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LIFE AS I KNOW IT

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Did you spend most of your working life looking forward to the years that you would be able to retire and spend all your time doing things that you loved? And put behind you the humdrum, repetitious decades of working for a living? Working nine to five every week, week after week, month after month, and year after year? 

I have had many different types of jobs over my lifetime. When I was in my senior year of high school, I was offered a part-time job that would transition to a full-time dental assistant when I graduated from high school.

I hadn’t given too much thought to what I would do after my high school graduation, so I said, “yes, I would like to do that. And that is how I began my working life. I worked for Dr. Edward G. Wozniak for almost five years. After that, I sold high-risk auto insurance with the Ellis Brothers in Collingswood, NJ. This was a great job because the owners of the insurance firm, Evie and Harry Ellis, didn’t like working and would take my two workmates and me out to breakfast every morning. And they looked for any opportunity to skip work.

But then I started seeing a young man who I eventually married, and I moved to Florida. I was twenty-two. I decided to go to hairdressing school at the Florida Beauty Academy in West Palm Beach because I was laid off from an insurance company that I worked for in West Palm Beach after it went bankrupt. At the time, Florida businesses would only hire people who lived in Florida for at least six months.

I had difficulty getting a job at a hair salon. So I started looking for a job that required a license to do hair and facials. And luckily, I found out about a position at the Collonaides Hotel from a friend who attended hairdressing school with me, Maggie Waisanen. She was a woman in her early fifties, but we just hit it off, despite a thirty-year age difference. She was hired at the Collonades as well. She was giving massages.

I was hired to do facials at the Collonaides Health Center at the Collonaides Hotel on Singer Island. The hotel was owned by John D MacArthur, a well-known developer, and hotel owner. Whose wealth is better known today by the John D. and Katherine T. MacArthur Foundation, still a major holder of Palm Beach. He was about eighty-five years old at the time I met him. I used to see him sitting out by the built-in pool with his nurse. He was one of the wealthiest men in Florida at that time. After several years my husband Bob decided that he wanted to attend Brooks Institute for Photography in Santa Barbara, California.

And so Bob and I packed up our belongings, and we were on our way across the country from Florida to Santa Barbara, California. It was a ten-day drive, but it was a beautiful and scenic trip that I will never forget. Bob attended Brooks for three years. I worked at St. Vincent’s School as a counselor and as the assistant Supervisor. I took care of twelve adolescent girls who were mildly retarded. I have to say that this was my favorite job that I have had so far. I came to love those children with my whole heart, and it was difficult to say goodbye when Bob finished school at Brooks.

We decided to move back to New Jersey. I hadn’t lived in New Jersey for seven years, and I missed my family. Bob found employment, and after a short time, Bob decided he wanted to buy a house. Bob had served in the Navy during the Viet Nam war, so he was eligible to use Veteran’s benefits to purchase a house. And we were able to buy the house with no downpayment. It was located in Pennsauken, New Jersey, a short drive from Maple Shade, NJ. Where I grew up, and my parents still lived.

I found out I was pregnant within a year after we moved to our new house. Bob was working in Pennsylvania at the time. We had two children in four years. I stayed home with my children for seven years until they were in school. I was thirty-six by then, and I decided to go to college since I never had the opportunity to do that when I graduated from St. Mary of the Angels high school.

I applied to Temple University in Philadelphia, Pa, at the Tyler School of Art. I also applied to the Hussian School of Art and Moore College of Art. Which was an art school for women only. I was accepted at all the schools. I decided to attend Temple because they offered me a full scholarship for the first year. I was the only adult student in the Freshman Class. The rest of the class were straight out of high school and were seventeen or eighteen years old. It was a unique and challenging experience for me. I graduated four years later with a 4.0-grade point average and a BA and Art teaching certification. Later I earned a degree to teach exceptional children. (handicapped) 

I decided, after spending several months trying to get an art teaching job in public schools with no success, to open up my own art classes. At the time, the public schools had stopped funding Art Education in the Public Schools. We purchased a large home in Pitman, Nj. The house had formerly belonged to a neuropsychologist. He saw his patients in the home. After he passed away, the house was empty for eight years. I used his offices to teach art. The students were aged five and up to eighteen. And I taught adults in the evening. And that is what I did for many years.

The years seemed to fly by as my children grew up and attended college. My oldest daughter moved out and was married. Before I knew it, Bob and I were of retirement age, and we started planning on selling our home of twenty-four years and looking for a place to retire. We decided on North Carolina because of the temperate climate and the low real estate taxes.

And here I sit, fifty-plus years later, retired. Or my version of retired. And by that, I mean I retired and started collecting Social Security.

I hadn’t been living in North Carolina longer than a month when I decided that I wanted to start doing some type of volunteer work. I investigated all the opportunities available in the area. And I finally decided that I would volunteer for the Guardian Ad Litem. Which is a volunteer citizen to represent at-risk children in the court. I had to take a college course and be certified in order to serve as a Guardian Ad Litem in the court.

Unfortunately, it turned out that the volunteer position with the Guardian ad Litem took a great deal more of my time than I realized it would. And after a year, I decided that it wasn’t for me. Although I respected the work they did to be outstanding and to be highly beneficial to children at risk of abuse and neglect.

At the same time, I decided I would like to volunteer at an Animal Sanctuary as I have always loved animals as far back as I can remember. I found an animal sanctuary, Animal Edventure, that Is in Coats, NC, and was only a fifteen-minute drive from where I live. I have been working there for six years, three mornings a week, taking care of Parrots, Macaws, and pheasants.

In addition, I started writing a blog online that includes short stories and memoirs. I have been writing all my life, but this was the first time that I ever had anyone read my stories. It took courage to put my writing out there. But here I am, almost five years later.

I have no regrets about my life or my experiences. I never let fear stop me. I always had faith in my ability to be a success in whatever I did. I look back over my life and have good memories of the places I have lived and the people I have met and befriended. And the accomplishments that grew from hard work and perseverance, and keeping faith in myself and my abilities.

I know that I will continue to create both my artwork and my writing for as long as I have breath in my body. I can not imagine a life without expressing my creativity in some way. Who knows where life will take me next? I look forward to many more challenges. Life is short so be sure to live every day to the fullest.

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REPEAT AFTER ME

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Blue and Gold Macaw

My best friend Kathleen told me that she is moving out of state to Arizona because she was offered a new job, higher pay, and a promotion. I can’t lie I was devasted by the news.  She lived on the same block as I did. We were in the same classroom all through grade school. When we graduated from high school we attended the same Junior College, but I went on to university and she got a job as an office manager and head accountant at a law firm. I had my heart set on becoming a famous writer. And to that end, I applied at Temple University in Philadelphia and went on to get my Master’s Degree.

Meanwhile, Kathleen moved slowly but surely up that corporate ladder. And by the time I was working at the Philadelphia Inquirer as a cub reporter by day and wrote short stories at night and sent them off to all the local magazines. Meanwhile, in my free time, I was working on a novel that I hoped would finally launch me into the public eye as an up-and-coming author.

Kathleen wrote me occasional emails and about once a month we would get together for drinks and dinner. The last time I saw her we went to the Medford Inn for dinner. It is a posh restaurant about thirty minutes from my home. Sometimes it takes a month to get your name on the waiting list for dinner reservations. But Kathleen was a rising star and she had no difficulty getting reservations anywhere. Meanwhile, I was working out the kinks in my latest novel and I hoped and prayed that this book would make it to the best sellers list so I could quit my reporter’s job and spend all my time writing. 

As I was saying Kathleen contacted me by text and ask me to meet her at the Medford Inn for dinner on Friday night at seven o’clock. I was so excited just to get out of my tiny apartment and out into the real world. It took me an hour to finally decided on what outfit to wear. I really can’t afford to shop where Kathleen does. However, I do shop in thrift shops that only accept top-of-the-line clothes. And the prices can’t be beaten. Designer clothes that look like they just came off the rack at Berghoff Goodman and probably did, but were worn maybe two or three times before. 

So, I was right on time as usual but Kathleen as usual was late. After about a half hour when I was beginning to lose my patience with her, she came strolling in the door. When she walked through that door all eyes were riveted on her. I have never seen her look more beautiful. If I didn’t love her like a sister, I would have been green with jealousy. She walked over to my table and leaned over and kissed me on my left cheek. But there was something about her expression that made me worry. I hoped it wasn’t bad news. She told me about a month ago that her mother wasn’t well. I hoped she hadn’t taken a turn for the worse. 

Kathleen sat down across from me and took my hand. “Ellen dear, I have some good news and some bad news.” 

 I swallowed hard and said, “oh no is your mother alright?” 

“My mother, oh no, actually she is feeling much better. Let’s order some wine and I’ll tell you my news.” About ten minutes later I said, “come on Kathleen spill the beans. I can’t take the tension anymore. I’ve been on pins and needles since you told me you had news to tell me. So, tell already, enough.” 

“Well, I just got offered a new job, and no lie. It’s what I’ve been dreaming about doing since I graduated from school. And I’ve been working my butt off ever since. And I finally got the big payoff.  

 The bad news is that I have to move to Arizona. My company is opening up a new office there and I am going to be the Vice President and hopefully at some point president. I am really over the moon at this point. I’m so excited. And in addition, I was given the option of taking my office staff with me.” 

“Wow, congratulations I have no words. I’m so proud of you. I always knew that you would be a success but this promotion is awesome. And you deserve it. You are one of the most intelligent, hardworking people I know. “ 

“Oh, and there’s one move thing Ellen, I have a big favor to ask.” 

“Oh, you know Harry?” 

“Harry, Harry who?” 

“My parrot, Harry. “ 

“Oh yeah, Harry. I forgot all about him. What about him?” 

“Could you take him, I’m going to be so busy with my new job and responsibilities that I won’t have any time to spend with him. I don’t want to give him to a stranger. I love him. What do you say?” 

“I don’t know what to say, I would do anything for you. But, take your parrot. I mean parrots take a lot of time and are messy and they live a long, long time. And he’s really noisy, isn’t he? I have to have peace and quiet when I’m writing. I can’t have a bird squawking all night and day.” 

“Please Ellen, I’m begging you. I asked everyone that I know and you’re my last hope. I don’t know what else to do. I don’t want to give him to a stranger. I know you will come to love him. He is a lot of company and he’s brilliant. He learns new words easily. He’ll keep you company. You spend so much time alone. It will be good for you. I’ll buy all his food and treats for him before I leave. I’ll trim his claws tool. Please, please I never really ask you for a big favor before. You’re my best friend and I trust you.” 

“OK, OK. I’ve never really been able to say no to you. When are you leaving?”  

“Well, next week. I know that’s short notice. But I got to get this new office up and running asap. What is a good time for me to bring him over, how about at the end of the week on Friday at noon time?” 

“OK, well congratulations on your new job. I’ll miss you like crazy. This will be only the second time we will be living so far apart. But I guess it would have happened sometime. So, I better get going I have a lot of rewriting to do today. I only have five more chapters to go through and then I’ll be sending my new book to the publishers. I’m hoping this book will be the one that gets my books in all the bookstores and finally make a decent living.” 

“You know that I think you are one of best writers I know. I’ll keep my fingers and toes crossed for you. But you don’t need good luck, you’re the best writer I know. So, I’ll see you tomorrow at about noon with your new best buddy.” 

The next day at twelve noon sharp Kelly walked slowly to her front door as her doorbell rang over and over again. “I’m coming, I’m coming. Take it easy already. Kelly peeked out the front window and saw a strange-looking face looking back at her and nearly screamed. When she realized it was Harry the parrot looking back at her. She forgot how big he was. She opened the door and there stood Kathleen with Harry in tow.  

“Good lord, I forgot how big Harry was. What kind of parrot is he Kathleen? He s a Macaw Kelly. I know you too are really going to get along like gangbusters. There’s never a dull moment when Harry’s around. Can you hold him for a few minutes while I bring all his stuff into the house? He has a big cage, but I only put him in it a night. Where do you want his cage ?” 

“Where did I want it? I forgot he even had a cage. I guess you’ll have to put it on the back porch it’s enclosed and I can put a portable heater in there.” 

“Oh, I also have a big perch that he sits on when he’s inside. You might want to put newspaper underneath it and change the papers every day. He doesn’t really make too much mess, but you have to clean off his perch and clean out his cage. Maybe you can go get his perch from the back of my van and I’ll hold Harry for you. Then you’ll have to get newspapers to put under the perch.” 

OK, I’ll go get the perch and anything else I can carry in while I’m at it. As Kelly walked out of the car, she started to feel like this was going to be one of the worse mistakes of her life. How was she ever going to concentrate with that giant bird screaming all day and night? When she got to the car, she saw what appeared to be a bunch of tree limbs tied together. It was huge. She said, “good lord, out loud. “This is too much what have I gotten myself into?” 

Kelly pulled the perch out of the car, dragged it to the front door, shoved it in, and slammed the door shut. And that is when she heard the most horrible noise she ever heard. Kelly screamed. “Oh my god, what is that freaking noise?” 

“Oh, that was just Harry, you startled him. He’ll be fine once he gets used to his new environment. Oh, by the way, you may want to put away anything that is easily broken, Harry likes to chew on things and his beak is really strong. And until he gets used to you. Don’t put your fingers near his beak. But, don’t say anything you don’t want to be repeated. Oh,  and he can fly.” 

 So, don’t leave the window or doors open. Only let him outside if he is in his big cage. This is a step-up stick, you put it in front of him and say “step-up, step-up Harry.” And he’ll step up onto the stick and then you can put him in his cage. Here I’ll demonstrate, Kathleen put Harry on the back of the couch and then got the pick-up stick and put it in front of Harry and said, ’step up, step up Harry. And Harry immediately stepped up. See, isn’t that easy. Whenever he does something, he’s told you can reward him with a treat like a peanut.  Harry shelled the peanut and swallowed one after the other. Then he let out a sound that sounded like a fat man doing a belly laugh. 

“Good lord, he is so loud.”  

“You’ll get used to it. OK, I’m going to go get the rest of his stuff.  

“There’s more?” 

Thirty minutes later Kathleen had all Harry’s stuff in the house. Ellen was on the verge of a nervous breakdown and her heart was beating like a snare drum. She thought she might be having some kind of anxiety attack as Kathleen was at the front door and was about to leave for good. Kelly wanted to scream no, no don’t go. Take this freaking bird with you, I can’t do it. I just can’t. But she didn’t say anything. She couldn’t get the words out of her mouth. And then before she knew it Kathleen was gone, on her way to her fabulous future.  

 She was standing in her newly carpeted living room which now was festooned with giant splats of bird excrement. Kelly started to silently cry. And then she heard someone else sobbing too. It was Harry. He sounded exactly like Kelly, exactly. Kelly didn’t know if she wanted to continue crying or start laughing. Harry stared at her and he started laughing. Then they were both laughing and crying at the same time. 

By the end of the week, Kelly found out that Harry was company, loud obnoxious company. But there was never a dull moment. Sometimes Kelly would read what she was writing out loud to Harry and he would laugh and sometimes cry. And the weird thing was he seemed to laugh and cry at just the right times. Between writing and cleaning Kelly was making progress with her book. And she found herself waking up early in the morning because Harry was calling out for peanuts. And sometimes he would make insightful comments like, “get rid of that guy.” And Kelly thought yeah, Harry’s right I should get rid of that guy. And then she would be inspired in another direction.

By the end of the month, she had finished her book and had a great concept for another book. She was starting her next book when she got a call from her publisher that he loved her new novel and the idea for her next book and send her a big fat check in advance. 

Kelly went over to Harry on his perch and waved her check and said, “can you believe it we finished that book and I got an advance? Do you have any more ideas, Harry? “ 

Harry gave her the side eye and said, “Yes, Harry has plenty of ideas.” And he laughed as loud as he could. And so began the great partnership of Harry and Kelly.  

 

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LIFE IS SHORT, LIVE IT

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Today started out to be one of the worse and most stressful days of my life. I work as a writer for a magazine, and I’m required to come up with a new story every two weeks. But unfortunately, I have been experiencing one of the most difficult writing blocks I’ve ever had.

I only have three days left to come up with a story and write it, and then submit it to my boss. I’ve been warned that if it is late, they will be letting me go. Because I’ve had this block for the past six months. And I’ve only skated by the skin of my teeth. The more I try to come up with an idea, the worse it gets.

And then, about a week ago, it occurred to me that I needed to get out of my office and go out and experience the world. And I hoped that I’ll be inspired by someone or something. And I remembered that when I was going to college, I used to take the public bus back and forth from my parent’s house to Philadelphia every day. And the characters I used to see and talk to and the stories I overheard were fascinating. And that is when I decided that from now on, whenever possible, I would travel by train or bus.

And so, on Monday morning, I headed down to the bus stop to catch the 317 bus to Philadelphia. I live on the New Jersey side of the Ben Franklin Bridge, and it‘s only about a twenty-five-minute ride to Philly. I was psyched. It took me back to my college days.

Here I was, standing on the corner of Main Street, sitting on the bench, waiting for the bus to arrive. It was due in the next ten minutes. There were two other people waiting at the bus stop when I arrived at the corner. They were deep in a discussion about whether the Courier Post or the Philadelphia Inquirer was the best newspaper. They didn’t seem to notice that I was even there.

It was the end of October, and the air was a bit chilly. I hoped it would warm up by mid-day. Since I planned on taking the bus back and forth to work and perhaps taking the trolley around downtown Philly. I hoped I would have the opportunity to buy a soft pretzel while I was out and about. I hadn’t had one in years since I attended the Main campus of Temple University as a college student.

After the two older men agreed that both newspapers were decent papers. They started a new discussion about who would win the Super Bowl the Eagles or the Steelers. It seemed as if this debate might come to blows. But luckily, our bus showed up, and we all climbed aboard. I have to admit buses had improved since I graduated from college fifteen years ago. I sat down and watched out the window while the scenery passed by in a blur.

We were approaching the Airport Circle and headed toward the Ben Franklin Bridge towards Philly. The bus was almost full now, and most people were quietly reading the newspaper, or they had headphones on and were listening to music or the news.

As we were crossing the Ben Franklin Bridge, I looked out the window and down at the ships that were below. It really was a beautiful sight from above the Delaware River. As I leaned forward to get a better look, I overheard an older man and woman sitting in front of me, talking to each other. The old man said, ” so how have you been keeping yourself, Maeve? “Oh, fine, just fine. I have a little problem with arthritis. You know, getting up out of the tub or the toilet and sometimes the chair I watch TV in. Oh, I have gas, too, from eating too many spicy Tacos last night.

” Yeah, I noticed that, Maeve. It’s a bit overwhelming to tell you the truth. Maybe you could take something for it?’ Oh, also, I was wondering if you heard how Old Tony is doing. I heard that he’s not doing too well. “Oh, you did. Well, he died, so there’s that. But, it will happen to us all eventually. No point whining about it.”

“Dear god, you could have been a little less blunt about it. Christ on a cracker. When’s the funeral?”

“Well, he was cremated the day of.”

“What do you mean he was cremated the day of?”

“Well, what do you think? The day he dropped dead, that’s when.”

Then they both sighed and went back to staring out the windows at the murky waters below. As I thought about their conversation, I wondered if I, too, would grow used to hearing that my old friends were dropping like flies. It gave me the heebie-jeebies. I leaned back in my seat. And I remembered something my grandmother used to say, “life is a struggle, suffer, and then you die.” I heard myself sigh. I decided to change seats as soon as one of the passengers got off the bus.

I found a seat sitting behind two teenage boys of high school age. I thought I might hear them discussing sports of some kind. The skinny kid on the right says, “what are you talking about a swan is not a bird. Birds fly. They don’t swim.” And then the other kid said, “what the hell are you talking about? Of course, it’s a bird. Lots of birds swim, including ducks and pelicans, and geese. Boy, you are as dumb as they come.”

I began to wonder what kind of education our school children are receiving in America. I hoped some schools were doing a better job than the school these two were attending. I began to worry about the future of our country when their generation grew up.

And just as I was thinking about that, the bus pulled over to pick up another passenger. And I couldn’t believe my eyes. He was the biggest man I’ve ever seen. Not just tall but wide.

In fact, as I saw him ascend the four steps, he started breathing hard, really hard. I thought he might have had a stroke before he got on the bus and paid his fare. He finally reached the summit and was unable to say anything to the bus driver since he was breathing so hard and his face was red like a beet.

I noticed everyone on the bus was staring at the man. Some faces showed fear. Some had their mouths wide open with fascination that such a man existed and moving. And then a couple in the back started laughing. I mean real belly laughs. The big man said nothing. He managed to hand his fare over to the bus driver. We all waited to see what he would do next.

He awkwardly turned to the aisle. And I did not think it was physically possible for him and his amazingly wide girth to fit in the bus aisle, let alone walk down the aisle. I feared he would get stuck. The bus driver turned his head to watch the man’s progress. There was one seat open all the way in the back. The giant turned sideways and sidestepped his way all the way to the empty seat and plopped down onto it. There was a loud farting noise emitted from the bus seat. And the gas that escaped from the compressed seat traveled all the way up the center aisle. It was so noxious that I felt we all might die at once. Only to be found at some later time when the bus caused a back-up of traffic. I could just imagine the headlines, “GIANT MAN KILLS ALL THE PHILLY BOUND PASSENGERS ON THEIR WAY TO WORK WITH ENORMOUS FART. A VIGIL WILL BE HELD IN THEIR HONOR ON FRIDAY EVENING IN FRONT OF THE ART MUSEUM. A MAN WHO PASSED WAS A WELL-KNOWN ARTIST IN THE PHILADELPHIA AREA. HE WILL BE MISSED.”

As I sat there thinking about this, I let out a laugh at my own clever thoughts. All of a sudden, I felt the eyes of all my fellow passengers glaring at me with disdain. I felt my face turn red, but then I felt a sudden urge to laugh. And I couldn’t hold it in. I started laughing, and the more I laugh, the louder I got.

And then I heard someone else laughing and then another until everyone on the whole bus was laughing. And then we heard an enormously loud guffaw. We turned as one and looked in the direction of the sound. It was the GIANT. And then we all laughed again. It was hard to stop, like a sudden cough that makes you cough and cough until you started having trouble breathing all together.

I heard the bus driver say, “OK, folks, we all had a good laugh. Let’s be on our way now.”
And that, folks, is how I started getting over my writer’s block. Because I started living one day at a time. And appreciating the good things in my life and stop taking it all so seriously. Life is short, so live large, be happy, and take one day at a time.

 

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