I wake up with a faint memory of a dream I had during the night. I close my eyes and try to recapture the dream. In my mind’s eye, I glimpse an image of my father’s rose garden. I can remember how red the roses were and the overpowering fragrance that lived in that garden when the roses were in full bloom.

My father passed away over thirty years ago. Although I don’t think of him every day. I think of him often. Of all the people in my life, as I grew up, he influenced me more than anyone else.

He was a highly intelligent man who had read widely and had a large vocabulary. He held high standards for whatever he did to the point of being a perfectionist. I admit I, too, am a perfectionist and have spent untold hours reading and learning and trying to understand life. He was a man of action. If something needed to be done, no ifs, ands, or buts, he did it.

I’m an introspective person. Over the course of my lifetime, I have examined every inch of my psyche. I believe Socrates stated, “An unexamined life is one not worth living.”

Of course, that doesn’t mean that I don’t make mistakes. I do. But I rarely make the same mistake twice. However, human nature being what it is, there are unlimited mistakes waiting on the sidelines to be made by every one of us each day, myself included.

And this story is about what could have been one of those mistakes. It happened about twelve years ago when I was still in the bloom of my youth. I’m not and have never been a beautiful woman. But even I admit I have certain physical characteristics that attract the opposite sex. I have a ready smile and a friendly countenance. And I have a figure that draws attention wherever I go. Whether I’m looking for attention or not. Of course, that’s neither here nor there. I just thought you should know that I wasn’t always old.

I‘m standing in line at the bank. I’m a graphic artist, and I work from home in my art studio. I also paint surreal paintings. That usually includes birds. But I’ve never tried to sell any of them. I become emotionally attached to them and only sell the prints of my work.

Anyway, I was standing there for quite a while since it was lunchtime, and apparently, a great many people decided that today would be the day to make their deposits and withdrawals. Finally, I‘m next in line when I hear a loud commotion behind me. Someone shouted,” Get down on the floor, everyone.”

I didn’t really pay any attention as I was developing an idea for my next painting. I heard someone say,” you too, honey.” And then I felt someone grab my shoulders roughly. I look up at the teller. I couldn’t help but notice that her eyes were open wide and looked as big as silver dollars, and she was sweating profusely.

The next thing I know, I’m on the floor. “Keep your head down, lady,”
“What the hell is going on?” I shout. If there’s one thing I can’t stand it is being manhandled. Or being told what to do, for that matter. That’s why I am self-employed.

“Get your filthy hands off of me, you neanderthal.”

“One more word out of you, lady, and you won’t have any teeth to chew with tomorrow.”
I decide my best choice at this moment is to sit down, stay down, and contemplate my next step. But I know before this day is done, I‘m going to make this thug regret the day he was born.

I hear another voice yell,” alright, everyone, keep your head down and your mouth shut. Do as your told, and no one will get hurt.”

I look around as surreptitiously as I can so that I won’t garner any attention from any of the robbers. I’m lying on the floor with my head resting on my folded arms. I slowly turn my head from side to side. I move my legs slightly until I can see to the right and the left and ultimately behind me. I can see that there are three robbers. The one who pushed me down, the one who was yelling and ordering everyone to get down, and the one at the door.

They’re all wearing carnival masks. You know, the elaborate ones that people wear in New Orleans during Mardi Gras. The husky guy that pushed me down to the floor was wearing a gold and black mask, not unlike a harlequin mask. It has musical notes on the gold sections, and the guy at the tellers’ counter yelling out the orders is wearing a similar mask, except it is more of a jester with a headpiece with gold bells on it. The robber at the door, who I only caught a glimpse of, is wearing a mask that looks like an ornate Renaissance bird mask.

For the first few minutes, my mind keeps telling me this is some kind of elaborate hoax or even a joke. I mean, it was all so absurd. And you know what else? It’s damn inconvenient. I have work to do at home. I don’t have time for this kind of melodramatic nonsense. I’m hoping any minute, they will all burst out laughing and say,” just kidding, folks, go back to what you were doing.”

I glance up and notice the teller, a middle-aged woman who probably has spent her entire working career depositing checks and handing out small amounts of cash. She looks so terrified that she keeps dropping the stacks of money she’s handing over to the jester. I think she might keel over and die of a heart attack any minute. The Jester screams at her, “move it, lady, or I’ll hit you so hard. Sorry, your mama will feel it.”

That’s when I said, “Hey, leave her alone, you bastard.” And the guy closest to me walks over and kicks me hard in the side. I think for a moment I might pass out. I can’t remember ever being hit so hard in my life.

Except when I was young, my sister and I used to get into these fights that started out by calling each other names and ended up with us pinching, punching, and pulling hair out. The weird thing is I can never remember what we used to fight about all. We were just mad at each other all the time. We never told on each other to our parents because we knew our father would make us sorry if we did.

I just laid there for a while. I don’t really know how long. I kept my eyes tightly shut, trying to pretend this all wasn’t happening. And then I start getting mad. It feels like my blood is actually boiling, and my head might explode all over the room.

I know the smart thing to do is to lie there and wait for them to get the money and leave. I’m wondering if the teller set off the silent alarm. My sister-in-law worked as a teller for years, and she told me that bank employees are always told to cooperate and give up the money. Because money can be replaced, but they can’t. They were advised never to do anything crazy.

Plus, the amount of money kept in the teller’s cash drawer at any one time is limited. The rest of the money and valuables are kept in the vault, and the tellers don’t know the codes to open the safe.

Then the robber yells out, “Ok, everybody on the floor, get up and get in a single file. You’re going to move into that office over there. Don’t try to be a hero unless you want to be a dead hero. Do what you’re told, and this will all be over soon.”

As we all start getting into a line, the husky guy says, “Ok, everyone put your cell phones in this bag, don’t try anything funny. I have a gun, and I ain’t afraid to shoot you. Two of the older ladies standing there start crying, along with a young mother who’s holding a baby in her arms. “Stop that racket, hand over your phones, and walk toward the office on the right. When you get there, lie on the floor with your hands behind your back.”

The young mother with the baby says,” I can’t put my hands behind my back. I have to hold my baby. And she is going to start crying soon. Since it is past her time to be fed, and she needs her diaper changed.”

“Alright, feed the baby, but I don’t want to hear that baby of yours crying, or I’m going to lock her in the safe before we leave. Do you understand?”

The young mother said, “yes.” And then she starts sobbing. I start to see red. No one would look at me and think that I have a temper. I’m also soft-spoken and generous to a fault. But humans are complex creatures full of ambiguity. I can be open and loving in one moment, and in the next, if someone says something to me that is unfair or untruthful, I can go off like a bottle rocket. My anger isn’t long-lasting, but while it’s hot, it’s powerful and out of control.

“What the hell do you think you are doing intimidating a young mother with a baby? You low-life creatine.”

The next thing I know, he’s looming over me like the sword of Damocles, ready to chop my head off. He leans down to smack me, and I grab both his ankles and yank as hard as I can. And he comes down like a tree after a chainsaw hits it. His head hits the floor hard, and he stops moving altogether. His mask flies off. He looks like he is middle-aged. He has pock scars from a really bad case of acne, and he is missing several of his front teeth. I check, and he’s still breathing. His breath smells like something died in there recently.

Everyone in the room gasps. One of the men whispers,”. Have you lost your mind? They are going to come in here and shoot all of us.”

“Did you expect me to stand there and let this pig hit me or worse? Would you let him beat you up without fighting back? Huh? Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

I quickly glance out the office windows and don’t see the other two robbers immediately. And then I see them standing next to the safe with the manager.” No, they’re busy trying to get the safe open. Do any of you men have a belt on? If you do, bring them over here, and we can restrain this guy. Two of the men bring over their belts. The larger of the two men pulls off his belt and pulls the robber’s arms behind his back, and wrap the belts around the robber’s wrists and then around his waist. The other guy puts his belt around the robber’s ankles.

I whisper, “Does anybody have any cloth to shove in the bastard’s mouth?”

The baby’s mother says, “Hey, you can use my baby’s blanket.”
I consider shoving the blanket down the guy’s throat. But at the last moment, reconsider, and I end up just wrapping the baby blanket around his head twice and then tying it in a big knot behind his head. I’m fairly certain he won’t suffocate.

“Ok, we have to shove this guy over next to the wall so if the other two look in here, they won’t notice their buddy is knocked out on the floor right away.”

“And then what are we going to do when the other two wise up and start wondering what happened to this guy here?”

“Well, that’s a good question. I will have to contemplate that for a few moments. But if they do come in here. I will cop to the whole thing and tell them none of you had anything to do with it.”

“Oh yeah, because you look like you could take a fat guy like this down all by yourself.”
A man in a grey suit said, “OK, that’s enough arguing. Let’s figure out what we are going to do. We can’t undo what’s been done already. Any ideas?”

“Do any of you have any weapons or know any martial arts?”

There was a deafening silence. And then I said, “So, we have no weapons, but we do outnumber them. I just counted, and we have seventeen people, and there are only two of them out there. We are also at an advantage because we’re smarter than they are. Let’s face it if they were better at life. They wouldn’t be robbers. They would be bank presidents and lawyers and politicians.”

“We can distract them. We can all start making a ruckus, and when one of them comes in to investigate what’s happening, we take him down the same way. While he is trying to figure out what is going on, we rush him all at once.”

“That sounds like an opportunity to get someone killed if you ask me. Another man said. What’s stopping him from killing one of us?”

“Well, for one thing, we don’t even know that they have guns, do we? In fact, I’m positive they don’t, or they would have shown them right off the bat to intimidate us.”

A young man with pink hair suddenly spoke up,” you know she’s right. They would have shown us at the get-go if they had weapons. Let’s all start yelling and screaming until one or both come in here to investigate and swarm them. Well, maybe not all of us. None of the older people or the lady with the baby.”

And then I said, “I’ll start yelling at the top of my lungs. One of them will come over and tell us to shut up, and we gang up on him and beat him down. Does anyone else have a belt so we can restrain him? And the last guy is going to run because he can’t stop all of us.”

A middle-aged man said, “I think the better course would be to stay in here and be quiet, and eventually, they will get want they want and leave.”

“Oh, yeah? Well, what about this guy here? Won’t they wonder what happened to him?”

“You know it’s weird that one of them hasn’t come over to see what happened to this guy?
“Well, you know there’s no honor among thieves. Come on, let’s start screaming like bloody murder. Most likely, the next guy that comes over here is going to take a look in here before he comes through that door. So, let’s be ready to jump him when he comes in, get him down to the floor, and restrain him. Anybody that has a belt get it out and be ready to hold him down. Then we keep making a racket until the other robber freaks out and takes off. They likely have some money by now, and he’ll take off. On the count of three, everybody starts screaming like we’re being murdered.”

“One, two, three scream.”

And then we all screamed so loud that we all got freaked out and screamed even louder. No one came to the door. I looked out the window, and I couldn’t see the robbers at all. But I did see the police pulling up to the curb. I yelled, “the police are here, the police are here.” And then I started banging on the door. “Let us out. Let us out. We’re in here.”

About a minute later, a cop opened the door. We were still standing there in front of the unconscious robber. He just stared at us for a moment and said, “Is everyone alright? Where is the other robber?”

We stepped aside, and he looked down at the body. “Is he dead? What’s been going on in here?”

“No, he’s unconscious. He kicked me because I told him to stop threatening the young mother with the baby. So, I pulled him down, and we restrained him with belts.”

“That was dangerous. What would you have done if he had a gun?” Said the police officer.

“Well, he didn’t. Did he?”

“You didn’t know that.”

“Well, logic told me they didn’t. Or they would have shown the guns when they walked in and threatened everyone. Plus, there are seventeen of us and only three of them.”

The cop looked at me with a smirk on his face and said, “well, you were all lucky this time. Next time you might not be that lucky.”

“I sure as hell hope we never have to be robbed again to prove your point. Can we get out of here now or what?”

“Yes, you can get out of here, but you’re all going to have to give statements before you leave.”
Everyone in the room moaned at the same time. “Can’t we do this another time?” No, you must do it now before you forget all the details. You can do it here, or you can come downtown to the police precinct and fill out a report there. It’s up to you.”

And that’s when we all started filing one by one out of the office, mumbling and complaining. “A young officer came over and said, “who wants to go first?”

I said, “I do.” One of the middle-aged men said, “well, that figures.”

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