I have reached a point in my life when most of my years are behind me and few in front of me. As a result, I have begun reflecting on what I should do with my remaining years, barring unforeseen health issues or unexpected events like getting run over by a car.

I believe that I have lived an interesting life; I’m not famous or rich. However, I have lived my life based on setting certain behavior standards and meeting my goals. In addition, I have made decisions in my life that I felt would benefit my future in some way. Be it big or small. As I reflect on all the years I have lived and what I have accomplished over those years, I feel I have accomplished a great deal considering my background and the times that I grew up in from the early fifties through the 1970s to our present time.

I was born in the early 1950’s. I was part of the Baby Boomer Generation. We were preceded by the Silent Generation and followed by Generation X. I am not, nor will I ever be, either rich or famous. I have never set goals for myself that would enable me to become rich or famous. And that fact does not bother me in the least. I have met many people over my lifetime who have been wealthy, and some have been famous. They did not seem any more content with their lives than I did. I have to admit that, for the most part, I am proud of my accomplishments over the past 73 years, big or poor. I haven’t let fear get in my way. And that is saying a lot because I was a shy and quiet child who came from a large family.

But let me digress for a moment and give you some of my background. My sister and I were fraternal twins born in 1951. We had four older siblings. My oldest siblings were nineteen and twenty years older than us. My subsequent siblings, two sisters, were eight and seven years older than myself and my twin. They might as well have been lightyears ahead of us since there was a significant age gap when we were seven and starting grade school. 

I attended twelve years of Catholic School. My elementary school was less than a block from our childhood home, and the Catholic Church was a mere two houses away from where I grew up in Maple Shade, New Jersey. Going to twelve years of Catholic School had a profound effect on me. When I was attending grade school, we had St. Joseph nuns teaching us. It taught me self-control since not following the directions of the “dear” sisters often had painful consequences. And those consequences were often painful, physically and psychologically. Since the dear sisters were not beyond rapping our small and fragile hands with wooden rulers with metal edges on them, and if that didn’t work, you would be sent to the front of the classroom, where they would bang your head into the blackboard. And worse, they would demean and diminish you by telling you you were stupid.

To some extent, I understand why we were disciplined this way. That was because the classes were overcrowded due to the sheer number of kids in the class, which could be sixty or more. When I was in first grade, there were three first-grade classes because of the number of students entering first grade. My sister and I were required to stay after school and help clear up after the other students. I never questioned why we had to do it, but in retrospect, I suppose the school reduced the cost of the school tuition by having students do physical labor. I also had to go to the convent where the nuns lived on Saturdays and work. My job was cleaning the storage room where the nuns’ food supplies were stored. My sister had to iron the church vestments.

I have to admit I did not put too much effort into studying when I was going to elementary school. But, somehow, I did pass and move forward to Catholic High School. Anyone who wanted to attend Catholic High School had to take a test to get in. There were two Catholic Schools to choose from in our area. We had to take an entrance exam to be accepted into the Catholic High School. I passed both tests and was accepted at St. Mary of the Angels Academy, which was an all-girl School, and Holy Cross High School, where my two older sisters had attended. Somehow, I passed both of them. My parents decided that we would attend the Girl’s School. Because they wanted to keep us from intermingling with boys. I wasn’t particularly interested in boys at that time, so I didn’t care one way or the other. Boys at that time, so I didn’t care one way or the other.

And so my sister and I attended four years of all-girl school at St. Mary of the Angel’s Academy. It was a college prep school, more challenging than a public high school or Holy Cross High School. My parent’s goal was to keep us away and safe from boys during our adolescence so we wouldn’t get pregnant. They were unaware of my lack of interest in boys at that time. Over time, in my late teens and early twenties, I eventually became interested in dating,

I had my first boyfriend when I was twenty-one, David Gatelein. It didn’t last long since we had little in common. He had recently been released from the military with some emotional or mental issues due to fighting in the Vietnam War that I wasn’t aware of for quite a while.

After about a year of dating him, he broke off with me. I was somewhat upset, but I got over it since I hadn’t fallen in love or made any real connection with him. And we had very little in common since the only thing he cared about was sailing and drinking beer. And I didn’t drink and. I didn’t even know how to swim. And that was the end of him.

Not long after that, my best friend invited me over to meet her boy cousin, who just exited the Navy Reserve. His immediate family lived in Florida. And he was visiting all his cousins before he returned home. We hit it off, and after he returned to his home in Florida, we began writing back and forth. Eventually, I decided that this was a person I wanted to be a part of my life. And eventually, we moved to Florida and found a job and an apartment, and after some time passed by, we decided to get married. During my vacation in Florida, I attended the Florida Beauty Academy and earned a license in hairdressing. I’m not sure why I decided to do that since I never had any desire to cut hair or style hair. But, I suppose I thought it would provide an income for us while he was going to school. And it did, over the years, provide additional income.

Of course, many things happened over those fifty years. After we were married, Bob decided he wanted to attend Brooks Institute in California. It was a school that taught photography. While he went to school, I worked full-time. My first job was selling hats and wigs at Robinson’s Department Store. And I there was a more boring job than that I can’t imagine what it would be. I worked there for a year until one of the girls that I met at Robinsons told me about a school for mentally handicapped children. She said they were looking for reliable women to work with the kids; she was volunteering there. She gave me a reference, and I called St. Vincent’s every day for two weeks until they agreed to interview me. Eventually, they did, and after filling out an application and being interviewed by several people, I was hired as a counselor. I worked there for two years. And I loved every minute of it. I can’t describe how much I came to love those kids. I took care of girls ages twelve to seventeen. And I came to love those kids like they were my own. 

After Bob graduated from Brooks Institute, we decided to move back to the New Jersey, Philadelphia area, where Bob thought he had a better chance to find employment. Unfortunately, there weren’t any photography opportunities at that time. He was employed at RCA in Princeton, NJ, as an electronic technician for two years. Until he was hired at GE, he was hired as an engineer lab supervisor for fifteen years.

We had two children, three years apart. And eventually moved from our house in Pennsauken, NJ, to a large home in Pitman, NJ. It had been empty for eight years and was in need of a new roof, new heater, and refrigerator and stove. We spent years updating and redecorating the house. It was 5.000 square feet and was three stories high with two large basements and a two-car garage. We painted the shutters for the fifty-five windows it had and had the house painted. I did all the gardening and took care of the house in general. Bob did all the heavy work. After approximately one year, I opened my own business called The Art Room, where I taught Art to children in the afternoon and adults in the evening. I used the three rooms that had been used by the doctor who lived in the house previous to us. We came to love our house. And we lived there for 24 years.

When we were getting close to retirement age, we realized that the real estate taxes increased every year because of the cost of keeping up this large home. And we knew we could not continue living in our house once we retired. So, with a heavy heart, we put our beautiful home up for sale. It took almost eight months to sell it since most people in the area could not afford such a large house or the taxes to live there. Eventually, a lawyer and his wife, a nurse, made an offer for our house, and we accepted it. They had several children, and the lawyer’s sister was also moving in with them. The house had four bedrooms. And offices, as I mentioned earlier. The day we packed up all our belongings and went to the settlement was one of the most challenging days of my life. I can not tell you how much I loved that home, but we could never retire if we stayed there. So, we went to the settlement, signed away our house, and headed toward the home we had purchased in North Carolina. We have been living here for almost nine years. We live in a quiet neighborhood where everyone keeps to themselves. I still miss all the friends that I had in Pitman, New Jersey. I miss our small town where our kids went to school, and I knew so many of the children and their parents who I came to know through The Art Room. Those were wonderful years with great friends and neighbors, and we were so lucky to have the opportunity to spend our middle years there. I have no regrets.

My husband, my younger daughter, and I live in a small development in Willow Spring with our two dogs, one cat, and ten birds. Oh, I forgot to mention how much I have always loved small children and animals.

Finally, I would like to say that I have had a blessed life and many good times. I have had my share of losses. My older sibling passed away, my beautiful oldest sister, Jeanie, who died of emphysema when she was forty-one, and my oldest sibling, my brother, Hugh, who was a psychologist who passed away five years ago. I am lucky to have still my sister, Eileen, my sister, Liz, and my fraternal twin, Karen, who all live in New Jersey. I also have many nieces and nephews and great-nieces and nephews.

I have been volunteering at an animal sanctuary for the past nine years, caring for parrots, doves, and finches. Over two hundred animals reside there. The sanctuary is located in Coats, NC, on Live Oak Road. If you ever have the opportunity to visit, please do.

I do not know how much longer I will live in this world, but I do know that I plan to make the most of the time I have left. I will always love animals and continue to create art and gardens. Life is short, so make the most of it. Treat people the way you want to be treated. Live your life to the fullest. Try to find something that makes you happy each day. Life goes by so quickly.

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As far back as I can remember, I had an uncontrollable impulse to steal. And I’m talking about when I was young, perhaps seven or eight years old. At first, it was nickels and dimes. If my mother, father, sisters, or brothers left their wallet or purse in sight, I would shove nickels, dimes, and quarters in my pockets. Then I would walk down to the 5+10 store and buy cheap toys, like puzzles, crayons, or barrettes for my hair. I didn’t buy them because I didn’t have any. It was because I wanted more. I never seemed to be satisfied with what I already had; I always wanted more and more. And that wasn’t just cheap toys; it also included going to the candy store and buying candy. I was just never satisfied. I always wanted more. I’m surprised that I have most of my teeth after all the candy I ate when I was six or up.

I used to walk up and down Main Street and search for coins or dollar bills that someone had carelessly dropped on the sidewalk. I almost always found some. If I didn’t see any coins on the sidewalk downtown, I would go to our church, go up and down the pews, and pick up all the loose change I found. And I never felt an ounce of guilt.

I also had other expenses that I had to consider. And going to the movies every Saturday afternoon was one of those. It was called the Roxy Theater, and almost every Saturday, there was a new movie. But, even if I had seen the film before, I would have gone to see it again. I just loved going to the movies. All the kids in our small town went to the Saturday Matinee. We would all bring our lunches, which always included a dessert. My mother made a different cake every Saturday. I can not tell you how much I loved my mother’s homemade cakes. They were so delicious. I would have been as big as a house if I wasn’t such an active kid. But I was very active; I roller skated, and I rode my bike from one town to another. I walked to Strawbridge Lake at least once a week when the weather was good. And it was a good three miles away from my hometown. And then, I was out playing with my friends every day until dark at night during the summer. And, of course, while I was riding or walking all over town, I looked for lost coins. I was more than willing to do chores for our neighbors if they paid me. 

Once I could earn money, I stopped looking for lost money or someone else’s lost coins. And when the time came when I was old enough to babysit my nieces and nephews, I was paid for my time, and I didn’t resort to looking for lost coins on my mother’s change. What ultimately stopped me from looking for lost change and searching the church for coins happened when I was in the fifth grade, and I developed a toothache while in school. And it wasn’t just an ache that hurt once in a while; it was a god-awful abscess due to my constant candy addiction and not brushing my teeth every day. My mother told me to brush my teeth, but I rarely did.

As a result, one day, in the fourth grade, I developed a horrible toothache. In fact, it was an abscessed tooth; I failed to tell my mother or father about it because I was afraid of going to the dentist. However, this abscess was so painful that I started to cry in my classroom, and I told Sister Joseph Catherine, my teacher, that I had a horrible toothache. She didn’t believe me right away, but eventually, she decided I was telling the truth, and the school called my parents and told them that I needed to see a dentist. We only lived two houses from the school, so it was a short walk home. When I got home, I found that my mother and father had contacted a dentist in Philadelphia, and they had made an appointment for me that day. And off we went to the dentist. Well, it turned out that that m tooth was abscessed and had to be pulled. My parents were distraught. They blamed themselves. But it was my fault for eating all the sweets and not brushing my teeth. I was a very stubborn kid. And didn’t always do what I was told or what was good for me. I was quiet for the most part, and I don’t think my parents realized how stubborn and mule-headed I was.

So, we were off to the dentist, who informed my parents that not only did I have an abscessed tooth, but many of my teeth had cavities. And I need a lot of work done. My parents were informed that they needed to observe me brushing my teeth three times daily and cut out all the candy and cakes I ate. And suggested that fruit would be a better snack for me. And I needed to brush my teeth three times a day and go to the dentist at least once a year.

Mom, sitting at the kitchen table,

After that, my mother would come into the bathroom with me after every meal and observe me brush my teeth. Both of my parents had dentures, and they didn’t want me to end up the way they did without teeth. When they were kids, they did not have the opportunity to go to the dentist. My father grew up in an orphanage called “Gerard College.” Where boys with no living fathers grew up, my mother was the youngest of many siblings, and there was no money to pay a dentist. It was a challenge to feed all the members of her family. My mother was born in 1910. My father was born in 1911. his father had passed away, and his mother had to work, so she put him in “Gerard College, and he didn’t leave until he was age. He only saw his mother once a year. He had a difficult and lovely childhood. My father became a bus driver, and my mother met him when she took the bus, and he was the driver.  They proceeded to have six children, and two that didn’t survive. They were married in 1929.

My parents did not have an easy life or marriage. My mother was one of the kindest people I ever knew, and my father cared in his own way, although he could be difficult. I loved my parents deeply and couldn’t imagine having any other parents. And the only regret I ever had was that my parents didn’t live longer lives. My father died in 1986 from lung cancer, he was a long-time smoker, My mother died one year later, from congestive heart failure, I believe her heart broke when my father passed away. They didn’t have a perfect life, but they did the best they could. They died almost forty years ago, and I still miss them to this day. I would give anything to see them one more time. I do not know if there is heaven, but I hope there is one because I would love to see my dear mother and dad again. Even if it was for just a minute. I feel I was blessed with the parents I had and the life they gave me. They worked hard every day and were a blessing to me. And there isn’t a day when I don’t miss them. As for my sticky fingers, once I stopped eating candy and sweets, I no longer had the sticky fingers, and to this day. And I made it a practice to work hard, earn my own money, and never take anything that wasn’t mine. The fact is, I found that working hard and paying my way in life had been bigger blessings than any amount of money or sweets I had ever eaten. And I have to say that my parents were the best example of hard-working and honest people. And I believe they would be proud of my accomplishments if they were still living, including attending Temple University when I was thirty-six and graduating at the top of my class at forty-one years old with two degrees.

My husband, Bob, and myself with my two adult children when we lived in Pitman, NJ

I have been married for fifty years and raised two intelligent and gifted children. I went to college when I was thirty-six and graduated with two degrees and teaching credentials when I was forty-one,. I started my own” The Art Room” business and taught art to children and adults for many years.  Here I am, retired and living in North Carolina. I am far from the shy girl I was as a child, and I do not let anything or anyone stand in the way of the things I want to accomplish. I don’t know how much longer I will be in this life, but I promise you this: I will always do my best, work as hard as I can, and accomplish every challenge that comes my way.

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As I look back over the many years of my life, I realize that the times I enjoyed the most were Summer vacations during my grade school years. My generation, the Baby Boomers, had complete freedom during the summer. Our parents would tell us that we had to be home once it got dark out. They never asked us where we went or what we were doing. However, we often stayed out long after it got dark. If we didn’t come home when it was dark, our mothers would call us out the front door to go home. I grew up in a small town in New Jersey called Maple Shade. Everyone in the neighborhood knew all their neighbors. And they would watch out for their neighbor’s kids.

After dinner, all the neighborhood kids were allowed to go outside and play. We would play hide and seek. The only problem was that the mosquitoes would eat you alive during the summer in South Jersey. But we didn’t let that stop us. Regardless of the mosquitoes, we played outside until our parents called us to come in. The first thing my mother would say when I came in the front door was, “Susan, close the door before all the mosquitoes come in.” Often by the time she said that there were mosquitoes already in the house.

We didn’t have air conditioners back then, but there was always a big, electric fan in the window that would circulate the air and hopefully cool the bedroom out a little. And let me tell you, it was hot and humid. We were under constant attack by mosquitoes all day and all night. The worst thing was the mosquitoes buzzing in your face all night.

When I was young, I shared a room with my twin sister, and my two older sisters slept in a bed beside ours. My brother had a bedroom of his own. My older sister had a room of her own as well. My brother, Harry, was twenty years older than me, and my oldest sister, Jeanie, was fifteen years older. My next older siblings were seven and eight years older than my twin sister and I.

We were an Irish Catholic family. We lived two houses away from the Catholic church and the elementary school I attended for eight years. Our neighbors were Catholic, either Irish or Italian, and had large families. Some of my elementary school friends had as many as ten or twelve kids. It wasn’t unheard of for some families to have ten or more children. They did not have large homes. For the most part, most of the homes in Maple Shade were two stories but only had three bedrooms, an eat-in kitchen, and one bathroom. We only had one bathroom and six siblings. So, as you can imagine, we didn’t get to spend too much time in the bathroom.

As time went by, my older siblings got married and moved away. My oldest sister, Jeanie, moved to New York, and I rarely saw her unless she came home to visit my parents. After several years, my older sibling and their spouses began having children. I was happy when they visited my parents since I could spend time with my nieces and nephews. And I loved spending time with little kids. I was so proud to be their aunt. And I used to take them all over my neighborhood to show them off.

When I got a little older, I babysat my sister’s kids. I couldn’t wait until I grew up and could have my own children; until then, I had to be satisfied by my animal menagerie. We had a dog and birds, and I had hamsters and gerbils. I loved animals almost as much as I loved little kids.

Strawbridge Lake

As I was saying, Summer during my childhood was the best time. The older I got, the more I used to roam all over Maple Shade and nearby parks and lakes—especially Strawbridge Lake, which was several miles away from where I lived. I used to ride my bike there every chance I had. There was a bridge and a waterfall there. And I just loved to walk across the bridge. I used to take all my best friends with me. Our parents never asked where we were going, and they just told us to be on time for lunch and dinner. Sometimes, we would take a picnic lunch and a blanket with us and eat our lunch by the lake. It wasn’t a lake you could swim in; it had fish. But, we would take our shoes off and walk in the shallow end of the lake.

There were always a lot of kids around, and we would play with them as well. We would go on the swings and the sliding board. I never told my parents where we went, and they didn’t ask. But if we were late coming home, my mother would be upset. I never had a watch when I was a kid, so I’m not sure how I was supposed to know what time it was.

And one of our neighbors. The Phiefers had a built-in pool in their backyard. All the kids in the neighborhood would go swimming in their pool every Summer. The deepest part of the pool was four feet. I never learned how to swim, and as a result, I nearly drowned a couple of times. One day, I found myself at the deep end, grabbed onto Denny Pheiffer, and almost drowned him as well. And that was the end of my swimming in the Pheiffers’ pool.

Luckily, I had a lot of girlfriends in Maple Shade, and they also had pools. On Saturdays, we would all visit the Roxy Theater in downtown Maple Shade and see two movies for twenty-five cents. Sometimes, we would see the same movie again and again. If we got tired, we would take a bus to the roller skating rink and roller skate for hours.

But the best holiday was Halloween. Everyone in town celebrated it. All the kids would go from house to house to get candy. My friends and I went to every house. I’m not exaggerating. We would take an empty pillow case, and it would be filled up with candy. We would take it home, drop the candy off at our houses, and then go out again and fill the pillowcase with candy again. The whole downtown was decorated for Halloween, and the movie theater would have a spooky movie playing, and all the kids would go to see it for twenty-five cents.

Susan Culver- high school graduation picture

By the night’s end, I was always sick when it was time to go home. I’m surprised I have any teeth in my head after many years of celebrating Halloween. Although, I have to admit that by the time I was ten or eleven, I had a great many cavities. And I had to go to the dentist to have them all filled. At some point, my parents decided that I wasn’t going to go out trick or treating anymore. So, we would just watch a spooky movie instead.

And then there was Christmas. I can not describe how much I looked forward to Christmas. Where I was sure I would find a Christmas tree loaded with presents with my name on them. But, Alas, I usually only received two presents. But, somehow, the anticipation of Christmas and the one or two presents I did receive made me happy enough. That was until I went to my best girlfriend’s house after Christmas Mass, and she showed me the presents she had received. There were only two children in her family at that time. And I had five siblings. But I was still happy with the Christmas gifts I received.

And then there was the joy of the first heavy snow that came down on Maple Shade. My friends and I would stay out for hours and hours. We would slip and slide on the frozen snow or shovel the snow and make large snow mountains to climb and slide down. We would all stay out until we were practically pop cycles. There aren’t words to describe the fun we had on a cold and snowy day with all our neighborhood friends.

I’m not saying that my childhood was perfect, but it was when I had a great deal of freedom, no responsibilities, and many friends to play with all year round. My parents did not discuss family matters, good or bad, before me or my twin sister. I don’t recall my parents ever disagreeing when I was around. If my parents had financial problems, I never knew about them. We always had our needs met, never went hungry, and got new clothes if we needed them.

I have many happy memories of my childhood. I believe my childhood overall was a good one. My parents protected us from difficulties they encountered during my early years. My mother was the kindest and most caring person I have ever known in my long lifetime. My father worked hard to take care of our family. We never lacked anything. My two older sisters, myself, and my twin Karen all attended private Catholic schools. We were given every opportunity to succeed in our lives. My parents did everything they could. Were they perfect? No, they were not, but I can not imagine having other parents. And although my father passed away from lung cancer in 1986, and my dear mother passed away a year later in 1987, I still miss them and think of them nearly every day.

I don’t know if there is a heaven but it there is I hope my mother and my father will be waiting patiently for me to arrive at heaven’s door some time in the future.