It was June of 2007, and I was fifty-six years old. I hadn’t been feeling myself. I began feeling short of breath when I went up the steps or had to carry anything heavy. And then I began having pains that ran up and down my arm and under my chin. I tried to ignore it for as long as I could.

The symptoms got worse, and I decided that I needed to go to the doctor and find out what was going on. I went to my primary doctor for a check-up, and she recommended I go to a Cardiac specialist. She gave me a referral to a cardiologist Dr. Fox. He checked my blood pressure and weight and asked for my family history. I told him that my mother had congestive heart failure and she had died at the age of seventy-six from complete respiratory and cardiac arrest.

He arranged for me to have a cardiogram and echo, an electrocardiogram, and a cardiac catheterization at the Our Lady of Lourdes Hospital in Camden, NJ. When I returned to the heart doctor’s office to hear the results of the tests, he informed me that I had heart failure and that the left side of my heart was enlarged. He put me on a low dose of blood pressure medication and cholesterol medication. He advised me to come back in six months. He believed my heart failure was due to long-term untreated high blood pressure. I assured him that I had never had high blood pressure, but he insisted that I did. He told me to schedule a visit in one year to repeat the tests.

A year later, I was feeling worse, and he stated that he was going to repeat all the tests and see what changes had taken place in my heart. I told him that I wasn’t coming back since I didn’t believe he had done anything to improve my heart issues, And I wanted to take copies of my test results when I left the office that day. I was extremely upset over his lack of concern for my well-being.

I spent the next several weeks looking for a new cardiologist and was finally referred to Dr. Drachman in Cherry Hill, NJ. After my visit with Dr. Drachman and his cardiac nurse, Sandy Soloman, I was told that my former doctor hadn’t even put me on a dosage of medication that would have affected any improvement. And so first he was going I was going first to have an echocardiogram, and then he was going to put me on a beta blocker and a higher dosage of blood pressure medication. He wanted me to return to his office every three months to see him as he slowly titrated the levels of the heart medication. As I was going out of his office, I asked him what my outcome was going to be. He looked at me and said, you have congestive heart failure. You may live another five years. But, it was possible that with proper treatment, I could live longer. I would have to follow his medical advice. He couldn’t guarantee how long I might live, to take it one day at a time.

His words hit me like a blow. I really had no idea how seriously ill I was. Dr. Drachman diagnosed me with congestive heart failure, a weakened heart valve, and cardiac insufficiency. In fact, the left side of my heart was enlarged and had been for some time. I was shocked, to tell the truth, I had just turned fifty-seven years old. I had been a vegetarian for over twenty-five years. I had worked out at a gym for years. And I walked several miles every day at the park every morning.

He told me to stop lifting weights, but I could continue walking as long as I didn’t experience any chest pains. On the ride home from the doctor’s office, I felt like I had been hit by a Mack truck. I couldn’t believe that I had five or fewer years left in my life. I felt I still had so many more things to do in my life. I wasn’t ready to give up. And I didn’t.

When I came home from the doctor’s office, I told my family what the doctor had said, and I have to admit I cried when I said the doctor said, “if you are lucky, you will live another five years. I tried to maintain at least the outward appearance that I was going on with my life as before, but honestly, I became quite depressed. I had difficulty accepting that I was going to die when I had done everything I could do during my adult life to be healthy. Apparently, I had inherited heart failure.

At some point, I made the decision that I was wasting what time I had left being depressed, and I tried to enjoy each day and not dwell on my illness. And over time, I started feeling a lighter spirit come to me and lift me out of my depression.

I followed my doctor’s orders and returned to his office every three months to get a check-up, and he increased the dosage of my heart medication. I was now taking five heart medications. Over time my condition stabilized, although I still had an enlarged left side of my heart. The angina pains I had experienced for about a year and a half decreased. I tried to maintain a more optimistic view of life. And filled my days with things that I enjoyed taking long walks in the park every morning, painting, and I began writing.

As a result of having the good luck to find a doctor that cared about my well-being, I have slowly improved over time, and now I’m able to be physically active and have little or no pain. So, my husband and I began planning for our retirement, and we made the decision to move to North Carolina, where we could live in a milder climate, as cold weather in the North East had a detrimental effect on my breathing and well-being. Shortly before my husband and I retired, I received a call from Sandy Soloman, my cardiac nurse, telling me that there was a new medication available for my particular heart condition called Entresto. She strongly suggested that I start taking it. At first, I was somewhat concerned about changing my meds since I was feeling stable for the past several years. But I trusted her advice, and I began taking the Entresto twice a day, along with three other heart meds.

So, here I am, seven years later, retired and living in a quiet neighborhood in North Carolina, about a one-half hour outside of Raleigh, NC. I have been volunteering for the past seven years, three mornings a week, at an animal sanctuary. I  care for parrots, Macaws, and pheasants. In addition, I began writing a blog with my original short stories and memoirs. I  continue painting.

I found a new cardiologist at Duke University, Dr. Abraham, who sees me once a year to make sure that all is well with me. And so far, I am doing well and plan to continue in the same vein for as long as I can.

Hopefully, I will have many good years ahead of me. Who knows what the future may hold for me. But I look forward to whatever surprises lie in my path with anticipation. So fear not. Do not ever give up on yourself, no matter what difficulties you might have to face. Try to keep a positive outlook on your life and your future, and never give up on yourself. You never know what strength lives within you until you are tested. Do not give up because you may have to encounter some bumps along the way. And I look forward to celebrating my 72nd year on this planet on May 24^th of this year.

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