Do you know that tradition some folks have at the beginning of a new year? They make a long list of New Year’s resolutions. The first one is usually something like I’m going to lose that extra weight I’ve been carrying for the past five years. I’m going to start eating healthy foods. I’m going to exercise. I’ll join a gym.

And then you realize you are two months into the new year, and you didn’t stick to your diet or exercise. You did join the gym but you only went there for four days and you remembered how much you hate exercising. And how much you hate the horrific noise of grunting and groaning that those crazy muscle-bound freaks do.

In fact, you have gained four pounds because you ate that whole box of chocolates that your Aunt Betty sent you for Christmas. Because she remembers how much you loved chocolate when you were a kid.

And last year was possibly the worst year of my life. But let’s face it how can I be optimistic when I lost my job, my dearest friend in the world passed away and I only have a hundred dollars left in my savings account?

I start the day by saying positive affirmations to myself. “ I believe in my dreams and myself. I love myself for who I am. I’m in charge of my own destiny, and the best is yet to be. And finally, I’m grateful for every day.“

On day twenty-nine of the new year, I decided that I was going to walk to the park and then hike through the woods adjacent to the park. I used to love hiking in the woods when I was a kid.

And it was a beautiful day outside although a bit chilly. When I was about halfway through the park, I noticed that there was a dog walking towards me. And he‘s all alone. I said out loud, “That’s weird“. He must have gotten out of his yard or something. I thought he would run away when I got closer to him, but he didn’t. He walked right up to me and started whining.

He had a collar on. I haven’t had a dog since I was a kid. But he was so friendly that I couldn’t help reaching down and petting him. I looked at the tag on his collar, and it had a phone number on it. And it said, please call this number if you find me. And it said his name was Max.

Luckily, I had brought my cell phone with me. But when I called the phone kept ringing and ringing. Then an answering machine picked up, and it said, “Hi, this is Miriam. I’m not home right now, but please leave a message, and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.”

So, I googled her name and her phone number. And voila, through the magic of the internet, I found her address. And it was only two blocks away. So, I said to the still whining dog, “Come on Max, let’s get you home.“

We arrived at the address in a few moments, but there wasn’t any car in the driveway. But I thought, might as well knock at the door I’m here now. I looked in the window next to the front door, and I didn’t see any sign of life. But hey, they could be upstairs or in the backyard. I banged at the door a few times.

Nothing, so then I called the phone number again, and it just rang and rang. I decided to go out to my car and write a note with my contact information and name so she could call me. When I got back to the door, I crammed the note in the crack between the door and the side of the doorway.

I got into my car and headed home. I kept talking quietly to Max since he had definitely shown signs of recognizing his house, but I couldn’t just leave him there he would just run off again. I decided to call the owner later. When I arrived home, I grabbed Max by his collar and coaxed him out of the car and up to my side door.

I wished I could tie him up out back, but I didn’t want him to break loose and then he would run off into an unfamiliar neighborhood. I had to push him into the kitchen. I closed the door behind me and looked for a bowl to put water in for him. Max lapped it up like he hadn’t drunk anything in a week.

I looked in my fridge, found some lunch meat, and gave it to Max. He swallowed it so fast I thought he might eat my hand next. He walked around downstairs, and when he found the little Persian rug next to the fireplace in the living room, he lay down and immediately fell into a deep sleep. Poor thing. He must be so tired. I felt kind of worn out, too. I decided to take a short nap before I had to start thinking about what to cook for dinner. As I sat down in my easy chair in my bedroom and put my lap blanket across my knees, I dozed off.

I woke up with a start. Something woke me up, but I didn’t know what exactly. Some people feel refreshed after a nap. But I don’t. I feel like I got hit by a Mack truck. My head was pounding, and my eyes felt rusty. At first, I couldn’t remember what I was doing sleeping in the middle of the day. And then I remembered finding the dog. And I yelled, “DOG, DOG.”

But of course, he didn’t answer me, because he was downstairs. I dragged myself out of my easy chair. I walked into my bathroom and threw some cold water on my face. It didn’t help. I dried my face off and went downstairs to check on the dog. When I passed my cell phone in the living room, I didn’t see any missed calls. Oh dear, I thought. What now?

I was about halfway down the steps when I realized I didn’t see the dog. But what shocked me to my core was the fact that my pristine living room looked like a hurricane blew through it. All my couch cushions were randomly tossed in every direction. There was a pile of dog poop in the middle of my expensive new carpet. The curtains were lying in a heap on the floor in the living room and the dining room.

I yelled, “Good lord,” at the top of my lungs. And then I realized with a start that the dog wasn’t in sight. I said out loud, “Where the hell is he?” Nobody answered, so I decided I’d better take a look around the rest of my house. The dining room was a shamble. The chairs were all knocked over. The Japanese flower arrangement I created just last week was no more. It was chewed up and thrown from here to yonder. I started crying. I was so proud of the flower arrangement. It was the best one I had created since I took the class in flower arranging in the adult night classes a few months ago.

I walk slowly towards my kitchen. I was terrified at what I might find there. And then I heard barking coming from the direction of my kitchen. When I walked through the doorway, I looked in every direction. But I didn’t see him. Until I looked up from the floor, and there he was, walking across my marble-topped kitchen counters. He saw me and leaped from the top of the countertop to my shoulders. He hit me with such force that I thought he might have broken my neck. But instead, he just knocked the wind out of me, and I landed on my back on the hard tile floor. He then licked my face from top to bottom. And his breath smelled like death itself. My eyes started to water.

And that is when I heard the kitchen phone ringing. I managed to push Max’s immense weight off me, jumped up, and grabbed the phone. “Hello, hello,” I said, breathlessly.

“Hello, I think you are the woman who found my Max and left me a message on my phone.”

“Yes, yes, I am. Please come and get him. He has all but destroyed my home in only a couple of hours. You have to take him home now. My address is 38 South Popular Street—the second house from the corner. Please come now. I’ll be waiting on the porch with your dog, Max.”

She arrived in about fifteen minutes. And Max and I were sitting on the porch. He was sitting across my lap, and I could hardly move or breathe. Nor could I budge him. He was an immovable force. And I felt like I had aged a year in one day.

A pleasant-looking woman with a short bobbed hairstyle and a big smile on her face said, “Hello, I can’t thank you enough for finding Max and calling me. I have missed him more than I can tell you. He is like my child. I felt so lost without him.” She called him over to her. And he launched himself off me with such force that I could hardly move.

“Oh, Max, I missed you so much.” Then she hugged him and kissed him on his wet nose. “Thank you again. There aren’t words enough to tell you how much I appreciate you bringing Max back to me.”

I smiled and said, “Goodbye.”

She looked at Max, then at me, and said, “Happy New Year to you.”

“I smiled again and said, ‘Yeah, right, Happy New Year. It began with a bang, didn’t it?”

And she turned, and Max walked out of my life, but it would be a long, long time before

I forgot this New Year’s Day, which began with the biggest bang ever.

 

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