PART TWO

I have mixed emotions as I drive back to the breath-taking Crepe Myrtle Lodge. And by breath-taking, I mean you have to hold your breath the whole time you’re there. See I’m already trying to maintain my sense of humor in spite of the pit I’m going to spend the next one or two days in bored out of my mind in. OK, so I need more practice in keeping my sense of humor. I guess I’ll have to work on that for more than the next two days.

I arrive at the “hotel” and I” m once again hit with an overwhelming feeling of “what the hell?” And I head towards my “room.” Maybe I’ll be lucky, and the hotel staff will have come in and given the place the once over. While I was out hiking and getting attacked by a vicious beast. But no such luck, as I get out of the car and hop on one foot up to the door I peek in the room and see there hasn’t been any miraculous do-over since I last laid my eyes on it. In fact, it looks even messier, if that’s possible. I jam the key into the lock and the door swings open before I turn the key. So, either I forgot to lock it, or someone has been in here for some unknown reason. And then I think maybe I’m at the wrong door. So, I check the room number. But no, it’s the right room. I step in and slam the door shut behind me.

My ankle is throbbing a bit but nothing too terrible. I decide to take a nap since it has been a somewhat difficult day and a long one. Between traveling and ending up at the Bates Hotel. And then the snake bite and the doctor’s visit. On the plus side, I met a beautiful young lady and plan on having a great dinner and interesting conversation. I consider taking a shower but decide to forego it until after my nap since I’m knackered. I pull off my hiking boots and socks, shirt and pants, and flop down on the bed.

And in that horrible moment, I realize that I’m not alone in the bed. I scream an expletive and jump out of the lumpy bed. I yank the blanket and sheet off the bed. And lying before me is a naked man. A disgustingly filthy, nasty, wrinkled, old man lies there. I give him a mighty shake. Nothing. Dear god, did he stumble into my room by mistake and die? Why, why, why did he have to die in my bed? I shake him again, nothing. I turn him over with my eyes closed and pull the blanket up to his chest. I put my face as close to his nose and mouth as I can possibly tolerate. Nothing, Nada, zilch. The guy is dead as a doorknob, stiff as a plank, kicked the bucket, his ticket was punched for the last time.

The stench emanating from his mouth and unbelievably filthy body are almost overwhelming. I grab the phone next to the bed and push the button that says, “OFFICE.” Nothing happens, no one answers, no voice message comes on, nothing. If my leg weren’t killing me, I would jump up and down and have a full-out adult tantrum. But really, I’m not surprised in the least.

I head out the door towards the office. I feel kind of sick to my stomach and yet I’m mad as hell at the same time. Inside my head, I keep saying, “shit, shit, shit.” I arrive at the office door and yank on it hard. And surprise,  surprise, it’s locked, and the lights are out. The sign on the door says, “CLOSED.”

Once again, I have the overwhelming desire to start jumping up and down and screaming at the top of my lungs. And I would but my ankle is throbbing like a you know what. I take out my cell phone and dial 911. “Hello, this is Joe Wadsworth. I’m staying at the Crepe Myrtle Hotel. I came back from hiking to find a dead body in my room. The hotel manager is nowhere to be found. The reception on my phone out here is horrible? Did you just ask me if I’m sure he’s dead?”

“Yes, I’m sure he’s dead. I know dead when I see it. Can you please come out here so I can get some peace? I’ve had a horrible day.”

“What, did you just say? “Not as bad as the dead guy’s day? What the hell is wrong with the people around here. This isn’t a joke, get out here and take this corpse out of my room, PLEASE. I’m begging you. “Yes, I’ll be standing outside the room.”

About 25 minutes later a police car and an ambulance shows up at the hotel. Joe decides to stand in front of the OFFICE door since he realizes he didn’t tell them his hotel room number. In fact, he can’t even remember if there was a number on his door. It seems as if was an eon ago that he arrived at this sorry excuse for a vacation hotel. It’s more like he was living an episode of the Twilight Zone. The one where the day never ends it just keeps going on and on and on. And you can’t find any way out.

Two uniformed police officers walk over to him in no particular hurry. It occurs to Joe that finding a corpse in a hotel room in this area must not be an unexpected event. Maybe it happens every day. Who the hell knows?

“Are you the complainant?”

“Complainant? Well, that’s one way of putting it. Yes, or you could say I’m a fellow victim of this god-forsaken place. My name is Joe Wadsworth. I’m the one that hasn’t been murdered yet. On the other hand, the day is young yet. I might possibly die yet from the snake bite that I experienced earlier today or who knows food poisoning at the restaurant that I have a reservation at later this evening. Don’t give up hope.”

“All right sir, you need to calm down. It’s not helpful to lose control of yourself in this type of situation.”

“Really, really? What kind of situation is that? The one where I came here to find some peace and possibly a moment of happiness in my life. An escape from the daily grind of the monotonous grind of my soul-killing job. That kind of situation?”

“Alright  sir, take a couple of deep breaths and calm down before we have to cuff you and put you in the back of the squad car for your own good.”

Joe stares at the two of them and considers if it would be worth it to just punch them both in the face, just to feel some kind of satisfaction or a moment of reprieve in this nightmare of a day. He decides he doesn’t want to sit in a jail cell or be cuffed in the back seat of these country bumpkins in police uniforms. “Yes, your right I need to take a couple of breaths and calm down.” He does just that, and he waits for them to continue the conversation.

“Alright sir, now let’s start from the beginning.”

“The beginning, well I’m assuming you mean from when I arrived at this hotel?”

“No, explain how you found a dead body in your room?” I arrived this morning and decided to go hiking, When I came back from hiking, I was exhausted and decided to take a nap. I noticed my bed was messier than when I left to go hiking earlier this morning. But as you can see this isn’t the Four Seasons Hotel. So, I just flopped down on the top of the bed and that is when I realized that I was not alone. There was someone under the covers.

I would be lying if I told you I was surprised because I wasn’t. I thought. Someone has wandered into my room by mistake and fell asleep or was dead drunk in my bed. Unfortunately, he turns out to be just dead. When I checked his breathing, he wasn’t breathing at all. And it was clear that the dirty, old man was dead, dead, dead. This is my room right here maybe you should have a look for yourself. And then Joe takes a deep breath and sighs. He could not imagine anything more horrific happening than already happened.

“Alright sir, please wait outside while we investigate the situation. Do not leave the scene of the crime.”

“Scene of the crime? How do you know there was a crime? The dead guy is old as dirt. And unfortunately for me, he wandered into my room and croaked in my bed.”

“Ok, sir we’ll be out of here as soon as we can. Wait here.”

“I will. I’m going to wait.”

After about twenty minutes the officers come out and close the hotel door behind them. The one who been doing all the talking before, says, ”so there seems to have been some kind of altercation in the room. Could you explain what happened?”

There hasn’t been any kind of altercation in the room, that’s how it looked when I arrived. In fact, this room is ten times better than the first room the “manager” showed me. The only difference is the addition of a crusty, old dead guy in the bed. And he arrived sometime after I went hiking and was bitten by a snake and went to the emergency room and came back here to the Third Circle of Hell.”

“We are going to have the detectives come in and investigate, look for any evidence of foul play. We will have to get your fingerprints to rule you out. And we will need all your contact information in case we need to ask you any further questions. I don’t know how long it will take, but you are going to have to get another room.”

“Another room, good grief. The stupid manager is never in his office. Well, if he doesn’t show up before you guys leave then I’m just going to have to see if there is another empty room and has an unlocked door.”

“Sorry, but you’re not going to be able to go into the room until I’m finished in there. The coroner will be here soon to take the body out. And then we will be looking for any signs of a struggle. If there isn’t any, we won’t be that long. Find a place to wait.”

Well, I guess I’ll try and take a nap, not much else to do since my ankle is killing me. Joe decides to call Emily and tell her the latest development. She will probably think he has lost his mind altogether. He takes out his cell phone and punches in Emily’s phone number. It rings a few times, but she doesn’t pick up. He leaves a short message. “Hello Emily, it’s me, Joe. I just wanted to let you know that due to an unexpected event I’ve had to move to another room. I’ll give you a call later Joe.’

Joe wanders up and down the path in the immediate area checking doorknobs to see if any of them are unlocked with no sign of the room is empty. He shutters to think what he may discover in one of the unoccupied rooms. After finding the first three rooms locked. He is ready to give up and sleep in his car. But decides to try one more door. And voila it is unlocked. He gingerly opens the door and looks straight ahead and then left to right. He calls out. “hello, is anybody in here?”

No one answers the door, so Joe turns the knob, and the door swings open. He takes a deep breath and enters the room with trepidation. Who knows what he may find in here? He looks from right to left and takes several steps forward. There is a single bed, that doesn’t have any sheets, blankets, or bedspread. He decides to venture closer to inspect the mattress. It has several suspicious stains, but no blood stains or signs of bedbugs. So that is a step up. And he did buy sheets and pillows and towels when he was out before this whole day from hell started.

He saw a small round table and a chair and behind that a counter with a coffee pot and upon closer inspection a dirty cup. He picks up the cup and takes it in the direction he imagines the bathroom is in. He shoves the door open with his foot and looks at the bathroom. There is a dirty sink and a dirty standing shower, no towels. The floor is dry, so he imagines no one has stayed here in the last twenty-four hours.

The mirror over the sink reflects a somewhat distorted image of himself. He has bags under his eyes, and his eyes look back at him as if he were a stranger. He goes back to the living area and decides that this room will do. As he leaves the room, he notes that on the outside of the door is the legend A 27. The 7 is hanging cockeyed because one of the screws is missing and when he closes the door behind him the seven falls to the ground. He lets out an ironic laugh. And heads back to his short-lived former room.

Joe sees a man who he suspects is the coroner and his assistant taking out the body of the unknown, old and crusty man. He wishes he could summon up some pity for this man, but he simply cannot. His last thought about the deceased is why the hell did he have to stumble into my room, my bed, and croak? He knows he shouldn’t feel this way, but he does. And he feels justified in his feelings and ashamed at the same time.

He watches the guys in white lift the gurney into the ambulance. And wishes the old man a Bon Voyage. And then lets out a laugh of sorts. He peeks into the room and calls out “ Can I please for the love of god, take my stuff out of the room? I found an empty room four doors down. He waits and finally, he sees the detective coming toward him. “Alright, come in. Don’t touch anything. Start getting your belongings, do not touch anything else. Nothing. Do you understand?”

“Yes, only take my own belongings, nothing else. I sent my contact information to you and my home phone number as well. Barring some other calamity, I’ll be here until the end of the week, I’m four doors down. I will be in the room the rest of the day. But hopefully, I’ll be up and around by tomorrow afternoon. Tomorrow night I have a date, please, please do not call me then. Can I go now?”

“Yes, but first let me say this. The Coroner believes that no foul play was involved, no sign of bloodshed or possible mayhem. It seems as if the old man was inebriated and possibly hit his head at some point, came into your room and passed out, or even had a heart attack or stroke. So, it looks like you’re in the clear. I will get in touch if I need any further information. Good luck I hope the rest of your vacation is an improvement over today. Take your stuff, nothing else and I’ll be in contact at some point if necessary.”

“Thanks, nothing personal, but I hope we don’t have to meet again or even speak, I plan on blocking this day from my memory. I can only hope the next days are an improvement. I can’t imagine what worse thing could happen.”
“Well, let’s hope that’s true. But probably I’m the last one you should ask because that’s all I ever see, the worse of mankind. Good Luck all the same.”

Joe walks over to his car and decides that although it isn’t parked that far from his “new” room he will drive it down and park it out front of the room. Otherwise, he’ll have to cart all his hiking equipment, camera equipment stuff from this room to the next. And why the hell would he want to do that on his one good foot?

After Joe parks his car, and slowly carries in all his equipment, and the sheets and towels, and supplies he needed he is tuckered out and decides to take a quick shower and take a nap. Today has been an unbelievably long day. He carries the towels and his personal bag into the bathroom and turns on the shower. There is a weird creaking noise and then a loud whining and a kind of a big bang. The water comes out in spurts, it is an odd color like rust or dried blood. “Holy Crap, will this never end?” He shouts.” And then it sounds like the pipes are vibrating he’s afraid they will burst and then there is a sudden silence, the water stops and starts a few times. And then the water comes out in a tremendous rush. Joe sticks his hand under the spray to gauge the temperature and it is ice cold. “Shit,” he says. And then undresses and grabs a plastic bag that the new towels came in and puts it on his injured ankle and ties it as far up as the bag will go.

He puts his good leg and then his bad leg in the shower and endures the coldest shower he has ever taken. It feels as if he is taking a shower outside at the North Pole. He soaps up and then hops on one foot, directly under the spray, and rinses off. His ankle doesn’t throb anymore at the moment since it feels like it’s frozen all the way through. “Dear god, I don’t think I can take one more moment. Will this ever end?”

Joe turns off the shower and grabs the new towel and puts his good leg out followed by the bad leg. He leans against the outside of the shower and dries himself as well as he can. And puts on his jockeys and sits on the toilet, he takes a look at his ankle and surprisingly doesn’t look that bad. The swelling has lessened, and it doesn’t look like the angry red that it previously exhibited. He disinfects the injury and wraps the Ace bandage around it. And then hops over to the bed on his good leg and flops on the bed and falls instantly asleep.

Joe is in the middle of a nightmare where he is in a pit filled with Copperhead snakes that are surrounding him and about to be attacked when he is awakened by his cell phone ringing. He is somewhat dazed and confused. He looks around the room and isn’t quite sure where or even when it is. He stares at the phone and doesn’t recognize the number, so he lets it go to voice mail.

He thinks I don’t even want to know why anyone is calling me. I can not take one bit of bad news. I’ve had enough. As he lies there, he considers becoming a monk who has taken a vow of silence and daily prayer who lives in a cave on some isolated island somewhere. He has all but lost his faith in humanity. He reflects on the unbelievably awful events of the last twenty-four hours. He can not imagine a worse vacation than this one. But then he pictures Emily’s beautiful face with her big blue eyes and rosy cheeks and her long red hair. And thinks, maybe it’s all worth it. Fate meant for us to meet, perhaps she is the one.

He groggily gets out of bed and looks at the clock it is almost six o’clock. For some reason he thinks, six o’clock, six o’clock I’m supposed to be doing something at 6 o’clock. And then his stomach growls and he remembers Chinese Food. He rolls to the side of the bed and carefully places both feet on the cold, wood floor. His ankle is still throbbing slightly, but he considers the alternative. It would be so much worse if he couldn’t feel his ankle or foot and then what amputation? He leans over and examines his ankle, still red, somewhat puffy, but not too terrible. He felt himself relax somewhat.

His stomach gives one final loud growl to remind him that he was starving. “Ok, Ok I’m going to get the food, calm down. It was a weird habit of his to talk t his stomach as if it were a separate entity from him. Joe pulls on clean socks and his underwear and pants and grabs a shirt from his suitcase and throws it on. As he was about to go out the door, he realizes he’s forgotten his wallet. He goes back to the chair where he threw his pants he wore earlier and retrieves his wallet and keys. Then he leaves to go and pick up the take-out Chinese food.

He gets in his car without incident and drives the ten minutes to the restaurant with no problems. His ankle still hurts when he presses the brake pedal. But he thinks considering everything that happened today, he can live with it. He has his fingers crossed that by tomorrow he would be much better, and he can continue hiking without any further incidents. Joe pulls into a parking space near the front entrance of the restaurant which is called Number One Chinese. He walks through the door that jingles as he opens it and when he closes it.

The same smiling man is standing at the counter as he was earlier in the day. He looks at him, and says, “Yes, can I help you?”

“Yes, thank you. My name is Joe Wadsworth. I placed an order this morning for take-out at 6 PM. I’m sorry I’m a little late, but I took a nap and just woke up.”

The smiling man says, “No problem sorry, it is ready. We kept it in the warmer, would you like anything to drink?”

“You know, would it be alright to eat here, rather than take out, my hotel room has a lot to be desired including a table and chair. And you know I would really like a tall glass of beer. “Saison, if you have it?”

“Of course, please have a seat and we will bring your dinner to the table along with the Saison. Anything else?”

“No, that sounds great, thank you so much. You are a breath of fresh air.”

The smiling man looks at him somewhat strangely and says, “of course, sir.”

Joe looks around and there is only one other table occupied. A couple is sitting there leaning in towards one another as if no other people existed. He looks at them someone enviously. And then sits at a table next to the wall opposite them.

As he’s waiting for his food and beer, he takes his cell phone out of his pocket to check for any further calls. Just the one call, with the name and a number he doesn’t recognize. He wasn’t surprised because he left a message on his phone that he was on vacation for the next week and would not be available. “Good.” he thinks.

As he sits there waiting for his food, he looks around the restaurant. It looks like the same as every other Chinese take-out joint, he has frequented over the years. Even has a small Koi pond next to the back wall near the table where the couple is sitting. He decides to hobble over there and take a look while he is waiting.

He glances at the young couple as he passes them and thinks for some reason the woman looks familiar, but that can’t be since he didn’t know anyone in this area at all. As he looks at the enormous Koi swimming gracefully around the pond. He begins to relax a little. He hears the couple whispering to one another. And he thinks, that’s so weird, her voice sounds so familiar. He decides to take a better look at her as he walks back to his table.

He turns towards them and he notices that the young woman sitting at the table has long red hair. He thinks, red hair, that’s weird that he would see two redheads I one day. And that is when it hits him. The voice of the young woman is familiar. It wasn’t just any redhead. It was “his redhead.”

He considers just passing them by and going out to his car. He just can’t take one more disappointment today, he just couldn’t. And then he thinks but maybe they are just friends, or maybe they just decided to share the table since they were the only two people eating in, stranger things have happened, haven’t they?

So, he walks straight over to the table and says,” Emily, is that you?”

She looks up and him. She smiles at him and then her expression changes dramatically when she recognizes him. Her smile disappears and her face becomes pale than red as a beet. “Oh, what a surprise to see you here. What are the chances that we would both end up eating at the same take-out?”

“Honey, this is the man I was telling you about earlier that I met while hiking. You know the guy that got bitten by a snake. Your name is Joe, right? Joe, this is my husband Thomas, he just arrived he had to catch up on some work before he met me at our hotel. Her face is looking pale again. I look at her, she looks back with kind of a pleading look in her eyes.

I said, “oh, yes of course. Nice to meet you.” And at that moment I heard the smiling man call out Joe Wadsworth, your dinner is ready”. You know I think I’ll take that out after all if you could just put that all in a box to go, I would appreciate it. Thanks.”

“Well, nice seeing you again, have a nice time.” And then I turn away from them and head up to the counter to pick up my food, and I think. If I had a gun, I might just shoot myself. Luckily, I didn’t so I just grab my take-out and pay off the smiling man and walk out the door without looking back.

As I get in my car I think, things can only go up from here. They just can not get worse. And that is when I notice my left, rear tire is flat.

 

 

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