Tag Archives: growing up

DON’T WAKE UP YOUR FATHER

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     Life can throw you a ball way out in left field. And you may never know what hit you. As for me, life sent me a curve ball right off the bat. My mother was blessed with many children during her life. She was married to the same man for over fifty years. Throughout her marriage, she gave birth to ten children. Six of them survived. When she was forty-one years old, she began to have symptoms of morning sickness. She couldn’t believe she was pregnant again. Every morning, she woke up feeling sick, and sometimes, she felt ill all day and night. She couldn’t believe she was going to have another child.
When she went to the doctor for the blood test, she was informed that she was indeed pregnant again. And the doctor was thrilled to tell her she would have twins again. This time it was a set of twin boys, who were named Stephen and Gerard. After the school that Harry, my father, grew up in. It was the Gerard College. He didn’t get out until he was sixteen years old. His mother was a window and couldn’t stay home to care for Harry. And he only saw her once a year on Christmas until he graduated from Gerard College and got a job.

My Dear Mother

     Marie’s (my mother’s) youngest children at the time were seven and eight. Her twin babies were toddlers, and she had been sure that changing diapers and feeding baby bottles were a thing of the past. All her kids were old enough to attend school or had graduated from high school except the twin girls. Her oldest son was attending a University and hoped to be a psychologist shortly. Her oldest daughter was married recently, had moved out of state, and was starting her own family.

     She thought life was going to get much easier soon. What with all the children being of school age or in college or moved away in the distant future. She hoped none of them would get married shortly because she didn’t want to start caring for grandchildren. She was content with all the children either in school or living independently. She wanted nothing more than to say her rosary, read a book, take a walk, visit her friends and neighbors, and share a cuppa of tea or coffee with one of her church lady friends. She changed her share of diapers and helped the older children with homework.

     Oridnarily her husband, Hugh(Harry) would work the late shift at his job. He worked third shift at the PTC Bus Company in Philadelphia as a dispatcher until he was 62, retirement age.. He had been working there for almost thirty years. He slept during the day, and he worked the night shift. All the children had to keep quiet lest they wake up their father, and nobody wanted that since he was an awful grouch when he was awakened during the day.

     In fact, he was rarely in a good mood. When the kids arrived home from school, they were warned to keep it down. And don’t ever wake up your father, or you will regret it. As a result, the younger kids would get home from school and change their clothes. Then, they would go out to play until dinnertime. By then, their father would have gone to work, and it was safe to turn on the TV. And then Marie would get dinner started.

high school graduation picture

Susan Culver- high school graduation picture

     Marie was a quiet woman and didn’t talk often. But, she was a good listener to all her children. She had a big heart and always had a kind word to say about everyone. She had worked hard all her life and never complained. When her youngest children ( my twin sister and I) were in high school, Marie got a job working in the kitchen at Wanamaker’s restaurant at the Moorestown Mall in New Jersey. She was working because her two youngest daughters( my sister and I ) attended a private, all-girls Catholic High School in Haddonfield, NJ. It was called Saint Mary of the Angel’s Academy. And the tuition was relatively high. Marie never complained, no matter how tired or worn out she was. When she got home from work, after taking the bus from Moorestown, NJ, to home, Marie was exhausted and on her feet all day. She was sixty-two years old.. But, she would have to go home, get dinner ready, and do a load of washing. Yet, she still never complained. Her husband, Harry, was already at his night job and wouldn’t be home until late. He was only home for meals on his days off, except for Sunday morning when he was home. He would help Marie by making the toast. In contrast, she cooked breakfast for everyone and cleaned the kitchen and the old stove.

My father- 1960's

My father.

     Still, I know my parents did their best and loved each of us in their own way. From the outside, my family and my childhood were typical of every other child my age who lived in Maple Shade in the 1950s. My mother stayed at home in our early childhood until we graduated from elementary school and entered high school. My father somehow maintained a life of his own to some degree. In addition to working full-time at SEPTA, the bus company where he worked, he worked part-time at Johnny Marrow auto supply store on his days off. The Morrow lived over the auto-supply store. It was a small apartment. My father was a hard-working man, and I rarely saw him because of his sleeping during the day on account of his working nights. And then, on his days off, he worked a part-time job. In addition, my father played the horses at Cherry Hill race tract, and he played cards for money. He had a life that was somewhat disconnected from his family life. Still, I loved my father more than I could ever express, and I wanted nothing more than to feel that he loved me back. Somehow, I believed he did love me but did not know or have the ability to express his love to me or my fellow siblings in any concrete way.

     The experience that firmly assured me that my father indeed loved me occurred when I was twenty- years old, and I had been working full-time as a dental assistant for three years. I found a one-bedroom apartment in Haddonfield, New Jersey, somewhat coincidentally, as I also attended high school in Haddonfield at St. Mary of the Angel’s Academy. It was a beautiful town where primarily wealthy people lived. While I lived there, I made it a habit to visit the Haddonfield Library, which was within walking distance of my little one-bedroom apartment. In addition, I could walk downtown and visit all the beautiful little shops. I often walked by St. Mary’s, which brought back many memories, mostly good.

     After I moved to my apartment, my father paid me an unexpected visit. Luckily, I was home. He came in and looked all around and said very little to me. I could see he missed me and didn’t understand why I moved away from home. As a parent of grown children, I now understand how he felt. I feel sorrow if I hurt my parents by moving away, but at the time, I thought it was necessary for me to become independent and reliant on myself.

     Not long after, my oldest friend Joan Gioiella contacted me and asked me if I was interested in going out with her boy cousin, and I said yes. He was visiting his extended family in New Jersey, who lived in Philadelphia, Pa. And some that lived in New Jersey. And that my friends were the beginning of a new chapter in my life. I went out with her cousin, and over time, we wrote back and forth with each other for quite a long time. And before you knew it, I had decided that I was going to move to Florida to be near Bob.

Me and my siblings years ago.

     So, I packed up all my belongings that could fit in my almost brand-new 1970s Volkswagon and went on my merry way by car and auto train to West Palm Beach, Florida. Bob had found an apartment for me, and my friends were the beginning of a new chapter in my life. That chapter would take me across the country to California, and that is a whole new chapter. You can only imagine how distraught my parents were when I moved so far away from home.

THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF MY LIFE

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FIRST APARTMENT

First Apartment

I quietly rolled the car down the driveway and into the street before pausing for one last look at my old bedroom window. It was a difficult decision to make. I lived here my entire life. But it’s time. Time for me to finally become independent. But still, it was hard. I love my parents. And I know they love me, but they are so overprotective. They make me feel like I’m incapable of making the smallest of decisions on my own.

They don’t feel like I’m ready to live in the big, bad city. They’re afraid I might get raped, robbed, or murdered. They kept reading me articles from the newspaper reporting the high incidents of drug addicts waiting on every corner of downtown Philadelphia who will rob you.

I assured them that I had been going to Tyler School of Art every day for the past two years and somehow survived without a bodyguard. I’ll be fine. My apartment is only a block away from school, and I can take the bus or the subway all around the city. And all my friends live a bus stop away.

I remind them that I will see them when they come by my apartment in a couple of days because they are coming to Philly to pick up my car and take it back home since it is too expensive to keep a car in the city.

As I pull out into the street, I see my parent’s faces pressed up against the kitchen window and waving frantically at me. I wave back with a big smile on my face. I see my mother wipe a tear from her cheek. That tearing rolling down her face almost makes me change my mind. I’ve never been able to bear seeing my mother cry. But this time, this time is different. I grit my teeth and wave again. And I don’t look back. I head towards the Ben Franklin Bridge and my future as a newly semi-independent adult.

After being stuck in the morning traffic jam for a good half hour, I cross the bridge and head towards my apartment, which is within walking distance of Tyler. It’s an old building, everything around it looks old. There are beautiful sections of Philadelphia, but this isn’t one of them. I manage to get a parking spot across the street from my new apartment, which is a miracle. Apparently, one of the overnight parkers just left as I drove into the lot. I see this as a good sign. Owning a car in the city is expensive. It makes more sense to take public transportation than pay through the nose to park your vehicle overnight. That’s why my car is going to be living at my parent’s house.

I will have to make several trips from my car to my apartment. I have all my clothes, and books, and art materials to bring inside. My parents helped furnish the place with stuff that they bought at yard sales and estate sales. They are good at finding bargains. They even got me dishes and silverware and kitchen stuff. When I arrive at the steps to my apartment, I see what appears to be a homeless guy sitting on the stoop. He moves to one side when he realizes I am going up the steps. I say,” hello. He asks do you have any spare money?” And I say, “Sorry, I’m a student and don’t have any extra money.” I unlock the door and head up the steps. I see a discarded needle on the top step. I’m so glad my parents didn’t come with me today, or they would have dragged me home.

By the time I arrive on the third floor, I’m out of breath. I promise to start exercising as soon as I get settled. I know at twenty years old, I shouldn’t be getting out of breath after only going up two flights of steps.

I have a little trouble unlocking the door as it’s an old building. And probably built at the turn of the century, and the door looks it. I finally jam the key in and manage to turn it. I have to pull the door closed with both hands. I shove all my stuff in with my foot since I had to put it down to unlock the door. The guy in the apartment next to me sticks his head out. His hair hangs down to his waist, and he has a beard almost as long. Oh, my mother is just going to go nuts when she sees him. The whites of his eyes are blood red. He looks like he hasn’t slept in ten years.

“Hey, welcome. My name’s Steven Corson. I work at night and sleep during the day, so I would appreciate it if you kept the noise down.

“Well, I’ll be at school during the day, but I can’t promise there won’t be any noise since my friends from Tyler School of Art will be visiting me because Tyler is right around the corner.”

He nods at me and says, “good luck. I hope you’ll like it here.” And he pulls his head back into his apartment and closes the door, and I hear him slide the deadlock in place. That reminds me that I need to do the same once I get all my stuff up here this morning. I think I’ll get an extra key made so one of my friends can hold it just in case I lock myself out or lose my key. I would get one made for my parents, but I don’t want to come home to find them sitting in my living room.

I made several trips from my car to the apartment, and when I made the final trip, I sat down on my new, old couch and took a deep breath. I say out loud, “this is the first day of the rest of my life.” And I smile. I look around my apartment. My parents came over one day and cleaned it from top to bottom. It will probably be a good month or two before I clean it again. And that’s me being optimistic.

I walk over to the kitchen if you can call it a kitchen. It has one counter with a refrigerator on one side, a hot plate and a toaster oven and a sink, no dishwasher. Oh, and a small cabinet under the counter for cleaning stuff. I look in the cupboards, and I see I have an old set of dishes, six glasses, and five used coffee cups. In the overhead, there’s cereal, dry potatoes, and some canned food. The fridge has milk, juice, butter, bread, cheese, and lunch meat, hot dogs and frozen hamburgers, and fudge bars in the freezer, which is my favorite dessert. I will have to thank my mom. As much as she gets on my nerves, she does more for me than anyone ever has.

I head toward the bathroom. It’s tiny, a standing shower, towel rack, sink, toilet, and a small cabinet under the sink with some cleaning products and paper towels. My mom left two sets of towels and washcloths. I go into the bedroom, and it looks even smaller than when I checked it out the first time because my parents brought my bedroom furniture over. Which include my single bed, dresser and side table, and a lamp. The living room has an old couch and my beanbag from my bedroom and my tv and computer. The closet is the biggest thing in the apartment, and hopefully, I will be able to fit all my art stuff and all my other junk. I will have to start looking for a chair for my bedroom on the street nearby. People in this area move in and out a lot. And often, they leave some of their furniture on the curb. I will have to keep my eyes open on my way to and from Tyler.

I spent the next few hours arranging things to my liking when I noticed that my stomach was growling. I stand next to the open door of the refrigerator to see if there is anything I want to eat. I was about to settle on a hamburger when I heard someone banging on the door, and then the banging got louder. I hear laughing. I two-time it to the door. Because the next thing I know, my neighbor will be complaining about the noise waking him up.

“OK, OK, I’m coming.” I unlock the door and pull it open, and what do you know? It’s three of my friends from Tyler holding a pizza box and a six-pack. “Come on in, but you have to keep it down cause the guy next door works at night, and he’s sleeping.”

They are laughing their heads off. They must have had some beer on the way over. I laugh at them. Then we are all laughing, and then I hear a banging on the wall from my neighbor, who doesn’t appreciate all the hilarity. I put my finger up to my lips. And then they start laughing again. “Come in, come in. Thanks for bringing the pizza. My stomach was growling, and I didn’t feel like eating a hamburger.”

They all start milling around the apartment. “Hey, this is great. We can crash here sometimes when we have a big project to do, and we have to stay up all night and work on it. And then we have to walk around the corner to school.” They all start clapping. The guy next door bangs on the wall again. They laugh. I laugh. The guy next door isn’t going to get any sleep today. Well, he must have been young once.

We decide to watch a movie on my computer. We settle on The Vast Of The Night, which is a scary- sci-fi movie. We start watching the movie and scarfing down the pizza, and guzzling the beer. We scream at all the scary parts and sometimes laugh hysterically. I’m laughing so hard that a piece of pizza shoots out of my mouth all the way across the room. And this brings on another round of hysterical laughter and banging on the wall.

After the movie, we decide to play Fortnite, and this is a game of elimination. The ideal ending is one character is left alive, and everyone else is murdered. We love this game and would play it all night if possible. In the middle of the game, my friend Jamie decides to get some more beer and snack food. When he returns, we start a new round of eating and drinking and laughing our heads off. My neighbor has given up on banging on the wall and has come to the door to complain in person.

He says, “Hey, I can’t get any sleep with all this racket. He looks furious, but when he sees that we are playing Fortnite, he says,’ excellent, can I join in? This is my favorite game.”

“Yeah, sure, and we just got more beer and snacks. Have a seat. “

And that, my friends, was the first night of the best three years of my life. And you only have one life. You should live it to the fullest. Whatever that means to you.”

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THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF MY LIFE

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FIRST APARTMENT

I quietly rolled the car down the driveway and into the street before pausing for one last look at my old bedroom window. It was a difficult decision to make. I lived here my entire life. But it’s time. Time for me to finally become independent. But still, it was hard. I love my parents. And I know they love me, but they are so overprotective. They make me feel like I’m incapable of making the smallest of decisions on my own.

They don’t feel like I’m ready to live in the big, bad city. They’re afraid I might get raped, robbed, or murdered. They kept reading me articles from the newspaper reporting the high incidents of drug addicts waiting on every corner of downtown Philadelphia who will rob you.

I assured them that I had been going to Tyler School of Art every day for the past two years and somehow survived without a bodyguard. I’ll be fine. My apartment is only a block away from school, and I can take the bus or the subway all around the city. And all my friends live a bus stop away.

I remind them that I will see them when they come by my apartment in a couple of days because they are coming to Philly to pick up my car and take it back home since it is too expensive to keep a car in the city.

As I pull out into the street, I see my parent’s faces pressed up against the kitchen window and waving frantically at me. I wave back with a big smile on my face. I see my mother wipe a tear from her cheek. That tearing rolling down her face almost makes me change my mind. I’ve never been able to bear seeing my mother cry. But this time, this time is different. I grit my teeth and wave again. And I don’t look back. I head towards the Ben Franklin Bridge and my future as a newly semi-independent adult.

After being stuck in the morning traffic jam for a good half hour, I cross the bridge and head towards my apartment, which is within walking distance of Tyler. It’s an old building, everything around it looks old. There are beautiful sections of Philadelphia, but this isn’t one of them. I manage to get a parking spot across the street from my new apartment, which is a miracle. Apparently, one of the overnight parkers just left as I drove into the lot. I see this as a good sign. Owning a car in the city is expensive. It makes more sense to take public transportation than pay through the nose to park your vehicle overnight. That’s why my car is going to be living at my parent’s house.

I will have to make several trips from my car to my apartment. I have all my clothes, and books, and art materials to bring inside. My parents helped furnish the place with stuff that they bought at yard sales and estate sales. They are good at finding bargains. They even got me dishes and silverware and kitchen stuff. When I arrive at the steps to my apartment, I see what appears to be a homeless guy sitting on the stoop. He moves to one side when he realizes I am going up the steps. I say,” hello. He asks do you have any spare money?” And I say, “Sorry, I’m a student and don’t have any extra money.” I unlock the door and head up the steps. I see a discarded needle on the top step. I’m so glad my parents didn’t come with me today, or they would have dragged me home.

By the time I arrive on the third floor, I’m out of breath. I promise to start exercising as soon as I get settled. I know at twenty years old, I shouldn’t be getting out of breath after only going up two flights of steps.

I have a little trouble unlocking the door as it’s an old building. And probably built at the turn of the century, and the door looks it. I finally jam the key in and manage to turn it. I have to pull the door closed with both hands. I shove all my stuff in with my foot since I had to put it down to unlock the door. The guy in the apartment next to me sticks his head out. His hair hangs down to his waist, and he has a beard almost as long. Oh, my mother is just going to go nuts when she sees him. The whites of his eyes are blood red. He looks like he hasn’t slept in ten years.

“Hey, welcome. My name’s Steven Corson. I work at night and sleep during the day, so I would appreciate it if you kept the noise down.

“Well, I’ll be at school during the day, but I can’t promise there won’t be any noise since my friends from Tyler School of Art will be visiting me because Tyler is right around the corner.”

He nods at me and says, “good luck. I hope you’ll like it here.” And he pulls his head back into his apartment and closes the door, and I hear him slide the deadlock in place. That reminds me that I need to do the same once I get all my stuff up here this morning. I think I’ll get an extra key made so one of my friends can hold it just in case I lock myself out or lose my key. I would get one made for my parents, but I don’t want to come home to find them sitting in my living room.

I made several trips from my car to the apartment, and when I made the final trip, I sat down on my new, old couch and took a deep breath. I say out loud, “this is the first day of the rest of my life.” And I smile. I look around my apartment. My parents came over one day and cleaned it from top to bottom. It will probably be a good month or two before I clean it again. And that’s me being optimistic.

I walk over to the kitchen if you can call it a kitchen. It has one counter with a refrigerator on one side, a hot plate and a toaster oven and a sink, no dishwasher. Oh, and a small cabinet under the counter for cleaning stuff. I look in the cupboards, and I see I have an old set of dishes, six glasses, and five used coffee cups. In the overhead, there’s cereal, dry potatoes, and some canned food. The fridge has milk, juice, butter, bread, cheese, and lunch meat, hot dogs and frozen hamburgers, and fudge bars in the freezer, which is my favorite dessert. I will have to thank my mom. As much as she gets on my nerves, she does more for me than anyone ever has.

I head toward the bathroom. It’s tiny, a standing shower, towel rack, sink, toilet, and a small cabinet under the sink with some cleaning products and paper towels. My mom left two sets of towels and washcloths. I go into the bedroom, and it looks even smaller than when I checked it out the first time because my parents brought my bedroom furniture over. Which include my single bed, dresser and side table, and a lamp. The living room has an old couch and my beanbag from my bedroom and my tv and computer. The closet is the biggest thing in the apartment, and hopefully, I will be able to fit all my art stuff and all my other junk. I will have to start looking for a chair for my bedroom on the street nearby. People in this area move in and out a lot. And often, they leave some of their furniture on the curb. I will have to keep my eyes open on my way to and from Tyler.

I spent the next few hours arranging things to my liking when I noticed that my stomach was growling. I stand next to the open door of the refrigerator to see if there is anything I want to eat. I was about to settle on a hamburger when I heard someone banging on the door, and then the banging got louder. I hear laughing. I two-time it to the door. Because the next thing I know, my neighbor will be complaining about the noise waking him up.

“OK, OK, I’m coming.” I unlock the door and pull it open, and what do you know? It’s three of my friends from Tyler holding a pizza box and a six-pack. “Come on in, but you have to keep it down cause the guy next door works at night, and he’s sleeping.”

They are laughing their heads off. They must have had some beer on the way over. I laugh at them. Then we are all laughing, and then I hear a banging on the wall from my neighbor, who doesn’t appreciate all the hilarity. I put my finger up to my lips. And then they start laughing again. “Come in, come in. Thanks for bringing the pizza. My stomach was growling, and I didn’t feel like eating a hamburger.”

They all start milling around the apartment. “Hey, this is great. We can crash here sometimes when we have a big project to do, and we have to stay up all night and work on it. And then we have to walk around the corner to school.” They all start clapping. The guy next door bangs on the wall again. They laugh. I laugh. The guy next door isn’t going to get any sleep today. Well, he must have been young once.

We decide to watch a movie on my computer. We settle on The Vast Of The Night, which is a scary- sci-fi movie. We start watching the movie and scarfing down the pizza, and guzzling the beer. We scream at all the scary parts and sometimes laugh hysterically. I’m laughing so hard that a piece of pizza shoots out of my mouth all the way across the room. And this brings on another round of hysterical laughter and banging on the wall.

After the movie, we decide to play Fortnite, and this is a game of elimination. The ideal ending is one character is left alive, and everyone else is murdered. We love this game and would play it all night if possible. In the middle of the game, my friend Jamie decides to get some more beer and snack food. When he returns, we start a new round of eating and drinking and laughing our heads off. My neighbor has given up on banging on the wall and has come to the door to complain in person.

He says, “Hey, I can’t get any sleep with all this racket. He looks furious, but when he sees that we are playing Fortnite, he says,’ excellent, can I join in? This is my favorite game.”

“Yeah, sure, and we just got more beer and snacks. Have a seat. “

And that, my friends, was the first night of the best three years of my life. And you only have one life. You should live it to the fullest. Whatever that means to you.”

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THE GIFT OF TIME

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It’s an unbearably hot and humid day. One of those days when you feel sweat beading on your forehead and dripping down your armpits.  I roll down the front and back windows of my 1970 Volkswagen Beetle. Well, it’s new to me, but it’s four years old. I‘m heading to the Greyhound Bus Terminal in Mt. Laurel, NJ. This is my first trip out of state by myself.

Trip to NYC

Trip to NYC

At first, I considered driving alone to New York City, but I chickened out. At the last moment, I decide to take the Greyhound bus and leave my car at their parking lot. It will take about six and a half hours by bus because of all the stops along the route to pick up passengers.

But I don’t mind. I’m bringing a book with me to occupy my time during the long ride. It’s called Carrie by Stephen King. Right now, he’s one of my favorite authors. And it is scary as hell. Sometimes, I’m afraid to close my eyes at night because this book gives me nightmares. But I can’t stop reading it. Sometimes I read it long into the night well past when I should go to sleep.

Besides, it’s rumored that the new buses have air conditioning. Can you imagine air conditioning? Believe it or not, I’ve never been in an airconditioned bus or car, for that matter.

I see the Greyhound Bus Depot is just ahead on my right, so I hit my turn signal and make the turn into the parking lot. There are about twenty cars parked in the lot. I find a spot at the end of the lot and park my car. I have to admit I’m a little nervous about leaving my car in the lot overnight. This is my first new car, and I love it like it’s my first-born child.

I would be devastated if anything happened to it. I haven’t let anyone else drive it. Or even sit in the driver’s seat. I turn off the engine and head towards the front of the car to get my suitcase. Did you know the trunk is in the front of a Volkswagen Bug?

I found an old overnight bag in the attic of my parent’s house. It’s blue and is covered in faded stickers all over it from whomever it belonged to fifty years ago. I cleaned it inside and out. Nobody is going to see it anyway since they will stow it in the storage area under the bus or on a rack on the bus.

I wasn’t sure what kind of clothes to bring with me. I finally decided to wear a summer top and shorts and bring one sleeveless dress because, as I said, it is hot as hell in New Jersey. And I don’t expect it to be any better in New York State.

I get out of my car and pop the hood and grab my suitcase. And give my car one last look. I consider kissing it goodbye but stop myself at the last minute. Instead, I lean over and whisper I love you; I’ll be back before you know it. I stash my keys in my purse. I open the door to the bus depot and turn and look back at my car one last time. I almost start crying but manage to contain myself. I walk over to the counter and get in line to buy a ticket.

“Can I help you miss?”

“Yes, thanks I would like to buy a two-way ticket to the main Greyhound Bus Depot in New York City, New York, please.”

He hands me the ticket, and I give him the cash. “Go through those double doors when you hear your bus called. The number is on your ticket. You can sit over there in the waiting area.”

“Thank you.”

I head on over to the waiting area. There are about twenty people waiting. Mostly middle age people and a few twenty-somethings, and a mother with two young children. I sit down and wait, shoving my suitcase under my fold-up chair. I look around; it’s not a glamorous place. It’s kind of dirty. It smells like gas fumes. I see a sign for a bathroom and decide to go since I don’t know when the first rest stop will be. I leave my suitcase under my seat. As I’m walking away, an older woman calls out to me.” Miss, miss, you forgot your bag.”

I turn around, and I realize she’s talking to me. I walk back to my seat. She’s sitting behind my chair. “Sorry, I didn’t want someone to steal your bag, dear. You should take it with you.” She looks familiar, somehow. I wonder if she is one of my grandmother’s friends or something.

“Oh, I’m sure it will be alright. I’m just going to go to the bathroom for a couple of minutes. I’ll be right back.”

“Dear, it doesn’t take that long for someone to come along and pick up your bag, and then where will you be?”

I stare at her for a moment and think about what she said. “Oh, your right, of course, I didn’t even think about that. I better take it with me, thanks.” I notice that a man across from me is staring at me. I head over to the ladies’ room.

When I returned to my seat, the woman that talked to me about my bag wasn’t there anymore. I look all around, and I don’t see her. “That’s weird; I wonder where she went?” I say to no one in particular.

I sit down on the metal chair, and it feels kind of sticky. I stand up quickly and move to another seat. I look to my right and left; no one is sitting next to me or behind me. Now, I’m feeling paranoid. I put my bag between my knees. I listen intently to the loudspeaker. I don’t want to miss my bus. Then I realize I don’t know my bus number and look in my purse. I look at my ticket.  I’m supposed to take Bus number 431. It doesn’t leave for another thirty minutes. But I guess they let you start boarding before the departure time.

As I sit there, I listen to the music that’s playing over the loudspeaker. It’s Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon and Garfunkel. I start humming it quietly. I would love to sing it out loud, but experience has taught me not to. Every time I sing out loud, someone always says, “do you mind I’m trying to listen.” So, now the only time I sing is when I’m driving in my car alone. I open up the windows, and I sing as loud as I can. It’s the only time I feel free to be myself. Maybe I’m becoming paranoid.

I start thinking about what it will be like in New York City. Can you believe there are nearly 8,000,000 people living there? The only other big city I’ve ever been to is Philadelphia. I take the public bus there. Some people don’t like cities. But I do, I love the hustle and the bustle, all the different kinds of people who seem to have such important things to do and places to go. There’s a feeling of excitement in the air; it feels almost like electricity. I love the sense of purpose; everyone seems to have.

Philadelphia has live theater and the Art Museum, the Ben Franklin Institute, and the Central Library with its thousands of books. I could spend all day in that library.

Oh, and all the different kinds of restaurants. And, of course, Chinatown it’s the best. I feel like I have been transported to another place, another time. I have walked around there all day. It’s exciting and exotic.

Suddenly I notice the loudspeaker is calling out my bus. “Last call for passengers for bus 431.” I jump up and grab my bag and purse. I practically run through the depot. I scan the room, and I see my bus is two buses down. I run over there as if my life depends upon it. When I get there, I’m out of breath. I run up the steps and trip. I barely catch myself before I land flat on my face. I grab the bar next to the steps.

“Are you alright, dear?”

I look up, and it’s the older woman who told me not to leave my bag. “Yes, thanks. I was daydreaming and almost missed the call for my bus. Thanks.”

I hand my ticket to the bus driver and look around the bus. The only seat left is next to the older woman. “Do you mind if I sit next to you? It doesn’t look like there are any other seats left.”

“Of course not, dear. Sit down. You can stow your bag on the rack or if it’s small enough, under the seat.”

I look at the space under the seat, and it looks like it will fit under there. So, I shove it under and plop down. “Oh, wow, that was close. I will have to pay better attention.”

“You’re doing fine. Is this your first trip on a Greyhound?”

“Yes, it’s my first trip. But I take the PTC bus from my hometown, Maple Shade in New Jersey to Philadelphia all the time. And I take the trolley too, or if it’s nice, I walk all over. I love visiting all the museums.” Oh, do you live near Philadelphia? I hope you don’t think I’m too nosy. It’s just that I have taken this bus many times. And it’s such a long ride. It helps if you pass the time talking to people.”

“No, it’s alright, I don’t mind. I live on the Jersey side of the Delaware River.   I take the bus on my corner. The bus has to go over the Ben Franklin Bridge. I have a fear of bridges. Well, I guess it’s a fear of heights. Anyway, I always close my eyes when the bus gets to the bridge. And then I open my eyes as soon as we get to the other side. The first thing you see as you get off the bridge is the Key and the Kite and the Bolt of electricity Sculpture by Isamu Noguchi. It’s amazing. Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to talk your ears off.”

“Oh, you didn’t talk my ears off at all. That’s such an odd expression, isn’t it?”

“Yes, I guess it is. My mother always says that to me.”

“So, if you don’t mind my asking, why are you going to New York City today?”

“Oh, mainly because I always wanted to go there. I’m going there to see the Metropolitan and MOMA. That’s a nickname for the Modern Art Museum. I don’t know if I’ll have time to see both, though. And I want to eat at a little sidewalk café. And walk down Broadway to see all the marquees in front of the Broadway theaters. I’m going to stay overnight and have dinner at Dorrian’s Red Hand. It’s on 2nd and 84th Street. A friend of mine told me about it. It’s been around for almost fifteen years. And it’s affordable. It serves American food.”

“Oh, you do have a heavy schedule. I don’t know if you’ll have time to do all of that. But it will certainly be an exciting adventure for you.”

“Yes, I’ve been planning this trip for a long time. My parents didn’t want me to go alone. But, I’m over eighteen, and they can’t stop me. My mother looked like she would start crying when I left this morning. I said, “I’ll be fine mom I’ll call you when I get there and when I get to my hotel room. I’ll be home late tomorrow afternoon.?

She was wiping away a tear when I went out the front door. But I didn’t let that stop me. I got in my car and drove to the bus depot. And here I am.

“It’s hard for parents to let go of their children. By the way, my name is Elizabeth. What’s yours?”

“Elizabeth? “That’s my name too. Wow, that’s weird. But all my friends call me Beth.”

“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Beth. That’s what my friends called me when I was young too. But when I graduated from high school, I decided that Elizabeth sounded more worldly and sophisticated than Beth. I had to get up early this morning Beth. I hope you don’t mind it or think it’s rude, but I will take a nap. Could you please wake me up at the first rest stop? I know I’ll have to use the lady’s room by then, and I won’t be able to hold out for two more hours.”

“A nap, oh yeah, sure, I guess when you get old, you need more sleep. Yeah, sure, I’ll wake you up. No problem. I guess I’ll read the book that I brought with me. I’m reading Stephen King’s Carrie. Did you ever read it? It’s so scary I’m afraid to fall asleep at night.” Beth looks over at Elizabeth and realizes that she is already fast asleep. Her mouth is hanging open slightly, and she is snoring quietly.

Beth opens her book to the page where she puts her bookmark. Carrie is getting ready to go to the high school dance. Then she goes down to the living room, and her mother gives her hell for dressing like a whore.

The Greyhound bus air conditioning kicks in, and everyone on the bus sigh of relief because it is getting hot as hell in there. Since the bus was packed to the rafters and there wasn’t a single empty seat. There are a couple of little kids in the middle of the bus who are already bored and getting antsy, and their mother is having trouble getting them to sit still. Beth is deep into her book when she is suddenly startled by the mother of the two little kids yelling out at the top of her lungs,” Hey, you get back in your seat and sit down.”

The bus driver looks in his rearview mirror to see what all the commotion is about, and he sees the two kids running up and down the aisle. He calls out, “Everyone must stay seated at all times. Children must be accompanied by their parents. Have a seat immediately.”

At that moment, the mother grabs her two kids and drags them back to their seats. She gives them both a slight smack on their butts. And this quiets them down for the moment. Everyone on the bus now realizes that it will be a long, long ride to New York City. And they all sigh simultaneously.

Elizabeth wakes up momentarily and looks over at Beth.” What’s happening?”

“Oh, nothing, it’s just that the two little kids on our bus started running up the aisle. And their mother gave them a smack on their bums, and now they’re back in their seats.”

“Oh, alright, then.” And before you knew, Elizabeth was fast asleep again. Beth continues reading her book. And it’s getting to an exciting part where Carrie is chosen as the Prom Queen. And she’s standing on the stage waiting for the crown to be placed on her head. When suddenly, she is doused from above by something red and slimy. And everybody starts laughing at her. And the look on Carries’ face is terrifying.

About two hours later, the Greyhound makes its first rest stop. Beth looks over at Elizabeth and wonders if she should wake her up. She looks so peaceful.

Beth leans over closer to Elizabeth and shakes her a little. No reaction. She says, “Elizabeth, Elizabeth; we’re at the rest stop.” Nothing. So, Beth says, “Elizabeth,” really loud next to her ear. And Elizabeth all but jumps out of her seat. “What, what’s the matter? Where am I?’

“I’m sorry, Elizabeth, but you did insist that I wake you up at the rest stop, and we’re here now. I’m going to go to the ladies’ room, too, just in case.”

“Oh, right, of course. Sorry, sometimes when I wake up suddenly, I get startled. Well, let’s go before the bus driver comes back to the bus.”

“Ok, I hope there’s something to eat in there. I didn’t have any breakfast, and I’m starving,” Beth says.

“You know I’m kind of hungry too, but if we don’t get in there quick, we won’t have enough time to eat.”

The two of them get up from their seats. Elizabeth with a bit more difficulty than Beth. “Do you need some help? Says Beth.

“What? Oh no, I get stiff after I’ve been sitting for a while. Sometimes I have to rock back and forth in my seat to gain enough momentum to get up. You’ll find that out soon enough. Time goes more quickly the older you get. Oh, I don’t know why I’m telling you that. You have your whole life ahead of you. Just keep moving forward. Don’t get stuck, keep moving forward, Beth.”

As they entered the restaurant at their first bus stop, Elizabeth said,” Oh my, this place hasn’t changed a bit in all these years. It almost feels like time hasn’t moved forward at all.”

“What? Have you been here before, Elizabeth?”

For a brief moment, Elizabeth’s face had a look of panic on it. “Been here before? No, no, I just meant these old diners all look alike. You can tell them apart.”

“Oh, I could have sworn that you said you had been here before?”

“Been here, no. Maybe I just got a little confused. All a part of getting old.’
“Beth stares momentarily at Elizabeth and then shrugs her shoulders and walks through the diner door. And a little bell rings out as they walk through the door. As they come in, the bus driver calls out,” Step to it; you only have about ten minutes. You better get take out and use the lady’s room too. There isn’t another rest stop for three hours.”

Both Elizabeth and Beth look at him and then at each other. They walk up to the long counter and pick up a menu. And quickly scan it from front to back. At the same time, they both say, “Cheeseburger and fries and coke to go, please.”

Then they look at each other and laugh. Beth says,” that’s weird. I never figured you for a cheeseburger and fries and coke kind of girl.”

“What? Oh, when I take bus trips, I live on junk food. When I’m home, I only eat low-fat, no sugar, no salt, no dessert. Oh, that reminds me, and she yells out, “Can I get a slice of peach pie with that?”

“Peach pie, that’s my favorite too.”

“OK, people, it’s time to return to the bus. I will give you a one-minute warning when I’m about to leave. You have two minutes.” The bus driver heads outside to start up the bus.

Beth and Elizabeth say simultaneously, “I have to go to the bathroom.” And they rush in there. As Elizabeth is coming out of the ladies’ room, she sees Beth going out the door and walking towards the bus. As she steps outside, she hears Beth saying, “Wait, wait, here comes Elizabeth now.”

“Thanks, Beth. As you get older, things take longer.” Then the two of them go on the bus and take their seats. “You know I think I’m going to take a little nap. Eating lunch always make me sleepy for some reason.”

“OK, I’m going to continue reading my book. I hope I don’t get sick from eating so much and then riding on this bus. It used to make me nauseous when I was a kid when I ate breakfast and then take a bus to school. We lived out in the sticks.”

“Oh no, just don’t think about it, and I’m sure you will be fine, Beth.”

About two hours later, Elizabeth wakes up to find Beth sitting next to her with all the money from her wallet spread out over her lap. She leaned over to Beth’s ear and said, “Beth, it’s not a good idea to let anyone see your money. You’re just asking for trouble.”

“What, what are you talking about no one here is going to steal my money. Why would they?”

Elizabeth looked long and hard at Elizabeth and said, “Beth, I understand that you are young. But you’re not so young that you think everyone is the same as you or has money and wouldn’t steal, are you? Surely, you are aware of that? Do you know any of the other people on the bus?

“No, I don’t know anyone except you, and I only met you today. And your nice and your kind.”

“But you don’t know anyone else here, do you?”

“No.”

“Sometimes, desperate people do desperate things, like stealing. Some people are not kind. Some people are thieves. If they see a vulnerable person, they will try to take advantage of them. And that includes stealing money if they have an opportunity to do so. I’m sorry to have to tell you this. But unfortunately, not all people are worthy of your trust. You have to be aware of the people around you and keep your eyes open at all times.”

Beth looks at Elizabeth, and her lip begins to tremble, and a tear springs from her eye and runs down her cheek. She wipes it away. “I guess your right. My mother said she didn’t think I was mature enough to take a trip to New York City by myself. She thinks I’m naïve and too trusting. I guess she’s right. Thanks for telling me that. I don’t know what I would have done if someone had stolen all my money. I’m so lucky to have met you today.”

“Well, I believe that sometimes we come into each other’s people’s lives at the right time and place for a reason. I have a feeling that I was meant to meet you today. Maybe sometime later in your life, we will meet again.  I believe there is such a thing as kismet.”

As the bus pulls into Greyhound Bus, Depot, Beth looks up from her book, and Elizabeth isn’t there. She looks all around the bus, and people are beginning to gather up their belongings. The bus pulls into the depot and parks, and the bus driver says,” It’s time to debark the bus, everyone. Can the people in the front aisles stand up to ensure you do not leave any of your belongings behind?”

Beth looks across the aisle at a middle-aged woman and asks, “Excuse me, did you notice the older woman that was sitting next to me? Did you see when she got off?”

“Older woman? I’m sorry, I don’t remember any older-looking woman sitting next to you. You were sitting there alone the whole time, as far as I know. Sorry, I can’t help you.”

Everyone began standing and filing out of the bus one at a time. Beth keeps looking around, and Elizabeth isn’t in sight. She asks the bus driver, “Did the older woman that was sitting next to me get off the bus already? Or did you let her off the bus before now?”

“I don’t recall an older woman sitting beside you, miss. Please watch your step getting off the bus.  Beth is flabbergasted.        I have no clue what’s going on. Where is Elizabeth? She couldn’t have just disappeared in the blink of an eye, could she?

As Beth exits the bus, she scans the bus depot. Then decides to check out the lady’s room. She walks across the depot towards the bathroom. As she pushes the door open, she sees the only people in there is the mother and the two kids from the bus. She says, “Excuse me, I was on the bus with you. Did you notice the older woman that was sitting next to me the whole time? I can’t seem to find her.”

“Older woman, no, I don’t remember anyone sitting beside you on the bus, sorry. I have to go. Someone is picking me up outside the depot, and I don’t want to miss them. Have a great day. Bye.”

Beth can not comprehend what’s happening. Could she have imagined the whole thing? No, Elizabeth was as real as anyone on the bus, but where did she go? What happened to her? Then she remembers that Elizabeth said that they would meet again someday. Beth knows that she will see Elizabeth again. She will never forget her kind face and caring heart. Beth walks over to the sink and looks in the mirror, and washes her face and hands. And when she looks up for a moment, she sees Elizabeth’s reflection. But when she turned around, no one was there.

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My First Job

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The year is 1969. The most significant year in my life. The year I graduate from high school. This is the twelfth year that I have attended Catholic Schools. In the first eight years, I attended Our Lady of Perpetual Help Grade School, and now I’m graduating from St. Mary of the Angels Academy in Haddonfield, NJ. It’s a private all-girls school.

St. Mary of the Angels Academy Graduation 1969

Graduation photo by Hugh Carberry

St. Mary’s is a college prep high school. I took four years of Math, History, English, Religion, and four years of Latin and French. I have to say the most useful skill I learned in high school was typing and English grammar. I can still read French quite well and Latin, not so much. But I did learn self-discipline. I learn to keep my mouth shut around the nuns.

These are changing times, turbulent times. The world is changing. The United States has become involved in the Viet Nam War. A war that ultimately will take the lives of 54,000 young men of my generation.

But I, for the most part, remain blissfully unaware of what is going on in the world. The only news I hear if I bother to listen at all is the 6 o’clock news with Walter Cronkite. The NJ Bulletin is delivered to our house like clockwork every day. But I only read the comics on Sunday morning. Girls are not subjected to the draft as young men are of my generation are.

In the last half of my senior year Sister Eileen Marie the principal at St. Mary’s called me into her office. A terrifying experience for me. And one I had avoided for four years. “Susan it has come to my attention that you have enough credits to graduate. I have been informed that you won’t be going to college as some of our students are going to do. Therefore, I have arranged for you to be interviewed for a job at a dentist’s office as an assistant. I’ve spoken to your parents about it. And they are agreed that this will be an excellent opportunity for you.”

I find Sister Eileen Marie to be quite intimidating. She is an old school nun in that many of the younger nuns are taking off their veils and shortening their skirts. She never smiles and has a stern and off-putting demeanor. This is all news to me since no one discussed my future with me.  Not by my parents and not by any of the other dear sisters.

My main goal in high school is to graduate, I naively haven’t considered for a moment what I would do after I graduate. I stare at Sister Eileen momentarily and then mumble, “Yes, Sister.”

“Miss Carberry, here is the address to the dentist’s office. It’s in Oaklyn. A town not too far from here. You can take the bus from Kings Highway in Haddonfield to Haddon Avenue in Heather Rd. in Oaklyn. If all goes well, you’ll be working there in the afternoons until you graduate and then start working full-time afterward. The dentist’s name is Dr. Wozniak. You will have an interview tomorrow afternoon. Here’s the information you need.”

“Yes, Sister.” As I walk out of the office. I begin to tremble. I can’t fathom what has just happened so unexpectantly to me. I gulp and stuff the paper in my pocket. I try not to think about it for the rest of the day. When I get home that day, I mention what Sister had said to me in her office today. “Mom, Sister Eileen Marie told me I have a job interview tomorrow at a dentist’s office as an assistant.”

“Yes, that’s right, Susie, you’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it. You can take the bus.”

I look at my mother, and I’m shocked. She knew all about it and didn’t tell me.” But Mom, I don’t want to go to work in a dentist’s office. I hate the dentist.”

“Don’t be silly, you’ll be fine. I’ll give you the bus money, and you can come home by bus too.”

“What I have to go by bus by myself?”

“Of course, you’re a big girl now, everything will be fine, you’ll see.”

I stare at my mother. Dumbfounded. I repeat,” Everything will be fine.” I feel a tear run down my cheek. I go to my room, and at dinner time when my mother calls me, I yell,” I’m not hungry.” I didn’t come down for the rest of the evening. I have trouble sleeping that night. In the morning, I get up and put on my navy blue uniform and knee-high navy blue socks and shoes and take the bus to school. I have to take the bus from Main Street in Maple Shade to Federal Street in Camden to Haddon Avenue and Kings Highway and then walk about a quarter of a mile to St. Mary of the Angels Academy.

That afternoon after lunch, I walk up to the bus stop on Haddon Avenue and Kings Highway and catch the bus to Kings Highway and then walk from the White Horse Pike to Heather Rd. It turns out to be a fairly long walk. I was a little sweaty by the time I arrive. I walk up to the door that says Dr. Wozniak DDS and knocks. The office is attached to their house where I presume they live.

My mouth is dry as sandpaper. I’m terrified. I’m not sure what I think is going to happen, but I feel unprepared. I’ve only been to the dentist myself for emergencies. I don’t know anything about working there. The only job I’ve ever done is babysitting my nieces and nephews since I was about eleven or twelve.

A young woman with short, blond hair answers the door. I look at her and I don’t know what to say. She says to me, “Susan?”

“Yes, I’m Susan Carberry, is Dr. Wozniak here, I have an appointment for a job interview as a dental assistant.”

“Yes, I know I’m Dr. Wozniak’s wife, Connie. I’m going to interviewing you. Come in.”

She opens the door wide to a small room with chairs and a coffee table. And at the end of the room is a window with doors on it. She looks at me and says, “Come into the office. We’ll talk in there.”

l glance at her. I don’t know where it is. But there’s only one door in the room beside the outside door.  So I walk up to and pull open the door to another small room with a desk, chair, and a filing cabinet. There are two doors in this room and an open doorway on the right.

“You can sit down at the desk, here is an application for you to fill out. There’s a pen there in that cup. I’ll come back in a few minutes and check on you and show you around.”

“Alright.” I sit down and look at the job application. I never filled one out before. I don’t have any experience. There isn’t much information for me to fill in. I write down my name and address and our phone number. I write in I attend St. Mary of the Angels Academy in Haddonfield. And I write in my graduation date. And the times I will be able to work here if they hire me until my graduation. I write down my parent’s names as people to contact in case of an emergency. I’m briefly concerned about what type of emergency might happen to me in a dentist’s office. I wonder, will someone bite me? And then I let out a chuckle. The next thing I hear is, “Are you finished, Susan?”

“Yes, I think so.”

She smiles at me and picks up my application, and reads it over in about a minute or two. She asks me, “So, why do you want to work here, Susan?”

I look at her somewhat panicked, I don’t really know how to answer. “Well, I’m graduating in June. And I’m not going to be going to college because my father says that women don’t need to go to college. Because they’re just going to get married and have children. So, it’s just a waste of money. As far as he’s concerned. And then Sister Eileen Marie the principal at St. Mary of the Angels Academy, called me into the office and told me this is what I’m going to do, and, so did my parents. So, here I am.”

Mrs. Wozniak smiles at me. Well, Susan, I think you will do just fine here. You probably don’t know this, but I went to St. Mary of the Angels Academy too. I remember Sister Eileen Marie very well. She made quite an impression on me. I was terrified of her when I was going to school there. But as I grew up, I realized she was trying to help me. And she had faith that I was going to do well in life. And she must feel the same about you because you were the first person she thought of for this job.

“Really?”

“Yes, really. When can you start?”

“When do you want me to start?”

“How about this Monday, you will have to buy a couple of white uniforms and white shoes and wear stockings. Dr. Wozniak will be training you. Let me show you the other rooms and explain some of the things you will be doing.”

“Alright, thanks.”

“So, the room straight ahead of you is the darkroom. It’s small but there is room for everything you need to do in there. You will assist  Dr. Wozniak in taking the x-rays. And then you will come into the darkroom and develop them. Mrs. Wozniak shows me a room and turns a small light on in there. There is a double sink in there and a faucet. And above the sinks is a wire with dental x-rays hanging from it. “This is where you will be developing and drying x-rays. Don’t worry it’s easy. Doctor will teach you.

In the next room is small. There are dentures on the counters. I recognize them because both of my parents wear dentures. ”This is where Dr. Wozniak adjusts dentures or repairs them. They are made in a dental lab and then sent here. Dr. Wozniak makes molds of patients’ mouths and then sends the molds to the lab to create the dentures. Sometimes the dentures don’t fit the patients’ mouths perfectly, and he has to alter them slightly.”

The next two rooms are where the doctor does the dental work fillings and extractions and takes the X-rays. You will be assisting him. He will teach you all about the dental tools and which ones to put out for each procedure. And that machine over there is an autoclave you will put the instruments in there to sterilize them.’

“You will be standing in the operating rooms with him and assist him by handing him the appropriate dental tools. And then cleaning the room after each patient and setting new tools out for the next patient. And bringing them into the room when it is there appointment time.”

I stare at her with my mouth open. I feel overwhelmed by everything she told me.

“Don’t worry; you’ll learn everything a little at a time. Dr. will teach you. He knows you don’t have any experience. But I have no doubt that you will do just fine.”

“You do. I hope so. It sounds like a lot to learn.”

“It seems like that at first, but in a couple of weeks, you will be an old hand in it. And if you have any problems, you can talk to me or the Doctor and we’ll help you.”

“So, does that mean I have the job?’

“But, of course it does. Susan. I know you will do a great job. So, I expect I’ll see you next Monday at one ‘clock wearing uniform and white shoes and stockings. Here is my phone number if you have any questions.”

She starts walking me towards the door. I open the door, and she says,” Susan, it was a pleasure to meet you. See you next Monday. I step out the door, and she closes it behind me. I stand outside the door momentarily. I realize that I have taken the first step in what will be the rest of my life. I smile and start walking down the street to the bus stop.