Tag Archives: pregnancy

MOTHERHOOD IS BOTH THE GREATEST THING AND THE HARDEST THING

1 Reply

Once upon a time, not so very long ago, a child was born. Her parents had hoped and dreamed for a child. But, as the years went by, they began to lose hope. And then, out of the blue, after many years of trying to have a child, their prayers were answered.

The mother, whose name was Sandra, woke up one morning feeling sick to her stomach. Nausea continued for many weeks. She finally decided she should go to the doctor and find out what was wrong with her. It did not occur to her that she might be pregnant. Since she had given up, all hope long ago. She felt weak and tired, and depressed. The nurse took her temperature, weighed her, and asked if she had any other symptoms.

Sandra said,” Not really. I don’t know what is wrong with me. Can you help me, please?”

“Well, there is one more test I can do, and we will be able to get the results soon after. Please go into the ladies’ room and urinate on this stick and then bring it right back to me.

Sandra did as she was told and returned to the exam room with the stick in hand. The nurse walked in and took the stick, and said,” I’ll be back in a few minutes. Please sit down and take deep breaths and try to calm down. I think you will be feeling much better soon. “

Sandra laid back on the exam table and quickly fell into a deep sleep. She was so exhausted from not sleeping well for weeks. The nurse poked her head in the door and saw Sandra sleeping. She decided to let her sleep since the doctor was on his lunch break and wouldn’t be back for an hour.

About forty-five minutes passed by, and the nurse decided to check on Sandra and make sure all was well. She brought the test results into the exam room where Sandra was quietly sleeping and said, “Sandra, wake up Sandra, I have very good news for you.”

“ Sandra slowly opened her eyes. She didn’t remember where she was right away. She looked around and remembered she was at the doctor’s office. “You do. Am I going to be alright?”
“Yes, Sandra, you are going to be more than alright. In fact, I have great news you are going to have a baby. You are six weeks along. What do you think about that?”

Sandra was so shocked by what the nurse said that she responded,” Is this some sick joke or something? It’s not funny.”

“No, of course not. You are going to be a mother in about seven and a half months.”

Sandra was so happy that she started crying tears of happiness. The nurse came over and said, alright, try to calm down. I have some prescriptions for neonatal vitamins. Please try to take care of yourself and eat healthy foods, but don’t overeat. And you don’t want to gain too much weight. The doctor will be in to see you in a few minutes to talk to you. Then you will need to make an appointment to come back in six weeks. We want a healthy mom and baby.

After the nurse walked out of the room, Sandra couldn’t stop smiling. She had so longed for this day to happen and had all but given up on her long-awaited dream of becoming a mother. She had always loved children. She started babysitting when she was ten, and as an adult, she worked in schools as a teacher’s aide. Her face was starting to hurt from the broad smile on her face. Just then, the doctor came into her room and said, “It seems like congratulations are in order, Sandra. This must be a happy day for you.”

“Yes, yes, it is. I can hardly believe it. I can’t wait until this baby arrives. It seems like I have been waiting for a long, long time for this to happen.”

“Sandra, I want you to follow the letter and the diet the nurse gave you and take those prenatal vitamins every day. We want both you and the baby to thrive. I’ll see you in six weeks if you have any problems before then, please call the office immediately. I look forward to seeing you soon. Please take care.”

Over the next six weeks, Sandra found that her appetite increased quickly. Sometimes she woke up in the middle of the night, and her stomach was growling. When she returned to the doctor for her six-week check-up, she was astounded to find she had gained twelve pounds. The doctor was not pleased.

“Sandra, how are you feeling? Have you been experiencing nausea, vomiting, or any other symptoms you might want to share with me or concerns you may have?”

“Well, my stomach growls all day and night. It is really uncomfortable. I am always starving. Sometimes I get up in the middle of the night and eat something. I can’t help it. The hunger wakes me up.”

“Have you tried drinking water before you go to bed”

“Yes, but then I must go to the bathroom all night. I promise I’ll do better and try and keep my weight down. I’ll see you in six weeks, doctor.”

The time flew by, and before she knew it was only two weeks before Sandra’s due date. It was difficult to sleep at night since her baby seemed so restless and tossed and turned all night while Sandra was trying to get sleep. And the baby didn’t calm down during the day; she could feel her baby pushing his legs against her ribs.

Sandra couldn’t wait for her baby to be born, and before she knew it, the nine months had slipped by. And one day, her contractions started, and Sandra called her husband at work and told him it was time. After they arrived at the hospital, Sandra was taken into the delivery room. There was a television on in the room, and the doctor watched the show up until she was ready to give birth.

The baby arrived, and Sandra was handed her baby to hold for a few minutes. Until she was taken to the neonatal room. After the obstetrician spoke to her husband for a while, he said he would return later to check on her. And Sandra tried to get some sleep but was suffering from afterpains from her uterus contractions.

A couple of hours later, a nurse came into the recovery room and said we are moving you into your room now. So you can spend some time nursing your baby and holding her. Right now, she is making so much noise that she is disturbing all the other babies. Then a second nurse came in holding Sandra’s newborn, and she was screaming at the top of her lungs. Her face was red as a beet. Sandra looked at the baby and then at the nurse and said, “Oh my,  she is really making a ruckus. Let me see if I can calm her down.

So, Sandra took her tiny, red-faced newborn baby and nursed her until she quieted down. As it turned out that nursing her baby was the only thing that quieted her down. Sandra decided to stay overnight at the hospital and leave first thing the next morning.

Sandra realized that having a baby was a gift, but it also was a somewhat overwhelming experience. And Sandra’s little girl was indeed challenging from day one forward.  Sandra never regretted her choice and took one day at a time. Each day was indeed a gift, but it was also a lifelong challenge.

To read more, enter your email address to Subscribe to my Blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

To Be Or Not To Be A Parent-These Things I Know To Be True

2 Replies

The decision to have children can be an easy decision to make, or it can be the most difficult decision you make in your lifetime.

My experience with this choice was no choice at all. I recall with absolute clarity that as a very young girl, I wanted children.

I came from a large family of six siblings. But my family was dissimilar than most of the children that I grew up within the 1950s and 1960s. The difference was that my fraternal twin and I were the youngest, and there was a wide age gap between the two of us and our older siblings. My older brother was almost twenty years older than we were. And my oldest sister was fifteen years older. And the next oldest was eight and seven years older.

As a result, my older siblings began marrying and having children when I was about ten years old. My sisters visited often and brought their babies and toddlers and little kids over to their grandparent’s house (my house) to visit. I fell in love with every one of these kids as they came along, beginning with my oldest niece, Maryellen. She was so smart, adorable, and affectionate. She was a happy baby. And her smiling baby face is one that I can still picture to this day.

Some kids at the age of ten or eleven might be jealous of the attention these little ones received, but I wasn’t, not for one moment. I looked forward to their visits with anticipation. When they arrived at our house, I would immediately want to take them to show them off to my friends and their families.

I started babysitting my nieces and nephews before I went to high school. I loved spending time with them. There has never been a more dotting aunt than I was. I resolved that I too would become a mother someday.

I met the future father of my children when I was quite young. I didn’t have to look that far. As it turned out my best childhood girlfriend, Joanie had a boy cousin that I had known. I decided that this was the person I would marry. In fact, as an adult, after we were married, my mother told me that when I was about ten, I told her that Bobby Culver and I were going to get married someday.

And we did marry in 1974 when I just turned twenty-three and Bob turned twenty-five. Bob recently returned from serving in the Navy during the Viet Nam war. Bob decided to go to school to study photography. He attended Brooks Institute in Santa Barbara, Ca.

As we all know, life doesn’t always follow the script we write. It takes its course and then there are the occasional bumps in the road or roadblocks.

I hit a roadblock. My doctor informed me that I was infertile for unknown reasons. After years of Doctor’s visits and tests, I was able to conceive and give birth when I was thirty in 1981. There was never a happier pregnant young woman than I. Even though I had morning sickness for almost the entire pregnancy.

Jeanette was a beautiful baby. I can remember the day we brought her home from the hospital as if it was yesterday. We put her in the borrowed bassinet. Bob and I stared at her all day. We are waiting for her to wake up. We could hardly believe that we had created this beautiful child. She seemed a miracle to us. 

When you bring your baby home, it is like falling in love. It is an all-encompassing feeling. If you remember the first time, you fell in love. It is a similar feeling except you are responsible for the health, the safety of this fragile dependent creature. And it’s your responsibility to teach your child how to talk, walk, eat, dress. You will always be their parent, even after you pass from this life. It is an awesome responsibility.

Jeanette said her first word, light when she was four months old. And she spoke in full sentences before she was two and a half.  Jeanette is highly intelligent. And challenging first child. She didn’t sleep through the night until she was almost three. She could climb like a monkey. I had to put gates everywhere. Between the dining room and the kitchen because Jeanette would climb on top of the stove, and climb up the stairs.

She scaled the dining room chairs and climbed on top of the dining room table and dance on it. I would find her balancing on top of the rocking chair and rocking it. She accomplished these acrobatic feats in the blink of an eye. You might think I wasn’t watching her, but Jeanette would be there one second and gone the next. And there she was on top of the dining room table.

When Jeanette was about two and a half, we decided she would benefit from having a sibling. And so, in time, her sister, Bridget was born in January of 1984.

To say that Jeanette was happy by this turn of events would be an outright lie. She had a raging case of sibling rivalry. We had to put a gate in the doorway of the baby’s room. If Jeanette made her way into Bridget’s bedroom, she would climb into the crib and jump up and down. Yelling, “I’m giving the baby a ride.”

Over time as Bridget grew and Jeanette was able to play with her and Jeanette’s tolerance for her new sister grew to acceptance.

Bridget was a happy baby, smiling and easily pacified if she cried. Once she learned to crawl, she followed Jeanette everywhere with her stuffed bear between her arms and legs. Bridget sucked her thumb until she was four. But somehow, she could speak clearly with that thumb planted firmly in her mouth. Bridget learned many new words by listening to Jeanette talk.

So, although their personalities were very different, they did have similar talents and interests. They loved games and puzzles and drawing and creating things. They both came to love reading as I took them to the library every week throughout their childhood.

There were never children born that were loved more than Jeanette and Bridget. I spent every moment of my life playing and talking to them and teaching them. I was a stay at home mother for seven years.

The good news is that by the time Jeanette graduated from highschool with Bridget three years behind her, they developed a better relationship.

And here they are now grown women who are as close as sisters can be. And they’re each other’s best friends even though they live eight hundred miles apart.

In conclusion, I would like to say becoming a parent is both a blessing and a challenge. Everyone who has children brings more love into their lives. But having children also brings fear. Fear that something unforeseen may happen to your precious child. If you are strong enough to bear that fear, then being a parent is a choice for you.  My life without my children would have been narrower, less challenging. I would have missed out on one of my life’s most fulfilling experiences.