Tag Archives: best friends

YOU WERE NEVER PROMISED PARADISE

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I had moved out of my parent’s house the Summer I turned eighteen and graduated from high school. I had planned my exit for years since I was a Junior in High School. My parents had a volatile relationship. By that, I mean they argued night and day. And often, the verbal arguments turned physical. I can not begin to count the number of times that I came downstairs to our kitchen and found my mother sitting at the kitchen table with an icepack on her face.

My mother would look at me with a weird grin on her face. I never understood what she was smiling about. When I was younger, I would run over to her and say,” Mommy, are you alright? What happened? Did you fall down again?” She always told me she tripped and fell and hit her head. I couldn’t understand why she fell down so often. Then I would hug her and say, “Mommy, please be careful and try not to fall down.”

Of course, as I grew older, I realized that all the yelling and screaming every night was followed by my father hitting or punching my mother. And in the morning, the trashcan in the kitchen would be filled to the brim with empty beer bottles. At first, I thought it was just my dad drinking a lot of beer. But at some point, I think about the time I was going to Middle School, I realized that they were both drinking beer or wine every night. And that is when they would start arguing. And the arguing evolved into knock-down, drag-down brawls in the kitchen or sometimes in their bedroom. I didn’t know anything else. I thought everyone’s parents had verbal and physical fights every night.

When I was a sophomore in high school, I was invited to a birthday party that was also a sleepover at my best friend Kathleen’s house. Six other girls from our class were invited. We had so much fun playing games. And watching a scary movie and eating junk food until we felt sick, screaming and hitting each other. But they never did. In fact, Kathleen’s mother brought tray after tray of food and sodas and, finally, the birthday cake for all of us to eat. And she smiled and hugged us and said, “Thank you, girls, for coming to Kathleen’s birthday party, and thank you for all the wonderful presents.

I didn’t have any money to buy Kathleen a present, so I made her a present. It was a drawing of her and me playing at the park, swinging on the swings, and going down the slide. When we were little. Kathleen gave me a big smile when she opened it. And said, I love it, Coleen. I will treasure it always.”

All the other kids had brought games and toys for her. But my father yelled at me when I asked him for a couple of dollars to buy my best friend a birthday present. He said,” What do you think that we are made of money?”

Around ten o’clock, Kathleen’s mom said, “ok, girls, it’s time for everyone to go to sleep. If anyone has to go to the bathroom, now is the time to do it. We were all sleeping on the living room floor in sleeping bags that Kathleen’s mother had laid out. We didn’t go to sleep right away. We whispered to each other and laughed. I kept waiting for Kathleen’s mother or father to come into the living room, yell at us, and tell us to shut up, but she never did. After a while, we all quieted down and stopped talking. But I laid awake for a long- long time waiting for the yelling and screaming and fighting to begin, but it never did. It was so quiet I had a hard time falling asleep since I was used to yelling, screaming all night long. Finally, I fell asleep, and for the first time in my life, I slept all through the night without being afraid or crying.

In the morning, Kathleen’s mother crept into the living room and said, “OK, sleepyheads, time to come into the kitchen for a special breakfast. We all slowly woke up and stumbled into the kitchen. Kathleen’s mother had made special pancakes with smiling faces on them and magic candles in the middle that looked like they were burning, but no matter how many times we tried to blow the candles out, they wouldn’t blow out. The pancakes had blueberries in them, which were my favorite fruit, and I gulped them down. And Kathleen’s mother said, Coleen, there’s more where that came from, so take your time. And she smiled at me and patted me on the head. I ducked because I thought she was going to hit me. But she didn’t. She just gave me another blueberry pancake.

After breakfast, Kathleen’s mother said, “ I have a surprise for you. We will all go to the roller rink and roller skating. Don’t worry about having skates because. We will rent them when we arrive. We’re going to leave in about a half hour, so everyone go and brush your teeth and comb your hair, wash your faces and get dressed. And then we’ll be on our way.”

Everyone started yelling and saying, “Hurrah.” I had never been skating and didn’t know how to skate. I went over to Kathleen’s mom and said, “I don’t know how to skate.” She said, “Well, don’t you worry about that. I’ll show you how and we’ll start out slow until you get the hang of it. And I’ll hold your hand until you feel like you can do it on your own, OK.” I nodded my head, and she said now go get dressed so we can all be on our way and have a lot of fun. And you know what else? I’m going to tell you a secret. I was afraid of what she was going to say. But, she said, “We are going to skate until lunchtime, and then we are going to have a pizza party at the roller rink and have an ice cream cake after. How do you like that?”

“I like that, and I love pizza. My father doesn’t like it, and he never lets my mother buy it. I can’t wait. Kathleen’s mother gave me a hug and said, Coleen, you are welcome to come to our house every time we have pizza. I know that Kathleen would love to have you come over since you are her best friend.”

“I’m her best friend, really?”

“Of course, Coleen. You’re her best friend. Now, let’s get ready to go. Shall we?”

And then I ran into the bathroom, washed my face and hands, and brushed my teeth extra long. Then I looked into their bathroom mirror and saw a smiling face looking back at me. And I was surprised when I realized it was my own face smiling at me. And then I ran into the living room and said, “Well, I’m ready.” And everybody laughed because I hadn’t changed out of my pajamas yet. So, I ran back into the bathroom and put my clothes on, and the next thing I knew, we were all pilling into the van and on our way to the roller rink.

It was the best day of my life. I know it was Kathleen’s birthday, but it felt like a gift to me. Roller skate with my friends, eat pizza, and drink sodas and then ice cream. I ate so much that I almost threw up after lunch when I started roller skating. Kathleen’s mom said, “Maybe we should wait a little while before we roller skate. So, our food will get digested. So, we all sang Happy Birthday to Kathleen and gave her a pinch to grow an inch.

At the end of the day, we were full of food, and our legs were tired from roller skating, but it was the best day of my life. And I knew I would never forget it. After we left the roller rink, Kathleen’s mother said she had to call my mother to make sure she was home. So, after a few moments, she came back to the van and said, “Coleen, your Mom had a little accident, but she is going to be OK in a few days, but until then, you will be staying at my house.”

“Is my mother going to be alright?” Yes, she will be fine in a few days, but your dad is not going to be home for a while. So, that’s why you are staying with us until your Mom is all better. Later today, I will go over to your house and get some of your clothes, school stuff, and anything else you need, you can tell me, and I’ll get that too.”

I knew my father had probably hit my mom, and I wished he would never come back. I loved my dad, but he was always mean to my mother and hurt her. Kathleen’s mom said, “After I see your mom, I’ll tell her you will be safe and sound at our house until she feels all better. And that she doesn’t have to worry about you.”

“Can I go see my mom at the hospital?”

“Of course, you can, but maybe tomorrow would be a better day after she rests for a while. But, if she is up to it, I’ll ask her to give you a call from the hospital. “

“Really, OK. Please tell my mom that I love her.”

“Oh, I know your mother loves you right back with all her heart. Everything is going to be alright.”

And everything was OK. I stayed at Kathleen’s house for two weeks until my mother left the hospital. I never saw my dad again because after he got out of jail, my parents got a divorce. I still missed my dad; even after all he did, I still loved him. But, after a while, my mom and I were alright. I don’t know if my father ever talked to my mother. If he did, she never told me.

Kathleen and I stayed friends all the way through high school. And we both applied to the same college and were accepted. We were roommates for four years. And when we graduated at the top of our class. Kathleen’s mother and my mom came together to watch us. They had become friends over the years. Sometimes, I think about my dad and miss him. But, I had to accept that everything in life doesn’t always have a happy ending for everyone.

 

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THE EARLY BIRDS GETS THE WORM

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As far back as I can remember my family has been telling me that I let my imagination run away with me. One family member actually had the audacity to tell me I was full of malarkey.

As a child, I would come home after playing outside with my friends and as soon as everyone was seated at the dinner table I would regale them with the adventures I experienced that day.

I always begin by saying, “wow you won’t believe what happened to me today.”

And then one night at the dinner table my oldest siblings said, “oh no, here she goes again with one of her wild stories. Mom, can’t you tell her to shut up? We can never eat in peace. You know she is full of bologna. There is no way that one person could have some crazy thing happen to them every single day of their life.

The weirdest thing that happened to me today is that my boss at Acme didn’t fire me. After I forgot to bring in the dairy delivery immediately after it arrived. He’s fires people for smaller mistakes. I consider it almost a miracle that I still have a job. But you don’t hear me telling you every night what awesome or strange thing happened to me every day do you?”

“Larry does not use that kind of language at the dinner table. And leave Sandy alone. She’s not doing any harm. She just has an active imagination. That’s all. She’s a very creative kid with a big imagination. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Yeah, imagination, sure. If anyone of the rest of us told so many lies, we would never hear the end of it.”

“He’s right Mom. You do favor her. She gets away with murder.”

“That’s enough Libby. How about we all just eat out dinner quietly.’

As a result, I never did get to tell them what happened to me. Every time I tried to bring it up. Someone would tell me to shut up, And my mother would say, “you are not allowed to say shut up in this house.

“Maybe I should start at the beginning. After I got out of school that day, I ran home. So that I could change out of my school uniform and into my play clothes. And then I ran over to my best friend’s house down the street. I banged on her front door. No one answered.

I banged and banged at the door for at least twenty minutes. I was about to give up and then I saw someone at the front window. She looked like a witch. Her hair was standing up in every direction. Her face had something sticky smeared across it. All the way up to her hairline. At first, I thought it was blood. The longer I looked I realized it was some kind of food on her face, maybe jelly. The window was half-opened she screamed out the opening, “help, help me they are keeping me, prisoner, here. Help, help, help.”

At first, I thought I better run away. She‘s some kind of witch, She‘s going to eat me. But then I saw tears slowly running down her face from her red, bloodshot eyes and down her wrinkled cheeks. And she kept wiping them away with the back of her hand. This further spread the jelly or whatever it was across her face. There seemed no end to her tears. I ran up to the front garden under the window and yelled up at her, “are you alright? Are you hurt? Do you want me to call the police?” She continued to moan and cry, “help me, help me.”

I decided to try getting into the house through the screen porch at the back of the house. My friend, Jilly lived there. But it didn’t seem like anyone else was home but this old lady. Jilly had told me that they never locked the back porch in case one of them got locked out of the house by mistake.

So I pushed it open and ran over to the kitchen door. I turned the knob and I was in. I stepped into the kitchen it smelled like pizza like it always does. My best friend‘s family is Italian and they eat spaghetti or lasagna or pizza almost every night. It always smells delicious in their kitchen. I called out, “Hello, hello where are you?” I could hear her crying from the living room. I yelled out, “hello it’s me, Sandy.”

Nobody answered me. So, I just walked quietly into the living room. I didn’t want to scare her. “Hi, it’s me, Sandy.” I saw her still looking out the living room window. I tiptoed up to her and said, “hi, I’m here. She screamed at the top of her lungs. I let out a scream myself. ” Good grief, you scared me half to death. Where is everyone? Why are you all alone? Where’s Jilly?”

She said, ” they left me all alone. They are keeping me a prisoner. They won’t let me out.”

I said, “let’s sit down in the kitchen. I know let’s eat a cookie. I saw some on the counter when I walked through there. Do you want a cookie?” She smiled for the first time.

“Yes, cookie, I want a cookie.”

I helped her sit down and pushed her chair in. We both sat quietly and ate the chocolate chip cookies. And then I said, “are you Jilly’s grandmother?”

“Yes. I’m a grandmother.”

“Are you living here now?”
“Yes, I’m living here. They left me all alone. I was taking a nap and when I woke up, they were gone. I was scared and lonely and all by myself.”

“Well, I‘ll stay here until they come home. Would you like that?”

“Yes, stay. I’m scared.”

We sat and ate our cookies for a while and I ask her what’s your name? She said, “my name is Alma. I came here a long time ago. I’m from Italy. We landed in New York City at the Statue of Liberty in 1905. We lived in Camden, New Jersey for many years. My husband was a tailor and he made suits for men. I had twelve children. They are all grown up and have children of their own. And some of their children have children. My husband died and now I’m all alone.”

“You’re not alone Alma. You live with your son, daughter-in-law, and two grandchildren. And now you have me, I’ll be your friend and I’ll come to visit you anytime you want me to. Maybe we could take a walk around the garden in the backyard. And there’s a big swing hanging from the Willow Tree that we could take a ride on. What do you say?”

“Yes, I say let’s take some cookies outside too. I love cookies.”

“Really I love cookies and candy. Next time I come over I’ll bring some cookies that my mom made. They’re oatmeal raisin. They are so yummy.”

Alma had a big smile across her face. And that’s when I saw Alma didn’t have any teeth. And I wondered how she could chew the cookies. I handed her two of the cookies and we sat down on the couch that was on the back porch. She finished her cookies before I did.

“Good, they’re good cookies. Give me more.”

“Maybe next time, I don’t want you to get sick.”

She smiled at me. And that’s when I heard my friend Jilly’s car drive up. It was an old car and it made a lot of noise. I said, “Alma your family is home. Do you want to go back into the house?”

She said, ‘no, I like it out here. It’s nice and there are a lot of birds and flowers. I used to have a garden when I lived in Camden in the front yard. I had all different kinds of roses. And we had a grapevine and my husband used to make his own wine. I miss that.”

“Maybe your son would let you have a garden here. And then you could go outside in the fresh air and not be stuck in the house all the time.”

“Yes, I would love to have a garden again. Let’s do that.”

And then I thought, oh no, I shouldn’t have told her that. Maybe they’ll say no. And then she’ll be sad again. “Alma, stay here. I’m going to run around front and tell them we are out on the porch. So, they won’t worry. I’ll be right back. Stay here.”

I ran out front and Jilly’s father said, “what are you doing here? Why are you here all the time?”

My friend Jilly’s father was a grouch, just like my father. I ignored what he said. And I said, “I was visiting Alma I heard her crying when I was knocking at the front door. And we were sitting on the back porch eating cookies. I told her I would bring her some of my mother’s cookies the next time I come over.”
“How did you get in the house Sandy?”

“I came in the back porch. Jilly told me it is always unlocked. And your mother and I were visiting on the porch and eating cookies. She said she wants to have a garden in the backyard. She loves flowers and grapes.”

“She did, she’s done nothing but cry since she got here. OK, let’s go see her on the back porch. We all marched around the yard to the backyard. Alma was sitting there quietly looking at the backyard. “Hello, Sandy said I could have a garden and work in the backyard.”

“She did Mom. That sounds like a great idea.”

And Sandy said, “she will come over and help me.”

“Well Mom, that sounds like a fine idea. And maybe Jilly can help you as well.”

And that is when I saw the most beautiful toothless smile appear on Grandmother’s face. That’s what she told me to call her, Grandmother. I never had a grandmother before. So, at least once a week I go over and help grandmother in the garden. And she tells me all kinds of stories about the olden days when she was growing up in Italy.

And that is how I made my second best, Alma. At least once or twice a week I go over to Jilly’s house and sit on the back porch and eat oatmeal raisin cookies with cold milk. And sometimes we go in the yard and work in the garden. I’m in charge of any worms we find. Because Alma is afraid of snakes. I keep telling her that these are just little worms but she doesn’t believe me.

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Childhood Isn’t Always What It Is Cracked Up To Be

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I skipped and half-ran down to the corner house. Darlene Domeraski’s house. I looked forward to the visit all day. While I suffered through the dear nuns ranting and raving, all the way to the three o’clock bell at dismissal.

I absolutely loved going to Darlene’s house not because she was my best friend because she wasn’t. She was Janet Rathgab’s best friend.

I loved her house because she had her own bedroom with a giant queen-sized bed that had a down-filled comforter. She had a closet full of dresses made for her.

Sea Turt;e

Sea Turtle

I did covet everything that lived her kitchen cupboards and inside the oven where they stored their snacks.

Darlene’s father came home about four-thirty that afternoon. He called Darlene outside and said,” Hey, Darlene and Susie I have something to show you.” I followed her to the driveway next to the grapevine where we often ate so many grapes, we got sick. He called us over again. “Come here girls take a look.” He let us stand on the back of the truck bumper. As we peered down, I saw a beautiful sea turtle. I was about to reach out and touched it when he pulled out a long knife and cut off the turtle’s head.

I screamed as loud as I have screamed in my ten years of life. I jumped off the bumper of his truck and ran the two blocks to my home. Just as I reached my house, with tears streaming down my face I got sick on the sidewalk. I stood there crying until my tears ran dry.

I wiped my eyes dry with the sleeve of my favorite yellow sweater and took a deep breath and ran up to my front door, and into the kitchen. My parents were sitting at the kitchen table. My father said, “hey Susabelle, what’s the matter? Were you crying?

I looked at my father and then over at my mother and I said. “What no, I just ran all the way home so I wouldn’t be late for dinner. I never went over Darlene’s house again. I never coveted her house, her clothes or her room again either.

YOU GOT IT MADE IN THE SHADE IN THE SUMMER

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I wake up covered in sweat. My bedroom is unbearably hot. But that isn’t why I woke up early. I hear a buzzing in my ear. I always cover my head with the sheet at night to keep the biting mosquitoes at bay. But that doesn’t stop the annoying and relentless buzzing.

Before we go to bed for the night, my family searches out all the mosquitoes in the house and massacre as many as we can find. New Jersey used to be a swamp. The swamp is gone, but the mosquitoes remain. It’s the only thing I detest about summer — the mosquitoes. I make a promise to myself that tonight, I will not leave a single mosquito alive. I make this promise every night, but tonight I will not fail.

Downtown Maple Shade, NJ 1960s

The 5& 10 Store Main Street, Maple Shade, NJ

I hear my mother and father talking in the kitchen. I get out of bed and put my ear on the heater vent. “Mom, what do you need from the Acme for dinner tonight?”

Yes, my dad calls my mother, Mom. I didn’t think it was weird when I was young until I visited my friend’s houses and found out my friend’s fathers don’t call their wives, mom. But I guess every family is somewhat different from every other one.

Boy, I could tell some stories about what goes on in their houses. For instance, at my best friend’s house, her father talks to Joanie and me from the bathroom while he is sitting on the toilet. I’m not kidding. If I ever to talk to my father in the bathroom, he would murder me for sure. I never told my mother about that, or she wouldn’t let me go over there anymore. It’s practically my second home. One day Joanie’s father said, “Don’t you have a home of your own Susie?” I just laughed and asked if I could have another donut. Joanie’s dad works in the meat department at the Acme and brings home lots of goodies. He is kind of grouchy like my father, but I’m used to that.

And then there is my friend Darlene; boy, is she lucky. Darlene’s family keep all the snacks in the oven. Her mother only cooks on the stove top. And her dining room table is covered in piles of unopened mail. It always looks the same. So, I’m not sure where they eat their meals. Her mother and father were born in Poland. Anyway, they have every kind of cookie you can imagine: even Oreo Cookies, my absolute favorite. I twist the cookies apart, eat all the delicious icing, and then dip them into ice-cold milk. Once a week, Darlene’s mother gives Darlene money to buy fresh bread at the Maple Shade Bakery downtown. And we eat half of it on the walk home. Her mother never says a word about it. And best of all, Darlene’s Dad gets a big can of Charlie Chips delivered to their house once a month, along with lots of beer. And they are so good (the chips not the beer) you wouldn’t believe it. They melt in your mouth, crisp and salty.

Darlene’s mother is a tailor at the coat factory in Maple Shade. She makes all of Darlene’s clothes. Darlene’s closet is almost as big as my bedroom, and she has a queen size bed with a fluffy comforter on it. We sit on her bed and tell each other our secrets and read comic books.

Summer is my favorite time of the year. I’m free to go wherever I want as long as I come home on time for lunch and dinner. My parents don’t ask what I have been doing. And after I got my own bike, I was able to go much further, including the Strawbridge Lake in Moorestown with my best friend, Joanie. We watch the ducks swimming around the lake and walk across the dam and watch people fishing. In the winter, we go ice skating on Strawbridge Lake and drink hot chocolate that we bring with us in thermoses. Strawbridge Lake is my favorite place on earth. I always look at the big houses that are across the street and wished we lived there. But I know I would miss my friends too much. And I’m happy where I live now in Maple Shade.

During the hot summer months, all the kids in the neighborhood go swimming in my next-door neighbor Jackie’s above ground swimming pool. Just last week, I, Joan, Elaine, Darlene, and a couple of other kids from down the street went swimming. We had such fun. Unfortunately, Jackie’s mother forgot to put chlorine in the pool this year, and we all got impetigo. This is some kind of skin infection on your skin and is very itchy, and you get scabs everywhere. We all had to go to the doctors for antibiotics. My mother said, “Susie, that’s the end of going swimming at their pool.” I cried and whined, but that was the end of swimming in their pool.

On Saturdays, there is a matinee at the Roxy Movie Theater on Main Street. All the kids in town go. It costs a quarter. My mother makes me Lebanon Bologna sandwiches with cheese on white bread to eat while I’m watching the movie. There’s a stage in front of the movie screen.   Before the movie, a woman plays the organ that is on the left side of the stage. And sometimes they give away collector dishes to kids whose ticket stubs are picked. So far, I haven’t won, but I know I will. And I ‘ll give the plate to my mother. When the movie is about to start, they pull back the velvet curtains to reveal the movie screen. Then turn off all the lights in the theater, and loud music is played. All the kids start clapping and stamping their feet. It’s exciting.

Last week we saw Village of the Damned. It was the scariest movie I ever saw. It was about these psychic children that were all born at the same time in one small town under mysterious conditions, and they were a threat to their town. They were all blond and had blue eyes and were very smart. When my friends and I were leaving the movie theater, all the kids started pointing at me because I have blond hair and blue eyes like evil children.

Sometimes my friends and I catch the bus in front of the police station, and we go to the Riverside Roller Rink. My friends and I go roller skating for fifty cents for the whole day. It’s great fun. First, we have to rent our roller skates if we don’t have any of our own. Sometimes they don’t fit too well, so I always bring an extra pair of socks. Otherwise, you end up with blisters on your feet. I try not to think about all the people that wore these skates before me. Of course, I spend most of my time getting up after falling and crashing into the wall. I’m usually bruised from head to toe by the end of the day. But I love it. By the time my bruises heal up, it’s time to go again.

But by far, my favorite thing to do in the summer is walking down to the library. It’s attached to the Maple Shade police station. I love to read. I spend hours in there looking at all the books, and I take out as many books as I’m allowed. I even have my own library card. It’s a blue card, and it has a little metal plate on it with the MA236 embossed on it. In two weeks, I go back to the library with all the books that I read and get six more. The librarians all know my name since I go there all the time and say, “well, if it isn’t Miss Carberry again. How are you today?” I give them a big smile, and I’m off to find some more treasures to read. Heaven.