In the early 1970s, I made the decision to change my occupation. I had been working for several years as a dental assistant. I had a desire to help people, especially children. I decided to apply for a job at Ancora Mental Hospital in New Jersey. My brother was a psychologist, and he had done an internship at Ancora while he was earning his PhD. And he told me to contact one, Mrs. Coffee, who worked at Ancora. I had never driven to that part of NJ before, and my sense of direction was not helpful since I had no sense of direction. But, somehow, after studying a road map, I made my way there. It is located in Hammonton, NJ, which was about a thirty-minute to one-hour drive, depending on the time of the day and the traffic. 

I had an appointment with Mrs. Coffee. I spoke to her on the phone and sent her my resume, brief as it was. I requested to be placed in the children’s ward after my training. I was notified that I was accepted and told when and where to arrive for my Psychiatric Aide training, which would require several weeks of classes and then passing a test. If I pass, then I will be placed in my permanent position. Which I believed would be with children. One of my classmates excelled in the class and was told soon after the final exam where we would be working. I hope that my fellow classmates will be placed in the same ward as me. Her name was Joan Hall. Unfortunately, that is not how it played out.

I was assigned to the Active Psyche Ward. Joan was placed elsewhere, and we were given different shifts. I would be working the late shift; she would be working during the day. So, there was little chance we would see each other soon. I started working the following week. And honestly, it‘s hard to describe what the active psyche ward was like in the early 1970s. My first day I was told that I was in charge of supervising the woman’s shower.

I was informed where to go and who my supervisor would be. I found my way to the showers, and to say I was shocked is the understatement of all times. I had never been in a woman’s shower before. And I had never seen other naked women before, even when I was attending an all-girl high school I managed to avoid having to shower in the girls shower after gym. The noise level and the out-of-control behavior with grown adults were shocking, to say the least. Some of the patients were severely mentally ill, and they were medicated to the point of acting like zombies.

At one point during the first week, I started working with the patients, I happened to pass by a treatment room. There was a middle-aged woman strapped to the table. She was getting electric shock treatment. There were several “doctors” in the room. They made jokes about how she looked and reacted to the electric shock treatment. I was totally appalled by their lack of humanity and harsh treatment of her. I complained to the doctor in charge. He just stared at me, telling me to return to my work.

After showers, I supervised the patients in the dining area, where they ate all their meals. The noise in the dining room would be difficult to describe. Some patients would quietly eat, while others were screaming and yelling about I don’t know what. I would go from one table to another and tell the patients to quietly go to get their meals and then return to their seats to eat. The quiet part never happened. There was always some kind of out-of-control behavior going on. Or, some of the patients were sedated so heavily that they were like zombies. And rarely showed any emotion.

On some evenings, I was assigned to supervise the patients while they were in the community room. It was such a strange environment, the people who were patients, the doctors, the caretakers. It was not a pleasant place to be. The patients had no say in what they could do. For the most part, they were powerless.

Ultimately, I realized I would never have the opportunity to work with the children who were patients at Ancora, so I gave my notice. I do believe that if I had been given an opportunity to work with the children, I would have been able to make some difference in their lives, be it big or small. But I never had that chance.

I didn’t know that in my not-too-distant future, I would move to another state far from New Jersey and become a counselor working with mildly handicapped children I would love and with whom I could make a big difference in their lives. You never know what barriers you will face in life or what challenges. But, I have learned that you shouldn’t give up and that you have to keep striving to do your best in life, no matter what it is you are doing. Always do your best. You do not know what may or may not happen in your life. But never give up on yourself.

As for myself, I faced many challenges after working at Ancora. I did not allow this one negative experience to stop me from moving forward and upward. I never stopped believing in myself or what I was capable of doing. I didn’t allow anyone’s criticle words affect my self-confidence I knew that I could do anything I set my mind to.

I also realized that every life experience I had taught me a lesson, and it would help me at some point in my future experiences. I never allowed anyone I interacted with to undermine my self-confidence in what I was capable of doing and achieving. As a result, I have led a full and rich life. Because of my choices, I met and interacted with many types of people, some rich, some poor, the highly educated, and those who barely got through elementary school.

I have learned from every experience and everyone I met along the way. Life is a journey, and you never know where and when your journey will take you. I have no regrets about my choices along the way. Keep an open mind, do not be judgmental, be kind, and be generous. Do good in life, and do not judge people that you meet along the way. You do not know what barriers and obstacles they have faced and overcome.

But fear not, I made my opportunities, over the course of my working life I worked with children in California at St. Vincent’s School in Santa Barbara. And I believe this was the opportunity I was looking for all along. The children there were intellectually handicapped to a degree. I was the assistant counselor and worked the three to twelve shift. They were girls between the ages of twelve and seventeen. And I came to love and care for those girls as if they were my own. The years I spent there were a blessing to me. It taught me patience, understanding, and acceptance for all the people I have met along my life’s highway. I certainly benefited from the time I worked with these girls. It was hard to leave them when the time came. My husband was attending Brooks Institute for Photography, and when he graduated, we left so that he would have an opportunity to find a job in photography. But that is a story for another day that would have to be told by my husband, Bob.