My dear mother passed away in 1987

Life Isn’t Always A Bowl Of Cherries. I’ve heard this expression throughout my life many times. And I get it. No one’s life is perfect all the time. As we go through life, we will occasionally face difficult times. We can face health issues that we never would have thought would affect us. This has happened to me. When I was in my early 50s, I started experiencing angina pains up and down my right arm. Then, I began getting short of breath when going up and down steps or sometimes just walking too fast. I tried to ignore it, but it didn’t go away. So, I decided I would make an appointment to see my regular doctor.

The doctor listened to my heart and took my blood pressure. I was asked multiple questions about what I was doing at the time. I noticed changes in my ability to walk without shortness of breath, etc. My primary physician gave me a referral to a cardiologist. I was shaken up about the whole thing. I had just turned fifty, and in general, I had good health. I rarely got sick, I didn’t drink, I didn’t eat meat. I exercised every day. Nonetheless, it seemed as if I had a cardiac condition.

As I was leaving the doctor’s office, tears started running down my face. All I could think about was my mother. She had congestive heart failure, and ultimately, she died from it. Even though she was being treated for it. I was thirty-six when she passed away. My children were six and three at the time. They never really got to know either of my parents since my father had died the year before my mother died from lung cancer. He had been a long-time smoker;, sometimes, he smoked two packs a day. I never smoked. My mother smoked, but she only smoked two cigarettes a day. As it turns out, congestive heart failure is an inherited trait. And unfortunately, I inherited that trait.

Life is full of challenges. We have to face them and deal with them the best we can. We do not get out of life alive. Eventually, we will all pass away from something. I grew up in a family with six siblings. I had an older brother, Hugh who was twenty years older thatn I was, and my sister,, Jeanie who was ninteen years older than I was. Unfortunately, my sister, Jeanie, developed Emphysema; It was called Alpha-1 antitrypsin (AAT) deficiency. It is a genetic disorder that causes low levels of AAT, a protein that protects the lungs and liver. It’s also known as “genetic COPD” or “genetic emphysema.” It is an inherited trait. When she was forty-one, she passed away. She was among the kindest, generous, funniest people I ever knew. And she was absolutely beautiful. It has been almost fifty years since she passed away.

I still have three siblings, including my twin sister. My oldest sister, Eileen, was diagnosed with cancer a year ago and has spent the last year being treated with Chemotherapy and radiation. After a year, the doctors believe she is cancer-free. I can not tell you how much I admire my sister, who followed the doctor’s orders, endured the treatment, and never complained. She is my hero. My only wish for her is that in her remaining years, she remains cancer-free and healthy. My oldest sibling, who was twenty years older than me, passed away five years ago. My sister, who is my fraternal twin, has diabetes, but other than that, she seems healthy, and my sister, Liz, is well, as far as I know.

I know we have no guarantees in life, so I made a decision years ago after I was diagnosed with left heart failure that I was going to live my life to the fullest, for whatever time I had left. It has been twenty years since I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. And I feel fine at this time, I try to eat healthy food (no meat, no sweets, no junk foord.} And so far, I am doing well. I’ve never had a heart attack, and I haven’t had angina pain in years. I believe I will live out whatever years I have left feeling well and making the most of each day of my life. Who could ask for more than that? As the French say, “ vivre la vie pleinement” Live life to the fullest. And that, my friends, is my advice. Live life, be happy.

I will be posting a story from several years ago since I wasn’t able to write a story this week because I got food poison and was sick for the past few days.

Life has a way of teaching people right from wrong and the consequences of choosing wrongdoing. Now, I’ve never described myself as any kind of saint or do-gooder. But, on the other hand, I’ve never intentionally hurt anyone. Although I know I have hurt people. It was not my intention. After all, I had to look out for my own best interest, didn’t I? 

“ I mean, we all have to look out for our best interest, don’t we? Just recently, I was up for a promotion at my workplace. I have been working there for almost five years and haven’t had a raise or a promotion. And to tell you the truth, I know damm well, I deserve it. I worked hours of overtime every week, and many times, I wasn’t even paid for the overtime. I sat by and watched several fellow employees get promoted and paid higher pay even though I’ve worked at this company for several years longer than they have. And to tell you the truth, I’ve had enough; it’s unfair. And I intend to make some changes somewhere, somehow.

Just last week I was about to leave for the day, when my boss, Mr. Conway called me into his office and asked me to close out the customer file I was working on before I left that day, since it was Friday night. I stared blankly at him for a minute or two. And I stammered, ‘but, this is Friday night, I have plans tonight, I promised my wife dinner and a movie. I haven’t been home before nine O’clock for the past month.”

My boss looked at me like I was out of my mind. ” Your wife wants you home early? Well, that’s unfortunate. I suggest you take her out on Saturday night. If you don’t finish this file tonight, we will lose this contract, and then, unfortunately, you will most likely lose your job. It’s your choice.”

I stared at my boss for at least five minutes before I responded. “I just can’t stay late tonight. I will make it up next week. Today is our tenth wedding aniversary. And I can’t disappoint her again; you understand that, don’t you?”

“I understand. I have my own family as well, but my job has to come first, or I won’t be able to take care of my family, and you won’t either if you don’t go back to your desk and finish this tonight.”

I took a deep breath and said,” Finish the file; yes, I understand. I’ll get to it.” I grabbed the file, turned, and returned to my workstation without another word. I felt like my head was going to explode. I could feel my pulse racing, I hoped I didn’t have a stroke or something, then where would my family be. I picked up the phone to let my wife know I wouldn’t be home until late again. I knew she was going to be angry. I was between a rock and a hard place, as my father used to say.

As soon as my wife picked up the phone, she said,” Let me guess, you’ll be late. Do you realize the kids haven’t seen you in almost a week? When are you going to make your family a priority?”

“Helen, you and the kids are my only priority, but how will I pay the mortgage, all the bills, and the tuition for the private schools if I don’t have a job? What can I say?”

“Ok, Ok, I understand, but I don’t like it. But I know you don’t have a choice. Be careful coming home. I’ll explain to the kids why you won’t see them until Saturday.”

“Ok, Helen, let’s make plans to take the kids hiking, to the zoo, or to something fun they like to do. I promise you I’ll make it up to you and them. Maybe your mother can babysit Saturday night, and you and I could go to dinner together? What do you say?”

“That sounds great, Bill. Be careful driving home. I put some dinner in the fridge for you in case I’m in bed when you get home. Drive carefully.”

“I will, Helen; you know you and the kids are my priority, even if it doesn’t seem that way now. I’ll see you later, love you. And then I saw my boss staring at me from across the room. “I thought I clarified that you were to get to work and finish that file. If I can’t depend on you, I will have to start looking for someone who can keep up and make their jog their priority.”

I stared at him momentarily and said,’ You know I have been working overtime for the past several years. I rarely see my kids or my wife. I work more overtime than anyone in this office, including you.’

“Is that right? Well, maybe you should start looking for another position somewhere else. If your family is more important than your job?”

“You’re right. I should start looking for another job, but I’ve been offered several positions in the last several months. And I turned them down because I felt loyalty towards this company. But I can see that doesn’t swing both ways. You always threaten my job if I don’t work twenty-four-seven. I haven’t had a vacation in three years. I hardly ever see my family. Frankly, I’ve had several job offers from our competitors in the past several months. So, let me put this another way: I quit. Good luck replaciing me. I know very few people in this business will work at the company because you have a reputation for treating employees like you own them. So, goodbye, and good luck.”

With that, I walked over to my desk, packed my belongings, and grabbed my keys. And went on my merry way. My “former boss” looked at me with eyes so wide, I thought they might fall out of their sockets.’ And then he said, “ wait, wait don’t decide this without and forethought. You will have a hard time getting a job like this again. I won’t give you any recommendation. You’ll regret it. “

“I feel a weight lifted off my back already, and I won’t regret it.” You will regret it because I’m the only employee with a good relationship with our customers.” None of them ever want to interact with the upper echelon.” With that, I grabbed all my personal property off my desk and out of the desk drawers, turned my back, and walked out of the employee’s exit without looking back. I felt a weight lift off my shoulders and could finally take a deep breath again.

“And that, my friends, was the beginning of my new life. I was offered executive positions with several companies I had dealt with over the past decade, and they all offered me benefits like higher pay, paid vacation time, and no late Friday nights. My wife was overjoyed, and my kids were so happy to be able to spend more time with their “dear dad.” And I was in hog heaven, a job I loved, and I didn’t have to work overtime every night. I had four weeks of vacation each year. And bosses that believed their employees had the right to a personal life with their family. From that day forward, I looked forward to going to work and interacting with people who had respect for their fellow employees. “

Over time, I got to know my fellow workers, and they all told me how much they loved this company and the owners. We were all owners of this company because we could buy stock if we chose to do so. So, don’t let anyone tell you to stick to your job no matter what. There is always another path you can take in your life. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. And by the way, my wife and I are going on a second honeymoon for a week on our anniversary to Bermuda, where we spent our first honeymoon. My kids will be spoiled for a week by their grandparents, who promised to take them to an amusement park. So, whatever you do in life, don’t give up. You can always take another path; don’t let anyone tell you differently.

The longer I live, the more I realize that what you do in life and put out there will return to you in some form. If you are a caring and generous person, you will be on the receiving end of generosity and love. But you must be aware that people will no doubt try to take advantage of your generous heart. If you are a self-absorbed and selfish person who takes advantage of people, that will come back on you. Karma does exist, have no doubt.

This is a lesson I have learned over my lifetime. When I was younger, I was naive and believed all people were decent, kind, and generous. But, over the years, I learned that this isn’t true. Some people are selfish and self-absorbed, and some have a generous and caring nature and will give you the shirt off their back if needed. My mother was the kindest and most caring person I have ever had. She worked hard every day. She was a loving mother who always put her children’s needs before her own. And if need be, she would get a job to help with my family finances. And not once did I ever hear her complain. Not once.

My mother was a role model in other ways. She was a deeply spiritual woman. She attended Mass at the OLPH Church every morning, said the rosary every afternoon, and prayed for all her children and grandchildren. We lived two houses down from the Catholic church. She was a member of the Altar and Rosary Society. She never said an unkind word against anyone.

When I was about to graduate from the eight grade my mother started cleaning at the public school in our town, in addition she began to clean other people’s houses to make money to help pay for our school tuition. Eventually, she got a job when I was about to enter high school, cooking in the employee’s kitchen at Wanamaker’s at the Moorestown Mall in New Jersey. She took the bus back and forth to work. I can’t remember a single complaint ever from my mother. Regardless of the weather. Be it the unbearable heat of the summer, or a snowy day when there was oftern three or feet of snow.

My oldest sister, Jeanie, died from emphysema when she was forty-one.

She worried about each of her children and grandchildren. I believe she worried the most about my oldest sister, Jeanie. Who became ill when she was twenty-eight. She was diagnosed with Alpha One Antitripsin Deficiency, which is a genetic form of emphysema. This disease affects the liver, the heart, and breathing. At that time, there was no cure. However, my sister agreed to try any treatment that the medical professionals believed might extend my sister’s life. And help other people who also developed emphysema.

My mother began to dedicate her prayers to the belief that god would cure my dear sister, Jeanie.

My sister passed away when she was forty-one. I was living in California at the time. When my husband, Bob, was attending college. To say that my mother and my father were devastated would be an understatement of all time. Losing one of your children, no matter what their age, is a devasting loss for any parent.

Jeanie, my oldest sister, was never anything but kind and loving towards me as was her dear husband Patrick Kernan. Pat kept in touch with my family and myself long after my dear sister passed away. Patrick and Jeanie had two children, Jennifer and Patrick Jr. I can not imagine the loss they felt when their dear mother passed away or the suffering they endured during the years when Jeanie was ill.

It was a long time before I could stop crying whenever my dear sister Jeanie’s name was mentioned or she came into my thoughts. Honestly, I don’t know if I’ve ever gotten over the loss of my sister. She was intelligent and funny. I still miss her to this day. I don’t know if there is a heaven, but if there is, I look forward to seeing my dear sister there.

For many years I tried to comprehend why my sister, Jeanie developed emphysema and I could never really understand why she did. I wondered how my sister’s illness and ultimate loss of life affected her two young children, Patrick and Jennifer. I can not imagine that watching their dear mother become increasingly ill as she was with emphysema must have been devastating and unbelievably painful for them. Jeanie’s husband Pat was one of the most caring and loving husbands. He took care of Jeanie to the end. He will always hold a special place in my heart.

Jeanie taught me many things over my lifetime, such as real love and not giving up on somebody when things get really bad. You stand behind them and continue to care for them until the end. That human beings have a strong inner core and withstand and overcome many things without giving in, they lose their loved ones, and keep going one day at a time.

And now, here I am at the ripe old age of seventy-three. I don’t know how much longer I will live, but I know I intend to live every moment to its fullest. And someday, if there is a heaven or an afterlife, I hope to meet my dear mother and father, my sister, Jeanie, my brother, Harry, and his wonderful wife, Maryanne, again.

Life is a gift, and we try to embrace every moment of it. Keep in mind how time passes by quickly, and so do the people we have known and loved all our lives. Keep them in your heart and your thoughts. Don’t forget them.

I will post a story from several years ago on Wednesday; I am taking the week off.

Best Wishes, Susan A. Culver

I will post two of my stories from eight years ago on Wednesday and Friday for those who haven’t read them before.

Best Wishes, Susan Culver

I will be posting a story from several years ago and taking the week off from writing. I hope you will have a great week.

Susan A. Culver

Dear Write On Followers., I will be reposting one of my earlier short stories tomorrow as I’m taking a short break from writing,

I am taking a week off from writing Dear Followers this week. Please feel free to go to WRITE ON website and read any of my nearly three hundred stories and memoirs. Best Wishes and Happy New Year, Susan A. Culver

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I am taking the week off from writing. I will be posting one of my favorite stories from several years ago.

Best Wishes, Susan A. Culver – https://susanaculver.com