Author Archives: Susan

OH HOW TIME HAS FLOWN BY

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     It seems my life has flown by in the blink of an eye. I can clearly remember my childhood experiences growing up in Maple Shade, New Jersey. And the eight years I spent at Our Lady of Perpetual Help School. And the four years I spent at St. Mary of the Angel’s Academy in Haddonfield, New Jersey. I can’t say that all my experiences attending Catholic School were all good ones. However, I made a lot of friends. Not to mention, I learned all the basic skills, like reading, writing, and arithmetic. The nuns were strict, and I’m not exaggerating. Suppose you spoke when you were not allowed to or were caught looking at someone else’s work. Well, woe be it to you. You were going to pay a high price. I learned a lot while I attended Catholic Elementary School. But not all of it was good. But it wasn’t all bad, either. And then there were the surprises if we got too much snow on a winter’s day. The school would be closed.
On the other hand, we only lived two houses down from OLPH School. And if the dear “sisters” saw us (my twin sister and I) out playing in the snow. We would be dragged into the school to do manual labor, which could be anything from cleaning the blackboards to cleaning the desks, etc.

When I graduated from grade school, I had to take entrance exams to attend the Catholic High Schools in the area. Somehow, “by the grace of God.” I passed the exams and was invited to participate in Holy Cross High School or St. Mary of the Angels Academy. My parents decided it would benefit them if we attended an all-girls school (St. Mary of the Angel’s Academy). I enjoyed my time there except for Math Class, which I barely passed. In fact, “by the grace of god that I passed.” I didn’t learn higher Maths until I was a grown adult when I decided to learn all Maths, which started with adding/subtracting, multiplication, and algebra.

Why, you may ask? Because I decided I wanted to teach people struggling with math how they, too, could learn. In addition, I taught writing skills and reading. And prepped them to pass the GED class and eventually be able to earn “their high school diploma..” It was one of the most rewarding experiences I have had. I felt a great accomplishment to give someone a hand-up in their lives. The only problem I encountered was when one of the students who wanted help learning to read or write in English didn’t speak English. She was Japanese, and alas, I didn’t talk, nor could I write in Japanese. So, I had to search for someone in my area to help them, and after quite a while, I found a good teacher for them.

Tyler School of Art at Temple University

It was about this time, I was thirty-five, that I decided I wanted to go to college. I had two young children. Who were six and three? Luckily, I had a good friend who lived a couple of blocks away from me who agreed to watch my little girls if I would babysit their daughter during the Spring Holidays and all Summer. And that is what I did for the next four years until I graduated from Temple University, Tyler School of Art in Philadelphia at forty-one. The only student of non-traditional age. Those four years at Tyler were stressful and exciting; I have always looked back at that time as a success. I graduated at the top of my class Magnum Cum Laude with two degrees and teaching credentials. The final reward was that my graduating class gave me a standing ovation when I received my diploma.

And then I got some bad news: Communities all over the area had stopped funding elementary and high school art classes. I have to say that it was a devastating ending to my teaching art in public schools.

That was when I decided to look for a big house with many rooms where we could live, and I would have plenty of space to teach both children and adults. We found a beautiful old house built in 1910. It had been empty for eight years. It was in great need of repair, both inside and out, including a new roof, new heater and air conditioner, and on and on. But my husband and I decided this was the house for us. It was perfect because it had three rooms that had been used by the previous owner, who was a doctor. We attended an open house and decided to buy it. And the rest is history. We could not sell our smaller home and ended up renting it until we could find a buyer. The rent went towards the outstanding mortgage payments until it was paid off.

Our New plus 110-year-old house, although neglected for many years, was a dream come true. Over the twenty-four years we lived there, we renovated the house from top to bottom, redid the hardwood floors throughout, repaired and replaced the roof, and painted the wrought iron fence. In fact, by the time we finished all the work, it was almost time for us to retire.

When I advertised the Grand Opening of “THE ART ROOM. “ This was in 1994.I had an open house. Almost all the people that lived in Pitman came to see our home. Over those many years, I taught everyone from the age of five to senior citizens, including my next-door neighbors, Marie and Bob Batten, a retired dentist and his wife. We became close friends with them over the twenty-four years that we lived in Pitman. Practically everyone in town came to our Grand Opening since they wanted to see what it looked like. The previous owners kept to themselves for the most part, save for the previous owners who used to see the Doctor who owned the house for whatever ailments these people suffered.

In the ensuing years, I taught art to people of every age and had the pleasure of meeting their families. As the years flew by, I realized that once Bob and I retired, we would not be able to afford to live in Pitman or anywhere in New Jersey, as we were paying $40,000 a year on real estate taxes.

So, it was with a heavy heart that we put our house up for sale and started looking at the South for a place to retire. After several weeks of investigating what state would be our best place to retire, we decided that North Carolina was definitely an option. We made plans to drive to North Carolina and see if we were making the best decision. And so, here we are nine years later, retired and living in North Carolina. Retired.

After we got settled here at our new home, I decided that I was going to look for a volunteer job so that I could continue contributing and make a difference. I decided that since I had spent the last twenty years teaching art or working as a counselor in Social Services positions at Ranch Hope. It was located in Alloway, NJ. I was caring for and supervising at-risk male youth who were adjudicated by the courts to live there until they reached eighteen. I worked there for five years. It was not an easy job, nor did it have great hours. In addition, I was the first woman hired to work with these boys, and until that time, it was all me. After they realized that I was quite capable of counseling these boys and keeping them, for the most part, out of trouble. More women were hired.

For the most part, I would say my time working was the most rewarding position I ever held. I came to love all those boys with my whole heart.

In addition, after I left Ranch Hope, I worked for the Center for Family Services in Camden, New Jersey. I worked with five of the churches in Camden, matching adults from the churches to mentor the at-risk youth who grew up with one or more of their parents being incarcerated. I worked there for several years. And I came to love the people who lived in the city, a city that was often in turmoil because of drugs and violence. I usually had to visit the parents of these at-risk kids in their homes in center-city Camden. It was not a safe place.
Nonetheless, I found that their parents were good people who wanted the best for their children. At times, I had to visit one of their parents in the prison where they were incarcerated to talk to the parents about our programs for their children. I have to say I was somewhat afraid at first to go to all these prisons, but over time, I realized that these were just human beings who made mistakes in their lives. Some huge mistakes, like murder, drug dealing, etc. Nonetheless, they loved their children and hoped and prayed for a better life for their children. I made every effort to be respectful to those who were incarcerated. Yes, they were flawed humans, but they were still people who had difficult choices and few opportunities in life. However, as a whole, they all wanted their children to have better lives than they had experienced. It was an experience that gave me more empathy and understanding of people who make poor choices in their lives. And we’re paying a high price for their mistakes. And unless you or I have experienced growing up in a ghetto, in poverty, just trying to get from one day to the next, we can’t possibly know what their lives have been like. And we can’t compare their lives to their own.

I have learned a great deal about life from my experiences, and I regret nothing I have seen or experienced. I had the opportunity to work with Wilson Good, the former mayor of Philadelphia—the first black Mayor of a major city in the United States.

I am retired and living in North Carolina, but I have volunteered at Animal Edventure, an animal sanctuary in Coats, NC, for the past eight years. I take care of birds. Yes, that is a big, giant step from working with at-risk youth, but I’ve been an animal lover for as far back as I can remember.

I don’t know what the future will hold for me, but I know I’m not one to sit in front of the TV all day watching soap operas. I look forward to whatever adventure comes my way.

DON’T WAKE UP YOUR FATHER

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     Life can throw you a ball way out in left field. And you may never know what hit you. As for me, life sent me a curve ball right off the bat. My mother was blessed with many children during her life. She was married to the same man for over fifty years. Throughout her marriage, she gave birth to ten children. Six of them survived. When she was forty-one years old, she began to have symptoms of morning sickness. She couldn’t believe she was pregnant again. Every morning, she woke up feeling sick, and sometimes, she felt ill all day and night. She couldn’t believe she was going to have another child.
When she went to the doctor for the blood test, she was informed that she was indeed pregnant again. And the doctor was thrilled to tell her she would have twins again. This time it was a set of twin boys, who were named Stephen and Gerard. After the school that Harry, my father, grew up in. It was the Gerard College. He didn’t get out until he was sixteen years old. His mother was a window and couldn’t stay home to care for Harry. And he only saw her once a year on Christmas until he graduated from Gerard College and got a job.

My Dear Mother

     Marie’s (my mother’s) youngest children at the time were seven and eight. Her twin babies were toddlers, and she had been sure that changing diapers and feeding baby bottles were a thing of the past. All her kids were old enough to attend school or had graduated from high school except the twin girls. Her oldest son was attending a University and hoped to be a psychologist shortly. Her oldest daughter was married recently, had moved out of state, and was starting her own family.

     She thought life was going to get much easier soon. What with all the children being of school age or in college or moved away in the distant future. She hoped none of them would get married shortly because she didn’t want to start caring for grandchildren. She was content with all the children either in school or living independently. She wanted nothing more than to say her rosary, read a book, take a walk, visit her friends and neighbors, and share a cuppa of tea or coffee with one of her church lady friends. She changed her share of diapers and helped the older children with homework.

     Oridnarily her husband, Hugh(Harry) would work the late shift at his job. He worked third shift at the PTC Bus Company in Philadelphia as a dispatcher until he was 62, retirement age.. He had been working there for almost thirty years. He slept during the day, and he worked the night shift. All the children had to keep quiet lest they wake up their father, and nobody wanted that since he was an awful grouch when he was awakened during the day.

     In fact, he was rarely in a good mood. When the kids arrived home from school, they were warned to keep it down. And don’t ever wake up your father, or you will regret it. As a result, the younger kids would get home from school and change their clothes. Then, they would go out to play until dinnertime. By then, their father would have gone to work, and it was safe to turn on the TV. And then Marie would get dinner started.

high school graduation picture

Susan Culver- high school graduation picture

     Marie was a quiet woman and didn’t talk often. But, she was a good listener to all her children. She had a big heart and always had a kind word to say about everyone. She had worked hard all her life and never complained. When her youngest children ( my twin sister and I) were in high school, Marie got a job working in the kitchen at Wanamaker’s restaurant at the Moorestown Mall in New Jersey. She was working because her two youngest daughters( my sister and I ) attended a private, all-girls Catholic High School in Haddonfield, NJ. It was called Saint Mary of the Angel’s Academy. And the tuition was relatively high. Marie never complained, no matter how tired or worn out she was. When she got home from work, after taking the bus from Moorestown, NJ, to home, Marie was exhausted and on her feet all day. She was sixty-two years old.. But, she would have to go home, get dinner ready, and do a load of washing. Yet, she still never complained. Her husband, Harry, was already at his night job and wouldn’t be home until late. He was only home for meals on his days off, except for Sunday morning when he was home. He would help Marie by making the toast. In contrast, she cooked breakfast for everyone and cleaned the kitchen and the old stove.

My father- 1960's

My father.

     Still, I know my parents did their best and loved each of us in their own way. From the outside, my family and my childhood were typical of every other child my age who lived in Maple Shade in the 1950s. My mother stayed at home in our early childhood until we graduated from elementary school and entered high school. My father somehow maintained a life of his own to some degree. In addition to working full-time at SEPTA, the bus company where he worked, he worked part-time at Johnny Marrow auto supply store on his days off. The Morrow lived over the auto-supply store. It was a small apartment. My father was a hard-working man, and I rarely saw him because of his sleeping during the day on account of his working nights. And then, on his days off, he worked a part-time job. In addition, my father played the horses at Cherry Hill race tract, and he played cards for money. He had a life that was somewhat disconnected from his family life. Still, I loved my father more than I could ever express, and I wanted nothing more than to feel that he loved me back. Somehow, I believed he did love me but did not know or have the ability to express his love to me or my fellow siblings in any concrete way.

     The experience that firmly assured me that my father indeed loved me occurred when I was twenty- years old, and I had been working full-time as a dental assistant for three years. I found a one-bedroom apartment in Haddonfield, New Jersey, somewhat coincidentally, as I also attended high school in Haddonfield at St. Mary of the Angel’s Academy. It was a beautiful town where primarily wealthy people lived. While I lived there, I made it a habit to visit the Haddonfield Library, which was within walking distance of my little one-bedroom apartment. In addition, I could walk downtown and visit all the beautiful little shops. I often walked by St. Mary’s, which brought back many memories, mostly good.

     After I moved to my apartment, my father paid me an unexpected visit. Luckily, I was home. He came in and looked all around and said very little to me. I could see he missed me and didn’t understand why I moved away from home. As a parent of grown children, I now understand how he felt. I feel sorrow if I hurt my parents by moving away, but at the time, I thought it was necessary for me to become independent and reliant on myself.

     Not long after, my oldest friend Joan Gioiella contacted me and asked me if I was interested in going out with her boy cousin, and I said yes. He was visiting his extended family in New Jersey, who lived in Philadelphia, Pa. And some that lived in New Jersey. And that my friends were the beginning of a new chapter in my life. I went out with her cousin, and over time, we wrote back and forth with each other for quite a long time. And before you knew it, I had decided that I was going to move to Florida to be near Bob.

Me and my siblings years ago.

     So, I packed up all my belongings that could fit in my almost brand-new 1970s Volkswagon and went on my merry way by car and auto train to West Palm Beach, Florida. Bob had found an apartment for me, and my friends were the beginning of a new chapter in my life. That chapter would take me across the country to California, and that is a whole new chapter. You can only imagine how distraught my parents were when I moved so far away from home.

FALL IS THE SEASON

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Fall in New Jersey at our previous home

Fall weather is a balance between summer’s heat and winter’s cold, with cool mornings and warm afternoons. The cooler temperatures are good for your health, and fall is also less humid than other seasons.

Fall weather is a balance between summer’s heat and winter’s cold, with cool mornings and warm afternoons. The cooler temperatures are good for your health, and fall is also less humid than other seasons.

It was the last fall that I had experienced for a long time. I grew up in New Jersey and lived there until I was twenty-two. That is when I moved to Florida. Fall was my absolute favorite time of the year. The long, hot, and humid Summer was over. And I looked forward to the cooler weather. And, I so looked forward to the changing of leaves on the trees. Of course, moving to Florida meant no more wonderful fall weather and no more changing of the trees to fall’s beautiful orange and yellow colors.

When I was a child, I absolutely loved Summertime. The main reason was that I no longer had to attend school. I attended Catholic grade school at Our Lady of Perpetual Help Elementary School for eight years in Maple Shade, NJ. Then I attended St. Mary of the Angel’s Academy Catholic High School in Haddonfield, NJ. For four years the last day of school was a day to celebrate for the teachers as well as the students.

Fall announced the beginning of the school year. I can not tell a lie, and I did not enjoy grade school at all. I made many friends while I attended school, but the regiment was the “dear nuns.” I did not enjoy that at all. But, despite that Fall also meant I had to return to school, it also brought the cool weather and the turning of the tree’s leaves to all their magnificent colors. I absolutely loved it. I would ride all over town on my bike and often rode my bike to Strawbridge Lake. In the winter, my friends and I would ice-skate on the frozen Lake. For the rest of the year, we would walk or ride our bikes to the lake and have picnics there. We would also watch the fishermen. We would walk across the waterfall, which was a No-No, but nonetheless, we would all dare each other to cross over to the other side. We would often spend the whole day there. My parents never asked where we were all day, as long as we got home in time for lunch. They never had any idea what we were up to.

Fall is almost the perfect season because it has everything we want and needs to end happily and begin again. Embrace the change and embrace Fall! Fall also brought Halloween. My second favorite holiday, after Christmas. Not only did we go out Trick or Treating. We also participated in the Halloween parade in our costumes, up and down Main Street in Maple Shade. Fall also brought Halloween. My second favorite holiday, after Christmas. Not only did we go out Trick or Treating. We also participated in the Halloween parade in our costumes, up and down Main Street in Maple Shade.

To top that all off, we would go out trick or treating all over town. And we carried bags to put all the candy into each time we knocked at someone’s house and yelled, “Trick or Treat” at the top of our lungs. I went out with all my girlfriends and the neighborhood boys. And once our bags(pillowcases) were full, we would all return to our homes and dump the candy on the kitchen table. And then, we would go out again until we had filled the bags at least twice.

And let me tell you something: there was no one that had a bigger sweet tooth than me. In fact, I believe the whole Boomer Generation had sweet tooths. Because this was back in the days when there were stores that sold penny candy. And if you had a quarter, you could get twenty-five pieces of candy. I kid you not. Our neighborhood candy store was called Schucks. The Schuck family owned it.

I would spend a day walking up and down Main Street, looking for a change that people had dropped. And sure enough, I always found some change. And no sooner did I see it than I would make my way to Schuck’s. Mrs. Schuck’s family owned the store. And it had a large candy counter with every kind of candy you could imagine. Mrs. Schuck knew all the names of the kids who lived in Maple Shade, where I grew up. She would patiently stand there while I would tell her what candy I wanted, and then she would put them all in a brown paper bag. And I would hand her all my change, which most often was pennies or, if I was lucky, nickels.

In addition to selling penny candy, Schucks had a luncheon counter and made milkshakes, sodas, and hoagies. There was also a separate room for teenagers to play records and dance with one another. I used to watch them from the other side of the swinging doors. I wondered if I would ever get old enough to dance in there when I got bigger. But by the time I became a teenager, Schucks no longer existed.

Oh, the fifties were a wonderful time for us baby boomers. We had almost total freedom. As long as we came home on time for dinner. And, of course, in the Summer, we were free to roam all over town or as far as we could go on our bicycles. I don’t remember my mother ever telling me not to eat all that candy. It’s a wonder that I had a tooth left in my mouth that didn’t have a cavity.

In fifth grade, I developed an abscessed tooth because of all the sweets I ate and the fact that I didn’t always brush my teeth very often. After my parents took me to the dentist, and he read the riot act to them after examining my decayed teeth. He didn’t yell at me, but he should have. But, as a result, my parents, mainly my mother, stood there twice a day and watched me brush my teeth. And from that time forward, I went to a dentist for a check-up once a year.

And although we all loved the Fall, we looked forward to the winter as well. Not only could we go ice skating on Strawbridge Lake, but we would also play in the snow for hours and hours, no matter how cold it was. We only went home if our gloves became too wet, and we had to put on different gloves and new socks to keep them from freezing in our wet boots. We would build igloos and snow men in all our yards. We would sled on the frozen sidewalks and snow until our hands and faces felt as if they were frozen.

Our childhood was a magical time for all of us. We had unlimited freedom. Not only that, it was a time of innocence when our parents didn’t worry about Stranger Danger. That didn’t happen until my children were born in the early 1980s, and we all became paranoid.

It was the last fall that I had experienced for a long time. I grew up in New Jersey and lived there until I was twenty-two. That is when I moved to Florida. Fall was my absolute favorite time of the year. The long, hot, and humid Summer was over. And I looked forward to the cooler weather. And, I so looked forward to the changing of leaves on the trees. Of course, moving to Florida meant no more wonderful fall weather and no more changing of the trees to fall’s beautiful orange and yellow colors.

When I was a child, I loved Summertime. The main reason was that I no longer had to attend school. I attended Catholic grade school at Our Lady of Perpetual Help Elementary School for eight years in Maple Shade, NJ. Then, I attended St. Mary of the Angel’s Academy Catholic High School in Haddonfield, NJ. For four years, the last day of school was for the teachers and the students to celebrate.

Fall announced the beginning of the school year. I can not lie, and I did not enjoy grade school. I made many friends while I attended school, but the regiment was the “dear nuns.” I did not enjoy that at all. But, despite that Fall also meant I had to return to school, it also brought the cool weather and the turning of the trees’ leaves to all their magnificent colors. I absolutely loved it. I would ride all over town on my bike and often rode my bike to Strawbridge Lake. In the winter, my friends and I would ice skate on the frozen Lake. For the rest of the year, we would walk or ride our bikes to the lake and have picnics there. We would also watch the fishermen. We would walk across the waterfall, which was a No-No, but nonetheless, we would all dare each other to cross over to the other side. We would often spend the whole day there. My parents never asked where we were all day until we got home in time for lunch. They never had any idea what we were up to.

Fall is almost the perfect season because it has everything we want and needs to end happily and begin again. Embrace the change and embrace Fall! Fall also brought Halloween. My second favorite holiday is after Christmas. Not only did we go out Trick or Treating. We also participated in the Halloween parade in our costumes, up and down Main Street in Maple Shade. Fall also brought Halloween. My second favorite holiday, after Christmas. Not only did we go out Trick or Treating. We also participated in the Halloween parade in our costumes, up and down Main Street in Maple Shade.

To top that all off, we would go out trick or treating all over town. And we carried bags to put all the candy into each time we knocked at someone’s house and yelled, “Trick or Treat” at the top of our lungs. I went out with all my girlfriends and the neighborhood boys. And once our bags(pillowcases) were full, we would all return to our homes and dump the candy on the kitchen table. And then, we would go out again until we had filled the bags at least twice.

And let me tell you something: there was no one that had a bigger sweet tooth than me. In fact, I believe the whole Boomer Generation had sweet tooths. This was back in the days when stores sold penny candy, and if you had a quarter, you could get twenty-five pieces of candy. I kid you not. Our neighborhood candy store was called Schucks. The Schuck family owned it.

I would spend a day walking up and down Main Street, looking for a change that people had dropped. And sure enough, I always found some change. And no sooner did I see it than I would make my way to Schuck’s. Mrs. Schuck’s family owned the store. And it had a large candy counter with every kind of candy you could imagine. Mrs. Schuck knew all the names of the kids who lived in Maple Shade, where I grew up. She would patiently stand there while I would tell her what candy I wanted, and then she would put them all in a brown paper bag. And I would hand her all my change, which most often was pennies or, if I was lucky, nickels.

In addition to selling penny candy, Schucks had a luncheon counter and made milkshakes, sodas, and hoagies. There was also a separate room for teenagers to play records and dance with one another. I used to watch them from the other side of the swinging doors. I wondered if I would ever get old enough to dance in there when I got bigger. But by the time I became a teenager, Schucks no longer existed.

Oh, the fifties were a wonderful time for us baby boomers. We had almost total freedom as long as we came home on time for dinner. And, of course, in the Summer, we were free to roam all over town or as far as we could go on our bicycles. I remember my mother telling me not to eat all that candy. It’s a wonder that I had a tooth left in my mouth that didn’t have a cavity.

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LIFE AS I HAVE KNOW IT

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I have reached a point in my life when most of my years are behind me and few in front of me. As a result, I have begun reflecting on what I should do with my remaining years, barring unforeseen health issues or unexpected events like getting run over by a car.

I believe that I have lived an interesting life; I’m not famous or rich. However, I have lived my life based on setting certain behavior standards and meeting my goals. In addition, I have made decisions in my life that I felt would benefit my future in some way. Be it big or small. As I reflect on all the years I have lived and what I have accomplished over those years, I feel I have accomplished a great deal considering my background and the times that I grew up in from the early fifties through the 1970s to our present time.

I was born in the early 1950’s. I was part of the Baby Boomer Generation. We were preceded by the Silent Generation and followed by Generation X. I am not, nor will I ever be, either rich or famous. I have never set goals for myself that would enable me to become rich or famous. And that fact does not bother me in the least. I have met many people over my lifetime who have been wealthy, and some have been famous. They did not seem any more content with their lives than I did. I have to admit that, for the most part, I am proud of my accomplishments over the past 73 years, big or poor. I haven’t let fear get in my way. And that is saying a lot because I was a shy and quiet child who came from a large family.

But let me digress for a moment and give you some of my background. My sister and I were fraternal twins born in 1951. We had four older siblings. My oldest siblings were nineteen and twenty years older than us. My subsequent siblings, two sisters, were eight and seven years older than myself and my twin. They might as well have been lightyears ahead of us since there was a significant age gap when we were seven and starting grade school. 

I attended twelve years of Catholic School. My elementary school was less than a block from our childhood home, and the Catholic Church was a mere two houses away from where I grew up in Maple Shade, New Jersey. Going to twelve years of Catholic School had a profound effect on me. When I was attending grade school, we had St. Joseph nuns teaching us. It taught me self-control since not following the directions of the “dear” sisters often had painful consequences. And those consequences were often painful, physically and psychologically. Since the dear sisters were not beyond rapping our small and fragile hands with wooden rulers with metal edges on them, and if that didn’t work, you would be sent to the front of the classroom, where they would bang your head into the blackboard. And worse, they would demean and diminish you by telling you you were stupid.

To some extent, I understand why we were disciplined this way. That was because the classes were overcrowded due to the sheer number of kids in the class, which could be sixty or more. When I was in first grade, there were three first-grade classes because of the number of students entering first grade. My sister and I were required to stay after school and help clear up after the other students. I never questioned why we had to do it, but in retrospect, I suppose the school reduced the cost of the school tuition by having students do physical labor. I also had to go to the convent where the nuns lived on Saturdays and work. My job was cleaning the storage room where the nuns’ food supplies were stored. My sister had to iron the church vestments.

I have to admit I did not put too much effort into studying when I was going to elementary school. But, somehow, I did pass and move forward to Catholic High School. Anyone who wanted to attend Catholic High School had to take a test to get in. There were two Catholic Schools to choose from in our area. We had to take an entrance exam to be accepted into the Catholic High School. I passed both tests and was accepted at St. Mary of the Angels Academy, which was an all-girl School, and Holy Cross High School, where my two older sisters had attended. Somehow, I passed both of them. My parents decided that we would attend the Girl’s School. Because they wanted to keep us from intermingling with boys. I wasn’t particularly interested in boys at that time, so I didn’t care one way or the other. Boys at that time, so I didn’t care one way or the other.

And so my sister and I attended four years of all-girl school at St. Mary of the Angel’s Academy. It was a college prep school, more challenging than a public high school or Holy Cross High School. My parent’s goal was to keep us away and safe from boys during our adolescence so we wouldn’t get pregnant. They were unaware of my lack of interest in boys at that time. Over time, in my late teens and early twenties, I eventually became interested in dating,

I had my first boyfriend when I was twenty-one, David Gatelein. It didn’t last long since we had little in common. He had recently been released from the military with some emotional or mental issues due to fighting in the Vietnam War that I wasn’t aware of for quite a while.

After about a year of dating him, he broke off with me. I was somewhat upset, but I got over it since I hadn’t fallen in love or made any real connection with him. And we had very little in common since the only thing he cared about was sailing and drinking beer. And I didn’t drink and. I didn’t even know how to swim. And that was the end of him.

Not long after that, my best friend invited me over to meet her boy cousin, who just exited the Navy Reserve. His immediate family lived in Florida. And he was visiting all his cousins before he returned home. We hit it off, and after he returned to his home in Florida, we began writing back and forth. Eventually, I decided that this was a person I wanted to be a part of my life. And eventually, we moved to Florida and found a job and an apartment, and after some time passed by, we decided to get married. During my vacation in Florida, I attended the Florida Beauty Academy and earned a license in hairdressing. I’m not sure why I decided to do that since I never had any desire to cut hair or style hair. But, I suppose I thought it would provide an income for us while he was going to school. And it did, over the years, provide additional income.

Of course, many things happened over those fifty years. After we were married, Bob decided he wanted to attend Brooks Institute in California. It was a school that taught photography. While he went to school, I worked full-time. My first job was selling hats and wigs at Robinson’s Department Store. And I there was a more boring job than that I can’t imagine what it would be. I worked there for a year until one of the girls that I met at Robinsons told me about a school for mentally handicapped children. She said they were looking for reliable women to work with the kids; she was volunteering there. She gave me a reference, and I called St. Vincent’s every day for two weeks until they agreed to interview me. Eventually, they did, and after filling out an application and being interviewed by several people, I was hired as a counselor. I worked there for two years. And I loved every minute of it. I can’t describe how much I came to love those kids. I took care of girls ages twelve to seventeen. And I came to love those kids like they were my own. 

After Bob graduated from Brooks Institute, we decided to move back to the New Jersey, Philadelphia area, where Bob thought he had a better chance to find employment. Unfortunately, there weren’t any photography opportunities at that time. He was employed at RCA in Princeton, NJ, as an electronic technician for two years. Until he was hired at GE, he was hired as an engineer lab supervisor for fifteen years.

We had two children, three years apart. And eventually moved from our house in Pennsauken, NJ, to a large home in Pitman, NJ. It had been empty for eight years and was in need of a new roof, new heater, and refrigerator and stove. We spent years updating and redecorating the house. It was 5.000 square feet and was three stories high with two large basements and a two-car garage. We painted the shutters for the fifty-five windows it had and had the house painted. I did all the gardening and took care of the house in general. Bob did all the heavy work. After approximately one year, I opened my own business called The Art Room, where I taught Art to children in the afternoon and adults in the evening. I used the three rooms that had been used by the doctor who lived in the house previous to us. We came to love our house. And we lived there for 24 years.

When we were getting close to retirement age, we realized that the real estate taxes increased every year because of the cost of keeping up this large home. And we knew we could not continue living in our house once we retired. So, with a heavy heart, we put our beautiful home up for sale. It took almost eight months to sell it since most people in the area could not afford such a large house or the taxes to live there. Eventually, a lawyer and his wife, a nurse, made an offer for our house, and we accepted it. They had several children, and the lawyer’s sister was also moving in with them. The house had four bedrooms. And offices, as I mentioned earlier. The day we packed up all our belongings and went to the settlement was one of the most challenging days of my life. I can not tell you how much I loved that home, but we could never retire if we stayed there. So, we went to the settlement, signed away our house, and headed toward the home we had purchased in North Carolina. We have been living here for almost nine years. We live in a quiet neighborhood where everyone keeps to themselves. I still miss all the friends that I had in Pitman, New Jersey. I miss our small town where our kids went to school, and I knew so many of the children and their parents who I came to know through The Art Room. Those were wonderful years with great friends and neighbors, and we were so lucky to have the opportunity to spend our middle years there. I have no regrets.

My husband, my younger daughter, and I live in a small development in Willow Spring with our two dogs, one cat, and ten birds. Oh, I forgot to mention how much I have always loved small children and animals.

Finally, I would like to say that I have had a blessed life and many good times. I have had my share of losses. My older sibling passed away, my beautiful oldest sister, Jeanie, who died of emphysema when she was forty-one, and my oldest sibling, my brother, Hugh, who was a psychologist who passed away five years ago. I am lucky to have still my sister, Eileen, my sister, Liz, and my fraternal twin, Karen, who all live in New Jersey. I also have many nieces and nephews and great-nieces and nephews.

I have been volunteering at an animal sanctuary for the past nine years, caring for parrots, doves, and finches. Over two hundred animals reside there. The sanctuary is located in Coats, NC, on Live Oak Road. If you ever have the opportunity to visit, please do.

I do not know how much longer I will live in this world, but I do know that I plan to make the most of the time I have left. I will always love animals and continue to create art and gardens. Life is short, so make the most of it. Treat people the way you want to be treated. Live your life to the fullest. Try to find something that makes you happy each day. Life goes by so quickly.

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STICKY FINGERS

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As far back as I can remember, I had an uncontrollable impulse to steal. And I’m talking about when I was young, perhaps seven or eight years old. At first, it was nickels and dimes. If my mother, father, sisters, or brothers left their wallet or purse in sight, I would shove nickels, dimes, and quarters in my pockets. Then I would walk down to the 5+10 store and buy cheap toys, like puzzles, crayons, or barrettes for my hair. I didn’t buy them because I didn’t have any. It was because I wanted more. I never seemed to be satisfied with what I already had; I always wanted more and more. And that wasn’t just cheap toys; it also included going to the candy store and buying candy. I was just never satisfied. I always wanted more. I’m surprised that I have most of my teeth after all the candy I ate when I was six or up.

I used to walk up and down Main Street and search for coins or dollar bills that someone had carelessly dropped on the sidewalk. I almost always found some. If I didn’t see any coins on the sidewalk downtown, I would go to our church, go up and down the pews, and pick up all the loose change I found. And I never felt an ounce of guilt.

I also had other expenses that I had to consider. And going to the movies every Saturday afternoon was one of those. It was called the Roxy Theater, and almost every Saturday, there was a new movie. But, even if I had seen the film before, I would have gone to see it again. I just loved going to the movies. All the kids in our small town went to the Saturday Matinee. We would all bring our lunches, which always included a dessert. My mother made a different cake every Saturday. I can not tell you how much I loved my mother’s homemade cakes. They were so delicious. I would have been as big as a house if I wasn’t such an active kid. But I was very active; I roller skated, and I rode my bike from one town to another. I walked to Strawbridge Lake at least once a week when the weather was good. And it was a good three miles away from my hometown. And then, I was out playing with my friends every day until dark at night during the summer. And, of course, while I was riding or walking all over town, I looked for lost coins. I was more than willing to do chores for our neighbors if they paid me.  My father- 1960's

Once I could earn money, I stopped looking for lost money or someone else’s lost coins. And when the time came when I was old enough to babysit my nieces and nephews, I was paid for my time, and I didn’t resort to looking for lost coins on my mother’s change. What ultimately stopped me from looking for lost change and searching the church for coins happened when I was in the fifth grade, and I developed a toothache while in school. And it wasn’t just an ache that hurt once in a while; it was a god-awful abscess due to my constant candy addiction and not brushing my teeth every day. My mother told me to brush my teeth, but I rarely did.

As a result, one day, in the fourth grade, I developed a horrible toothache. In fact, it was an abscessed tooth; I failed to tell my mother or father about it because I was afraid of going to the dentist. However, this abscess was so painful that I started to cry in my classroom, and I told Sister Joseph Catherine, my teacher, that I had a horrible toothache. She didn’t believe me right away, but eventually, she decided I was telling the truth, and the school called my parents and told them that I needed to see a dentist. We only lived two houses from the school, so it was a short walk home. When I got home, I found that my mother and father had contacted a dentist in Philadelphia, and they had made an appointment for me that day. And off we went to the dentist. Well, it turned out that that m tooth was abscessed and had to be pulled. My parents were distraught. They blamed themselves. But it was my fault for eating all the sweets and not brushing my teeth. I was a very stubborn kid. And didn’t always do what I was told or what was good for me. I was quiet for the most part, and I don’t think my parents realized how stubborn and mule-headed I was.

So, we were off to the dentist, who informed my parents that not only did I have an abscessed tooth, but many of my teeth had cavities. And I need a lot of work done. My parents were informed that they needed to observe me brushing my teeth three times daily and cut out all the candy and cakes I ate. And suggested that fruit would be a better snack for me. And I needed to brush my teeth three times a day and go to the dentist at least once a year.

Mom, sitting at the kitchen table,

After that, my mother would come into the bathroom with me after every meal and observe me brush my teeth. Both of my parents had dentures, and they didn’t want me to end up the way they did without teeth. When they were kids, they did not have the opportunity to go to the dentist. My father grew up in an orphanage called “Gerard College.” Where boys with no living fathers grew up, my mother was the youngest of many siblings, and there was no money to pay a dentist. It was a challenge to feed all the members of her family. My mother was born in 1910. My father was born in 1911. his father had passed away, and his mother had to work, so she put him in “Gerard College, and he didn’t leave until he was age. He only saw his mother once a year. He had a difficult and lovely childhood. My father became a bus driver, and my mother met him when she took the bus, and he was the driver.  They proceeded to have six children, and two that didn’t survive. They were married in 1929.

My parents did not have an easy life or marriage. My mother was one of the kindest people I ever knew, and my father cared in his own way, although he could be difficult. I loved my parents deeply and couldn’t imagine having any other parents. And the only regret I ever had was that my parents didn’t live longer lives. My father died in 1986 from lung cancer, he was a long-time smoker, My mother died one year later, from congestive heart failure, I believe her heart broke when my father passed away. They didn’t have a perfect life, but they did the best they could. They died almost forty years ago, and I still miss them to this day. I would give anything to see them one more time. I do not know if there is heaven, but I hope there is one because I would love to see my dear mother and dad again. Even if it was for just a minute. I feel I was blessed with the parents I had and the life they gave me. They worked hard every day and were a blessing to me. And there isn’t a day when I don’t miss them. As for my sticky fingers, once I stopped eating candy and sweets, I no longer had the sticky fingers, and to this day. And I made it a practice to work hard, earn my own money, and never take anything that wasn’t mine. The fact is, I found that working hard and paying my way in life had been bigger blessings than any amount of money or sweets I had ever eaten. And I have to say that my parents were the best example of hard-working and honest people. And I believe they would be proud of my accomplishments if they were still living, including attending Temple University when I was thirty-six and graduating at the top of my class at forty-one years old with two degrees.

My husband, Bob, and myself with my two adult children when we lived in Pitman, NJ

I have been married for fifty years and raised two intelligent and gifted children. I went to college when I was thirty-six and graduated with two degrees and teaching credentials when I was forty-one,. I started my own” The Art Room” business and taught art to children and adults for many years.  Here I am, retired and living in North Carolina. I am far from the shy girl I was as a child, and I do not let anything or anyone stand in the way of the things I want to accomplish. I don’t know how much longer I will be in this life, but I promise you this: I will always do my best, work as hard as I can, and accomplish every challenge that comes my way.

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YOU NEVER KNOW WHERE LIFE WILL TAKE YOU

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At the end of May, I celebrated my seventy-third birthday. That’s right, I’m seventy-three years old. It is almost impossible to believe that many years have flown by so quickly. Nonetheless, that is the reality that I’m facing at this time of my life.

I remember quite clearly when my parents were that age. I recall when my father retired from his long-time job at PTC or SEPTA, which stands for the Pennsylvania Transportation Company. He was the head dispatcher for over forty years. He had started out as a bus driver. And he often mentioned to me how much he loved that job. However, his mother, Elizabeth, insisted that he apply for an office position at SEPTA since she believed it was a position where he could move up the Corporate Ladder. He apparently didn’t feel like he had much choice since his mother was a strong-willed woman who would always get her way. As it turned out, he did as she requested, and he ended up working in that office position for the rest of his working career. His mother ended up living in a nursing home in the last years of her life.

I have a vague memory of meeting my paternal grandmother when she was living in that nursing home. My sister and I were given a long strip of tape with pennies stuck on it. I was thrilled because I looked forward to spending all those pennies at Shucks (a candy store) on Main Street in the town I grew up in, Maple Shade. That was the only time I ever saw her.

I was thirty-six when my father passed away, and a year later, my mother passed. She was seventy-six, and I was thirty-seven when my dear mother passed away from congestive heart failure. I always believed her heart broke when my father died. I spent the last few years of my parent’s lives taking care of them and taking care of my two young children, who were then five and two. My father died of lung cancer. My mother had congestive heart failure.

I can not put into words how deeply I missed my parents and how I grieved for their loss for many years. In fact, it has been thirty-four years since they died, and I still think about them almost every day since then. My parents worked hard and tried to give their children the best life possible. There were six of us. There was a significant age gap between us; my brother, Harry, was twenty years older than me, and my sister, Karen. My oldest sister, Jeanette, was nineteen years older, and Eileen and Liz were eight and seven years older than Karen and I.

So here I am, seventy-three years old, retired, and living in North Carolina. At some point after my mother passed away, I decided that I was going to experience a life that was challenging and interesting. But I also decided I wanted children. At the grand old age of thirty, I had my oldest daughter, Jeanette, and three years later, my daughter, Bridget.

When I was thirty-six, I decided to go to college. I applied to several universities in Philadelphia. I had to write a resume and prepare an art portfolio with my work, paintings, and drawings. I was accepted at all the Universities I applied to. I decided to attend Temple University because they offered me a scholarship for the first year.

This was a challenging decision for me to make, not only was I married, and had a home to take care of but, I had two small children who were six and three years old. And the only money I had was the $900.00 my parents left me after they passed. Each of my siblings received the same amount. And the remainder of my parent’s money went to the cost of their funerals when they passed away.

Tyler School of Art

Before my mother passed away, she told me that I should not put my own needs and ambitions before everyone else’s. If I had a desire to do something, no matter how challenging, I should go for it. And that is exactly what I did.

And so, at the ripe old age of thirty-six, I entered The Tyler School of Art as a Freshman. I can not tell you how many of the students mistook me for a teacher since there was almost twenty years difference between them and myself. Over time, all the students realized that although I was older than them, I was committed to learning as much as I could, and I dedicated every free moment of my life to learning all I could. I always had my assignment on time, I never missed a day of class in four years. And I made it my business to get to know every student I came in contact with a friend.

The professors and teachers at Tyler made it a habit of always calling on me first. In a short time, they realized that I always read the required reading, and my assignments were always completed and handed in on the day they were due. Since my work was always done on time, all the teachers used my artwork, be it outstanding or not, which was the subject of criticism by both the teachers and the students.

I have to say that my decision to go to college at the ripe old age of thirty-six was a good one. And I’ve never regretted it for a moment. I made many friends at Tyler, including some of the teachers. It was the biggest challenge I took in my life, aside from becoming a parent to two children. I didn’t take any summer classes since my children were not in school during the summer. So, I spent all my free time with them. I even babysat my friend and neighbor’s child, who lived several blocks away from us. And she worked full-time.

When I finally completed college and graduated at the top of my class with a 4.0 average and Magnum cum laude and teaching credentials. I have to admit it was one of the most challenging things I ever accomplished. After graduating, I spent many months looking for an art teacher’s position in public and private schools. At some point, I realized that art was being removed from the elementary and high school curriculum, and there weren’t any jobs. This was after I sent my resume to every public and private school in Philadelphia and New Jersey area. I can’t tell you how disappointed I was at the time. I had spent four years of my life in art school at Temple University, only to realize that art classes were no longer taught at the elementary, middle, and high school levels. It appeared as if these programs were no longer funded.

Our Home in Pitman, NJ, and The Art Room, where I taught art for many years to children and adults

After a time, I decided that somehow, somehow, I was going to create my opportunity to teach art. And I did, At the time, were owned a small home in Pennsauken, NJ. I decided to start looking for a larger home, an older home where I could teach art. One day, I found an advertisement for a house for sale in Pitman, NJ. And my husband and I went to the open house. And I knew in a moment that this was the answer to my prayers. It was a big house with three floors and a separate section used by its previous owner as an office. The house had been unoccupied for eight years. And so far noone had made an offer on it.

The day that we went to the open house, I knew this house was the answer to my prayers. The section of the house that had been used for an office had three rooms and two large storage areas. My husband and I talked to the realtor and found out that the house had been unoccupied for at least eight years. And it needed a new roof asap. I didn’t let this stop me. We sold our house in Pennsauken with a rent-to-buy option. And then we made an offer on the house in Pitman, and it was accepted. We moved to the Pitman house in mid-winter. And we spent the next several years improving, painting, and putting a new roof on the house when the weather allowed. I can’t tell you how much work this involved, but it took years. After we setteled in I started advertising all of the town of Pitman, and nearby towns about about Art classed being available for children during the day, and adults in the earling evening. It was slow in the beginning, but over time, it picked up momentum, and I taught art to children, adolescents, and adults for many years. We lived there for twenty-four years. I cannot tell you how much I came to love Pitman, our home, and the people who lived there. Unfortunately, at one point, we could no longer obtain insurance to cover our house and the students who attended my classes, and we had to close down The Art Room. So, at this point, we decided to put up our house for sale and retire.

Our home in NC.

Our home in NC.

And that, my friends, is when my husband and I retired and moved to North Carolina, and we have been there ever since. You never know what challenges you will face in life. But my advice is never to lose faith in yourself and never be afraid to accept a challenge, no matter how difficult it may seem. Keep moving forward in life, and don’t let anyone or anything keep you from accomplishing what you want to achieve in life. Don’t ever lose faith in yourself. At my age, seventy- three I get up first thing in the morning, put one foot in front of the other, and keep moving forward. I have been volunteering at an animal sanctuary for eight almost nine years, and I have been writing this blog for eight years, writing short fictional stories and memoirs. I don’t know what I’ll do next, but I have no fear: I will be doing something exciting and challenging from this moment in my life to my last breath. Never give up on yourself or your ability to accomplish every challenge that comes your way.

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THE LUCK OF THE DRAW

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An older couple kept their life savings in the pages of the books in their home. At first, they put their savings in the Bible. They didn’t think anyone would think to look in the Holy Bible. They were about to look for a retirement home when they won the Jack Pot, $1,280,196. They were over the moon. This is what happened. They were really feeling lucky, so they made a decision to go to Atlantic City.

They were about to leave the casino because they only had a hundred dollars left, but they thought, why not try one more time? It could be their lucky break. The Borgata was the only casino they hadn’t hit, so they double-stepped it down the boardwalk. It was a beautiful sunny day, warm but not humid. There were a whole lot of senior citizens walking up and down the boardwalk.

The beach was crowded with families, with little kids running back and forth and laughing. They looked at one another, remembering the days long ago when they would bring their young children to the beach. Oh, those were the good old days. Now, they rarely saw their grown children. They were too busy with their own lives and young children. They were too busy to visit their parents. They barely knew their own grandchildren.

Just as they were reminiscing about their children’s childhood, they reached the Borgata Casino. Howard and Margie gave each other a hug and went through the Borgata’s double doors. The place was packed. Every slot machine was clinging and clanging, and the overall noise level was overwhelming. The machines were percussive, with high bells and bubbly sounds. The sound tended to wake people up. They were all convinced that they would be the lucky ones to win big.

Howard and Margie had considered going to the casinos for years, but they never did. That is until today. When Margie woke up from a dream about winning big at the Borgata. And now, here they were, chomping at the bit. I’m certain that they would win BIG. They couldn’t wait to get started. They looked all around to find a slot machine that wasn’t occupied. Finally, Margie saw one and was off to try her luck. Howard decided to play cards. Howard was determined that he was going to win big at poker. He played with his friends all the time, and he always won. Of course, his friends played with small change and one-dollar bills, and he won all the time. But, the most he won was fifty dollars.

But today, he was absolutely certain that he was going to win “BIG.” Margie said, “Good luck. I’ll see you in a while. It turned out that there were over 6,000 slot machines at the Borgota, and she was overwhelmed. She didn’t know where to begin. The whole atmosphere was overwhelming, the wall to wall people, the smoke, and the noise level was almost overwhelming. There was even a band playing Heavy Metal. Margie thought she might go mad. She approached Howard and said, “I’m going for a walk on the boardwalk. I’ll be back in an hour. “Ok, see you then.” She waved him goodbye and headed for the front exit to the casino. And then she decided at the last moment to play her lucky coin in the next slot machine she saw before she left. And low and behold, she dropped several coins into the Ugga Bugga Multi-Spin Slot.

And the next thing that happened was all kinds of flashing lights and crazy noise. Everyone in the immediate area looked at her and began gathering around her. She had won the Ugga Bugga Multi-Spin Slot. Margie stood there in a trance, unable to move one way or another. Then, she heard someone yell. “You won, you won.” And everyone started clapping. Maggie looked all around. And she was so overwhelmed and surprised she didn’t know if she should laugh or cry. She did a little of both. Howard came running towards her about that time and said, “What’s going on?’

“What’s going on? I won the the jackpot.”

“You’re kidding, how much?”

“I won $1,280,196..”

“You have got to be kidding.”

Then everyone started clapping and laughing. One of the casino employees asked them to follow him to receive their winnings. The rest of the day was a big blur. They were now, at home, finally able to take a deep breath, sit down, and calm down. They still couldn’t believe their luck.
On the other hand, their phone hadn’t stopped ringing since the big win was announced on their local news. From that time forward, their phone hadn’t stopped ringing between their friends, family, and people they didn’t know from Adam calling and asking for money. It was a miracle and a nightmare all at once.

It was about this time that they realized they needed to get a new phone number and perhaps move to another neighborhood. Neighbors who barely waved at them in the last twenty years were knocking at their door and asking for help. It was a nightmare.. It wasn’t that they were selfish; all of these people who rarely spoke to them felt they had the right to ask them for money, even if they had never spoken to them. That’s when they realized they would have to move if they ever had a moment’s peace. They considered changing their last names. It was becoming a nightmare, not a blessing. The phone that never stopped ringing, the strangers that came knocking at their door. It was relentless.

Finally, they decided the only thing they could do was move far, far away. And never tell anyone they meet about the money they have won. For a long while, they discussed where they would move to, and finally, they decided to move to Singer Island, Florida. They had vacationed there once at the Colonades Hotel and loved it. There was a place called the Collonades Health Center, where a chiropractor was located and a place to get massages and facials. It was wonderful. It was a gorgeous place. Right next to the beach. It became their paradise. One they hope would be their forever home.

They found that many people their age lived on Singer Island. And for the most part, they were well-off. So, they didn’t have to worry about anyone coming to their door asking for money since they had plenty of their own money. People came to Singer Island from as far away as Canada. It was indeed paradise—that is if you had plenty of money. They missed their families but not as much as they thought they might. Life was good.

They began to meet new, welcoming people who lived on Singer Island. It was the best possible outcome for them. They looked forward to many years of sitting on the beach, swimming in the surf, and going out with their new friends. Life can be good.

You never know what or when your circumstances will change. No one knows what their future holds. You have to take one day at a time. You keep your fingers crossed and hope for the best. Life can be a crapshoot. You never know when some unforeseen good fortune will come your way. Or you will suffer some downfall that you could not predict. Howard and Margie decided to take one day at a time and be as happy as possible. Because they knew better than anyone that you could have happened in their lives, they took one day at a time and looked forward to the remainder of their lives would be happy. Yet, they understood that anything good or bad could happen and would do their best to do what they could one day at a time. We can tilt the odds in our favor of living happily to a ripe old age, but we must have a high degree of awareness and exercise self-control. We must show pride in our lives by claiming responsibility for ourselves and all the choices we make during our lives, both the good and the bad. And then move forward with resolve to do their very best.

BETWEEN A ROCK A HARD PLACE

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Life has a way of teaching people right from wrong and the consequences of choosing wrongdoing. Now, I’ve never described myself as any kind of saint or do-gooder. But, on the other hand, I’ve never intentionally hurt anyone. Although I know I have hurt people. It was not my intention. After all, I had to look out for my own best interest, didn’t I? 

“ I mean, we all have to look out for our best interest, don’t we? Just recently, I was up for a promotion at my workplace. I have been working there for almost five years and haven’t had a raise or a promotion. And to tell you the truth, I know damm well, I deserve it. I worked hours of overtime every week, and many times, I wasn’t even paid for the overtime. I sat by and watched several fellow employees get promoted and paid higher pay even though I’ve worked at this company for several years longer than they have. And to tell you the truth, I’ve had enough; it’s unfair. And I intend to make some changes somewhere, somehow.

Just last week I was about to leave for the day, when my boss, Mr. Conway called me into his office and asked me to close out the customer file I was working on before I left that day, since it was Friday night. I stared blankly at him for a minute or two. And I stammered, ‘but, this is Friday night, I have plans tonight, I promised my wife dinner and a movie. I haven’t been home before nine O’clock for the past month.”

My boss looked at me like I was out of my mind. ” Your wife wants you home early? Well, that’s unfortunate. I suggest you take her out on Saturday night. If you don’t finish this file tonight, we will lose this contract, and then, unfortunately, you will most likely lose your job. It’s your choice.”

I stared at my boss for at least five minutes before I responded. “I just can’t stay late tonight. I will make it up next week. Today is our tenth wedding aniversary. And I can’t disappoint her again; you understand that, don’t you?”

“I understand. I have my own family as well, but my job has to come first, or I won’t be able to take care of my family, and you won’t either if you don’t go back to your desk and finish this tonight.”

I took a deep breath and said,” Finish the file; yes, I understand. I’ll get to it.” I grabbed the file, turned, and returned to my workstation without another word. I felt like my head was going to explode. I could feel my pulse racing, I hoped I didn’t have a stroke or something, then where would my family be. I picked up the phone to let my wife know I wouldn’t be home until late again. I knew she was going to be angry. I was between a rock and a hard place, as my father used to say.

As soon as my wife picked up the phone, she said,” Let me guess, you’ll be late. Do you realize the kids haven’t seen you in almost a week? When are you going to make your family a priority?”

“Helen, you and the kids are my only priority, but how will I pay the mortgage, all the bills, and the tuition for the private schools if I don’t have a job? What can I say?”

“Ok, Ok, I understand, but I don’t like it. But I know you don’t have a choice. Be careful coming home. I’ll explain to the kids why you won’t see them until Saturday.”

“Ok, Helen, let’s make plans to take the kids hiking, to the zoo, or to something fun they like to do. I promise you I’ll make it up to you and them. Maybe your mother can babysit Saturday night, and you and I could go to dinner together? What do you say?”

“That sounds great, Bill. Be careful driving home. I put some dinner in the fridge for you in case I’m in bed when you get home. Drive carefully.”

“I will, Helen; you know you and the kids are my priority, even if it doesn’t seem that way now. I’ll see you later, love you. And then I saw my boss staring at me from across the room. “I thought I clarified that you were to get to work and finish that file. If I can’t depend on you, I will have to start looking for someone who can keep up and make their jog their priority.”

I stared at him momentarily and said,’ You know I have been working overtime for the past several years. I rarely see my kids or my wife. I work more overtime than anyone in this office, including you.’

“Is that right? Well, maybe you should start looking for another position somewhere else. If your family is more important than your job?”

“You’re right. I should start looking for another job, but I’ve been offered several positions in the last several months. And I turned them down because I felt loyalty towards this company. But I can see that doesn’t swing both ways. You always threaten my job if I don’t work twenty-four-seven. I haven’t had a vacation in three years. I hardly ever see my family. Frankly, I’ve had several job offers from our competitors in the past several months. So, let me put this another way: I quit. Good luck replaciing me. I know very few people in this business will work at the company because you have a reputation for treating employees like you own them. So, goodbye, and good luck.”

With that, I walked over to my desk, packed my belongings, and grabbed my keys. And went on my merry way. My “former boss” looked at me with eyes so wide, I thought they might fall out of their sockets.’ And then he said, “ wait, wait don’t decide this without and forethought. You will have a hard time getting a job like this again. I won’t give you any recommendation. You’ll regret it. “

“I feel a weight lifted off my back already, and I won’t regret it.” You will regret it because I’m the only employee with a good relationship with our customers.” None of them ever want to interact with the upper echelon.” With that, I grabbed all my personal property off my desk and out of the desk drawers, turned my back, and walked out of the employee’s exit without looking back. I felt a weight lift off my shoulders and could finally take a deep breath again.

“And that, my friends, was the beginning of my new life. I was offered executive positions with several companies I had dealt with over the past decade, and they all offered me benefits like higher pay, paid vacation time, and no late Friday nights. My wife was overjoyed, and my kids were so happy to be able to spend more time with their “dear dad.” And I was in hog heaven, a job I loved, and I didn’t have to work overtime every night. I had four weeks of vacation each year. And bosses that believed their employees had the right to a personal life with their family. From that day forward, I looked forward to going to work and interacting with people who had respect for their fellow employees. “

Over time, I got to know my fellow workers, and they all told me how much they loved this company and the owners. We were all owners of this company because we could buy stock if we chose to do so. So, don’t let anyone tell you to stick to your job no matter what. There is always another path you can take in your life. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. And by the way, my wife and I are going on a second honeymoon for a week on our anniversary to Bermuda, where we spent our first honeymoon. My kids will be spoiled for a week by their grandparents, who promised to take them to an amusement park. So, whatever you do in life, don’t give up. You can always take another path; don’t let anyone tell you differently.

LIFE GOES ON, EVEN WHEN WE LOSE ONE OF OUR LOVED ONES

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The longer I live, the more I realize that what you do in life and put out there will return to you in some form. If you are a caring and generous person, you will be on the receiving end of generosity and love. But you must be aware that people will no doubt try to take advantage of your generous heart. If you are a self-absorbed and selfish person who takes advantage of people, that will come back on you. Karma does exist, have no doubt.

This is a lesson I have learned over my lifetime. When I was younger, I was naive and believed all people were decent, kind, and generous. But, over the years, I learned that this isn’t true. Some people are selfish and self-absorbed, and some have a generous and caring nature and will give you the shirt off their back if needed. My mother was the kindest and most caring person I have ever had. She worked hard every day. She was a loving mother who always put her children’s needs before her own. And if need be, she would get a job to help with my family finances. And not once did I ever hear her complain. Not once.

My mother was a role model in other ways. She was a deeply spiritual woman. She attended Mass at the OLPH Church every morning, said the rosary every afternoon, and prayed for all her children and grandchildren. We lived two houses down from the Catholic church. She was a member of the Altar and Rosary Society. She never said an unkind word against anyone.

When I was about to graduate from the eight grade my mother started cleaning at the public school in our town, in addition she began to clean other people’s houses to make money to help pay for our school tuition. Eventually, she got a job when I was about to enter high school, cooking in the employee’s kitchen at Wanamaker’s at the Moorestown Mall in New Jersey. She took the bus back and forth to work. I can’t remember a single complaint ever from my mother. Regardless of the weather. Be it the unbearable heat of the summer, or a snowy day when there was oftern three or feet of snow.

My oldest sister, Jeanie who died from emphysema

My oldest sister, Jeanie, died from emphysema when she was forty-one.

She worried about each of her children and grandchildren. I believe she worried the most about my oldest sister, Jeanie. Who became ill when she was twenty-eight. She was diagnosed with Alpha One Antitripsin Deficiency, which is a genetic form of emphysema. This disease affects the liver, the heart, and breathing. At that time, there was no cure. However, my sister agreed to try any treatment that the medical professionals believed might extend my sister’s life. And help other people who also developed emphysema.

My mother began to dedicate her prayers to the belief that god would cure my dear sister, Jeanie.

My sister passed away when she was forty-one. I was living in California at the time. When my husband, Bob, was attending college. To say that my mother and my father were devastated would be an understatement of all time. Losing one of your children, no matter what their age, is a devasting loss for any parent.

Jeanie, my oldest sister, was never anything but kind and loving towards me as was her dear husband Patrick Kernan. Pat kept in touch with my family and myself long after my dear sister passed away. Patrick and Jeanie had two children, Jennifer and Patrick Jr. I can not imagine the loss they felt when their dear mother passed away or the suffering they endured during the years when Jeanie was ill.

It was a long time before I could stop crying whenever my dear sister Jeanie’s name was mentioned or she came into my thoughts. Honestly, I don’t know if I’ve ever gotten over the loss of my sister. She was intelligent and funny. I still miss her to this day. I don’t know if there is a heaven, but if there is, I look forward to seeing my dear sister there.

For many years I tried to comprehend why my sister, Jeanie developed emphysema and I could never really understand why she did. I wondered how my sister’s illness and ultimate loss of life affected her two young children, Patrick and Jennifer. I can not imagine that watching their dear mother become increasingly ill as she was with emphysema must have been devastating and unbelievably painful for them. Jeanie’s husband Pat was one of the most caring and loving husbands. He took care of Jeanie to the end. He will always hold a special place in my heart.

Jeanie taught me many things over my lifetime, such as real love and not giving up on somebody when things get really bad. You stand behind them and continue to care for them until the end. That human beings have a strong inner core and withstand and overcome many things without giving in, they lose their loved ones, and keep going one day at a time.

And now, here I am at the ripe old age of seventy-three. I don’t know how much longer I will live, but I know I intend to live every moment to its fullest. And someday, if there is a heaven or an afterlife, I hope to meet my dear mother and father, my sister, Jeanie, my brother, Harry, and his wonderful wife, Maryanne, again.

Life is a gift, and we try to embrace every moment of it. Keep in mind how time passes by quickly, and so do the people we have known and loved all our lives. Keep them in your heart and your thoughts. Don’t forget them.