If you’ve ever suffered from insomnia even for a short time you will understand how I feel. And why what happened on that particular night transpired. I have to say that I have lived my entire life sleep-deprived. My mother told me long ago when I was a baby and a young child, she had difficulty getting me to go to bed, fall asleep and stay asleep the entire night.
Nightmare Monster
She told me sometimes it took her an hour to get me to go to bed and stay there. That I would get up many times and ask for water, or tell her I was hungry or that I had to go to the bathroom. Sometimes even after my parents and older siblings were all fast asleep, she would be awakened by me standing next to her bed and saying,” I can’t fall asleep or I had a terrible nightmare. Or she would get up to go to the bathroom sometime after midnight and find me lying on the floor eyes wide open. She would say,” Ellie why are you out of bed?” You need to go back to your room and go to sleep you have to go to school in the morning and I have to go to work. Please, please go back to your room and get some sleep.”
My father worked the night shift and I rarely saw him. I wouldn’t dare go into my parent’s room when he was home at night. He would yell, “what is that kid doing in our room again, can’t you make her stay in her bed?” My mother said, “I did, she has trouble sleeping and she becomes frightened when she is lying awake in the dark. She has a vivid imagination.
“Put her to bed and make her stay there or I’ll lock her in there and make her sorry she doesn’t stay in her room at night.”
My father had a short fuse and I had no doubt that he would make me sorry for not staying in bed.
“Come on Ellie let’s go back to your room and I will sit with you until you fall asleep.” And as tired as she must have been she would come and sit by my bed and sing quietly next to me until I drifted off to sleep. She called it the Land of Nod.
” The Land of Nod is the reason that I didn’t want to fall asleep because I knew only too well that I didn’t want to go there again. Because it is a place where nightmares begin.
But the horrors that take place there don’t always end when you open up your eyes. Most people don’t hear the voices that I hear when I return from the Land of Nod. I can still see the monsters that dwell there and remember the horrific things they told me.
The Land of Nod is not the peaceful place you might imagine it to be. It is a land of tormented exile rather than a place of peaceful sleep. Some lost souls become vanquished to this place of eternal nightmares. They cannot get out and return to their waking life. They are possessed by the evil that dwells there.
One night I lay down on my bed and the next thing I know I‘m climbing up a rusty metal winding staircase on the side of an ancient Victorian house. As I climb upward toward the roof, I can’t see any end to the ladder. The roof seems to move farther and farther away instead of closer. It begins to rain and become extremely windy. The rain is hitting me hard. It feels like bullets are pelleting me. The staircase becomes extremely slippery. It begins to sway from the left to the right and back again. It bangs against the side of the old house over and over. I fight my way up the stairs to the roof.
Finally. I reach the roof and as I look up, I see what I can only describe as a face full of hatred and disgust. There is steam rising from its body. I almost lose my grip on the ladder in an effort to remove myself from the creature’s presence. He thrust out his scaled and crusty claw to grab me. My terror at the thought of this monster touching me is greater than my fear of falling from the roof. I let go and just as I was about to slam to the ground and no doubt die, I wake up with a start in a cold and clammy sweat.
I reluctantly open my eyes one at a time. Terrified at where I might be. I realize I’m in my room. I’m about to crawl out of my bed when I hear my closet door creaking open. Before my eyes, I see the scaley face and toothy grin of the creature that has been waiting for me on the roof. The last thing I remember seeing is the awful vision of the creature licking his lips in anticipation of devouring me.
I close my eyes tightly and hold my breath. Fearing what terrible event might take place. I wait for what seems an eternity. Finally, I open my eyes and stare across the room and I see nothing except that my closet door is wide open. There are huge reptilian footprints on the carpet. I let out a scream so loud that both my father and mother come running into my room.
“Dear god Helen what is wrong with this child? Why can’t she go to sleep and stay asleep until morning. Why is she always waking up every night screaming like a banshee?”
“I don’t know Henry. She’s a child. Children have highly active imaginations. They have nightmares. What do you expect me to do? I give her a warm bath before bed. I give her warm milk to help her sleep. I sit with her for hours at night. Sometimes she seems fine when I first put her to bed. And then in about fifteen or twenty minutes, she starts twitching and moaning. And then before you know it, she starts screaming. It’s very hard to wake her up then. I have to really shake her hard. It’s like the nightmares have a tight grip on her. It’s scary. Sometimes I’m afraid that I won’t be able to wake her up and she is a prisoner to these horrible nightmares she has.”
“Well Helen, you have got to do something. How can I go to work and do my job when I never get a decent night’s sleep? You are going to have to take her to the doctors and see if there is anything they can do. I’m exhausted.”
“Henry we’re all exhausted. I’ll see if the pediatrician can offer some kind of solution or if he can refer me to a therapist of some kind who can help her.”
“Do it tomorrow, Helen, I’m at the end of my rope. Do you understand?”
“Yes Henry, I understand. Tomorrow.”
The next day my mother says to me, “Ellie I made an appointment for you to go to the doctor.”
“No, I don’t want to go to the doctor, I hate when she gives me shots. I don’t want to, no.”
“Ellie, I’m sorry but you are going. He won’t be giving you any shots. This is a different kind of doctor. He is the kind of doctor that just talks to you to see if anything is troubling you or making you upset. I want you to talk to him about the problems you have sleeping and the nightmares you have all the time. He is just going to listen to you that’s all. And then he will talk to you and me and tell us what he thinks is causing your sleep problems and try to make it better. Do you understand?”
“Yes, but I can’t tell him about the Land of Nod.”
“The Land of Nod?”
“Yes, you told me that I go to the Land of Nod when I go to sleep. It is terrible there. There are horrible monsters that live there. And they try to kill me and eat me. Sometimes they come back with me when I wake up to my room and they try to kill me. They hide in my closet.”
“Ellie, the Land of Nod isn’t a place. It’s just an expression for going to sleep. Anything that you see in your dreams is just your imagination at work. We all have nightmares sometimes if we go to sleep and we are overtired or had a bad day or something upsetting happens before we go to bed. I’m sure the doctor will tell you the same. How about you go and get dressed and wash your face. Then come into the kitchen and I’ll make you some hot oatmeal. I know you love that.”
“Ok mom, I’ll get dressed and come eat breakfast.”
After breakfast, I went into the kitchen and my mother said “Ellie please go brush your teeth and then put on your jacket. I don’t want to be late.”
“Ok mom, I’ll be right back.”
My mother didn’t talk much on the ride to the doctor’s office. I kept my fingers crossed and hope the doctor wouldn’t give me a needle. Cause I hate needles.
“Ellie, we’re almost there. Don’t worry she’s just going to talk to you. All you have to do is answer his questions truthfully.”
“Ok mom, I will.”
A few minutes later we got to the doctor’s office and we were told to have a seat until we were called in to talk to the doctors. It seemed like we sat there forever. And then a pretty lady came out and said Ellie can you come with me?’
My mom nodded her head and said, “go on Ellie everything is going to be alright, I promise.”
The pretty lady said, “here, we are please just have a seat and Dr. Robbins will be right in.”
I sat there and sat there for a long, long time. And then a short chubby old man came in. He was wearing his going to church clothes. He had a long black and grey beard. He said.” hello, miss Elie. I’m Doctor Robbins and we are just going to have a little talk about the trouble you have sleeping. Can you tell me about that?”
I looked at him and he sat and waited for me to say something. I couldn’t decide if I should tell him about the Land of Nod or not. But my mother said that he was going to help me sleep better and I was really tired. “Ok, I’m afraid to fall asleep at night because of what happens after I fall asleep. I’m afraid to go to the Land of Nod, and what happens there and because sometimes the monsters are going to hurt me. And sometimes when I wake up in my bed the monsters are in my room.”
“The Land of Nod? What is that, Ellie?”
“Oh, that’s what my mom calls the place you go when you fall asleep.”
“What do you see there Ellie? “
“There are monsters, they are really scary they usually have been long, sharp teeth and long claws. Sometimes they can fly. They tell me that they are going to kill me or my mom and dad.”
“Oh, that sounds really scary. What happens when you wake up Ellie?”
“Mostly I wake up in my bed because my mom comes in and shakes me cause I was crying or screaming in my sleep and wake my dad up and he gets really mad at me when I do that. Cause he has to go to work and he’s always tired. I don’t want to wake him up so I try to keep myself awake all night so I won’t wake up screaming and getting my dad mad.”
“Does anything else happen after you wake up?”
I look at the doctor really hard because I wanted to be sure I should tell him about the monsters coming back from the Land of Nod with me. His face looks like he really wants me to tell him the truth. “Yes, sometimes the monsters come back with me to my room sometimes they hide under the bed, and sometimes they are hiding in my closet to kill me or my mom and dad.”
“Ellie you must be really scared when you see that. Did you ever tell your Mom and Dad that?”
“I did tell my mom once but she didn’t believe me so I don’t tell her anymore. She told me it was just a nightmare and not real. But it is, I can feel the monster’s breath on my face and it smells like burning. Sometimes it spits at me and I have to go in and wash my face because it burns. I really scream when that happens and that’s when I wake my mom and dad up.”
“Alright Ellie, I think I understand now. I’m going to go talk to your mom and then she will be able to take you home. Just sit here quietly for a few minutes.
The doctor asks his assistant to call Ellie’s mother into his office. She arrived looking exhausted with dark circles under her eyes and a worried expression on her face.”
“Well doctor, what do you think is going on with Ellie?”
“Mrs. Lipton what is happening to Ellie and it’s not unusual for this to happen to children in her developmental stage is that she is having Night Terrors. Well, the best description of a Night Terror is that is a vivid dream. Sometimes it can be a result of some trauma, but most often it is an inherited trait that might run in your family. Did you and anyone in your family have night terrors that you know of Mrs. Lipton?”
“Not in my family as far as I know of doctor. But I don’t know about my husband’s family. Is there anything you can tell me to do because my husband isn’t getting enough sleep because of being woken up at night.
“Well yes, a few things making sure she is relaxed and sleepy when she goes to bed. Perhaps giving her a hot bath might help. Try and reassure her that she just needs to quiet herself and think of things that make her happy. Reassure her that she is loved. And perhaps sit by her bed until she falls asleep. Ultimately, she will outgrow this behavior as she gets older. About 40 percent of children have these night terrors. Do not wake her up when she is having one. Sometimes children can act out if that happens. It is not uncommon for children to sleepwalk while they are having a night terror.”
“Really, oh dear. That’s is scary.”
“As I said as her nervous system becomes fully developed these dreams will resolve themselves. Try to have a ritual before she retires for the night. Taking a bath, having some warm milk. Saying her prayers if you do that. And finally kissing her good night and she closes her eyes and waiting for her to fall asleep. If this doesn’t work, we will consider sending her to a sleep lab. Call me and let me know how she is doing, alright?
“Yes, I understand Doctor thanks for your help. I hope it works. I will keep in touch.”
“Alright my nurse will be bringing Ellie out to the waiting room now. Goodbye.”
Ellie followed the nurse out to the waiting room. She saw her mom sitting there and said, “can we go now. I’m really tired?”
“Yes let’s go home and see what we can have for lunch shall we. What would you like Ellie?”
“Oh, vegetable soup and a grilled cheese sandwich. That’s my favorite.”
“That’s what it will be then. As they drove towards home. Ellie’s mother could see her eyes kept closing and then she saw Ellie was asleep. Ellie’s mom thought, oh what a relief. She continued on her way home without any incident and suddenly she heard a weird growling noise from the back seat. She thought it was the car backfiring at first and then she realized it was a low growling. So, she looked in the rear-view mirror and she glanced at Ellie who was now wide awake and she had her mouth wide opened in a silent scream. The growling noise got louder and she saw something so terrifying that her mind wanted to block it out. But it couldn’t there was a creature with a long snout full of huge fangs and it was above Ellie’s head looking as if it was about to bite off Ellie’s head.
Helen thought she must be losing her mind. How could she be seeing this living nightmare? She kept staring at it, the huge orange, bulging eyes, the horns that look like they could kill someone with ease. And then it open’s its mouth wide and spewed forth the most acrid, decaying smell she had ever experienced. And that is when Helen was awakened by a loud noise. Her car had just slammed into the median strip in the middle of the highway. Ellen’s eyes opened and she realized she had fallen to sleep at the wheel and crashed her car. At that moment she remembered from a long-buried memory that she had experienced night terrors as a child and Ellie must have inherited it from her. And then the lights went out when she lost consciousness. The next thing she was aware of was when she woke up in an ambulance with her daughter lying beside her on a gurney. She was banged up and bruised but alive.
Helen and Ellie heard a calming voice saying, “you are going to be alright. We are on our way to the emergency room. Everything is going to be alright. Try to rest now.”
Helen looked at Ellie looked at one another tears ran down their cheeks. Knowing that they would never have a peaceful sleep again.
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