Category Archives: Fiction

THE HITCHHIKER

It‘s the last week that I‘ll be driving to Santa Barbara from Lompoc. Because I’m graduating from college next week. I’ve been living in Lompoc, California for the last three years.

It’s a little over fifty-mile drive from Lompoc to Santa Barbara. But I‘ll miss the breathtaking mountainous landscape. The air is intoxicating. I would even miss the Santa Ana winds.

The Masked Man in a black cape

The people are friendly in California. I’ve made a great many friends while I lived here and I would miss them terribly. I hope that we’ll keep in contact with one another. But I know that our lives would be busy once we started working and move back to our respective home states.

When I was about halfway to Santa Barbara I see a lone figure on the road in the distance. I can’t imagine who would be hitchhiking at this time of the day because there is rarely any traffic. And the chance of getting a ride is unlikely. I rarely pick up hitchhikers because you just never know what might happen. Especially if it is an isolated area like it is here in the mountains. But I thought why not? I could not imagine passing this guy and leaving him to walk nearly fifty miles on foot. I’ll be fine.

As I get closer I realize that the hitchhiker is wearing some kind of long, black cape. And the cape is blowing and flapping in the Santa Anna wind. He looks like he might take off at any minute? Maybe I need to just pass on by him. He’s probably some kind of serial killer or something. I was within thirty feet of him and he turns around and looks straight at me. And that’s when I saw he was also wearing a black mask over his eyes. I almost step on the gas to speed by him. I mean who the hell goes out dressed in a cape and mask in the middle of nowhere?

But my curiosity is greater than my common sense as usual. I can not bear an unsolved mystery. If I don’t find out what this guy is all about it will drive me crazy. I’m the type of guy who is nosy and curious. And I just have to find out what this dude is all about.

So I start to slow down and pull over to the side of the road about five feet behind him and honk my horn. I’m certain this guy knew I was behind him the whole time. He doesn’t stop immediately, but he slows down and turns his head in my direction and stares straight into my eyes. It felt like he was burning holes right through me. I felt my body grow hot than cold. I felt like this was my body telling me that this guy was bad news. I was about to slam my foot down on the gas hard. When suddenly this guy was at the passenger side of the front seat and he pulled the door open and pulled it closed, hard. Then he reaches over and locks the door.

I am almost afraid to look away. In fact, I find I can’t look away even when I try. I feel like my eyes are locked onto his and I can’t turn away from him. And then just as suddenly he turns his head to stare out the front window. He doesn’t say a word to me, no hello, no thanks for picking me up. Nothing, nada. Zip, zero. So I take off the parking brake, and put the car in drive, and take off.

After about twenty minutes of driving in silence, I try to summon up the courage to say something to this freak. I clear my throat about five times and manage to squeak out, “so what’s your story?”

He ignores me completely, it’s like he doesn’t see or hear me. I start to sweat big time. I’m having an adrenaline rush, first the sweats, then chills, and now my throat feels as dry as the Sahara Desert. I decide I will just have to try and calm down. I know it’s my own fault that I found myself in this precarious position. I’m always doing things that all common sense would tell anyone else no way, no how. But not me, I jump in the deepest creek or even worse the shallow water without a second thought. It’s like I have some sort of death wish or something. I’m an impulsive guy. And that’s not a good thing. Ever.

Another ten minutes goes by. I turn my head and look at him and he’s still sitting there as if he has turned into stone. No expression on his face on what I can see of his face. It doesn’t even look like he’s breathing.

I decide to act casual as if this is an ordinary occurrence for me. Like I pick up masked strangers wearing long, black capes every day, all day long. I try again, “so are you headed for Santa Barbara for any reason in particular? I’m going to college there. This is my last week and then I graduate and I’m moving back to the Philadelphia area. Where are you from?”

He doesn’t say anything. This has got to be the weirdest guy I’ve ever met or maybe met isn’t the right word? Maybe encountered is the right word. I hope I don’t have a problem getting rid of him at some point. I pray this doesn’t turn out to be the worse mistake I ever made. “Hey buddy, I’m going to have to stop at the first gas station along the way. Do you want to get out then? I’m kind of in a hurry I have to get to school, exams this week. So, I definitely think you should find another ride when I stop for gas. I look at him, he is like a black hole, no reaction. I start sweating.

I see the gas station is up on the right. “OK, buddy we’re here. This is where you get off. I pull into the gas station and ask the attendant to fill it up. I have to go to the bathroom. So, good luck buddy.” I give him one last look and turn and head toward the men’s room.

As I open the men’s room door I look right and left and don’t see my weird masked hitchhiker. Gone, he’s gone. Good riddance buddy, good luck you’re going to need it I mumble to myself. Maybe, just maybe I have learned something from this experience. I walk toward the gas pumps. And I see nothing. My car is gone and so is my masked companion. Gone with the wind and took my freaking car with him. That is when I realize that I left my keys in the ignition. And I had just used the last of my cash to fill up my gas tank.

I run over to the gas station attendant that waited on me. “Hey did you see that masked man take off with my car?” If I wasn’t on the edge of losing my mind I would have laughed at what the words that just came out of my mouth.

The gas station attendant said, “oh yeah he left about five minutes ago. Was that his car? What’s with the mask and cape? I’m surprised you would hitch a ride with that weirdo. You should be more careful.”

At this point I feel like the top of my head is about to explode. My face is burning up. I scream, “that was my car, he stole my car. And you’re right I should have been more careful. Can I use your telephone to call the police? I don’t have any more money I used it all on the gas.”

“Yes, go ahead. How did he start your car?”

“I left the keys in the car, yes, I’m that stupid.”

I run into the gas station and grab the phone. “Hello, my name is David Stein.” I’m at the Sunoco Station on Route 101 ten miles north of Santa Barbara. My car was just stolen by a masked guy wearing a cape he is driving my car which is a Pontiac Firebird. It is Cherry red. I gave the guy a hitch and when I was using the toilet he stole my car.”

I stood there at the gas station for a good hour and a half waiting. I didn’t know what to do. After a while of standing, I sat down on the curb and covered my eyes. I was afraid that I was going to start crying in front of the gas station attendant and anyone else that happened to be there. I was mentally beating myself up, telling myself over and over how stupid I was. My last week of school, and now this happens. I feel like throwing up.

The gas station attendant comes sauntering over to me, ever so slowly. “Hey buddy, the cops just called, they said they caught your guy. He made it all the way to the outskirts of Santa Barbara and one of the local cops noticed your weirdo in the mask and cape getting out of your red car and arrested the guy after he couldn’t show proof of ownership. And then he checked your plates and it was your car. They arrested the guy and he is on his way to the slammer. They are on their way here to pick you up. You will have to go with them to show proof that the car is yours. And then he turns and walks away.

At this point, I don’t know if I feel like crying or laughing. So I do both. Wow, this day has been one for the books. I plop down on the curb again and wait and wait. Finally, the cops show up. I walk over to the car and say, “yeah, hi. I’m the guy whose car got stolen by a guy with a black mask and cape on? Is my car alright?”

The two cops look like they were on the verge of laughing at me. But hold it back. Probably because they could see the tears staining my dirty face. “Get in the back buddy, and we’ll take you to the station. Do you have proof of ownership?”

“Yes, it’s in my wallet.”
“You know you shouldn’t have picked up that weirdo, right? And you should never have left the keys in the car with a hitchhiker was in the back while you went to the bathroom, right?”

“Yes, I do. It was a mistake. Believe me, I have learned my lesson. Never trust a man wearing a mask and a cape. And who is that masked man, do you know?”

“Yes, we know who he is. His name is Michael Splain. He escaped from the Federal Penitentiary in Lompoc. They can’t explain where he got the mask and cape but they did say he was a total nut job and you’re lucky that he didn’t do more than steal your car.”

“Yeah, I’m lucky. Lucky he didn’t kill me. I know I will never pick up another hitchhiker as long as I live.”

“Ok let’s go we’ll take you to the impound lot and you can get your car back. They might charge you for having it there if it stays there overnight so we better get going.”

I jump in the back seat of the patrol car. And my internal dialogue begins, when will you ever learn to not trust everyone you meet, stop being a sucker, stop being a bleeding heart? And on and on and on.

When we arrive at the impound the cop that talks to me says, “so you’re the guy that got robbed by the masked marauder?”

I hang my head down. I realize that I am never going to hear the end of this episode of my life and didn’t know how I would top it. But I knew that somehow, someday I would.

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INSOMNIA

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If you’ve ever suffered from insomnia even for a short time you will understand how I feel. And why what happened on that particular night transpired. I have to say that I have lived my entire life sleep-deprived. My mother told me long ago when I was a baby and a young child, she had difficulty getting me to go to bed, fall asleep and stay asleep the entire night.

Nightmare Monster

She told me sometimes it took her an hour to get me to go to bed and stay there. That I would get up many times and ask for water, or tell her I was hungry or that I had to go to the bathroom. Sometimes even after my parents and older siblings were all fast asleep, she would be awakened by me standing next to her bed and saying,” I can’t fall asleep or I had a terrible nightmare. Or she would get up to go to the bathroom sometime after midnight and find me lying on the floor eyes wide open. She would say,” Ellie why are you out of bed?” You need to go back to your room and go to sleep you have to go to school in the morning and I have to go to work. Please, please go back to your room and get some sleep.”

My father worked the night shift and I rarely saw him. I wouldn’t dare go into my parent’s room when he was home at night. He would yell, “what is that kid doing in our room again, can’t you make her stay in her bed?” My mother said, “I did, she has trouble sleeping and she becomes frightened when she is lying awake in the dark. She has a vivid imagination.

“Put her to bed and make her stay there or I’ll lock her in there and make her sorry she doesn’t stay in her room at night.”

My father had a short fuse and I had no doubt that he would make me sorry for not staying in bed.

“Come on Ellie let’s go back to your room and I will sit with you until you fall asleep.” And as tired as she must have been she would come and sit by my bed and sing quietly next to me until I drifted off to sleep. She called it the Land of Nod.

” The Land of Nod is the reason that I didn’t want to fall asleep because I knew only too well that I didn’t want to go there again. Because it is a place where nightmares begin.

But the horrors that take place there don’t always end when you open up your eyes. Most people don’t hear the voices that I hear when I return from the Land of Nod. I can still see the monsters that dwell there and remember the horrific things they told me.

The Land of Nod is not the peaceful place you might imagine it to be. It is a land of tormented exile rather than a place of peaceful sleep. Some lost souls become vanquished to this place of eternal nightmares. They cannot get out and return to their waking life. They are possessed by the evil that dwells there.

One night I lay down on my bed and the next thing I know I‘m climbing up a rusty metal winding staircase on the side of an ancient Victorian house. As I climb upward toward the roof, I can’t see any end to the ladder. The roof seems to move farther and farther away instead of closer. It begins to rain and become extremely windy. The rain is hitting me hard. It feels like bullets are pelleting me. The staircase becomes extremely slippery. It begins to sway from the left to the right and back again. It bangs against the side of the old house over and over. I fight my way up the stairs to the roof.

Finally. I reach the roof and as I look up, I see what I can only describe as a face full of hatred and disgust. There is steam rising from its body. I almost lose my grip on the ladder in an effort to remove myself from the creature’s presence. He thrust out his scaled and crusty claw to grab me. My terror at the thought of this monster touching me is greater than my fear of falling from the roof. I let go and just as I was about to slam to the ground and no doubt die, I wake up with a start in a cold and clammy sweat.

I reluctantly open my eyes one at a time. Terrified at where I might be. I realize I’m in my room. I’m about to crawl out of my bed when I hear my closet door creaking open. Before my eyes, I see the scaley face and toothy grin of the creature that has been waiting for me on the roof. The last thing I remember seeing is the awful vision of the creature licking his lips in anticipation of devouring me.

I close my eyes tightly and hold my breath. Fearing what terrible event might take place. I wait for what seems an eternity. Finally, I open my eyes and stare across the room and I see nothing except that my closet door is wide open. There are huge reptilian footprints on the carpet. I let out a scream so loud that both my father and mother come running into my room.

“Dear god Helen what is wrong with this child? Why can’t she go to sleep and stay asleep until morning. Why is she always waking up every night screaming like a banshee?”

“I don’t know Henry. She’s a child. Children have highly active imaginations. They have nightmares. What do you expect me to do? I give her a warm bath before bed. I give her warm milk to help her sleep. I sit with her for hours at night. Sometimes she seems fine when I first put her to bed. And then in about fifteen or twenty minutes, she starts twitching and moaning. And then before you know it, she starts screaming. It’s very hard to wake her up then. I have to really shake her hard. It’s like the nightmares have a tight grip on her. It’s scary. Sometimes I’m afraid that I won’t be able to wake her up and she is a prisoner to these horrible nightmares she has.”

“Well Helen, you have got to do something. How can I go to work and do my job when I never get a decent night’s sleep? You are going to have to take her to the doctors and see if there is anything they can do. I’m exhausted.”

“Henry we’re all exhausted. I’ll see if the pediatrician can offer some kind of solution or if he can refer me to a therapist of some kind who can help her.”

“Do it tomorrow, Helen, I’m at the end of my rope. Do you understand?”

“Yes Henry, I understand. Tomorrow.”

The next day my mother says to me, “Ellie I made an appointment for you to go to the doctor.”

“No, I don’t want to go to the doctor, I hate when she gives me shots. I don’t want to, no.”

“Ellie, I’m sorry but you are going. He won’t be giving you any shots. This is a different kind of doctor. He is the kind of doctor that just talks to you to see if anything is troubling you or making you upset. I want you to talk to him about the problems you have sleeping and the nightmares you have all the time. He is just going to listen to you that’s all. And then he will talk to you and me and tell us what he thinks is causing your sleep problems and try to make it better. Do you understand?”

“Yes, but I can’t tell him about the Land of Nod.”

“The Land of Nod?”

“Yes, you told me that I go to the Land of Nod when I go to sleep. It is terrible there. There are horrible monsters that live there. And they try to kill me and eat me. Sometimes they come back with me when I wake up to my room and they try to kill me. They hide in my closet.”

“Ellie, the Land of Nod isn’t a place. It’s just an expression for going to sleep. Anything that you see in your dreams is just your imagination at work. We all have nightmares sometimes if we go to sleep and we are overtired or had a bad day or something upsetting happens before we go to bed. I’m sure the doctor will tell you the same. How about you go and get dressed and wash your face. Then come into the kitchen and I’ll make you some hot oatmeal. I know you love that.”

“Ok mom, I’ll get dressed and come eat breakfast.”

After breakfast, I went into the kitchen and my mother said “Ellie please go brush your teeth and then put on your jacket. I don’t want to be late.”

“Ok mom, I’ll be right back.”

My mother didn’t talk much on the ride to the doctor’s office. I kept my fingers crossed and hope the doctor wouldn’t give me a needle. Cause I hate needles.

“Ellie, we’re almost there. Don’t worry she’s just going to talk to you. All you have to do is answer his questions truthfully.”

“Ok mom, I will.”

A few minutes later we got to the doctor’s office and we were told to have a seat until we were called in to talk to the doctors. It seemed like we sat there forever. And then a pretty lady came out and said Ellie can you come with me?’

My mom nodded her head and said, “go on Ellie everything is going to be alright, I promise.”

The pretty lady said, “here, we are please just have a seat and Dr. Robbins will be right in.”

I sat there and sat there for a long, long time. And then a short chubby old man came in. He was wearing his going to church clothes. He had a long black and grey beard. He said.” hello, miss Elie. I’m Doctor Robbins and we are just going to have a little talk about the trouble you have sleeping. Can you tell me about that?”

I looked at him and he sat and waited for me to say something. I couldn’t decide if I should tell him about the Land of Nod or not. But my mother said that he was going to help me sleep better and I was really tired. “Ok, I’m afraid to fall asleep at night because of what happens after I fall asleep. I’m afraid to go to the Land of Nod, and what happens there and because sometimes the monsters are going to hurt me. And sometimes when I wake up in my bed the monsters are in my room.”

“The Land of Nod? What is that, Ellie?”

“Oh, that’s what my mom calls the place you go when you fall asleep.”

“What do you see there Ellie? “

“There are monsters, they are really scary they usually have been long, sharp teeth and long claws. Sometimes they can fly. They tell me that they are going to kill me or my mom and dad.”

“Oh, that sounds really scary. What happens when you wake up Ellie?”

“Mostly I wake up in my bed because my mom comes in and shakes me cause I was crying or screaming in my sleep and wake my dad up and he gets really mad at me when I do that. Cause he has to go to work and he’s always tired. I don’t want to wake him up so I try to keep myself awake all night so I won’t wake up screaming and getting my dad mad.”

“Does anything else happen after you wake up?”
I look at the doctor really hard because I wanted to be sure I should tell him about the monsters coming back from the Land of Nod with me. His face looks like he really wants me to tell him the truth. “Yes, sometimes the monsters come back with me to my room sometimes they hide under the bed, and sometimes they are hiding in my closet to kill me or my mom and dad.”

“Ellie you must be really scared when you see that. Did you ever tell your Mom and Dad that?”

“I did tell my mom once but she didn’t believe me so I don’t tell her anymore. She told me it was just a nightmare and not real. But it is, I can feel the monster’s breath on my face and it smells like burning. Sometimes it spits at me and I have to go in and wash my face because it burns. I really scream when that happens and that’s when I wake my mom and dad up.”

“Alright Ellie, I think I understand now. I’m going to go talk to your mom and then she will be able to take you home. Just sit here quietly for a few minutes.

The doctor asks his assistant to call Ellie’s mother into his office. She arrived looking exhausted with dark circles under her eyes and a worried expression on her face.”

“Well doctor, what do you think is going on with Ellie?”

“Mrs. Lipton what is happening to Ellie and it’s not unusual for this to happen to children in her developmental stage is that she is having Night Terrors. Well, the best description of a Night Terror is that is a vivid dream. Sometimes it can be a result of some trauma, but most often it is an inherited trait that might run in your family. Did you and anyone in your family have night terrors that you know of Mrs. Lipton?”

“Not in my family as far as I know of doctor. But I don’t know about my husband’s family. Is there anything you can tell me to do because my husband isn’t getting enough sleep because of being woken up at night.

“Well yes, a few things making sure she is relaxed and sleepy when she goes to bed. Perhaps giving her a hot bath might help. Try and reassure her that she just needs to quiet herself and think of things that make her happy. Reassure her that she is loved. And perhaps sit by her bed until she falls asleep. Ultimately, she will outgrow this behavior as she gets older. About 40 percent of children have these night terrors. Do not wake her up when she is having one. Sometimes children can act out if that happens. It is not uncommon for children to sleepwalk while they are having a night terror.”

“Really, oh dear. That’s is scary.”

“As I said as her nervous system becomes fully developed these dreams will resolve themselves. Try to have a ritual before she retires for the night. Taking a bath, having some warm milk. Saying her prayers if you do that. And finally kissing her good night and she closes her eyes and waiting for her to fall asleep. If this doesn’t work, we will consider sending her to a sleep lab. Call me and let me know how she is doing, alright?

“Yes, I understand Doctor thanks for your help. I hope it works. I will keep in touch.”

“Alright my nurse will be bringing Ellie out to the waiting room now. Goodbye.”

Ellie followed the nurse out to the waiting room. She saw her mom sitting there and said, “can we go now. I’m really tired?”

“Yes let’s go home and see what we can have for lunch shall we. What would you like Ellie?”

“Oh, vegetable soup and a grilled cheese sandwich. That’s my favorite.”

“That’s what it will be then. As they drove towards home. Ellie’s mother could see her eyes kept closing and then she saw Ellie was asleep. Ellie’s mom thought, oh what a relief. She continued on her way home without any incident and suddenly she heard a weird growling noise from the back seat. She thought it was the car backfiring at first and then she realized it was a low growling. So, she looked in the rear-view mirror and she glanced at Ellie who was now wide awake and she had her mouth wide opened in a silent scream. The growling noise got louder and she saw something so terrifying that her mind wanted to block it out. But it couldn’t there was a creature with a long snout full of huge fangs and it was above Ellie’s head looking as if it was about to bite off Ellie’s head.

Helen thought she must be losing her mind. How could she be seeing this living nightmare? She kept staring at it, the huge orange, bulging eyes, the horns that look like they could kill someone with ease. And then it open’s its mouth wide and spewed forth the most acrid, decaying smell she had ever experienced. And that is when Helen was awakened by a loud noise. Her car had just slammed into the median strip in the middle of the highway. Ellen’s eyes opened and she realized she had fallen to sleep at the wheel and crashed her car. At that moment she remembered from a long-buried memory that she had experienced night terrors as a child and Ellie must have inherited it from her. And then the lights went out when she lost consciousness. The next thing she was aware of was when she woke up in an ambulance with her daughter lying beside her on a gurney. She was banged up and bruised but alive.

Helen and Ellie heard a calming voice saying, “you are going to be alright. We are on our way to the emergency room. Everything is going to be alright. Try to rest now.”

Helen looked at Ellie looked at one another tears ran down their cheeks. Knowing that they would never have a peaceful sleep again.

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GROWING UP IS HARD TO DO

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The subway stations are all but abandoned save for a few brave souls that kept going to work during the first year after the pandemic started. Fortunately, I was able to work from home for that first lonely year. I live in a three-story walkup 120 square foot studio apartment on Locust Street in Philadelphia. It’s located right next to Rittenhouse Square. I love this part of the city, close to transportation, restaurants, and museums.

Rittenhouse Square- Philadelphia, Pa

If you ever want to know what it’s like living in a prison cell you are welcome to stop by and see my “apartment.” I just graduated from Temple University last year and I was hired to work as a graphic designer for a packaging company. Which is great. On the other hand, the pay isn’t great, and also not to mention the lack of benefits the first year.

I have always considered myself something of a loner. Spending your workday alone is almost a given in my business. Unless you are working in a corporation that has teams working on design projects. Unfortunately, I was hired by a start-up company that only has three employees and the owners. So, you have to be a jack of all trades here. And you can expect to work a lot of overtime.

Before I graduated from Temple with my MA I was living at home with my parents and younger brother and commuting from New Jersey daily. That got really old after a while because most days my classes were scheduled first thing in the morning and then a class after dinner. So, I had to commute back and forth a couple of times a day. Which was expensive because I had to pay bridge tolls to cross the bridge twice a day.

That’s why I decided to get an apartment in Philly as soon as I got a job. Luckily, I got hired right after graduation. It took me almost a month to find an affordable apartment. When I first went to see it, I didn’t realize just how small it was because it was empty. And I was so excited about finding an available and affordable place to live I didn’t really think about how really tiny it was. The fact that it had a mini-fridge, no stove, just a toaster oven. But I didn’t really think about those things until the day I moved in. When I realize there was no way in hell that my double bed is going to fit.

My dad takes one look at the place and says,” good lord you might have mentioned how small this place is. Your furniture isn’t going to fit in here, nowhere, no how, no way. Let’s take this all back home and go take a look at IKEA has to offer in way of furniture that is convertible from a bed to a couch and a small desk and chair that you can eat on and also use as a work desk. Maybe I can build you a drafting table that flips up and out of the way on the wall. And did you realize there’s only one closet for storage? I don’t know where you’re going to put your bike. Maybe I can hang hooks from the ceiling for the bike? How about if right now you really take a good look around and see what has to stay and what has to go back home to the garage?”

I look at my dad and I really want to disagree with him. But as I take a really close look around, I realize he’s absolutely right. So, I keep my mouth shut. Then I start going through the boxes we already brought in and take only the essential items. Everything else goes back in the boxes to return to my old house. I start making a list in my head about what I definitely need to keep. We end up taking about two-thirds of my stuff back home. And then we make a trip to IKEA. I buy a small convertible couch/bed. and some storage shelves. I guess I not going to be eating as I used to since I’ll have to do all my cooking in a toaster oven.

Not to mention that I’m going to be washing my dishes and my face and hands in the kitchen sink since there isn’t a sink in the bathroom. Only a shower that looks like a tall skinny coffin and a toilet. I‘m going to have to get food for one or two days at a time. Since I only had a mini-fridge. I bought the smallest microwave I could find. I cross my fingers and hope it will fit on the three-foot countertop.

I’m not as stoked as I was early this morning but still, I’m finally on my way to becoming a working artist in my own place. Even if it’s an apartment made for the seven dwarfs or something. My dad and I bring all the stuff up the three flights of stairs. We’re both exhausted by the end of the day. Billy how about coming home for dinner and then I’ll give you a lift back here tomorrow morning. And you can get a good meal and sleep in a comfortable bed?”

I want to say no, but I am exhausted and hungry. “OK, sure that would be great. I’m starving. Do you know what Mom’s making for dinner?”

“Oh, she told me she was making tortellini and meatballs tonight. Isn’t that one of your favorites?”

“Yeah, yeah it is.” And so, I stay over for the second last night at my childhood home before I move into my own place. I have to admit I’m really going to miss my mother’s cooking. I sleep like a log.

I hear my mom calling me from downstairs, “Billy breakfast is ready. I made your favorite eggs over easy and crispy bacon.” I realize I’m going to miss more than my mother’s cooking. I’m going to miss my mother. You probably won’t believe this but for a moment I have to fight back the tears. I’ll deny it if you ever tell anyone I said that. But my parents are the best, especially my mom. The smell of the bacon frying calls me downstairs and I just throw on yesterday’s shirt and pants, dirty socks, and old sneakers. I consider washing my face but decide it’s not worth the trouble since I’ll be sweaty and dirty in a couple of hours.

I swallow the last bite of a bacon and egg sandwich and sigh. “That was great Mom. It really hit the spot.” My mom comes over and gives me a hug. And once again I feel the urge to start crying. Really, what the hell is happening to me? I haven’t cried since I was in middle school and wasn’t picked to be on the soccer team. My day looks at me and my mom and I saw him swallow hard. “Ok, Ok that’s enough of that. We have a lot of work to do today. Marion, he isn’t going to be that far away, just over the Ben Franklin Bridge. We can see him anytime we want to.”

I look at my dad and say, “What, wait you have to call me before you show up. What if I have friends over or a girlfriend?”

“Ok, I was just making a point so your mother wouldn’t be so upset.”

We all look at each other and then I and my dad look down at the floor. My dad says, “Let’s be on our way we have a lot of heavy lifting to do and I’m not as young as I used to be.”

My mom says, “be careful don’t overdo either of you.”

“We’ll be fine. Marion, I probably won’t be back until dinner time so don’t make any big meals just in case I’m late. See you later.” He grabs his car keys from the hook and heads out the door.

I stand up and my mom hugs me again, “Don’t be a stranger. And let me know when we can come to visit and see your new place.”

“Ok, Mom but I don’t know if three people can fit into my apartment. Maybe one of you will have to wait in the hallway until the other one comes out.”

“What, what do you mean by that?”

“I mean it is a very tiny apartment.”

“Oh, I’m sure it will be fine. We all have to start somewhere. I know someday you’ll be a big success.”

“Thanks, Mom you were always my best cheerleader. Thanks for having faith in me.” This time I give her a hug. I realize I will miss hugging her and smelling of Chanel number five.”

I turn quickly away and take a deep breath and take my first step forward into my future. Then I start double-stepping it because I hear my father honking his horn impatiently. When I get up to the car, I open the door and say, “calm down, calm down will ya?”

“Get in, get in we don’t have all day. I have other things to do you know?”

“Sorry, Dad didn’t mean to keep you waiting.”

“Yeah, I know women always got to make everything a big emotional thing.”

I take a good look at my father and his eyes are all red. “Ok dad let’s get going.”

An hour later we were looking for a parking spot in front of my building we kept going round and round the block. On our fourth go-round a car finally pulled out and my dad expertly backs right into it. Luckily, his van had doors on the side and we can get my stuff out.

Two hours later we took our last load of my stuff up the three flights of stairs. I feel like I’m going to pass out. I can only imagine what my old man feels like. When we get inside, I go in the fridge, and lo and behold the former tenant left two bottles of Pepsi in the fridge. “Hey Dad, guess what? Two bottles of Pepsi, cold Pepsi.”

“What, you’re kidding. So, hand it over, hand it over. I’m about to die over here.”

Three hours later we had just about finished everything. I don’t think I could possibly fit one more thing in my new apartment. “Dad, I can’t believe it, but we’re done. How about we throw some water on our faces and get some lunch. I noticed there was a little luncheonette down the street. What do you say? My treat.”

“I say, hell yeah lead the way.”

We threw some water on our faces from the little sink, and wash our hands without soap because I forgot to bring any, and we head out to the EL Merkury.
El Merkury has everything you didn’t know you were craving until the moment you start eating it. My dad and I both ordered the black bean and cheese-stuffed pupusas and ice cream sundaes. I honestly thought I was going to throw up I ate so much. My dad says, “well, I don’t think I’ll be able to eat dinner tonight.”

“Me either, but that’s probably because I didn’t do any food shopping yet.”

“You’ll survive. When your mother and I first got married we hardly had any money and we ate beans and hotdogs for weeks at a time. And popsicles for dessert. I couldn’t eat hotdogs or popsicles for years after that. I know you are going to do great in the city. In fact, I envy you. Your whole life is ahead of you. I know you will be successful but it will take time and hard work. That’s about all the advice I have for you. I’m going to be on my way now. My last words are don’t be a stranger. Remember if you ever need us we will be there for you. And then he came over and gave my shoulders a squeeze and turned and walked out the door. And that is when what tear I had been holding back all day slid down my cheek along with a whole lot of other tears. I wiped them away with the back of my hand. I pushed my seat back put a tip on the table and walked over to the counter and paid my bill. “Thanks that was great,” I said to the cashier. She gave me a big smile, and said,” please come again.” And I walked out the door and into my new life.

As I was going out the door, I heard the jukebox playing some old song called, GROWING UP IS HARD TO DO BY the Ginger Snaps. “What else can I say? It ain’t easy.”

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THE JOURNEY BEGINS

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I grew up in foster care. I can hardly remember what my mother looked like. I do remember her telling me that I was in a lot of trouble and she couldn’t take care of me anymore. I think I was about five years old at the time. Some old lady with grey frizzy hair and thick glasses came to our house. My mother answered the door Then she shoved me and a dirty pillowcase full of my dirty clothes out the door. Then she slammed the door. I could hear her putting the chain across the door.

I felt two tears run down my cheeks and I rubbed them off with the back of my hand. The lady stood there on the outside of the door and knocked hard several times. My mother didn’t open the door. I knew she wouldn’t. My mother never changes her mind. Little Girl Crying

The lady said,” well I’m your social worker, Mrs.Walker. That means I will make sure that your needs are met and that you are living in a safe place. The lady took my hand and said, “Dear, I’m taking you to live with a wonderful lady that loves pretty little girls like you. And there are other little kids for you to play with too. And you’ll have a little girl your age to share a room. It’s not too far away. Let’s go.

The lady with the grey frizzy hair helps me get buckled into the back seat of the car. And says,” What do you like to be called, honey?”

“Well, my name is Marguerite. But I like to be called Marty.”

“Well, Marty it is. You will see a lot of me. If you ever have a problem, you can talk to me about it. So, try to relax and you’ll be at your new home in no time at all.”

I sat there in the back seat and I didn’t say another word. I made a promise to myself that I would never let anyone see me cry again. And I never did. If I ever felt like crying again, I would run outside and cry or hide in a closet where no one would see me.

As I was sitting in the back seat, I realize that I didn’t take my stuffed animal, Stuey. He was beaten up and dirty-looking. He was missing one of his button eyes. But he was all mine. I want to start crying again, but I didn’t. I say, “I forgot Stuey, I forgot Stuey.”

“Who’s Stuey, Marty?”

“He’s my best friend, he sleeps with me at night.”

“Oh, is he a stuffed animal Marty?”

“Yes, but I can’t sleep without him.”

“Well, I’ll go get him after I drop you off at your new house. And I will bring him to you. I promise. You can trust me.”

I didn’t trust her. I was sure I would never see her or Stuey or my mother again. I wanted to start whaling and stamping my feet. But I didn’t say anything. I just sat there and it felt like the end of the world to me. Nothing would ever be the same. I didn’t say another word while we got to the house where somebody I didn’t know would take care of me. I couldn’t understand what I did wrong to make my mother stop loving me. I was sure there was something wrong with me. But I didn’t know what it was so I couldn’t change it.

After what seemed to be forever the lady pulled up to the curb in front of a house with a bunch of kids running around in the front yard. “Well, here we are Marty. This will be your new home.” It looked like a nice house. There were toys and bikes all over the front yard.

Some of the kids look about my age but some of the other kids were bigger. The yard was big and had all kinds of flowers and trees. I never really had a yard to play in before. I wish I had Stuey so I wouldn’t feel so alone. I didn’t have anyone to love me anymore. I was going to live here with some lady I didn’t know, and a bunch of kids who probably wouldn’t like me. I squeezed my eyes shut tight. So, I didn’t start crying again.

“Come on Marty let’s get out of the car and go knock at the door. I promise everything is going to be alright. I’m going to give you my phone number so you can call me if you have any problems at all. Any kind of problem no matter how big or small, OK?”

“But I don’t know how to use the phone. Our phone didn’t work because my mom didn’t have money to pay the bill.”

“Really, well before I leave, I will show you how to use the phone and then you can practice doing it while I’m here. I promise you can trust me.”

“Really, you will let me do that?”

“Yes, Marty I will. After you meet Mrs. Taylor, you will see what a nice lady she is and that you can talk to her too. She has been fostering kids for years. And I’ve known her for a long time. I trust her.

As we walk up to the front door a girl about as big as I was came running over. She started talking really fast to me. “Hiya, I’m Missy. I knew you were coming today and I’m so happy because you are going to share a room with me. I always wanted to have a sister. And now I do. Come on in and see our room.”

And then she grabbed my hand and pulled me into the house after she open the door with a bang. I thought for sure someone would come out and yell at us. But no one did.

Then I saw a pretty lady with an apron on come walking towards us. “Oh, there you are I was waiting for you. I’m Mrs. Taylor. I’m so happy you got here before lunch. I’m making grilled cheese sandwiches and chicken noodle soup for lunch. Missy why don’t you go with Marty and show her where the bathroom is and your bedroom. And by then lunch will be ready. Don’t forget to wash your hands.”

Missy grabbed my hand and said,” come on.” And she pulled me by my hand and showed me the bathroom. She quickly washed her hands and then she said, “I’ll be outside the door. Don’t forget to wash your hands after, or you’ll get in trouble.”

“Will I get hit if I don’t do it or I forget?”

“What? No, Mrs. Taylor is really nice you’ll like her. She hardly ever yells.?”

I walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind me. I look in the mirror and I could see my face had tear stains running down my face. My face looked dirty. I guess I didn’t wash myself this morning. Sometimes I forgot and my mother never said anything to me. Sometimes I didn’t have any clean clothes to wear. My mother didn’t always remember to do the wash. She was always sleeping on the couch all day. I don’t know why she was always so tired. She didn’t go to a job. She told me that she got Welfare checks cause she was “sick.” But I never knew why she was sick. Sometimes she said my dad was a good-for-nothing who didn’t care about me or her. And he never sent her any money to buy food or clothes. Next thing I knew I heard Missy saying, “hey come on out lunch is ready. We are waiting for you.”

When I closed the bathroom door behind me, I hear Missy say,” we’re in here, come on or your food will be cold” When I got to the kitchen the pretty lady and Missy and two little boys were sitting at the table…” Where’re all the other kids?”

“This is the whole gang, you, me, and these two. Mikey and Jimmy. Mikey has curly red hair, and Jimmy has blond hair. The other kids outside are our friends who live down the street. You can meet them later. Dig in.

After lunch, Missy said “now we all help to clear the table and bring the dishes to the sink. But first, you have to scrape the dishes and then wash them. I clean the table. The boys make sure all the chairs are pushed in and put the table cloth back on. If you want to you can dry the dishes after I wash them. And then I’ll show you where they go. We are supposed to brush our teeth after every meal too. Then we can go out and play or watch TV or play games.”

I stood there listening to her transfixed by how happy she sounded talking about how they all work together to get the work done. “OK, I’ll dry the dishes. But I never did that before. My mom always used paper plates and paper cups. She didn’t like washing dishes. She didn’t like to cook either. We always ate MacDonald’s or Burger King for dinner. I used to make myself peanut butter sandwiches for lunch. We never cleaned the kitchen.”

“Really, well everyone helps here. And Mrs. Taylor always cooks a hot lunch and dinner. And on Sunday she makes a homemade cake. My favorite is chocolate cake with vanilla icing. What kind do you like?”

“I don’t know my mom didn’t make cakes.”

“Well, I guess you’ll just have to try all the cakes and find out which is your favorite?”
“

Really, I would love that.”

After we cleaned up the kitchen me and Missy and Mikey and Jimmy went outside and played on the swings in the backyard. Missy pushed me up so high, I started laughing and couldn’t stop. Finally, she slowed my swing down and I jumped off. “That was really fun. I said and smiled from ear to ear. Although I did feel a little sick from swinging right after eating such a big lunch.

“Oh wait, I forgot to show you, our room. You’re going to love it. Come on I’ll show you.”

We ran into the house and Missy ran down the hall past the bathroom and flung open the door to the bedroom. There were two beds in there. And she said, look we got new bedspreads. I picked them out. Why don’t you decide which bed you would like?”

“Really? Oh, I love this pink one with the flowers and the butterflies. Can I have this one?”

“Sure, I like either one. They are both pretty. Why don’t you try it out? See if it’s comfortable.?”

“I never had my own bedroom before. I usually slept on the couch because Mamma had company that stayed in her bedroom with her most of the time. The couch was kind of lumpy and smelly but it wasn’t too bad. I would have loved to have my own bedroom. I love the pink walls. How did you know I liked pink?”

“Oh, I didn’t know silly, it’s my favorite color too. Do you want to put your clothes away.? Oh, Mrs. Walker has them. Maybe she gave them to your mother they were in a brown paper bag.”

“Oh well, Mrs. Taylor probably put them in the wash. Sometimes the kids that come here don’t have any clothes then she takes them to the store and buys them all new clothes. When I first came here, I only had the clothes I had on. So, I got all new clothes and new sneakers. I never had new clothes before. I always got hand-me-downs. Mrs. Taylor is really nice.”

“How long have you lived here? Where are your mom and dad?”

“I’ve been here for two years. I don’t know who my dad is and my mother is in prison. Sometimes she writes me letters. But I haven’t heard from her in almost a year.”

“My mom told me she doesn’t love me and I was too much trouble and she didn’t want to take care of me anymore.”

Missy looked at Marty and a tear rolls down her face. “Sometimes adults say things they don’t mean. Maybe she was just in a bad mood.”

“She said it to me all the time. She never hugged me.”

Missy came over and gave Marty a hug. “Well, we’re sisters now and sisters love each other. We can make a promise that we will always take care of each other. Do you want to pinky swear?”

“Pinky swear? What does that mean?

Oh, we hold each other’s little fingers and we swear at the same time that we will always be sisters and take care of each other no matter what.”

“Yes, let’s pinky swear. I have always wanted a sister.”

“Ok, this is what we will swear: We will always look out for each other no matter what that we will always be best friends and sisters, no matter where we live or how old we are. Then Marty and Missy held onto each other little fingers and said the oath,” We will always be best friends and sisters, no matter where we live, or how old we are.

Just as we were finished our pinky swear Mrs. Walker called me, “Marty come over here for a few minutes so I can show you how to make a phone call. She told me a bunch of numbers and then pushed the numbers on the phone. “Here now you try it.”

I started to cry again. “What’s the matter, Marty?”

I don’t know my numbers yet, nobody taught me.”

“Oh, of course, you don’t. Why didn’t I think of that? I’ll go and talk to Mrs. Taylor and tell her that you are allowed to call me whenever you need to and I’ll ask her to start teaching you how to recognize and write numbers. How about until you are ready to do that on your own, I will call you every Monday morning at 8:30 before I go to the office?”

“OK. What do I say when you call me?”

“You just say hello, this is Marty. And then you tell me how you’re doing. OK?”

“Yes. OK.” And then I smiled. No one had ever called me and asked how I was doing before.

“Alright Marty, I’m leaving now. But if you have any problems, please let me know. But I think you are going to do wonderfully here. I’m going to go back to your apartment and get Stuey right now and bring him back in a little while. Is that alright with you?”

“Yes, thank you. I can’t wait to show Stuey my new room. I’ll see you in a little while.”

And Mrs. Walker came back that very afternoon with Stuey. And she kept all the promises that she ever made to me. I lived with my pinky sister and Mikey and Jimmy and Momma Taylor until I was old enough to go to college. Missy and I ended up going to the same college in Philadelphia at Temple University. We both decided that we wanted to be Social Workers and help other children to find homes when they were unable to live with their own families.

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NIGHT SHIFT

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It’s been six years since I started working the night shift. It’s hard to remember just why I thought it would be a good idea to work from Midnight to the eight AM shift. I vaguely remember thinking I would have more free time and the pay was slightly higher than working nine to five.

Callowhill Depot, Philadelphia, Pa.

What I failed to consider is that I would be sleeping during the day. And the impact that would have on my life. Things like maintaining friendships with people that worked during the day. Not to mention I hope to get married and have children at some point. I suppose that’s still a possibility if I fall in love with a man that also works nightshift. But if we both worked the night shift and slept eight hours during the day having children together really doesn’t seem feasible. I guess the solution is that I or my husband would have to start working during the day like normal people. Of course, that would limit how much time we spent together as well.

The fact of the matter is that before I was hired at SEPTA, the job I had was tedious and boring. I was selling high-risk auto insurance. On the other hand, the customers that came into the office were often downright scary. These people were basically maniacs on wheels. I was making minimum wage and was still living at home with my parents. Because I couldn’t afford to move out. I couldn’t afford to do anything. I had to pay my parent’s rent, pay for the upkeep of my beater car, and insurance and gas. Which left me with pocket change.

On the other hand, in my previous job there was no climbing up the corporate ladder. There was no ladder. I was working at Ellis Insurance Company. We sold high-risk auto insurance. It was owned by two brothers, Harry and Evie Ellis. And there were only three employees. You were stuck in the same job. There wasn’t any upward mobility The other two girls that I met working there were nice and we became friends over time. I decided I need to make a change in my life.

A friend of mine told me that SEPTA was hiring but it was on the night shift. And I thought why not? Sounds interesting. What harm could it do to apply for the job and see what shakes out? And sure, enough a week after I sent my resume out, I got a call from HR at SEPTA for a job in the dispatcher’s office on the night shift. Of course, it was a job on the bottom rung of the corporate ladder.

Now I’m working at the Callowhill depot in West Philadelphia in the office that schedules the busses, trolleys, and drivers. I have to say I like working there. It keeps me on my toes, having to maintain the vehicle’s maintenance and scheduling the bus and trolley drivers. And as far as friendships go well, you’re going to almost instantly bond with your workmates because they are in the same boat as you are working the night shift. Unfortunately, no love matches, but plenty of friends. The routine doesn’t vary much from day to day but I feel at this point I am highly competent and confident in my ability to successfully perform my job.

About six weeks ago I arrived at work at 11: 45 PM. Just in time for the second shift to clock out and go home. “Hello everyone, how did your day go?” Helen who works the second shift in my position, as a dispatcher said, “no problems during our shift, but two drivers called out for the third shift. I contacted two drivers and they agreed to fill in. You’ll see the information on the log. Well, its’ been a long day. I’ll see you guys tomorrow before I clock out. I hope all goes well for you guys. Take care,”

“Bye Helen, I hope you have a good night, see you tomorrow.” Helen is a hard worker and always takes the time to say hello and wish us well. I’d like to get to know her but we have different days off and she has a family with four kids. I don’t know how she does it.

Two of the other people that work on my shift, Kathy a single woman, no kids, lives with her elderly mother, and Henry, a tall, gangly man in his early sixties yells out, “good evening, everyone, I hope you sneaked in a few Z’s today. For some reason, I had this feeling all day that something is going to go wrong on our shift tonight. You know I always thought I was a little psychic. But, my wife says, I’m a little crazy. So, it’s probably nothing. Oh, here’s Gertie. She is just a bundle of energy and so thin she disappears when she turns sideways. But believe it or not, she is strong as a horse. She has been studying karate for years. And could probably take down a tank all on her own. But you would never know by looking at her. “Hi Gertie, how’s life treating you today?”

“Life is treating me just fine Henry. Anything new with you?”

“Well, I was just telling our friend here, that all day I kept thinking something bad was going to happen tonight, but I’m sure it’s nothing. Probably ate too much-fried chicken or something. But keep your eyes open anyway just in case.”

And then Kathy flew in the door. “Sorry to be late, but just at the last minute, I realize I left my purse and my lunch on the coffee table in my living room and I had to go back and get them. I hope that didn’t cause any problems.”

“No problems Kathy, sit down and take a deep breath and calm down, everything is fine so far.”

“What’s Henry talking about?”

“Oh nothing, you know Henry thinks he has some kind of psychic ability and can sense the future. It’s a bunch of bolognas if you ask me.”

The next hour is really busy as all the second shift drivers are returning with their busses and signing out and all the third shift drivers are clocking in. I wave at them as they walk by our office. Then I start checking the activity log to see if there are any problems that need to be addressed immediately. After that, I start checking tomorrow’s schedule to see if there are any conflicts or call-outs or buses that needed maintenance. The time really flies by. I check my watch and it’s already after 3 am. I decide to get a cup of coffee. Because right about this time every work night my energy starts to diminish. It’s always quiet in the depot this time of night. And we usually take turns taking breaks.

it’s Henry’s turn to take a break. He usually takes a walk around the depot and sometimes outside. But you really have to be careful in this neighborhood at night. You never know what’s going to happen. But it’s a beautiful night so who knows he might take a little late-night stroll.

Just when I was beginning to wonder what happen to Henry since he has been gone for about twenty-five minutes. Kathy, Gertie, and I hear a loud commotion out in the hall outside the depot office. I hear Gertie say,” what the hell is Henry doing out there anyway. Kathy responds,” I’ll go take a look maybe he slipped on the floor out there I noticed that it had just been waxed and was slippery when I came in. Some day one of us is going to break their necks.”

I go back to work and I hear Gertie quip, “oh yeah this place is a hotbed of activity like the morgue at three in the morning.”

Then I say, “Gertie, did anyone ever tell you have a weird sense of humor?”

“Weird no, not at all. I’m perfectly normal. And then she lets out a big guffaw. Her laugh is like a donkey neighing. “He haw, he haw, he haw.”

And then we hear shouting and something heavy falls to the floor. “What the hell, Gertie screams at the top of her apparently huge lungs. She scares me almost as much as what’s going on in the hallway. I whisper maybe we should call the police or the transit cops, somebody. Henry did say that he had a bad feeling about today, and he has always been right when he has his “psychic premonitions.”

“Oh, come on let’s all calm down,” I say.

“I’m going out to see if Henry is alright, one of you call the freaking police just in case.”

Kathy and I sit tight, and I decide maybe I should call the police, better safe than sorry. I’m about to pick up the phone when the doors to the depot office burst open and three huge guys that I’ve never seen before burst in with Henry and Gertie. Who are being dragged in kicking and screaming all the way. Their hands are tied behind them. Gertie’s eyes are practically bugging out of her head. Henry’s face is so red it looks like he might stroke out any minute. I hear a loud voice in my head keep repeating, why didn’t you call the police you idiot?

The biggest guy who looks like he could be a sumo wrestler yells, “you two go over next to the vault. Whoever knows the combination better open it up immediately or this old man is going to be breathing his last breath tonight and it will be your fault “

I start sweating like a pig. I’m afraid I’m going to pee my pants or pass out. I’ve never been so scared in my life. I walk towards the vault and starting keying in the combination. There is no way in hell I’m going to die because of money. Which can be replaced. No way. I open the huge door and then the Sumo wrestler says, “all of you get over there and don’t move and he points to the wall next to the safe. “My friend here is going to hold his gun at this guy here and if any of you try anything, anything at all I’m going to put a bullet in his head. Do you understand? We nod.

The youngest-looking robber goes into the vault with a large canvas bag and then we hear a whole lot of rustling coming from it. It is clear he is taking all the money that was put in there during the day shifts. Then he comes out dragging the heavy satchel. “OK, get rid of these jokers, and let’s go before the police show up the alarm must have gone off when we broke it.”

And that’s when they grabbed the rest of us and gagged us and tied our hands behind our backs and literally threw us in the big safe. I started hyperventilating immediately because I have a fear of small spaces. I think at some point I passed out because the next thing I knew there was a burly Philly cop standing over me and shaking me. “Hey wake up, you’re alright, wake up for god’s sake.” And then he slapped me across my face and I said, ok, ok stop hitting me. He just laughed.

When they took off Henry’s gag he immediately said, “I told you something bad was going to happen tonight.”

And that is when I said, “shut up Henry.” And I decided it was time for me to stop working on the night shift.

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Rose Colored Glasses

DOG EARRED BOOKS

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I live in Raleigh, North Carolina in a small townhouse community mostly populated by senior citizens. I started a book club in my little community. And we spend a great deal of our time visiting all the book shops in the area. If we go to a bookshop more than an hour away, we hire a driver to take us in the Community van to drive us back and forth. So, that we can spend the time discussing the latest books we have been reading.

Dog Earred Books

I have to admit that I’ve always been a big reader. For years and years, I read nothing but horror. I have always been drawn to the dark side. I read Lovecraft when I was a teenager. And then went on to read Anne Rice, Stephen King, and Dean Koontz. And I almost forgot to mention Edgar Allen Poe. Oh yes, Edgar Allen Poe and the Tell-Tale Heart. Reading that poem kept me awake for nights on end. The cold-blooded murder of an old man simply because he had a pale blue eye with cataracts gave the wood-be murderer the creeps and reason to kill a sleeping old man.

I too have a vivid imagination. No one that looks at me would ever imagine the things that go on in my mind and my imagination. If I ever brought my thought and nightmares out in the open you would all run from me in terror.

Oh, don’t mind me I just let my imagination run away from me again. I had some spare time while I was waiting for the van to come to pick up me, and my fellow seniors to take a short trip to visit the Dog-Eared Book Store. I have to say that used book stores are the best. You never know what treasures you’ll find. This bookstore sits in a warehouse area. If you didn’t know it was there you would never find it.

Although it was a relatively short ride to the book store we had a lively discussion about horror writers. I brought up Lovecraft. And can you believe it two of our most recent book club members had never read him? In my opinion, The Call of Cthulhu was his best book and the most influential work. The story centers on an ancient dragon that lived in the sea that somehow implants itself into the sub-conscience of human minds and slowly causes them to go insane.

I couldn’t impress upon them the importance of this work by Lovecraft. He didn’t know it at the time but he was creating a whole new writing genre. I was about to explain the importance of this new genre when the van driver said, “Ok everyone we will be staying there no longer than an hour and a half. Please keep that in mind. You have a reservation for lunch at a nearby restaurant and you don’t want to miss that. Meet you here in an hour and a half. Did everyone hear that? Ok, see you then.”

I have a tendency to become somewhat verbose and pedantic when I start discussing horror writers. And I heard more than one person sigh with relief when the driver made the announcement that we had arrived at our destination.”

As we entered the door to the book shop, I couldn’t help but take a deep breath. There isn’t a smell that I enjoy more than the smell of old books. It is intoxicating to say the least. As I walk by the proprietor I say, “hello Stanley, do you have any new books set aside for me?”

“Well, as a matter of fact, I do. I have to get them from the back. When you check out, I’ll show them to you. Have fun until then, Merrill.”

“Really, that’s awesome Stanley. I look forward to reading them. This is turning out to be such a great morning. See you in a little while, Henry.”

And off I went to peruse the stacks. Nothing is more exciting to me than searching through aisle after aisle of books, whether it is in a book store or a library. It’s my idea of heaven. So off I went to look in the horror and science fiction section. As I was flipping through a book, I overhear someone on the next aisle over talking about his plans for the weekend coming up. I wasn’t intentionally listening but I couldn’t help but hear them since they were speaking loudly.

I was about to shush them when I heard one of them say, “and then I’m going to hit her over the head and tie her up and take her to the cabin in the woods. And that will be the last of that bitch. No one will ever hear from her again. And then the other person said,” keep it down everyone is going to hear you.”

I try to peak through the stacks of books to see whose speaking, but at that moment they start moving down the aisle to the back of the store and I can’t see who they are. I can’t say I recognize their voices at all. Maybe they weren’t with my group. Good grief, what should I do? Ignore it, pretend I didn’t hear a thing? Tell the bookstore manager, or maybe I should call the police?

I tried to calm down, my heart was pounding a mile a minute. I was afraid I was going to pass out or maybe throw up. I don’t know which is worse. And then I heard the first guy who spoke says,” so can you help me out here. I don’t think I can work it out by myself? I understand if you don’t want any part of it. But if you could possibly find a way you could. It would be a lifesaver.”

And then I hear the other guy answer. “Well, the way I see it you don’t have any real choice. You have to get rid of that character. She’s really become an issue. Best to be rid of her and you can start over. That’s my advice. I’ll talk to you a little later. I have my own issue to take care of before we head back home. I’ll talk to you in the van.”

“What? Oh sure, no problem. I’ll consider your advice. Meanwhile, I’ll keep looking around and see if anything calls out to me. I’m almost out of books to read.”

“Really, well I hope a solution comes to you. Sometimes it helps if you bounce ideas off of someone who’s not emotionally involved with the problem.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I’ll give it some thought. But what I know for sure is, I can’t live with this for much longer. I have to deal with her one way or another.”

Merrill feels like she’s losing her marbles. Maybe she’s imagining the whole thing. She goes back to perusing the aisles. But the words she overheard keep coming back in her head, “and then I’m going to hit her over the head and tie her up and take her to the cabin in the woods. And that will be the last of that bitch. No one will ever hear from her again. And the other person says,” keep it down everyone is going to hear you.”

She just can’t ignore what she heard or pretend she didn’t hear it. Some woman’s life is at risk. She has to do something and better sooner than later.

Merrill decides to go outside for a few minutes to clear her head. And try to make some sense out of everything that just happened. She now knows that the two people she overheard are a part of her reading group. She knows that one of them is intent on murdering some woman that they despise. She considers her options aside from calling the police. And finally, she decides that she’s going to stick to these two would-be killers and try to talk some sense into them. If they are unwilling to listen, she will threaten to call the police, the FBI, and the CIA if necessary. Whatever it takes.

The next hour seems like it would never pass. She kept following the two killers and making sure that they stayed in the bookstore the whole time and didn’t wander off somewhere. Maybe the woman that the assassin wanted to eliminate was in their reading group. Merrill couldn’t bear the thought that they want to kill any of her lady friends. The more she thought about it the angrier she became. She kept having the obsessive thought, “if they try to harm a hair on one of my friend’s I will hit them over the head with a hot frying pan one of those old cast iron ones that her mother used to have. That would put a real kibosh on their blood-thirsty plans. She tried to stop thinking that thought, but she couldn’t stop it.

Finally, it was time to leave and Merrill went up to the front of the store and asks Stanley the store manager/owner to make the announcement that it is time to check out. That the van would be leaving in fifteen minutes. Stanley says, “Merrill do you still want to get those books I told you about earlier?”

“Oh no, I mean yes, here’s my credit card. After I get everyone rounded up to check out I’ll pick the books up and retrieve my credit card. I look forward to seeing you again soon, take care.”

“Oh sure of course, Merrill, see you soon.” Stanley watches as Merrill walks around the store tapping each person on their right shoulder and telling them it’s time to leave. Stanley could hear a sigh after he tapped each bibliophile on the shoulder. Stanley really loved his customers. They all shared his obsession with books. Stanley was one of the most content people on the planet. He couldn’t imagine doing anything else for a living. Stanley started ringing up Merrill’s purchases and putting them in a bag with her receipt. He put her credit card to the side of the cash register. Where no one could see it except him and he wouldn’t forget to return it to her.

After Merrill reminded everyone that they only had fifteen minutes to gather all their books and check out she walked to the front of the store and was about to leave when Stanley called out to her,” Merrill, don’t forget your books and credit card.”

“Oh, sorry Stanley, I don’t know where my head is today. I’m going to be waiting outside in the van. I’ll be looking forward to reading these books. No doubt that you have chosen books that I will enjoy reading. You know me so well. See you next time. Take care.”

Stanley stared at Merrill as she walked out the door and stepped into the van. And he thought she was acting really weird today. But then the first customer came up to the counter with a stack of books and Stanley soon forgot about Merrill.

Merrill waited in the first seat behind the van driver’s seat she wanted to see where the murderer was going to sit. Not to mention his accomplice who seemed as if murdering some hapless woman like a fine solution to an annoying woman. Merrill was going to sit behind this evil duo. She just couldn’t believe this was happening. She could hardly sit still. About two minutes everyone started making their way to the van and filing in one by one. The assassins were about to step into the van. Merrill’s heart was beating a million miles an hour. She started to feel light-headed. She really had no plan other than listening to what they said and confronting them. Sweat began to pour down her face and armpits. She opens the window and breathes in some fresh air.

The two walks by Merrill and she got up and followed them and after they sat down, she sat directly behind them. And Merrill sat up in her seat as straight as she could and turned her head in their direction and began to listen intently. At first, they seem to be discussing the books they had just purchased, and then as soon as everyone was seated in the van the driver said, “ok, people onward and upward to The Chinese Buffet for lunch.”

Everyone cheered because who doesn’t love a Chinese Buffet, all you can eat restaurant. After a few minutes, they quieted down and talked quietly or stared out the window as they made their way to the restaurant. The two accomplices were chatting away as if rubbing someone out was an everyday event. The heavyset murderer said, so I think I’ll do it tonight, the sooner the better. What’s the point in waiting any longer? It will be a lot of work, but it has to be done.”

And the tall skinny accomplice says” you’re right, don’t be afraid to eliminate her, you know you’ll be relieved when it is all over.”

And it was at that moment that Merrill realizes that she has heard enough, she can’t sit still and listen to these two nightmares of human beings discuss killing some poor woman just because they don’t like her for some reason.

Merrill jumps up out of her seat and yells at the top of her voice,” what the bloody hell do you two think you are up to? I know what you are planning. You are going to murder some poor woman that you think is in your way. I’m calling the police and they are going to drag your sorry asses to the slammer and throw away the key.”

Everyone in the van including the “would-be murderers” look around to see who Merrill is yelling out. And they see she is pointing at the Smith Brothers. The Smith brothers turn around and look at Merrill like she has lost her mind. “Are you talking to us?”

“Yes, of course, I’m talking to you, I heard what you said in the bookstore that you are going to eliminate some woman that woman over the head, and take her to the woods and that would be the last that anyone would ever see that bitch again.:

Everyone in the van was staring at Merrill with eyes and mouths wide open. And then the Smith Brothers started laughing so hard they couldn’t catch their breath.

Merrill shook her head in amazement. And started yelling again, “what the hell is so fricking funny. I’m going to call the cops right now?”

And she was about to do just that when the fat Smith brother said, “I’m not going to murder anyone.”

“Yes, yes, you are. I heard you with my own two ears. Don’t try to squirm out of it.”

“I’m not squirming out of anything. I’m attempting to write my first book. I’ve been an avid reader all my life and I decided that now is my opportunity to try my hand at writing. I had decided to get rid of one of the characters in my book because she wasn’t working out. That’s all. The end. Happy now Merrill?”

Merrill plopped down in her seat with her mouth hanging open. And sat for a moment or two and then said, “I guess I let my imagination run wild. I don’t know what else I can say except I would like to be the first one in line to buy your book. And then everyone started laughing and Merrill looked around and thought the only thing she could do after making a complete ass out of herself just joins in the laughing and that is what she did.

At lunchtime at the buffet that is all anyone could talk about and some of them even acted out the whole scene. And they would all start laughing again, including Merrill.

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THE LAUGHING GOAT

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Nubian Goat

The day I have been looking forward to for the past year has finally arrived. I have literally counted the days I had left to work for the past year.

When I arrived at work, I punched in my security code at the employee entrance. I did a little jig as I walked through the door. My boss happened to be walking past the entrance at the same moment, and she gave me a thumbs up and walks over and shook my hand.

“Congratulations, Marion, you will be missed, but you deserve to have a wonderful retirement. I doubt that we will ever find anyone who can replace you. Your dedication to excellence in every project you worked on and your ability to inspire others to do the same.”

“Thank you, Constance. I have enjoyed working here. But I’m more than ready for a new chapter in my life and new challenges.”

“I have no doubt that you will succeed in whatever you choose to do. What exactly are you going to be doing?”

“Well, I’ve sold my apartment here in Philly, and I bought a small farm out in the country. I’m going to be growing organic vegetables and raising goats and making goat cheese and goat milk.”

“What? you’re kidding?

“Kidding? No, I’m not kidding. That’s exactly what I’m going to be doing. I have been investigating and reading about organic farming and animal husbandry for years.”

“Really, I had no idea. You are constantly surprising me, Marion. I have no doubt that you will be highly successful. I would love to come out and see your farm once you are settled in.”

“Really? Well, sure, as soon as I get everything in order and I have my farm up and running. I’ll let you know. I’ll be leaving on Wednesday. The people that bought my apartment will be moving in Thursday morning. And the family that I bought my farm from has already moved out. It’s a beautiful area outside Philadelphia in Delaware County, or Delco as the locals call it. I purchased all the farming equipment, and my goats will be arriving by the end of the week. I’m starting with six goats at first, and eventually, I will have twenty in my flock, or some people call it a toop.”

“Well, Marion, I’m impressed. Good luck, and let us all know how you’re doing.”

“I will. Thanks, Constance. Sorry if I bent your ear. I know I have the tendency to be long-winded. I have enjoyed working under you. You are an excellent supervisor. I’ve learned a great deal about organization from you. That will no doubt benefit me in my new career.” Marion and Constance shake hands and depart. Marion headed toward the break room to get a cup of coffee.

When she walked in, she was surprised by all her workmates yelling, “Congratulations, Marion and giving her a round of applause. Marion was so flabbergasted that she almost fell over. Her office mate and friend, Katie, ran over and gave her a big hug. And then everyone came over and shook her hand or patted her on the back.

“Wow, I’m shocked I had no idea you were going to do this. Thank you all so much. I’m overwhelmed. And Marion starts to go walk over to the coffee machine, and she realizes there is a huge cake with green icing and a barn on it with a fence in an area where little goats are grazing on the green icing. “Oh my god, this is amazing. Did you do this, Katie?”

“Well, I ordered the cake, but we all helped decorate the room, and if you look to the left, you’ll see a pile of gifts for you and your new life out in the sticks.” But I do have to admit I had trouble finding the little barn and fence and goats to decorate the cake. I finally found them online. They are toys for little kids. I knew you would like it.”

“Like it? I absolutely love it.” And she gives Katie a big hug. This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

“Well, you deserve it, Marion. You are the one that has trained most of us in our current positions. And you have always been there for us and helped solve any technical issues we had. Why don’t you sit down and open your gifts?”

Marion walked over to the pile of gifts and started opening them. Some of them were envelopes. She opened them first, and they were all cards and gift certificates to The Tractor Store. “Thank you, guys. I know these gift certificates will come in handy.”

The second gift she opened held two pairs of denim overalls. When Marion opened these, she started laughing. “Won’t I be the bell of the ball in these lovely overalls?”

Everyone started laughing because Marion had previously been known for her hip dress attire with never a hair out of place. It was hard to imagine her living on a farm in rural Pennsylvania living on a farm and raising goats. It was impossible to imagine her milking goats and making Feta cheese.

The last box she opens is huge, and Marion can’t imagine what the package holds. She picks up the box, and it’s as light as a feather. She opens it up and finds a cashier’s check from the company president for $10,000. Marion is amazed. She holds up the check for everyone to see. And her friend, Howard, who is the Chief Financial Officer, shouts out, “and you deserve every penny of it. You have brought so many new accounts into our company over the years. I know you will be a success in your new enterprise.”

Marion has tears running down her face and can’t speak for several minutes and then finally says, “well, let’s get down to business and cut this cake. And everyone starts laughing and comes up and shakes Marion’s hand and wishes her all the luck in the world.”

“Thank you, everyone. I want everyone to know that you are welcome to come and visit at any time once I get myself moved in and everything under control. I will definitely send you all invitations to my open house. I’ll miss you all.” And then tears start running down her cheeks. And she doesn’t wipe them away. She has no regrets, although she will miss these people with all her heart. They are like family to her.

After everyone enjoys some cake and coffee, they start heading back to their respective offices to start their day. Marion goes back to her office to finish closing up some of her files. And then handing them off to the people who will be taking them over. She can’t believe how quickly thirty years flew by. The only time she believes it is when she looks in the mirror and sees a face that is no longer young but still full of life. She is so looking forward to her new life. As she has always looked forward to a new challenge. She has never failed before and trusts that she will succeed in her new endeavor.

At the end of the day, she stops by her closest friend and workmate’s desks and shakes her hand. Katie hugs her again and says,” You better call me as soon as you get settled in so I can come to see your new home and meet your goats. You know, I don’t think I’ve ever said that to anyone before. And she smiles and laughs and then starts crying. I’ll miss you so, but I know you will be happy in your new life, goats and all.

As Marion heads back to her apartment, she feels equal amounts of happiness and sadness but no regrets at all about her decision to retire. She is looking forward to her new life at the Laughing Goat. That is what she decided to call her farm. Because goats always seem to be laughing when they neigh or bleat. And recently, Marion found out that goats from different areas have different accents. And that young goats bleat differently when they are bleating at other “kid” goats. Humans always think that they are superior to those creatures in the animal world, but the fact is we are not as superior as we seem to think we are.

Marion pulls into the driveway of her apartment complex and into her parking spot. She has lived in this apartment for the better part of her life. She has been happy here. She knows many of the tenants. She will miss them as she will miss her workmates. Marion has always accepted the fact that every time you gain something, you lose something at the same time.

Marion gets out of her car and locks it, opens up her trunk to get out all the packages, and then decides against it. After all, she will be moving tomorrow, so there’s no point in taking it out of the car. Tomorrow morning, she will rearrange things in her car so she can fit her personal belongings like her computer and a change of clothes. And a set of sheets and towels to use at her new home tomorrow. The movers were here today and took the bulk of her belongings and furniture to the farm. She had told them to leave the air mattress in her bedroom along with her change of clothes and her computer.

Today had been an especially emotional day, and she needed to calm herself down and decompress. She hoped she would be able to go to sleep. Sometimes when she got overwrought, she couldn’t fall asleep at all. She decided to take a hot bath, drink a cold beer, and hit the air mattress. And she did just that, and when she finally did flop down on the air mattress, she fell asleep as soon as she closed her bloodshot eyes.

The next morning, she woke up at 7:30 with a start. She let the air out of her mattress. And she took a quick shower and got dressed, ran a brush through her curly grey hair, and started taking her few remaining belongings to her car. She managed to fit everything in by some miracle. She put her purse and computer in the passenger seat and took one last look at what had been her home for almost twenty years. She felt equal amounts of nostalgia and excitement.

She pulled out of the driveway of the complex and headed toward the highway and her new home and new life. At the last moment, before she got on the highway, she decided to pull into a fast-food restaurant to get a large coffee. And then she was on her way to beautiful Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. It was about an hour and a half drive.

And before she knew it, she was pulling into the gravel driveway of her new home. It was a beautiful Spring Day, and the sun was shining. It was breathtaking how beautiful this part of the country is. Marion can hardly believe she’s made this all happen. She pulls up to the house, and she sees the moving company arrived. And they are in the process of unloading the furniture and bringing it into her new home. It’s a typical house built in the late 1950s, but it has been beautifully maintained. There are red and yellow tulips blooming all around the front porch.

Marion steps out of her car and stretches, and takes a deep breath of the country air. It’s wonderful. She walks up to the steps on the front porch and into her new home. She peeks in the door and waves at the movers, and says, “hello, I’m Marion Wilkes. Thank you for arriving on time. Let me know if you need anything. I’m going to be checking out the house. I won’t be far.

Marion had hired painters to come in and paint the interior of the house last week before the movers arrived. It looks just as she hoped it would, bright and welcoming. She decides to go upstairs to her bedroom and see how it looks. It was supposed to be painted periwinkle blue. One of her favorite colors. As she walks into the bedroom, she notices that all of her bedroom furniture is in place, and she immediately starts to feel at home.

She says out loud, “Oh, it’s just as I imagined it would look.” She knows it will only look better once she gets her art up on the walls. Just then, she hears one of the movers call up to her, “can you come down here for a few minutes and make sure we are putting everything in the right place?”

“Yes, I’ll be right there after I make a trip to the ladies’ room.”

When she came downstairs, the movers were bringing in the living room couch and recliner. Marion walked over to the place where she wanted the couch and said, “right here is perfect. Also, I would like the coffee table in front of the couch here. And the side table to the left of the couch. I take care of the small things like the lamps if you can just bring them in and put them over there by the back wall.

An hour and a half later, everything was in the house and in place except for the paintings and photographs and wall mirrors. She hasn’t decided where she wants yet. She would have to live with it for a while until she decided. The movers were just bringing in the last items. She said, “thank you so much. You all did a great job. She handed the young man closest to her a tip. “This is for all of you, be careful on your way home. They turned and walked out the front door. Marion watched as they drove away.

Marion spent the next hour putting dry goods in the kitchen and then made a list of food she would need to buy tomorrow. She knows she’s too tired to go food shopping today. Tomorrow she is going to be extremely busy getting the small barn ready for the goats and making sure all the post and rail fences are secure. Sometime tomorrow afternoon, she expects her goats to be delivered. She hired a local carpenter to come out and double-check her fences before the goats arrived. Which was late tomorrow afternoon.

The rest of the day and into the early evening, Marion did her best to get her personal belongings into her clothes closet and dresser drawers. And right before she was about to call it a day. She put all her bathroom essentials into the medicine cabinet in her personal bathroom and the half-bath downstairs. She couldn’t believe how much she had accomplished in one day. She decides to watch a movie on the internet, and then she realizes that she forgot to have an internet connection. Thank goodness she at least had the water and electricity connected. Marion took a long hot bath and then fell into bed without eating any dinner. She was too tired to even think about making anything to eat.

She woke up when her stomach started growling. It was six o’clock in the morning, and the sun was just beginning to rise. It was another beautiful day. So, she made some instant coffee and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and sits on the porch until the sun was high in the sky. She thought about her goats that would arrive before the end of the day. And the thought alone made her smile.

Her immediate plan was to purchase Junior Does, that are already pregnant. And they would arrive late this afternoon. And in that way, she would only have to wait five months to start collecting the milk. Unfortunately, she had to pay a breeding fee. Meanwhile, Marion would be setting up her barn to start making cheese a lot sooner. It wasn’t really about money. It was Marion’s desire to start her new life as soon as possible. She had been planning this for a long time.

After Marion had dressed, she made up a list of the things she needed to buy. She had the hay delivered to the barn a couple of days ago. And, of course, the goats would be out in the field most of the day eating. She filled up the troth with fresh water and then set her GPS up to direct her to the nearest food store.

And she was on her way. When she arrived at her destination, she didn’t find a big box food store. She found a Mom and Pop grocery. And although it was charming in its own way, she was certain that she wouldn’t find all the things on her list. She parked her car and locked it out of habit and walked up to the door, and walked through.

She heard the jingle-jangle of a bell at the top of the door. It was reminiscent of her childhood when her mother used to send her to the corner store. She halfway expected Mr. Fuelle to be standing at the counter. He owns the little Mom and Pop store in the little town she grew up in. But of course, it wasn’t him. He died fifty years ago.

There was a cheerful, middle-aged woman with bright, red, frizzy hair at the counter. “Let me know if there is anything you can’t find. I’ll be glad to help you. I’m the proprietor here.”

“Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind. I just moved to the old Sutter place yesterday.” Marion grabbed a cart and started walking up and down the aisles. She was pleasantly surprised by how well-stocked it was for such a small store. It looked like she could get almost everything she needed here.

When she got up to the counter, she realized that the counter was a glass case with candy in it. In fact, it looked like all the candy she used to eat as a kid, including red hot dollars, candy cigarettes, and her favorite black licorice. “Wow, I’m impressed with your store. I’m so glad I came here.”

“Well, we’re small, but I pride myself on keeping my customers happy. If there is anything that you want and it’s not here, and you will want to buy it often, let me know, and I will get it for you, even specialty items. By the way, my name is Thelma Rice.”

“Hello Thelma, my name is Marion. It’s a pleasure to meet you. And you can be assured I will be a return customer. How much do I owe you?”

“That will be forty dollars and forty-nine cents.”

“Really? Thanks so much. I look forward to visiting you again soon, Thelma.”

“Well, Marion, I’m happy to hear that. On your way out, look at the bulletin board, and you’ll see a list of all the local tradespeople and any activities that are taking place in the local area. Feel free to take a copy. See you soon.”

On her way out the door, Marion did grab one of the calendars. She looks forward to reading it over her next meal. Her spirits were lifted by her visit to the store and meeting Thelma. She hoped everyone in the area would be as cheerful and helpful.

She saw a gas station across the road and decided to stop and get her car filled up. She didn’t know how many gas stations were in the immediate area. When she pulled up to the gas pump. It wasn’t a self-serve, so she waited for someone to come outside and wait on her. In about two minutes, a young man with red hair came over and said, “Can I help you?”

“Yes, thank you. Could you fill it up and check the oil?”

“Sure, can, Mam.”

“Oh, I just moved to the area. I’m sure you’re going to see me often. So please call me Marion.”

“Sure, Mam, I will. I mean Marion.”

Marion laughs and says, “do you take credit or debit cards?”

“Yes, Mam, I mean Marion. We take both.”
“Here you go, by the way. What’s your name? Did you know you have the exact shade of red hair as the Thelma Rice across the street at the food store?”

“Yes, mam, I mean Marion. That’s because she’s my mother.”

He handed her the card back and said, “have a great day.”

“I’m sorry I forgot to ask your name.”

“Oh, my name is Frank. But most people call me Red.”

“Alright, Red, I’ll see you next time I need a fill-up. I hope you have a wonderful day.

As Marion made her way home, she couldn’t help but notice the beautiful scenery along the way home. It was unspoiled. There wasn’t any trash on the roadside, or anywhere she saw so far. It was just pristine. It looked like it had remained as it must have looked fifty years ago. Her heartfelt light, and there was a big smile on her face.

On the way home, she kept singing, today my goats are coming, today my goats are coming. As if it was a song. And then she looked at the clock on the dashboard and was immediately concerned that the goats might already have arrived and she was going to be late. Her heart started beating faster. It was only 9:45, and she had plenty of time. She needed to calm down.

She arrived at her street and turned left, and drove up to her driveway up to the garage. And jumped out of the car and started quickly bringing the groceries into the house. She had to remind herself again to slow down and calm down. She really couldn’t remember any time in the past when she got herself this wound up. She tried taking deep, cleansing breaths. That seemed to help until she kept doing it, and she started to feel light-headed. “Good grief, what is wrong with me?”

And then the phone rang. “Hello, is this Marion?”

“Yes, who’s calling, please?”

“This is Chester. I’m bringing six goats to you. We are about fifteen minutes from your house. We made good time. Will you be at home?”

“Yes, it so happens I will be. You weren’t supposed to arrive until after lunch.”

“I know, as I said, we made good time. See you in about fifteen minutes.” And then he hung up abruptly.

Marion began hyperventilating. She plopped down on the ground and slowed her breathing. In a few minutes, she regained control of herself. She decided to get a glass of cold water and sit on the porch until they arrived. By the time they arrived, she was more like her usual self, in control of her emotions. And then, the truck arrived and parked next to the fenced-in pasture. Marion got up and walked over to the pasture and up to the truck cab.

“Marion?”

“Yes, of course. And you must be Chester. So how do you go about getting six goats into the pasture without them running away?”

“We’ll get the goats into the fenced-in area. But I’ll tell you right now, and there ain’t no way you’ll get them to stay in there. If they want to get out, they will. As long as they have some decent food and fresh water, they’ll stay. But then again, you just never know. They might just jump over the fence or even get out under the fence. But ready or not, here they come.”

Chester and another lanky guy who looked about sixteen herded the goats inside the corral. There you go, mam, good luck. These are some nice goats. Take care of them. You know they are all pregnant, right?”

“Of course, I’m going to make goat cheese from their milk. As soon as the babies can be weaned. “

“Really? Did you ever do this before?”

“Well, no, but I’ve been studying and learning about it for a couple of years. I’m sure it will all work out fine.”

“If you say so, Mam, make sure they have plenty of fresh hay and grass otherwise, they’ll start eating the bark off of them trees over there. And give them plenty of fresh water. Hear? Take care, Mam, and good luck. As they were walking away, the two men were laughing.”

Marion stood next to the fence and watched as her goats ran all over the field for about fifteen or twenty minutes, had a drink of water, and then started eating. None of them looked her way. Marion knew this would all take time, but she was not a quitter. She stood and watch her goats. And they were just beautiful. In her head, she started naming them. Beatrice, Agnes, Cindy, Maddy, Josephine, and Marie after her mother.

The goats seemed content in the field, and it didn’t look like they had any plan to jump the fence and escape. So, Marion decided to go into the house and put some jeans and a tee shirt on. And then come outside and try to get acquainted with her goats. Ten minutes later, Marion came out, and she saw all six of her goats wandering down the long driveway outside the pasture towards the country road. And then is when Marion realized her new life as a goat herder was about to begin. She took a deep breath and tried to catch up with her lady goats.

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DREAMS DO COME TRUE

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Unfortunately, I’m late leaving work once again. The pressure at work is almost unbearable. I feel like I’m in a pressure cooker. My wife, Cecily is going to be extremely angry at me because once again I missed dinner with my family and I didn’t call her.

What can I say? Half the time while I’m at work I don’t know what time it is. I’m on my phone contacting possible new clients or trying to sell new products to our present clients. It’s a dog-eat-dog world here at Capehart Scatchard. If you don’t produce, you are out the door.

This morning while I was shaving, I looked in the mirror and I thought what the hell happened? I have lines on my face and my hair has turned completely white and my hairline has receded in the past ten years. And I’m only thirty-seven years old.

I haven’t seen my kids in over two weeks, not at dinner and not before they went to bed. I work almost every weekend. It doesn’t help that my wife, Carolyn’s favorite hobby is shopping. She never seems to have enough of anything. Her clothes closet is full, most of the clothes still have their high-end price tags on them. They have never been out of the closet since she purchased them. The price tags represent the who’s who of designer clothing from Hermes to Gucci. Not to mention she is having our five-thousand-foot home redecorated for the fifth time in the last ten years. And just six months ago she went out and purchase an Aston Martin DBX. She assured me that it is the safest family car. It cost $76,000.

I wake up before the alarm goes off. My mind is working a hundred miles an hour. Sometimes I feel like my head is going to explode at any moment. I had a check-up by the corporate physician because I start having migraines in the middle of the day. My head would feel like a pressure cooker, my eyes became super sensitive to light. To tell you the truth I feel like I’m at the end of my rope. Something’s going to blow, I just can’t go on like this.

And then yesterday, right after I had a meeting with my new client a Charles Niedermeyer, I had an idea that might be the answer to all my problems. Niedermeyer is the brains behind a new product that is going to change the transfer of data as we know it. It is lo, T. The internet of things, or IoT, is a system of interconnected computing devices, with the ability to transfer data over a network without requiring human-to-human or human-to-computer interaction. The lo T was developed during the pandemic when people were avoiding physical contact with one another.

Now I’m no computer expert and a lot of the information that Niedermeyer bombarded me with was way, way over my head. But even I could see the potential here. But if this new technology can transfer data in a blink of an eye, it seems to me it could transfer many things including funds from one corporate bank account to a new non-traceable account that is not in an actual brick and mortar bank or investment portfolio. And the more I thought about it the more I thought it had real possibilities.

And over the next month, I started planning my escape from my corporate prison to a new life, with a new identity. I would no longer be owned by anyone, not my wife’s bank account and not my boss’s lackey. At first, it was just a kind of daydream when I had a few minutes to myself, over a morning coffee, or at my desk when I ate my lunch while I fielded emails, texts, and phone calls.

But the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to do it. Sometimes I just said to myself, “oh, it’s just a pipe dream, that’s all. I’ll never do it.” But as time went on, I began to hang on to the fantasy of escape like a drowning man to a life preserver. I wake up in the morning thinking about it, in a cold sweat. I dream about it at night if I was finally able to drift off to sleep.

In the middle of a corporate meeting, I find my mind drifting off and thinking about my escape to the Gulf of Panama. There is a trio of undeveloped islands with fifty beaches, more than 19 miles of coastline. But what I have always wanted to do was help preserve at-risk animals and sea life and preserve the last places on earth that haven’t been completely destroyed by humans and pollution. The biodiversity is equal to the Galapagos. Hundreds of birds and plants species and sea turtle-nesting exist there.

This is what I had dreamed about doing when I was young and before I went to college. But then I met my future wife and she came from an extremely wealthy family. She was absolutely stunningly beautiful. I fell hard for her. My family was working class so I knew I would have to achieve success on a grand scale to win her over. And I knew that once I set my sights on something I wouldn’t stop until I succeeded. And so, I changed my goals to finding a career that would bring me wealth and all the things that Cecily grew up with and what she would expect from her future husband. I just didn’t realize how much I would have to give up on myself for her.

And now here I am at what I feel is the crossroad of my whole life. Perhaps it is my last chance to live a life where I can feel I’m doing something that will make a difference in the world. And not just make money but make a difference. I know it is completely selfish of me to leave my wife and my children behind but I will make sure that they will always have the means and the money to go on living the way Cecily wants to. I guess I’m rationalizing away the guilt of abandoning my children. But I’m a stranger to them now as I’m never home and all I do is work, work, work.

Monday morning, I text Mr. Niedermeyer and ask if I could have a private meeting with him and he suggests I come to his private offices at 2:30 that day as he is leaving on an extended business trip at the end of the day.

I will have to keep my plans close to my vest so to speak, Niedermeyer is no ingénue. And I’m sure he has experience with people trying to conn him and that is why I’m going to tell him the truth, nothing but the truth.

I spend the rest of the morning and afternoon planning my ultimate escape. I have tied up all the business ends. And made sure that my wife and children are well taken care of financially. I feel like my life is about to take a turn for the better and my wife will no doubt find someone else in no time at all. And my children will be fine as they rarely see me now. So, it’s all good.

So, I arrive at 2:30 sharp at Mr. Niedermeyer’s office. I’m greeted by his assistant at the door. “Hello, I’m Jeffrey Golden, I have an appointment to speak to Mr. Niedermeyer at 2:30.”

“Of course, Mr. Golden Mr. Niedermeyer is in his private office. Please give me a few moments to inform him that you have arrived he is just finishing up some business. Please have a seat and it will only be a few minutes.”

“Thank you.” It wasn’t until that very moment that I noticed how unbelievably beautiful she was. In fact, she was one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. Of course, my wife was beautiful as well. Unfortunately, it turned out that her beauty was only a façade for a spoiled young woman who was never satisfied.

As I sat waiting for Mr. Niedermeyer’s assistant to let me know that I could go into Mr. Niedermeyer’s office I reviewed what I was going to say to him and hopefully persuade him to underwrite my plan. In a few moments, the assistant said, “you can go in now Mr. Golden, Mr. Niedermeyer can see you now.”

My heartbeat was a little faster and I felt my face flush. I stopped for a moment outside his door and took several deep breaths. “I open the door and walk in and I’m confronted by the largest office I have ever entered. It is absolutely stunning. The furniture looks one of a kind. The walls are a background for what looks like highly expensive paintings. In fact, although I’m not an art connoisseur I do recognize that one of the paintings is a Monet. “Good morning, thank you for taking the time to see me.”

“Well, I have to say I’m intrigued by your vague description of the reason you wanted to speak to me. So, why not begin I only have about a half-hour before I have to leave for the airport, I’m having a meeting with former World Bank chief scientist and now the British government’s scientific adviser on climate change, Bob Watson.”

“Really that is somewhat of a coincidence because I came here to have a conversation with you about my interest in saving our planet and the environment. In particular, there is in the Gulf of Panama three undeveloped islands with fifty beaches. There is almost twenty miles of coastline The biodiversity is equal to that of the Galapagos. There are hundreds of bird and plant species and sea turtle-nesting grounds—and they’re for sale. I have been investing in one of these islands for the past fifteen years. I have invested some of my clients, money in this project as well. Those clients who are interested in saving our planet and not just in increasing their bank accounts.

Before I had my original meeting with you, I found that you too have similar concerns and wanted to invite you to join with my group of investors in this project and perhaps in similar projects in the future?”

“Mr. Golden I am more than aware of your interest in the future of the planet and the environment. This is why I came to your firm. And yes, I was waiting for you to contact me on this matter. And I hope we can continue working towards our goals together. I would like to suggest that you come with me to my meeting with Bob Watson, I think you will find you have many things in common with him. Are you interested?”

“I’m more than interested, I’m enthralled with the idea, I have wanted to do this all my life. So, yes, yes, I would love to come. In fact, I was planning on going to the airport to go see how the investment I’ve been contributing for the past fifteen years is faring. I have my belongings in my car. This is the opportunity I’ve been looking forward to all my life. It is a dream come true. More than anything I want my life to have meaning and make the world a better place.”

“So, shall we have a toast to a new beginning? Can I call you by your first name, James?”

“Yes, but please call me Jim.”

“Please call me Alan, Jim.”

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THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

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It’s the first day of the rest of my life. Today is my first day of retirement. I worked hard all my life and saved money so I will be prepared for a happy and secure retirement.

I wake up at 6:30 AM. At the same time, I have been waking up for the past thirty-plus years. Old habits are hard to break and all that. I stumble out of bed and make my way into my bathroom. I look in the mirror at my reflection. I’m still trying to come to terms with the face that stares back at me in that mirror. There’s a similarity to the face I expect to see but still, it looks like a stranger, even if it looks like a familiar stranger. In fact, I look a couple of decades older than I feel.

I expect to see my bright, blue eyes, a ready smile, and a youthful countenance. I guess the youthful part is what’s missing.

I made a commitment to begin every day of my new life by exercising. I start by doing some warming-up exercises like doing deep knee bends, sit-ups, and stretches. And then I get on my clothes and walking shoes, grab my keys and head out my kitchen door to walk two miles.

I have to admit I’m somewhat out of shape and my feet are killing me even though I bought expensive walking shoes. I have no doubt that tomorrow my back and legs and feet will be killing me as well. But I will not let that stop me. I made a promise to myself that I will get in shape within the next six months.

My intention is to get in shape and stay in shape and live for at least another twenty years. I just wish that my face would cooperate and get in shape. If that is even possible. While I’m walking my miles, I consider the next steps to take to rejuvenating my body from head to toe. And decide that I will call my hairdresser and make an appointment to get a haircut and maybe some highlights in my hair. And perhaps a facial as well.

As I’m heading towards the last block I have to walk before I head home for breakfast, I see someone, a middle-aged man looking in my direction. He is standing next to a car that has the trunk open. I wonder if he is having car trouble? I keep walking but quicken my pace as I get closer to the man standing on the sidewalk. He looks at me and I nod and keep going. Maybe I’m just being paranoid, but you never know what might happen. I decided that when I’m out walking alone, I will keep alert, not wear headphones and maybe even keep my keys in my hand at all times just to be safe. I suppose I’m being paranoid, but better paranoid, than dead.

As I continue my walk, I decide to cross the street just in case. As I cross the street I glance over and I see the man get in his car and drive off. I feel a sense of relief. Maybe I am a little paranoid. But still…

I’m only halfway through my walk and my legs are starting to ache a bit, probably from all the years I sat working at my desk. I did have a sedentary job. I should have made an effort to do some kind of physical activity, but I can’t change the past so I’ll just have to do better now. As I’m walking along, I start thinking about all the things I missed out on because I spent the last thirty-something years working to support myself. I never got married, didn’t have children. Didn’t even have a pet, since I often had to go on business trips.

And then the solution to my newly retired lifestyle comes to me, I need to get a pet. I consider getting a cat. But then I think if I get a dog, he can go on walks with me. And I won’t be as nervous because I won’t be walking alone. And that is when I decide that when I get home, I’m going to look on the internet for all the local shelters and go looking for a dog. I haven’t had a dog since I was a kid. I feel excited. I step up my pace and head back in the direction of my house.

According to Google, there are a couple of animal shelters within a mile of my residence. I go to each site and write down their addresses. I jump in the shower and then throw on my clothes. I can’t wait to find out who will be my new best friend.

I forgo breakfast and head out to my car and turn on my GPS to the first animal shelter. I’m the first person to arrive at the shelter. In fact, the volunteers and the employees haven’t even arrived. I listen to a podcast while I wait for the shelter to open. About thirty minutes later a woman pulls up in a Volkswagen. A woman well over six feet tall unfolds herself and steps out of a tiny car. I’m amazed that she fit in the car.

I jump out of my car and quick-step over to where she is emerging from her car like a butterfly out of a cocoon. I say, “good morning” in the cheeriest voice I can muster up. And she almost jumps out of her skin, because she had no idea I was standing there. She screams, at the top of her voice. “Dear god, you almost gave me a heart attack.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you would have seen me waiting in my car.”

“We don’t open up for another twenty minutes. And I need to have a cup of coffee before I will be able to interact with another human being. Why don’t you go around the corner there is a small coffee shop there and have some coffee and a donut. And by then I will be fit to talk to.”

“Sure, I’ll do just that. I’m sorry if I startled you, I’m just so excited to find my new companion, I just retired, today in fact. And I want to get a dog and—–“

“Please, can you just come back in about a half-hour?”

I look at her, and I realize I better give her the half-hour or she may just put the kibosh on me adopting a dog. “I’ll see you in a little while.”

I decide to walk around the block rather than driving and then having to look for a parking spot and then having to drive back here. It’s a beautiful Fall day and I haven’t been in this area before. I see a shop on the corner called, “HITS THE SPOT.” And I think that must be it, what a clever name.

I push open the door and I hear bells ringing. I look up and I see a bell attached to the chain on the door. There is something so cheerful and inviting about doorbells, I just love them. As I walk through the door, I hear laughter. And to my surprise, there are about fifteen people sitting at the counter. There is a man about my age behind the counter and he seems to be the center of attention. His hair is a mixture of red with white highlights. And he has a red beard. There has always been something about beards that I like. He flashes me a toothy grin and says, “Hey guys move over and let the lovely lady take a seat.”

I can’t believe it but I blush all the way to the roots of my hair. I probably haven’t blushed in thirty years. I smile and take a seat.

“What can I do for you? How about a cup of the best coffee in thirty miles to start?”

“Yes, that sounds great, I haven’t eaten anything today.”

“Well, then how about the house specialty, creamed beef on toast or shit on a shingle like they used to call it in the old days. What do you say, sound good?”

“Well, I’m trying to lose some weight, but since it’s my first day of retirement I think I’ll make an exception and have the house specialty. It sounds great. I don’t think I’ve had that since I was a kid.”

“Well, this is a day for a celebration, how come I never saw you around here before?”

“Well, as I said I just retired and I had to go to work, and I don’t live in this area. I just came here to visit the Animal Shelter. I decided I needed to get a dog since I will be home from now on. I arrived before the shelter opened so the woman who works at the shelter recommended your restaurant to me since I had some time to kill.”

“Oh, well that was nice of her. Was she kind of grouchy?”

“Well, yes. But I was early and waiting for the shelter to open, and she wasn’t too thrilled by that.”

“Well, that’s Madge for you, but she gets better as the day goes on, she usually comes here for lunch every day. OK, let me get busy and make you the best Shit on a Shingle you ever had. I’m sure you’ll be back tomorrow for more.”

I sit quietly and listen to the conversation flow around me. It’s a mixture of retired men and the occasional working stiff that stopped in for a cup of coffee on their way to work. I was enjoying the comradery. And before I know it, my breakfast was ready. I said, “oh that does bring back memories of my childhood, we used to have this every Friday night for dinner when I was growing up.”

I start eating, and it was even more delicious than I remember. I didn’t say a word, while I was eating. And then I just sighed. Then the cook said, “by the way, my name is Harry and this is my place, and you are welcome to come back anytime, in fact, we would love to have a beautiful lady such as yourself come share breakfast with us. “

“You know, I was going to start the day with a long walk, and I think I will do just that it is about a mile from my house to here and I could stop and join you guys for coffee and occasionally have breakfast since I’m trying to lose weight. By the way, my name is Kathleen. And I’m happy to meet you Harry, and the rest of you as well.”

“So, what kind of dog are you going to get?”

“Well, I don’t know, I don’t know what kind of dogs they have available yet. And I haven’t had a dog since I was a kid. I guess I’ll know when I see him or her. I’m really excited about it.”

“Well, after you get your new best friend stop by and introduce him to the rest of us.”

“I will do just that. What do I owe you? That was the best meal I’ve had in a long time.”

Harry slides the bill over to Kathleen, and says, “the first meal is on the house, but only if you promise to become a regular customer.”

“Really, oh this really has been a great beginning to my retirement. Kathleen looks around at all the smiling faces and says, “the day I get my new dog, I’ll stop and have a celebratory meal. Is that alright, Harry?”

Kathleen waves goodbye as she goes out the door and gives them all a big smile. She can’t believe what a great start she’s having on her first day of retirement and now she’s walking back to the shelter to meet her new best friend.

Kathleen wants to walk faster but she’s afraid she ate a bit too much and she doesn’t want to feel sick so she takes her time getting back to the shelter.

As she walks through the front entrance of the shelter, she can hear dogs barking. Then she hears a young woman’s voice call out, “good morning, can I help you?”

Kathleen is relieved that she doesn’t have to speak to the woman that she met earlier. “Yes, I just retired, and I want to adopt a dog. I wasn’t ever able to have one before because of my job and the hours I kept and business trips.”

“Well, that’s wonderful. Do you know what kind of dog you want?”
“I had a Cocker Spaniel when I was a kid. Her name was Naomi, and she was so sweet and intelligent. Do you happen to have any kind of Cocker Spaniel or even a mixed Spaniel?

“Well, as a matter of fact, we do. And I think that you will just love her. She is about five years old. She has a wonderful, loving nature and is smart as a whip. Do you want to go meet her?”

“Really, she sounds great. Can I see her now?”

“Of course, lets’ go see her. How about if I take her out of her kennel and you can meet me outside in the back. That way she won’t be distracted by all the other dogs. How’s that?”

“Great, oh I can’t wait. I’ll meet you outside.”

In about five minutes, Kathleen hears someone open the back door of the kennel and the woman she talked to comes out with the most adorable dog Kathleen has ever seen. She’s in love the second she sees her.

Oh my, isn’t she precious? I love her.”

“Why don’t you walk over slowly and she will get to know you. I think the two of you will be a great pair.”

Kathleen slowly walks toward the little dog, And the dog starts wagging her tail and smiling at her. Kathleen gets down on her hands and knees and approaches the dog. She slowly moves her hand toward her and the dog licks her hand. She moves her hand and slowly pets the dog from head to toe. “Oh, aren’t you the sweetest little thing? Can I walk her around a bit?”

“Yes, I’ll stand back here and let you two get acquainted. Take your time. You want to be absolutely positive that this is the dog for you. You don’t even have to make up your mind today. If you want to you can meet some other dogs too.”

Kathleen spends almost a half-hour quietly talking to the little dog and getting to know her. She is such a calm, yet happy little dog. She knows that they will get along together. “Thank you, for being so patient with me, I definitely want to adopt her. So, we can get the paperwork started and I can find out what I need to do. Did she get spayed yet or are there any problems I should know about her?”

“Let’s go inside and do the paperwork, and I’ll tell you her history and by the way, you can change her name if you wish, but her name is Goldie.”

“Oh, that’s perfect. I love it. Let me start filling out the papers, and pay the fee and find out any health issues. And oh, does she up to date on her shots?”

“OK, let’s take one thing at a time, and I’ll take Goldie in the back and have her get the latest flea treatment so you won’t have to worry about that. And I’ll give you all her paperwork and let you know her history. It won’t take that long.”

About thirty-five minutes later Kathleen heads out the door with Goldie and begins her new life with Kathleen. It’s a new beginning for both of them. “Come on Goldie, we just have to take a short walk to my car and maybe meet some new friends of mine. And then we’ll be on our way home, and wait until you see your new backyard. You’ll never have to be chained up again. And they take their first step towards their new life together. A beginning neither one of them expected when they woke up that morning. You never know what good things lie ahead of you in life.

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Writer's Blog by Susan A. Culver

Category Archives: Fiction

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GROWING UP IS HARD TO DO

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DREAMS DO COME TRUE

THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE