

I rode my bike to Strawbridge Lake and some as far as the Moorestown Mall, the first Mall in Southern NJ. I never had any money, but I still liked walking up and down inside the Mall. At the time, they had a giant birdcage with Parrots, and I came to love those birds. My mother had a pet, a parakeet. And we had a dog (actually, it was my father’s dog; his name was Andy. I loved that dog.

My father did not believe a dog should always be kept in the house. And he would allow him to go and come at will and never seemed to worry where he went. Because he always came back. He also gave Andy corn on the cob to eat, and when Andy went outside, he would poop corn in all our neighbor’s yard. Our neighbors were not fond of Andy. But my father loved that dog. And every night, Andy would lay on the floor next to my “father’s chair.” And my father would pet him all night until he went to bed.

As I related to you early in this memoir, I was not your regular kid. I was extremely creative. I always loved making things, drawing, and making up stories. I told so many stories that most of my family and friends took everything I said with a grain of salt.

When I graduated from the eighth grade, my parents decided that my sister, Karen, and I would attend St. Mary of the Angel’s Academy in Haddonfield, NJ. We had to take the bus back and forth. St. Mary of the Angel’s Academy was an all-girls school, which was just fine with me because, at the time, I didn’t care about boys. I admit I didn’t put much effort into studying and doing my homework. My mother made every effort to make sure I was doing what was required, and it was because of her efforts that I graduated from high school. My mother was the kindest, most loving person I ever met or had in my life. She worked hard all her life and never complained about anything. Everyone said,” She was a saint.” And I believe that was true. My mother was a loving and caring person who worked hard every day. I was so lucky to have her.

THIS IS A DRAWING I MADE OF MY HOME IN MAPLE SHADE, NJ, WHERE I GREW UP.

My father was something akin to a “Big Grouch.” His nickname was “The Old Bear.” And he could be pretty harsh. Over the years, I realized I was lucky enough to have my parents in my life. He did everything he could for all of his children. I’m not saying my father was perfect; he wasn’t. He worked hard but also had his own life outside of home. He played cards for money. On his days off, he had a part-time job at Johnny Marrow’s Auto Supply Store in downtown Maple Shade. He also went to the Garden State Racetrack and played horses. Once, he won big, and he took my entire family out for dinner on his winnings. It was the only time I remember attending dinner with my whole family. I’ll never forget it.

My mother worked at Wanamaker’s employee kitchen while my sister and I attended St. Mary of the Angel’s Academy (a girl’s high school.) I’m not saying my family was perfect; we weren’t. But, as I look back over those many years, I know that I was blessed to have my parents, four sisters, and brother. My older brother was a psychologist and spent his whole life helping people. My eldest sister, Jeanie, lived in New York most of her adult life. And she was lovely and so funny and intelligent. Unfortunately, Jeanie had Alpha-one Atrypsin Deficiency (emphysema), and after many years of being ill, she passed away at forty-one. When I was living in California with my husband Bob, he was attending Brooks Institute for Photography. My only brother, Harry, passed five years ago from liver cancer. I have always been so proud of my brother, who spent his whole life helping people. Luckily, I still have my sister, Karen (my fraternal twin), Eileen, and my sister, Liz. And many nieces and nephews and great-nieces and nephews. There’s nothing like an Irish family. And I feel blessed to be a part of it.  THIS IS ME WHEN WAS A LITTLE GIRL

As for myself, although I was somewhat of a shy child, I grew up to be outgoing and independent. I moved out of my parent’s house when I was twenty, and I got my apartment in Haddonfield, NJ, which happened to be the town where I went to high school at St. Mary of the Angel’s Academy. And it was about that time when my best friend Joan, who grew up down the street from my cousin, Bob, was visiting her. She asked if I wanted to see him since I had a childhood crush on him. And that my friends were the beginning of the rest of my life. Bob and I went out a couple of times, and then he returned to Florida, where his family lived. We kept in touch by letter writing and phone calls, and after several months, I moved to Florida to be near Bob. And that my friends was the beginning of my new life, we were married and then Bob decided to Brooks Institue for Photography and we were of to California where we lived for several years until he graduated.

After his graduation, we decided to move back to New Jersey and the Philadelphia area. Where he felt there were better opportunities for work. He wasn’t able to find photography work. So, he started working with electronics which he was proficient and was hired. And that, my friends, was the beginning of the rest of our lives. We decided to start a family. We have two adult children now. Who are both highly intelligent and talented. Jeanette is married, lives in Philadelphia, and makes gorgeous clothing. Bridget lives with us in North Carolina and works in ceramics. However, I spent many years teaching art and painting. I have found that I love writing and have spent much of the last eight years in my free time writing short stories and memoirs. I have also volunteered at an animal sanctuary in Coats, NC, for almost nine years. I care for Parrots, Doves, pigeons, pheasants, and birds of all sizes. As I have said, I’ve always had a great love of animals.

In addition, I have two dogs and ten birds, and my daughter has a cat. I don’t know what my life will hold, but I hope I have many years ahead of me. I look forward to whatever time I have left. Life goes by quickly, so don’t waste any of it.

 

 

Baby Boomers

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My wonderful mother, when she was young.

Yes, people, I am a baby boomer. I was born in 1951. I came from an Irish Catholic family with five siblings. I lived in New Jersey my entire childhood until I was twenty-three, when I moved to Florida on my own. I am now about to turn seventy-four on May 24th of this year. I feel lucky to have been born part of the Baby Boomer generation. I came from a family with five siblings. Of which, my twin sister and I were the youngest. I grew up in the small town of Maple Shade in New Jersey. Our house was two doors from the newly built Our Lady of Perpetual Help elementary school.

I attended elementary school for eight years. When I came of the age to go to high school, I was accepted at two Catholic High Schools, Holy Cross High School and St. Mary of the Angel’s Academy in Haddonfield, NJ. It was an all-girls school, and I was there with my fraternal twin. I graduated in 1969. At this point, I got a job working as a dental assistant in Haddon Township. I worked for Dr. Edward G. Wozniak for several years.

When I was almost twenty-three, I decided to move to Florida to be closer to my now-husband, Bob. We were married in 1974 and have now been married for fifty years. We are retired and living in North Carolina. We had two daughters who are now middle-aged adults.

Our Lady of Perpetual Help Church. I lived two houses away from it.

I don’t know if I would fit the mold of all the other baby boomers of my generation. But I did start making decisions for myself and my future at a reasonably young age. When I moved from New Jersey to Florida, I drove there with all my worldly belongings. My parents did not want me to move, but I did. Everyone in my family was somewhat taken aback by my moving hundreds of miles away from my family since I had always been somewhat of a quiet and shy child. But beneath that shallow surface was a young woman who knew what she wanted and was willing to do whatever I needed to be happy.

My parents kept in touch with me while I lived in Florida. I talked to them once a week and wrote long letters telling them what I was up to, what kind of job I was employed at. I knew my parents were concerned for my well-being. I tried to reassure them that I was fine, had a job, and was generally doing well. Not too long after that, my husband, Bob, decided to go to Brooks Institute in California. He was accepted, and we were off to Santa Barbara with the few belongings we could fit in Bob’s van and my 1970 Volkswagen. We lived there for two years until Bob finished his education.
Meanwhile, I found a job at Robinson’s Department Store selling hats and wigs. If there was a more boring job, I don’t know what it could possibly be. Fortunately, I made friends with quite a few people, and one of them told me about a job working with mentally handicapped children at St. Vincent’s School. I immediately went and applied for a job. The next day, I received a call to come in for an interview. Sure enough, I was hired and worked there for the rest of the time we lived in California. I loved working with the kids, and when it was time to move forward with our lives, I had to say goodbye to those kids I had come to love like they were my children.

Then, we decided to move back to Philadelphia for better job opportunities for Bob. My parents were happy to have me back in New Jersey, and we lived with them for almost a year. Until Bob and I decided to buy a house in Pennsauken, Bob used his VA benefits, which allowed us to purchase a home without a down payment. We lived in that house for fourteen years. I gave birth to my two daughters. My oldest was born in 1981, and the youngest in 1984.

When my oldest daughter was seven and the youngest was four, I decided I wanted to get a college education so that in a few years, I could earn a higher income than minimum wage. I applied to several Art colleges in the Philadelphia area. I prepared a portfolio with my artwork. I was accepted at all the schools. I was offered a scholarship for the first year at Temple, Tyler School of Art, and I accepted it.

So, for the next four years, I juggled going to Temple University full-time and babysat children in the summer when I wasn’t in school to earn extra money. I won’t lie. It was tough having two young children and going to college full-time. I was the oldest Freshman at Tyler, but I went out of my way to befriend all my fellow students and professors. And believe it or not, I graduated four years later with a degree in Art Education and Graphic Design. I applied to every elementary, middle, and high school in New Jersey and Philadelphia. Only to discover that the school budgets no longer supported teaching arts in the public school system. I can’t lie. I was heartbroken.

That is when I came up with the idea to start art school. Sure enough, I found an advertisement for a massive house for sale in Pitman, NJ. It had been unoccupied for eight years. And it needs a whole lot of work, including a new roof. The house was five thousand square feet. It had three floors and two basements. It required a lot of work. Nonetheless, after selling our home in Pennsauken, we bought a house in Pitman. We lived there for twenty-four years until we retired and our children were grown. We had befriended all the people in the neighborhood. There were three empty rooms that the previous owners had used; he was a doctor. I renovated the three rooms and bought all the art materials I could afford. Then I took an advertisement for the ART ROOM. Sure enough, I had students after school and adult classes in the evening. I made many friends in Pitman, students and adults. 

After many years of teaching, Bob and I decided it was time to retire. I knew I would miss our Pitman home and the people we loved there. But there was no way we could afford to live there after Bob retired. After researching states that would be affordable, we decided to move to North Carolina. And here we are nine years later. I have volunteered at an Animal sanctuary in Coats, NC, for nine years. Taking care of birds, mostly Parrots. I have always been an animal lover. And I have ten birds of my own, two dogs, and my youngest daughter has a cat. We also have a Koi Pond. And that, folks, is where I am now retired in NC. Who knows what I will do next, but don’t worry, whatever it turns out to be, I will tell you about it. Life is short, so do your best, treat everyone the way you would like to be treated, and be kind to all people and animals.

Although no longer young, I still have my dreams and goals. Don’t let your age keep you from enjoying your life or be afraid to try something new. Life is short; Live It.