Tag Archives: techie

THE BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH

I was recruited in my senior year of College at Georgia Tech. My plan was to ultimately get a Masters Degree in Science and Technology. I’m smart; not genius smart but my IQ is somewhere up there in that stratosphere. I’m not bragging, just stating the facts, the facts and nothing but the facts.

But to achieve my goal, I needed money. My family was tapped out. A recruiter contacted me on campus and asked if I wanted to earn some real cash, working at the nearby Apple Store. Would I, of course I would. Any techie’s wet dream. Surrounded by the best of the best, creatives, mathematicians, hardware and software gurus. That’s the definition of who I am. I have been using a Macintoggle computer since I was five years old.

So, hell yeah, I took that job and swallowed the whole party line hook, line and sinker. On the final day of training I was unbelievably buzzed. I couldn’t wait to get on showroom floor and tell, nay educate customers about the latest Mac products including the Mac Super Pro with retinal display.

Just as my team was about to be released to start our new career, we were told on the downlow that there was a programming bug that had just been discovered recently. However, they were still going to launch the Mac Super Pro because so much time and money had been invested its production and promotion.

It was like being hit by a cold dead mackerel in the face. Selling substandard products. I just couldn’t believe it. In addition, if we failed to push Mac Super Pro, we were pretty much dead in the water.

I stumbled and mumbled my way out onto the floor. I felt dazed and bewildered. I needed the money. There was no if, and or buts. I had to do it. Sell product, after all I was just a guppy in a sea of bigger fish, sharks even.

I walked out there with my shoulders back and stomach in, like any good soldier going to fight the good fight. And then I saw her, walking into the store a tall blond athletic looking. Her face could launch a thousand ships. Maybe she wasn’t Helen of Troy, but a second runner up. Her pony tailed hair swung this way and that as she walked straight toward me. She wore a pair of black glasses that kept slipping down her nose. She kept pushing them back up with the heel of her hand. I was in love.

“Good morning, my name is James, how may I help you?”

“James is it? James Bond?”

I stared at her. Her eyes were indigo blue like the sea. I fell right into those eyes, and never wanted to leave. “What? Oh no, James, James Brown at your service.”

“Well, James, James Brown. I’m interested in the Mac Super Pro.”

I gulped, almost felt like I swallowed my tongue. I had to retrieve it before I could speak again. “Of course, it’s right over here. There isn’t anything else on the market that has the speed, versatility, and memory that the Mac has available.  It’s easy to use, really is intuitive. People friendly. Let me give you a demonstration.

She asked me questions that only another techie would know to ask. She wasn’t a techie virgin. I gulped again. I regurgitated everything that I had been instructed to tell a potential customer. I watched her face. She was impressed. I thought I was at the point where I could close the deal.

At that moment she said, “Oh one more thing, I have been hearing rumors on the forums that there is a possible programming problem with the Mac Super Pro, do you know anything about that?”

I looked her straight in those indigo eyes, and I said,” problems, none. This baby has been tested, checked, and rechecked. MacIntoggle has had it beta tested for six months before it was released. You have my word on it.”

“Alright then, let’s bag up this baby, and I’ll take it home right now.”

She walked out the door with her ponytail swinging left to right. I said to myself, job well done. I’m on my way making my mark in the world. I look to the door and in walked number two.