Tag Archives: noise

REPEAT AFTER ME

Blue and Gold Macaw

My best friend Kathleen told me that she is moving out of state to Arizona because she was offered a new job, higher pay, and a promotion. I can’t lie I was devasted by the news.  She lived on the same block as I did. We were in the same classroom all through grade school. When we graduated from high school we attended the same Junior College, but I went on to university and she got a job as an office manager and head accountant at a law firm. I had my heart set on becoming a famous writer. And to that end, I applied at Temple University in Philadelphia and went on to get my Master’s Degree.

Meanwhile, Kathleen moved slowly but surely up that corporate ladder. And by the time I was working at the Philadelphia Inquirer as a cub reporter by day and wrote short stories at night and sent them off to all the local magazines. Meanwhile, in my free time, I was working on a novel that I hoped would finally launch me into the public eye as an up-and-coming author.

Kathleen wrote me occasional emails and about once a month we would get together for drinks and dinner. The last time I saw her we went to the Medford Inn for dinner. It is a posh restaurant about thirty minutes from my home. Sometimes it takes a month to get your name on the waiting list for dinner reservations. But Kathleen was a rising star and she had no difficulty getting reservations anywhere. Meanwhile, I was working out the kinks in my latest novel and I hoped and prayed that this book would make it to the best sellers list so I could quit my reporter’s job and spend all my time writing. 

As I was saying Kathleen contacted me by text and ask me to meet her at the Medford Inn for dinner on Friday night at seven o’clock. I was so excited just to get out of my tiny apartment and out into the real world. It took me an hour to finally decided on what outfit to wear. I really can’t afford to shop where Kathleen does. However, I do shop in thrift shops that only accept top-of-the-line clothes. And the prices can’t be beaten. Designer clothes that look like they just came off the rack at Berghoff Goodman and probably did, but were worn maybe two or three times before. 

So, I was right on time as usual but Kathleen as usual was late. After about a half hour when I was beginning to lose my patience with her, she came strolling in the door. When she walked through that door all eyes were riveted on her. I have never seen her look more beautiful. If I didn’t love her like a sister, I would have been green with jealousy. She walked over to my table and leaned over and kissed me on my left cheek. But there was something about her expression that made me worry. I hoped it wasn’t bad news. She told me about a month ago that her mother wasn’t well. I hoped she hadn’t taken a turn for the worse. 

Kathleen sat down across from me and took my hand. “Ellen dear, I have some good news and some bad news.” 

 I swallowed hard and said, “oh no is your mother alright?” 

“My mother, oh no, actually she is feeling much better. Let’s order some wine and I’ll tell you my news.” About ten minutes later I said, “come on Kathleen spill the beans. I can’t take the tension anymore. I’ve been on pins and needles since you told me you had news to tell me. So, tell already, enough.” 

“Well, I just got offered a new job, and no lie. It’s what I’ve been dreaming about doing since I graduated from school. And I’ve been working my butt off ever since. And I finally got the big payoff.  

 The bad news is that I have to move to Arizona. My company is opening up a new office there and I am going to be the Vice President and hopefully at some point president. I am really over the moon at this point. I’m so excited. And in addition, I was given the option of taking my office staff with me.” 

“Wow, congratulations I have no words. I’m so proud of you. I always knew that you would be a success but this promotion is awesome. And you deserve it. You are one of the most intelligent, hardworking people I know. “ 

“Oh, and there’s one move thing Ellen, I have a big favor to ask.” 

“Oh, you know Harry?” 

“Harry, Harry who?” 

“My parrot, Harry. “ 

“Oh yeah, Harry. I forgot all about him. What about him?” 

“Could you take him, I’m going to be so busy with my new job and responsibilities that I won’t have any time to spend with him. I don’t want to give him to a stranger. I love him. What do you say?” 

“I don’t know what to say, I would do anything for you. But, take your parrot. I mean parrots take a lot of time and are messy and they live a long, long time. And he’s really noisy, isn’t he? I have to have peace and quiet when I’m writing. I can’t have a bird squawking all night and day.” 

“Please Ellen, I’m begging you. I asked everyone that I know and you’re my last hope. I don’t know what else to do. I don’t want to give him to a stranger. I know you will come to love him. He is a lot of company and he’s brilliant. He learns new words easily. He’ll keep you company. You spend so much time alone. It will be good for you. I’ll buy all his food and treats for him before I leave. I’ll trim his claws tool. Please, please I never really ask you for a big favor before. You’re my best friend and I trust you.” 

“OK, OK. I’ve never really been able to say no to you. When are you leaving?”  

“Well, next week. I know that’s short notice. But I got to get this new office up and running asap. What is a good time for me to bring him over, how about at the end of the week on Friday at noon time?” 

“OK, well congratulations on your new job. I’ll miss you like crazy. This will be only the second time we will be living so far apart. But I guess it would have happened sometime. So, I better get going I have a lot of rewriting to do today. I only have five more chapters to go through and then I’ll be sending my new book to the publishers. I’m hoping this book will be the one that gets my books in all the bookstores and finally make a decent living.” 

“You know that I think you are one of best writers I know. I’ll keep my fingers and toes crossed for you. But you don’t need good luck, you’re the best writer I know. So, I’ll see you tomorrow at about noon with your new best buddy.” 

The next day at twelve noon sharp Kelly walked slowly to her front door as her doorbell rang over and over again. “I’m coming, I’m coming. Take it easy already. Kelly peeked out the front window and saw a strange-looking face looking back at her and nearly screamed. When she realized it was Harry the parrot looking back at her. She forgot how big he was. She opened the door and there stood Kathleen with Harry in tow.  

“Good lord, I forgot how big Harry was. What kind of parrot is he Kathleen? He s a Macaw Kelly. I know you too are really going to get along like gangbusters. There’s never a dull moment when Harry’s around. Can you hold him for a few minutes while I bring all his stuff into the house? He has a big cage, but I only put him in it a night. Where do you want his cage ?” 

“Where did I want it? I forgot he even had a cage. I guess you’ll have to put it on the back porch it’s enclosed and I can put a portable heater in there.” 

“Oh, I also have a big perch that he sits on when he’s inside. You might want to put newspaper underneath it and change the papers every day. He doesn’t really make too much mess, but you have to clean off his perch and clean out his cage. Maybe you can go get his perch from the back of my van and I’ll hold Harry for you. Then you’ll have to get newspapers to put under the perch.” 

OK, I’ll go get the perch and anything else I can carry in while I’m at it. As Kelly walked out of the car, she started to feel like this was going to be one of the worse mistakes of her life. How was she ever going to concentrate with that giant bird screaming all day and night? When she got to the car, she saw what appeared to be a bunch of tree limbs tied together. It was huge. She said, “good lord, out loud. “This is too much what have I gotten myself into?” 

Kelly pulled the perch out of the car, dragged it to the front door, shoved it in, and slammed the door shut. And that is when she heard the most horrible noise she ever heard. Kelly screamed. “Oh my god, what is that freaking noise?” 

“Oh, that was just Harry, you startled him. He’ll be fine once he gets used to his new environment. Oh, by the way, you may want to put away anything that is easily broken, Harry likes to chew on things and his beak is really strong. And until he gets used to you. Don’t put your fingers near his beak. But, don’t say anything you don’t want to be repeated. Oh,  and he can fly.” 

 So, don’t leave the window or doors open. Only let him outside if he is in his big cage. This is a step-up stick, you put it in front of him and say “step-up, step-up Harry.” And he’ll step up onto the stick and then you can put him in his cage. Here I’ll demonstrate, Kathleen put Harry on the back of the couch and then got the pick-up stick and put it in front of Harry and said, ’step up, step up Harry. And Harry immediately stepped up. See, isn’t that easy. Whenever he does something, he’s told you can reward him with a treat like a peanut.  Harry shelled the peanut and swallowed one after the other. Then he let out a sound that sounded like a fat man doing a belly laugh. 

“Good lord, he is so loud.”  

“You’ll get used to it. OK, I’m going to go get the rest of his stuff.  

“There’s more?” 

Thirty minutes later Kathleen had all Harry’s stuff in the house. Ellen was on the verge of a nervous breakdown and her heart was beating like a snare drum. She thought she might be having some kind of anxiety attack as Kathleen was at the front door and was about to leave for good. Kelly wanted to scream no, no don’t go. Take this freaking bird with you, I can’t do it. I just can’t. But she didn’t say anything. She couldn’t get the words out of her mouth. And then before she knew it Kathleen was gone, on her way to her fabulous future.  

 She was standing in her newly carpeted living room which now was festooned with giant splats of bird excrement. Kelly started to silently cry. And then she heard someone else sobbing too. It was Harry. He sounded exactly like Kelly, exactly. Kelly didn’t know if she wanted to continue crying or start laughing. Harry stared at her and he started laughing. Then they were both laughing and crying at the same time. 

By the end of the week, Kelly found out that Harry was company, loud obnoxious company. But there was never a dull moment. Sometimes Kelly would read what she was writing out loud to Harry and he would laugh and sometimes cry. And the weird thing was he seemed to laugh and cry at just the right times. Between writing and cleaning Kelly was making progress with her book. And she found herself waking up early in the morning because Harry was calling out for peanuts. And sometimes he would make insightful comments like, “get rid of that guy.” And Kelly thought yeah, Harry’s right I should get rid of that guy. And then she would be inspired in another direction.

By the end of the month, she had finished her book and had a great concept for another book. She was starting her next book when she got a call from her publisher that he loved her new novel and the idea for her next book and send her a big fat check in advance. 

Kelly went over to Harry on his perch and waved her check and said, “can you believe it we finished that book and I got an advance? Do you have any more ideas, Harry? “ 

Harry gave her the side eye and said, “Yes, Harry has plenty of ideas.” And he laughed as loud as he could. And so began the great partnership of Harry and Kelly.  

 

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