Life offers each of us many challenges. Sometimes we are faced with several challenges in a single day. We become overwhelmed. And we have no clue on how to begin handling any of it.

Sometimes we find ourselves seeking advice from people we know that are older, wiser, or more experienced in life than we are. It is not unusual for us to ask for advice, but we don’t take it because we don’t like the advice we are given. It’s one of the odd quirks of human nature. And then, of course, occasionally, we are on the receiving end of unsolicited advice.

And having said that, it reminds me of a friend I had many years ago. Her name was Alicia Palmer. We went through elementary and high school together. And we parted ways for four years when we went on to different colleges. Throughout our early childhood and through high school, we were as close as two peas in a pod. We didn’t have any secrets from each other. In the first two years at the university, we kept in touch and then nothing.

And then I found out through the grapevine that Alicia had gotten herself pregnant unintentionally by her college boyfriend Gregory. And she dropped out of college and went home.

When I went home on Spring Break, I decided to see my old friend Alicia. She was back home with her parents. I didn’t call her first because I knew she probably didn’t want me to know about her pregnancy since she didn’t call me in the last couple of months. During the short drive to her house, I decided I would offer her all my love and support and nothing more.

I knocked on her door several times, and no one answered. There were two cars in the driveway, hers and her mother’s. Her parents had divorced while she was in middle school. I don’t think Alicia ever got over it. Her father married a much younger woman, and they now had two young kids. Her father didn’t keep in contact with her. I always felt that something deep down broke in Alicia after her father left. Maybe it would have turned out better if he still maintained his relationship with Alicia.

I kept knocking. I knew eventually one of them would answer the door. They knew from experience that I was relentless. And once I made up my mind about doing something, I never gave up. I began ringing the doorbell and yelling at the top of my voice, “I know your in there. You might as well answer the door because I’m just going to stand here all day knocking and ringing the bell.” I waited, and finally, Alicia came to the door.

“I knew it was you when the knocking went on and on. And then the doorbell started ringing non-stop. Come in already, why don’t you.”

I stepped inside the door, and Alicia closed the door behind me. I held open my arms and said, “come over here and let me hug you. I’ve missed you so much.”

Alicia looked straight into my eyes and then stepped into my open arms. We hugged each other for at least two minutes and then stepped back. We looked at each other, and we both started crying.

“Let’s go sit in my room where we can have some privacy.”

I followed Alicia up the stairs and to the left. I knew Alicia’s house like it was my home. I had probably spent more time here than at home. Alicia closed the bedroom door behind her, and we flopped on her bed just like old times. The bed still wasn’t made. Alicia’s mother was not much of a housekeeper, and neither was Alicia. But it wasn’t always that way. After Alicia’s father left and her parents divorced, her mother had to work two jobs. Sometimes she didn’t get home until late. They often ended up eating take-out pizza.

Alicia didn’t say anything at first. She kept wiping tears off her cheek. I waited quietly. I took her hand in mine. I waited. And then Alicia said, “Kelly, I know you must be mad at me for not keeping in contact. I’m sorry. I was so lonely at college. I had trouble making friends. So, when Gregory came along. I fell for him hard. We spent all our time together. I stop caring about school and all my plans for the future. All I did was think about him all the time. I failed two classes the semester I started dating him.”

And things just went downhill after that. And then the next thing I knew, I got pregnant. Gregory said he wasn’t ready to be a father. He said he still felt like he was a kid himself. I didn’t know what to do. I considered getting an abortion. But I kept putting it off, and then before I knew it was too late. So, I called my mother and told her. And she said, “Alicia come home.” And here I am, twenty years old and six months pregnant. I’m so ashamed and disappointed in myself.”

“Alicia, first, I want to tell you to give yourself a break. We all make mistakes. It’s not the end of the world. And please remember that there are people who love you. I love you like the sister I never had. And your Mom might be upset right now. But things will get better. I’ll be here for you the whole time. I promise.”

“What? You have to go back to school, don’t you?”
“I’m taking the Summer off from school and getting a part-time job. And the rest of the time, I will stick to you like glue. You’ll get sick of me. What do you say?”

“You would do that?”

“Of course, I would. And you know what else? I got a scholarship for the next two years, so I don’t have to pay for the classes. My parents have agreed to pay the rest of my expenses, including my rent for my apartment, off-campus. That’s right off-campus. And you can come live with me. I can help you with the baby. What do you say?”

“I would love it. Maybe I could take a class or two and catch up since I failed my last semester.”

“I think that would be awesome.”

“Kelly, I was so sure you would be mad at me for making so many mistakes. And that you would be disappointed because I got pregnant. And think I was pathetic. I couldn’t face you and admit what a failure I was and how stupid.”

“Alicia, you should know better than that. I’m your friend, and I always will be. We all make mistakes. It’s not my job to judge you or anyone else for the choices they made in their lives. You should see some of the losers I’ve dated.”

“So, Alicia, how did your mother take the news?”

“She’s upset. However, she has tried to hide it. She said she would go along with anything I decided to do. I know she is disappointed about me dropping out of school. She asked me if I wanted to end the pregnancy. I told her I was too far along, and she started crying. Then she hugged me and said, “everything will be OK.”  She contacted my dad, and he said, I want nothing to do with it.”

“He did? Wow, that’s cold. But maybe he’ll change his mind at some point because it will be his grandchild after all?”

“Maybe, but I’m not holding my breath. He hasn’t been much of a father to me. But I guess I’ll wait and see what happens after the baby comes. After the baby came, I never thought I would say that. I never really thought about being a mother before. I have no clue how to be a parent.”

“I don’t think anyone does. I guess you take it one day at a time. And you love the baby no matter what. And I know I will too.”

“Kelly, you’re the best. I was so afraid that you would tell me what to do and what I shouldn’t have done and thought I was stupid and that most of all, you would be disappointed in me.”

“Alicia, do you remember when we were little, and we would pinky swear that we would be friends forever. And that we would always be there for one another. Well, I meant it. Friends Forever. How about we talk to your Mom and tell her what we’re going to do. What do you say?”

“I say, yes, let’s go talk to my Mom. She will be so happy to see you. I should never have doubted you, Kelly. Friends forever.”

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