Can you believe it I’m driving by myself all the way from New Jersey to Santa Barbara, California? I ‘ve been planning this trip for months. I packed all my worldly belongings and put them in the trunk and back seat of my vintage yellow VW.

According to my calculations, I’ll have to drive forty-five hours and eighteen minutes. It ‘s a two thousand eight hundred and sixty- nine-mile drive. I’m going to drive for seven hours a day. If I drive sixty miles per hour, I will arrive in Santa Barbara in seven days.

This is going to be the best Christmas of my life. It is my coup de gras. I was hired as the head buyer for the women’s hat and wig department at Robinson’s Department Store.

You know it’s true what they say about LinkedIn. There are only two degrees of separation from you and someone who will help you achieve your goal. That’s how I got the job at Robinson’s Department Store. My old college roomie Bernadette knows the head of human resources at Robinson’s. She helped me get the job.

I know it’s all going to work out. I’m just outside the city limits of Oklahoma City, and my stomach starts growling. I pull into a Burger King. And order a burger and fries and sit down in a corner booth. I practically inhale the food.

I know that soon my days of eating alone will be over. I ditch the trash as I walk out to my car.  I turn on the ignition. The engine starts up but makes a grinding noise when I try back up. A really nice older man walks over to my car. After looking it over, he says, “Mam, I’m sorry to tell you, but it looks like you are going to need a new transmission.”

In my head, I’m screaming. I only have enough money to get to Santa Barbara and survive until my first paycheck. When he delivers this news, my eyes tear up. He takes one look at me. I see that fight or flight look in his eyes, like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Mam, now don’t start crying, lord. I can’t bear to see a woman in tears. Let me call my friend; he has an auto repair shop. I’ll get him to come and tow your car to his shop.”

I end up having to stay overnight in this seedy motel, called Bo Joe’s hotel and Gift Shop. It smells like a teenage boy’s gym locker, moldy gym clothes, and a forgotten tuna fish sandwich.

I take a shower. Just as I’m drying off with a towel the size of a napkin, my cell phone rings. It’s the guy from the garage. He has to order a part, but my car should be fixed late this afternoon. He’ll give me a call. I’m almost afraid to ask him how much.

“It only going to be six hundred dollars because I’m giving you a break on the labor charge.”

God, I hate to know what it would cost if he weren’t giving me a break. I’ll have to put it on my Visa card. Crap. I walk across the street and have a tasty breakfast of burnt toast and greasy eggs at a place called Good Eats, a very misleading name. I sit on the torn leather seat, sipping my lukewarm bitter coffee. How can it be so bitter? Was it heated up from the day before? I leave a fifty-cent tip for the over-the-hill waitress.

I walk up and down the street. None of the stores are open except for a drug store. I walk up and down the isles and decide to buy a paperback book called Your Heart’s Desire.  I take it as a sign that everything is going to work out. This car trouble is just a little bump on my road to true love and happiness.

At four o’clock, my cell rings. It’s the mechanic. “Mam, your car is ready I can send Randy over to pick you up if you like.”

I like.  By five o’clock, I’m back on the road towards Paradise. I pick up the pace and drive through Amarillo, Albuquerque, then Flagstaff, and Barstow. Then I see the sign I’ve been waiting for Welcome to Santa Barbara.

It’s beautiful, the mountains on one side and the deep blue ocean on the other. I find my way to a hotel and check-in.  I can almost see the beach from my bedroom window. I unpack and start planning the rest of my life.

In the morning, I put on my favorite Versace knock-off blue, silk suit, and my favorite pale-yellow blouse. I take a final look in the mirror. I look fantastic. I head off to my first day at Robinson’s and the rest of my life. I pull into the employee’s parking lot.  I head up to the human resource office.

Allison Moore, my friend’s friend, offers me a seat in her office. “Hello, Carol, we all been looking forward to meeting you. And having you become part of our family at Robinson’s. We know you’re going to love it here. We are all sure that you will be an asset to our store. Can you fill out these papers first? Then we’ll head on down to the dining room for a light breakfast. You can meet James Madison, the head of the department store. He always meets all our new department heads on their first day. He has been on a buying trip for the past six weeks, so he hasn’t had the opportunity to read over your resume. But I know he’ll be as impressed as I am.

My heart starts beating rapidly and irregularly. I’m literally a heartbeat away from being reunited with my one and only true love, James.  I hand the papers with trembling hands to the secretary.

“Ms. Moore will be right out have a seat. “Fantastic, all the paperwork is complete. Let’s get down to the dining room and have a meet and greet with Mr. Madison.”

We get in the elevator and descend to the first floor and to the dining room. My heart is pounding out of my chest. I’m hyperventilating. I’m afraid I am going to pass out before I even see James. I see him getting out of his seat and extending his hand to me. I hear a faint buzzing in my ears and heat rising up to my head. That’s the last thing I remember until I come to. I look around somewhat dazed. There are two security guards and a police officer standing over me. “What’s happening?”

James is standing there, glaring down at me. “Officer escort this woman out of here. There’s a warrant out for her arrest in Colorado. She’s been stalking me for the past ten years. Two years ago, she drugged and kidnapped me and kept me, prisoner, for five days. Her name is Carol Damminger. She is completely insane and dangerous. Get her out of my sight.”

I’m taken in handcuffs to the squad car. “Officer, this is all just a misunderstanding. A lover’s quarrel, you’ll see.”

But they don’t see, and that’s how I ended up spending Christmas awaiting extradition to Colorado to be tried for kidnapping and unlawful restraint. But it will all work out. James and I are meant to be together. One day very soon, we will be. As soon as I have access to a computer, it will all work out. Easy peasy.

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