I grew up in foster care. I can hardly remember what my mother looked like. I do remember her telling me that I was in a lot of trouble and she couldn’t take care of me anymore. I think I was about five years old at the time. Some old lady with grey frizzy hair and thick glasses came to our house. My mother answered the door Then she shoved me and a dirty pillowcase full of my dirty clothes out the door. Then she slammed the door. I could hear her putting the chain across the door.

I felt two tears run down my cheeks and I rubbed them off with the back of my hand. The lady stood there on the outside of the door and knocked hard several times. My mother didn’t open the door. I knew she wouldn’t. My mother never changes her mind. 

The lady said,” well I’m your social worker, Mrs.Walker. That means I will make sure that your needs are met and that you are living in a safe place. The lady took my hand and said, “Dear, I’m taking you to live with a wonderful lady that loves pretty little girls like you. And there are other little kids for you to play with too. And you’ll have a little girl your age to share a room. It’s not too far away. Let’s go.

The lady with the grey frizzy hair helps me get buckled into the back seat of the car. And says,” What do you like to be called, honey?”

“Well, my name is Marguerite. But I like to be called Marty.”

“Well, Marty it is. You will see a lot of me. If you ever have a problem, you can talk to me about it. So, try to relax and you’ll be at your new home in no time at all.”

I sat there in the back seat and I didn’t say another word. I made a promise to myself that I would never let anyone see me cry again. And I never did. If I ever felt like crying again, I would run outside and cry or hide in a closet where no one would see me.

As I was sitting in the back seat, I realize that I didn’t take my stuffed animal, Stuey. He was beaten up and dirty-looking. He was missing one of his button eyes. But he was all mine. I want to start crying again, but I didn’t. I say, “I forgot Stuey, I forgot Stuey.”

“Who’s Stuey, Marty?”

“He’s my best friend, he sleeps with me at night.”

“Oh, is he a stuffed animal Marty?”

“Yes, but I can’t sleep without him.”

“Well, I’ll go get him after I drop you off at your new house. And I will bring him to you. I promise. You can trust me.”

I didn’t trust her. I was sure I would never see her or Stuey or my mother again. I wanted to start whaling and stamping my feet. But I didn’t say anything. I just sat there and it felt like the end of the world to me. Nothing would ever be the same. I didn’t say another word while we got to the house where somebody I didn’t know would take care of me. I couldn’t understand what I did wrong to make my mother stop loving me. I was sure there was something wrong with me. But I didn’t know what it was so I couldn’t change it.

After what seemed to be forever the lady pulled up to the curb in front of a house with a bunch of kids running around in the front yard. “Well, here we are Marty. This will be your new home.” It looked like a nice house. There were toys and bikes all over the front yard.

Some of the kids look about my age but some of the other kids were bigger. The yard was big and had all kinds of flowers and trees. I never really had a yard to play in before. I wish I had Stuey so I wouldn’t feel so alone. I didn’t have anyone to love me anymore. I was going to live here with some lady I didn’t know, and a bunch of kids who probably wouldn’t like me. I squeezed my eyes shut tight. So, I didn’t start crying again.

“Come on Marty let’s get out of the car and go knock at the door. I promise everything is going to be alright. I’m going to give you my phone number so you can call me if you have any problems at all. Any kind of problem no matter how big or small, OK?”

“But I don’t know how to use the phone. Our phone didn’t work because my mom didn’t have money to pay the bill.”

“Really, well before I leave, I will show you how to use the phone and then you can practice doing it while I’m here. I promise you can trust me.”

“Really, you will let me do that?”

“Yes, Marty I will. After you meet Mrs. Taylor, you will see what a nice lady she is and that you can talk to her too. She has been fostering kids for years. And I’ve known her for a long time. I trust her.

As we walk up to the front door a girl about as big as I was came running over. She started talking really fast to me. “Hiya, I’m Missy. I knew you were coming today and I’m so happy because you are going to share a room with me. I always wanted to have a sister. And now I do. Come on in and see our room.”

And then she grabbed my hand and pulled me into the house after she open the door with a bang. I thought for sure someone would come out and yell at us. But no one did.

Then I saw a pretty lady with an apron on come walking towards us. “Oh, there you are I was waiting for you. I’m Mrs. Taylor. I’m so happy you got here before lunch. I’m making grilled cheese sandwiches and chicken noodle soup for lunch. Missy why don’t you go with Marty and show her where the bathroom is and your bedroom. And by then lunch will be ready. Don’t forget to wash your hands.”

Missy grabbed my hand and said,” come on.” And she pulled me by my hand and showed me the bathroom. She quickly washed her hands and then she said, “I’ll be outside the door. Don’t forget to wash your hands after, or you’ll get in trouble.”

“Will I get hit if I don’t do it or I forget?”

“What? No, Mrs. Taylor is really nice you’ll like her. She hardly ever yells.?”

I walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind me. I look in the mirror and I could see my face had tear stains running down my face. My face looked dirty. I guess I didn’t wash myself this morning. Sometimes I forgot and my mother never said anything to me. Sometimes I didn’t have any clean clothes to wear. My mother didn’t always remember to do the wash. She was always sleeping on the couch all day. I don’t know why she was always so tired. She didn’t go to a job. She told me that she got Welfare checks cause she was “sick.” But I never knew why she was sick.  Sometimes she said my dad was a good-for-nothing who didn’t care about me or her. And he never sent her any money to buy food or clothes. Next thing I knew I heard Missy saying, “hey come on out lunch is ready. We are waiting for you.”

When I closed the bathroom door behind me, I hear Missy say,” we’re in here, come on or your food will be cold” When I got to the kitchen the pretty lady and Missy and two little boys were sitting at the table…” Where’re all the other kids?”

“This is the whole gang, you, me, and these two. Mikey and Jimmy. Mikey has curly red hair, and Jimmy has blond hair. The other kids outside are our friends who live down the street. You can meet them later. Dig in.

After lunch, Missy said “now we all help to clear the table and bring the dishes to the sink. But first, you have to scrape the dishes and then wash them. I clean the table. The boys make sure all the chairs are pushed in and put the table cloth back on. If you want to you can dry the dishes after I wash them. And then I’ll show you where they go. We are supposed to brush our teeth after every meal too. Then we can go out and play or watch TV or play games.”

I stood there listening to her transfixed by how happy she sounded talking about how they all work together to get the work done. “OK, I’ll dry the dishes. But I never did that before. My mom always used paper plates and paper cups. She didn’t like washing dishes. She didn’t like to cook either. We always ate MacDonald’s or Burger King for dinner. I used to make myself peanut butter sandwiches for lunch. We never cleaned the kitchen.”

“Really, well everyone helps here. And Mrs. Taylor always cooks a hot lunch and dinner. And on Sunday she makes a homemade cake. My favorite is chocolate cake with vanilla icing. What kind do you like?”

“I don’t know my mom didn’t make cakes.”

“Well, I guess you’ll just have to try all the cakes and find out which is your favorite?”
“

Really, I would love that.”

After we cleaned up the kitchen me and Missy and Mikey and Jimmy went outside and played on the swings in the backyard. Missy pushed me up so high, I started laughing and couldn’t stop. Finally, she slowed my swing down and I jumped off. “That was really fun. I said and smiled from ear to ear. Although I did feel a little sick from swinging right after eating such a big lunch.

“Oh wait, I forgot to show you, our room. You’re going to love it. Come on I’ll show you.”

We ran into the house and Missy ran down the hall past the bathroom and flung open the door to the bedroom. There were two beds in there. And she said, look we got new bedspreads. I picked them out. Why don’t you decide which bed you would like?”

“Really? Oh, I love this pink one with the flowers and the butterflies. Can I have this one?”

“Sure, I like either one. They are both pretty. Why don’t you try it out? See if it’s comfortable.?”

“I never had my own bedroom before. I usually slept on the couch because Mamma had company that stayed in her bedroom with her most of the time. The couch was kind of lumpy and smelly but it wasn’t too bad. I would have loved to have my own bedroom. I love the pink walls. How did you know I liked pink?”

“Oh, I didn’t know silly, it’s my favorite color too. Do you want to put your clothes away.?  Oh, Mrs. Walker has them. Maybe she gave them to your mother they were in a brown paper bag.”

“Oh well, Mrs. Taylor probably put them in the wash. Sometimes the kids that come here don’t have any clothes then she takes them to the store and buys them all new clothes. When I first came here, I only had the clothes I had on. So, I got all new clothes and new sneakers. I never had new clothes before. I always got hand-me-downs. Mrs. Taylor is really nice.”

“How long have you lived here? Where are your mom and dad?”

“I’ve been here for two years. I don’t know who my dad is and my mother is in prison. Sometimes she writes me letters. But I haven’t heard from her in almost a year.”

“My mom told me she doesn’t love me and I was too much trouble and she didn’t want to take care of me anymore.”

Missy looked at Marty and a tear rolls down her face. “Sometimes adults say things they don’t mean. Maybe she was just in a bad mood.”

“She said it to me all the time. She never hugged me.”

Missy came over and gave Marty a hug. “Well, we’re sisters now and sisters love each other. We can make a promise that we will always take care of each other. Do you want to pinky swear?”

“Pinky swear? What does that mean?

Oh, we hold each other’s little fingers and we swear at the same time that we will always be sisters and take care of each other no matter what.”

“Yes, let’s pinky swear. I have always wanted a sister.”

“Ok, this is what we will swear: We will always look out for each other no matter what that we will always be best friends and sisters, no matter where we live or how old we are. Then Marty and Missy held onto each other little fingers and said the oath,” We will always be best friends and sisters, no matter where we live, or how old we are.

Just as we were finished our pinky swear Mrs. Walker called me, “Marty come over here for a few minutes so I can show you how to make a phone call. She told me a bunch of numbers and then pushed the numbers on the phone. “Here now you try it.”

I started to cry again. “What’s the matter, Marty?”

I don’t know my numbers yet, nobody taught me.”

“Oh, of course, you don’t. Why didn’t I think of that? I’ll go and talk to Mrs. Taylor and tell her that you are allowed to call me whenever you need to and I’ll ask her to start teaching you how to recognize and write numbers. How about until you are ready to do that on your own, I will call you every Monday morning at 8:30 before I go to the office?”

“OK. What do I say when you call me?”

“You just say hello, this is Marty. And then you tell me how you’re doing. OK?”

“Yes. OK.” And then I smiled. No one had ever called me and asked how I was doing before.

“Alright Marty, I’m leaving now. But if you have any problems, please let me know. But I think you are going to do wonderfully here. I’m going to go back to your apartment and get Stuey right now and bring him back in a little while. Is that alright with you?”

“Yes, thank you. I can’t wait to show Stuey my new room. I’ll see you in a little while.”

And Mrs. Walker came back that very afternoon with Stuey. And she kept all the promises that she ever made to me. I lived with my pinky sister and Mikey and Jimmy and Momma Taylor until I was old enough to go to college. Missy and I ended up going to the same college in Philadelphia at Temple University. We both decided that we wanted to be Social Workers and help other children to find homes when they were unable to live with their own families.

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