Monthly Archives: December 2021

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED

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Do you know that tradition some folks have at the beginning of a new year? They make a long list of New Year’s resolutions. The first one is usually something like I’m going to lose that extra weight I’ve been carrying for the past five years. I’m going to start eating healthy foods. I’m going to exercise. I’ll join a gym.

Party hat dog by meme generator.net

And then you realize you are two months into the new year, and you didn’t stick to your diet or exercise. You did join the gym but you only went there for four days and you remembered how much you hate exercising. And how much you hate the horrific noise of grunting and groaning that those crazy muscle-bound freaks do.

In fact, you have gained four pounds because you ate that whole box of chocolates that your Aunt Betty sent you for Christmas. Because she remembers how much you loved chocolate when you were a kid.

And last year was possibly the worst year of my life. But let’s face it how can I be optimistic when I lost my job, my dearest friend in the world passed away and I only have a hundred dollars left in my savings account?

I start the day by saying positive affirmations to myself. “ I believe in my dreams and myself. I love myself for who I am. I’m in charge of my own destiny, and the best is yet to be. And finally, I’m grateful for every day.“

On day twenty-nine of the new year, I decided that I was going to walk to the park and then hike through the woods adjacent to the park. I used to love hiking in the woods when I was a kid.

And it was a beautiful day outside although a bit chilly. When I was about halfway through the park, I noticed that there was a dog walking towards me. And he‘s all alone. I said out loud, “That’s weird“. He must have gotten out of his yard or something. I thought he would run away when I got closer to him, but he didn’t. He walked right up to me and started whining.

He had a collar on. I haven’t had a dog since I was a kid. But he was so friendly that I couldn’t help reaching down and petting him. I looked at the tag on his collar, and it had a phone number on it. And it said, please call this number if you find me. And it said his name was Max.

Luckily, I had brought my cell phone with me. But when I called the phone kept ringing and ringing. Then an answering machine picked up, and it said, “Hi, this is Miriam. I’m not home right now, but please leave a message, and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.”

So, I googled her name and her phone number. And voila, through the magic of the internet, I found her address. And it was only two blocks away. So, I said to the still whining dog, “Come on Max, let’s get you home.“

We arrived at the address in a few moments, but there wasn’t any car in the driveway. But I thought, might as well knock at the door I’m here now. I looked in the window next to the front door, and I didn’t see any sign of life. But hey, they could be upstairs or in the backyard. I banged at the door a few times.

Nothing, so then I called the phone number again, and it just rang and rang. I decided to go out to my car and write a note with my contact information and name so she could call me. When I got back to the door, I crammed the note in the crack between the door and the side of the doorway.

I got into my car and headed home. I kept talking quietly to Max since he had definitely shown signs of recognizing his house, but I couldn’t just leave him there he would just run off again. I decided to call the owner later. When I arrived home, I grabbed Max by his collar and coaxed him out of the car and up to my side door.

I wished I could tie him up out back, but I didn’t want him to break loose and then he would run off into an unfamiliar neighborhood. I had to push him into the kitchen. I closed the door behind me and looked for a bowl to put water in for him. Max lapped it up like he hadn’t drunk anything in a week.

I looked in my fridge, found some lunch meat, and gave it to Max. He swallowed it so fast I thought he might eat my hand next. He walked around downstairs, and when he found the little Persian rug next to the fireplace in the living room, he lay down and immediately fell into a deep sleep. Poor thing. He must be so tired. I felt kind of worn out, too. I decided to take a short nap before I had to start thinking about what to cook for dinner. As I sat down in my easy chair in my bedroom and put my lap blanket across my knees, I dozed off.

I woke up with a start. Something woke me up, but I didn’t know what exactly. Some people feel refreshed after a nap. But I don’t. I feel like I got hit by a Mack truck. My head was pounding, and my eyes felt rusty. At first, I couldn’t remember what I was doing sleeping in the middle of the day. And then I remembered finding the dog. And I yelled, “DOG, DOG.”

But of course, he didn’t answer me, because he was downstairs. I dragged myself out of my easy chair. I walked into my bathroom and threw some cold water on my face. It didn’t help. I dried my face off and went downstairs to check on the dog. When I passed my cell phone in the living room, I didn’t see any missed calls. Oh dear, I thought. What now?

I was about halfway down the steps when I realized I didn’t see the dog. But what shocked me to my core was the fact that my pristine living room looked like a hurricane blew through it. All my couch cushions were randomly tossed in every direction. There was a pile of dog poop in the middle of my expensive new carpet. The curtains were lying in a heap on the floor in the living room and the dining room.

I yelled, “Good lord,” at the top of my lungs. And then I realized with a start that the dog wasn’t in sight. I said out loud, “Where the hell is he?” Nobody answered, so I decided I’d better take a look around the rest of my house. The dining room was a shamble. The chairs were all knocked over. The Japanese flower arrangement I created just last week was no more. It was chewed up and thrown from here to yonder. I started crying. I was so proud of the flower arrangement. It was the best one I had created since I took the class in flower arranging in the adult night classes a few months ago.

I walk slowly towards my kitchen. I was terrified at what I might find there. And then I heard barking coming from the direction of my kitchen. When I walked through the doorway, I looked in every direction. But I didn’t see him. Until I looked up from the floor, and there he was, walking across my marble-topped kitchen counters. He saw me and leaped from the top of the countertop to my shoulders. He hit me with such force that I thought he might have broken my neck. But instead, he just knocked the wind out of me, and I landed on my back on the hard tile floor. He then licked my face from top to bottom. And his breath smelled like death itself. My eyes started to water.

And that is when I heard the kitchen phone ringing. I managed to push Max’s immense weight off me, jumped up, and grabbed the phone. “Hello, hello,” I said, breathlessly.

“Hello, I think you are the woman who found my Max and left me a message on my phone.”

“Yes, yes, I am. Please come and get him. He has all but destroyed my home in only a couple of hours. You have to take him home now. My address is 38 South Popular Street—the second house from the corner. Please come now. I’ll be waiting on the porch with your dog, Max.”

She arrived in about fifteen minutes. And Max and I were sitting on the porch. He was sitting across my lap, and I could hardly move or breathe. Nor could I budge him. He was an immovable force. And I felt like I had aged a year in one day.

A pleasant-looking woman with a short bobbed hairstyle and a big smile on her face said, “Hello, I can’t thank you enough for finding Max and calling me. I have missed him more than I can tell you. He is like my child. I felt so lost without him.” She called him over to her. And he launched himself off me with such force that I could hardly move.

“Oh, Max, I missed you so much.” Then she hugged him and kissed him on his wet nose. “Thank you again. There aren’t words enough to tell you how much I appreciate you bringing Max back to me.”

I smiled and said, “Goodbye.”

She looked at Max, then at me, and said, “Happy New Year to you.”

“I smiled again and said, ‘Yeah, right, Happy New Year. It began with a bang, didn’t it?”

And she turned, and Max walked out of my life, but it would be a long, long time before

I forgot this New Year’s Day, which began with the biggest bang ever.

 

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DOING THE RIGHT THING IS ALWAYS THE RIGHT CHOICE

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Being the odd one out, the weird one isn’t fun at all. For as long as I can remember people have told me I was a little weird. And the truth of the matter is I just never “fit in”.

photo by John S Fllaherty

I didn’t really fit in with my family or at school. I haven’t been able to determine just what it is about me that makes me different from anyone else. But having said that the fact of the matter is I like myself. I’m intelligent and kind and creative and funny. I’m honest to a fault. Maybe that is my main problem I’m honest to a fault. And I decided long ago that people are going to like me or not.

And I’m not going to change who I am to please other people.  Life has thrown me quite a few curveballs. Because of the downturn in the economy I’ve had to change jobs several times in the last couple of years. You know the saying the last one hired, the first one fired. Well, I’m now on my third new job in a year and a half.

One of my many quirks is that I absolutely hate being late. I’m always, always early. So here I am in the still empty parking lot of my new job at Bowman and Sons. I’m an accountant I have a head for numbers. And I’m a perfectionist. In fact, that is how I lost my last position. I was doing my monthly oversight of the company’s books and low and behold I found a discrepancy. And it wasn’t a nickel here and a nickel there it was over a hundred thousand dollars. The funds were moved from one account to another. I checked and re-checked it and it was clearly not just an error. But an intentional attempt to steal money from one account and then it was deposited into another.

I can not tell you the number of times I went over and over these accounts. And no matter how many times I checked the results were always the same. Someone was embezzling.

And now I have only to establish who the embezzler is. And what steps I have to take once I have proof. It’s clear it was someone at the top of the pyramid not at the bottom. It’s clear that whoever was stealing the money had been doing it over a long period of time. And I was going to establish without a doubt who it was and they were going to pay the price for their crime.

The worse aspect of embezzling is that it is a betrayal of trust. And that my friend is something I can not and will not tolerate. I began creating a plan that would establish who the low-life scalawag is. And when I do I will make sure this culprit is punished to the full extent of the law.

I have worked overtime for the past month in my pursuit of this culprit. And I believe I’m very close, very close. And I will only be satisfied if this criminal is charged with a Federal crime. And he or she and will serve a full twenty years in Federal prison. And when and if they survive that they will be fined a minimum of a $50,000.00 fine. I look forward to that day like a kid looks forward to Christmas day.

Eureka, I have finally followed the paper trail, and arrived at my pot of gold so to speak, the crook, the thief. And you will not believe this but it is none other than the vice-president of our firm. And today I’m going to contact the federal authorities with my proof. And then my friends the shit will hit the fan.

I worked through lunch. I received a text stating that the authorities would be arriving at my office before the end of the day. My stomach was doing flip-flops. Why? You may ask. Because one of the original partners of this firm is the embezzler. He is an affable guy and I knew it was going to be a bitter pill to swallow when everyone found out that he has been stealing funds from this company for a long time. Probably since day one.

Probably the majority of people aren’t going to believe he is a thief. But numbers don’t lie. And I don’t lie, I’m incapable of lying. Even if it would benefit me to lie. If someone asks me how they look in their new suit and they look terrible. I tell them, it looks awful on you. So, you can see how some people might prefer that you lie to protect people’s feelings or keep them out of trouble. I can not do that.

I hear some kind of a commotion in the outer offices. I look up and see three men walking toward me. I don’t recognize them. But, I do know a cop when I see them. Even if they’re wearing a three-piece suit. I think at first they were going to walk right up to me. I break out in a sweat. And I think, well this is going to be my last day at this job. I better start looking for a new job.

But they didn’t even glance at me. They walk right past me and toward the main meeting room. The agent taking the lead opens the door and walks right in and asks, “Mr. Edward Robinson my name is Agent Michael Lombardi can you please step outside we need to speak to you privately. “

Mr. Robinson’s face turns bright red. He couldn’t even get a word out. Then I see him gulp and hear him clear his throat and he says, “what the hell is this all about?”

“Mr. Robinson, I’d rather not do that in front of everyone but if you insist I will. Mr. Edward Robinson, you are under suspicion for embezzling. Which is a Federal crime. I’m going to read your rights to you. “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. “

Then Mr. Robinson swallows again and says, “I want to talk to my lawyer. I haven’t committed any crime. This is total crap.”

And that is the last thing I hear him say. Until the day I sit in the courtroom as a witness to testify to his crime of embezzling. And that is all they wrote folks, you do the crime, you do the time.

The next morning I’m called into the head pardner’s office. I have no doubt that they’re going to fire me. The partner’s assistant buzz me on the phone and asks if I would be so kind as to go to the meeting room. As I walk toward the meeting room I feel as if I’m about to show up for my own lynching. When I walk through those double doors I start sweating. And as I step in front of the meeting table all the members of the board stood and clap. I look behind me to see what they are clapping for? And there is no one else, just me.

“What’s happening?” I say to no one in particular.

“You are Mr. Miller. You are. We’re honoring you. Because you did your job. You were not afraid and stood up and did the right thing. You have probably saved our company millions of dollars by following the money trail and contacting the Feds before Mr. Robinson robbed us blind. You are getting a raise and a promotion. And it is our sincere hope that you will continue to serve our company for all the years to come. Congratulations.

And that my friends was the beginning of the rest of my life. And all because I believe that you must, stay focused on your mission, remain steadfast in your pursuit of excellence, and always do the right thing.

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Love Your Neighbors As You Love Your Enemies As They Are Probably One In The Same

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Here it is Monday morning again. The weeks seem to fly by. I’m a writer by trade. I have to produce a weekly story for an online fiction writing site. The problem is that I’m also a procrastinator. And I often wait until the last minute to start writing. Sometimes I have difficulty coming up with an original idea right away. And as the years go by, my ideas seem to flow more slowly each week. 

And this week is no different. I sat at my desk for over three hours, and not a single idea came to mind. It’s eleven-thirty, and I have nothing. My mind is a complete blank. I start to panic. And at that moment, I happen to glance out my office window. And I see one of my neighbors coming out of his garage with his dog on a leash. It looks like he is about to take him for a walk. And then a delivery truck pulls up to his curb and parks. The driver emerges from the truck with a relatively large package in tow. The dog barks at him, and the closer the delivery guy comes, the louder the dog barks.

My neighbor, whose name is Jake tries to calm his dog down. He accidentally loses his grip on the dog leash, and the dog lunges at the UPS guy, and he drops the rather large package. I hear noises indicating that something fragile is in the package. And then Jake trips on the curb and falls flat on his face. Jake’s dog growls at the UPS guy, lunges at his leg, and bites down hard. As if he’s biting down on a raw steak or something. The UPS guy screams out expletives so loud that I can hear every word he says. The dog takes off down the street like a bat out of hell. The UPS guy is a close second. He looks mad as hell, and I fear for the dog’s life.

I can no longer see what is going on with UPS guy and the dog. I run to the front door, open it, and look from right to left. I don’t see either of them right away until I hear UPS guy still yelling profanities at the top of his lungs. Then I spy the dog running into our neighbor’s back yard across the street. I see Jake limping across the street and calling out Tuc a the top of his lungs. That’s the dog’s name, Tennessee Tuc. Now the dog, the UPS driver, and Jake are in the neighbors’ yard across the street.

This is the most excitement I’ve seen in our neighborhood in the five years. That’s how long we have lived here. And nothing, absolutely nothing happens here. It is a small development with twenty houses. One street runs through the development, and three streets end in cull-d-sacs. We rarely see anyone. Everyone has a garage, and they go in and out through their garages. If you’re lucky, you will catch one of the neighbors riding their lawnmowers and cutting their grass during the Spring and Summer. Otherwise, our neighborhood seems deserted. I’m not exaggerating. The neighbors do not talk to one another. Occasionally they will wave, but that is a rare occasion.

The next thing I see is a horse running across the street into our front yard. I guess you might be wondering where a horse came from. Well, believe it or not, there’s a horse farm behind our development. One day one of the horses opened the gate and took a walk across the street. And apparently, and decided to use our yard as a toilet. When I went outside, I found a large pile of horse shit. I walk across the street to the owner’s house and tell him, “one of your horses is in our yard. He doesn’t have a harness on him, so I couldn’t bring him home. He came over and took the horse home. Apparently, the horse’s name was Tina. Can you believe it?

Now, I’m having difficulty hearing or seeing what is going on. Since Jake and the dog and UPS guy are at the horse farm, the horses are becoming upset by the commotion. Tuc is barking, and Jake’s yelling for Tuc, and the UPS guy is screaming like a banshee because he is still mad as hell. Barring any common sense, I cross the street to investigate what is going on at the horse farm. Yeah, I don’t know their name either because I only saw the husband going in and out of his barn. And I never saw his wife at all. Can you believe it?

So, now I’m standing at a distance from the action, but not so far away that I can’t see and hear everything coming down. I feel like I’m watching a movie or something. I have no shame. And there is no end to how nosy I am capable of being. Well, we all have our faults. And this is mine.

Tuc is lunging at the UPS guy who has had about enough of the crap that he’s going to take. He starts picking up random rocks from the farmer’s backyard and propelling them at Tuc. At least I thought they were rocks until I got close enough to smell them. And I realize he’s pitching horse dung at Tuck and Jake. For some reason, I find this to be hysterical, and I start laughing so hard that I almost swallow my tongue.

That is when they all turned in my direction and became aware that I was watching them. Apparently, they don’t think this is an occasion for laughter. Because the next thing I know both Jake and UPS guy are picking up and propelling horse shit at me. I yell out, “Hey, what the hell did I do?”

And I get slammed two more times. And then we all look at each other and start laughing. Jake calls his dog over to him and grabs his collar. And then he turns towards the UPS guy and says, “I’m sorry about my dog biting you. Are you alright? Would you like to come back to my house and we can take a look at your bite? Maybe you would like to sit down and have a cup of coffee or something? You know my wife, Sharon, just made some awesome cornbread yesterday. Maybe you like to have some?”

And that is when I got a good look at Jake’s noggin and saw that he had acquired a huge red lump on his forehead from the header he took on his sidewalk. I had to clap my hand over my mouth because I had the strange and misguided idea that this was somehow really funny. I’m sure Jake wouldn’t agree.

I say, “Hey, I’m sorry for laughing. How about you all come over to my house and we can relax for a bit and calm down? And that is how I made my first couple of friends in the neighborhood. And I decided from now on I’m going to start making a more concerted effort to get to know my neighbors. And hopefully, I wouldn’t have to wait for another brawl to take place before I meet them.

It turns out we all had some things in common. Who would have thought? Not me. So, please take my advice, and don’t wait until people start throwing horse dung at you before introducing yourself to them. Life is too short.

 

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Love Your Neighbors As You Love Your Enemies As They Are Probably One In The Same

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Here it is Monday morning again. The weeks seem to fly by. I’m a writer by trade. I have to produce a weekly story for an online fiction writing site. The problem is that I’m also a procrastinator. And I often wait until the last minute to start writing. Sometimes I have difficulty coming up with an original idea right away. And as the years go by, my ideas seem to flow more slowly each week.

And this week is no different. I sat at my desk for over three hours, and not a single idea came to mind. It’s eleven-thirty, and I have nothing. My mind is a complete blank. I start to panic. And at that moment, I happen to glance out my office window. And I see one of my neighbors coming out of his garage with his dog on a leash. It looks like he is about to take him for a walk. And then a delivery truck pulls up to his curb and parks. The driver emerges from the truck with a relatively large package in tow. The dog barks at him, and the closer the delivery guy comes, the louder the dog barks.

My neighbor, whose name is Jake tries to calm his dog down. He accidentally loses his grip on the dog leash, and the dog lunges at the UPS guy, and he drops the rather large package. I hear noises indicating that something fragile is in the package. And then Jake trips on the curb and falls flat on his face. Jake’s dog growls at the UPS guy, lunges at his leg, and bites down hard. As if he’s biting down on a raw steak or something. The UPS guy screams out expletives so loud that I can hear every word he says. The dog takes off down the street like a bat out of hell. The UPS guy is a close second. He looks mad as hell, and I fear for the dog’s life.

I can no longer see what is going on with UPS guy and the dog. I run to the front door, open it, and look from right to left. I don’t see either of them right away until I hear UPS guy still yelling profanities at the top of his lungs. Then I spy the dog running into our neighbor’s back yard across the street. I see Jake limping across the street and calling out Tuc a the top of his lungs. That’s the dog’s name, Tennessee Tuc. Now the dog, the UPS driver, and Jake are in the neighbors’ yard across the street.

This is the most excitement I’ve seen in our neighborhood in the five years. That’s how long we have lived here. And nothing, absolutely nothing happens here. It is a small development with twenty houses. One street runs through the development, and three streets end in cull-d-sacs. We rarely see anyone. Everyone has a garage, and they go in and out through their garages. If you’re lucky, you will catch one of the neighbors riding their lawnmowers and cutting their grass during the Spring and Summer. Otherwise, our neighborhood seems deserted. I’m not exaggerating. The neighbors do not talk to one another. Occasionally they will wave, but that is a rare occasion.

The next thing I see is a horse running across the street into our front yard. I guess you might be wondering where a horse came from. Well, believe it or not, there’s a horse farm behind our development. One day one of the horses opened the gate and took a walk across the street. And apparently, and decided to use our yard as a toilet. When I went outside, I found a large pile of horse shit. I walk across the street to the owner’s house and tell him, “one of your horses is in our yard. He doesn’t have a harness on him, so I couldn’t bring him home. He came over and took the horse home. Apparently, the horse’s name was Tina. Can you believe it?

Now, I’m having difficulty hearing or seeing what is going on. Since Jake and the dog and UPS guy are at the horse farm, the horses are becoming upset by the commotion. Tuc is barking, and Jake’s yelling for Tuc, and the UPS guy is screaming like a banshee because he is still mad as hell. Barring any common sense, I cross the street to investigate what is going on at the horse farm. Yeah, I don’t know their name either because I only saw the husband going in and out of his barn. And I never saw his wife at all. Can you believe it?

So, now I’m standing at a distance from the action, but not so far away that I can’t see and hear everything coming down. I feel like I’m watching a movie or something. I have no shame. And there is no end to how nosy I am capable of being. Well, we all have our faults. And this is mine.

Tuc is lunging at the UPS guy who has had about enough of the crap that he’s going to take. He starts picking up random rocks from the farmer’s backyard and propelling them at Tuc. At least I thought they were rocks until I got close enough to smell them. And I realize he’s pitching horse dung at Tuck and Jake. For some reason, I find this to be hysterical, and I start laughing so hard that I almost swallow my tongue.

That is when they all turned in my direction and became aware that I was watching them. Apparently, they don’t think this is an occasion for laughter. Because the next thing I know both Jake and UPS guy are picking up and propelling horse shit at me. I yell out, “Hey, what the hell did I do?”

And I get slammed two more times. And then we all look at each other and start laughing. Jake calls his dog over to him and grabs his collar. And then he turns towards the UPS guy and says, “I’m sorry about my dog biting you. Are you alright? Would you like to come back to my house and we can take a look at your bite? Maybe you would like to sit down and have a cup of coffee or something? You know my wife, Sharon, just made some awesome cornbread yesterday. Maybe you like to have some?”

And that is when I got a good look at Jake’s noggin and saw that he had acquired a huge red lump on his forehead from the header he took on his sidewalk. I had to clap my hand over my mouth because I had the strange and misguided idea that this was somehow really funny. I’m sure Jake wouldn’t agree.

I say, “Hey, I’m sorry for laughing. How about you all come over to my house and we can relax for a bit and calm down? And that is how I made my first couple of friends in the neighborhood. And I decided from now on I’m going to start making a more concerted effort to get to know my neighbors. And hopefully, I wouldn’t have to wait for another brawl to take place before I meet them.

It turns out we all had some things in common. Who would have thought? Not me. So, please take my advice, and don’t wait until people start throwing horse dung at you before introducing yourself to them. Life is too short.

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YOUR PURPOSE IN LIFE IS WHAT GIVES YOUR LIFE MEANING

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It has been six months since I signed my final divorce papers were signed. This could be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on whether you want a divorce or not. I was not the one seeking a divorce. It never even occurred to me that I would ever get a divorce. I married for life.

And then, two days before our twenty-fifth anniversary, my husband sent me an email from work. An email, can you believe it? And it said, sorry Cassie, but I can no longer live this lie. I haven’t loved you for a long time. Life is short. I’ve found my true love, and I have filed for divorce. I hope you will find “real” love and happiness in the future. I know this is the best thing for both of us. My lawyer will be contacting you.

Divorce papers

 

My first thought was, oh that Charlie, he’s such a joker. And then I laughed and laughed. I kept laughing up until I decided to go upstairs to our bedroom and check his closet. It was empty except for his old slippers that had a hole in the sole of the right slipper. I must have stared at the empty closet for fifteen minutes. Until I finally realized that if this was one of his jokes, it wasn’t funny at all. Then I grabbed my cell phone and called Charlie’s cell. The message said, phone number disconnected. I called his boss’s office and asked, “did Charlie come to work today? “Oh hello, Cassie,” no, of course not, didn’t Charlie tell you he was transferred to the Milwaukee office. Today is his first day there. But, you knew that already I’m sure.”

“Oh yes, of course, he did. It slipped my mind. I’ve been so busy. He forgot to give me his new cell number could you give me that. I have to tell him something important.”

“Of course, I’ll text it to you right now. However, he might still be on the road. I was surprised that you didn’t show up for his Bon Voyage party yesterday. We missed seeing you. “

“Oh yeah, the Bon Voyage party. I have been running around like a crazy person trying to get ready for the move. Take care, and I’ll talk to you soon.”

I ended the call, and then I plopped down on the floor and cried like a baby for a good hour. I felt like my heart actually broke. It was beating very hard, painfully hard. I thought I might be having a heart attack. I cried until I ran out of tears. I was having trouble breathing. I think I must have passed out for a while.

When I came to my senses, I was splayed out on the floor. I crawled over to the bed and pulled myself up. The little voice inside my head was screaming, “how could you be so stupid? All the nights that Charlie stayed at work ’till midnight. He slept on the couch all night and told me he had work to do on the computer and didn’t want to keep me up. He barely gave me a peck on the cheek when he left to go to work or for a work trip. How could I be so stupid?” Of course, he was having an affair. I just wouldn’t let myself see it.

Charlie and I were high school sweethearts, the prom King, and Queen. We attended the same university together. Sophomore year we moved into an efficiency apartment together. We were inseparable. We were so happy with just the two of us that we decided that we didn’t want children. We agreed that our lives were complete with just him and me. And now here I am twenty-five years later. No Charlie, no kids, just an empty house and me. And that is when it occurred to me that Charlie would probably hire his best friend Kevin Gipson, the most cutthroat divorce lawyer, to represent him, and I would be left with nothing.

Two hours later, I was sitting in the office of Mary Cunningham. She and I attended the University of Penn together. She attended law school and headed her own top-notch firm. And I majored in Biology, and for the past ten years, I have dedicated my life to saving our environment, and it has been an uphill battle the whole time.

And what this tells you is that I am not a person that gives up easily or ever. I will fight up until I breathe my last breath. But because of my commitment to saving the planet, I am often absent or missing in action, as Charlie says at least once a day. He kept telling me that I was an absentee wife. Charlie doesn’t believe a woman’s career is as important as a man’s. I disagreed.

Six months later, we met at Charlie’s lawyer’s office. He sat there looking like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth. He even smiled at me and said, “I hope you are doing well.”

As soon as I looked at him, I felt bile rise in my mouth. I asked if I could get a drink of water. And like magic, it appeared in front of me in less than a minute. I swallowed hard and took a deep breath. At least he didn’t try to extend the conversation. I felt like leaping across the table and choking him. I tried to calm myself. I knew things would only go from bad to worse if I lost it, even for a minute. I looked at him again, and he looked like a total stranger to me. The Charlie I loved and cherished just didn’t exist any longer. I knew I was mourning a marriage that had died a long time ago when neither of us was paying attention.

My lawyer, Mary Cunningham, was having a conversation with Charlie’s lawyer. I couldn’t quite make out what they were saying to each other. I tried to calm myself. I felt like everything that had happened in the last month was out of my control, Charlie’s departure and the end of my marriage. It was as if everything was fast forward, and I had no way of controlling either the direction or how quickly things happened. I felt lost and empty.

After about a half-hour of debate between the two lawyers, they completed an agreement of equitable divorce.  We each had our investments. I can live in the house until we sold it. Then we will divide the proceeds of all our assets except for those in our possession before our marriage. The lawyers shook hands, and so did Charlie and I. It felt so anti-climatic. As if it was a Fourth of July Fireworks Celebration and all the fireworks were duds. Charlie stood next to me and shook my hand and said, “no hard feelings Cassie, I hope you will find happiness in the future. And oh, by the way, Barb and I are going to have a baby. I thought you should hear it from me.”

“A baby, a baby? You told me you never wanted or needed to have children. That the two of would always be enough. “

Well, feelings change. And besides, Barb wants to be a stay-at-home mom with the baby. She feels that women that have children should raise them and not shuttle them off to daycare and babysitters. She believes having a child is a commitment, not a choice.”

“Oh, is that right, Charlie. Well, good luck to you both. I feel as if I’m talking to a stranger. I don’t know what else to say. Congratulations on the baby. My lawyer will contact you regarding the sale of our house; I mean the house. Goodbye.”

Some part of me wanted to reach out and hug him one more time. It all seemed so unreal to me. I felt my lip quiver a bit, and I was afraid I was going to start bawling in front of Charlie and the lawyers. And that’s when Charlie reached out and pulled me close to him and said, “I’m so sorry for hurting you. I didn’t plan any of it. It just happened. I felt like you left me a long, long time ago. I wish only the best for you in whatever your future brings to you.”

I took a deep breath and swallowed, and managed to hug him back. I couldn’t believe it would be for the last time. “Goodbye, Charlie. I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t miss you. I will. I do wish you happiness as well. Goodbye, take care.

And I turned around and shook Mary Cunningham’s hand and said,” I’ll contact you when our house sells. I was just offered the lead position with the Office of Global Change in the Department of State. I believe I will finally be able to make a real difference now.”

“Cassie, I wish you only the best. I’m sorry for all the pain I caused you. I know that you will do great things in your life. And I will be able to say I knew you when.”

Then we shook hands and turned and walked in different directions. I didn’t hear from him again until his baby was born, and he sent me a picture. I congratulated him. And I was truly happy that he had a life that made him truly happy as he seemed to be.

And I was happy in my work, which was always paramount to me. I knew that whatever happened now would make a difference not just to me but to the world at some level. I got ready for bed because tomorrow would bring me more challenges, and I would meet them.

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