Author Archives: Susan

THE SUMMER I MET MY BEST FRIEND

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The ancient house with the wildly overgrown garden is silent and secretive. It has been over fifty years since I lived in this town. I lived on Fellowship Road. My backyard faced Wilke’s backyard.

Old House

I can’t believe that this house is still standing, mostly intact. As I peruse my childhood memories from the early 1950’s, I remember Wilke’s house looked decrepit then. I  simply can not understand how it still exists. Everything around it has changed. Almost all the homes on Poplar Avenue have either been replaced by newer homes or updated and look unrecognizable.

I have such wonderful memories of sitting under our Willow tree on a hot Summer’s day reading a Nancy Drew mystery. Dreaming about my distant future when I too could become a famous female detective and solve crimes.

Occasionally while I was reading, Mrs. Wilkes would beckon me from her yard. There was shrubbery between Wilke’s backyard and ours that served as a fence that divided the two properties. But I could hear her calling out my name, “Sandy come over here. I have something to give you.”

And I would jump up and run over up to the bushes. And she would be standing there with her toothless smile and her shining, green eyes. Her long gray hair would be braided and wrapped around her head. Sometimes she would braid a blue ribbon in her braid. Occasionally she would add a rose or daisy from the garden she had in her backyard. I thought she was beautiful.

On this particular afternoon, she said to me, “Sandy would you do me a favor and taste this chocolate cookie for me? I have trouble chewing them. And I want to make sure they taste good. My grandson, Francis is coming to stay with us for the summer.”

“Sure, I would be happy to taste it.” She held out a cookie to me in her crooked and gnarled hand. I took a huge bite. “I think this is the best cookie I’ve ever had. Francis will like it. I can’t wait to meet Francis.”

I love looking at Mrs. Wilke’s backyard. The Wilkes spend almost all their free time working outside in the garden whenever the weather is warm. On the other side of the hedges, they planted a rose garden that follows a winding path throughout their back yard and continues into their front yard. There are over fifty different kinds and colors of roses. I know because one day, Mrs. Wilkes asked me if I would like to come into her backyard and smell all her beautiful roses. The aroma was overwhelming. And bees and butterflies are always visiting her garden.

On her side of the bushes, there are morning glories that bloom all summer. Early in the morning, I would run out to the bushes in the backyard to see what color the morning glories were that day. And I would pick one and give it to my mother.

My mother would put it in a glass of water and place it on the kitchen window windowsill. They are my favorite flowers. But the most beautiful thing in her garden was an ancient Weeping Willow tree that stood twenty feet taller than their old house. Mrs. Wilkes told me that it was planted by Mr. Wilkes’s grandfather, and it was the oldest tree in our town.

I love visiting Mr. and Mrs. Wilkes because they always had time to listen to me. They would sit quietly while I told them one of my stories. The summer that their grandson Francis spent there was one of the greatest summers I ever had. Francis was about ten years old, and he had bright red hair with freckles sprinkled across his face. His ears stuck out on either side, and the other kids used to make fun of him. He had the same beautiful green eyes that his grandmother had.

I spent the entire morning that Francis was supposed to arrive sitting in my backyard and reading a book. Somehow I know that Francis is going to become my best friend. I keep looking up from my book. it’s a Nancy Drew book called The Clue From The Old Wall. And it was really exciting. Nancy was protecting a treasure that was hidden in an old wall from thieves. I love reading Nancy Drew’s books because girls are hardly ever portrayed as heroes in all the books I read.

I’m having a hard time concentrating because I keep looking over at the Wilke’s to see if their decrepit old pickup truck is pulling into their dirt driveway. Their truck is so old that all the paint had been worn off by the rain, snow, and wind. But somehow I believe it is the most beautiful truck I’ve ever seen.

Finally, after what seems an eternity, I hear them coming down Poplar Avenue. I know it’s them because I could hear their truck before I see it. It backfires every couple of minutes. It sounds like it is on its last legs, but somehow it keeps going just like the Wilkes. They pull into their driveway and slowly descend from their seats. I see a red-headed boy jumping down out of the bed of the truck with a small suitcase. That is being held closed by what looks like an old belt.

I practically jump over the bushes and manage to get scratched from head to toe. But I don’t care. I run through their backyard and up to the front. I’m yelling at the top of my voice, “Francis, your here, your here.” He looks over at me with a surprised look on his face. Because he doesn’t know who I am and how I know his name. I see the Wilke’s beautiful, wrinkled face transformed by their ear-to-ear smiles. I run over to Francis and give him a squeeze around his waist. His face turns red, but he is still smiling.

Mrs. Wilkes says, “Francis, meet your new best friend, Sandy. She lives on the other side of our backyard, and she has been waiting impatiently for you to arrive. Francis looks at me with a shy grin on his face and says,” Hi Sandy, I’m happy to meet you.”

I look at him and say,” we’re going to have so much fun this summer. We can go swimming at the pond, ride bikes and go downtown to the shops. Especially the bakery. I just love donuts, do you? And we can roller skate on the sidewalk. And we can go to the clay pits and dig for fossils. You’ll love it here. I can hardly wait for the 4th of July. We can go downtown and ride our bikes behind the band and throw candy at everyone along Main Street. And you can meet all my other friends that live on Fellowship Road. Not to mention all my friends from school. This is going to be a great summer, you’ll see. I said this all in one breath without stopping. Francis had a huge smile on his face now, and so did the Wilkes. Oh, I almost forgot we can go to Schucks to buy penny candy. I love candy so much. And they have a jute box in there. And we can watch all the teenagers dancing. Oh, I almost forgot, on Saturdays we can go to the movies at the Roxy theater. It’s right on Main Street. It only cost a quarter. I bring my lunch with me, Lebanon Bologna and cheese. I’ll bring two, one for me and one for you.

Mrs. Wilkes laughs out loud and say’s,” doesn’t that sound great, Francis?”

“Oh, I almost forgot, there is also a bus that picks kids up at the front of the police station and takes us to the Riverside skating rink. You can rent skates if you don’t have any and skate all day for fifty cents. I always fall down about a million times. But I don’t care. It’s fun.”

Francis looks at me and then turns around and looks at his grandparents and his eyes are as big as saucers, and his smile is from ear to ear. He says, ‘can we go downtown I would love to see it. I live out in the country, and there isn’t much to see there except blueberry farms.”

“How about bringing your suitcase into the house and getting settled and having something for lunch? I made homemade chicken noodle soup, and I can make grilled cheese sandwiches. You’re invited to Sandy, but go ask your mother first?”

“Oh, I’m sure she won’t care.”
“Go ask first. All the same, Sandy.”
“Alright, I’ll go ask. I’ll be right back.”

And in less than five minutes, I was knocking at their back door. I had never been inside their house before. My house was about fifteen years old. But their house was old, really old. They used to have a farm, but they sold the land to the church when they stopped farming. The church made the land into a parking lot.

And that day was the beginning of the best summer of my whole childhood. Francis and I became best friends. And we kept in touch for many years. And then, in 1969, Francis got drafted into the army, and he was sent to Viet Nam. It was one of the saddest days of my life when I heard he got killed there. His grandparents had passed away years before that. I was always glad they didn’t have to face the loss. After that first summer, he spent every summer until he was about sixteen when the Wilkes passed away one right after the other.

And now, here I am, visiting my old neighborhood, and I swear I can see Mr. and Mrs. Wilkes smiling out at me from their porch. I feel tears pooling up and running down my cheeks. I smile back at them and they wave goodbye to me, and then they’re gone. I turn away and walk past the house where I lived my entire childhood and where strangers live now. And I think I was the luckiest kid in the world. I had a wonderful childhood, especially after Francis and I became best friends. The Wilkes and Francis will always live in my heart and my memory.

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LIFE IS A GIFT, YOU CAN ONLY DO IT ONCE, IF YOU DO IT RIGHT,ONCE IS ENOUGH

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It’s just an ordinary Monday morning. I arrive at my job at Ellis Insurance Company at eight AM sharp. I sit down at my desk and look around the office. It’s unoccupied save for myself. This is extremely odd because Harry and Everett are always sitting at their desks and hard at work when I arrive. Huh, I think that’s weird.

Bank Robbery

I shrug my shoulders and decide to start the coffee and have a look at my schedule while I drink my super-caffeinated brew. I like to start the day with a kick in the keister. If you know what I mean. It looks like it is going to be a busy, busy morning which makes the absents of my bosses even stranger. They’re nose to grindstone types. You know the first ones in the office in the morning and the last to leave. I start looking over the files of the clients that will be arriving shortly. I finish two cups of coffee and feel the call of nature.

When I get up to use the loo, I hear the bell on the door ring and see that it is one of my office mates Martha. She is the bookkeeper. She is a strictly business kind of person. In other words, Martha and I don’t go out on Friday night for a nightcap. She keeps her personal life, personal. We have worked in the same office together for six years and I know nothing about her except that she drives a ten-year-old Honda. That she keeps in tip-top order. She’s tight with her money. She squeezes a penny so tight that I’ve seen Lincoln shed a tear. Yeah, I know that’s an old joke. But it’s a good one.

I tip an imaginary cap at her to say, “hello.” And she raises her chin to me. In Martha talk that’s almost a hug. Then I say, “Martha, did Harry or Everett mention that they would late coming in today?”

“No, they did not but let me check my cell phone to see if they texted me.”

About half a minute later she says, “no nothing.” And then she starts getting ready for the day by booting up her computer. And that’s the last thing she says to me that entire day. Martha is not one to mince words or waste words. I’ve often thought she would have made a great mime. Since she hates to have to resort to talking for any reason.

I was almost finished going through the files I had set aside for this morning when I suddenly realized that Everette and Harry have neither shown up or contacted me or Martha. “Martha have you heard from Everette or Harry yet?”

“No, not yet. I don’t remember them ever being this late without giving us a heads up. It’s probably nothing to worry about. And they’re well aware that we can keep the office running without them. Maybe they just went out for breakfast. You know how they love to eat at the greasy spoon restaurants, the greasier the better.”

“Still I would have thought they would have let us know.” Martha just shrugs her shoulders again and goes back to work. I shoot a text off to Everette since he’s the more organized of the two of them. I decide to continue working until lunch and if we still didn’t hear anything I was going to start contacting the clients they have appointments with this morning and if necessary calling their wives., but that will be the last resort. Harry’s wife is extremely high-strung and jealous. Since Harry has a problem staying away from the ladies. He has a roving eye And Everette’s wife does not like to be bothered by anything going on here at Ellis High-Risk Auto Insurance. In addition, I’m somewhat reluctant to make their families worry without proof that anything is wrong. I set my timer on my cell phone for noon and then I would start my calls.

At twelve o’clock sharp my cell phone alarm goes off and it startles me so much that I let out a little scream. Martha says,” what the hell is wrong with you. You half scared me to death?”

“Sorry Martha, my alarm startled me. I’m going to call Everette and Harry’s wives and see if they know where they are. I’ll try to do it in such a way that they won’t freak out. You know how high-strung they both are.

“High Strung, by that you mean nutty as a couple of fruit cakes? Why are you so worried? They are grown, men. They can take care of themselves.”

“Yeah, I know but still I’m going to check with the wives. I’ll let you know what they say.”

“Don’t bother, I’m sure they’re out to breakfast with new clients or something.”

I called Everette’s wife several times, no answer. She isn’t picking up. I didn’t leave a message because I didn’t want her unduly worried. I just asked her to call me back when she has a chance. Then I called Harry’s wife. Wow, you wouldn’t believe what a nutjob she is. The message on her phone was- I’m busy. Leave me or message or don’t it’s up to you.” She is a real charmer that one.

As I’m eating my lunch which is a thermos of vegetarian vegetable soup and salt-free crackers I contemplate what I should do next. I decided to look at the local news on the internet. There is a news flash. It says local businessmen, Harry and Everette Ellis save the day. And then there is a video of none other than Harry and Everette being clapped on the back by the mayor. What in the world is happening? I yell at the top of my lungs,” Martha, Martha come look at this. Harry and Everette are on the local news. They are heroes.”

“What are you yelling at, I almost peed my pants. And what are you babbling about?”

“I’m not babbling, come here and look at this, Harry and Everette are on the local news. Apparently, they stopped at the bank to make a deposit and there was a bank robbery occurring as they walked in the door. Harry and Everette snuck up behind the robbers and hit them over the heads with money bags. Apparently, Harry was also depositing his daughter’s savings which were ten years of quarters she had been saving. They knocked them out cold. Can you believe it?

“Can you believe it?”

“Honestly, it sounds like a lot of bolognas. It’s probably just a publicity stunt.”
A publicity stunt, what are you talking about? Do you think Harry and Everette set up a fake bank robbery to get publicity? Wow, you are nuttier than I realized. They could go to jail for doing something like that. You have no faith in people at all do you?”

“No, no I don’t why would I? Have you seen the people that come into this office day after day? They are the dregs of humanity, low-life scums.”

“Really that’s what you think of our customers? Then why are you still working here? Why don’t you find another job somewhere else?”

“Maybe, I will. I’m sick of this place.”

I just stare at Martha and shake my head back and forth in disbelief. “Wow, it was better when you kept all your thoughts to yourself. Six years of almost being mute and this is what you finally spew out?” I feel kind of sick to my stomach, I can hardly look at her. You never know who people are and then you do and you wish you didn’t know anything about them.

At that precise moment that Martha enlightened me about who she really was all these years, Harry and Everette burst into the door all smiles. I jump up out of my seat like it’s on fire and run over to them and give them a big smile and a hug. “Our heroes are here. I’m so proud of you two. You two are so brave. You could have gotten yourselves shot.”

“Thanks, Eleanor, I guess we didn’t think about how dangerous it was. We just reacted. The robbers were threatening to shoot the bank tellers and the bank customers. They are all people we have known for years. And there was no way we were going to allow that to happen.

And then Harry whispers, let’s get them and he pointed at the heavy bags of quarters we were carrying. Then the robbers said, you two, get over here and they were shoving all the customers into the bank president’s office. As they pushed us into the office Everette and I swung the money bags and bam we hit them both hard on the head. And they hit the floor like a ton of rocks. And the coin bags split open and poured all over their heads. They didn’t get up again until the police arrived and dragged their sorry asses out into the paddy wagon.”

I hugged them both. Meanwhile, Martha never looks up or says a word to either of them. Harry says, “Hey let’s all go out to lunch and celebrate. What do you say?”

I said, “hell yeah, let’s go to that Japanese restaurant down on Route 38. I love that place.”

“Wait, let me get my purse. Harry and Everette look over at Martha and say, “Hey Martha how about it? Do you want to go out to lunch?”

Martha looks up at them and sees how excited they are and believe it or not she said,

‘Sure, that sounds great.”
I was flabbergasted. I guess it’s never too late for an old cranky old mute to learn a new trick.  That life is a gift that never take for granted.

 

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THE HITCHHIKER

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It‘s the last week that I‘ll be driving to Santa Barbara from Lompoc. Because I’m graduating from college next week. I’ve been living in Lompoc, California for the last three years.

It’s a little over fifty-mile drive from Lompoc to Santa Barbara. But I‘ll miss the breathtaking mountainous landscape. The air is intoxicating. I would even miss the Santa Ana winds.

The Masked Man in a black cape

The people are friendly in California. I’ve made a great many friends while I lived here and I would miss them terribly. I hope that we’ll keep in contact with one another. But I know that our lives would be busy once we started working and move back to our respective home states.

When I was about halfway to Santa Barbara I see a lone figure on the road in the distance. I can’t imagine who would be hitchhiking at this time of the day because there is rarely any traffic. And the chance of getting a ride is unlikely. I rarely pick up hitchhikers because you just never know what might happen. Especially if it is an isolated area like it is here in the mountains. But I thought why not? I could not imagine passing this guy and leaving him to walk nearly fifty miles on foot. I’ll be fine.

As I get closer I realize that the hitchhiker is wearing some kind of long, black cape. And the cape is blowing and flapping in the Santa Anna wind. He looks like he might take off at any minute? Maybe I need to just pass on by him. He’s probably some kind of serial killer or something. I was within thirty feet of him and he turns around and looks straight at me. And that’s when I saw he was also wearing a black mask over his eyes. I almost step on the gas to speed by him. I mean who the hell goes out dressed in a cape and mask in the middle of nowhere?

But my curiosity is greater than my common sense as usual. I can not bear an unsolved mystery. If I don’t find out what this guy is all about it will drive me crazy. I’m the type of guy who is nosy and curious. And I just have to find out what this dude is all about.

So I start to slow down and pull over to the side of the road about five feet behind him and honk my horn. I’m certain this guy knew I was behind him the whole time. He doesn’t stop immediately, but he slows down and turns his head in my direction and stares straight into my eyes. It felt like he was burning holes right through me. I felt my body grow hot than cold. I felt like this was my body telling me that this guy was bad news. I was about to slam my foot down on the gas hard. When suddenly this guy was at the passenger side of the front seat and he pulled the door open and pulled it closed, hard. Then he reaches over and locks the door.

I am almost afraid to look away. In fact, I find I can’t look away even when I try. I feel like my eyes are locked onto his and I can’t turn away from him. And then just as suddenly he turns his head to stare out the front window. He doesn’t say a word to me, no hello, no thanks for picking me up. Nothing, nada. Zip, zero. So I take off the parking brake, and put the car in drive, and take off.

After about twenty minutes of driving in silence, I try to summon up the courage to say something to this freak. I clear my throat about five times and manage to squeak out, “so what’s your story?”

He ignores me completely, it’s like he doesn’t see or hear me. I start to sweat big time. I’m having an adrenaline rush, first the sweats, then chills, and now my throat feels as dry as the Sahara Desert. I decide I will just have to try and calm down. I know it’s my own fault that I found myself in this precarious position. I’m always doing things that all common sense would tell anyone else no way, no how. But not me, I jump in the deepest creek or even worse the shallow water without a second thought. It’s like I have some sort of death wish or something. I’m an impulsive guy. And that’s not a good thing. Ever.

Another ten minutes goes by. I turn my head and look at him and he’s still sitting there as if he has turned into stone. No expression on his face on what I can see of his face. It doesn’t even look like he’s breathing.

I decide to act casual as if this is an ordinary occurrence for me. Like I pick up masked strangers wearing long, black capes every day, all day long. I try again, “so are you headed for Santa Barbara for any reason in particular? I’m going to college there. This is my last week and then I graduate and I’m moving back to the Philadelphia area. Where are you from?”

He doesn’t say anything. This has got to be the weirdest guy I’ve ever met or maybe met isn’t the right word? Maybe encountered is the right word. I hope I don’t have a problem getting rid of him at some point. I pray this doesn’t turn out to be the worse mistake I ever made. “Hey buddy, I’m going to have to stop at the first gas station along the way. Do you want to get out then? I’m kind of in a hurry I have to get to school, exams this week. So, I definitely think you should find another ride when I stop for gas. I look at him, he is like a black hole, no reaction. I start sweating.

I see the gas station is up on the right. “OK, buddy we’re here. This is where you get off. I pull into the gas station and ask the attendant to fill it up. I have to go to the bathroom. So, good luck buddy.” I give him one last look and turn and head toward the men’s room.

As I open the men’s room door I look right and left and don’t see my weird masked hitchhiker. Gone, he’s gone. Good riddance buddy, good luck you’re going to need it I mumble to myself. Maybe, just maybe I have learned something from this experience. I walk toward the gas pumps. And I see nothing. My car is gone and so is my masked companion. Gone with the wind and took my freaking car with him. That is when I realize that I left my keys in the ignition. And I had just used the last of my cash to fill up my gas tank.

I run over to the gas station attendant that waited on me. “Hey did you see that masked man take off with my car?” If I wasn’t on the edge of losing my mind I would have laughed at what the words that just came out of my mouth.

The gas station attendant said, “oh yeah he left about five minutes ago. Was that his car? What’s with the mask and cape? I’m surprised you would hitch a ride with that weirdo. You should be more careful.”

At this point I feel like the top of my head is about to explode. My face is burning up. I scream, “that was my car, he stole my car. And you’re right I should have been more careful. Can I use your telephone to call the police? I don’t have any more money I used it all on the gas.”

“Yes, go ahead. How did he start your car?”

“I left the keys in the car, yes, I’m that stupid.”

I run into the gas station and grab the phone. “Hello, my name is David Stein.” I’m at the Sunoco Station on Route 101 ten miles north of Santa Barbara. My car was just stolen by a masked guy wearing a cape he is driving my car which is a Pontiac Firebird. It is Cherry red. I gave the guy a hitch and when I was using the toilet he stole my car.”

I stood there at the gas station for a good hour and a half waiting. I didn’t know what to do. After a while of standing, I sat down on the curb and covered my eyes. I was afraid that I was going to start crying in front of the gas station attendant and anyone else that happened to be there. I was mentally beating myself up, telling myself over and over how stupid I was. My last week of school, and now this happens. I feel like throwing up.

The gas station attendant comes sauntering over to me, ever so slowly. “Hey buddy, the cops just called, they said they caught your guy. He made it all the way to the outskirts of Santa Barbara and one of the local cops noticed your weirdo in the mask and cape getting out of your red car and arrested the guy after he couldn’t show proof of ownership. And then he checked your plates and it was your car. They arrested the guy and he is on his way to the slammer. They are on their way here to pick you up. You will have to go with them to show proof that the car is yours. And then he turns and walks away.

At this point, I don’t know if I feel like crying or laughing. So I do both. Wow, this day has been one for the books. I plop down on the curb again and wait and wait. Finally, the cops show up. I walk over to the car and say, “yeah, hi. I’m the guy whose car got stolen by a guy with a black mask and cape on? Is my car alright?”

The two cops look like they were on the verge of laughing at me. But hold it back. Probably because they could see the tears staining my dirty face. “Get in the back buddy, and we’ll take you to the station. Do you have proof of ownership?”

“Yes, it’s in my wallet.”
“You know you shouldn’t have picked up that weirdo, right? And you should never have left the keys in the car with a hitchhiker was in the back while you went to the bathroom, right?”

“Yes, I do. It was a mistake. Believe me, I have learned my lesson. Never trust a man wearing a mask and a cape. And who is that masked man, do you know?”

“Yes, we know who he is. His name is Michael Splain. He escaped from the Federal Penitentiary in Lompoc. They can’t explain where he got the mask and cape but they did say he was a total nut job and you’re lucky that he didn’t do more than steal your car.”

“Yeah, I’m lucky. Lucky he didn’t kill me. I know I will never pick up another hitchhiker as long as I live.”

“Ok let’s go we’ll take you to the impound lot and you can get your car back. They might charge you for having it there if it stays there overnight so we better get going.”

I jump in the back seat of the patrol car. And my internal dialogue begins, when will you ever learn to not trust everyone you meet, stop being a sucker, stop being a bleeding heart?  And on and on and on.

When we arrive at the impound the cop that talks to me says,  “so you’re the guy that got robbed by the masked marauder?”

I hang my head down. I realize that I am never going to hear the end of this episode of my life and didn’t know how I would top it. But I knew that somehow, someday I would.

 

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HAPPY ENDINGS COMES IN ALL DIFFERENT SIZES AND SHAPES

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Life hasn’t always been a piece of cake for me. My mother was fifteen when she had me and gave me up since she was in no way ready to be a mother since she couldn’t even take care of herself.

Children playing in the yard.

It turns out I was a colicky baby and not your typical adorable baby that everyone falls in love with at first sight. It seems as if my mother never had prenatal care when she was pregnant with me and didn’t take care of herself let alone her unborn child. In fact, she hid her pregnancy from her family altogether.

When my mother went into labor she didn’t tell anyone and she gave birth to me with the help of her best friend. After I was born they dropped me off at the local hospital emergency room and she never looked back or gave me one thought after that. I was just a mistake in a long line of mistakes that she made throughout her messed up life.

As I was saying she left me at the emergency room. From there I was taken to the preemie room in the maternity ward. I’m sure the nursing staff did their best to take care of me. Apparently, I was not a good sleeper nor did I seem interested in drinking the formula they gave me. I cried non-stop morning, noon, and all night. At some point, they felt I was in stable condition and I was put in the care of the state and went to a foster care home. Where I lived for less than a year. Apparently, my inability to ever sleep through the night and screaming like a banshee made it difficult for the foster parents and kids to sleep through the night.

As a result, I was tossed from one foster home to another. No one seems to have any interest in adopting me. I felt alone in the world and rejected. But that all changed when I was sent to live with a foster family whose last name was Corsican. They were truly the first kind and loving people I had ever known. They never made negative comments about how I looked.

Oh, I forgot to mention that apparently my birth mother or father or some distant forgotten relation to one of them had the biggest nose on the face of the planet and I inherited it. How lucky am I? I spent almost my entire childhood being called names like honker, schnoz, horse, beak, snout, Gonzo. Apparently one of the kids who called me Gonzo thought I looked like one of the muppets on TV.

Anyway the day my social worker came and picked me up and brought me to the Corsican’s house was the luckiest day of my life. As soon as we arrived at their house I knew life was looking up for me. The kids were running and playing all over the yard.

They were laughing and calling out each other’s names. Apparently playing some kind of game I was unfamiliar with. As soon as the social worker pulls up kids start running towards the car. I mentally prepare myself for the onslaught of name-calling.

All the kids came running up to the car window. And they all talk at the same time. “Hi, you must be Stevie we have been waiting all day for you to show up. Come on out and we’ll show you your room and stuff.”

“Go on Stevie, I’ll bring your suitcase in and I have to talk to the Corsicans.”

I open the door and get out of the car and someone grabs my arm and says,” you can be on my team. And just like that, I met my best friend, and it turns out her name was Billie Jean. That’s right my best friend is a girl.”

My social worker walks up to the front door and goes in to speak to the foster mom and says,” this is the last opportunity for Stevie in foster care. He has been moved from one placement to another. He has problems falling to sleep and staying asleep. He has been rejected by his own mother and her extended family. We have no clue who his father is. What I’m saying is this is his last chance to have any kind of normal life. If this fails he will be headed to a state residential treatment program and that rarely has a good ending.”

Mrs. Corsican takes a step back and says all in one breath. “Stevie will not fail here. I’ve dealt with kids with much worse backgrounds than he has had. Kids that grow up feeling rejected time and again develop trust issues with adults. I promise you that I and all the kids that live here will come to love and accept Stevie. I will create a plan to help him start sleeping better. I have no doubt that he will sleep better when he feels he is loved and accepted and that he has a place to live for as long as he needs it. “

“Thank you I knew this would be the solution for Stevie. Please keep me up to date with his progress. Feel free to contact me at any time. I mean that. I’m going to say so long to Stevie but please call me if you need my assistance in any way.

I walk back down the sidewalk and call out, “Stevie I’m leaving now. You have my phone number if you ever need to call me about anything.” Stevie gives me a wave and keeps playing with the other kids. My heart feels a little lighter now. I’m certain that this is the home that Stevie will have for the rest of his childhood and perhaps the family that he deserved his entire life. The family that loves and accepts one another regardless of how they look, the clothes they wear.  Or where they came from. This is the unconditional love that all children deserve. I smile all the way to the car and the ride back to my office. This is what a happy ending looks like for kids like Stevie.

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THAT WHICH DOESN’T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER

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Lizbeth walks slowly into the classroom with her head down. Her blond hair hung limply down over her face. Mrs. Anderson says, “Lizbeth please come over to my desk for a moment I have some school supplies and textbooks for you.”

Lizbeth shuffles over to Mrs. Anderson’s desk keeping her head low. “I would like to introduce you to the class since you are new here. Lizbeth quietly shakes her head back and forth. But Mrs. Anderson isn’t looking at her at that moment and doesn’t realize how uncomfortable Lizbeth is when attention is on her. “Class, please quiet down for a moment I would like to introduce a new student to you. This is Lizbeth Hess her family just moved to our town recently and she doesn’t know anyone here. I would like you to offer Lizbeth a warm welcome.”

Burning House

“Lizbeth, would you like to introduce yourself to the class and tell us a little bit about yourself?”

Lizbeth shakes her head more vehemently. But Mrs. Anderson isn’t looking at her she’s reprimanding Joey Lombardi. He was imitating how Lizbeth was standing with her head down and shaking her head no. All the kids are laughing at him but Lizbeth thinks that they are laughing at her and tears start running down her face onto the linoleum floor. She doesn’t say a word.

“Well, I guess Lizbeth is feeling a little shy today so I’ll introduce her. Lizbeth’s family just moved to our town recently as I mentioned a moment ago. Unfortunately, there was a fire at Lizbeth’s old house and her family lost everything. Lizbeth suffered some burns before she was able to escape the fire in her house. Fortunately Mr. Goodwin our mayor found out about Lizbeth’s family’s house burning down and offered to let them live in one of the houses he rents out. So now she’s going to attend our school. How about everyone giving Lizbeth a warm welcome by clapping.”

The kids all looked at Lizbeth and then at each other and a couple of kids start to clap and then the rest follow. Lizbeth doesn’t look up. If anything it looks as if she’s shrinking right before their eyes.

That is when Mrs. Anderson finally realizes that Lizbeth is very uncomfortable standing in front of the class and being the center of attention. And as she looks at Elizabeth she realizes that Elizabeth is wearing a dress that is much too small for her and her shoes are too big. And to make things worse she realizes that Lizbeth’s burns must be extremely painful. She realizes she has made an error in judgment by telling the class about Elizabeth while she was standing in front of the class.

Mrs. Anderson looks across the class and calls out, “Dolores Rafferty could you come up to my desk for a moment?”

Dolores looks at Mrs. Anderson and wonders what she could have done wrong. She jumps up from her chair nearly knocking it over. All the kids start laughing. And Dolores all but runs up to the teacher’s desk. “Yes, Mrs. Anderson. Did I do something wrong?” Mrs. Anderson leans down and says in a low tone so no one else can hear her, “What? No of course not Dolores. But I was wondering if you be so kind as to take Lizbeth back to her desk and if for the next week you would be so kind as to show Lizbeth around the school and introduce her to some of the other children. Just until she feels more at ease in her new surroundings?”

“What? Sure I can do that. I remember how lonely I felt when my family moved here from New Jersey and I didn’t know anyone. I can’t imagine how scared she must be because she lost her house and all her stuff.”

Mrs. Anderson looks over at Dolores and wonders how this young girl is so perceptive and she wishes she had done the same. “Thank you, Dolores. I’m sure you will be a good friend to her.”

Dolores walks over to Lizbeth and takes her hand and whispers,” Lizbeth my name is Dolores and I’ll show you where you are going to sit, and for the rest of the week if you would like you can walk with me until you get to know the school and your way around.”

Lizbeth slowly lifts her face up and looks at Dolores and quietly says, OK.” And then she takes Dolores’ hand in hers, and Dolores leads her to her new desk which just so happens to be next to hers. Lizbeth sits down and lifts up the desktop and sees that her school books are inside and there are pens and pencils, a ruler, and school books in there as well.

Mrs. Anderson says, “alright class please take out your history books and open up to page 127. And Martin will you read the first page to the class please?”

Martin takes a deep breath and sighs heavily. And opens up his history book to page 127 and begins to read in a monotonous voice. “Martin, could you please put some feeling into your reading so that the whole class doesn’t fall asleep while you are reading?”

Everyone laughs including Martin and even Lizbeth has a little smile on her face. The rest of the morning passes quickly and the lunch bell rings and Mrs. Anderson says,” alright class please put your books away and take out your lunches. Aisle one please start getting in line to go to lunch and so on. Please do not push or shove anyone and then proceed quietly to the lunchroom. When you get to the lunchroom please quietly take your seats. Keep all the talking at your lunch tables to a low roar. After lunch take it easy in the play yard. I don’t want anyone to get injured. I’ll see you back here at 12:30 PM on the dot. Understood?:

Everyone said in unison,” yes Mrs. Anderson. Except for Joel the class clown. After everyone says, “yes Mrs. Anderson, in a high squeaky voice, “Yes indeedy.” He likes to say something different every time the class was dismissed for lunch. The class always started laughing and didn’t stop laughing until they arrived outside the lunchroom and then quieted down. As if they hadn’t been making a racket the whole time. Mrs. Anderson never reacts to her class’s shenanigans as she thought it was better to finish the morning on a high note and it was harmless. Some of the other teachers didn’t agree with her. But no one had the nerve to tell her that to her face. Because Mrs. Anderson could be quite fierce when provoked.

Everyone sat down quietly in the lunchroom and begin eating their lunch. Some of the students trade lunches because their mothers pack the same lunch for them every day. And some of the kids bought their lunch. Lizbeth didn’t have a lunch bag with her and she didn’t have any money in her lunch account yet.

Dolores says,” Lizbeth would you please eat one half of my lunch for me? My mother always packs too much for me to eat. And she gets mad if I don’t eat it. It’s only a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and she gave me a huge piece of her chocolate cake and I can’t eat all of it. What do you say?”

Lizbeth looks at Dolores and says quietly,” peanut butter and jelly and chocolate cake are my favorite.”

“That’s great Lizbeth, you’re saving my life. Otherwise, my mother would be ranting and raving about me eating like a bird again.”

Lizbeth and Dolores eat quietly until three girls come over to the table and say, “Dolores we heard that there’s a new girl at your table. So we came over to meet her. Dolores said,” oh yes, this is Lizbeth she just moved to town recently and she doesn’t know anybody around here. So I’m showing her around. Lizbeth this is Marty, Kathy and the string bean is Anne Marie.”

The three smiling girls take a look at Lizbeth and their expressions change from a smile to a shocked look. Anne Marie says, “Hi Lizbeth it’s so nice to meet you. It’s so great getting a new kid here. We have all been going to school together since first grade. So now we can hear some new stories. Where are you from?”

“I lived in the next town over, Lenola.”

“Oh, how come you moved here?”

Lizbeth looks down at the table and doesn’t say anything right away. “Then she mumbles that “we had a fire in our house and couldn’t live there anymore. The three girls look at her and then at each other. “Anne Marie says, “oh that’s terrible did you lose all your clothes and stuff?”

Dolores gives Anne Marie a look that meant shut up. Lizbeth puts her head down again. And says in a low tone,” yes, everything.”

Marty, Kathy, and Anne Marie look at each other, and then Marty says, “Hey you look like you wear a size smaller than I do, would you like to come over to my house today after school and see if you could take some of the clothes off my hands that don’t fit me. You would be doing me a favor because my mother has been nagging me to clean out my closets and dresser of clothes that are too small. What do you say, Lizbeth?”

Ann Marie and Kathy and Dolores say, “Hey I was just about to say that too. How about it?”

Lizbeth looks at the four girls and gives them a big smile, “really, I would love to help you out and besides most of the clothes that Mr. Goodwin gave me are way too small or way too big.”

“Great, let’s do it. You can come to my house first, and then Marty and Kathy and Dolores’ house. You know what I just noticed Lizbeth you have beautiful blond hair. I always wanted blond hair but mine is just boring brown.”

Lizbeth looks at the four girls and they look back at her and what they see isn’t a girl who’s burned but a girl who needed friends and they were the lucky ones.

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INSOMNIA

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If you’ve ever suffered from insomnia even for a short time you will understand how I feel. And why what happened on that particular night transpired. I have to say that I have lived my entire life sleep-deprived. My mother told me long ago when I was a baby and a young child, she had difficulty getting me to go to bed, fall asleep and stay asleep the entire night.

Nightmare Monster

Nightmare Monster

She told me sometimes it took her an hour to get me to go to bed and stay there. That I would get up many times and ask for water, or tell her I was hungry or that I had to go to the bathroom. Sometimes even after my parents and older siblings were all fast asleep, she would be awakened by me standing next to her bed and saying,” I can’t fall asleep or I had a terrible nightmare. Or she would get up to go to the bathroom sometime after midnight and find me lying on the floor eyes wide open. She would say,” Ellie why are you out of bed?” You need to go back to your room and go to sleep you have to go to school in the morning and I have to go to work. Please, please go back to your room and get some sleep.”

My father worked the night shift and I rarely saw him. I wouldn’t dare go into my parent’s room when he was home at night. He would yell, “what is that kid doing in our room again, can’t you make her stay in her bed?”  My mother said, “I did, she has trouble sleeping and she becomes frightened when she is lying awake in the dark. She has a vivid imagination.

“Put her to bed and make her stay there or I’ll lock her in there and make her sorry she doesn’t stay in her room at night.”

My father had a short fuse and I had no doubt that he would make me sorry for not staying in bed.

“Come on Ellie let’s go back to your room and I will sit with you until you fall asleep.” And as tired as she must have been she would come and sit by my bed and sing quietly next to me until I drifted off to sleep. She called it the Land of Nod.

” The Land of Nod is the reason that I didn’t want to fall asleep because I knew only too well that I didn’t want to go there again. Because it is a place where nightmares begin.

But the horrors that take place there don’t always end when you open up your eyes. Most people don’t hear the voices that I hear when I return from the Land of Nod. I can still see the monsters that dwell there and remember the horrific things they told me.

The Land of Nod is not the peaceful place you might imagine it to be. It is a land of tormented exile rather than a place of peaceful sleep. Some lost souls become vanquished to this place of eternal nightmares. They cannot get out and return to their waking life. They are possessed by the evil that dwells there.

One night I lay down on my bed and the next thing I know I‘m climbing up a rusty metal winding staircase on the side of an ancient Victorian house. As I climb upward toward the roof, I can’t see any end to the ladder. The roof seems to move farther and farther away instead of closer. It begins to rain and become extremely windy. The rain is hitting me hard. It feels like bullets are pelleting me. The staircase becomes extremely slippery. It begins to sway from the left to the right and back again. It bangs against the side of the old house over and over. I fight my way up the stairs to the roof.

Finally. I reach the roof and as I look up, I see what I can only describe as a face full of hatred and disgust. There is steam rising from its body. I almost lose my grip on the ladder in an effort to remove myself from the creature’s presence. He thrust out his scaled and crusty claw to grab me. My terror at the thought of this monster touching me is greater than my fear of falling from the roof. I let go and just as I was about to slam to the ground and no doubt die, I wake up with a start in a cold and clammy sweat.

I reluctantly open my eyes one at a time. Terrified at where I might be. I realize I’m in my room. I’m about to crawl out of my bed when I hear my closet door creaking open. Before my eyes, I see the scaley face and toothy grin of the creature that has been waiting for me on the roof. The last thing I remember seeing is the awful vision of the creature licking his lips in anticipation of devouring me.

I close my eyes tightly and hold my breath. Fearing what terrible event might take place. I wait for what seems an eternity. Finally, I open my eyes and stare across the room and I see nothing except that my closet door is wide open. There are huge reptilian footprints on the carpet. I let out a scream so loud that both my father and mother come running into my room.

“Dear god Helen what is wrong with this child? Why can’t she go to sleep and stay asleep until morning. Why is she always waking up every night screaming like a banshee?”

“I don’t know Henry. She’s a child. Children have highly active imaginations. They have nightmares. What do you expect me to do? I give her a warm bath before bed. I give her warm milk to help her sleep. I sit with her for hours at night. Sometimes she seems fine when I first put her to bed. And then in about fifteen or twenty minutes, she starts twitching and moaning. And then before you know it, she starts screaming. It’s very hard to wake her up then. I have to really shake her hard. It’s like the nightmares have a tight grip on her. It’s scary. Sometimes I’m afraid that I won’t be able to wake her up and she is a prisoner to these horrible nightmares she has.”

“Well Helen, you have got to do something. How can I go to work and do my job when I never get a decent night’s sleep? You are going to have to take her to the doctors and see if there is anything they can do. I’m exhausted.”

“Henry we’re all exhausted. I’ll see if the pediatrician can offer some kind of solution or if he can refer me to a therapist of some kind who can help her.”

“Do it tomorrow, Helen, I’m at the end of my rope. Do you understand?”

“Yes Henry, I understand. Tomorrow.”

The next day my mother says to me, “Ellie I made an appointment for you to go to the doctor.”

“No, I don’t want to go to the doctor, I hate when she gives me shots. I don’t want to, no.”

“Ellie, I’m sorry but you are going. He won’t be giving you any shots. This is a different kind of doctor. He is the kind of doctor that just talks to you to see if anything is troubling you or making you upset. I want you to talk to him about the problems you have sleeping and the nightmares you have all the time. He is just going to listen to you that’s all. And then he will talk to you and me and tell us what he thinks is causing your sleep problems and try to make it better. Do you understand?”

“Yes, but I can’t tell him about the Land of Nod.”

“The Land of Nod?”

“Yes, you told me that I go to the Land of Nod when I go to sleep. It is terrible there. There are horrible monsters that live there. And they try to kill me and eat me. Sometimes they come back with me when I wake up to my room and they try to kill me. They hide in my closet.”

“Ellie, the Land of Nod isn’t a place. It’s just an expression for going to sleep. Anything that you see in your dreams is just your imagination at work. We all have nightmares sometimes if we go to sleep and we are overtired or had a bad day or something upsetting happens before we go to bed. I’m sure the doctor will tell you the same. How about you go and get dressed and wash your face. Then come into the kitchen and I’ll make you some hot oatmeal. I know you love that.”

“Ok mom, I’ll get dressed and come eat breakfast.”

After breakfast, I went into the kitchen and my mother said “Ellie please go brush your teeth and then put on your jacket. I don’t want to be late.”

“Ok mom, I’ll be right back.”

My mother didn’t talk much on the ride to the doctor’s office. I kept my fingers crossed and hope the doctor wouldn’t give me a needle. Cause I hate needles.

“Ellie, we’re almost there. Don’t worry she’s just going to talk to you. All you have to do is answer his questions truthfully.”

“Ok mom, I will.”

A few minutes later we got to the doctor’s office and we were told to have a seat until we were called in to talk to the doctors. It seemed like we sat there forever. And then a pretty lady came out and said Ellie can you come with me?’

My mom nodded her head and said, “go on Ellie everything is going to be alright, I promise.”

The pretty lady said, “here, we are please just have a seat and Dr. Robbins will be right in.”

I sat there and sat there for a long, long time. And then a short chubby old man came in. He was wearing his going to church clothes. He had a long black and grey beard. He said.” hello, miss Elie. I’m Doctor Robbins and we are just going to have a little talk about the trouble you have sleeping. Can you tell me about that?”

I looked at him and he sat and waited for me to say something. I couldn’t decide if I should tell him about the Land of Nod or not. But my mother said that he was going to help me sleep better and I was really tired. “Ok, I’m afraid to fall asleep at night because of what happens after I fall asleep. I’m afraid to go to the Land of Nod, and what happens there and because sometimes the monsters are going to hurt me. And sometimes when I wake up in my bed the monsters are in my room.”

“The Land of Nod? What is that, Ellie?”

“Oh, that’s what my mom calls the place you go when you fall asleep.”

“What do you see there Ellie? “

“There are monsters, they are really scary they usually have been long, sharp teeth and long claws. Sometimes they can fly. They tell me that they are going to kill me or my mom and dad.”

“Oh, that sounds really scary. What happens when you wake up Ellie?”

“Mostly I wake up in my bed because my mom comes in and shakes me cause I was crying or screaming in my sleep and wake my dad up and he gets really mad at me when I do that. Cause he has to go to work and he’s always tired. I don’t want to wake him up so I try to keep myself awake all night so I won’t wake up screaming and getting my dad mad.”

“Does anything else happen after you wake up?”
I look at the doctor really hard because I wanted to be sure I should tell him about the monsters coming back from the Land of Nod with me. His face looks like he really wants me to tell him the truth. “Yes, sometimes the monsters come back with me to my room sometimes they hide under the bed, and sometimes they are hiding in my closet to kill me or my mom and dad.”

“Ellie you must be really scared when you see that. Did you ever tell your Mom and Dad that?”

“I did tell my mom once but she didn’t believe me so I don’t tell her anymore. She told me it was just a nightmare and not real. But it is, I can feel the monster’s breath on my face and it smells like burning. Sometimes it spits at me and I have to go in and wash my face because it burns. I really scream when that happens and that’s when I wake my mom and dad up.”

“Alright Ellie, I think I understand now. I’m going to go talk to your mom and then she will be able to take you home. Just sit here quietly for a few minutes.

The doctor asks his assistant to call Ellie’s mother into his office. She arrived looking exhausted with dark circles under her eyes and a worried expression on her face.”

“Well doctor, what do you think is going on with Ellie?”

“Mrs. Lipton what is happening to Ellie and it’s not unusual for this to happen to children in her developmental stage is that she is having Night Terrors. Well, the best description of a Night Terror is that is a vivid dream. Sometimes it can be a result of some trauma, but most often it is an inherited trait that might run in your family. Did you and anyone in your family have night terrors that you know of Mrs. Lipton?”

“Not in my family as far as I know of doctor. But I don’t know about my husband’s family. Is there anything you can tell me to do because my husband isn’t getting enough sleep because of being woken up at night.

“Well yes, a few things making sure she is relaxed and sleepy when she goes to bed. Perhaps giving her a hot bath might help. Try and reassure her that she just needs to quiet herself and think of things that make her happy. Reassure her that she is loved. And perhaps sit by her bed until she falls asleep. Ultimately, she will outgrow this behavior as she gets older. About 40 percent of children have these night terrors. Do not wake her up when she is having one. Sometimes children can act out if that happens. It is not uncommon for children to sleepwalk while they are having a night terror.”

“Really, oh dear. That’s is scary.”

“As I said as her nervous system becomes fully developed these dreams will resolve themselves. Try to have a ritual before she retires for the night. Taking a bath, having some warm milk. Saying her prayers if you do that. And finally kissing her good night and she closes her eyes and waiting for her to fall asleep. If this doesn’t work, we will consider sending her to a sleep lab. Call me and let me know how she is doing, alright?

“Yes, I understand Doctor thanks for your help. I hope it works. I will keep in touch.”

“Alright my nurse will be bringing Ellie out to the waiting room now. Goodbye.”

Ellie followed the nurse out to the waiting room. She saw her mom sitting there and said, “can we go now. I’m really tired?”

“Yes let’s go home and see what we can have for lunch shall we. What would you like Ellie?”

“Oh, vegetable soup and a grilled cheese sandwich. That’s my favorite.”

“That’s what it will be then. As they drove towards home. Ellie’s mother could see her eyes kept closing and then she saw Ellie was asleep. Ellie’s mom thought, oh what a relief. She continued on her way home without any incident and suddenly she heard a weird growling noise from the back seat. She thought it was the car backfiring at first and then she realized it was a low growling. So, she looked in the rear-view mirror and she glanced at Ellie who was now wide awake and she had her mouth wide opened in a silent scream. The growling noise got louder and she saw something so terrifying that her mind wanted to block it out. But it couldn’t there was a creature with a long snout full of huge fangs and it was above Ellie’s head looking as if it was about to bite off Ellie’s head.

Helen thought she must be losing her mind. How could she be seeing this living nightmare? She kept staring at it, the huge orange, bulging eyes, the horns that look like they could kill someone with ease. And then it open’s its mouth wide and spewed forth the most acrid, decaying smell she had ever experienced. And that is when Helen was awakened by a loud noise. Her car had just slammed into the median strip in the middle of the highway. Ellen’s eyes opened and she realized she had fallen to sleep at the wheel and crashed her car. At that moment she remembered from a long-buried memory that she had experienced night terrors as a child and Ellie must have inherited it from her. And then the lights went out when she lost consciousness. The next thing she was aware of was when she woke up in an ambulance with her daughter lying beside her on a gurney. She was banged up and bruised but alive.

Helen and Ellie heard a calming voice saying, “you are going to be alright. We are on our way to the emergency room. Everything is going to be alright. Try to rest now.”

Helen looked at Ellie looked at one another tears ran down their cheeks. Knowing that they would never have a peaceful sleep again.

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GROWING UP IS HARD TO DO

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The subway stations are all but abandoned save for a few brave souls that kept going to work during the first year after the pandemic started. Fortunately, I was able to work from home for that first lonely year. I live in a three-story walkup 120 square foot studio apartment on Locust Street in Philadelphia. It’s located right next to Rittenhouse Square. I love this part of the city, close to transportation, restaurants, and museums.

Rittenhouse Square- Philadelphia, Pa

If you ever want to know what it’s like living in a prison cell you are welcome to stop by and see my “apartment.” I just graduated from Temple University last year and I was hired to work as a graphic designer for a packaging company. Which is great. On the other hand, the pay isn’t great, and also not to mention the lack of benefits the first year.

I have always considered myself something of a loner. Spending your workday alone is almost a given in my business. Unless you are working in a corporation that has teams working on design projects. Unfortunately, I was hired by a start-up company that only has three employees and the owners. So, you have to be a jack of all trades here. And you can expect to work a lot of overtime.

Before I graduated from Temple with my MA I was living at home with my parents and younger brother and commuting from New Jersey daily. That got really old after a while because most days my classes were scheduled first thing in the morning and then a class after dinner. So, I had to commute back and forth a couple of times a day. Which was expensive because I had to pay bridge tolls to cross the bridge twice a day.

That’s why I decided to get an apartment in Philly as soon as I got a job. Luckily, I got hired right after graduation. It took me almost a month to find an affordable apartment. When I first went to see it, I didn’t realize just how small it was because it was empty. And I was so excited about finding an available and affordable place to live I didn’t really think about how really tiny it was. The fact that it had a mini-fridge, no stove, just a toaster oven. But I didn’t really think about those things until the day I moved in. When I realize there was no way in hell that my double bed is going to fit.

My dad takes one look at the place and says,” good lord you might have mentioned how small this place is. Your furniture isn’t going to fit in here, nowhere, no how, no way. Let’s take this all back home and go take a look at IKEA has to offer in way of furniture that is convertible from a bed to a couch and a small desk and chair that you can eat on and also use as a work desk. Maybe I can build you a drafting table that flips up and out of the way on the wall. And did you realize there’s only one closet for storage? I don’t know where you’re going to put your bike. Maybe I can hang hooks from the ceiling for the bike? How about if right now you really take a good look around and see what has to stay and what has to go back home to the garage?”

I look at my dad and I really want to disagree with him. But as I take a really close look around, I realize he’s absolutely right. So, I keep my mouth shut. Then I start going through the boxes we already brought in and take only the essential items. Everything else goes back in the boxes to return to my old house. I start making a list in my head about what I definitely need to keep. We end up taking about two-thirds of my stuff back home. And then we make a trip to IKEA. I buy a small convertible couch/bed. and some storage shelves. I guess I not going to be eating as I used to since I’ll have to do all my cooking in a toaster oven.

Not to mention that I’m going to be washing my dishes and my face and hands in the kitchen sink since there isn’t a sink in the bathroom. Only a shower that looks like a tall skinny coffin and a toilet. I‘m going to have to get food for one or two days at a time. Since I only had a mini-fridge. I bought the smallest microwave I could find. I cross my fingers and hope it will fit on the three-foot countertop.

I’m not as stoked as I was early this morning but still, I’m finally on my way to becoming a working artist in my own place. Even if it’s an apartment made for the seven dwarfs or something. My dad and I bring all the stuff up the three flights of stairs. We’re both exhausted by the end of the day. Billy how about coming home for dinner and then I’ll give you a lift back here tomorrow morning. And you can get a good meal and sleep in a comfortable bed?”

I want to say no, but I am exhausted and hungry. “OK, sure that would be great. I’m starving. Do you know what Mom’s making for dinner?”

“Oh, she told me she was making tortellini and meatballs tonight. Isn’t that one of your favorites?”

“Yeah, yeah it is.” And so, I stay over for the second last night at my childhood home before I move into my own place. I have to admit I’m really going to miss my mother’s cooking. I sleep like a log.

I hear my mom calling me from downstairs, “Billy breakfast is ready. I made your favorite eggs over easy and crispy bacon.” I realize I’m going to miss more than my mother’s cooking. I’m going to miss my mother. You probably won’t believe this but for a moment I have to fight back the tears. I’ll deny it if you ever tell anyone I said that. But my parents are the best, especially my mom. The smell of the bacon frying calls me downstairs and I just throw on yesterday’s shirt and pants, dirty socks, and old sneakers. I consider washing my face but decide it’s not worth the trouble since I’ll be sweaty and dirty in a couple of hours.

I swallow the last bite of a bacon and egg sandwich and sigh. “That was great Mom. It really hit the spot.” My mom comes over and gives me a hug. And once again I feel the urge to start crying. Really, what the hell is happening to me? I haven’t cried since I was in middle school and wasn’t picked to be on the soccer team. My day looks at me and my mom and I saw him swallow hard. “Ok, Ok that’s enough of that. We have a lot of work to do today. Marion, he isn’t going to be that far away, just over the Ben Franklin Bridge. We can see him anytime we want to.”

I look at my dad and say, “What, wait you have to call me before you show up. What if I have friends over or a girlfriend?”

“Ok, I was just making a point so your mother wouldn’t be so upset.”

We all look at each other and then I and my dad look down at the floor. My dad says, “Let’s be on our way we have a lot of heavy lifting to do and I’m not as young as I used to be.”

My mom says, “be careful don’t overdo either of you.”

“We’ll be fine. Marion, I probably won’t be back until dinner time so don’t make any big meals just in case I’m late. See you later.” He grabs his car keys from the hook and heads out the door.

I stand up and my mom hugs me again, “Don’t be a stranger. And let me know when we can come to visit and see your new place.”

“Ok, Mom but I don’t know if three people can fit into my apartment. Maybe one of you will have to wait in the hallway until the other one comes out.”

“What, what do you mean by that?”

“I mean it is a very tiny apartment.”

“Oh, I’m sure it will be fine. We all have to start somewhere. I know someday you’ll be a big success.”

“Thanks, Mom you were always my best cheerleader. Thanks for having faith in me.” This time I give her a hug. I realize I will miss hugging her and smelling of Chanel number five.”

I turn quickly away and take a deep breath and take my first step forward into my future. Then I start double-stepping it because I hear my father honking his horn impatiently. When I get up to the car, I open the door and say, “calm down, calm down will ya?”

“Get in, get in we don’t have all day. I have other things to do you know?”

“Sorry, Dad didn’t mean to keep you waiting.”

“Yeah, I know women always got to make everything a big emotional thing.”

I take a good look at my father and his eyes are all red. “Ok dad let’s get going.”

An hour later we were looking for a parking spot in front of my building we kept going round and round the block. On our fourth go-round a car finally pulled out and my dad expertly backs right into it. Luckily, his van had doors on the side and we can get my stuff out.

Two hours later we took our last load of my stuff up the three flights of stairs. I feel like I’m going to pass out. I can only imagine what my old man feels like. When we get inside, I go in the fridge, and lo and behold the former tenant left two bottles of Pepsi in the fridge. “Hey Dad, guess what? Two bottles of Pepsi, cold Pepsi.”

“What, you’re kidding. So, hand it over, hand it over. I’m about to die over here.”

Three hours later we had just about finished everything. I don’t think I could possibly fit one more thing in my new apartment. “Dad, I can’t believe it, but we’re done. How about we throw some water on our faces and get some lunch. I noticed there was a little luncheonette down the street. What do you say? My treat.”

“I say, hell yeah lead the way.”

We threw some water on our faces from the little sink, and wash our hands without soap because I forgot to bring any, and we head out to the EL Merkury.
El Merkury has everything you didn’t know you were craving until the moment you start eating it. My dad and I both ordered the black bean and cheese-stuffed pupusas and ice cream sundaes. I honestly thought I was going to throw up I ate so much. My dad says, “well, I don’t think I’ll be able to eat dinner tonight.”

“Me either, but that’s probably because I didn’t do any food shopping yet.”

“You’ll survive. When your mother and I first got married we hardly had any money and we ate beans and hotdogs for weeks at a time. And popsicles for dessert. I couldn’t eat hotdogs or popsicles for years after that. I know you are going to do great in the city. In fact, I envy you. Your whole life is ahead of you. I know you will be successful but it will take time and hard work. That’s about all the advice I have for you. I’m going to be on my way now. My last words are don’t be a stranger. Remember if you ever need us we will be there for you. And then he came over and gave my shoulders a squeeze and turned and walked out the door. And that is when what tear I had been holding back all day slid down my cheek along with a whole lot of other tears. I wiped them away with the back of my hand. I pushed my seat back put a tip on the table and walked over to the counter and paid my bill. “Thanks that was great,”  I said to the cashier. She gave me a big smile, and said,” please come again.” And I walked out the door and into my new life.

As I was going out the door, I heard the jukebox playing some old song called, GROWING UP IS HARD TO DO BY the Ginger Snaps. “What else can I say? It ain’t easy.”

 

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THE JOURNEY BEGINS

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I grew up in foster care. I can hardly remember what my mother looked like. I do remember her telling me that I was in a lot of trouble and she couldn’t take care of me anymore. I think I was about five years old at the time. Some old lady with grey frizzy hair and thick glasses came to our house. My mother answered the door Then she shoved me and a dirty pillowcase full of my dirty clothes out the door. Then she slammed the door. I could hear her putting the chain across the door.

I felt two tears run down my cheeks and I rubbed them off with the back of my hand. The lady stood there on the outside of the door and knocked hard several times. My mother didn’t open the door. I knew she wouldn’t. My mother never changes her mind.  Little Girl Crying

The lady said,” well I’m your social worker, Mrs.Walker. That means I will make sure that your needs are met and that you are living in a safe place. The lady took my hand and said, “Dear, I’m taking you to live with a wonderful lady that loves pretty little girls like you. And there are other little kids for you to play with too. And you’ll have a little girl your age to share a room. It’s not too far away. Let’s go.

The lady with the grey frizzy hair helps me get buckled into the back seat of the car. And says,” What do you like to be called, honey?”

“Well, my name is Marguerite. But I like to be called Marty.”

“Well, Marty it is. You will see a lot of me. If you ever have a problem, you can talk to me about it. So, try to relax and you’ll be at your new home in no time at all.”

I sat there in the back seat and I didn’t say another word. I made a promise to myself that I would never let anyone see me cry again. And I never did. If I ever felt like crying again, I would run outside and cry or hide in a closet where no one would see me.

As I was sitting in the back seat, I realize that I didn’t take my stuffed animal, Stuey. He was beaten up and dirty-looking. He was missing one of his button eyes. But he was all mine. I want to start crying again, but I didn’t. I say, “I forgot Stuey, I forgot Stuey.”

“Who’s Stuey, Marty?”

“He’s my best friend, he sleeps with me at night.”

“Oh, is he a stuffed animal Marty?”

“Yes, but I can’t sleep without him.”

“Well, I’ll go get him after I drop you off at your new house. And I will bring him to you. I promise. You can trust me.”

I didn’t trust her. I was sure I would never see her or Stuey or my mother again. I wanted to start whaling and stamping my feet. But I didn’t say anything. I just sat there and it felt like the end of the world to me. Nothing would ever be the same. I didn’t say another word while we got to the house where somebody I didn’t know would take care of me. I couldn’t understand what I did wrong to make my mother stop loving me. I was sure there was something wrong with me. But I didn’t know what it was so I couldn’t change it.

After what seemed to be forever the lady pulled up to the curb in front of a house with a bunch of kids running around in the front yard. “Well, here we are Marty. This will be your new home.” It looked like a nice house. There were toys and bikes all over the front yard.

Some of the kids look about my age but some of the other kids were bigger. The yard was big and had all kinds of flowers and trees. I never really had a yard to play in before. I wish I had Stuey so I wouldn’t feel so alone. I didn’t have anyone to love me anymore. I was going to live here with some lady I didn’t know, and a bunch of kids who probably wouldn’t like me. I squeezed my eyes shut tight. So, I didn’t start crying again.

“Come on Marty let’s get out of the car and go knock at the door. I promise everything is going to be alright. I’m going to give you my phone number so you can call me if you have any problems at all. Any kind of problem no matter how big or small, OK?”

“But I don’t know how to use the phone. Our phone didn’t work because my mom didn’t have money to pay the bill.”

“Really, well before I leave, I will show you how to use the phone and then you can practice doing it while I’m here. I promise you can trust me.”

“Really, you will let me do that?”

“Yes, Marty I will. After you meet Mrs. Taylor, you will see what a nice lady she is and that you can talk to her too. She has been fostering kids for years. And I’ve known her for a long time. I trust her.

As we walk up to the front door a girl about as big as I was came running over. She started talking really fast to me. “Hiya, I’m Missy. I knew you were coming today and I’m so happy because you are going to share a room with me. I always wanted to have a sister. And now I do. Come on in and see our room.”

And then she grabbed my hand and pulled me into the house after she open the door with a bang. I thought for sure someone would come out and yell at us. But no one did.

Then I saw a pretty lady with an apron on come walking towards us. “Oh, there you are I was waiting for you. I’m Mrs. Taylor. I’m so happy you got here before lunch. I’m making grilled cheese sandwiches and chicken noodle soup for lunch. Missy why don’t you go with Marty and show her where the bathroom is and your bedroom. And by then lunch will be ready. Don’t forget to wash your hands.”

Missy grabbed my hand and said,” come on.” And she pulled me by my hand and showed me the bathroom. She quickly washed her hands and then she said, “I’ll be outside the door. Don’t forget to wash your hands after, or you’ll get in trouble.”

“Will I get hit if I don’t do it or I forget?”

“What? No, Mrs. Taylor is really nice you’ll like her. She hardly ever yells.?”

I walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind me. I look in the mirror and I could see my face had tear stains running down my face. My face looked dirty. I guess I didn’t wash myself this morning. Sometimes I forgot and my mother never said anything to me. Sometimes I didn’t have any clean clothes to wear. My mother didn’t always remember to do the wash. She was always sleeping on the couch all day. I don’t know why she was always so tired. She didn’t go to a job. She told me that she got Welfare checks cause she was “sick.” But I never knew why she was sick.  Sometimes she said my dad was a good-for-nothing who didn’t care about me or her. And he never sent her any money to buy food or clothes. Next thing I knew I heard Missy saying, “hey come on out lunch is ready. We are waiting for you.”

When I closed the bathroom door behind me, I hear Missy say,” we’re in here, come on or your food will be cold” When I got to the kitchen the pretty lady and Missy and two little boys were sitting at the table…” Where’re all the other kids?”

“This is the whole gang, you, me, and these two. Mikey and Jimmy. Mikey has curly red hair, and Jimmy has blond hair. The other kids outside are our friends who live down the street. You can meet them later. Dig in.

After lunch, Missy said “now we all help to clear the table and bring the dishes to the sink. But first, you have to scrape the dishes and then wash them. I clean the table. The boys make sure all the chairs are pushed in and put the table cloth back on. If you want to you can dry the dishes after I wash them. And then I’ll show you where they go. We are supposed to brush our teeth after every meal too. Then we can go out and play or watch TV or play games.”

I stood there listening to her transfixed by how happy she sounded talking about how they all work together to get the work done. “OK, I’ll dry the dishes. But I never did that before. My mom always used paper plates and paper cups. She didn’t like washing dishes. She didn’t like to cook either. We always ate MacDonald’s or Burger King for dinner. I used to make myself peanut butter sandwiches for lunch. We never cleaned the kitchen.”

“Really, well everyone helps here. And Mrs. Taylor always cooks a hot lunch and dinner. And on Sunday she makes a homemade cake. My favorite is chocolate cake with vanilla icing. What kind do you like?”

“I don’t know my mom didn’t make cakes.”

“Well, I guess you’ll just have to try all the cakes and find out which is your favorite?”
“

Really, I would love that.”

After we cleaned up the kitchen me and Missy and Mikey and Jimmy went outside and played on the swings in the backyard. Missy pushed me up so high, I started laughing and couldn’t stop. Finally, she slowed my swing down and I jumped off. “That was really fun. I said and smiled from ear to ear. Although I did feel a little sick from swinging right after eating such a big lunch.

“Oh wait, I forgot to show you, our room. You’re going to love it. Come on I’ll show you.”

We ran into the house and Missy ran down the hall past the bathroom and flung open the door to the bedroom. There were two beds in there. And she said, look we got new bedspreads. I picked them out. Why don’t you decide which bed you would like?”

“Really? Oh, I love this pink one with the flowers and the butterflies. Can I have this one?”

“Sure, I like either one. They are both pretty. Why don’t you try it out? See if it’s comfortable.?”

“I never had my own bedroom before. I usually slept on the couch because Mamma had company that stayed in her bedroom with her most of the time. The couch was kind of lumpy and smelly but it wasn’t too bad. I would have loved to have my own bedroom. I love the pink walls. How did you know I liked pink?”

“Oh, I didn’t know silly, it’s my favorite color too. Do you want to put your clothes away.?  Oh, Mrs. Walker has them. Maybe she gave them to your mother they were in a brown paper bag.”

“Oh well, Mrs. Taylor probably put them in the wash. Sometimes the kids that come here don’t have any clothes then she takes them to the store and buys them all new clothes. When I first came here, I only had the clothes I had on. So, I got all new clothes and new sneakers. I never had new clothes before. I always got hand-me-downs. Mrs. Taylor is really nice.”

“How long have you lived here? Where are your mom and dad?”

“I’ve been here for two years. I don’t know who my dad is and my mother is in prison. Sometimes she writes me letters. But I haven’t heard from her in almost a year.”

“My mom told me she doesn’t love me and I was too much trouble and she didn’t want to take care of me anymore.”

Missy looked at Marty and a tear rolls down her face. “Sometimes adults say things they don’t mean. Maybe she was just in a bad mood.”

“She said it to me all the time. She never hugged me.”

Missy came over and gave Marty a hug. “Well, we’re sisters now and sisters love each other. We can make a promise that we will always take care of each other. Do you want to pinky swear?”

“Pinky swear? What does that mean?

Oh, we hold each other’s little fingers and we swear at the same time that we will always be sisters and take care of each other no matter what.”

“Yes, let’s pinky swear. I have always wanted a sister.”

“Ok, this is what we will swear: We will always look out for each other no matter what that we will always be best friends and sisters, no matter where we live or how old we are. Then Marty and Missy held onto each other little fingers and said the oath,” We will always be best friends and sisters, no matter where we live, or how old we are.

Just as we were finished our pinky swear Mrs. Walker called me, “Marty come over here for a few minutes so I can show you how to make a phone call. She told me a bunch of numbers and then pushed the numbers on the phone. “Here now you try it.”

I started to cry again. “What’s the matter, Marty?”

I don’t know my numbers yet, nobody taught me.”

“Oh, of course, you don’t. Why didn’t I think of that? I’ll go and talk to Mrs. Taylor and tell her that you are allowed to call me whenever you need to and I’ll ask her to start teaching you how to recognize and write numbers. How about until you are ready to do that on your own, I will call you every Monday morning at 8:30 before I go to the office?”

“OK. What do I say when you call me?”

“You just say hello, this is Marty. And then you tell me how you’re doing. OK?”

“Yes. OK.” And then I smiled. No one had ever called me and asked how I was doing before.

“Alright Marty, I’m leaving now. But if you have any problems, please let me know. But I think you are going to do wonderfully here. I’m going to go back to your apartment and get Stuey right now and bring him back in a little while. Is that alright with you?”

“Yes, thank you. I can’t wait to show Stuey my new room. I’ll see you in a little while.”

And Mrs. Walker came back that very afternoon with Stuey. And she kept all the promises that she ever made to me. I lived with my pinky sister and Mikey and Jimmy and Momma Taylor until I was old enough to go to college. Missy and I ended up going to the same college in Philadelphia at Temple University. We both decided that we wanted to be Social Workers and help other children to find homes when they were unable to live with their own families.

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NIGHT SHIFT

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It’s been six years since I started working the night shift. It’s hard to remember just why I thought it would be a good idea to work from Midnight to the eight AM shift. I vaguely remember thinking I would have more free time and the pay was slightly higher than working nine to five.

Callowhill Depot, Philadelphia, Pa.

What I failed to consider is that I would be sleeping during the day. And the impact that would have on my life. Things like maintaining friendships with people that worked during the day. Not to mention I hope to get married and have children at some point. I suppose that’s still a possibility if I fall in love with a man that also works nightshift. But if we both worked the night shift and slept eight hours during the day having children together really doesn’t seem feasible. I guess the solution is that I or my husband would have to start working during the day like normal people. Of course, that would limit how much time we spent together as well.

The fact of the matter is that before I was hired at SEPTA, the job I had was tedious and boring. I was selling high-risk auto insurance. On the other hand, the customers that came into the office were often downright scary. These people were basically maniacs on wheels. I was making minimum wage and was still living at home with my parents. Because I couldn’t afford to move out. I couldn’t afford to do anything. I had to pay my parent’s rent, pay for the upkeep of my beater car, and insurance and gas. Which left me with pocket change.

On the other hand, in my previous job there was no climbing up the corporate ladder. There was no ladder. I was working at Ellis Insurance Company. We sold high-risk auto insurance. It was owned by two brothers, Harry and Evie Ellis. And there were only three employees. You were stuck in the same job. There wasn’t any upward mobility The other two girls that I met working there were nice and we became friends over time. I decided I need to make a change in my life.

A friend of mine told me that SEPTA was hiring but it was on the night shift. And I thought why not? Sounds interesting. What harm could it do to apply for the job and see what shakes out? And sure, enough a week after I sent my resume out, I got a call from HR at SEPTA for a job in the dispatcher’s office on the night shift. Of course, it was a job on the bottom rung of the corporate ladder.

Now I’m working at the Callowhill depot in West Philadelphia in the office that schedules the busses, trolleys, and drivers. I have to say I like working there. It keeps me on my toes, having to maintain the vehicle’s maintenance and scheduling the bus and trolley drivers. And as far as friendships go well, you’re going to almost instantly bond with your workmates because they are in the same boat as you are working the night shift. Unfortunately, no love matches, but plenty of friends. The routine doesn’t vary much from day to day but I feel at this point I am highly competent and confident in my ability to successfully perform my job.

About six weeks ago I arrived at work at 11: 45 PM. Just in time for the second shift to clock out and go home. “Hello everyone, how did your day go?” Helen who works the second shift in my position, as a dispatcher said, “no problems during our shift, but two drivers called out for the third shift. I contacted two drivers and they agreed to fill in. You’ll see the information on the log. Well, its’ been a long day. I’ll see you guys tomorrow before I clock out. I hope all goes well for you guys. Take care,”

“Bye Helen, I hope you have a good night, see you tomorrow.” Helen is a hard worker and always takes the time to say hello and wish us well. I’d like to get to know her but we have different days off and she has a family with four kids. I don’t know how she does it.

Two of the other people that work on my shift, Kathy a single woman, no kids, lives with her elderly mother, and Henry, a tall, gangly man in his early sixties yells out, “good evening, everyone, I hope you sneaked in a few Z’s today. For some reason, I had this feeling all day that something is going to go wrong on our shift tonight. You know I always thought I was a little psychic. But, my wife says, I’m a little crazy. So, it’s probably nothing. Oh, here’s Gertie. She is just a bundle of energy and so thin she disappears when she turns sideways. But believe it or not, she is strong as a horse.  She has been studying karate for years. And could probably take down a tank all on her own. But you would never know by looking at her. “Hi Gertie, how’s life treating you today?”

“Life is treating me just fine Henry. Anything new with you?”

“Well, I was just telling our friend here, that all day I kept thinking something bad was going to happen tonight, but I’m sure it’s nothing. Probably ate too much-fried chicken or something. But keep your eyes open anyway just in case.”

And then Kathy flew in the door. “Sorry to be late, but just at the last minute, I realize I left my purse and my lunch on the coffee table in my living room and I had to go back and get them. I hope that didn’t cause any problems.”

“No problems Kathy, sit down and take a deep breath and calm down, everything is fine so far.”

“What’s Henry talking about?”

“Oh nothing, you know Henry thinks he has some kind of psychic ability and can sense the future. It’s a bunch of bolognas if you ask me.”

The next hour is really busy as all the second shift drivers are returning with their busses and signing out and all the third shift drivers are clocking in. I wave at them as they walk by our office. Then I start checking the activity log to see if there are any problems that need to be addressed immediately. After that, I start checking tomorrow’s schedule to see if there are any conflicts or call-outs or buses that needed maintenance. The time really flies by. I check my watch and it’s already after 3 am. I decide to get a cup of coffee. Because right about this time every work night my energy starts to diminish. It’s always quiet in the depot this time of night. And we usually take turns taking breaks.

it’s Henry’s turn to take a break. He usually takes a walk around the depot and sometimes outside. But you really have to be careful in this neighborhood at night. You never know what’s going to happen. But it’s a beautiful night so who knows he might take a little late-night stroll.

Just when I was beginning to wonder what happen to Henry since he has been gone for about twenty-five minutes. Kathy, Gertie, and I hear a loud commotion out in the hall outside the depot office. I hear Gertie say,” what the hell is Henry doing out there anyway. Kathy responds,” I’ll go take a look maybe he slipped on the floor out there I noticed that it had just been waxed and was slippery when I came in. Some day one of us is going to break their necks.”

I go back to work and I hear Gertie quip, “oh yeah this place is a hotbed of activity like the morgue at three in the morning.”

Then I say, “Gertie, did anyone ever tell you have a weird sense of humor?”

“Weird no, not at all. I’m perfectly normal. And then she lets out a big guffaw. Her laugh is like a donkey neighing. “He haw, he haw, he haw.”

And then we hear shouting and something heavy falls to the floor. “What the hell, Gertie screams at the top of her apparently huge lungs. She scares me almost as much as what’s going on in the hallway. I whisper maybe we should call the police or the transit cops, somebody. Henry did say that he had a bad feeling about today, and he has always been right when he has his “psychic premonitions.”

“Oh, come on let’s all calm down,” I say.

“I’m going out to see if Henry is alright, one of you call the freaking police just in case.”

Kathy and I sit tight, and I decide maybe I should call the police, better safe than sorry. I’m about to pick up the phone when the doors to the depot office burst open and three huge guys that I’ve never seen before burst in with Henry and Gertie. Who are being dragged in kicking and screaming all the way. Their hands are tied behind them. Gertie’s eyes are practically bugging out of her head. Henry’s face is so red it looks like he might stroke out any minute. I hear a loud voice in my head keep repeating, why didn’t you call the police you idiot?

The biggest guy who looks like he could be a sumo wrestler yells, “you two go over next to the vault. Whoever knows the combination better open it up immediately or this old man is going to be breathing his last breath tonight and it will be your fault “

I start sweating like a pig. I’m afraid I’m going to pee my pants or pass out. I’ve never been so scared in my life. I walk towards the vault and starting keying in the combination. There is no way in hell I’m going to die because of money. Which can be replaced. No way. I open the huge door and then the Sumo wrestler says, “all of you get over there and don’t move and he points to the wall next to the safe. “My friend here is going to hold his gun at this guy here and if any of you try anything, anything at all I’m going to put a bullet in his head. Do you understand? We nod.

The youngest-looking robber goes into the vault with a large canvas bag and then we hear a whole lot of rustling coming from it. It is clear he is taking all the money that was put in there during the day shifts. Then he comes out dragging the heavy satchel. “OK, get rid of these jokers, and let’s go before the police show up the alarm must have gone off when we broke it.”

And that’s when they grabbed the rest of us and gagged us and tied our hands behind our backs and literally threw us in the big safe. I started hyperventilating immediately because I have a fear of small spaces. I think at some point I passed out because the next thing I knew there was a burly Philly cop standing over me and shaking me. “Hey wake up, you’re alright, wake up for god’s sake.” And then he slapped me across my face and I said, ok, ok stop hitting me. He just laughed.

When they took off Henry’s gag he immediately said, “I told you something bad was going to happen tonight.”

And that is when I said, “shut up Henry.” And I decided it was time for me to stop working on the night shift.

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Rose Colored Glasses

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When I was a little girl about ten years old my mother often said I had the ability to look at the world through rose-colored glasses. I couldn’t understand why she kept saying this to me since I didn’t even wear glasses. She usually said it while I was regaling my family with a story about something that happened to me while I was outside playing.

My father often says, “Sally you have quite the imagination, don’t let it run away with you.” And then my sisters laugh and laugh. I was fairly certain that they weren’t laughing because they enjoyed my story. I think they’re making fun of me. It never fails to make me get mad, and I stamp off in the middle of dinner. And then one of my older sisters would say,” there she goes again.” As a result, I rarely finished dinner or ate dessert.

Amulet

And then one night I was late getting home for dinner because while I was taking a walk downtown on Main Street. I saw an old woman crossing the street, and just as she was stepping up on the curb she started to trip. I ran across the street as fast as I could. And, I caught her just as she was about to fall on the sidewalk and hit her head. The old lady took one look at me and smiled. When she smiled her whole face lit up and her eyes twinkled. “Oh, thank you so much you saved my life. I could have broken my neck. You are a hero.”

I said, “that’s the nicest thing anyone ever said to me. Thank you. But I’m not a hero. I was across the street and I saw that you were about to trip and fall. So I ran over here to catch you so you wouldn’t get hurt. Anyone would have done the same thing.”

“No, I assure you, not everyone goes out of their way to help people. You have a good heart. And not everyone can say that. I would like to give you a little gift. Would you like that?”

“Oh, I don’t know. My mother told me that I shouldn’t take anything from strangers.”

“What’s your name, dear?”

“My name is Sally.”

“Well Sally, I’m sure your mother wouldn’t mind making this one exception.”

“Really do you think so?”

“Yes, yes I do. Close your eyes and hold your breath while you count to sixty.”

And that is exactly what I did. I could feel the old lady putting a chain around my neck. And it had something heavy hanging on it. I couldn’t wait to open my eyes.

“Alright, Sally open your eyes. I’m giving you a neckless and there’s an amulet hanging off of it that’s filled with Magical Stardust. You have to wear the necklace all the time for the necklace to work. It will allow you to see the good in people, and the good in the world. This amulet only has the power to strengthen whatever is the person’s best quality.

And I can feel that you have a big heart Sally that cares for people. You see the good and you will grow up to be a kind and decent person. And this amulet will protect your kind and good heart. And it will not let the world change who you are meant to be. The world can do that sometimes, it can change people from who they are meant to become.”

I look down at my chest and I see a beautiful silver star. And there’s a glass circle in the middle of the star. It’s twinkling with glimmers of light. I pick it up in my hand and say, “oh, my gosh this is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Are you sure, I can keep this?”

And when I look up, she isn’t standing there anymore. I look to the right and the left and across the street and I don’t see her anywhere. I look down at my chest and the necklace is still there. I put the amulet under my shirt. I don’t know how I’m going to tell my family about this. I know they aren’t going to believe me. They never do. I decided that it would be better if I don’t tell them about the amulet. It will be my little secret.

That night as we are sitting at the dinner table my oldest sister Kathleen says, “so Sally what were you up to today?  Did anything interesting happen?. Did any of the animals in the neighborhood talk to you? How about the trees did they have anything to say for themselves?”

If looks could kill, Kathleen would be lying on the floor at that moment. I said, “no.”

“What nothing interesting happened? Come on you can tell us.”

“No,”

“So, are you saying nothing interesting happened or you aren’t going to tell us what happened?”

“No, I’m never telling any of you anything again.”

My mother says, “are you happy now Kathleen? You can never let her be, can you? She’s just a child with a big imagination and that’s all. Stop picking on her. Or I’m going to make you regret it. Last warning Kathleen.”

“Oh, I was just joking, Sally just can’t take a joke.”

“That’s enough Kathleen, why don’t you just go up to your room and think about your behavior. I’ve heard enough out of you, and you’re always causing issues at the dinner table. Sally never finishes her dinner. She eats like a bird.”

“Yeah, a vulture.”

“OK, Kathleen go upstairs. Don’t come down until we’re finished eating and you can wash the dishes and clean up the kitchen. See if you think that’s so funny. I’m finished tolerating your infantile behavior. You’re almost eighteen. You should know better.”

“Jeez, Mom I was just kidding, can’t she take a joke?”

“Go upstairs Kathleen, not another word.”

I can’t believe my mother actually stood up for me. I look over at her and she has her head down. And doesn’t say a word to me. Kathleen is busy stamping up the stairs to her room. I kind of feel sorry for her.

I don’t say anything during dinner, and after I take my dishes over to the sink I say, “I’m going upstairs to finish my book.” When I get upstairs, I go into the bathroom and look in the mirror. I pull the pendant out from under my shirt and look at it in the mirror. It’s so beautiful. It looks like the stardust is moving around in the circle in the middle of the pendant. It looks brighter. I know I have to be very careful and not let anyone see it. Plus, I can’t ever take it off. So, it has to be my secret, always.

The next morning when I come down for breakfast, I make toast with peanut butter and jelly and banana. And then I have a glass of cold milk. I know I shouldn’t drink cold milk in the morning because I always feel sick to my stomach afterward. But I really like milk, especially chocolate milk. I’m about to drink the milk when my sister Kathleen comes into the room, I don’t look at her. I stare down at my milk.

“Sally, I’m sorry I was picking on you last night. I don’t know why I do it. I should know better because Carol and Jean always tortured me because I was the youngest. And I guess when you came along, I thought it was my turn to be able to pick on somebody instead of the one that always got made fun of all the time. But what I should have been doing all this time is treating you with kindness and understanding because I knew how horrible it is was to be picked on all the time. I promise I’ll do better.”

I couldn’t believe my ears. No one, I mean absolutely no one had ever apologized to me when they made me feel bad by making fun of me or calling me stupid. I feel a tear run down my cheek followed by another and another. That’s when Kathleen came over and gave me a hug. I hug her back. It was the first time any of my sisters were affectionate to me. Then she says let’s start over, OK?”

I nod my head because by now I’m crying so hard I can’t talk. Even though this is the happiest moment of my life up until now. I go into the bathroom and splash cold water on my face. And then I fold the washcloth and press it over my closed eyes. Because they’re all red from crying. When I take it off my eyes don’t look any better. But I feel better all the same. I brush my teeth and comb my hair and go downstairs and grab my school bag and lunchbox.

As I‘m heading out the door I yell, “bye mom I’m going to school now, I’ll see you later. I hear my mother say, “wait a minute Sally I have something for you. And then she comes to the front door and says, “I made a special snack for you, Peanut butter cookies with chocolate chips in them. I know how much you love them.”

I smile at my mother and open my lunch box so she can put the cookies in there. She places them carefully into my Peter Pan lunch box. And then she says,” I want to give you a big hug and kiss. So, you know how much I love you, Sally. You’re such a kind little girl. I’m proud of you.”

And that is when my eyes start watering again. I wipe away the tears and say, “I love you too, Mommy.”  As I walk down the street towards the school I stop for a moment and put my school bag down. And I take the amulet from under my shirt and stare at it. It is twinkling again. I don’t know if the amulet holds special powers. But I do know that something magical has happened to me. But just in case I’m going to keep wearing this amulet for the rest of my life.

And I know that if you don’t believe the magic will never happen. And I look up at the sky but I can’t see the stars because of the bright sunshine. And then I hold my amulet again and I give it a little squeeze and I feel it getting warm and my hand starts tingling a little. I put it back under my shirt. And then I continue on to school.

All of a sudden I hear someone yelling, “Hey, Sally wait up. I want to talk to you. I turn around and it’s none other than Beth O’Hearn. I slowed down and Beth catches up with me and says “Hey, thanks for waiting for me. “Hi Sally, I was thinking about you this morning and I was wondering if you would like to join the writing club. I always hear you telling people interesting stories. And so, I thought you would be perfect. What do you think? The name of the club is Dream Weavers.

“Really? I would love to join the club.”

“That’s great Sally. Our next meeting is tomorrow after school in the back of the school library”

“That’s great. I’ll be there.”

This was turning out to be the best day of my life. I put my hand to my chest and could feel the amulet. And I walk through the school doors with a smile across my face for the first time in my life. As I’m walking down the hallway, I see two boys shoving someone back and forth in the hallway. They are calling her a name and laughing at her. I run up to where they’re at. And I see the girl they are shoving around is Elizabeth Hess.

“Hey leave her alone I scream at the top of my lungs.” Mind your own business, Sally. What do you care about Burned Betty?’ That is when I punch Charlie right in the stomach as hard as I can. Don’t you dare call her that? You’re nothing but a bully. You’re a horrible person. You better leave or I’m going to go up to the principal’s office and tell them what you two were doing.”

Charlie said, “whatever.” But then the two of them took off. Elizabeth has been in my class since first grade. In the third grade, Elizabeth’s house caught on fire and she was burned all over including her face. She has angry red scars. Everyone either makes fun of her or tortures her. Elizabeth has been made fun of or ignored for so long she doesn’t even cry anymore. She didn’t say anything to me she just stood there. “Elizabeth I was just thinking that we have an empty seat at my lunch table now that Douglas Badger moved away. How would you like to sit with us?  She stared at me for a minute and then and then she nods without saying a word. I take her hand and say,” Come on let’s go put our stuff in the classroom, and then we can go outside in the play yard until the bell rings, what do you say?”

She nods her head again and quietly said, “Yes.”

As we walk down the hallway towards the classroom I think about Elizabeth and I wonder why I hadn’t made friends with her before. I feel bad because I know what it feels like when people make fun of you and call you names. And you feel powerless to stop them. You start thinking you deserve it or something. But I know that isn’t true. Nobody deserves to be made fun of or ignored because of the way they look, where they live, or anything else. I think I might have been afraid to make friends with her because I thought people might start making fun of me too.

We put our stuff in the classroom and then I say, “come on let’s go outside. It’s nice out.” She just stands there. “Come on you don’t have to be afraid anymore. I take her hand and start walking toward the door and then we walk down the hall and out the door to the play yard. “I promise it will be alright Elizabeth.”  I walk over to a group of my friends and Elizabeth stands next to me. “Hi, everyone. Elizabeth is going to join us, isn’t that great? Everyone looks at me and then at Elizabeth. They all say, “yeah, that’s great. Hi, Elizabeth. I look at her and she has the beginnings of a smile on her face.

I let go of Elizabeth’s hand and smile at her. “Hey guess what Beth ask me to join the writing club. The first meeting is tomorrow after school in the library.”

My friend, Helen looks at me and says, Lucky. You are really good at telling stories, Sally. That sounds fun, I wish I had your imagination. Elizabeth suddenly says, “ I like to write stories about animals. We have lots of pets. We have three dogs, four cats, and a parrot that can talk.”

“You do? Says Helen. The parrot can really talk like a person?”

“Yes,” Elizabeth says, He can say a lot of stuff. He repeats anything someone says near him.”

“Wow, Elizabeth that is cool, I would love to meet him.”

“You would? Well, you can come to my house after school and meet him anytime.”

And then all the girls start saying,” Me too, me too.”

I look over at Elizabeth and her face was transformed by the big smile on her face and the twinkle in her eyes. I never noticed what beautiful green eyes she had before. “How about on Friday after school Elizabeth? Do you think that would be alright with your mom?”

“Yes, but just in case I’ll ask her today after school.”

Just then the bell rings and it’s time for us to go in. Everyone was laughing at Peter because he was making weird faces for some reason. And then we all filed into the building. As I was walking through the door, I put my hand over my chest and I could feel how warm the amulet was getting. I felt so happy for Elizabeth making friends with everyone. And you know what you can never have enough friends. I knew today was going to be the beginning of a whole new chapter of my life.

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