Tag Archives: chapters of my life

Adventure One, Moving to Florida and Onward

     It was 1974, and Bob and I married on July 13th, 1974. I was twenty-three years old and recently moved to Florida to be near Bob. I had never visited Florida before and was thrilled to live in such a beautiful environment. It was so lovely, save for the overwhelming heat and humidity. It’s not that I was never exposed to humid heat; I was born and raised in Southern New Jersey. The winters were bitter and cold. Icicles hung from the roof of our house; you could ice skate on the sidewalks or the church parking lot behind our house in Maple Shade, where I grew up. I lived in it until I was twenty and decided I wanted to be independent from my parents. This is me with my first child , Jeanette

So, I decided to rent a small, one-bedroom apartment in Haddonfield, NJ. Haddonfield is a prestigious and beautiful town. I attended Saint Mary of the Angels Academy high school there. So, I was familiar with the city, and I loved it. My apartment was located two blocks from the public library. And two blocks away from downtown Haddonfield. There was only one other apartment in the building. An older woman lived there alone. I rarely saw her. Beneath the two flats was a knitting shop where the woman who rented the other apartment sold supplies for knitting, I suppose, since I never went into the shop.

One day, the woman who lived in the apartment next to me knocked at my door and told me to be on the lookout for the dentist who practiced next door to our apartment/knitting shop. I thought she was paranoid, but low and behold, she wasn’t paranoid. She told me to keep curtains on all the windows and to lock my car doors.

The next day, I sat at my tiny kitchen window and had a creepy feeling that someone was staring at me. I looked out the kitchen window, and sure enough, the creepy dentist was looking up at my window, where he could see me standing in my pajamas. Since I was from a small town, I had no idea anyone would try to steal a peak of me when I was in my abode. But, sure enough, there he was, big as life. I flashed him the one-finger salute, which I had never done before. He made a weird smile at me. I opened up the window, which was almost impossible since I nearly killed myself, trying to yank the window and yelling, “You are a freak; I’m going to call the Haddonfield police if I see you looking up here again. And I flashed him the one-finger salute again. And that was the last time I saw that freak, my friends.

Around that time, my oldest childhood friend informed me that her cousin Bob would visit her family soon. She asked me if I wanted to come and see him while he was there. I said, “Yes since I always thought he was “cute.” I went to Joan’s parent’s house, and Bob was there. The next thing I knew, Bob and I went to eat with his other cousin and girlfriend. They lived in Philadelphia. We went out a couple more times, and then he had to return to Florida, where his family lived. I wrote him letters for several months, and before I knew it, I was on my way to Florida. My friend Joanie (Bob’s cousin.) told me about an auto-train. I packed all my clothes and sewing machine and headed toward Lorton, Virginia. It was quite an experience since I had never driven farther than Philadelphia. When I arrived at the train station in Lorton, I found a public telephone and called my parents to let them know that I had arrived safely at the auto-train depot and wouldn’t arrive in Florida until early the following day.

And then I would have to follow, Bob. We arrived hours later, and I stayed overnight at his parent’s house. The next day, I went to the apartment that Bob had found for me. It was a small apartment with one bedroom, a small bathroom, a tiny kitchen, and a living room. Only one other tenant and the husband and wife’s apartment owned the building. They were friendly people that I only saw when my rent was due.
Meanwhile, I had to seek out employment. Bob’s cousin Margie recommended an insurance company for high-risk clients and said she would give me a reference. Sure enough, I was once again working in an insurance company. My immediate co-worker was supposed to train me, but she never got around to that. But she was a decent person. She was old, at least that’s what I thought then. Because I was only twenty-two, it was a company called B.D Cole. I worked there for a short time. I had to start looking for another job because they laid off any older or new employees. And that, my friends, was the beginning of a new peas can. So, I began searching for another job. This was when I discovered that companies in Florida at the time would only hire new employees who had lived in Florida for at least three years. So, that was a kettle of fish after looking for employment unsuccessfully. I decided to attend the West Palm Beach Beauty School. And I was accepted. It was a ten-month course. And so, I completed the course. I’m not sure why I wanted to go to a hairdressing Academy. Since I had never previously had any interest in hairstyling,

But, as push came to shove, I applied to the Beauty Academy and was accepted. It was an engaging experience. I met many lovely young people and some middle-aged students. I made a lot of friends. I had difficulty finding a job at a hair salon because of Florida law, which requires you to be a resident for three years to be hired again. This is ridiculous since most of the residents of Florida didn’t originate from Florida but from some other state.

After a month, I found a job opening on Singer Island in Florida at the Collonades Hotel. It was owned by a millionaire named McArthur—a couple named Zimmerman. I did facials. The customers were primarily wealthy visitors from Canada. And some of the wealthy occupants of the Cononades Hotel. They were friendly people. It was a good experience for me, and I made many friends. I was putting Bob through the Brooks Institute for Photography. When He graduated, we decided to move back to New Jersey. So, we began our long trek back to New Jersey and Philadelphia, where we believed there would be more job opportunities. My parents were so happy we were returning since I hadn’t seen them in five years.

Bob and I stayed at my parent’s house, my childhood home, until Bob could find a job. It turned out there weren’t any jobs in photography in the Philadelphia, New Jersey, area. So Bob found employment doing electronics at RCA in Princeton, NJ, which was a relatively long haul from Maple Shade, New Jersey. Nonetheless, he accepted the position and began working. Meanwhile, we stayed at my parent’s house until we decided we had enough money saved to put a downpayment on a small house in Pennsauken, NJ, which was only about a twenty-minute drive from Maple Shade. It was a three-bedroom house with a small kitchen, a dining room, a decent-sized living room, and a basement. We ended up living there for fourteen years. In the meantime, I had two children, three years apart. And I was busy taking care of them. Pennsauken Elementary School was only a ten-minute walk from our house when they were old enough to attend elementary school.

Temple University Philadelphia

Temple University, when I was thirty-six and graduated at 41.

When I was thirty-five, I decided I needed a higher education to make decent money, so I applied at the Hussian School of Art and Temple University in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I had to prepare a portfolio of my work and take an exam to be accepted at any higher education university. I was accepted at both schools. Temple University offered me a scholarship for the first year, so I decided to go there.

And so began my higher education. I was the only student in the first-year class of a non-traditional age; I was thirty-six, and the rest were seventeen or eighteen. I never had any problems with the students because of my age. I made many close friends over the four years that I attended Temple. I won’t lie. It wasn’t easy attending a university and juggling caring for my children, the house, the yard, etc. But I took one day at a time. I didn’t get much sleep since I had to care for my kids, clean the house, pay our bills, and take care of our front and back yard. And believe it or not, I excelled, and four years later, I graduated Suma Cum Laude with a BA with teaching credentials. Overall, it was an excellent experience, but it wasn’t easy. The day I graduated, I received a standing ovation from my fellow students. I won’t lie; I was proud of my accomplishments and looked forward to the next chapter in my life: teaching art.

After graduating from college, the next chapter in my life was finding a position teaching Art. And that was a more significant challenge than going to school. I look forward to the next chapter in my life next week, “what I had to do when I couldn’t find a teaching position in a public or private school in New Jersey or Philadelphia.

YOU NEVER KNOW WHERE LIFE IS GOING TO TAKE YOU

Looking back over my life, I find it difficult to believe that so many years have passed by so quickly. And here I sit, realizing that I have come too close to the end of my years on this planet. For the most part, I have few regrets.

I have led a fascinating life for the most part. I was born into a family of two parents and five siblings. My parents were hard-working people who did everything they could for their children. For over forty years, my father was the head dispatcher for SEPTA Bus Company in Philadelphia. He devised the system that is still used. His nickname was Smiley. It was some joke because my father rarely smiled. There were members of our family who referred to him as “THE BIG BEAR.” Because he was somewhat of a grouch.  House I grew up in.

My brother, Harry, was twenty years older than me. He was married and moved into his apartment when I was pretty young. He was a psychologist, and very well-known in his field, In fact, for many years he was head of the Psychological Society. My sister, Jeanie, was nineteen years older than me. She was one of the kindest people I ever knew. And she was beautiful. I have two sisters, seven and eight years older than I am. They both married when they were young. When I was in grade school, their names were Eileen and Elizabeth. Then, my sister Karen and I came into the picture when my mother was forty-one.

Our first home in Pitman, NJ

We are fraternal twins. This means that although we were born at the same time, we don’t look alike, act alike, and have few things in common other than we have the same birthday. As children we did not play together, we each had our own friends. My mother, Marie, had two babies a year after Karen and I. They were named Steven and Girard; unfortunately, they did not survive. I didn’t learn about their existence until I was about ten or eleven. My father took my twin sister and me to the cemetery and showed us where they were buried. I was young then and don’t think I understood what my parents told us.

Life in the Carberry Family was typical for the most part for families that lived in Maple Shade, New Jersey, where I was raised. We lived two houses down from the Catholic Church, Our Lady of Perpetual Help. We were Catholic, so we attended Sunday Mass when we were young. And then when we were old enough, seven years old.” We were enrolled at Our Lady of Perpetual Help Elementary School for eight long years. I say eight long years because we were taught by Saint Joseph Nuns who were very strict and thought nothing of putting you in the corner, smacking your open palm with a ruler with a metal edge. Or, in my case, putting me in the heater room if I misbehaved. I don’t recall what I was doing wrong, but I spent quite a lot of time in the corner with my back to the rest of the class.

When I graduated from grade school, by the skin of my teeth, we had to take an entrance exam to attend Catholic High School. Parents had to pay tuition for Catholic Schools. There was a public elementary school at the end of our block. But I believed we would benefit from a Catholic School. And so my twin, my two older sisters, and I attended Catholic High School.I graduated by the skin of my teeth in 1969 from Saint Mary of the Angel’s Academy in Haddonfield, NJ. Haddonfield is an upscale town where most of the residents are pretty wealthy. My parents enrolled us there because it was an all-girls school.

high school graduation picture

Susan Culver- high school graduation picture

I can’t say I missed having boys in school with me since I was always quite shy around them. I didn’t go out on a date until I was twenty-one. So, you may wonder what I did do next. You probably think I went to college. No, I did not. My parents told St. Mary of the Angel’s Academy that they could not afford to send us to college. However, the school did find employment for both my sister and I. My twin got a job at a mailing service. She did pretty well there and made good money. I got a job through the school as a dental assistant at a dentist’s office for Dr. Edward Wozniak. He was a decent young dentist with two small children. His office was attached to his home. I worked for him for five years. It was an interesting position, and I was pretty good at it. I trained two people to do the job. When I was twenty-one, I went on a date with my best childhood girlfriend’s boy cousin. And the rest, my friends, was history. Her cousin lived in Florida then and was visiting his cousins in New Jersey and Philadelphia on his way back home to Florida. I had met him when I was pretty young. Anyway, after he (Bob) went back to Florida. We started writing letters to each other. The next thing that happened was that I decided to move to Florida to be with Bob. That is precisely what I did; I was about twenty-two then. My parents were heartbroken when I left since I was their last child living at home. All the other siblings had married, moved to their own homes, and started having children. My parents ended up with seventeen grandchildren. I loved those kids. And I was looking forward to having my children at some point.

After I arrived in Florida, I took an auto-train. This is a means of transportation where your car and the people in another train car are loaded on the train. It took eight hours. When I got to the end of the ride, I waited until Bob got off from his job and met me at the parking lot where the auto-train left me and my car off. It was hot, hot, hot. I had no idea any state could be hotter than New Jersey’s summer. But, boy, boy, were they. It felt like an oven to me. Bob finally arrived, and I followed him behind his car to the apartment he had rented for me. (I paid for it.) It was a lovely one-bedroom apartment with a living room, small kitchen, and small bathroom. It was nice. I had lived in my apartment in Haddonfield, New Jersey, for a year before I moved to Florida. So, to some degree, I was used to living alone. I found a job in the first month I arrived in Florida selling high-risk insurance, I had held a simlar position in New Jersey. And I liked it. The fact is, I enjoyed working in general. I like being busy, accomplishing things and doing it well. I liked earning my own money. It’s a good feeling.

So, what’s next, you might ask. Well, we got married. I decided to look for a different job. Why, you may ask. Because when I came back from our honeymoon and went back to work. I was called into the office and informed that, unfortunately, I was being laid off. Sorry about that. After several weeks of looking for a new job, I decided to go to hairdressing school because employers in Florida were reluctant to hire people from out of state. Yes, hairdressing school. Why? You may ask. You only had to attend for eight months, and you got a license to do hair. Now, I never had any interest in hairdressing. I didn’t do much with my hair. But hairdressing is what I learned to do. And sure enough, I completed the training and got a job doing what? Not hairdressing, I had also been trained in doing facials, nails, and hair. So, I applied for and was hired to do facials at the Collanides Hotel on Singer Island. (where the rich to play) And actually, I was pretty good at facials. I worked there for several years until my now husband, Bob, decided he wanted to attend Brooks Institute in California to learn photography. And that is how I lived in beautiful California for several years until he graduated.
I got a job working at St. Vincent’s School as a counselor. Once again, I had never done this type of job, but I was more than willing to give it the old college try. And as it turned out, I loved this job and all the children. I came to love them like my own children, and I stayed there for several years until Bob graduated from Brooks Institute. After Bob graduated, Bob and I decided to move back to New Jersey. Bob believed there were more photography jobs in Philadelphia than in the South. And so, we were returning to New Jersey and Philadelphia. And thus began another chapter of our life.

Stay tuned for the next chapter of my life next Wednesday.