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NASTY NEIGHBOR

Sebastian slowly made his way down Main Street toward the bakery. He was looking forward to a breakfast of fresh, homemade bagels and cream cheese. He favored his right leg, as he had injured it many years ago, and it was never the same. When in the distance, he saw one of his neighbors one Jeffrey Duggins, walking towards him. Sebastian considered turning around and returning back home. He always got a bad vibe whenever he came within shouting distance of his neighbor, Jeffrey.

In fact, at times, he felt that his very life was at risk if he rubbed Jeffrey the wrong way. And as far as he could tell, everything he had ever said to Jeffrey seemed to set him off. Sebastian could say the most innocuous thing, and Jeffrey would read something nefarious into it. One day, he said, “Hello, Jeffrey. How’s it going? Did your trash get picked up yesterday? They never picked mine up?”

Jeffrey’s face distorted into an angry mask. And then he shouted,” What the hell is your problem? You’re always complaining every time you talk to me. How the hell would I know if everyone had their trash picked up or not?” Sebastian stared at Jeffrey, flabbergasted, and then shook his head, trying to clear his mind. And then Sebastian quietly crossed the street. He vowed silently to himself that in the future he would avoid any interaction with Jeffrey in the future. The guy had some serious issues, and Sebastian didn’t want to be on the receiving end of his anger. Jeffrey was a real nutter, for sure. Sebastian often wondered what excessive lengths that Jeffrey had gone to with other people who made some harmless comment to Jeffrey.

As Sebastian crossed the street, he shook his head and thought, what in the world would make a man of Jeffrey’s advanced age act so angry and belligerent for no reason at all? Sebastian continued on his walk. And just as he was about to cross the street to his house, it occurred to him that perhaps Jeffrey’s unfriendly behavior was deliberate. And his ultimate goal was to avoid any interaction with anyone. So as not to ignite any interest or curiosity about him with any of his neighbors or people in general. Sebastian crossed the street and made the decision to ignore or avoid Jeffrey in the future. He was a bad egg, that’s for sure. As he open his back door, he could smell what could only be his wife’s delicious breakfast waiting for him on the kitchen table. There was a cover over it. His wife was several years younger than he, and she still worked part-time.

Sebastian sat down to eat his breakfast and thought, where did all the years go? How did his life fly by so quickly in the blink of an eye? This was supposed to be a time to relax and enjoy life, doing the things you loved to do and didn’t have time for during your working years. And here he was, sitting at his kitchen table, worrying about what he could and couldn’t do because he didn’t wish to awaken the Jeffrey’s ire and directing that anger towards him.

While Sebastian was sitting at the table, it occurred to him that perhaps he could invite Jeffrey over for dinner one night would win him over. His wife was a fantastic cook, and she was known to be quite the charmer with people. She could take the most unfriendly and belligerent person and win them over with her friend chicken, homemade mashed potatoes, and one of her world-famous chocolate cakes.

And the more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea. But, he would have to get his wife, Millie, to go along with it. She kept telling him to leave her out of this whole business with our nasty, old so-and-so neighbor. She didn’t think he was worth the trouble. And then he thought he would take a walk over to the florist downtown and buy her a dozen red roses. They were her favorite, and she wouldn’t be able to say no after smelling them and putting them in her favorite crystal vase in the middle of the dining room table.

As Sebastian was on his way home from the florist, who should he see but Jeffrey coming from the opposite direction? There was really no way to avoid him other than quickly reversing his direction and running away. And Sebastian was way past that kind of shenanigans. So, he took a deep breath and kept walking. And then he felt someone staring at him. And who was it but none other than Jeffrey? Maybe Jeffrey would keep walking and cross the street? But no, he kept walking in his direction. And

Sebastian could feel his cold stare on him. And as he got closer, Jeffrey said, “Are you stalking me now?”

“Me? Stalking you? Why in the world would I do that? Listen, I haven’t done not one thing to you. You are the one causing conflicts in our neighborhood. You antagonize everyone you come in contact with around our neighborhood. Everyone else avoids you. You are obnoxious and cause conflict with everyone. Stop blaming your behavior on everyone else. You don’t have to talk to anyone. Just mind your own business. Nobody cares what you do. Just leave everyone else alone. And then there won’t be any further problems.”

“Yeah, I bet the whole neighborhood would love to see me fall off a cliff. I guess that would make you happy, wouldn’t it?”

“No, Jeffrey, I never wished you or anyone else any harm. I have tried being friendly to you since we moved here. And you put up a literal brick wall between our two properties. And that sure doesn’t say, “Welcome to the neighborhood to me.”

Jeffrey stood there with a strange expression on his face for several minutes. It seemed like a year to Sebastian. He was about to say something else to Jeffrey, but for the life of him, he didn’t know what to say. He was getting tired of the whole situation, including the friction in the neighborhood where he hoped to live out his final years.

“Well, Sebastian, that’s your name, isn’t it?”

“Yes, that’s my name. I introduced myself to you right after we moved in, and you just walked away from me without saying a word.”
“Well, yes, I guess I did. I didn’t want to go through the whole rejection scenario again. It’s getting old. I thought it would be better to reject you instead of the other way around.”

“Well, that didn’t turn out too well, did it?
“No, Sebastian, it didn’t. But, I have a tendency to be bull-headed, and once I get an idea in my head, it’s hard for me to change my mind.”

“OK, well, that’s a beginning; how about we start over? My wife and I would like to invite you to dinner. How about Saturday evening? It’s my wife’s day off, and she is a fabulous cook. What do you say?”

“ I say, what time? My wife was a great cook too. But she passed away about ten years ago from cancer. And I guess that’s when I gave up on life. It just felt so empty without her by my side. And when I saw everyone in the neighborhood going out and having fun with their families, it just made me madder and madder. We were never able to have kids, and I’ve just been alone all these years. And I guess I resented everyone else’s happiness. I know that doesn’t make sense.”

“Well, Jeffrey, I’m so sorry you lost your wife. That is a big loss. It would affect everyone who lost their closest loved one. But you just made it worse by pushing everyone away who tried to befriend you all these years. Your wife wouldn’t want you to be miserable all these years. So, why don’t we start over, and you come over tonight for a great dinner? And then maybe in a few weeks, you will feel up to coming to a neighborhood bar-b-que. There is no reason on earth for you to spend your remaining year lonely and unhappy, and angry. So, how about it? Are you interested?”

“ Yes, I would like to come over and have dinner. It’s been a long, long time since I had a home-cooked meal. I eat mostly take-out or frozen dinners.” 

“Alright then, let’s head home, and you can come over to our house at six o’clock sharp. What do you say?”

“ I say, I’ll be there with bells on my feet.” And they continued home, and Sebastian started telling Jeffrey what he had done for a living while they were walking home. And Jeffrey was surprised to find out that they had similar occupations. And he started telling Sebastian about his early years after he and his wife were first married. It turned out that they had many things in common.

 

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THE GARDEN OF EARTHLY DELIGHTS

It was hard to believe but the first day of Spring has finally arrived. Dahlia was so excited she was unable to fall asleep the night before. She spent her entire sleepless night planning her garden. How could she possibly sleep when she had so many decisions to make. It was true that she had worked diligently during the long, cold, and dark winter perusing all the seed catalogs and the internet.

She had drawn and redrawn the plans for her garden.

Dahlia didn’t know how many years she had left in her life. But she knew that as long as she had breath in her body that she would spend whatever time she had left either planning her garden or working in it. She could think of no better way to wile away the time she had left.

Dahlia could not comprehend why everyone wouldn’t love gardening. Working the soil with her hands, breathing the fresh and fragrant air all around her, and feeling the warm sun on her back. As she knelt in the rich soil and planted her seeds, seedlings were truly a gift. She could not imagine any other activity that would make her feel more alive or more in tune with nature.

She tried to explain to her friends why and how much she loved her garden. But those who never gardened couldn’t imagine why anyone would want to spend all their free time kneeling in the dirt and out in the hot sun. And all of her friends who loved gardening as much as she did couldn’t imagine not loving every minute of it.

Dahlia referred to her garden as the Garden of Earthly Delights. Because every moment she spent in her garden or thinking about it she was completely fulfilled and happy and in harmony with nature. Her mind would empty of worry and calm and focus on the tasks before her. All worry would disappear.

Last Spring and into the Summer Dahlia planned her Koi Pond. She had always dreamed of adding one to her garden and last year after saving for almost five years she was able to hire two young men who lived in the neighborhood to install one in her back yard in front of her back porch.

And she only had to walk down her steps and she was able to stand over her pond and watch the beautiful Koi and Shubunkins and Comets swimming gracefully in her pond. It was the most beautiful sight she could imagine.

Dahlia planted yellow Water Lilly’s. She loved to see her beautiful Koi poke their faces out of the water and try and capture the dragonflies as they touched upon the water ever so lightly. This year Dahlia planned to plant a white Hydrangea behind the pond.

One afternoon as she was weeding her garden in the backyard she heard a little voice call out, “Hi, hello, could I come into your yard and see your Koi pond? My mother said I couldn’t come over unless you said it was OK. And you were here. She’s afraid that I’ll fall into the pond and drown. But I wouldn’t because I would be really careful. Can I come in?”

Dahlia smiled at the little girl who looked like she was about five or six years old. She had long, blond hair that hung down to her shoulders and when the sun shined on it her hair looked like it was made out of gold. “Of course, let me come over and unlock the gate for you.” Then Dahlia walked over to the fence and smiled at the little girl. Her smile would light up the darkest of days and her eyes were a shade of blue that is hard to define. Somewhere between the color of the ocean and a cloudy day. “What’s your name, dear?”

“My name is Iris. My mother told me she named me that because my eyes were the same color as her favorite flower, the Iris. And that she carried a bouquet of blue irises when my mommy and daddy got married.”

“Really? Why they are my favorite flower too, what a coincidence. I’ll tell you what before you leave I’ll cut some Irises for you to take home to your mother. How would you like that?”

“Really? I would love that. It would make my mommy so happy. We just moved into the house at the end of the corner and there are hardly any flowers in the yard. My mom loves flowers and was sad that our new house didn’t have any flowers. But, I said, that I could help her plant some. Maybe even some blue Irises.”

“Oh, I’m so happy that house finally has a family living in it. It was empty for a long time. There was an older couple living in it for a long time. But they had to go to an assisted living residence.”

“What does that mean, assisted living?”

“Oh, sorry that just means a place for older people to live where they have people that help take care of them, if they can’t walk too well, or they are lonely or something like that.”

“Are you going to have to go to that place? I hope not because you’re the first friend I made so far and we’ve been living here for almost a week.”

“Oh, a week isn’t that long. Before you know it you will have a whole bunch of friends. There are a few children your age on this street alone. Plus when you start school you’ll make a whole lot of friends, don’t worry.”

“Really do you think so?”

“Of course Iris, I have no doubt you will make many friends in no time at all. How about we take a little walk and you can meet some of my fish. I’ll give you some fish food and they’ll come right up to the top of the water, you’ll see.”

As they walk across the yard towards the pond, Iris became more and more excited. “Can you introduce me to your fish? Do they have names?”

“Names, of course. You stand over here for a minute while I get some fish food. Don’t get any closer to the edge of the pond. It is really deep in some parts. OK? I’ll be right back. Dahlia double-times it to the porch to get some fish food and then all but ran over to Iris, she was afraid she might fall in the pond.

“OK, here we go, hold open your hand and I’ll put some fish food into it. The little girl smiled and opened up her hand. Dahlia couldn’t remember the last time she saw such a tiny hand. She rarely was around any little children since she and her husband were not able to have any kids.

“Alright, just drop some of the fish food into the pond, be careful near the edge. And then we’ll wait for a couple of minutes and the fish will start coming up. Iris did as she was told and before she knew it she saw the gaping mouth of a fish. He swallowed the food in a flash. And Iris laughed and said, “oh can I do it again? Who was that what’s his name?”


“Oh, that’s Finley, he’s my Koi, isn’t he beautiful? After he gets to know you, he will come right up to you and you will be able to drop the food into his big mouth.”

“Oh, here comes another one. He’s really fast.” And at that moment a fish jumped up out of the water and then went back in a blink of an eye. “What’s his name?”

“Oh, that’s Haley’s Comet. I named him after a Comet because he is so fast. And because he is a Comet which is a type of Koi. Throw him some fish food.”

Iris dropped several fish pellets into the water. And before you knew it Haley’s Comet had devoured the food and jumped back into the depths of the pond.

“Oh, I see little tiny fish in there. Are they babies?”

“Yes, there are quite a few, but I’ve never been able to count them because they swim around too quickly. Iris, does your mother know where you are? She might be wondering where you got to since you’re new to our neighborhood. How about we go and get your mom some Irises and then I’ll walk you back to your house. And I’ll say hello, and introduce myself to your mother?”

“Oh OK, I know my mom will be happy if you give her the flowers. She just loves them so much.”

“Alright, how about you come over here next to the deck and wait while I get some clippers to cut the flowers.”

Dahlia, grabbed her clippers from the back porch, and then she said, “Iris, why don’t you pick out the six Irises for me?”

“Really? OK.”

And then Iris stood there for a couple of minutes and carefully picked out the biggest and most beautiful flowers. “Oh, my mom will just love these.”

And then Iris and Dahlia started their short walk down the street to Iris’s new home. “Here it is, here it is. Isn’t it beautiful?”

“Yes, it is a truly beautiful new house. I know your family will be happy living here. It is such a friendly neighborhood and soon you will make some friends.”

“Oh, I already met my new best friend. It’s you, Dahlia.”

“That is the nicest thing anyone ever said to me, Iris.”

And before they knew it they arrived at the front yard of Iris’s house and her mother was standing outside on the front sidewalk.” Iris I was beginning to get worried about you. You shouldn’t have gone off without telling me where you were going? Oh, I’m sorry I should have introduced myself. I’m Iris’s mother. And you are?”

“I’m Dahlia, I live three houses down the street and Iris stopped by to say hello and she met some of my fish, in my Koi pond. I’m sorry if you were worried. I just wanted to stop by and say, “welcome to the neighborhood. I hope you will be very happy here. And I am so happy to meet Iris. She is welcome anytime, as long as she lets you know where she is going. And you are welcome anytime as well. Iris told me how much you love flowers and I would be happy to share some with you. Once you get settled in and have time to work in your garden.”

“Really? I did notice your house when we first came here to check out the house and we drove up and down the street. And I couldn’t help but notice how beautiful your garden is. And I’d love to stop by one day and take a look at all your beautiful flowers and of course your Koi pond as well. Oh, I forgot to introduce myself to you. My name is Rose, so I guess that is something we all have in common. We were all named after flowers. And we all love them.”

“That is funny, please feel free to stop by anytime. I warn you in advance I have a tendency to go on and on about flowers. One day after you get settled in, and have some free time, please stop by and see my garden and I’ll tell you where the best plant stores are located around here. I better be on my way, I’m sure you have tons of things to do and get unpacked. I look forward to your visit. Bye for now. Bye Iris, thanks for coming over. I hope to see you both soon. Dahlia waved goodbye and went on her way back to her house. She had a big smile on her face. It had turned out to be such a wonderful day. Rose and Iris waved bye to her as she turned to leave. And they were smiling as well.

THE NEW NEIGHBORS

It was just an ordinary day in the neighborhood. I have lived here for almost six years when my next-door neighbor had recently put their house up for sale unexpectedly. We weren’t close friends. They were quiet and kept to themselves for the most part. When I saw the For Sale sign on their lawn I was shocked. But I guess I shouldn’t have been since. We waved at each other but never really said anything beyond, “hi, how are you doing?” We both always said, “fine.” in response but a little more.

At the time I was a stay-at-home Mom. Since both of my children were under five and hadn’t started going to school yet. I waited a long time to have children and I wasn’t in any rush to go back to work. My day was focused on taking care of my kids and tending to the house and garden. My days were busy day so I didn’t have much time to worry about what any of my neighbors were up to. Since most of the neighbors, kids were in school and the husbands and wives were working full time.

But after that For Sale sign popped up life changed. There was a string of young, middle-aged, and even a few older couples who came by with their realtors viewing the house for sale. It was the first time in about fifteen years since there was a house for sale in our neighborhood. Pennsauken was a great place for kids to grow up. It was a quiet street with little noise. People maintained their homes and gardens. The elementary and middle schools were within walking distance. There were two playgrounds nearby.

During the Summer neighbors had bar-b-ques and invited their friends and neighbors to stop by. While the adults talked and ate hamburgers the kids would swim in the neighbor’s pool. Everyone decorated their house on Christmas and Halloween. I didn’t realize how much I love it until things started to change and not for the better. And it all started the day my next-door neighbor put that For Sale sign up.

After about three weeks passed I happened to be outside hanging the laundry on the clothesline. “Yeah, that’s right I had clothes outside to dry.” Anyway, I noticed the For Sale sign next door had a sticker on it that said in bold, red letters, SOLD. After lunch, I started getting phone calls from the neighbors who lived nearby asking me if I knew who was moving next door to us. I said, “no, I hadn’t seen or heard anything”. It must have happened yesterday when I had taken my kids to visit their grandparents who lived two towns away.

About ten days later I noticed a moving van pull into our neighbor’s driveway all their worldly belongings were being loaded into it and the family members got into their respective vehicles without a how-to you do, or see ya later. And they had been our neighbors the whole time that we lived here. They didn’t even wave goodbye. I have to admit I felt kind of sad. I began to get a bad feeling about who or what kind of people they sold their house to.

Early the next morning I noticed a large moving van pull into the driveway next door. It was Deja vue only in reverse. Two movers began moving in the new owner’s furniture. I hoped that it would all work out and they would be a good match for our neighborhood.

Later I was outside sitting on our front porch and I saw some people getting out of their cars. There was a woman and two young children and two men. I decided to walk over and say hello and welcome them to the neighborhood. “Hello, my name is Sarah, I’m your next-door neighbor. I don’t want to take up too much of your time. I know you are busy. Welcome to the neighborhood. I’m right next door if I can help you in any way let me know.

The woman said, ” Hello, my name is Meghan Walters and this is my husband Paul and this is my boyfriend, Harry. And these are John and Rob, my kids.” My boyfriend, Harry is a cop in Merchantville.”

I stared at her momentarily. I thought I must have misheard what she said. But then I knew I hadn’t because she said twice this is my boyfriend, Harry. I really didn’t know what to say about that. So, I just said, “well, it was nice meeting you all. And I waved goodbye.”

I walked back to my front porch and plopped on the chair. And I kept thinking husband and boyfriend? What in the world is going on here? Good grief. As I was sitting on the porch I glanced over and I noticed that the new neighbor’s two kids were next to the curb. And the youngest boy had a rope tied around his neck and was sitting on a bike and the older boy was getting ready to push the bike from under him.

I jumped up off the porch and ran over to the two boys. And I screamed, ” what in the name of god are you doing? Are you trying to kill your little brother? That is when their mother, Meghan called out, “oh they always play like that they’re fine. Not to worry.”

I looked over at her and I yelled,” Is this some kind of joke? He was about to hang his little brother?”

“Like I said, they always play like that. “

That is when I leaned over the two boys and whispered to the older brother, “if I ever see you do this to your little brother, I’m going to make you very, very sorry. Do you understand?”

He looked at me and laughed. Laughed, he laughed! I walked away and didn’t look back I felt like I was in some kind of bad dream or something. I couldn’t imagine what was going to happen next. But I was about to find out.

Each day that went by something unexpected and unpleasant happened. And it always involved my new neighbors. And their close proximity to my home. Which heretofore was uneventful and peaceful. One day I took my children outside to play on their swing set and slide. Only to find that the swings were missing and the chains that held the swings were broken. I just couldn’t imagine what had happened.

Did someone come into my backyard and vandalize the swing set for some unknown reason. I just couldn’t imagine why anyone would do such a thing. My children start crying about their broken swings so I said, ” you know what I think it would be a good idea if we take a walk to the park. It’s such a nice day. What do you say?”

They immediately forget about the broken swings and want to go to the park. I found that distraction is something that always works when kids are upset about anything. So I said, “let’s go it’s a beautiful day for a walk in the neighborhood.” And in less than ten minutes we‘re at the park and the kids run-up to the swings and are laughing.

About an hour later I say, “time to go home and eat lunch. Who wants peanut butter?”

They both yell out, “I do, I do.” And we‘re on our way home. When we got back to our street we stopped at the candy store and I buy them both a pop cycle for after lunch. As we‘re walking past my new neighbors’ house I happen to notice what looks like our swings seats and the chains sitting on the front porch deck. I decide to give the kids lunch and put them down for a nap. I think it would be a good time to go over and have a talk with my new neighbor.

After the kids fall asleep I head downstairs to the kitchen. I wash the dishes and as I start putting them away I see that my neighbor has just pulled up into her driveway and her kids all but fall out of the back door of their car. The older boy grabs his little brother and starts throttling him with both hands around his throat. Meghan says absolutely nothing to either one of them. I open the kitchen door and double-time it across my driveway to her side steps. I yell, at Meghan at the top of my lungs to get her attention and hopefully to stop the homicide I see happening right in front of me.

“Hello, hello, Meghan. Sorry to intrude but someone came over into my yard earlier and broke my kid’s swing set. And I couldn’t help but notice that the swings and the chains are sitting on your front deck. “Oh, yeah, I meant to come over and apologize but I had to run some errands this morning. But you know boys will be boys. And you can only beat them so much. “

“What? Did you say you beat them?”

“Yeah, how else can you teach them?”

“I don’t think beating them changes their behavior. Has it worked so far?”

“Well, no. I guess not. But eventually, it might if I hit them hard enough.”

I looked at her and if looks could kill, she would be lying dead at my feet. Well, I’m going to take the swings and chain back to my house and I’ll ask my husband if he can repair the swings. Can I talk to your boys for a moment?”

“Yeah, go ahead but I have a doctor’s appointment in an hour. So, I don’t have much time to chit-chat. Do you know what I mean? I have a prenatal three-month visit. I hope I have a girl this time. I don’t think I can handle another boy. Say, could you watch my boys it will only be about an hour or so?”
“Prenatal visit? Oh sorry, I didn’t notice.

Congratulations. Sure, I can watch them for an hour or so.

“And maybe I’ll find out whose the lucky father? LOL

“Whose the lucky father?” Oh yeah, of course.” I blinked my eyes a couple of times. I was flabbergasted by the whole conversation. But I did know one thing I was going to get to know John and Rob and I was going to give them a safe haven to spend time in.

“How about they come over and have lunch at my house. And then they can play out back until you come home. I’ll sit outside with them it’s a beautiful day out isn’t it?”

And that my friends is how my daughters and Rob and John started a friendship that lasted for years. And when Meghan had her little girl. I took care of her on occasion. And when she got older. She would come over to my sidestep and keep me company while I was cooking dinner. She could talk my ear off.

Meghan and I just never hit it off. But I came to love her kids. At some point, her husband woke up and they got divorced. And somewhere along the way, her boyfriend went home and never came back. Meghan informed me that she was on the lookout for a new guy. Some people are incapable of learning from their mistakes. And Meghan was one of them.

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