Author Archives: Susan

DOG EARRED BOOKS

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I live in Raleigh, North Carolina in a small townhouse community mostly populated by senior citizens. I started a book club in my little community. And we spend a great deal of our time visiting all the book shops in the area. If we go to a bookshop more than an hour away, we hire a driver to take us in the Community van to drive us back and forth. So, that we can spend the time discussing the latest books we have been reading.

Dog Earred Books

I have to admit that I’ve always been a big reader. For years and years, I read nothing but horror. I have always been drawn to the dark side. I read Lovecraft when I was a teenager. And then went on to read Anne Rice, Stephen King, and Dean Koontz. And I almost forgot to mention Edgar Allen Poe. Oh yes, Edgar Allen Poe and the Tell-Tale Heart. Reading that poem kept me awake for nights on end. The cold-blooded murder of an old man simply because he had a pale blue eye with cataracts gave the wood-be murderer the creeps and reason to kill a sleeping old man.

I too have a vivid imagination. No one that looks at me would ever imagine the things that go on in my mind and my imagination. If I ever brought my thought and nightmares out in the open you would all run from me in terror.

Oh, don’t mind me I just let my imagination run away from me again. I had some spare time while I was waiting for the van to come to pick up me, and my fellow seniors to take a short trip to visit the Dog-Eared Book Store. I have to say that used book stores are the best. You never know what treasures you’ll find. This bookstore sits in a warehouse area. If you didn’t know it was there you would never find it.

Although it was a relatively short ride to the book store we had a lively discussion about horror writers. I brought up Lovecraft. And can you believe it two of our most recent book club members had never read him? In my opinion, The Call of Cthulhu was his best book and the most influential work. The story centers on an ancient dragon that lived in the sea that somehow implants itself into the sub-conscience of human minds and slowly causes them to go insane.

I couldn’t impress upon them the importance of this work by Lovecraft. He didn’t know it at the time but he was creating a whole new writing genre. I was about to explain the importance of this new genre when the van driver said, “Ok everyone we will be staying there no longer than an hour and a half. Please keep that in mind. You have a reservation for lunch at a nearby restaurant and you don’t want to miss that. Meet you here in an hour and a half. Did everyone hear that? Ok, see you then.”

I have a tendency to become somewhat verbose and pedantic when I start discussing horror writers. And I heard more than one person sigh with relief when the driver made the announcement that we had arrived at our destination.”

As we entered the door to the book shop, I couldn’t help but take a deep breath. There isn’t a smell that I enjoy more than the smell of old books. It is intoxicating to say the least. As I walk by the proprietor I say, “hello Stanley, do you have any new books set aside for me?”

“Well, as a matter of fact, I do. I have to get them from the back. When you check out, I’ll show them to you. Have fun until then, Merrill.”

“Really, that’s awesome Stanley. I look forward to reading them. This is turning out to be such a great morning. See you in a little while, Henry.”

And off I went to peruse the stacks. Nothing is more exciting to me than searching through aisle after aisle of books, whether it is in a book store or a library. It’s my idea of heaven. So off I went to look in the horror and science fiction section. As I was flipping through a book, I overhear someone on the next aisle over talking about his plans for the weekend coming up. I wasn’t intentionally listening but I couldn’t help but hear them since they were speaking loudly.

I was about to shush them when I heard one of them say, “and then I’m going to hit her over the head and tie her up and take her to the cabin in the woods. And that will be the last of that bitch. No one will ever hear from her again. And then the other person said,” keep it down everyone is going to hear you.”

I try to peak through the stacks of books to see whose speaking, but at that moment they start moving down the aisle to the back of the store and I can’t see who they are. I can’t say I recognize their voices at all. Maybe they weren’t with my group. Good grief, what should I do? Ignore it, pretend I didn’t hear a thing? Tell the bookstore manager, or maybe I should call the police?

I tried to calm down, my heart was pounding a mile a minute. I was afraid I was going to pass out or maybe throw up. I don’t know which is worse. And then I heard the first guy who spoke says,” so can you help me out here. I don’t think I can work it out by myself? I understand if you don’t want any part of it. But if you could possibly find a way you could. It would be a lifesaver.”

And then I hear the other guy answer. “Well, the way I see it you don’t have any real choice. You have to get rid of that character. She’s really become an issue. Best to be rid of her and you can start over. That’s my advice. I’ll talk to you a little later. I have my own issue to take care of before we head back home. I’ll talk to you in the van.”

“What? Oh sure, no problem. I’ll consider your advice. Meanwhile, I’ll keep looking around and see if anything calls out to me. I’m almost out of books to read.”

“Really, well I hope a solution comes to you. Sometimes it helps if you bounce ideas off of someone who’s not emotionally involved with the problem.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I’ll give it some thought. But what I know for sure is, I can’t live with this for much longer. I have to deal with her one way or another.”

Merrill feels like she’s losing her marbles. Maybe she’s imagining the whole thing. She goes back to perusing the aisles. But the words she overheard keep coming back in her head, “and then I’m going to hit her over the head and tie her up and take her to the cabin in the woods. And that will be the last of that bitch. No one will ever hear from her again. And the other person says,” keep it down everyone is going to hear you.”

She just can’t ignore what she heard or pretend she didn’t hear it. Some woman’s life is at risk. She has to do something and better sooner than later.

Merrill decides to go outside for a few minutes to clear her head. And try to make some sense out of everything that just happened. She now knows that the two people she overheard are a part of her reading group. She knows that one of them is intent on murdering some woman that they despise. She considers her options aside from calling the police. And finally, she decides that she’s going to stick to these two would-be killers and try to talk some sense into them. If they are unwilling to listen, she will threaten to call the police, the FBI, and the CIA if necessary. Whatever it takes.

The next hour seems like it would never pass. She kept following the two killers and making sure that they stayed in the bookstore the whole time and didn’t wander off somewhere. Maybe the woman that the assassin wanted to eliminate was in their reading group. Merrill couldn’t bear the thought that they want to kill any of her lady friends. The more she thought about it the angrier she became. She kept having the obsessive thought, “if they try to harm a hair on one of my friend’s I will hit them over the head with a hot frying pan one of those old cast iron ones that her mother used to have. That would put a real kibosh on their blood-thirsty plans. She tried to stop thinking that thought, but she couldn’t stop it.

Finally, it was time to leave and Merrill went up to the front of the store and asks Stanley the store manager/owner to make the announcement that it is time to check out. That the van would be leaving in fifteen minutes. Stanley says, “Merrill do you still want to get those books I told you about earlier?”

“Oh no, I mean yes, here’s my credit card. After I get everyone rounded up to check out I’ll pick the books up and retrieve my credit card. I look forward to seeing you again soon, take care.”

“Oh sure of course, Merrill, see you soon.” Stanley watches as Merrill walks around the store tapping each person on their right shoulder and telling them it’s time to leave. Stanley could hear a sigh after he tapped each bibliophile on the shoulder. Stanley really loved his customers. They all shared his obsession with books. Stanley was one of the most content people on the planet. He couldn’t imagine doing anything else for a living. Stanley started ringing up Merrill’s purchases and putting them in a bag with her receipt. He put her credit card to the side of the cash register. Where no one could see it except him and he wouldn’t forget to return it to her.

After Merrill reminded everyone that they only had fifteen minutes to gather all their books and check out she walked to the front of the store and was about to leave when Stanley called out to her,” Merrill, don’t forget your books and credit card.”

“Oh, sorry Stanley, I don’t know where my head is today. I’m going to be waiting outside in the van. I’ll be looking forward to reading these books. No doubt that you have chosen books that I will enjoy reading. You know me so well. See you next time. Take care.”

Stanley stared at Merrill as she walked out the door and stepped into the van. And he thought she was acting really weird today. But then the first customer came up to the counter with a stack of books and Stanley soon forgot about Merrill.

Merrill waited in the first seat behind the van driver’s seat she wanted to see where the murderer was going to sit. Not to mention his accomplice who seemed as if murdering some hapless woman like a fine solution to an annoying woman. Merrill was going to sit behind this evil duo. She just couldn’t believe this was happening. She could hardly sit still. About two minutes everyone started making their way to the van and filing in one by one. The assassins were about to step into the van. Merrill’s heart was beating a million miles an hour. She started to feel light-headed. She really had no plan other than listening to what they said and confronting them. Sweat began to pour down her face and armpits. She opens the window and breathes in some fresh air.

The two walks by Merrill and she got up and followed them and after they sat down, she sat directly behind them. And Merrill sat up in her seat as straight as she could and turned her head in their direction and began to listen intently. At first, they seem to be discussing the books they had just purchased, and then as soon as everyone was seated in the van the driver said, “ok, people onward and upward to The Chinese Buffet for lunch.”

Everyone cheered because who doesn’t love a Chinese Buffet, all you can eat restaurant. After a few minutes, they quieted down and talked quietly or stared out the window as they made their way to the restaurant. The two accomplices were chatting away as if rubbing someone out was an everyday event. The heavyset murderer said, so I think I’ll do it tonight, the sooner the better. What’s the point in waiting any longer? It will be a lot of work, but it has to be done.”

And the tall skinny accomplice says” you’re right, don’t be afraid to eliminate her, you know you’ll be relieved when it is all over.”

And it was at that moment that Merrill realizes that she has heard enough, she can’t sit still and listen to these two nightmares of human beings discuss killing some poor woman just because they don’t like her for some reason.

Merrill jumps up out of her seat and yells at the top of her voice,” what the bloody hell do you two think you are up to? I know what you are planning. You are going to murder some poor woman that you think is in your way. I’m calling the police and they are going to drag your sorry asses to the slammer and throw away the key.”

Everyone in the van including the “would-be murderers” look around to see who Merrill is yelling out. And they see she is pointing at the Smith Brothers. The Smith brothers turn around and look at Merrill like she has lost her mind. “Are you talking to us?”

“Yes, of course, I’m talking to you, I heard what you said in the bookstore that you are going to eliminate some woman that woman over the head, and take her to the woods and that would be the last that anyone would ever see that bitch again.:

Everyone in the van was staring at Merrill with eyes and mouths wide open. And then the Smith Brothers started laughing so hard they couldn’t catch their breath.

Merrill shook her head in amazement. And started yelling again, “what the hell is so fricking funny. I’m going to call the cops right now?”

And she was about to do just that when the fat Smith brother said, “I’m not going to murder anyone.”

“Yes, yes, you are. I heard you with my own two ears. Don’t try to squirm out of it.”

“I’m not squirming out of anything. I’m attempting to write my first book. I’ve been an avid reader all my life and I decided that now is my opportunity to try my hand at writing. I had decided to get rid of one of the characters in my book because she wasn’t working out. That’s all. The end. Happy now Merrill?”

Merrill plopped down in her seat with her mouth hanging open. And sat for a moment or two and then said, “I guess I let my imagination run wild. I don’t know what else I can say except I would like to be the first one in line to buy your book. And then everyone started laughing and Merrill looked around and thought the only thing she could do after making a complete ass out of herself just joins in the laughing and that is what she did.

At lunchtime at the buffet that is all anyone could talk about and some of them even acted out the whole scene. And they would all start laughing again, including Merrill.

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THE LAUGHING GOAT

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Nubian Goat

The day I have been looking forward to for the past year has finally arrived. I have literally counted the days I had left to work for the past year.

When I arrived at work, I punched in my security code at the employee entrance. I did a little jig as I walked through the door. My boss happened to be walking past the entrance at the same moment, and she gave me a thumbs up and walks over and shook my hand.

“Congratulations, Marion, you will be missed, but you deserve to have a wonderful retirement. I doubt that we will ever find anyone who can replace you. Your dedication to excellence in every project you worked on and your ability to inspire others to do the same.”

“Thank you, Constance. I have enjoyed working here. But I’m more than ready for a new chapter in my life and new challenges.”

“I have no doubt that you will succeed in whatever you choose to do. What exactly are you going to be doing?”

“Well, I’ve sold my apartment here in Philly, and I bought a small farm out in the country. I’m going to be growing organic vegetables and raising goats and making goat cheese and goat milk.”

“What? you’re kidding?

“Kidding? No, I’m not kidding. That’s exactly what I’m going to be doing. I have been investigating and reading about organic farming and animal husbandry for years.”

“Really, I had no idea. You are constantly surprising me, Marion. I have no doubt that you will be highly successful. I would love to come out and see your farm once you are settled in.”

“Really? Well, sure, as soon as I get everything in order and I have my farm up and running. I’ll let you know. I’ll be leaving on Wednesday. The people that bought my apartment will be moving in Thursday morning. And the family that I bought my farm from has already moved out. It’s a beautiful area outside Philadelphia in Delaware County, or Delco as the locals call it. I purchased all the farming equipment, and my goats will be arriving by the end of the week. I’m starting with six goats at first, and eventually, I will have twenty in my flock, or some people call it a toop.”

“Well, Marion, I’m impressed. Good luck, and let us all know how you’re doing.”

“I will. Thanks, Constance. Sorry if I bent your ear. I know I have the tendency to be long-winded. I have enjoyed working under you. You are an excellent supervisor. I’ve learned a great deal about organization from you. That will no doubt benefit me in my new career.” Marion and Constance shake hands and depart. Marion headed toward the break room to get a cup of coffee.

When she walked in, she was surprised by all her workmates yelling, “Congratulations, Marion and giving her a round of applause. Marion was so flabbergasted that she almost fell over. Her office mate and friend, Katie, ran over and gave her a big hug. And then everyone came over and shook her hand or patted her on the back.

“Wow, I’m shocked I had no idea you were going to do this. Thank you all so much. I’m overwhelmed. And Marion starts to go walk over to the coffee machine, and she realizes there is a huge cake with green icing and a barn on it with a fence in an area where little goats are grazing on the green icing. “Oh my god, this is amazing. Did you do this, Katie?”

“Well, I ordered the cake, but we all helped decorate the room, and if you look to the left, you’ll see a pile of gifts for you and your new life out in the sticks.” But I do have to admit I had trouble finding the little barn and fence and goats to decorate the cake. I finally found them online. They are toys for little kids. I knew you would like it.”

“Like it? I absolutely love it.” And she gives Katie a big hug. This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

“Well, you deserve it, Marion. You are the one that has trained most of us in our current positions. And you have always been there for us and helped solve any technical issues we had. Why don’t you sit down and open your gifts?”

Marion walked over to the pile of gifts and started opening them. Some of them were envelopes. She opened them first, and they were all cards and gift certificates to The Tractor Store. “Thank you, guys. I know these gift certificates will come in handy.”

The second gift she opened held two pairs of denim overalls. When Marion opened these, she started laughing. “Won’t I be the bell of the ball in these lovely overalls?”

Everyone started laughing because Marion had previously been known for her hip dress attire with never a hair out of place. It was hard to imagine her living on a farm in rural Pennsylvania living on a farm and raising goats. It was impossible to imagine her milking goats and making Feta cheese.

The last box she opens is huge, and Marion can’t imagine what the package holds. She picks up the box, and it’s as light as a feather. She opens it up and finds a cashier’s check from the company president for $10,000. Marion is amazed. She holds up the check for everyone to see. And her friend, Howard, who is the Chief Financial Officer, shouts out, “and you deserve every penny of it. You have brought so many new accounts into our company over the years. I know you will be a success in your new enterprise.”

Marion has tears running down her face and can’t speak for several minutes and then finally says, “well, let’s get down to business and cut this cake. And everyone starts laughing and comes up and shakes Marion’s hand and wishes her all the luck in the world.”

“Thank you, everyone. I want everyone to know that you are welcome to come and visit at any time once I get myself moved in and everything under control. I will definitely send you all invitations to my open house. I’ll miss you all.” And then tears start running down her cheeks. And she doesn’t wipe them away. She has no regrets, although she will miss these people with all her heart. They are like family to her.

After everyone enjoys some cake and coffee, they start heading back to their respective offices to start their day. Marion goes back to her office to finish closing up some of her files. And then handing them off to the people who will be taking them over. She can’t believe how quickly thirty years flew by. The only time she believes it is when she looks in the mirror and sees a face that is no longer young but still full of life. She is so looking forward to her new life. As she has always looked forward to a new challenge. She has never failed before and trusts that she will succeed in her new endeavor.

At the end of the day, she stops by her closest friend and workmate’s desks and shakes her hand. Katie hugs her again and says,” You better call me as soon as you get settled in so I can come to see your new home and meet your goats. You know, I don’t think I’ve ever said that to anyone before. And she smiles and laughs and then starts crying. I’ll miss you so, but I know you will be happy in your new life, goats and all.

As Marion heads back to her apartment, she feels equal amounts of happiness and sadness but no regrets at all about her decision to retire. She is looking forward to her new life at the Laughing Goat. That is what she decided to call her farm. Because goats always seem to be laughing when they neigh or bleat. And recently, Marion found out that goats from different areas have different accents. And that young goats bleat differently when they are bleating at other “kid” goats. Humans always think that they are superior to those creatures in the animal world, but the fact is we are not as superior as we seem to think we are.

Marion pulls into the driveway of her apartment complex and into her parking spot. She has lived in this apartment for the better part of her life. She has been happy here. She knows many of the tenants. She will miss them as she will miss her workmates. Marion has always accepted the fact that every time you gain something, you lose something at the same time.

Marion gets out of her car and locks it, opens up her trunk to get out all the packages, and then decides against it. After all, she will be moving tomorrow, so there’s no point in taking it out of the car. Tomorrow morning, she will rearrange things in her car so she can fit her personal belongings like her computer and a change of clothes. And a set of sheets and towels to use at her new home tomorrow. The movers were here today and took the bulk of her belongings and furniture to the farm. She had told them to leave the air mattress in her bedroom along with her change of clothes and her computer.

Today had been an especially emotional day, and she needed to calm herself down and decompress. She hoped she would be able to go to sleep. Sometimes when she got overwrought, she couldn’t fall asleep at all. She decided to take a hot bath, drink a cold beer, and hit the air mattress. And she did just that, and when she finally did flop down on the air mattress, she fell asleep as soon as she closed her bloodshot eyes.

The next morning, she woke up at 7:30 with a start. She let the air out of her mattress. And she took a quick shower and got dressed, ran a brush through her curly grey hair, and started taking her few remaining belongings to her car. She managed to fit everything in by some miracle. She put her purse and computer in the passenger seat and took one last look at what had been her home for almost twenty years. She felt equal amounts of nostalgia and excitement.

She pulled out of the driveway of the complex and headed toward the highway and her new home and new life. At the last moment, before she got on the highway, she decided to pull into a fast-food restaurant to get a large coffee. And then she was on her way to beautiful Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. It was about an hour and a half drive.

And before she knew it, she was pulling into the gravel driveway of her new home. It was a beautiful Spring Day, and the sun was shining. It was breathtaking how beautiful this part of the country is. Marion can hardly believe she’s made this all happen. She pulls up to the house, and she sees the moving company arrived. And they are in the process of unloading the furniture and bringing it into her new home. It’s a typical house built in the late 1950s, but it has been beautifully maintained. There are red and yellow tulips blooming all around the front porch.

Marion steps out of her car and stretches, and takes a deep breath of the country air. It’s wonderful. She walks up to the steps on the front porch and into her new home. She peeks in the door and waves at the movers, and says, “hello, I’m Marion Wilkes. Thank you for arriving on time. Let me know if you need anything. I’m going to be checking out the house. I won’t be far.

Marion had hired painters to come in and paint the interior of the house last week before the movers arrived. It looks just as she hoped it would, bright and welcoming. She decides to go upstairs to her bedroom and see how it looks. It was supposed to be painted periwinkle blue. One of her favorite colors. As she walks into the bedroom, she notices that all of her bedroom furniture is in place, and she immediately starts to feel at home.

She says out loud, “Oh, it’s just as I imagined it would look.” She knows it will only look better once she gets her art up on the walls.  Just then, she hears one of the movers call up to her, “can you come down here for a few minutes and make sure we are putting everything in the right place?”

“Yes, I’ll be right there after I make a trip to the ladies’ room.”

When she came downstairs, the movers were bringing in the living room couch and recliner. Marion walked over to the place where she wanted the couch and said, “right here is perfect. Also, I would like the coffee table in front of the couch here. And the side table to the left of the couch. I take care of the small things like the lamps if you can just bring them in and put them over there by the back wall.

An hour and a half later, everything was in the house and in place except for the paintings and photographs and wall mirrors. She hasn’t decided where she wants yet. She would have to live with it for a while until she decided. The movers were just bringing in the last items. She said, “thank you so much. You all did a great job. She handed the young man closest to her a tip. “This is for all of you, be careful on your way home. They turned and walked out the front door. Marion watched as they drove away.

Marion spent the next hour putting dry goods in the kitchen and then made a list of food she would need to buy tomorrow. She knows she’s too tired to go food shopping today. Tomorrow she is going to be extremely busy getting the small barn ready for the goats and making sure all the post and rail fences are secure. Sometime tomorrow afternoon, she expects her goats to be delivered. She hired a local carpenter to come out and double-check her fences before the goats arrived. Which was late tomorrow afternoon.

The rest of the day and into the early evening, Marion did her best to get her personal belongings into her clothes closet and dresser drawers. And right before she was about to call it a day. She put all her bathroom essentials into the medicine cabinet in her personal bathroom and the half-bath downstairs. She couldn’t believe how much she had accomplished in one day. She decides to watch a movie on the internet, and then she realizes that she forgot to have an internet connection. Thank goodness she at least had the water and electricity connected. Marion took a long hot bath and then fell into bed without eating any dinner. She was too tired to even think about making anything to eat.

She woke up when her stomach started growling. It was six o’clock in the morning, and the sun was just beginning to rise. It was another beautiful day. So, she made some instant coffee and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and sits on the porch until the sun was high in the sky. She thought about her goats that would arrive before the end of the day. And the thought alone made her smile.

Her immediate plan was to purchase Junior Does, that are already pregnant. And they would arrive late this afternoon.  And in that way, she would only have to wait five months to start collecting the milk. Unfortunately, she had to pay a breeding fee. Meanwhile, Marion would be setting up her barn to start making cheese a lot sooner. It wasn’t really about money. It was Marion’s desire to start her new life as soon as possible. She had been planning this for a long time.

After Marion had dressed, she made up a list of the things she needed to buy. She had the hay delivered to the barn a couple of days ago. And, of course, the goats would be out in the field most of the day eating. She filled up the troth with fresh water and then set her GPS up to direct her to the nearest food store.

And she was on her way. When she arrived at her destination, she didn’t find a big box food store. She found a Mom and Pop grocery. And although it was charming in its own way, she was certain that she wouldn’t find all the things on her list. She parked her car and locked it out of habit and walked up to the door, and walked through.

She heard the jingle-jangle of a bell at the top of the door. It was reminiscent of her childhood when her mother used to send her to the corner store. She halfway expected Mr. Fuelle to be standing at the counter. He owns the little Mom and Pop store in the little town she grew up in. But of course, it wasn’t him. He died fifty years ago.

There was a cheerful, middle-aged woman with bright, red, frizzy hair at the counter. “Let me know if there is anything you can’t find. I’ll be glad to help you. I’m the proprietor here.”

“Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind. I just moved to the old Sutter place yesterday.” Marion grabbed a cart and started walking up and down the aisles. She was pleasantly surprised by how well-stocked it was for such a small store. It looked like she could get almost everything she needed here.

When she got up to the counter, she realized that the counter was a glass case with candy in it. In fact, it looked like all the candy she used to eat as a kid, including red hot dollars, candy cigarettes, and her favorite black licorice. “Wow, I’m impressed with your store. I’m so glad I came here.”

“Well, we’re small, but I pride myself on keeping my customers happy. If there is anything that you want and it’s not here, and you will want to buy it often, let me know, and I will get it for you, even specialty items. By the way, my name is Thelma Rice.”

“Hello Thelma, my name is Marion. It’s a pleasure to meet you. And you can be assured I will be a return customer. How much do I owe you?”

“That will be forty dollars and forty-nine cents.”

“Really? Thanks so much. I look forward to visiting you again soon, Thelma.”

“Well, Marion, I’m happy to hear that. On your way out, look at the bulletin board, and you’ll see a list of all the local tradespeople and any activities that are taking place in the local area. Feel free to take a copy. See you soon.”

On her way out the door, Marion did grab one of the calendars. She looks forward to reading it over her next meal. Her spirits were lifted by her visit to the store and meeting Thelma. She hoped everyone in the area would be as cheerful and helpful.

She saw a gas station across the road and decided to stop and get her car filled up. She didn’t know how many gas stations were in the immediate area. When she pulled up to the gas pump. It wasn’t a self-serve, so she waited for someone to come outside and wait on her. In about two minutes, a young man with red hair came over and said, “Can I help you?”

“Yes, thank you. Could you fill it up and check the oil?”

“Sure, can, Mam.”

“Oh, I just moved to the area. I’m sure you’re going to see me often. So please call me Marion.”

“Sure, Mam, I will. I mean Marion.”

Marion laughs and says, “do you take credit or debit cards?”

“Yes, Mam, I mean Marion. We take both.”
“Here you go, by the way. What’s your name? Did you know you have the exact shade of red hair as the Thelma Rice across the street at the food store?”

“Yes, mam, I mean Marion. That’s because she’s my mother.”

He handed her the card back and said, “have a great day.”

“I’m sorry I forgot to ask your name.”

“Oh, my name is Frank. But most people call me Red.”

“Alright, Red, I’ll see you next time I need a fill-up. I hope you have a wonderful day.

As Marion made her way home, she couldn’t help but notice the beautiful scenery along the way home. It was unspoiled. There wasn’t any trash on the roadside, or anywhere she saw so far. It was just pristine. It looked like it had remained as it must have looked fifty years ago. Her heartfelt light, and there was a big smile on her face.

On the way home, she kept singing, today my goats are coming, today my goats are coming. As if it was a song. And then she looked at the clock on the dashboard and was immediately concerned that the goats might already have arrived and she was going to be late. Her heart started beating faster. It was only 9:45, and she had plenty of time. She needed to calm down.

She arrived at her street and turned left, and drove up to her driveway up to the garage. And jumped out of the car and started quickly bringing the groceries into the house. She had to remind herself again to slow down and calm down. She really couldn’t remember any time in the past when she got herself this wound up. She tried taking deep, cleansing breaths. That seemed to help until she kept doing it, and she started to feel light-headed. “Good grief, what is wrong with me?”

And then the phone rang. “Hello, is this Marion?”

“Yes, who’s calling, please?”

“This is Chester. I’m bringing six goats to you. We are about fifteen minutes from your house. We made good time. Will you be at home?”

“Yes, it so happens I will be. You weren’t supposed to arrive until after lunch.”

“I know, as I said, we made good time. See you in about fifteen minutes.” And then he hung up abruptly.

Marion began hyperventilating. She plopped down on the ground and slowed her breathing. In a few minutes, she regained control of herself. She decided to get a glass of cold water and sit on the porch until they arrived. By the time they arrived, she was more like her usual self, in control of her emotions. And then, the truck arrived and parked next to the fenced-in pasture. Marion got up and walked over to the pasture and up to the truck cab.

“Marion?”

“Yes, of course. And you must be Chester. So how do you go about getting six goats into the pasture without them running away?”

“We’ll get the goats into the fenced-in area. But I’ll tell you right now, and there ain’t no way you’ll get them to stay in there. If they want to get out, they will. As long as they have some decent food and fresh water, they’ll stay. But then again, you just never know. They might just jump over the fence or even get out under the fence. But ready or not, here they come.”

Chester and another lanky guy who looked about sixteen herded the goats inside the corral. There you go, mam, good luck. These are some nice goats. Take care of them. You know they are all pregnant, right?”

“Of course, I’m going to make goat cheese from their milk. As soon as the babies can be weaned. “

“Really? Did you ever do this before?”

“Well, no, but I’ve been studying and learning about it for a couple of years. I’m sure it will all work out fine.”

“If you say so, Mam, make sure they have plenty of fresh hay and grass otherwise, they’ll start eating the bark off of them trees over there. And give them plenty of fresh water. Hear? Take care, Mam, and good luck. As they were walking away, the two men were laughing.”

Marion stood next to the fence and watched as her goats ran all over the field for about fifteen or twenty minutes, had a drink of water, and then started eating. None of them looked her way. Marion knew this would all take time, but she was not a quitter. She stood and watch her goats. And they were just beautiful. In her head, she started naming them. Beatrice, Agnes, Cindy, Maddy, Josephine, and Marie after her mother.

The goats seemed content in the field, and it didn’t look like they had any plan to jump the fence and escape. So, Marion decided to go into the house and put some jeans and a tee shirt on. And then come outside and try to get acquainted with her goats. Ten minutes later, Marion came out, and she saw all six of her goats wandering down the long driveway outside the pasture towards the country road. And then is when Marion realized her new life as a goat herder was about to begin. She took a deep breath and tried to catch up with her lady goats.

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DREAMS DO COME TRUE

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Unfortunately, I’m late leaving work once again. The pressure at work is almost unbearable. I feel like I’m in a pressure cooker. My wife, Cecily is going to be extremely angry at me because once again I missed dinner with my family and I didn’t call her.

What can I say?  Half the time while I’m at work I don’t know what time it is. I’m on my phone contacting possible new clients or trying to sell new products to our present clients. It’s a dog-eat-dog world here at Capehart Scatchard. If you don’t produce, you are out the door.

This morning while I was shaving, I looked in the mirror and I thought what the hell happened? I have lines on my face and my hair has turned completely white and my hairline has receded in the past ten years. And I’m only thirty-seven years old. 

I haven’t seen my kids in over two weeks, not at dinner and not before they went to bed. I work almost every weekend. It doesn’t help that my wife, Carolyn’s favorite hobby is shopping. She never seems to have enough of anything. Her clothes closet is full, most of the clothes still have their high-end price tags on them. They have never been out of the closet since she purchased them. The price tags represent the who’s who of designer clothing from Hermes to Gucci. Not to mention she is having our five-thousand-foot home redecorated for the fifth time in the last ten years. And just six months ago she went out and purchase an Aston Martin DBX. She assured me that it is the safest family car. It cost $76,000.

I wake up before the alarm goes off. My mind is working a hundred miles an hour. Sometimes I feel like my head is going to explode at any moment. I had a check-up by the corporate physician because I start having migraines in the middle of the day. My head would feel like a pressure cooker, my eyes became super sensitive to light. To tell you the truth I feel like I’m at the end of my rope. Something’s going to blow, I just can’t go on like this.

And then yesterday, right after I had a meeting with my new client a Charles Niedermeyer, I had an idea that might be the answer to all my problems. Niedermeyer is the brains behind a new product that is going to change the transfer of data as we know it. It is lo, T. The internet of things, or IoT, is a system of interconnected computing devices, with the ability to transfer data over a network without requiring human-to-human or human-to-computer interaction. The lo T was developed during the pandemic when people were avoiding physical contact with one another.

Now I’m no computer expert and a lot of the information that Niedermeyer bombarded me with was way, way over my head. But even I could see the potential here. But if this new technology can transfer data in a blink of an eye, it seems to me it could transfer many things including funds from one corporate bank account to a new non-traceable account that is not in an actual brick and mortar bank or investment portfolio. And the more I thought about it the more I thought it had real possibilities.

And over the next month, I started planning my escape from my corporate prison to a new life, with a new identity. I would no longer be owned by anyone, not my wife’s bank account and not my boss’s lackey. At first, it was just a kind of daydream when I had a few minutes to myself, over a morning coffee, or at my desk when I ate my lunch while I fielded emails, texts, and phone calls.

But the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to do it. Sometimes I just said to myself, “oh, it’s just a pipe dream, that’s all. I’ll never do it.” But as time went on, I began to hang on to the fantasy of escape like a drowning man to a life preserver. I wake up in the morning thinking about it, in a cold sweat. I dream about it at night if I was finally able to drift off to sleep.

In the middle of a corporate meeting, I find my mind drifting off and thinking about my escape to the Gulf of Panama. There is a trio of undeveloped islands with fifty beaches, more than 19 miles of coastline. But what I have always wanted to do was help preserve at-risk animals and sea life and preserve the last places on earth that haven’t been completely destroyed by humans and pollution. The biodiversity is equal to the Galapagos. Hundreds of birds and plants species and sea turtle-nesting exist there.

This is what I had dreamed about doing when I was young and before I went to college. But then I met my future wife and she came from an extremely wealthy family. She was absolutely stunningly beautiful. I fell hard for her. My family was working class so I knew I would have to achieve success on a grand scale to win her over. And I knew that once I set my sights on something I wouldn’t stop until I succeeded. And so, I changed my goals to finding a career that would bring me wealth and all the things that Cecily grew up with and what she would expect from her future husband. I just didn’t realize how much I would have to give up on myself for her.

And now here I am at what I feel is the crossroad of my whole life. Perhaps it is my last chance to live a life where I can feel I’m doing something that will make a difference in the world. And not just make money but make a difference. I know it is completely selfish of me to leave my wife and my children behind but I will make sure that they will always have the means and the money to go on living the way Cecily wants to. I guess I’m rationalizing away the guilt of abandoning my children. But I’m a stranger to them now as I’m never home and all I do is work, work, work.

Monday morning, I text Mr. Niedermeyer and ask if I could have a private meeting with him and he suggests I come to his private offices at 2:30 that day as he is leaving on an extended business trip at the end of the day.

I will have to keep my plans close to my vest so to speak, Niedermeyer is no ingénue. And I’m sure he has experience with people trying to conn him and that is why I’m going to tell him the truth, nothing but the truth.

I spend the rest of the morning and afternoon planning my ultimate escape. I have tied up all the business ends. And made sure that my wife and children are well taken care of financially. I feel like my life is about to take a turn for the better and my wife will no doubt find someone else in no time at all. And my children will be fine as they rarely see me now. So, it’s all good.

So, I arrive at 2:30 sharp at Mr. Niedermeyer’s office. I’m greeted by his assistant at the door. “Hello, I’m Jeffrey Golden, I have an appointment to speak to Mr. Niedermeyer at 2:30.”

“Of course, Mr. Golden Mr. Niedermeyer is in his private office. Please give me a few moments to inform him that you have arrived he is just finishing up some business. Please have a seat and it will only be a few minutes.”

“Thank you.” It wasn’t until that very moment that I noticed how unbelievably beautiful she was. In fact, she was one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. Of course, my wife was beautiful as well. Unfortunately, it turned out that her beauty was only a façade for a spoiled young woman who was never satisfied.

As I sat waiting for Mr. Niedermeyer’s assistant to let me know that I could go into Mr. Niedermeyer’s office I reviewed what I was going to say to him and hopefully persuade him to underwrite my plan. In a few moments, the assistant said, “you can go in now Mr. Golden, Mr. Niedermeyer can see you now.”

My heartbeat was a little faster and I felt my face flush. I stopped for a moment outside his door and took several deep breaths. “I open the door and walk in and I’m confronted by the largest office I have ever entered. It is absolutely stunning. The furniture looks one of a kind. The walls are a background for what looks like highly expensive paintings. In fact, although I’m not an art connoisseur I do recognize that one of the paintings is a Monet. “Good morning, thank you for taking the time to see me.”

“Well, I have to say I’m intrigued by your vague description of the reason you wanted to speak to me. So, why not begin I only have about a half-hour before I have to leave for the airport, I’m having a meeting with former World Bank chief scientist and now the British government’s scientific adviser on climate change, Bob Watson.”

“Really that is somewhat of a coincidence because I came here to have a conversation with you about my interest in saving our planet and the environment. In particular, there is in the Gulf of Panama three undeveloped islands with fifty beaches. There is almost twenty miles of coastline The biodiversity is equal to that of the Galapagos. There are hundreds of bird and plant species and sea turtle-nesting grounds—and they’re for sale. I have been investing in one of these islands for the past fifteen years. I have invested some of my clients, money in this project as well. Those clients who are interested in saving our planet and not just in increasing their bank accounts.

Before I had my original meeting with you, I found that you too have similar concerns and wanted to invite you to join with my group of investors in this project and perhaps in similar projects in the future?”

“Mr. Golden I am more than aware of your interest in the future of the planet and the environment. This is why I came to your firm. And yes, I was waiting for you to contact me on this matter. And I hope we can continue working towards our goals together. I would like to suggest that you come with me to my meeting with Bob Watson, I think you will find you have many things in common with him. Are you interested?”

“I’m more than interested, I’m enthralled with the idea, I have wanted to do this all my life. So, yes, yes, I would love to come. In fact, I was planning on going to the airport to go see how the investment I’ve been contributing for the past fifteen years is faring. I have my belongings in my car. This is the opportunity I’ve been looking forward to all my life. It is a dream come true. More than anything I want my life to have meaning and make the world a better place.”

“So, shall we have a toast to a new beginning? Can I call you by your first name, James?”

“Yes, but please call me Jim.”

 

“Please call me Alan, Jim.”

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Monday, August 23rd, 2021- Daily thought for the day

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Beginning on Monday afternoon August 23rd I will be posting daily “Thoughts” for the day. It may or may not include a picture that illustrates that thought. Or it may contain a short paragraph with an explanation. I intend to share interesting experiences from my daily life or observations, or glimpses of my life.  I welcome any of my followers on Write On to respond to me on the post where comments are posted. Thank you for reading this post, please feel free to share it with friends or family to follow my blog including this “Thoughts for the day” as well as my short stories.    

Susan A. Culver

 

 

 

 

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A LONG SUMMER’S WEEKEND

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It was August of 1965 I just turned fourteen years old in late May. My childhood best friend, Joanie calls me up one day and asks me if I would be interested in going camping with her other best friend Dolores Brennan.

Joan originally agreed to go camping with her but decides she really doesn’t want to go camping at all. Since she hates the idea of sleeping outside in a tent, on the ground. And has an almost pathological fear of insects, especially mosquitoes. And as everyone knows New Jersey is the breeding ground in the summer for every kind of biting insect, especially mosquitoes.

On top of that Dolores’s father was going to be going with them. And they would all be sleeping in the same tent together. Joan went on to explain that she felt really weird about sleeping in the same tent with Dolores and her father for some weird reason. 

My family never took summer vacations or trips when I was a kid, ever. Joan’s family took summer vacations to Florida almost every year. I had never been anywhere at all unless I could ride there on my bike. And my parents expected me to be home at five o’clock on the dot. Or there would be hell to pay. Well, not really. They just remind me, “You know we eat at 5 pm and you shouldn’t keep other people waiting.”

So, when Joan calls and asks if I would like to go camping with Dolores and her father I did not hesitate to say, “Yes, I would love to go camping with them.” And Joan responds, “great I’ll give Dolores a call and let her know that you’ll go. And I’ll give her your phone number and she’ll call you with all the details.”

I pack a bag that includes enough clothes for at least three weeks even though I would only be gone for two days. I “borrow” one of my older sister’s bathing suits. Since I didn’t have a swimming suit of my own that still fits me. As I had grown quite a bit since the last time I went swimming in Jackie’ Rice’s above-ground pool. Hopefully, my sisters wouldn’t notice it was missing before I left.

I nonchalantly tell my parents that I’m going camping with Joan’s friend Dolores and her father. They never met Dolores but have been hearing about her for years. Since I was extremely jealous of Joan’s friendship with Dolores. I insisted that Joan could only have one best friend. And Joan insists that it’s alright because I was her best neighborhood friend. And Dolores is her best friend in school. Joan is a year younger than I was and so she was in a different year of school.

The day of the trip finally arrives and I’m impatiently waiting for Dolores and her father to arrive in front of my house. They know that I live two houses away from Joan’s house. I stare out the living room window.  My father says, “you’re going to stare a hole in the window if you keep that up.” My mother says, “Leave her alone she’s not hurting anything by looking out the window.”

And then, at last, I see an old car pull up in front of my house. And I can see Dolores sitting in the front seat next to her day. “Here she is, I’ll see you on Sunday night.” And I grab my bag with my stuff in it and run out the door before they can change their minds about letting me go. I run out to the car as fast as I can. Dolores has her window down and says, “get in the back.” I am a little upset because she isn’t going to sit in the back with me. Then I open the car door and throw my suitcase onto the back seat and jump in. I glance out the window and I can see both of my parents looking out the front window and waving at me. I give them a little wave, and before you know it, we are on our way.

Dolores doesn’t even introduce me to her father, she just says,” hi.” And then she turns the radio up. Her dad pulls out into Fellowship Rd. and heads toward Route 73 South towards the shore, where we will be camping. After about a half-hour of silence, I say,” so how long a drive is it to the campsite, Dolores?”

“Oh, it’s about another forty-five minutes.” And then she turns the radio up louder. I start feeling a little mad and almost feel like telling them I want to go home. But I realize if I do that my parent will decide I’m too young to go anywhere without them. So, I keep my mouth shut. Dolores and her father start having a conversation about what people they know that might be there. And how they are looking forward to cooking over a fire and swimming in the lake that is nearby.

I decided that I will start asking questions so that they will include me in the conversation. I wish that Dolores had sat in the back seat with me. I wonder why she asks if I could go with her if she wasn’t going to talk to me and just ignore me sitting in the back seat of her car.

“Dolores, do you know how to swim?”

“What? Of course, I know how to swim, silly. Only babies don’t know how to swim.”

Oh, oh I think, I don’t know how to swim. I will have to be careful not to let her know. The only place I have ever been swimming was my neighbor above the ground pool. It is shallow and I can stand up in and it was about up to my chest. I never learned how to swim.

Her father still hasn’t said anything to me. My father is kind of a grouch, so he doesn’t really talk to my friends that come over, other than to tell them to pipe down while he’s watching TV. So, I try not to take his ignoring me personally. But the fact, that Dolores is ignoring me pretty much, is really making me mad. I’m not sure what I should do though.

After a while, we get on a big highway and I see a sign that says South Bound Atlantic City. So, I know we are getting closer. I realize that my ear is starting to hurt me. I must have gotten water in my ear when I was shampooing my hair last night. I get a lot of earaches so I know in a little while my ear is really going to start hurting me. I wonder if I should say something before, we get any further.

“Dolores, I’m starting to get an earache. Maybe your dad should take me back home before we get any further otherwise, I’m going to keep you up all night with my earache.”

“What? We’re not going to turn back now, we’re almost there, don’t be a baby.”

I’m so mad at Dolores now that I feeling like giving her a big punch. I knew there was a reason I didn’t like her. I kept my mouth shut for the rest of the trip. In about an hour her father announces, “here we are, get ready for some fun.”

My ear is really throbbing now and I know I shouldn’t go swimming or my ear will get more water in it and then I will get an infection. And I will have to go to the doctor’s when I get home. “Dolores, my ear is really starting to hurt, I’m not going to be able to go swimming.”

Dolores turns her head and looks at me and makes a really mean face at me. But she doesn’t say anything at all. And her father acts like he doesn’t even know that I’m in the back seat. Since he hasn’t said a word to me. I wonder what I should do, but I really have no idea. I just sit there with my ear throbbing. I guess I will just keep quiet and hope it doesn’t get worse and hope the weekend goes by quickly. I feel miserable.

About ten or fifteen minutes later we approach a sign that says. CAMPING FOR FAMILIES. Dolores’s father pulls up to the entrance and hands something to the guy in the booth at the entrance. “OK I got our campsite, lets go park and set up the tent and the campsite. He’s looking at Dolores and is still acting like I’m not in the back seat of the car. I feel like I’m invisible. I vow never to talk to Dolores again and I am definitely and going to tell Joan that I’m mad at her as well. Why didn’t she warn me that Dolores and her father were weirdos?

Dolores’s father pulls his car into the camping site and parks the car. Then he jumps out of the car and opens the trunk. “Ok, you guys come on out and help me unload the camping gear and set up camp.”

I feel a little better because at least he acknowledges that I exist for the first time. “Come on, get out and help.”

I’m so mad at Dolores that I feel my temper is rising and soon I will smack her or something. I go over to where she is standing and say, “what do you want me to do? I’ve never been camping before?”

“Just grab some of the stuff from the trunk and bring it over to where my father is standing and once, we get out everything from the trunk, we’ll set up the tent.”

“Ok.” And I do just that, she hasn’t even smiled at me or said anything to me except that I was acting like a baby. I’m so, so angry.

We follow Dolores’ father into the woods carrying all the heavy camping equipment with us. We have to make two trips to get all the equipment to the campsite. I have no idea how to set up a campsite let alone put up a tent. The only tent I ever put up was in my backyard. My friends and I would throw a blanket over the clothesline in the backyard and then pin it to the ground by hammering clothespins into the ground on either side of the clothesline.

I watch Dolores and her father put the tent up and set up a place to cook whatever food they brought with them. It is a small tent. And I can’t help but think and now I have to share this small space inside this little tent with Dolores and her father all night.

I wish there was some way to get out of this situation aside from demanding that they take me home right now. And I truly wish I had the guts to do just that but I don’t. Dolores says come on let’s take a walk and I’ll show you where the showers and the bathroom is located in case you have to go to the bathroom during the night.

“What? Do you expect that I will be able to find the bathroom in the dark in the middle of the night by myself? Are you crazy? I’ll get lost. Then what? If I have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I’m going to wake you up and you are going to have to go with me.”

Dolores looks at me like I’m crazy. “No, I’m not going to do that.”

“Yes, Dolores you are, or you and your father are going to have to take me back home right now.”

Dolores doesn’t say anything to me after that. And that was just fine with me. I didn’t care if she ever spoke another word to me for the rest of my life. Dolores says, “come on I’ll show you where the bathroom is just in case and the showers are right next to the bathroom. I hope you brought a towel with you because they don’t supply them here.”

“What? Why didn’t you tell me that before we left? I had no idea, I told you I have never been camping before. We made our way through the woods to the bathroom and then we both went into a stall to pee. It was disgusting. Apparently, you are supposed to bring toilet paper with you too, but I didn’t know that. This was turning into a real nightmare. I yelled out, “Dolores, do you have any toilet paper?”

She yelled back, “you mean you didn’t bring toilet paper with you?”

“No, I didn’t Dolores. No one told me too and I never went into a public toilet that didn’t have toilet paper there for people to use. Why didn’t you tell me that either?”

I hear Dolores laugh. And then a roll of toilet paper flies over my bathroom stall and I barely catch it before it falls onto the filthy floor. What in the world is wrong with these people?” Why did my friend Joan like this girl? She was just awful.

After I finish using the bathroom, I left the stall and I can’t find Dolores. She wasn’t in the bathroom anymore. I go outside and call out, “Dolores, where are you? She calls out, “I’m over here.”

I look in the direction that her voice came from. And I find her talking to another young girl about our age. I say, “hello.”

Dolores says, “this is my friend Joan’s friend. Joan couldn’t come, so I brought her with me instead.”

“Yeah, aren’t I the lucky one”, I said. Can we go back to the camp I’m getting hungry I didn’t have any lunch. Dolores rolls her eyes at her camping friend. And said, “yeah, I guess so.”

Dolores’ Dad had set up the campfire and he put the sleeping bags in the tent. It was really going to be close quarters. But it was only going to be one night because I decided that tomorrow, I’m going to tell them my ear is killing me and I feel sick. And they’re going to have to take me home first thing in the morning.

We have hotdogs and corn on the cob for dinner. Which is good as I love both hotdogs and corn on the cob. I say, “thank you, that was good. I was really hungry.” They both look at me like I’m talking another language or something.

I wonder what we were going to do the rest of the night. I have a feeling it was going to be a really long night. I never slept outside on the ground. And I‘m sure I‘m going to have trouble sleeping. I hope I won’t have to go to the bathroom again. I decide I’ll just go to the bathroom behind a tree or something before I went wandering around in the woods.

It turns out that all the campers are going to meet in a central location and tell ghost stories and sing songs. I enjoy singing songs. But some of the stories are really scary and I know I’m really going to have a hard time falling asleep. Or I‘ll have terrible nightmares about being murdered in my sleep.

After everyone starts returning to their own campsite, we’re about to go back to ours when Dolores says, ‘I’ll be back to the camp in a few minutes I want to talk to my friend Marla, I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

So, then I had to walk with Dolores’ father to the campsite by myself and he still hasn’t talked to me at all. I’m beginning to get that creepy feeling about him again. About a half-hour later Dolores came back to our campsite and whispers to her father. I can’t hear what she’s saying. But then she grabs her sleeping bag and leaves the campsite. “Where is Dolores going?” I scream at the top of my lungs.

Her father looks at me as if he just realized I was there. “Oh, she says she’s going to sleep in her friend Marla’s tent tonight. She’ll see us in the morning.”

“What? She isn’t going to be sleeping here tonight? But she asked me to go camping with her. And now she isn’t even going to stay here in this tent. And I have to sleep here in the tent with just you????”

“Yes, it’s not a problem I don’t mind.”

“You don’t mind? But I do, and I know my parents wouldn’t like it at all.”

He doesn’t say anything more after that. But I was so worn out by the whole ordeal, that I just push my sleeping bag as far away from him as possible. And pull the sleeping bag up over my head and zip it shut as far as I can. And I promise myself that I will scream bloody murder if he comes anywhere near me.

Somehow, I manage to go to sleep, about halfway through the night I had to go to the bathroom so I sneak out of the tent and pee on the nearest tree. I crawl back into the tent and into my sleeping bag and zip it all the way up again.

I can’t fall asleep again, so I lay awake and listen to the crickets and mosquitoes all night. And as soon as it gets lite out, I wake Dolores’ father up and say, “I’m sick and I have to go home. I have a terrible earache and I feel sick. You have to take me home right now. Or, I’ll have to call my father and tell him he will have to come all the way here and pick me up. And he won’t like that because he works at night and he’ll have to go to work without getting any sleep.

He groans, and says, “ok, od let me tell Dolores that I’ll be back in a couple of hours. And then we’ll go. I knew this was a bad idea bringing some kid I didn’t know camping.”

If looks could kill he would have been dead where he stood. But he didn’t die, but he did take me home and never said a word the whole way. He drops me off in front of my house. I grab my bag and head into my house.

My mother is standing at the stove cleaning up the breakfast dishes. She’s startled when I walk in. “What happened are you alright? How come you’re back already?”

“Well, it’s kind of a long story, but for now let’s just say it turns out I’m not much of a camper and leave it at that. And if Joanie calls any time in the next couple of days. Tell her I can’t come to the phone. Needless to say, that was my one and only camping experience for many years to come.

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THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE CURIOUS

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There are many ways that someone can be described. I’ve been described as intelligent, not bad-looking, and funny. But the truth is my most outstanding trait is my curiosity.

As far back as I can remember the force that drove me is my curiosity. You may ask, “But what are you so curious about?”

“And the God’s honest truth is, everything.”

I remember an incident from my early childhood. I was about four years old. And I decided to take a walk down my street about four houses down from where we lived. I was standing next to a telephone pole that was out in front of Mrs. Collins’s house. And her trash can was sitting there waiting to be picked up by the garbage man. They always come at 8 AM every Friday morning. 

My father had a weird fascination with counting how many garbage cans people put out in front of their house the day before the trash was picked up. He got angry if the neighbors put out too many and even more angry if they didn’t put out any at all.

So perhaps because he talked about the garbage cans every week to such an extent, I became curious and wondered, “what is so interesting” about garbage cans? And on this particular Friday morning, I decided to take a walk down my street, and investigate just what was inside these metal cans that everyone wanted so badly to get rid of them, and have them driven far, far away from them every week? And why did they keep buying things that they eventually couldn’t wait to get rid of?

As I stood there staring at Mrs. Collins’s trash can I couldn’t help but notice that there was a disgusting smell emanating from the depths of the can that had a bent and rusty lid on it. The lid was being held closed by a broken brick. Because the lid didn’t fit well. And would often fall off before the garbage men emptied its contents into the maw of the giant monster of a truck that swallowed everyone’s garbage every Friday morning.

I picked up the broken brick and put it gingerly onto the ground next to the can. The stink intensified. I took off the lid and put that on the ground next to the stinking can. The first thing I saw inside was a large can. I recognized it as something my mother used to call “The Crisco Can.” I didn’t know that everyone had this “Crisco Can.”

I thought, “wow, that’s really a big can. I wonder if this can will fit over my head. It looks big enough.” And so, I picked up the can without investigating the contents. It felt empty so I thought it would be safe to put on my head. My older brother had been kind enough to give me a haircut recently. As a result, my hair only came down to the tips of my ears. For some reason, my mother asks, “why, why did he cut your hair? And why would he cut it this short? I told my mother that he cut it short to see if I would look like a boy.

Anyway, it turns out that the Crisco Can was almost a perfect fit for my head since I had very little hair left on it. I wiggled my head a bit to see what if anything would happen. And then out of the blue, I felt something or someone biting my head. Not just the top but all over. And not only did the bites sting like crazy but my scalp started to burn like it was on fire. And whatever it began running down inside my shirt and biting me all over my chest and stomach.

I began to scream like crazy and running at the same time back to my house. I ran to the kitchen door and screamed at the top of my lungs. “I’m on fire, help I’m on fire.”
My dad and mom who had been sitting quietly at the kitchen table drinking their first cup of coffee of the day came bursting out of the kitchen onto the side stoop. And my father started yelling, “what the hell is wrong with you? You’re not on fire. And why in the hell do you have a Crisco can on your stupid noggin?”

“My head is on fire. And something is biting me. HELP.”

My mother said, don’t yell at her, you’re just making it worse. Why do you always have to yell?”

“For the love of god, take the can off her head.”

My father yanked the greasy can off my head. I yelled even louder. “Ow, ow, ow. That hurts.”

My mother said, “what is it” what is it?”

“Holy mackerel she has red ants all over her head, and on her neck, and in the front and the back of her shirt. “Take her clothes off, and I’ll get something to kill them. And with that, he ran back into the house and off to find something that would kill the “red ants.”

I hoped he wouldn’t kill me in the process. Sometimes with my father in charge, the cure was often worse than the ailment. I started crying anew. My mother started pulling my top off and my undershirt and then my pants and underpants. I was now naked as a Jay Bird in front of everyone who happens to drive or walk by. And the worse part was, I could see our evil next-door neighbor’s face pressed up against the windowpane. And there was a horrible grin on her face. For some reason she just despised me. She was always calling me The Cry Baby.

And then at that very moment, my father burst out of the kitchen door and he had a big metal can in his hand. “Step back from the child, I’m going to pour this all over her head. This should kill the bastards.”

My mother yelled, “What? You can’t pour turpentine on her head. It will kill her. She’s just a little girl and it will get in her eyes and blind her.”

She stepped back and I felt a burning liquid pouring down over my head and face, I quickly closed my eyes tight. And then it dripped down my front and back and down my skinny legs. My mother forgot to take off my shoes, so my new sneakers got all wet too. My mother said, “oh no, you ruined her new sneakers.”

I had tightly closed my eyes but tears somehow managed to creep out of my eyes and down my red and swollen face. My father yelled, “get the hose, and we’ll hose her down.”

And that was what they did. They hosed me down for what seemed forever. I had finally run out of tears and was just standing there in my ruined sneakers and red and itchy skin and soaking wet. And my father said to me with all seriousness,” are you happy now?”

I stood there soaked to the skin with itchy, burning bites and dead ants pooling around my feet. And my father said, “why in god’s name did you put that filthy, disgusting can on your head for? Can you just tell me that?”

I looked at him and said, “to see if it would fit on my head of course.”

“Did you hear that? She wanted to know if the can would fit on her head?”

“Yes, she’s always been a curious child. She’ll probably be the death of me yet. I’m going to take her in and put her in a tub and clean her off. And then I’m going in my room and say the rosary.”

Of course, this was neither the first or last horrible experience I had because of my curiosity. My best friend and I often took long walks around town or rode our bikes all over the place. My mom always said to me as I was on the way out the front door, don’t slam the door and be home for lunch (or dinner) on time.

My best friend would always go along with my plans and never questioned or suggested. Nor did she ever suggest that perhaps this was not a good idea. She just went along with whatever I said. So, one fine summer day, I said, “Wow, it is really hot outside, I would really like to go swimming. She said, “Me too.” I was about ten years old then and she was nine.

“Why don’t we go and get our swimsuits on and walk down to the hotel on Route 73 and sneak into their swimming pool. I bet they wouldn’t even notice us. I’ll meet you at your house in about fifteen minutes. Put your clothes on your swimming suit and bring a towel. “Ok, I’ll see you in about fifteen minutes. I went to my house and changed into my hand-me-down swimsuit and put my shorts and tee-shirt on over it.

My mother told me to be on time for lunch and I said, OK. She never asked where I was going, she just reminded me to be on time. When I got home from whatever adventure I was up to she said, “oh good, there you are. Go get ready for dinner.” And by that, she meant to wash your hands. Neither my father nor mother ever ask where I was. They might say what were you doing today? And I would just reply, riding bikes.

And so, on this particular day, we rode down Route 73 which was a State Highway in South Jersey and heavily traveled. Luckily, it wasn’t rush hour so there weren’t too many cars and trucks on the road. And somehow, we made it in one piece to the hotel.  When we got there were several families with kids already swimming in the pool. So, we just parked our bikes next to the fence behind a bush and walk through the gate and put our clothes on our towels and nonchalantly jumped into the pool. We had a great time. Unfortunately, both of us got sunburned and when I arrived home my mother said, “Good grief, you’re as red as a beet. You should have known you were out in the sun too long. You need to go take a bath in baking soda. My mother thought baking soda was a cure-all, either that or Vic’s Vapor Rub.

I never let a previous negative outcome to one of my little adventures deter me from continuing down the path I follow to satisfy my curiosity. I really don’t allow anything or anyone to stop me once I got an idea in my head. My father often told me I was the most bullheaded, stubborn person he ever knew bar none.

And so, about a year later, when that self-same hotel that my best friend and I went swimming in added a trampoline for the guest children to enjoy I thought, why shouldn’t I enjoy the trampoline? What’s one or two more kids jumping on the trampoline going to harm? We had a half-day at school this Friday so I would just fail to inform my mother and she would not be the wiser, no harm, no foul, right?

I waited for my friend to come out of her classroom on Friday and we dumped our schoolbags on my back porch and we went on our merry way towards Route 73 and our new adventure. Once again, we managed to get safely across the highway and up to the hotel. My friend did have a few moments where she freaked out as we crossed the highway. When we got to the other side I said, “what are you crying about? Nothing bad happened we’re fine.”

And then we walked up to the gate where the trampoline was located and before you knew it, we were jumping up and down to our heart’s content. It was amazing. I felt like I was flying. My greatest desire in life was to be a bird. And to fly from one side of the planet to the other. We must have jumped up and down for three hours. My stomach was growling like crazy because I didn’t eat breakfast that morning. And we skipped lunch. On the other hand, there was a really strong chance that if I did eat anything I would puke.

I yelled as loud as I could, “hey my legs are getting tired. How are yours?”

She yelled back, “they are killing me let’s go home now. It must be getting late.” By then we were the only kids left on the trampoline. “Yeah, let’s go home now.” We took our time walking back to our houses because not only were our legs killing us, it felt like we were still jumping up and down. It was a weird feeling, and it took us twice as long to get back home. When we got back to my house, we went to the back porch and grabbed our school bags. I yelled, “I’ll call you later,” to my friend. She barely waved at me. No doubt she would go home and fall in her bed and not get up to twelve o’clock on Saturday afternoon.

I have to admit my legs were absolutely killing me. But there was no way I could tell my mother what I had been up to. Or my father would have made sure that my legs were the only thing that would be hurting for a few days. When I got up to the side steps, I could hardly lift my legs up to the next step. There were only four steps but I wasn’t sure I would be able to make it. It took me about five minutes.

When I got to the top step, I saw my mother looking at me through the windows on the kitchen door. I waved at her. Thank god, my arms didn’t hurt. Or the jig would be up.

My mother opened the door and let me in. She said, “where have you been your sister has been home for several hours? She said you had a half-day today.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. But I had to stay after school to practice diagramming sentences with Sister. This was a frequent occurrence so she didn’t question me again. But the problem was I was hardly able to walk because I had such terrible leg cramps from jumping on the trampoline for hours.

As the school year came to a close, I began looking forward to going to Strawbridge Lake. My friends and I used to ride our bikes there. I was twelve years old now so I didn’t think it was a problem to ride there it was only two towns away. Of course, I didn’t tell my parents where we were going, they would have told me that I wasn’t old enough to ride my bike that far. But unbeknownst to them, we had been going there for years. But as I mentioned earlier, my parents never ask where we went. They only told us not to be late for lunch or dinner. Unlike me, they didn’t seem to have any curiosity about where I was and what I did. As long as I got home in one piece more or less.

Anyway, on this particular day, I had the brilliant idea that today would be the perfect day to walk across the waterfall at Strawbridge Lake. Up until now, we had all been too chicken to cross it since the water was at its deepest at the Falls. It would be really, really fun. I called a couple of my friends up and ask them to meet me outside my house in a half-hour. Only two of them agreed to go. Since they had all suffered some negative consequences when I got “some crazy idea” about what would be fun.

At eleven o’clock we all met in the church parking lot. And then we headed to Strawbridge Lake. It was in Moorestown. So, it took us about forty-five minutes to get there. And it was at least ninety degrees out and humid. In other words, typical summer weather in NJ. By the time we got there, we couldn’t wait to get in the water. However, no one was allowed to swim in the lake. It was strictly a fishing lake and a place to have family picnics. But of course, that didn’t stop us.

I had brought a towel and a blanket in my bag. So, I laid the blanket out under a Willow tree and we all took our sneakers and socks off. Then I said, “let’s go.” And off we went and walked toward the waterfalls. I kept saying, “come on, come on let’s go.” There was me and my best friend and two of my school friends, Diane and Helen. I said, “come on last one there is a rotten egg. And we all started laughing and running.

When we got to the edge of the water I stuck my foot into the water, and said, “holy mackerel it’s freezing.” They all looked at each other and I could see they were going to chicken out. “Come on, come on. I’ll go first and then each one of you goes in one at a time. The water was shallow at first but got gradually deeper as I moved forward. And then there was a sudden drop off as I got to the waterfall, the water was up to my knees. I started making the climb up to the top of the waterfall. It was really slippery.

I could see about six or seven fishermen standing on the top of the waterfall and spread out all the way to the other side. I heard one guy yell,” hey kid be careful the water is really deep along here. You shouldn’t be up here. Go back.”

I just ignored him. There was no way I wasn’t going to go all the way across the falls. My feet were already numb from the freezing water. But I was almost to the halfway point of the falls and there wasn’t I was bound and determined that I going to go all the way to the other side. And then it happened. My foot slipped and I was just about to fall off and down into the lake. I screamed at the top of my lungs. One of the men, yelled, “grab that kid she’s about to fall off into the lake.”

And that is when the fishermen closest to me tried to reach down and grab me, but he couldn’t reach me. Then he yelled, “Hey kid grab ahold of my fishing pole. Yeah, that’s it, grab it. I’ll pull you up.” And he did. I was small for my age so I wasn’t that heavy. And he pulled me up by the fishing pole. When he finally got me back to the top of the falls he said, “are you crazy or just stupid?” My father used t say that to me all the time. So, it didn’t really bother me that much. I said, “thanks” and walked back to my friends.

They were all standing there with their hands clapped over their mouths. And then my best friend said, “good grief, you could have drowned.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t. And this goes to the grave with you and the rest of them.” Then we all walked back to the blanket and I flopped on it and I just sat there until my clothes dried off. And then I said, “well, I guess it’s time to go back home.” None of my friends ever mention this experience again. I thought about it quite often and I decided it might be a good idea if I learned how to swim.

My experiences as a child growing up in the 1950s and the 1960s were fueled by my curiosity and desire to experience everything I could and if there was a chance that it was a little dangerous well, all the better. I was a quiet child around adults and no one would imagine that I would do anything dangerous. But I was often the catalyst for all the exciting and yes, possibly dangerous activities that I and my friends participated in over time. My friends knew it was going to be an exciting day if I preface a statement with the phrase, “Hey, I was thinking wouldn’t it be exciting if we…

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THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

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It’s the first day of the rest of my life. Today is my first day of retirement. I worked hard all my life and saved money so I will be prepared for a happy and secure retirement.

I wake up at 6:30 AM. At the same time, I have been waking up for the past thirty-plus years. Old habits are hard to break and all that. I stumble out of bed and make my way into my bathroom. I look in the mirror at my reflection. I’m still trying to come to terms with the face that stares back at me in that mirror. There’s a similarity to the face I expect to see but still, it looks like a stranger, even if it looks like a familiar stranger. In fact, I look a couple of decades older than I feel.

I expect to see my bright, blue eyes, a ready smile, and a youthful countenance. I guess the youthful part is what’s missing.

I made a commitment to begin every day of my new life by exercising. I start by doing some warming-up exercises like doing deep knee bends, sit-ups, and stretches. And then I get on my clothes and walking shoes, grab my keys and head out my kitchen door to walk two miles.

I have to admit I’m somewhat out of shape and my feet are killing me even though I bought expensive walking shoes. I have no doubt that tomorrow my back and legs and feet will be killing me as well. But I will not let that stop me. I made a promise to myself that I will get in shape within the next six months.

My intention is to get in shape and stay in shape and live for at least another twenty years. I just wish that my face would cooperate and get in shape. If that is even possible. While I’m walking my miles, I consider the next steps to take to rejuvenating my body from head to toe. And decide that I will call my hairdresser and make an appointment to get a haircut and maybe some highlights in my hair. And perhaps a facial as well.

As I’m heading towards the last block I have to walk before I head home for breakfast, I see someone, a middle-aged man looking in my direction. He is standing next to a car that has the trunk open. I wonder if he is having car trouble? I keep walking but quicken my pace as I get closer to the man standing on the sidewalk. He looks at me and I nod and keep going. Maybe I’m just being paranoid, but you never know what might happen. I decided that when I’m out walking alone, I will keep alert, not wear headphones and maybe even keep my keys in my hand at all times just to be safe. I suppose I’m being paranoid, but better paranoid, than dead.

As I continue my walk, I decide to cross the street just in case. As I cross the street I glance over and I see the man get in his car and drive off. I feel a sense of relief. Maybe I am a little paranoid. But still…

I’m only halfway through my walk and my legs are starting to ache a bit, probably from all the years I sat working at my desk. I did have a sedentary job. I should have made an effort to do some kind of physical activity, but I can’t change the past so I’ll just have to do better now. As I’m walking along, I start thinking about all the things I missed out on because I spent the last thirty-something years working to support myself. I never got married, didn’t have children. Didn’t even have a pet, since I often had to go on business trips.

And then the solution to my newly retired lifestyle comes to me, I need to get a pet. I consider getting a cat. But then I think if I get a dog, he can go on walks with me. And I won’t be as nervous because I won’t be walking alone. And that is when I decide that when I get home, I’m going to look on the internet for all the local shelters and go looking for a dog. I haven’t had a dog since I was a kid. I feel excited. I step up my pace and head back in the direction of my house.

According to Google, there are a couple of animal shelters within a mile of my residence. I go to each site and write down their addresses. I jump in the shower and then throw on my clothes. I can’t wait to find out who will be my new best friend.

I forgo breakfast and head out to my car and turn on my GPS to the first animal shelter. I’m the first person to arrive at the shelter. In fact, the volunteers and the employees haven’t even arrived. I listen to a podcast while I wait for the shelter to open. About thirty minutes later a woman pulls up in a Volkswagen. A woman well over six feet tall unfolds herself and steps out of a tiny car. I’m amazed that she fit in the car.

I jump out of my car and quick-step over to where she is emerging from her car like a butterfly out of a cocoon.  I say, “good morning” in the cheeriest voice I can muster up. And she almost jumps out of her skin, because she had no idea I was standing there. She screams, at the top of her voice. “Dear god, you almost gave me a heart attack.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you would have seen me waiting in my car.”

“We don’t open up for another twenty minutes. And I need to have a cup of coffee before I will be able to interact with another human being. Why don’t you go around the corner there is a small coffee shop there and have some coffee and a donut. And by then I will be fit to talk to.”

“Sure, I’ll do just that. I’m sorry if I startled you, I’m just so excited to find my new companion, I just retired, today in fact. And I want to get a dog and—–“

“Please, can you just come back in about a half-hour?”

I look at her, and I realize I better give her the half-hour or she may just put the kibosh on me adopting a dog. “I’ll see you in a little while.”

I decide to walk around the block rather than driving and then having to look for a parking spot and then having to drive back here. It’s a beautiful Fall day and I haven’t been in this area before. I see a shop on the corner called, “HITS THE SPOT.” And I think that must be it, what a clever name.

I push open the door and I hear bells ringing. I look up and I see a bell attached to the chain on the door. There is something so cheerful and inviting about doorbells, I just love them. As I walk through the door, I hear laughter. And to my surprise, there are about fifteen people sitting at the counter. There is a man about my age behind the counter and he seems to be the center of attention. His hair is a mixture of red with white highlights. And he has a red beard. There has always been something about beards that I like. He flashes me a toothy grin and says, “Hey guys move over and let the lovely lady take a seat.”

I can’t believe it but I blush all the way to the roots of my hair. I probably haven’t blushed in thirty years. I smile and take a seat.

“What can I do for you? How about a cup of the best coffee in thirty miles to start?”

“Yes, that sounds great, I haven’t eaten anything today.”

“Well, then how about the house specialty, creamed beef on toast or shit on a shingle like they used to call it in the old days. What do you say, sound good?”

“Well, I’m trying to lose some weight, but since it’s my first day of retirement I think I’ll make an exception and have the house specialty. It sounds great. I don’t think I’ve had that since I was a kid.”

“Well, this is a day for a celebration, how come I never saw you around here before?”

“Well, as I said I just retired and I had to go to work, and I don’t live in this area. I just came here to visit the Animal Shelter. I decided I needed to get a dog since I will be home from now on. I arrived before the shelter opened so the woman who works at the shelter recommended your restaurant to me since I had some time to kill.”

“Oh, well that was nice of her. Was she kind of grouchy?”

“Well, yes. But I was early and waiting for the shelter to open, and she wasn’t too thrilled by that.”

“Well, that’s Madge for you, but she gets better as the day goes on, she usually comes here for lunch every day. OK, let me get busy and make you the best Shit on a Shingle you ever had. I’m sure you’ll be back tomorrow for more.”

I sit quietly and listen to the conversation flow around me. It’s a mixture of retired men and the occasional working stiff that stopped in for a cup of coffee on their way to work. I was enjoying the comradery.  And before I know it, my breakfast was ready. I said, “oh that does bring back memories of my childhood, we used to have this every Friday night for dinner when I was growing up.”

I start eating, and it was even more delicious than I remember. I didn’t say a word, while I was eating. And then I just sighed. Then the cook said, “by the way, my name is Harry and this is my place, and you are welcome to come back anytime, in fact, we would love to have a beautiful lady such as yourself come share breakfast with us. “

“You know, I was going to start the day with a long walk, and I think I will do just that it is about a mile from my house to here and I could stop and join you guys for coffee and occasionally have breakfast since I’m trying to lose weight. By the way, my name is Kathleen. And I’m happy to meet you Harry, and the rest of you as well.”

“So, what kind of dog are you going to get?”

“Well, I don’t know, I don’t know what kind of dogs they have available yet. And I haven’t had a dog since I was a kid. I guess I’ll know when I see him or her. I’m really excited about it.”

“Well, after you get your new best friend stop by and introduce him to the rest of us.”

“I will do just that. What do I owe you? That was the best meal I’ve had in a long time.”

Harry slides the bill over to Kathleen, and says, “the first meal is on the house, but only if you promise to become a regular customer.”

“Really, oh this really has been a great beginning to my retirement. Kathleen looks around at all the smiling faces and says, “the day I get my new dog, I’ll stop and have a celebratory meal. Is that alright, Harry?”

Kathleen waves goodbye as she goes out the door and gives them all a big smile. She can’t believe what a great start she’s having on her first day of retirement and now she’s walking back to the shelter to meet her new best friend.

Kathleen wants to walk faster but she’s afraid she ate a bit too much and she doesn’t want to feel sick so she takes her time getting back to the shelter.

As she walks through the front entrance of the shelter, she can hear dogs barking. Then she hears a young woman’s voice call out, “good morning, can I help you?”

Kathleen is relieved that she doesn’t have to speak to the woman that she met earlier. “Yes, I just retired, and I want to adopt a dog. I wasn’t ever able to have one before because of my job and the hours I kept and business trips.”

“Well, that’s wonderful. Do you know what kind of dog you want?”
“I had a Cocker Spaniel when I was a kid. Her name was Naomi, and she was so sweet and intelligent. Do you happen to have any kind of Cocker Spaniel or even a mixed Spaniel?

“Well, as a matter of fact, we do. And I think that you will just love her. She is about five years old. She has a wonderful, loving nature and is smart as a whip. Do you want to go meet her?”

“Really, she sounds great. Can I see her now?”

“Of course, lets’ go see her. How about if I take her out of her kennel and you can meet me outside in the back. That way she won’t be distracted by all the other dogs. How’s that?”

“Great, oh I can’t wait. I’ll meet you outside.”

In about five minutes, Kathleen hears someone open the back door of the kennel and the woman she talked to comes out with the most adorable dog Kathleen has ever seen. She’s in love the second she sees her.

Oh my, isn’t she precious? I love her.”

“Why don’t you walk over slowly and she will get to know you. I think the two of you will be a great pair.”

Kathleen slowly walks toward the little dog, And the dog starts wagging her tail and smiling at her. Kathleen gets down on her hands and knees and approaches the dog. She slowly moves her hand toward her and the dog licks her hand. She moves her hand and slowly pets the dog from head to toe.  “Oh, aren’t you the sweetest little thing? Can I walk her around a bit?”

“Yes, I’ll stand back here and let you two get acquainted. Take your time. You want to be absolutely positive that this is the dog for you. You don’t even have to make up your mind today. If you want to you can meet some other dogs too.”

Kathleen spends almost a half-hour quietly talking to the little dog and getting to know her. She is such a calm, yet happy little dog. She knows that they will get along together. “Thank you, for being so patient with me, I definitely want to adopt her. So, we can get the paperwork started and I can find out what I need to do. Did she get spayed yet or are there any problems I should know about her?”

“Let’s go inside and do the paperwork, and I’ll tell you her history and by the way, you can change her name if you wish, but her name is Goldie.”

“Oh, that’s perfect. I love it. Let me start filling out the papers, and pay the fee and find out any health issues. And oh, does she up to date on her shots?”

“OK, let’s take one thing at a time, and I’ll take Goldie in the back and have her get the latest flea treatment so you won’t have to worry about that. And I’ll give you all her paperwork and let you know her history. It won’t take that long.”

About thirty-five minutes later Kathleen heads out the door with Goldie and begins her new life with Kathleen. It’s a new beginning for both of them. “Come on Goldie, we just have to take a short walk to my car and maybe meet some new friends of mine. And then we’ll be on our way home, and wait until you see your new backyard. You’ll never have to be chained up again.  And they take their first step towards their new life together. A beginning neither one of them expected when they woke up that morning. You never know what good things lie ahead of you in life.

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BORN DIFFERENT

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Thelma is the middle child in a family of five children. Thelma is often overlooked or overshadowed by both her older siblings and the youngest as is often found in the middle child.

Thelma however is not a child that’s content with being the overlooked child. She’s a child with a unique personality, traits, and talents. And if the truth be told Thelma isn’t easily ignored because she’s an unconventional-looking young girl, not ugly, but unusual. 

And add her strange personality to the mix and Thelma is a one-of-a-kind young girl. No one can easily overlook her. Because the moment you glimpse her, you’re struct by first her face, her body, and then her unique mannerisms. And for some unknown reason, there is a faint but distinct smell of gardenias when you stand within a foot of Thelma.

And let me be perfectly clear Thelma doesn’t suffer from any facial or body deformities. Nor is she mentally ill. It’s simply a combination of unusual looking with an unusual palpable vibe.

Thelma enjoys taking long walks around her neighbor by herself. She is comfortable with her own company. She is complete within herself. She rarely feels lonely. And if she does, it is only a fleeting feeling.

One day Thelma was sitting on her front steps when she notices a toddler walking toward her on the sidewalk in front of her house. Thelma glances up and down the street and doesn’t see any adults in view. In fact, she doesn’t see anyone. Thelma decides to take charge of the situation. It is clear that a child this young, barely older than a toddler should be taking a walk by him or herself.

“Hello, what’s your name? Where do you live? My name is Thelma. How about if I find out where you live and take you home to your mommy and daddy?”

The toddler looks up at her and sticks his hand out. And Thelma takes his hand in hers and starts walking back in the direction he came. “So, tell me if you see your house. And then we’ll knock at the door and see if you belong there. Thelma knows that no one that lives on her street has any little kids. So, she turns down Popular Avenue and walks hand in hand down Mill Road. “Do you live in any one of these houses? Hey, what’s your name?”

The little boy doesn’t respond. “Oh, you don’t feel like talking today, huh? Well, that’s alright sometimes I don’t feel like talking either. Wait, let’s try this house, and see if you live there or if they know where you do live. You couldn’t have walked that far.” Thelma walks up to the house and up the front steps to the green door and knocks.

An older woman answers the door, she is tall and thin and has grey hair that is twisted up into a bun with two chopsticks sticking out of it. She had dark, red lipstick on her lips and rouge on her high cheekbones. Her eyes are slightly slanted. Even though the woman is old, she is still quite beautiful.

The woman looks at Thelma and then down at the little boy holding her hand and she has a worried look on her face. “Yes, can I help you? Is everything alright?”

“Hi, my name is Thelma. I was sitting on my front steps on Ellis Avenue when this little boy came walking down the street by himself. I was afraid that he would get hurt or hit by a car. So, I ask him if he wanted me to help him find his house. So, here I am. Do, you know where he lives?”

The woman looks at Thelma and studies her for a moment and then says,” Well, Thelma that was a good idea to help this little guy find his parents and his house. But I think that I will give the police a call and see if anyone has called about their child be missing. I don’t recognize him, but I’m sure the nice policeman will find his parents right away. They must be really worried about him. Don’t you think so?”

“Yes, I do. But I think we will just wait out here, while you call the police.”

“Thelma you are right again, you should never go into a stranger’s house. Why don’t I get you two a drink of water and a cookie? And you can sit on the step and wait for the police to come and take this little guy home. What do you say?”

“I think that is a good idea. We’ll wait outside, and I’m sure he is really thirsty after he took such a long walk by himself. Besides, it’s really hot outside.”

Thelma sits down on the step and the little boy sits on her lap. She never had a babysit on her lap before, and she is surprised how heavy he is for such a little guy. “So, what’s your name?”

He doesn’t answer. Thelma imagines how she would feel if she was this little and she got lost from her home and her mom and dad. She feels a tear run down her cheek, and she hugs the little boy. She knows she would be really scared. “Don’t worry, the policeman will be here soon and they will bring your mom with them. Oh, here comes the nice lady and she has some water and a cookie for you.”

“By the way Thelma, my name is Mrs. Wilkes, I’m so happy that you stopped at my house, here is your cookie and cold water. She hands the cookie to Thelma and hands the little boy a cookie as well. “Here you go, little guy. And here is a sippy cup, my grandson uses it when he comes to visit me.”

The little boy grabs the cup and drinks the water down so fast, he chokes a little. Thelma says, “slow down, slow down. Here is the cookie but don’t eat too fast or you’ll choke again.”

“Thelma, you’re such a nice person to help this little boy find his mom and dad. By the way, the police told me that they did get a call from a woman that was very upset because she couldn’t find her little boy. Apparently, she forgot to lock the back porch screen door and the baby decided to take a walk. She was so happy he was found safe and she will be here any minute she’s coming with the policeman.”

“Really, I’m so happy. I would have been so afraid if I got lost when I was this little.”

“Yes, he was so lucky to have been found by a caring person such as yourself.”

The pretty lady sat down on the step next to Thelma and the little boy, he was still nibbling at his cookie, taking tiny bites. Because Thelma kept warning him not to take big bites because he might choke.

After about fifteen minutes a police car rolled up next to the curb. And as soon as the car pulled over to the curb a young woman jumped out of the car and ran over to the house where Thelma and the little boy and the pretty lady were waiting.

“Oh, Joey there you are. I was so worried about you. I must have forgotten to lock the porch door. I’m so sorry.” There were tears running down her face, it was clear from her red, puffy eyes that she had been crying for a while. She picks up Joey and hugs him against her chest.

“Hi, my name is Thelma, I was sitting on my front step when I saw Joey walking down my street towards Main Street, so I decided I should find his house before he got more lost or hurt.”

Joey’s mother looks at Thelma, and she smiles.” Oh Thelma, thank you so much. You will always be my hero. You are such a kind and brave little girl to take care of Joey when he was lost. I can’t thank you enough. Then Joey’s mom starts crying anew. And says, “Can I give you a hug Thelma?”

Thelma was seldom hugged and didn’t know what to say. But after a moment, she said quietly, “yes, I would like that.”

The pretty lady and the policeman were both smiling from ear to ear. The policeman said,” I have to say that this is the best ending that I have seen in a long time. And I would like to shake your hand, Thelma, can I do that?”

Thelma was overwhelmed by everything that Joey’s Mommy and the policeman said to her, and a tear of happiness slowly rolled down her soft cheek. “Yes.”

The policeman reached over and shook her right hand, “You are a hero, Thelma. Say, did anyone ever tell you that you smell like gardenias?”

“No, what is a gardenia”

“It’s a beautiful flower, with a wonderful aroma. You’re a wonderful young lady, who smells like a beautiful flower.”

Thelma put down her head, she was overwhelmed by emotion. It was a rare occasion when she was complimented. Her older siblings were always tattling on her and her younger siblings were always stealing her toys. She was always the odd man out in her house. Someone was always mad at her and telling her she was a weirdo.

Well, Mrs. Phillips if you like I can give you and Joey a ride home and you too Thelma if you like I’ll even turn on the sirens all the way to your house. Would you like that?”

“Yes, that would be neat. I would love that.”

“Ok, let’s be on our way. Thank you for the quick thinking and calling the station mam, Otherwise, this might not have had such a happy ending.”

“Oh, I didn’t do anything but pick up the phone and call you, Thelma is the hero here.”

On the way home, Thelma couldn’t stop smiling. She knew her family would finally know that she was special and not just some weird kid.

“Alright Thelma can you give me your address and we’ll be on our way?”

“My address is 48 South Forklanding Road, two houses down from Main Street next to the school.”

“Here we are, I would like to come to the door to explain to your mother why you arrived in a police car. OK?”

The policeman got out of his side of the car and went around to the back of the car to let Thelma out. “Here we are Thelma, let’s go up to your door.

The policeman knocked at the door several times before anyone answered. Thelma’s oldest sister came to the door. And she immediately started screaming for her mother, Mom Thelma is at the door with a policeman, she must have gotten arrested. Mom, Mom, Mom.”

“Ewe, you are going to be in such trouble, Thelma.”

“Hello, my name is officer McKinney, Thelma isn’t in any kind of trouble. She found a lost toddler and because of her the little boy’s mother was informed that her lost toddler was found and they were reunited safely. She is a heroine. You should all be proud of her.”

Thelma stood there saying nothing, when her sister said, wow, Thelma, you saved a little kid’s life. You’re are a heroine.”

Thelma blushed, but she felt the happiest she ever felt. Thelma’s mother stepped over to her and gave her a big hug. Thelma never felt this happy before. She smiled from ear to ear. The police officer leaned over and shook Thelma’s little hand. And then he turned and got into his car and left.

“Oh, Thelma, I’m so proud of you.” Said her mother and sister in unison. Her sister said, I can’ wait to tell dad, that you are a heroine.”

Thelma’s mother takes her hand and kisses it, and leans over and hugs Thelma hard. “I always knew you were special, Thelma, how about a snack before it gets too late. And they both walked back into their house, and Thelma told her mother the whole story again from beginning to end. And it turned out to be Thelma’s luck day, her mother had just made chocolate chip cookies, Thelma’s favorite kind.

At dinner when Thelma’s dad came home from work and they were all seated at the table for coffee, her mother told everyone the story. And everyone’s clapped. It was the happiest day of Thelma’s day, so far.

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MARIE’S RECIPES

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It’s almost unbearably hot in the kitchen, even though all the windows in the kitchen are wide open. And Marie’s new summer curtains are pushed aside. If it wasn’t for the ceiling fan that Harry installed a couple of years ago Marie thinks she would probably pass out or have expired by now. Summer in New Jersey is not only hot but unbelievably humid. You know how people say, “it’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.” Well, it’s both.

Mom sitting at the kitchen table,

Marie isn’t one to complain. In fact, she never complains. She learned that complaining is an unwelcome trait when she was growing up as the only daughter in a house filled with older brothers and a sick mother.

She’s been bent over the ironing board for the past several hours but thank god she’s finally finished that tedious task. She had a large family with six children. All grown and left home save for the youngest two, who are twins in the fifth grade. And even though there are only four people living in the house now, there’s still plenty of ironing to do. Harry is fussy about how his clothes look. Of course, she never mentions to anyone how much she hates ironing, especially Harry, never has, never will.

Marie notices a movement out the kitchen’s side window. She tilts her head to get a better view. It’s Mrs. Rice, her next-door neighbor. She has her rotary push mower out and is energetically pushing the mower in crooked rows from one side of her front yard to another. It isn’t unusual for her to cut the grass on the most inhospitable day. Although she usually chooses a day when it’s pouring down rain. Mrs. Rice is a widow with one son that lives at home and three married daughters.

Marie would never admit it out loud, but she really doesn’t like Mrs. Rice at all. The woman just rubs her the wrong way. She made a habit of saying hurtful things to Marie, and she goes out of her way to talk to Harry. Whenever Mrs. Rice talks to her, Marie nods and keeps walking or ignores her altogether. Marie is friendly and thoughtful to people but she cannot bring herself to even look at the woman for any length of time.

The final straw that broke the camel’s back happened when Mrs. Rice came over to the side door and hammered on it with her closed fist. Marie looks out the curtain and sees Mrs. Rice. She reluctantly opens the door and she can tell by the look on Mrs. Rice’s face that she’s fit to be tied. “Yes, what can I do for you?”

“I just had my front steps painted red and “someone” came over and took some of the paint and the paintbrush and painted nasty words on my sidewalk. And I think it was your daughter, Susan. She will have to clean it up.”

“What?” Susan would never do such a thing, and she doesn’t know any bad words. She’s only ten years old.” And with that, my mother slammed the side door in Mrs. Rice’s face. If it was possible Marie thought she actually hates Mrs. Rice. But she knows that’s wrong and tries not to think about it again.

It’s Friday afternoon and it’s Marie’s custom to make a cake for Sunday afternoon. Today she decides to make an Applesauce Cake. She takes out all the ingredients, a measuring spoon and a measuring cup, and a spatula. And she opens the cabinet and pulls up the mixer. She just loves how Harry attached the mixer inside the cabinet and all she had to do is pull it up and lock it into place.

She began adding the ingredients one by one.

1 1/3 cup flour

1 13 cup sugar

¼ tsp. Baking powder

1 tsp. Salt

½ tsp. Cinnamon

¼ tsp cloves

¼ tsp. Allspice

w/3 cup shortening

1/3 cup water

1 cup unsweetened applesauce

1 large egg (beaten)

1/3 cup chopped nuts

2/3 cup chopped raisins.

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Grease rectangular pan well and dust with flour. Sift dry ingredients into a bowl. Add shortening, water, and applesauce. Beat 2 min. Scrape sides of bowl constantly. Stir in nuts and raisins. Pour in prepared pan, bake for 35 to 40 minutes.

Baking is one of Marie’s favorite tasks. Rarely does anyone say thank you for cleaning the house and washing my clothes, but everyone loves her cakes, cookies, and pies? She’s proud of her baking skills. Although she rarely eats cake, she does love her Peppermint Patties.

When the twins come home from school, they sit down and she gives them each a glass of milk and some cookies. They love to dunk the cookies in cold milk. Marie is still bent over the ironing board making her way through the wrinkled clothing. Marie doesn’t have a dryer. She still hangs all her clothes on a clothesline out in the backyard. If it is raining or too cold outside, she hangs them on clotheslines in the basement. This is why they are wrinkled. If she doesn’t have time to iron all the clothing in one afternoon, Marie rolls up the clothes and puts them in the back of the refrigerator, until the next day.

Susan sits down and starts eating her cookies and dipping them in the cold milk. Susan’s twin sister says she will eat her cookie on the way to her friend’s house. “Alright, but go up and change into your play clothes before you go, and be home for dinner at 5:00. Don’t be late.”

“I won’t be. I’ll see you later.”

“Be careful riding your bike in the street.”

“Susan, so how was school today?”

“Mr. Mc Elliot was teaching us some words in French today. Also, he told me that he knows my brother Harry and that he used to work with him at the Post Office. He thinks he is one of the smartest people he ever knew.”

“Oh, I forgot about that. That was a long time ago.”

“Did anything else happen in school today, Susan?”

“Well, I was showing Mr. Mc Elliot some of my drawings that I made. Remember I drew all those pictures on the stiff paper Daddy gave me. Well, all the kids gathered around him to look at the drawings and were handing them to each other to look at. And I ask for them back. And they didn’t give them to me right away and I got mad.”

“Were you afraid you wouldn’t get them back?”

“No, I got mad because they were looking at my drawings but didn’t pay any attention to me, and I made the drawings.”

“Oh, you felt ignored. What kind of drawings were they?”

“Well, one of them was a drawing of a shooting star and the star had a face and a holster and was shooting a gun.”

“Oh, that was a clever idea, Susan. Why don’t you show them to me?”

“Mr. McElliot still has them, he said he’ll give them back tomorrow.”

“I’m sure he will Susan.”

“OK, Mom.”

“Why don’t you get change and go out and play for a while, I have to start dinner.”

“What are we having, Mom?”

“Your favorite, Susan, beef stew.”

“Great, Mom, I’ll be home on time.”

I go to my room and change my clothes and throw my uniform on my bed. I pull my play clothes out of the drawer and put them on. I grab my sneakers and shove my feet into them without untying the shoelaces.

I run down the steps two at a time.  Susan is about to run out the door and she says, “what kind of cake did you make, Mom?”

“Applesauce Cake, Susan, one of your favorites.”

“Oh, boy can I have some now?”

“No, you already had cookies, that’s for Sunday after dinner. It’s the dessert you know that.”

“OK, I’ll be home at five Mom.”

Marie has finished ironing for the day, so she rolls up any unfinished ironing and puts it in the back of the refrigerator on the second shelf under the milk and eggs. She goes over to the counter and pours herself a cup of hot coffee from the percolator and adds cream and three sugars. Marie doesn’t have a big appetite but she does love her sweets including sugar.

After Marie finishes her coffee, she washes the coffee cup and dries it, and puts it away. She decides she has time to wash the kitchen floor. So, she gets out the bucket and fills it with warm water and floor cleaner. First, she puts all the chairs upside down on the kitchen table and then sweeps the floor with the broom and dustbin. Then she washes the floor on her hands and knees from the front window all the way up the kitchen counters. She takes the bucket into the bathroom and dumps the dirty water down the toilet and flushes it.

Marie goes down to the shelf in the cellarway and gets out some of the newspaper.

She lays the newspaper on the kitchen floor. Because she knows one of the kids and some of their friends might show up and walk all over her clean floor looking for a snack.

It has been a long day, and Marie goes into her bedroom and takes off her shoes, and sits in her chair. This is really the first time she’s sat down all day. Marie wakes up at six o’clock sharp and goes to Mass every day, she’s never missed a single day. She belongs to the Altar and Rosary Society at the church and she attends Mass with them.

But now it is her time to relax. As she sits down in her rocker, she pulls her rosary out of her pocket and starts saying her prayers. It’s called “saying the Rosary.” Marie finds this ritual comforting. Sometimes she says some extra prayers from her prayer book. She prayers for all her children, the grown ones that have children of their own, and the two she still has at home. As she gets to the end of her prayers she starts to nod off. It has been a long day.

Marie wakes up with a start and looks at her clock it is four O’clock and she has to check on the Irish Stew she has on the stove and make the crust for the top and then put it in the oven. Luckily, Marie woke up just as the cake was finished baking and it didn’t burn. She can smell the wonderful smell of apples from the applesauce cake.

Marie rises from the rocking chair. It isn’t as easy to get up as it used to be. She puts her rosaries away and walks into the kitchen. The timer has just gone off on the cake that was in the oven and Marie gets her potholders and takes it out of the oven and puts it on the hot plate on the kitchen counter to cool off.

Then she walks over to the counter and gets the ingredients out to make the crust for the stew she has been cooking all day on the stove.

Irish Stew is usually made with lamb, but Harry doesn’t like lamb. So, Marie always makes it with beef.

The Beef Stew Recipe:

1/4 cup vegetable oil

1 1/4 pounds stew beef, cut into 1-inch pieces

6 large garlic cloves, minced

8 cups beef stock or canned beef broth1 tablespoon sugar

1 tablespoon dried thyme

1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce

2 bay leaves

2 tablespoons (1/4 stick) butter

1 large onion, chopped

2 cups 1/2-inch pieces peeled carrots

2 tablespoons chopped fresh parley

1 can of small potatoes (already peeled)

Preparation

Heat oil in a heavy large pot over medium-high heat. Keep the burner on low. Add beef and sauté until brown on all sides, about 5 minutes. And sauté 1 minute. Add beef stock, sugar, thyme, Worcestershire sauce, and bay leaves. Stir to combine. Bring mixture to boil. Reduce heat to medium-low, then cover and simmer for 1 hour, stirring occasionally.

Meanwhile, melt butter in another large pot over medium heat. Add potatoes, onion, and carrots. Sauté vegetables until golden, about 20 minutes. Add vegetables to beef stew. Simmer uncovered until vegetables and beef are very tender, about 40 minutes. Discard bay leaves. Tilt pan and spoon off fat.

Recipe for the Stew Crust  

And while the stew is simmering Marie makes the crust for the top of the stew.

1¼ cups all-purpose flour plus more for dusting your work surface

¼ tsp salt

6 tbsp unsalted butter and cut into 1/2 “cubes

2 tbsp chilled shortening and cut into ½ cubes

5 tbsp ice water

Using a dry ingredient measuring cup, add the flour to the mixer

Add the salt and then the chilled butter and shortening.

Cut the fat into the flour.  The butter should resemble small frozen peas.

Add the ice water, 1 tbsp at a time, just until a ball form.  Immediately stop mixing.

Remove the dough from the mixer bowl and using your thumbs, for a disc.

Enclose the dough in plastic wrap and place in the refrigerator for 1 hour.

On a lightly floured counter/surface, place the dough.  Try not to handle the dough too much, to prevent the butter pieces from melting.

You’ll need to roll out the dough to about 3 to 4 inches greater than the inside diameter of the pan.

Try and roll the dough out in a few ‘rolls’ as possible. Repeated rolling will overwork the dough, and will yield less flakey crust.

To transfer the dough to the pot, fold one half over, then fold over again into a quarter. Gently place onto the top of the large stew pot and then unfold the dough. Trim the edges with scissors.

Use your fingers to flute the edges.  Your pie dough is now ready for baking! And then bake in the oven until the crust is golden brown. Bake at 350 degrees for one hour or until the crust is golden brown.

Marie gets the large bowls, dishes and knives, and forks out for dinner and large spoons for the kids. At the last moment, she remembers to put salt and pepper on the table and bread. God, forbid she forgets the bread.

Marie sits down and has another cup of coffee; this is a quiet part of her day. She thinks about what she will cook tomorrow. About a half-hour goes by and Marie hears Susan coming in and slamming the front door behind her. “Susan what have I told you about slamming the door?”

“Sorry Mom, I always forget. Oh, Mom, I forgot to tell you earlier but after Mr. Mc Elliot looked at my drawings, he asks me what I wanted to be when I grew up.”
“What did you say, Susan?”
“I said I wanted to be an artist or a veterinarian.”

“Really, that’s wonderful.”

“Susan, could you take the newspapers off the floor for me. The floor is probably dry by now.”

“Sure, Mom. Can I watch Popeye after that?”

“Yes, after you pick up the newspaper.”

“OK, Mom.”

“I’ll call you for dinner, Susan.”

“Thanks, Mom. I love Irish Stew Mom. Thanks for making it. It’s my favorite.”

“I know it is Susan, that’s why I make it.”

At five o’clock sharp Susan’s twin sister arrives with a bang at the front door.”

Marie yells out, “Karen, I told you a million times not to slam the door.”

“Sorry, Mom. Is dinner ready? What are we having?”

“Irish Stew. Can you tell Susan that dinner is ready?”

Then she screams at the top of her lungs, Susie, dinner’s ready.”

“What did I tell you about yelling?”

“Sorry, Mom.”

And then the three of them have a delicious Irish Stew dinner. Harry is working the second shift this week, so he isn’t having dinner with them.

“That was great Mom,” said Susan and her sister in unison.

“Ok, why don’t you go do your homework.”

Susan says, do I have to do it now?”

“Yes, you do. If you get done before it’s dark you can go outside and play for a while.”

“OK, Mom.”

Marie starts clearing the table and washing the dishes, then she dries them and puts them away. She puts the leftover stew in a container on the counter to cool off before she stores it in the refrigerator. She wipes down all the countertops and the stove and the front of the oven.

She decides to read the newspaper in the living room, when Harry is home, she isn’t able to read the paper until he is finished with it. But for now, she can take all the time she wants to read it. Marie brings a cup of coffee to the dinner table and sits down. It always feels so good to get off her feet and relax. Marie reads the comics first as she sips her hot coffee, black with plenty of sugar. She takes a deep breath and relaxes.

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PART 2- ON THE WALK BACK TO GLAMPING CAMPING

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Joe and Frieda are hiking at a fairly fast clip and Kathie‘s getting a little out of breath since she already walked quite a distance. “Hey, you guys would you mind taking a short break before we make the rest of the hike back to the camp. I’m kind of bushed?”

“What? Of course not, no problem. I know a place up ahead about a quarter of a mile where we can rest on the beach near a gorgeous lake and cool off. What do you think? Would you like to do that? They also have a cabana there where you get a cold drink and some snacks. How’s that sound?”

“That sounds great, I would love to sit on the beach and have a cold drink. Let’s go for it.”
“Awesome, we could even take a dip in the lake and cool off. We went swimming there yesterday. And the water was so clear, you can see straight to the bottom of the lake. I’m sure you’ll love it.”

“Oh Frieda, I don’t have my bathing suit on under my clothes.”

“Oh, that’s not going to be a problem, don’t worry about it.” After about twenty minutes Kathie can hear people talking and laughing. The closer they got to the lake the louder the voices got louder. She doesn’t hear any kids yelling or playing.

“Oh, here we are Kathie, we know some of the people that are here because we come camping here almost every summer. I think you’ll love them as such open-minded and fun-loving people. I know you’ll love them, Kathie.”

Kathy can see the lake now, and it does look beautiful. “Wow, this is wonderful. No kids here, huh? That’s not a bad thing, it’s just that all the beaches I’ve been to in New Jersey were swarming with families and kids of all ages.”

“Oh, I guess I forgot to mention this is an adult beach only. But there are other lakes here that are family beaches, but all of them are clothing optional. I would have said something before, but most people know that before they come here. Although I guess Glamping Clamping doesn’t advertise it.”

“You’re kidding, I had no idea.” As Kathie looks up and down the beach, she sees that about one-half the people are wearing bathing suits and the other half, nothing. She decides that it doesn’t really bother her that much and plops down on the beach. “Well, I never went to a nude beach before, but I guess it’s not a big deal. But I think I’ll have to work up to it. Right now, I think I’ll just go get a cold drink and a snack.”

Kathie was relieved that the guy selling the drinks and snacks was wearing swimming trunks. “Hi, could I get a tall ice tea with ice?”

“Sure, coming right up. Is this the first time you came here to Glamping Camping? I don’t remember seeing you here before?”

“Yep, first time, turns out this is going to be my first time doing a lot of things here.”

The waiter chuckled, and said, “don’t worry you’ll get used to it.”

“Yes, I guess you can get used to anything, eventually, Thanks. “

I head back to where my new friends are standing on the beach and I’m somewhat surprised to see them standing in a group of people sans clothing. “Oh boy, here we go. Take a deep breath and keep walking Kathie. I said to myself.

“Oh, here she is now. I was just telling our friends here how we met you on the trail on our way here.’

I smiled and kept my eyes averted. I’m quite sure it is going to take me more than a little while to get used to talking to total strangers who are naked. “Oh hello, everyone, it’s so nice to meet you all. I was lucky to run into Joe and Freida this morning since I lost my way for a little bit. I never had a great sense of direction.”

Then everyone started introducing themselves to me, one by one. And I said jokingly, “I think it would be a lot easier if you all had name tags and I would remember your names better. Then I blushed, but they all laughed. And then I said, “Or not, LOL.”

Frieda said, “that’s a good one.” And she laughed.

“I think I’ll take a walk around the lake and check it out. It really is beautiful here.”

A young guy about my age asks me, “would you like some company?”

“Ah, yes, sure. I guess.”

“Oh, I’ll be right back I’m going to put on my swimming trunks since I know you are a newbie.”

I just stood there trying to decide if I was alright with the turn of events or if I wanted to run far, far away really fast. I decided to wait for him to return. I took a deep breath and waited. I decided I would wait and tell him I just wasn’t comfortable with the whole clothing-optional lifestyle.

After a couple of minutes, he came towards me. I relaxed as he had put shorts on. I realized I didn’t even know his name.” I’m sorry if Freda told me your name, I seem to have forgotten it all ready.”

“She didn’t. My name is Paul, Kathie. So, let’s take our walk and you can tell me what you’ve been up to so far.”

“Well not much really, I only just arrived a short time ago and after I settled into my little house, I took a hike, and lo and behold I saw a huge black bear up a tree. And it really freaked me out. I started running without really paying attention and got somewhat lost and that’s when I ran into Freda and Joe. And then we came here and I found out this it was a clothing-optional beach. Surprise, surprise, surprise.”

“Actually, you took it pretty well, some people might have run away. I felt awkward when I first came here, but now I don’t even think about the nudity.”

“If you say so, but I think it is something that will take me more than a little while to get used to. “

“You’re fine, don’t worry about it. It’s a choice, like I said, you do whatever you feel comfortable doing.”

“I appreciate that Paul, and I think I’m more of a traditional kind of person and I’m going to stick to swimming with people that wear bathing suits. No judgment, just my own comfort level.”

“Alright, no pressure, but maybe we could get together for lunch before you leave?”

“Thanks, but I already have my week planned out, it was nice meeting you, take care.”

The look on his face was heartbreaking really, but I turned and start walking away all the same. I felt bad if I hurt his feelings. But before I took this trip, I decided I was going to start listening to my inner voice and not to everyone around me. I felt proud that I was able to speak up for myself, but I felt a little guilty for hurting him.

I start hiking towards my little house and believe it or not I arrive there relatively unscathed and intact. I walk over to my little house and decide to take a shower and then a nap. It’s only about one 0’clock in the afternoon, but it had been a long day of traveling and hiking and weird experiences.

As I approach my little house, I can’t help but notice that the door is wide open. I walk slowly up to the door and peek in. I think well maybe housekeeping is in there? Nope, can’t be that I just arrived and it doesn’t need cleaning. Maybe, someone broke in and stole my belongings. Well, I had my wallet with me, and I didn’t bring any jewelry with me. Well, maybe a plumping problem?

I’m afraid to walk in so I just stick my head inside the door and I can’t help but notice that there is something or someone lying on top of my bed. What the heck is going on. I hear a loud sound, which I realize is snoring. But who or what is it? And then the snorer turns over and I see a hairy black face and I realize there is a hairy black body to go with it.

At first, my mind refuses to accept the reality of what I’m seeing. It is a bear; it is most likely The Bear that I saw earlier in the day up in the tree. What the heck, am I Goldilocks, are there three bears in there. I scream at the top of my lungs and run the fasted I have ever run in my life to the manager’s office.

I am so overwrought and freaked out that once I arrive at the office. I throw open the door and yell at the top of my voice, “BEAR, BEAR, BEAR.  There’s a Bear in my bed in my tiny house.”

The Manger takes his time responding to me, or even looking up. “What, a bear? That’s highly unlikely Miss.”

I scream again, ‘There’s a bear in my bed in my tiny house.”

“Well, I’m sure your mistaken. But, let’s go have a look shall we.”

My heart is beating so hard it feels like it might explode. “OK, that’s my house there, the one with the door wide open and he’s sleeping on my bed.”

“Sleeping on your bed, oh surely you’re mistaken.” If looks could kill this guy would be dear. I’m so mad at him for not taking me seriously.

He is about to walk into the house when I grab his arm and say, “are you insane? He’ll kill you, he’s huge, and by that, I mean HUGE.” He laughs at me and steps in through the doorway. I step back and then I move about ten feet away from the door to the right. If and when this bear comes running out, I don’t want to be in his path.

And that is when I hear the manager screaming, and running in my direction, he is yelling, ‘RUN, RUN, RUN.’

And I run toward the office. The manager is directly behind me, for an old guy he can really move. “GET IN CLOSE THE DOOR. GET IN.” And then he locked the door behind us and we pushed his desk up against it. As we are looking out the door window, we see the bear ambling away, ever so slowly. He’s not in any kind of rush. He swings his huge head in our direction and gives us what looks like a big, toothy grin. And then he heads back towards the woods.

Meanwhile, we are both shaking and out of breath, “dear god, I’ve never been more frightened in my life, he could have killed me with a swipe of his gigantic paw. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.”

“Maybe, I’m overreacting, but I believe that I need a vacation from this vacation. Between naked people swimming in the lake and bears sleeping in my little house, I think it’s time for me to go home.”

“Now miss, please reconsider, this is your first day, I’m sure it was just an aberration.”

“Nope, nope, I’m leaving and I’m sure you will give me a complete refund for this week considering what has happened here today, I’m sure you don’t want me to give you a bad review this early in the season.”

“Of course, no problem if you’re sure you won’t change your mind.”

“I’m sure, could you please walk me over to the tiny house so I can gather my belongings safely?”

“Yes, of course.”

He stuck his head out of the door and looked to the right and the left. No sign of the bear. “Looks like the coast is clear, let’s go.”

When we got back to my tiny house the door was all but torn off the hinges. We peeked in the door, and the bear was gone. “You first.” And he stepped into the room. The room looked like a cyclone had hit it. My clothes were strewn all over, the mattress was on the floor, as were the sheets, pillows, and quilt. “Good grief.”

“Ok, well, I’m just going to use the ladies’ room, gather all my belongings, could you please go back to the office and get my refund ready?”

“Yes, of course, I’m sorry this all happened. I hope in the future you might come again.”

I laughed and laughed. Then I went into the bathroom and took care of my business, gathered all my stuff, came back to the bedroom threw all my clothes in my suitcase. I took a good look around to make sure I didn’t miss anything. I put my stuff in the trunk of my car and drove it over to the manager’s office. He was waiting for me.

“Here’s a copy of the credit I applied to your credit card, I’m so sorry this happened. I can’t apologize too much. This sort of thing has never happened before.”

“Well, I say this for you. I have had a short but intense vacation. One that I will never forget. And I’m sure sometime in the distant future I’ll be able to laugh about this experience. But not today. Goodbye.

On the way home I thought, how will I ever top this vacation. And I headed back towards Route 9 and home.

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